Reasonable Doubt
by manwathiel elensar
Summary: When Reid starts behaving strangely, the team expect the worst - he's losing his mind. But is that all there is to it? And will the team spot the the warning signs before it's too late? No slash. Please R&R! Warnings: Non-con, Abuse, violence.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first ever Criminal Minds fanfiction. This story does have the potential to go up to an M rating and most likely will when the time is right. I really hope you enjoy my story, the first chapter is something of a summary of the general situation so not a great deal happens!**

**I would love it if you could R&R! I really want some interest in this story, or else my interest will disappear :( Anyway, yes! Enjoy my first chapter!**

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><p>"<em>The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend." - ROBERTSON DAVIES<em>

Morgan walked into the BAU office, a smile plastered on his face. This week was something of a rest week for the whole team. A chance to catch up on paper work, which was not a particularly exciting prospect, but this also meant it would be an unsub free week. This pleased Morgan immensely.

Their last case had been nothing out of the ordinary. It had thankfully been a local case. A mentally disturbed young male, murdering prostitutes due to past associations with his mother and that "line of work". He had taken only 2 days for the BAU to home in on him, and within 12 hours he had been arrested and charged. The whole team were particularly grateful for cases such as these, they were a welcome relief. However selfish that seemed, they knew they had to give thanks for the easier cases, they were few and far between. And it was clear that Morgan understood this far too well.

"Morning Emily!" He smiled brightly as he sat down at his desk. She turned to look at him, giving him the death glare. "What?" He exclaimed, teasing.

"How can you be so happy? Have you looked at your in tray recently?" She referred to the huge pile of paperwork stacked up on his desk.

"Yeah, and I can tell you that it has never been more welcome." He smiled again at Prentiss and she couldn't help but grin back.

"Tell yourself that by the end of the week." She quipped, taking a file from her mountain of paperwork.

Morgan grinned back, he was clearly quite satisfied with his down time. He looked around the bull pen and saw other teams focusing their attentions on various cases. Glad that it was them instead of him and his team for a change.

JJ passed by, dragging her hand along Morgan's shoulders to catch his attention.

"Morning!" She said in greeting as she passed.

"Hey." Replied Morgan absent mindedly. Following her path Morgan saw her head past Rossi and Hotch who were engaged in relaxed conversation. He nodded a greeting to them, in return, Rossi nodded back. Hotch didn't, but that was just his way.

Morgan took the first file off the top of his pile and started work. After ten minutes of reading and filling out various forms, he glanced across his work space to the empty chair opposite Prentiss.

"Reid's late." He said, rather nonchalantly. "Not like him." He flicked through a few more papers as he waited for the reply.

"Nope." Emily said, her head deep in her work. "But then he's not been acting like himself the last couple of days, has he." She merely stated.

Morgan placed his work down on his desk and curiously glanced up at his female co-worker.

"How so?"

"Well you saw the whole pen thing didn't you?" Prentiss asked, also putting her work down.

"No, what pen thing?" Morgan's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Oh, that's right, you were talking to the family." Emily reminded herself. "He did this weird thing where he said he'd lost his pen – he'd left it in the office – but he swore blind that he had it two minutes before. Just at that moment, Hotch came out and gave it to him. You should have seen his face. He was waving this piece of paper around saying 'How could I have written this if my pen is in _there_!' It really seemed to bother him." Morgan raised his eyebrows.

"What's this?" Rossi interjected.

"Reid and the pen." Emily replied, slightly tongue in cheek.

"Ooooh." Rossi smiled at the gossip spreader.

"He was really funny about it, wasn't he Dave?"

"Hmm," he nodded, "but you know Reid, anything to do with his mind is a touchy subject."

Morgan looked a little concerned. Prentiss gazed at him, slightly unsettled.

"What's up, Morgan?"

"I dunno, it's probably nothing, but Reid did that a couple of times with me too. He would put something down and claim that it was turning up some place else. I mean, obviously I didn't think anything of it, but-"

"Everyone has their off days, Derek." Rossi interrupted. "Even geniuses... I should know" Rossi patted Morgan on the shoulder, jokingly, sitting himself down in a spare chair. "Head's up, he's just come in."

They suddenly all went quiet, if it had been clear they had been talking about him then Reid didn't notice. He placed his satchel on the back of his chair and sat down, running his hand through his still wet hair.

His three colleagues all stared at him, laughter dancing in their eyes. Feeling their gazes burning a hole in the top of his head, he looked up, a question in his eyes.

"Been swimming?" Morgan asked, a slight grin. Prentiss and Rossi smiled at each other. _Typical__Morgan._

Reid furrowed his brows in annoyance.

"No." He said curtly, looking at Morgan like he was stupid. He grabbed a file from his huge pile and started reading through at lightning speed.

Morgan flicked a quick glance up to Rossi and Prentiss as if to say 'my bad' and turned to get on with his work.

Rossi eyed Reid suspiciously. Something was going on with him, but he was damned if he knew what. Realising he was staring at the kid, he suddenly pulled his gaze away and reminded himself that he had work to do. He stood up and moved to his office.

Reid was reading through the pages of the files, trying to unconsciously soak up the information. But each time he reached the end, he found himself forgetting what he had just looked at. He was getting increasingly frustrated with his lack of concentration. These headaches were splitting his head, he was starting to find even the simplest of tasks a chore. The constant pulse of pain throbbed through the front of his head and into his eyes, making the words blurred and hazy. Rubbing his eyes, he gave them a rest for a moment.

"You alright?" Prentiss asked, not missing the movement.

Reid looked up at her, eyes slightly squinted.

"Yeah... why wouldn't I be?" He challanged her. He knew he was being abrasive, but Prentiss was the only one who really knew about the severity of his headaches. He didn't want it broadcasting to the whole office. Prentiss raised her eyebrows, taking the warning. Morgan was now looking at Reid, a concerned look in his eyes. The look that always irritated him. "What?" He snapped at Morgan, frustrated with always being so protected by everyone. It got in the way of him telling them what was really going on with him. Morgan held his hands up innocently.

"Nothin' Reid, just seein' that you're okay."

"Well there's no need." He snapped again. "I'm fine - just need some coffee." At that he stood up and walked over to the small kitchen area and started making himself a strong coffee, plenty of sugar.

Morgan and Prentiss looked to each other, exchanging unhappy glances. They were quickly coming to the same realisation as Rossi, something was not right.

As Reid stood at the coffee machine, a slightly older man approached him, putting his arm around his shoulders. The movement made him jump.

"Woah! Sorry man, you alright?" Reid turned to his new friend, Jason Turner, and gave a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a headache. You surprised me."

"Aw man, another one? That sucks." He put his arm back around Reid's shoulders – a gesture that would normally make Reid very uncomfortable – and gave him some advice. "I really don't think a coffee – or whatever you call that hot sugar drink – is going to help." He smiled.

Reid had only met Jason last week, although it didn't feel like it. He felt like he had known Jason the whole of his life. There was just something between them that brought out the best in each other. Jason had instantly taken to Reid the moment he started talking to him, he found him interesting and quirky. Reid liked the fact that Jason treated him like an adult and respected him, without taking him too seriously. He liked the fact that he could just be himself around Jason. He could also share his problems.

Whilst Reid had been working on the last case, he had a couple of incidents where he'd lost things. First it was his cell phone. After searching through his bag multiple times and dumping the contents out on the table, he later opened it to find the phone right in front of his eyes. That first incident confused him, but after half an hour or so, he didn't think anything else of it. But the next day, he arrived at work with his glasses, he was certain - he had been wearing them on the subway. But within half an hour, they had vanished. There was no sign of them whatsoever. He searched all through his bag, his desk, the round office, the kitchen... everywhere. But he couldn't find them. When Morgan finally attempted to help him an hour later, he opened Reid's top drawer in his desk to find them sitting there, plain as anything. This was when Reid started to panic and at that moment, Jason first came to talk to him in the kitchen. At first Reid held back, but within 20 minutes he had told Jason all about his mother and her schizophrenia, his fears about the illness, his concerns over his headaches and his apparent ability to have no idea what he was doing with his belongings.

Jason merely smiled. And listened. Reassured him that it was probably nothing to worry about, even joked a little bit. It made Reid feel better, like he was a little less odd.

However the next day, when he lost his pen, he went into a complete panic. His mother had bought him that pen for his 12th birthday. It had his name engraved on it in capital letters. It was one of the only belongings he actually managed to keep hold of throughout his traumatic school and college days. That made it all the more special, so when he thought he'd lost it, he was devastated. But not to mention the fact that he was only writing with it at his desk about ten minutes previously. So how it ended up in the circle office, he had no idea. This was when he first seriously questioned whether his mind was starting to go. Was his body taking him on journeys that his mind had no recollection of? The looks the other team members gave him made things even worse. They looked at him as if he was mad. This was when Jason really stepped up to the mark as a worthy friend, he had pulled Reid away from his computer and the rest of the team to give him some encouragement. This was the moment that Reid realised that Jason was a true friend, someone to be trusted. And Reid did not give trust freely.

Reid turned to Jason, a mock-hurt expression on his face.

"You know my _coffee_ is very important to me." He joked, trying to maintain a serious tone.

"Well you ought to try putting some in there then." Jason teased back. Reid smiled. They both then leaned up against the kitchen cupboards, surveying the BAU office.

"But seriously," Jason started, "you okay?" Reid didn't look at him, just gave a small sigh.

"Yeah... yeah, I am." He paused, trying to gather up the courage to speak. "I just keep losing things. I suppose it's getting to me a bit."

Jason furrowed his brows in concern.

"You have only lost a couple of things, Spencer."

"I know." He sighed in frustration. "But in 10 years I have only ever lost one thing. To lose three things in one week just defies the laws of probability."

"Maybe you're stressed out, man. You spend all your time focusing on other people's problems. Maybe you just need a break, a bit of time to yourself, y'know."

Spencer nodded, deep in thought.

"Perhaps."

Patting Reid on the shoulder reassuringly, Jason sighed.

"I gotta get back to work buddy, but I'll tell you what -" He started walking away, turning back to point at Spencer. "You, me and a couple of alcoholic beverages _tonight__"__._Reid knew he was not going to take no for an answer. Rolling his eyes, he smiled slightly.

"Fine."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the reviews so far. I'm really looking forwards to getting my teeth firmly in to this one. Please R&R'ing! :) Your reviews make my day! Enjoy the next installment!**

It was fast approaching 11am and Reid hadn't finished half of the work he normally would in the three hours he had been at the office. His head was still pounding, looking up and around to see where his colleagues were. Finding their desks empty, he rested his head back onto his chair, closing his eyes. He still found no relief, in fact, the movement only succeeded in making him nauseous as well as in pain. Groaning quietly he tipped his head forwards, trying to find a position that alleviated some of the pressure. Not realising he was being watched by three of his co-workers.

"See what I mean?" Morgan turned to Hotch, taking his gaze away from the gap in the blinds. "He's not focused, he's temperamental, he seems to spend half his time trying to relieve some sort of headache. It doesn't look good, Hotch."

Hotch kept his face unreadable, serious as always.

"I know." He said, plainly. "What do you think it is?" Knowing deep down what Morgan's answer would be.

"I hate to say it, man, but..." he paused, trying to think of the right words. "I think he might be using again."

Rossi furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Using?"

"Don't you see the signs? Irritability, headaches, confusion. It's like we're back at where we were four years ago." Morgan said in frustration. His protective older brother act coming into play. Rossi in return, shook his head.

"Reid has more sense than that, Derek." He countered passionately. "He wouldn't willingly throw himself back into that."

"But how do we know what's going on with him, Rossi?" Morgan asked, almost angrily. "All an ex-addict needs is an excuse and they can be right back on the slippery slope-"

"But Reid never made that choice to take the drugs in the first place though, did he Morgan? - That's what you told me!" Rossi was getting frustrated now. He knew Morgan was only looking out for Reid, but labelling him as some sort of weak junkie was, in his opinion, not the way to go about it.

"He made the choice to keep taking them though!" Morgan replied, equally frustrated.

"That's enough." Hotch intervened with his commanding tone, silencing the other two agents. "I agree with both of you. It doesn't look, he is behaving like he is using again, Morgan, you're right. But I agree with Dave... I don't think he would put himself back there again."

Sighing Morgan walked over to Hotch's desk and sat down in the spare chair, hopelessly.

"So where does that leave us then?"

Hotch eyed Morgan and Rossi carefully.

"Well... there is always one more possibility we haven't considered." Two other two agents gazed at him questioningly. "I don't like it, but we can't rule it out."

"Schizophrenia." Rossi finished off Hotch's thought. Morgan's head dropped into his hands.

"Oh god," he muttered under his breath. Hotch moved over to Morgan and spoke confidently.

"We have no proof of anything yet. Just keep your eye on him, that's all. And we'll review the situation in a couple of days."

Morgan looked up at Hotch, as if to say 'is that all?'. Hotch nodded. Rossi was still watching Reid through the blinds, deep in thought. Letting out the deep breath he didn't know he'd been holding, Morgan stood and left the room, taking one last glimpse at Hotch as he did so.

"You know what you have to do if either situation arises, don't you?" Rossi spoke, the tension laced in his voice.

Hotch paused for a second, the breath catching in his throat.

"I know." He replied, solemnly. He quickly pushed the thought of losing his youngest team member out of his head and returned to his desk to finish his paper work. Soon, Rossi followed suit.

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><p>Reid glanced at the clock. 11.32am. Looking up, he saw Prentiss working hard opposite him and he could hear Morgan on the phone. He almost envied their ability to actually do their jobs to a regular human standard. Suppressing his frustrations he stood and made his way over to the coffee machine again. This was his fifth cup of the day. <em>This <em>_is__ a __personal__ record._ He thought wryly to himself.

He waited at the machine whilst it poured out some of the steaming hot liquid into his cup. He mixed in his usual mountain of sugar and returned to his desk. Sitting back down he automatically looked to his cell phone, which would normally be to the right of his keyboard. Rolling his eyes he felt his trouser pockets, then looked in his jacket pockets. Feeling his frustration increasing, he stood, pulling his satchel out from under the desk. He searched through every pocket, getting more and more tense with every failed exploration. Clenching his jaw, he pulled open each drawer on his desk, one by one, still finding nothing.

By this point, Prentiss and Morgan were looking at Reid with concerned expressions.

"You alright, Reid?" Prentiss asked. Reid pushed back the overwhelming urge to uncharacteristically swear at her.

"Just can't find something." He said, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Do you want some help?" Morgan intervened. Reid tensed.

"No, Morgan! I don't need _any_ help. Thank you. I can manage just fine by myself!" His raised voice attracted attention from quite a few members of staff, Hotch, Rossi and JJ included. Hotch peered through his blinds, careful not to distract. Rossi stood in his doorway, and JJ approached Reid from her office.

"Spence! Are you alright?" She asked, concerned.

Reid leaned onto his desk, clutching his forehead and squeezing his eyes shut. It was an act of desperate frustration.

Through gritted teeth, he replied.

"Why do people keep asking me that?"

JJ was shocked by his reaction to her, she looked to Prentiss and Morgan for support.

"Reid, maybe you'd better sit down." Morgan pressed, moving to put his hand on Reid's back.

"No!" Reid shook himself free of Morgan's grip. Making his way back to the coffee machine he was muttering to himself. "It must be over here, I left it here, I must have." When he found nothing, he took to desperately pushing cups around the kitchen work surfaces, checking the cupboards (even though he knew he hadn't opened them) and even going so far as checking the sugar bowl. The team looked to each other, deeply worried about his erratic behaviour. Hotch was just about to come out from his office to try and talk some sense into him, when Jason scooted his way over to Reid.

He grabbed his shoulder firmly.

"Spencer!" He forcefully turned him, so he was looking him directly in the face. "Spencer, look at me." He did, breathing heavily. "What the hell's going on?" He spoke quietly but firmly. "I could hear it from down the corridor."

Reid felt slightly embarrassed at this, but didn't pull himself away from his new-found friend. Sighing tiredly, he spoke.

"I've lost my cell phone."

Nodding in understanding, Jason led Reid back to his desk and sat him down. The team watched in fascination at the way Jason seemed to be able to put a lid on Reid's emotions. It was clearly a gift.

"Right, so where have you looked?"

"Everywhere Jay! There's nowhere else it could be... and I _know_ I brought it into work this morning."

Morgan intercepted.

"You're sure?"

"Yes!" Reid snapped.

Morgan held his hands up to his colleagues, surrendering. He sat down, trying to ignore the situation.

"_Where_'ve you looked?" Jason asked, calmly.

"What's going on?" Hotch interrupted, in a serious tone.

Completely ignoring his boss, Reid answered Jason.

"_Everywhere_! Like I said."

"Spencer, specifics..._specifics._"

Hotch furrowed his brows at the two men who were seemingly ignoring him.

"My desk, my bag, the kitchen, the floors, my jacket. Anywhere it could possibly be, I've looked!"

"What is it your looking for?" Hotch attempted to intervene again.

"Have you tried your pockets?" Jason continued, paying no attention to Agent Hotchner.

Reid looked at him as if he was stupid.

"My pockets?" He started unconsciously patting his trouser pockets. "Of course I've checked my-"

Reid's face dropped into complete shock. His hands shook and his heart was thumping so fast he felt like it would jump free from his chest. His right hand reached into the trouser pocket and pulled out a small cell phone, _his_ small cell phone. His face went pale. The expressions on the faces of the rest of the team were a complete mixture. Hotch's was still slightly unreadable, there was obviously a hint of concern. Rossi who was still stood by his office, finally made his way over to the railing that separates the higher level from the lower level, and listened intently. JJ just exchanged nervous glances with the other members of the team. Prentiss looked genuinely worried. But Morgan, had a mixure of all their feelings, along with the addition of feeling quite angry and frustrated that it was a man who had known Reid for just over a week who had got him to talk.

Still reeling from the shock of finding his phone in his pocket, Reid's mouth dropped open and he almost fell back into his chair. He looked exhausted. Running a hand through his hair, his gaze darted from one team member to the other, he felt the overwhelming need to explain himself.

"I.. I have no idea how that got in there. I swear to you guys, I checked my pockets. I _swear_to you!"

JJ smiled at him affectionately, however the concern was still evident.

"It's okay, Spence. Stuff like that happens."

"Not to me." Spencer answered in a weak voice.

Exhausted he dropped his head into his hands. Hotch then nodded to his colleagues to get on with their work. Hotch was a man of few words when he needed to be. However, Jason stayed, just for support.

"Reid, my office, now." It wasn't a request.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the great reviews so far. There is a little bit of physical violence in this chapter, so if that bothers you, please do not read! But it will get much worse in later chapters ;) hint hint. Please keep reading and reviewing! If you like/don't like please tell me! R&Ring makes me an extremely happy bunny. Hope you enjoy, thanks again!**

"Reid." Hotch sat on the opposite side of his desk from colleague. His gaze was searching but remained stern. "What's going on?"

Reid looked at his boss, a fake look of confusion flooded his face. Shaking his head, he denied all knowledge.

"Nothing – I- I don't know what you mean." He smiled slightly, trying to reassure Hotch, but he was having none of it.

"Reid, I want to remind you before you answer again, that I am your _boss_ and if there is something that is troubling you then I need to know. Not just for your own safety, but for the safety of the team. So I'll ask again – what's going on?" His voice was firm and his gaze was fixed hard on the young man.

Reid shifted his weight uncomfortably, feeling under scrutiny. For a few moments he didn't answer, considering his options. Taking a deep breath, he prepared to answer.

"I really don't know what you're talking about." He replied with a slightly cocky tone, obviously intended to irritate Hotch, hopefully enough to make him angry rather than protective.

Hotch stared deep into Reid's eyes, imploring him to say a little more. But he didn't. Sighing, Hotch pushed himself into the back of his chair.

"Take an early lunch." He said, coolly. "I don't want to see you back here 'til 1pm. Do I make myself clear?"

Reid's brows furrowed at the idea of being kicked out of work for an extra half hour. What was he going to do with himself for an hour and a half? Those worries soon passed however, when he realised that Hotch hadn't pushed the subject any further.

"Yes, sir." Reid replied obediently. He stood up and left the office.

The whole team, now including Garcia, were sat around the desks talking in muted tones to each other. It was clearly about Reid. When he emerged from Hotch's office they suddenly went silent and watched him come back. He walked in a hurry over to his desk, feeling more than a little self-conscious. He started packing up his belongings into his satchel.

At this Garcia assumed the worst.

"Reid, what are you doing?" She asked tentatively. Reid shrugged his shoulders in a defensive manner.

"Taking a long lunch." He looked up at her. "Hotch's idea."

Garcia was surprised to see how tired Reid looked. She just wanted to go and give him one of her best hugs. She softened her voice and reached out to her troubled colleague.

"Reid-"

"Spencer!" Jason cut in confidently. Garcia looked over to him in surprise, slightly irritated by his intrusion. She looked to Morgan who made a face as if to say, 'here we go again'. He had obviously mentioned Jason's presence in the previous conversation. "Where you going, man?"

Reid started to look a little less awkward.

"Early lunch." He replied simply and moved to leave the office. Jason grabbed him by the arm, stopping him in his tracks.

"I'll come with you. I'm taking a break now as it is. I'll come with you for twenty minutes."

Reid tried to shrug his arm off but couldn't.

"It's okay, there's no need." She said gently.

"It's no trouble, Spencer. Honestly. I'm going out anyway, so we may as well go together!"

A genuine smile came to Reid's face.

"Yeah, alright. I suppose a bit of company won't do any harm." Reid turned to leave, when a thought suddenly crossed his mind. "But isn't your team in the middle of that local serial killer case." Jason smiled in response.

"We were, but he was taken into custody in the last hour. The local police actually managed to bring the guy in. Discovered him completely by accident, of course. But it doesn't matter how it happens, does it really." Reid just gently shook his head. "Anyway, come on, twenty minutes and the clock is ticking."

Jason walked out of the bull pen and through the glass doors, Reid followed him. Soon they were both out of sight from the team.

"Well he obviously has more trust for that Jason guy than he does for us." JJ said, irritated.

"I told you." Morgan replied, "he won't talk to us."

"Well, if he won't talk to us, but he's talking to Jason, shouldn't we talk to Jason?" Prentiss suggested.

"But if Reid finds out we've been asking about him, is that not going to make things worse?" JJ looked concerned.

"Jason wouldn't say anything to him." Garcia assured them. "He's not like that, he's trustworthy."

Prentiss looked to Rossi, who hadn't said a word yet. His mind was obviously elsewhere.

"Dave, you okay?" She prodded. The rest of the team now looked to him.

"Some thing's bothering me." His brows were furrowed with worry. "I don't know what it is, but some thing's not right."

"None of this is right, Rossi." Morgan quipped. "Reid seems to be losing his mind!"

"Morgan!" Garcia warned him.

"Sorry baby girl, but we can't ignore this. He's clearly not well." Morgan simply stated.

The team all went silent, clearly deep in their own thoughts. Eventually a depressed Garcia walked back to her office. Saying nothing further, slowly the team started working again.

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><p>It was 12.50pm and the team were eating at their desks. Suddenly SSA Michael Lewis ran through into Hotch's office. Something was clearly going on.<p>

The interests of the team were suddenly focused on what was happening. Hotch then emerged from his office followed by Agent Lewis, there was a slight look of panic about his face. He knocked on Rossi's door and walked in. Soon Rossi was emerging from his office too. Hotch then carried on going around all of the offices, each time he spoke, the person inside emerged from their office. Some went straight towards the glass doors and out of the BAU offices entirely.

Rossi was the first to come over to the team.

"What the hell's going on?" Morgan looked around, deeply concerned.

"Lewis' team have reason to believe that the guy they arrested for those 7 murders has two brothers who are gonna be seriously pissed off."

"And?" Prentiss pressed, still not quite understanding.

"They believe that they are gonna come here. Demanding to have their brother back."

"They are dependant on him." Morgan thought aloud. Rossi nodded.

"Apparently so." Rossi said with slight humour in his voice. "They are evacuating the BAU. Anyone without a weapon must leave immediately."

At this moment, they saw Garcia worriedly leaving the offices, looking back at the team. She had that concerned look she always had when she thought she might never see them again. Morgan nodded to her, conveying the message 'it'll be okay'. For the next couple of minutes, the BAU was efficiently cleared of vulnerable people.

The offices were almost completely evacuated when the sound of gunshots resonated through the bull pen. The team all of a sudden found themselves in a line, Hotch and JJ included. Each one of them pointing their guns in the direction of the door.

"They've got an automatic." Hotch said.

Looking around Morgan could see that the only people left were his team and Lewis'. It concerned him to see that Jason, along with two others, was just heading for the doors when the gunshots were fired. He had no choice but to stay, unarmed. He felt sorry for the man, he knew how scared Garcia would be if she were here.

Morgan's attentions were then drawn back to the glass doors, where a tall, large man was now stood. An automatic gun in his hands.

He kicked the glass door open, and confidently walked through, seemingly unfazed by the numerous guns pointing in his direction.

"Drop the weapon John, or we will be forced to shoot you." SSA Michael Lewis spoke.

John merely laughed.

"Try it." He smirked. "Is losing one of your agents is worth it?"

Lewis' was confused, he looked to Hotch.

"Put the weapon down, John. And nobody will get hurt." Hotch spoke calmly.

"Other than your agent." He retorted.

Confusion danced in Hotch's eyes for a few moments, then it was gone.

"You have one of our agents." He simply stated.

"That's very astute of you." John replied, mocking Hotch.

"Then show them to us." Rossi chipped in. John smiled.

"Why? Where's the fun in that?"

"He's bluffing Hotch." Morgan turned to his boss, trying to reason with him.

"Is that a risk you're really willing to take?" John said, directing the question at Hotch. "If you're wrong, you might have killed one of your agents. Do you think you can live with that?"

Hotch stared hard at the man. Morgan was turned towards him, desperately pleading Hotch not to believe John.

Coming to a decision, Hotch let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. He lowered his weapon.

Morgan tried to reason with him.

"Hotch.. no." He spoke under his breath.

"Lower your weapons." He spoke in a commanding tone. "Now." He pointed that directly at Morgan.

Prentiss, JJ and Rossi all lowered their weapons without question, as did Lewis and his team. Although they didn't feel it was the right decision. Morgan still had his pointed at John.

"Morgan, lower your weapon." Hotch said again, strongly.

Feeling the frustration mounting up inside him, Morgan desperately wanted to shoot the man. But eventually common sense got the better of him. He didn't want another agent's life on his conscience. He finally lowered his weapon.

"Common sense prevails." John mocked.

"Blondie," he said to JJ, "collect in all the weapons and bring them over here." He pointed to the desk closest to him.

JJ's irritation was clearly evident. She took a couple of seconds to actually start moving, she went to Lewis' team first, then collected the guns from her own team. She moved towards John and placed them where he requested.

"There." She said shortly.

"Good girl." John said in a patronising tone.

Suddenly Rossi stepped forward, John moved his aim straight towards him.

"You won't get your brother back this way, John." He spoke, calmly but firmly. "At least let the ladies go." JJ and Prentiss looked to Rossi, annoyed that he would consider them to be too delicate to be in this situation.

"Oh, I think if an agent's life depends on it, giving my brother back must be your only option."

"Do you really think you're going to get out of an FBI building unscathed?"

"We will get our brother back or we will die trying!" John shouted, clearly angered now.

"Okay." Rossi did not rise to the anger, instead he waited for John to speak again, hoping to lead him down an emotional path. The man was clearly driven by his emotions, all Rossi needed was to channel his emotions in the right way. He hoped those very emotions that drove him to help his brother would be the same emotions that would eventually turn him against him.

After a minute of angry thoughts, John was just about to speak when Rossi spotted the elevator doors open.

Reid emerged from the elevator, cup of coffee in hand. As he approached the glass doors he stopped dead in his tracks. All he could see was a tall, well-built man pointing an automatic gun at all of his BAU colleagues. Within a split second, Reid dropped his coffee and went for his own gun. His right hand desperately felt around for the weapon, looking down at his belt, he saw nothing. Now he had lost his gun.

Cursing inwardly, Reid could see Rossi and Hotch's slightly frustrated expressions through the door. Their eyes were asking him a question he couldn't answer. _'Where__ the__ hell__ is __it?'_ Reid's heart was beating so fast and heavily, he could feel it in his throat. He swallowed back the panic. He had only been stood there a few seconds when he was suddenly tackled from behind. The attack knocked the wind out of him and he struggled to breathe on the floor. The second brother kicked Reid in the stomach twice. He doubled over in pain. The brother then had hold of his hair and forced him to his feet. The man was a lot bigger than Reid, much like the other man with the automatic weapon, so when he wrapped a muscular arm around his neck and put a pistol to his cheek, Reid knew he hadn't a chance.

For a split second, Reid caught the horrified glances of his co-workers, who had obviously had to surrender their weapons to the man with the automatic. Reid's captor pushed him through the glass doors and into the bull pen. Turning his head to look, safe in the knowledge that no-one was armed, the man holding the automatic lowered his weapon and laughed.

"Well this just makes things even easier, doesn't it?" Reid's hands were held out to show he wasn't armed. The now unarmed brother patted him up and down to search for a weapon. Reid jumped uncomfortably at the touch. Satisfied that Reid wasn't hiding anything, the John turned to his captive audience. "I think we'll be having our brother now." He smiled.

"You know that's something we cannot do." Spoke Rossi, calmly and fairly. His face conveyed no hint of panic, even though the blood was pumping through his body at a ridiculous speed. "Your brother killed 7 women. We have ways of doing things. We can't just release him without any clearance. You know that, John."

John frowned, that was not what he wanted to hear. He picked up his gun slowly and carefully, pausing for a couple of seconds to compose himself. Turning around quickly, he swung the butt of his gun into Reid's face. It connected hard with his cheekbone. The force behind the hit made Reid nauseous and dizzy. His legs gave way for a few moments but he was pulled back up by the arm around his neck. His hands came up to clutch the arm to help steady himself.

John circled his accomplice and Reid. He grabbed hold of Reid's hair and yanked his head to the side. Reid breathed in sharply. Morgan's eyes burned a cold fury, he eyed the men dangerously.

"You see this?" John spoke, then grabbing Reid by the face. "_This,_ is your clearance." The pistol was still pointing at Reid but had now moved down to his neck. Reid looked desperately to his team, not knowing what to do. JJ's eyes were wide open, she looked angry but was evidently trying her best to stay calm. Prentiss looked concerned, but on the whole, coped with these sort of situations very well. Reid knew there was no way she would have been able to undertake the level of the undercover operation she was involved in, without that ability to stay calm. Morgan's eyes were burning hatred, his protective side strongly kicking in. Hotch just looked unhappy, but Hotch always looked unhappy. But Reid could see a flash of worry there too. He could also see Jason, he had his arms crossed tightly in front of him, he was obviously nervous. Reid felt a little sorry for him, as he would clearly have never been involved in something like this before.

Jason's boss, SSA Michael Lewis stepped forward slightly, gaining the attention of John. Rossi eyed him carefully, obviously concerned about what he might say.

"Look, that kid has nothing to do with this. He isn't even a part of our team. It's us you should be dealing with!" He gestured to his team who had clearly been working the case that they all kept referring to. "Let him go, and we will talk."

Rossi looked to Reid, worried. It was clear he wanted to deal with this situation himself, there was a reason why Rossi was their 'go to' negotiator.

Squeezing Reid's face even harder, John turned his face to meet his.

"I think someone hasn't been listening Agent..." John paused, reaching his hand down to Spencer's belt, he pulled off his ID badge. Spencer jumped at the touch. "_Doctor_ Reid. It seems he thinks he is pulling the strings. What do you think?" He finally let go of Reid's face. The other man's gun was still at his neck, but the arm accompanying it loosened it's grip and allowed Reid to stand freely. His hands were shaking despite his best attempts to hide it, his eyes were wide and careful. The sight made Morgan more frustrated. _How __could__ people__ do __this __to__ someone __like __Reid?__ He's __so __harmless_.

Rossi was willing him not to answer.

Reid was just about to open his mouth to speak when he was cut off with a sickening blow to the side of the head. The man who had been holding him was now attacking him, and John's automatic weapon was once again trained on the onlookers. Reid fell limply down to the floor, he tried to crawl away but the man kept kicking him. Loud moans came out of Reid for the first couple of kicks, but by the sixth, he was just desperately gasping for breath. The man then stopped.

"You feel like you're in control now?" The attacker shouted loudly. He gave another kick to Reid's stomach to punctuate the question.

JJ was now covering her mouth in shock. She looked away, desperately trying not to cry. Agent Lewis was gritting his teeth in anger.

"You bastards." He responded.

Rossi quickly interjected.

"We know you're the ones in control right now." He spoke calmly, "but you have gotta remember where you are... You are in a government building surrounded by FBI agents, you are _attacking _an _FBI_ agent. Is your brother really worth that, Christopher?"

Christopher's gaze faltered for a moment. It was clear he wasn't the one in control. The reality of the situation had just sunk in. John however, still held his automatic weapon up proudly at the office full of agents.

"Our brother is worth a thousand of your lot." He almost spat out the words. "Now _bring __him __out._" John said, dangerously.

"Why are you here, John? After the way he has treated you?... Since you were little, he has always told you what to do, hasn't he? Called you names... made you feel inferior." John gripped his gun tighter. "Told you that if you helped him out, he would help you out... How many times has he promised you something and never done it?"

Christopher was listening to Rossi intently, obviously agreeing with most of what he was saying, as if it was his first realisation. Feeling this, John snapped him out of it.

"Don't fucking listen to him, Chris! He's trying to turn us against him! You know what you have to do!"

Chris looked at John in frustration and confusion and then looked to Reid on the floor. Making the decision, he threw himself on top of Reid, straddling his hips. Reid tried to buck in sheer panic. For his troubles he was punched hard in the face three times. His lip was split and blood trickled from his mouth. Rossi kept calmly talking.

"You can do this today and get him out of here. But what happens the next time? The next time he hits one of you, the next time he makes you feel worthless? And you have given your freedom up for him?" Chris once again faltered, his hand was tangled in Reid's hair. Reid opened his eyes, surprised another hit wasn't raining down on him. "Will he thank you? Will he show you the respect that you have both so desired from him?... Or will he do what he always does, and take you for granted?"

John was now extremely stressed, his hands were shaking as he gripped his weapon tighter.

"Shut up, shut up, _shut __up_!" He cried desperately. Rossi continued.

"You are stronger than he is, John. You have known that all along, you should be the one in control now. It's your chance. The chance you have always wanted. You are about to throw it all away, for what? A man who can barely look at you? Never mind acknowledge you as his brother."

"That's not true." John muttered, not sure who he was trying to convince.

Everyone in the room could feel the tension building, something was going to happen, one way or the other.

Reid looked to Chris who was sat on top of him and still had his hand resting in his hair and saw his chance to catch him off guard. Using all of his strength, which wasn't much, he quickly forced himself into a sitting position and grabbed the man around the throat, trying desperately to gain the advantage by rolling him over to reverse their positions. Chris let out a startled shout as he was grabbed and rolled onto his side. Reid couldn't quite get the leverage he needed to get on top of the man, but he kept his grip firm, around his neck. In this moment, John lost concentration and turned slightly to see what was happening. This was all the time Hotch needed. He quickly grabbed his gun from his ankle holster and fired, catching John in chest. Chris froze in shock, seeing his brother fall to the floor. Furious, he kicked out at Reid who consequently let go of his grip around his neck. He pushed his weight on top of Reid. Desperately trying to reach the automatic gun. Reid did his best to pull him back. Chris' fingers just reached the weapon...

Morgan's boot covered foot stomped on the man's hand and he yelped in pain. Suddenly two agents were on Chris and pulled him up to a standing position, handcuffing him.

"No!" He shouted. "No, you can't take him away from me!" Chris fought the agents, trying to reach his brother who was being checked for a pulse.

Pausing for a couple of seconds, Chris heard the words 'He's gone.'

"No!" He screamed at the top of his voice. "You bastards!" He tried pulling away from the agents holding him but to no avail, they were walking him out of the bull pen. His final stare landed upon Reid, but he wasn't looking. Chris was then pulled through the door and out of sight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews. Really glad you're enjoying the story. With reference to the question about the M rating, it is in relation to Reid whump, NOT slash. I don't mind slash, but I don't write slash. So there will be some serious whumpage!**

**Anyway, Reid is a bit out of character in this chapter, but that's kind of the point :) Hope you enjoy and can't guess where this is going ;) x**

Reid had propped himself up against a filing cabinet, his arms were wrapped tightly around his midsection. His hair fell forwards into his eyes and blood dripped down onto his clothing.

Hotch knelt down beside him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You alright?" He asked kindly.

Reid looked up at him, Hotch could see his hands were still shaking slightly. The pain in Reid's eyes was evident.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He looked down, embarrassed.

Hotch knew why, Reid should have had his gun. But now wasn't the time for that discussion. First and foremost he needed medical help.

"Oh my god, Reid. Are you okay?" JJ rushed up to his other side, brushing the hair out of his face.

"I'm fine, JJ. I'm fine." He reassured her.

"Can you stand?" Hotch asked, moving to help him up.

"Yeah. I think so." Reid's voice was tight, his breath hadn't quite yet recovered.

JJ took one arm and Hotch the other, they slowly helped him to his feet. Reid hissed in pain as he straightened up. Most of the pain was coming from his head, his headache had not been helped by the numerous blows to his skull.

"Alright?" Morgan approached, looking for some way he could help. Hotch nodded in response. "I'll call an ambulance." He said, decisively.

"No, Morgan, no. Don't do that. I'll be fine." Reid spoke breathlessly.

"You don't look it, kid." Morgan argued.

"I just need a sit down, nothing's broken. I know that much." Reid moved to the nearest chair, with the help of Hotch and JJ. "I'll be okay." He sat down.

"Reid, I think you should at least be checked out." Hotch ordered.

"We have medics in the building." Reid pointed out. "Send one of them. I really don't want to waste an E.R.'s time."

Morgan looked to Hotch, hoping he would talk some sense into Reid. But Hotch merely nodded.

"Get a medic." He directed to Morgan.

"I'm not happy about this." Morgan stated, standing for a few moments more, awaiting a reponse. When he received none, he reluctantly left.

"Can I get you anything, Reid?" Prentiss questioned.

"Cup of coffee would be nice." Reid quipped.

"Was that a joke?" Smiled Prentiss to JJ and Hotch.

"No." Reid replied, quite seriously.

"Oh." Prentiss looked to JJ, slightly confused. "Cup of coffee it is then, Dr Reid."

Seeing that Reid's appearance was marginally improving, Hotch left his side to speak to SSA Lewis regarding the whole situation. Lewis was quite evidently stressed by the experience, and clearly felt very guilty about Reid's involvement in the whole thing.

Seeing an open space, Jason made a move next to Reid.

"Spencer! Are you alright?" He raced up to Reid's side and put a hand on his shoulder. Reid simply nodded, sick of telling people that he was 'fine'. "I've never seen anything like that." He spoke, sounding slightly disturbed. "I can't believe how nasty people can be... Are you sure you're alright?" This time he waited for a verbal response.

"Yeah." Replied Spencer. "Are you?"

Taken aback by the question, Jason looked quite touched.

"Yeah, Spence. I'm fine thank you." JJ glanced up at Jason, surprised to hear him using her term of endearment. "I'm so glad you're okay. I almost thought they were gonna kill you at one point." Jason appeared genuinely concerned, Reid suddenly felt very glad that Jason was a good friend now. He smiled, mostly to himself and Jason squeezed his shoulder supportively.

JJ couldn't help but feel slightly put out. Although she was pleased that Reid had finally found a good friend, sharing him with someone else was not something she, or the rest of the team, were used to. Pushing the selfish thoughts aside, she moved out of the way as the medics swept in to deal with Reid's injuries. She watched Reid flinch and pull faces as they poked and prodded at him, checking for any serious injuries. Finding none, they cleaned up the cuts on his face, lectured him about staying out of any physical activity for a few days and then let him be.

Hotch moved in as he saw them leaving, Rossi and Morgan listened in.

"How is he?" He asked, clearly concerned.

"He's fine." Replied the older medic. "He is very bruised and will be sore for a couple of days, particularly on his right cheekbone, but there are no serious injuries. Nothing that requires further medical attention. We have cleaned up his wounds. Our biggest concern was concussion, but his pupils seems to be responding appropriately to stimuli and he doesn't mention any headaches, so it's just a case of doing nothing strenuous for the next few days. We've done all we can."

"Thank you." Hotch nodded. He moved straight over to where Reid was sitting. "Can you stand?"

Reid looked up at him, his brows furrowed.

"Yeah. I feel much better now I've got my breath back." Reid smiled, it didn't reach his eyes.

"Good... come with me please." Hotch asked gently, although it was an order. He reached his hand out to help Reid up, but he dismissed it.

"I'm okay." Slight irritation came through in Reid's voice and he automatically looked sheepish. Standing up to full height suddenly made his head spin and a pain shot right across the front of his eyes.

Morgan stepped forwards grabbing Reid's arm. Suddenly Jason's voice cut in.

"He's okay Agent Morgan. He can manage." Morgan turned to give Jason a dirty look, but the man's gaze was completely fixed on Reid. He was obviously deeply concerned about him. Morgan then felt slightly bad, it wasn't Jason's fault in the end. He was just doing what he thought was best. He could relate to that.

"Thanks, Jay." Reid said once he had gathered his thoughts together. Then he proceeded to follow Hotch into his office for the second time that day. As he walked, he felt his head clearing slightly. It felt a bit better.

Before he knew it, he was in Hotch's office and the door was closed.

"Sit down, Reid." Hotch's tone was serious.

Reid shifted nervously.

"Mmm... okay." He winced slightly as he did so.

"What happened in there?" Hotch asked plainly.

Reid looked at him, genuinely confused.

"Mmm... I- I don't really... know what you mean." He shook his head.

Hotch leaned towards him, slightly across his desk. Reid then knew this was serious. He reflexively leaned further back into his chair, increasing the distance between them.

"Your gun, Reid. What were you doing without your gun?"

Reid looked at him shocked, suddenly having a flashback to when he reached down to find his holster empty. He found himself stuttering.

"I... I-I don't, I don't know." Panic was laced in his voice and was quickly reaching his eyes. He was desperately searching his mind for the answer to the question.

"You don't know?" Hotch asked, dryly.

Reid's mouth hung open in disbelief, it just didn't make sense. Where was his gun?

"I- I had it! I had it, Hotch. I had it! I know I had it." He rambled on like a man obsessed. At this Hotch looked fairly worried. "It just doesn't make sense. I _definitely_ had it."

"Well, Reid. You've got to understand, something like this... it doesn't look good."

Reid was shaking his head, clearly blocking out what his boss was saying to him. He talked over him.

"I never take it off, not at work. Never!"

Hotch tried to continue.

"You have to understand that as FBI agents we have a certain level of security that we have to maintain-"

"I don't understand where it's gone." Reid cut in rudely.

"- and being in such a state where you are capable of losing your gun is compromising that security."

"It doesn't make sense at all!" Reid was getting more frustrated and loud. "It was right here!" He desperately pulled his holster off and threw it down on Hotch's desk.

"Reid." Hotch warned him, sternly.

"You don't believe me." Reid stared wide eyed at Hotch, confrontationally. Hotch was feeling slight anger now.

"I don't know what to believe, Reid. You come into work at the moment and you might as well not be here. You're moody, you're not focused, you're losing things. Quite honestly, you are becoming a liability." Reid shook his head in shock. "I don't know what's going on with you, but you cannot continue-"

"It. Was. Right. Here. Hotch!" He stood up grabbing the holster again, waving it in Hotch's face. "Right _here_!" In the spur of the moment, he threw it in Hotch's face and headed straight for the doorway.

"REID!" Hotch shouted, seriously annoyed now.

Reid defiantly kept on walking, by now the whole office was watching. He quickly went up to his desk and desperately started looking through his belongings as he had done earlier. He tipped out his entire bag, pulled out drawers from his desk, some of which he emptied onto the floor. He moved all of the items around on his desk, desperately looking for his gun.

"Reid!" Hotch tried to get through to him.

"I had it Hotch!" He shouted, not looking at his boss.

The rest of the team looked on, horrified.

"What the hell's goin' on now?" Asked Morgan, glancing to Hotch.

Emily moved to grab Reid's arm.

"Reid! Calm down." She had him by the forearm. He froze and stared her directly in the eye. She spoke calmly. "I will help you find whatever it is you're looking for."

Reid stared deep into her eyes for a few moments. Then realisation dawned on him.

"Of course. Yeah, course you will." She furrowed her brows at this. Pulling her away from her desk, he charged past her and started frantically opening all of her desk drawers. "Where have you put it, Emily? Where is it?"

Prentiss stared in shock, looking desperately to Morgan and Hotch who moved in to take Reid by the arms.

"Reid, you gotta calm down, man!" Morgan pleaded.

"Reid. Let go." He was clinging on to Emily's desk.

He suddenly released his grip and held his hands up in surrender.

"Fine!" He said panting. "Fine. You win." His breath was coming heavily.

"What was that, kid?" Morgan asked, deeply worried about the younger man. The man he treated like a brother.

He and Hotch let go of Reid's arms. Satisfied that he was calmer.

Reid automatically moved away from them. The two men were surprised at how unconcerned Reid seemed to be about the attention he was drawing.

"I- It was nothing... Just a prank." Hotch rolled his eyes, angry. He knew Reid wasn't telling the truth.

"A prank? Reid, what the hell?" Morgan said frustrated.

"Well, yeah. Yeah, a prank. Those things you like so much. You know... a mischievous trick or joke, or at least that's it's official definition. But I think, Morgan-" He was speaking like he was building up to a big revelation. "I think you, like to practise in deceit from time to time too." Reid's eyes were wild. "I think you can't take it when somebody gets their own back on you, so you have to go that step further and make someone think that they are going a little crazy!" Morgan stared at Reid in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Prentiss and Rossi exchanged confused and worried glances.

"Reid, that's enough" Hotch ordered.

Reid looked to Hotch, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his eyes for a moment before the madness was back.

He stared at Hotch for a few moments longer and then turned suddenly, towards Morgan's desk and started pulling it apart. He tried the top two drawers, throwing pictures of Morgan's family all over the place. The next two had files and stationery.

"What the hell do you think you're doin'?" Morgan ploughed up behind Reid, trying to pull him back by the shoulders, but Reid seemed to have an inexplicable strength. Must have been from the sheer panic. Desperate, Morgan wrapped his arm around Reid's neck and captured his left arm in the lock behind his back. Reid let out a yelp as his already punished body was forced into the uncomfortable position. As Morgan pulled him back, there were gasps around the room. Confused Morgan looked to Rossi who had a look of pure shock on his face.

"Er, Morgan." Was all he said. He motioned towards Reid's right hand.

Releasing the younger man, he looked to where everyone's gaze seemed to be focused. Reid's right hand – complete with his pistol, seemingly retrieved from Morgan's bottom drawer.

All he could do was stare in disbelief.


	5. Chapter 5

**This is like an epic chapter. Hope you enjoy, it is a nice loooong one. The next chapter will take the story up to an M rating most likely. And when I say Reid whump is coming, I mean Reid whump is coming (no, not like the soft, fluffy stuff in chapters 3 or 4 ;) )**

**Thank you so much for the lovely reviews, please keep them coming! x**

Morgan stood unmoving, completely in shock. The team stared at Morgan, torn between disbelief and disgust. Reid was just staring at the gun he had dropped onto the desk, Morgan's arm still wrapped loosely around his neck.

Reid shook himself free of the older man's grip, lightly pushing him backwards. He collapsed into Morgan's chair. He couldn't stop staring at the gun. Finally he shook his head, bringing himself out of the trance. He still didn't look at Morgan.

"How could you?" He asked, voice shaking.

Desperately, Morgan stepped forwards.

"Reid, I swear. I didn't." He darted his gaze to Hotch and Rossi hoping for support. He received little. "You can't seriously believe I would do this to you Reid? After how upset you've been about losing stuff. Honestly?"

"Bet that was all part of your plan." Reid said, hopelessly. "Make me think I'm going mad."

"Reid-" Morgan tried to cut in, reaching to Reid's shoulder.

Reid flipped, standing up so fast he felt like his head was going to explode, he picked up his gun and reflexively put it his pocket.

"Get off me!" He squared up to Morgan, who surprisingly, took a step back. His eyes were wide with the fear that he might lose his friend. "Well done, Morgan. You well and truly win this round. I'm exhausted." He whispered, the last bit, tears gathering slightly in his eyes. He looked as though he was going to say something else, then gave up. Letting out a sigh, he dropped his gaze and walked around Morgan. He then collapsed back into his own chair, dropping his head into his hands as the pain from his head radiated behind the eyes.

Morgan was stood in devastated shock. He didn't know what to say. The rest of the team eyed each other, unsure how to proceed. Rossi approached Reid.

"Reid," he put a hand on his back. "You can go in my office for a while. Have a lie down on the couch. I'll close the blinds." Reid didn't argue. He allowed Rossi to lead him up the stairs and into the relaxing office. The team watched as Rossi closed the blinds and then the door as he exited the space. He nodded to Hotch that all was clear.

"Right, everyone in the conference room now. Get JJ and Garcia." Hotch spoke firmly. He didn't look at Morgan, nor did anyone else. Although other staff whispered about him as he moved through the bullpen, he could hardly care. The fact that Reid could believe he would do such a thing had deeply upset him. He wanted desperately to explain his lack of involvement but the words wouldn't come out. He had never found himself in a position where he had been accused of something so serious by such a close friend. The whole situation had shocked him to the core. And now he was going to have to defend himself in front of his trusted colleagues. He followed them quietly into the room.

* * *

><p>"The gun was in your drawer?" JJ asked, shocked.<p>

Morgan held his head in his hands. He didn't respond.

"Tell me this is not happening." Garcia muttered, extremely worried.

"What was it doing in there?" JJ asked again.

"That's enough." Hotch ordered. "Now everybody sit down." Those who were stood obeyed silently. Hotch lifted his gaze to Morgan who was across the table from him. "Derek, what's going on?"

Waiting to see if anyone was going to interrupt, Morgan lifted his head and quickly glanced around. He was met with silence. He finally felt able to speak.

"I don't know, Hotch. I honestly don't." He said calmly and rationally.

"How did Reid's gun get into your desk drawer?" Hotch asked, equally calmly.

"Search me, man. I dunno!" Morgan was clearly confused, innocence was written all over his face. "The only thing I know, is that it damn sure wasn't me who put it there."

Hotch stared searchingly at Morgan for a few moments. Coming to a realisation, he looked to the rest of the team.

"Right, then we have a big problem."

"Either someone is doing this to him or..." Prentiss paused not wanting to finish that sentence.

"He's doing it to himself." Rossi understood where she was going.

Garcia looked to Rossi, confused.

"What do you mean 'he's doing it to himself'? How would that work?"

"Baby girl, if Reid is suffering a psychological break, he may be doing things without actually realising it."

"Like planting a phone in your drawer? That seems pretty calculated for someone suffering a psychological break, doesn't it?" JJ questioned. Hotch turned to her.

"Yes. But just because he might be doing these things, it doesn't mean that there is any rationale behind them."

"No, but he would have to get by Morgan's desk without anyone noticing him going in there." Prentiss added.

"This is where it starts to get confusing." Morgan admitted. "I've barely been away from my desk today. I mean, Reid's been near it but not long enough to dispense a gun into my bottom drawer."

"But how long would it take someone like Reid to do that, Morgan? Realistically?" Rossi questioned. He continued, "I've seen guys standing in full view of another person, stealing the ties from around their necks in mid-conversation."

"You're thinking sleight of hand?" Prentiss looked to him.

"It's a possibility." Hotch added.

"But again, that would require a certain level of premeditation. We know Reid would never do that with a healthy mind, but with an unhealthy mind wouldn't that kind of organised thinking be just too... organised?"

"Organisation and psychological breaks are often mutually exclusive." Rossi added, justifying what Morgan had just said.

"Okay, well ignoring his behaviour today, has he been showing any other signs of a psychological break?" Hotch asked.

"He's been pretty moody the last few weeks." JJ admitted. "But then, I would be if I were going through what he's going through."

"Okay, what else?"

"He's less organised, less focused." Morgan added. "His desk has been a mess for 5 days now. And this morning he was reading the same file for 15 minutes."

"Really?" Garcia looked up, concerned. "My poor baby." She whispered.

"Anything else?" Hotch kept probing. Prentiss shifted uncomfortably, drawing Hotch's attention. "Something to add, Emily?"

Taking a deep breath and then sighing, she looked torn as to whether to release the information.

"Mm... Before I... went off... for those months. Reid told me that he had been suffering from severe headaches. He said he had been to a few doctors and none of them could tell him what it was."

JJ opened her mouth in shock.

"He kept _that_ from us?"

"He said you guys would only worry. He didn't want to be... treated like a baby." Prentiss thought about what the future would hold for Reid if he was indeed, mentally ill. It would be his worst nightmare come true. "If he is suffering from a psychological break of some form, then it's no wonder he reacted as violently as he did. He is probably terrified."

"He's going through hell right now." Morgan stated.

"I've got to say, it's not looking good." Hotch summed up. "All of these behaviours and symptoms are consistent with Schizophrenia. In which case, he wouldn't need an initial reason for putting his gun in your drawer. All he would need is enough of a suggestion from his subconscious that the gun is in your drawer, fuelled by the earlier dissociative state he was in when he actually planted the gun on you to actually accuse you."

"You mean that he doesn't remember putting the gun in the drawer, but his subconscious does and when his paranoia takes over, his brain tells him the gun is in a drawer, so he accuses someone?" JJ's brows were furrowed with confusion.

"It's possible." Answered Rossi. "Although, I would quite like to speak to his new friend. Is it just me, or is something not right about him?"

Garcia quickly turned to Rossi.

"Who? ….Jason?... He wouldn't have anything to do with this, Agent Rossi. He's a good man. He looks out for Reid. He wouldn't hurt him."

"I'm not saying he would. I'm just saying I'd like to speak with him."

"Why am I here?" Jason shifted awkwardly in his chair, feeling incredibly uncomfortable under the scrutinising gaze of Reid's work colleagues.

"I think you know." Rossi said, a hint of accusation in his voice.

Jason darted his gaze around the room conference room. Biting his lip, he tried he steady his nerves.

"Is this about Spencer?" He questioned, his voice shaking slightly.

"Yes." Hotch answered simply. "How has he been behaving around you?"

Taking a deep breath, Jason didn't look happy to be sharing this information.

"He hasn't been great. But I don't know him all that well. I just took him for being quirky."

"What kind of quirky?" Asked Morgan.

"What kind of quirky?" Jason repeated it back in confusion.

"What was he doing to make you think he was quirky?" Morgan rephrased.

"Oh... well... uh, everything about him is quirky." Jason replied with a smile.

"That's true." Garcia mouthed under her breath.

"But I suppose he's been losing things, but you guys know all about that... he's having dreadful headaches too though. He told me none of you knew about that."

"He told me." Prentiss chipped in. Jason frowned slightly.

"He did?" Prentiss nodded. "Oh. Well, I guess that's all I can tell you. I mean, I'm assuming you know about his mother and her situation."

"We do." Hotch replied.

"Well there's not much more I can say really." Jason smiled.

"Why is it that he trusts you so much?" Rossi asked, forcefully.

Slightly taken aback, Jason took a few moments to respond.

"I don't know. We're friends. We just kind of... clicked." Jason spoke carefully, nerves were evident in his voice. "Why does anyone trust people they are close to? I dunno, I guess that's something you gotta ask him."

Hotch's phone rang. He cancelled it.

"If there is anything else at all you can think of that might help us get to the bottom of this, then we'd be grateful if you could have a quick think." Prentiss suggested.

Hotch's phone rang again, and again he cancelled it.

"I really don't think there is anything."

"Are you quite sure about that, Jason?" Rossi eyed him carefully. Jason nodded, slightly scared.

"What are you saying, Dave?" Morgan asked.

"I'm just testing out a theory. I put it to you, Jason, that you, for whatever reason, are making Reid think that he is losing his mind."

Jason's mouth dropped open in complete shock.

"You can't be serious." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Dave, you've got no proof of that." Hotch warned him.

Hotch's phone rang again. He looked at the screen, irritated.

"Sorry." He apologised as he went to answer. The room settled into an uncomfortable silence. "Agent Hotchner..." He looked confused as the voice on the end of the phone answered him. He put his cell on loud speaker so all could hear. "Sorry, where did you say you were calling from again?"

The lady on the end of the phone was quite friendly, sounded to be older.

"Bennington Sanitarium in Las Vegas, sir." The team all exchanged perplexed glances. "Are you Dr. Spencer Reid's boss?"

"Yes, I am." Hotch replied. Too confused to ask questions.

"Excellent. Could you please pass a message on to Dr. Reid?"

"Yes, of course... But have you not tried contacting him directly?" Hotch furrowed his brows.

"Yes. I have rang him on numerous occasions over the last three days. I have yet to come into contact with him. But I was given your name as a back-up in case I couldn't get through."

"Right... would you like to speak with him?"

"Oh, well, yes. That would be much better!" The lady sounded relieved to have finally gotten somewhere. Hotch nodded to Rossi to fetch Reid.

A minute later, Reid entered the room. His eyes slightly squinted and his face bruised and cut. He did not look well. Taking the cell off speaker phone, Hotch handed Reid the phone.

"Hello?" He said in a slightly croaky voice. The team watched him intently. "Oh yeah... what? You couldn't?" Reid pulled his cell out of his pocket, clearly checking for missed calls. "Well I've not had any missed calls on my cell..." Reid then read out his cell number. "Yes... no... that's my current number. You don't have it?... Really?... What number do you have?..." Reid looked to Jason. "Oh really? Well that just doesn't make any sense..." He looked confused. "I did?... I haven't called you guys for over 4 weeks now..." He rolled his eyes. "I have an eidetic memory, Susan. I think I would remember something like that... yes, well I suggest you change it back! Yes now! Please do not ring my colleagues again... Bye." He put the cell down clearly frustrated.

All the team were interested in what he had to say next.

"Everything alright, Spence?"

"No, no, not really." He looked up at Jason. "Someone has rang Bennington pretending to be me! I have apparently provided them with a new cell number _and_apparently given permission for them to call you if I am unavailable." At that he gestured to Hotch.

"And you didn't?" Rossi questioned.

"No." Reid spat out. "But I know exactly who's number it was that was given." He turned to Jason. "It was yours!"

Jason's eyes opened wide, slightly frightened. He stuttered.

"W- what?"

"They had _your_ number at Bennington! Why?" Reid was once again getting annoyed.

"I don't know! That doesn't mean anything!" Jason argued, desperately.

Morgan noticed Reid was getting into the habit of squaring up to people. He was now leaning towards Jason, taking a completely dominant position. That in itself was out of character.

"Well isn't it convenient that just as I'm 'starting to go crazy', you turn up and befriend me... What is it you want?" Hotch looked between the two men. He honestly didn't know what to believe now. "What is it Jason?... You been hiding everything too?" Reid said with an arrogant smirk.

Rossi looked between the two men. Reid was uncharacteristically aggressive, his appearance was in disarray, he looked exhausted and he was clearly severely paranoid. On the other hand, Jason was submitting to Reid's dominance, also uncharacteristically, Rossi predicted. But aside from that, there was nothing suspicious about the man's demeanour. As much as it frustrated him to admit it, he did think that Jason was actually on the straight and narrow. However, this phone call was deeply suspicious.

"I haven't hidden anything Spence, please!" Jason begged. "Don't push me away. All I want to do is help you!" He stood trying to get Spencer to look at him. For his efforts, he received a hard shove to the floor.

"I can't believe I trusted you!" Reid rubbed his head hard as another painful burst spread through his forehead and eyes.

"Reid!" Hotch shouted. "Enough is enough! Go home."

Reid stared at him in shock, his mouth hung open.

"W- what?"

"I said go home. You are temporarily suspended from duty." The rest of the team exchanged sympathetic glances. "You will return to work subject to a psychological evaluation at the end of the week."

Reid stood stock still for a few moments, not quite believing what he was hearing. Then he started mumbling.

"Right... right... yeah." Running his hand through his hair, he turned slowly towards the door, his movements were jerking.

"Reid..." Hotch caught his attention once again. "Your credentials and your gun."

Feeling hopeless, Reid simply dropped them on the floor and stepped out of the conference room. They could see him go straight for his bag and quickly shove all of the items that were expelled from it earlier, back into it with little care. Then he went straight for the glass doors and left.

The team were in silent disbelief.

"I'm sorry." Hotch apologised, particularly to Jason. "I know there were better ways of handling this." He looked directly at Jason now. "And I'm sorry you had to become involved."

"Not your fault." Jason smiled sadly.

"We should have kept a closer eye on him." Rossi reflected. He was finally coming round to the idea that Reid was actually suffering from a psychological breakdown. He turned to Jason. "Sorry."

"Can't say I'm not slightly annoyed that you would believe Agent Morgan, but not me. But it is what it is. I just wish I could help him. But I think he's lost his trust in me now." He frowned.

"Join the club." Prentiss remarked.

"Jason. Take an early finish. My way of apology." Hotch smiled slightly.

"You sure?" Jason looked unconvinced.

"Yes. Of course. I'll speak to Lewis."

"Thank you, sir." Jason nodded to the team, then quickly ducked out of the room.

"What now?" JJ said, feeling incredibly melancholy.

"Have an hour's break from now. I think we all need it." Hotch replied in a sombre tone.

Hotch left the conference room and returned to his office to have some time alone.

"I have cookies." Garcia said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes, please." Joked Prentiss, always first to get over the shock of events.

"Come on Jadje." Garcia said gently to her friend, pulling her to her office with Emily close behind.

Rossi and Morgan remained behind, sat in silence.

* * *

><p>After almost 40 minutes of not speaking, Rossi and Morgan were finally talking things through.<p>

"You know, for a split second, I thought you guys weren't gonna believe me." Morgan spoke honestly.

"For a split second – I didn't." Rossi replied, equally honest.

Morgan furrowed his brows.

"What is it about Reid that makes us abandon all senses?"

"I dunno. I guess it's sympathy." Rossi said bluntly.

"Sympathy?" Morgan didn't like the use of that word.

"Yeah, I mean the kid's grown up watching his mother suffer through Schizophrenia. We all know how scared he is of that. I mean, even Jason knows that, and he's only known him two minutes. It's Reid's greatest fear, so it's only natural for us to deny that it might be happening."

Morgan nodded, he couldn't disagree with that.

"What did you make of the whole Jason thing?"

"With Bennington?" Rossi replied.

"Yeah, I mean, if Reid has really given Jason's number to Bennington then he really is losing it."

"Hm..." Rossi looked deep in thought.

"Hm?" Morgan questioned Rossi's response.

"Just something doesn't feel right, still." Rossi was clearly deep in thought, Morgan eyed him carefully.

"This isn't more denial is it, Rossi?"

Sighing, Rossi shook his head.

"I don't know... But say someone was doing this to him."

"Like who?.. Jason?... Come on Rossi!" Morgan sat back in his chair, tired of covering the same ground.

"Ok, yeah. Say it's Jason. He gets close to Reid, convinces him he's going crazy – why?"

"Are we really doin' this?" Asked Morgan.

"Humour me." Rossi retorted dryly.

"Fine, fine. Okay, could want him out of the job? Perhaps professional jealousy."

"But he could never fill Reid's shoes. It's a pointless goal." Rossi dismissed the career idea.

"Okay, well perhaps he has some personal jealousy issues."

Rossi weighed the thought up and down.

"Possibly. But Reid isn't exactly the typical sort of person that inspires jealousy... If we were looking at you, that would be a more realistic issue. You're well-built, you can take care of yourself and you are a strong alpha male. Being jealous of people who are generally weaker or less 'alpha' than you are is generally not the done thing."

"Okay, so we're looking at control then? Out of the pair, Jason is the alpha male and sees a submission in Reid that makes him want to dominate him."

"So he removes the only obstacle standing in the way, his brain." Rossi felt as though they were starting to make progress.

"But Rossi, there's one problem with this. A relationship such as that relies on a certain level of trust. He had Reid's trust. Why would he throw it away by doing something so stupid as phoning up the sanitarium and giving himself away like that?"

Rossi sat in silence for a good minute or so. It was obvious to Morgan that Rossi felt he was onto something, and he wasn't completely unconvinced himself. The thought made him slightly queezy.

"What if it wasn't just about domination and control? What if it was about obsession? What if Jason is obsessed with Reid? If he believes he is in love with him then that would change everything."

"It wouldn't just be about control, it would be about getting Reid all to himself." Morgan continued the thought, his eyes opening wide in horror. "And he doesn't need Reid's trust to do that."

"He needs ours."


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm being very cruel with this chapter ;) I was going to continue but I really liked where this ended. I thought carrying on would ruin the suspense a little. It's slow moving I know, but I love writing dialogue so can sometimes be a little caught up in that. Hope the characterisation is working for you. Next chapter will heavily feature Reid and we will find out exactly what is going on! Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews again. Please keep R&Ring! They make me smile :) And well done to those of you who guessed the plot! You suspicious minds, you!**

"Garcia." Morgan and Rossi rushed into her office, she was sat round the table. JJ and Prentiss were also sat with her, an empty tin, which had once contained cookies, sat in the middle.

"Sorry sugar, you're too late. My wonderful creations have been devoured." She smiled at Morgan teasingly. JJ and Prentiss shared an amused look. Suddenly sensing that Morgan and Rossi were not taking the joke, her face turned serious. "What's wrong?"

"We need you to check something for us. Jason Turner's background." Rossi steam-rollered in. "I want _everything_ on him, if he took a dump when he was 7 – I wanna know about it!"

Garcia's mouth dropped open. JJ and Prentiss were suddenly very curious.

"Why?" Prentiss asked.

"I can't, sir." Garcia said quickly and quietly.

"Why not?" Rossi asked, forcefully.

"Because he's my friend – have you _any_ idea the sort of information I can find out about people?" She looked to Morgan remembering her research into his life and the trouble it caused, he did not break her gaze. "It's an intrusion of privacy."

"Why do you want information on Jason Turner?" JJ asked, still confused.

Morgan moved and knelt down at Garcia's side, he put a hand on her arm. He spoke softly.

"Look, baby girl. I know it's hard. And I know you hate doing it."

"I do." She answered, in a child-like manner.

"But there is a chance that Reid might be in danger and Jason might be the one that's going to hurt him."

"What?" JJ and Prentiss exclaimed. Rossi gained their eye contact and shook his head. He clearly wanted to discuss the details after. They both silenced, trusting the judgement of their older more experienced colleague.

"No, no – Morgan, Jason wouldn't do that. I've told you, he's a good guy." Garcia spoke softly but quickly. "He's just a normal person. He likes gaming, he loves his job, he socialises, he's happy-"

"Please, baby girl." Morgan cut in gently. "If there's nothing suspicious then we'll know we were wrong."

"But then it'll be too late. All of his past mistakes will be etched in my memory forever." She frowned. Thinking of the few times she has had to look into one of her colleague's pasts, it rarely ended well.

Rossi looked to her now, his eyes wide and pleading. He was uncharacteristically gentle. Garcia appreciated this.

"Please."

Garcia stared up at him for a couple of moments, then let out a sigh. Her gaze resigned itself to the fact that yet again, she was going to explore a friend's personal life. She got up moodily and moved to her swivvle chair by her computer.

"Not everyone is an unsub." She muttered.

The others chose to ignore this comment. They knew it was hard for Garcia to cope with the idea that people she knew may be capable of committing crimes against others. It was part of why they loved her, she kept them grounded. Reminded them that some people can be trusted.

Morgan and Rossi paid little attention to JJ and Prentiss who were hovering behind them, trying to get a glimpse of what it was that they were looking for. Then leaned in slightly next to Garcia, ready to help her with the search.

"Right, got him. Jason Turner, 40 years old – wow, 40? He told me he was 36! The little liar." Garcia said, amused.

"See, there are some perks to this whole snooping thing." Rossi said, shooting a glance at Morgan who merely smiled.

"Right, he was employed by the FBI 10 years ago. He worked in the cyber attacks division for 8 years at headquarters in D.C. Then he was transferred over to here 2 years ago."

"Any reason given for the transfer?" Rossi asked.

"Recommendation from the cyber attacks unit and interest from him to come here it seems."

"He's been here two years? How is it I've never noticed him?" Morgan questioned in astonishment.

"Know what you mean." JJ added. It seemed that most of the team, aside from Garcia had gone those 2 years without ever even laying eyes on the man. And if they had, they didn't know it.

"He's a quiet guy. He flies under the radar a lot." Garcia said in his defense.

"How about his past Garcia? Any previous convictions?" She scrolled down the pages of information on her friend.

"No sweetie, zip." Suddenly her gaze hovered over a suspicious looking file. "Wait – this might be something." She said thoughtfully.

"What is it?" Morgan asked.

"It's sealed. Oh, I _hate_ sealed files!" She moaned like a child.

"Well unseal it." Rossi ordered.

"But, sir – _anything_ could be in this file. And I mean _anything_. Something so personal that he would never tell anyone in the whole world."

"That's generally the point of them being sealed." Rossi said sarcastically.

Morgan put a hand on her shoulder.

"Baby girl, think of Reid. If Jason is planning something bad, and we don't know about it, Reid's in big trouble. It's a small price to pay to possibly save his life."

She looked at Morgan in distress, she knew to trust her team and they were rarely wrong. This is what made this all the more hard.

"Save his life?" Her voice shook.

Now Morgan looked her in the eyes.

"Yes, baby girl. If we're right about this, then we've gotta move fast. He's in a lot of danger."

"Oh god." Prentiss sighed in the background, exasperated.

"What are you waiting for?" JJ snapped impatiently.

"Okay, okay!" Penelope started typing frantically, she sometimes cursed under her breath as various attempts were unsuccessful. After about a minute of solid typing, it looked as though she may have something. "Bingo! It's unsealed." Taking a deep breath she opened it. "I can't look." She closed her eyes.

Morgan leaned in.

"It's a criminal record." He stated. "Penelope, I need your help here."

Huffing, she opened her eyes.

"Right, what do you need?"

"Any evidence of crimes against others." Morgan stared hard at the screen. It didn't make sense to him like it made sense to Garcia.

"He has a juvie record."

"What for?" Rossi questioned.

"Pick pocketing. He has literally hundreds of cautions and one conviction. He went to juvie for a month."

Morgan and Rossi looked to each other. _Sleight __of __hand._

"Anything else, baby girl?"

"I'm looking, I'm looking." Garcia answered, slightly impatiently. "Oh no." Her face dropped.

Morgan tensed.

"What? What is it?"

"He- he, was charged with stalking and um, sexual assault when he was 25. The charges were dropped when the evidence was found to be only circumstantial."

Quickly recovering, Rossi spoke.

"What's the betting that his victim was a man?"

Garcia typed again.

"Yeah," she spoke quietly. "Yeah, an 18 year old, Stephen Thompson. He took a restraining order out against him two months before the charges were brought. Oh my god. How do people like that even get into the FBI?"

"He wasn't convicted." Spoke Rossi plainly. "In the eyes of the FBI, he's nothing but a petty thief. Or that's how they'll argue it."

"Rossi, this all fits." Morgan was staring at the screen in shock. "The pick pocketing, the stalking."

He was almost in a trance, he couldn't take his eyes off the words '_sexual __assault_'. His heart was pounding in his chest.

"I'll get Hotch." Prentiss said quickly. Racing out of the room.

"Hotch sent him home. Both of them. He knows that you had your suspicions, time was ticking for him. He knew you were closing in. With Reid suspended, there's nothing standing in his way now Rossi... We've gotta get over there." Morgan was speaking quickly, he was obviously terrified for his best friend.

"What are we waiting for?" JJ's voice was laced with panic.

"What's going on?" Hotch entered the room. His face deeply serious. Prentiss had obviously given him a quick brief.

"Reid's in trouble. We believe Jason Turner is obsessed with him." Rossi spoke strongly.

"All of this has been him Hotch." Morgan spoke, his eyes glazing over slightly with tears. "He's made Reid think he's been going crazy."

"Where's your proof, Morgan?" Hotch said, slightly frustrated. Not quite believing that the whole team were also being taken in by their fears.

"Hotch, the guy's got a history of pick pocketing. Don't you think it's just a bit of a coincidence that stuff kept going missing and then being replaced as if it had just magically reappeared? A guy like him could do that."

"That doesn't prove anything and you know it, Derek." Hotch spoke firmly. He knew the team didn't want to lose Reid. They were almost as scared as the young man himself. But accusing others was not the way to go about it.

"Hotch." Morgan spoke slowly and carefully. Taking care to put the strength behind the words that he felt they required. "Jason Turner was charged with stalking and _sexual __assault_ when he was 25 years old. The charges were then dropped."

Hotch's face tensed slightly. Now this was cause for concern.

"Oh my god." Garcia gasped. The team turned in her direction. They saw a picture of a young man who looked just like Reid. Baby-faced, longish dark blonde hair, very slim. He was dressed more fashionably, but it was unmistakeable. The similarities were there. The team stared wide eyed at the picture of Turner's victim. Hotch's stomach did a little flip.

"Let's go." He commanded.


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh you guys are in for such a treat! ;) Two chapters in one day? I hear you say! I'm like Jack the Ripper of the writing world! Now don't expect it for free, I want lots of reviews! Ha. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter already! Please do keep submitting reviews for chapter 6 as well, I like to know where I'm going right and wrong. Just to warn, this is the chapter where things are going to kick off. It is still a T rating BUT NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING UP TO RATING M. PLEASE REMEMBER! :) Please enjoy! Got a little carried away today. I shouldn't be given days off.**

**Warnings: Swearing and content of a sexual nature. **

Reid left the BAU offices in a hurry. His mind was whirling with the events of the last few hours. His body ached, his cheekbone throbbed and he felt slightly dizzy from the continuing headache. He was exhausted. The moment he got outside, he put his sun glasses on. It was a dull day, but the light still made his eyes squint painfully.

He made his way slowly and mechanically to the subway station. He was completely depressed. He could feel his whole life falling out from underneath him, like grains of sand shifting underneath his weight.

_Is__ this __how __my __Mom __felt?_ That was all he could think about on his journey home. How his mother struggled with mental illness. In a few moments of mental clarity, he reviewed the events of the day. He thought about losing his gun and finding it in Morgan's drawer. He remembered the look of horror on Morgan's face when he saw the gun in his hand. Reid suddenly felt extremely guilty.

_Morgan __just__ wouldn't __do __that__._ He thought to himself. The symptoms of Schizophrenia suddenly flashed up in his mind. _Paranoia. _He quickly shook them away.

No, it had been Jason. Jason had done this, all of it. Reid tried his hardest to convince himself, suddenly he was hit with a strong memory.

_"Spencer! Where is it?" Spencer was sat on his bed reading a book when he was interrupted by his mother, desperately searching his room._

_"Where is what?" He stood, he grabbed his mother's arm. _

_She looked at his hand as if he had just spat on her. She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him hard. _

_"The knife, Spencer. The knife! Your father has hidden it in here."_

_Scared, ten year old Spencer's eyes started to water slightly._

_"W- what knife?" His voice shook. _

_"He's going to kill me. I know it, he's going to kill me, Spencer." Diana paced up and down his room, wringing her hands as she did so. Spencer's face crumpled in upset._

_"No, Mom... no, he's not."_

_Diana whirled round to her son._

_"Are you in on it too?... My own son!" she spat. She shoved him into the corner of the room, his back hit the wall hard. _

_Tears began to roll down his face._

_"No, Mom. Please! No one's trying to kill you."_

_Diana was searching through everywhere, emptying out drawers, throwing Spencer's books off the shelves. Finally she threw his bed covers across the room and lifted his mattress off the bed._

_To Spencer's shock, underneath his mattress lay a knife. Diana's face was horrified, but also held a slight hint of satisfaction._

_She pulled the knife out from under the bed._

_"What do you think this is, Spencer? You're father has been trying to kill me and YOU have been helping."_

_Spencer pushed himself further into the corner of his bedroom. His knees came up to his chest and he wrapped his arms around them. He hated it when his Mom had the episodes of paranoia. _

_"Mom, please." He begged._

_"How could you do this to me Spencer?" She asked sadly, looking at the knife._

_"Mom, please." He sheepishly brought himself up to a standing position. "Please, give me the knife." The ten year old looked pleadingly at his mother._

_She grabbed him by the collar pulling him close to her._

_"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" She screamed at the top of her voice, right in Spencer's face. Then she dropped the knife, shoved Spencer back and left the room wailing._

_Spencer stood, shaking hard. Looking at the knife on the floor, tears started to fall down his face. And he collapsed back into the corner surrounded by the mess his mother had made._

Reid suddenly found himself sat with his head in his hands on the subway. The memory of his desperate mother felt like it was only yesterday. Reid could feel tears welling up in his eyes, he looked across the subway and a large unfriendly looking man was staring at him. Embarrassed, he turned himself away from his gaze.

_I'm __turning __into __my __mother._He realised. He had tried to ignore the similarities between the circumstances: the loss of items, the ideas that everyone was plotting against him, the concerned looks from his colleagues, his inability to work, his increased frustration and depression. But it all made sense. Not to mention the dreadful headaches that had been splitting his mind for more than a few months now. _The__ doctor__ was __right. _All Reid could think about was Hotch's face when he tried to tell him that he wasn't crazy. Hotch was sympathetic. Sympathy.

His mother always said, 'I used to think I was the sane one, and everyone else had issues. But when even the people who once hated me, looked upon me with sympathy, I knew I was the one with the problem.'

Sympathy was all he had seen for the last week. And concern. He had seen those expressions before, but not so consistently directed at him.

Suddenly his thoughts turned to Jason. He had shoved him onto the floor.

"_Mom, no! Please! I didn't do anything!"_

_Diana shoved Spencer so forcefully that he couldn't keep his balance. He landed on the living room coffee table. He started crying._

"_I'm not crazy, Spencer."_

Reid shook the thoughts from his head. He had pushed away the only friend he had ever met outside of his team. And he was now suspended for it. Reid sat deep in thought for the rest of the subway journey, terrified of what this realisation meant for him.

* * *

><p>Reid reached the door to his apartment, tiredly he put the key into the lock and opened the door. His apartment was in disarray. It was never in disarray. He wasn't one of these Hollywood depicted geniuses, who were so involved in their own minds they never remembered to clean. Reid had a place for everything. Seeing his apartment in this state reminded him that things weren't right.<p>

Clothes were strewn across the floor, dishes were left in the sink to gather germs, his blinds were closed, drawers were left open and books were all over the place as opposed to being in the safe sanctuary of his book shelves. Sighing heavily, Reid bent over to pick up the first book in his path. His head throbbed painfully as he did so. Losing his balance slightly he just about made it across to the couch and dropped himself onto it.

He looked around his room again. _Personal disorganisation, the link between mental disorders and poor living standards is well documented. Studies show that people suffering from severe mental illness often neglect hygiene standards, which often in turn worsens the mental state, further worsening the living conditions._

He was becoming a statistic. He had been home ten minutes when there was a knock at the door. He had been staring at the coffee table ahead for all of that time. Too tired to make an effort to do anything else. Reid slowly turned his head towards the door. Pushing his arms up behind him, he struggled to stand. Another knock on the door came.

"Coming." He mumbled, just loud enough for the person on the other side to hear.

He shuffled towards the door, the pain throbbing again in his head as he straightened up. He winced. God he was tired of these headaches.

Turning the handle of his door he pulled it back, allowing the person outside to see in through a small crack. It was Jason. Reid opened the door a little wider, standing in the gap between the door and it's frame.

Reid looked sheepishly at Jason, his eyes full of apology. The earlier feelings of distrust were still pulling at him, he dismissed them quickly as paranoia, smiling very slightly at his friend.

"Hey Spence." Jason spoke softly, that sympathetic look in his eyes. "Can I come in?"

Reid glanced behind him at the mess in his apartment and felt automatically embarrassed.

"Mmm... It's a bit of a mess." He mumbled, shyly. Still feeling awful about earlier.

"That doesn't matter. I can help you tidy up." Jason persuaded. Seeing the submission in Reid's face, he pushed gently at the door. Reid didn't stop him, merely closed the door behind him. He stood, watching his friend gaze around his apartment. The two didn't speak, and Jason didn't mention the mess. He turned back to Reid who was still by the door. "Sit down." He said kindly but firmly.

Reid dropped his gaze and obeyed. Jason felt a flutter.

He moved himself so he was sat next to Reid. A little closer than Reid would usually allow, but he didn't have the energy to be his usual nervous self.

"I'm sorry." His voice came out weak and child-like. "I shouldn't have blamed you." Jason put his hand on Reid's knee. He did flinch slightly at that.

"It's okay Spencer. I understand." He stared hard at him, hoping for some sort of response. But Reid didn't even look at him. "Do you want a drink? You got any hard stuff?"

Furrowing his brows, Reid thought for a moment.

"Mmm... I think there's some whisky in there." He pointed to an old fashioned drinks cabinet. It was obviously rarely touched and mostly there for display. But he did have some nice whisky glasses on the top of the cabinet.

"Whisky?" Jason raised an eyebrow at that. "Didn't have you down as a whisky drinker."

"I'm not." Reid answered. "Not often."

Jason nodded in understanding. He poured two large ones.

He knocked back a swig himself before giving the other glass to Reid.

"At least you get the good stuff."

Reid looked at the glass before lifting it to his mouth. The smell was foul. He really didn't like whisky, but sometimes when he felt numb, the utter foulness of it would bring his senses back to life. Thinking about the incredibly bad day he had had, he knocked back the whole glass in a couple of mouthfuls, wincing as he finished. The whisky felt warm as it travelled through his chest and down into his stomach. A tingling sensation tickled his limbs. He really wasn't much of a drinker. He relaxed his head back onto the couch. Watching him intently, Jason sat down next to him again. He poured Reid another large whisky.

"I really shouldn't." Reid said, trying to pass the glass away.

Jason cupped his hand around Reid's, guiding the glass back to him.

"A drink isn't gonna do you any harm, man. Not like you've gotta be anywhere tomorrow now, is it?" He smiled kindly.

Reid lifted his head at this, his eyebrows furrowed. He hadn't thought about tomorrow and what his suspension really meant. Frowning, he looked to the glass and took another large swig, wincing again.

"I've really messed up." Reid said tiredly.

Jason took a sip of his whisky then put it on the table in front of him. He turned himself to face Reid.

"Spencer. I don't think any less of you, you know." Reid glanced at Jason quickly, unsure how to react. When he found the man staring calmly at him, Reid levelled his gaze to meet his. "You are a good person, Spence. And I know you didn't mean what you said to me."

Reid's face twitched in his usual nervous way.

"I did at the time." He looked ashamed. Jason took hold of Reid's hand and guided the whisky up to his mouth. At first Spencer was a little taken a back.

"Relax Spence. Just relax, just let your head switch off for a little while." Spencer stared at him, nodding. He took another drink on Jason's instruction. This time he didn't wince. "You need to chill out, man, right?" He looked to Reid for an answer.

"Right." He replied softly, he eyed his glass again and took another shot.

Jason picked up the bottle again and poured some more into his own glass and then topped up Reid's. When Reid looked as though he was about to protest, Jason cut him off.

"Dude, we're getting drunk tonight. Stop complaining."

Reid pulled a lopsided smile as Jason went to clink glasses with him.

"Cheers." He said quietly. He took another small drink then stared ahead. Jason was still watching him. Reid's brows furrowed again as he fought with something he felt he should say but didn't want to. "I... I don't think I'm well." He said sadly. His mouth formed an uncomfortable tight lipped smile as it always did when he was uncomfortable. He took another drink.

"Whatever's going on with you, Spencer. You know I'm here for you, don't you?" Jason took a sip of whisky.

Reid's turned tiredly to face Jason.

"Why?" He asked quietly.

"Why?... Because I think we make a good team." He said gently, but confidently. Reid let out a slight laugh. Jason turned, slightly irritated. "What? What's funny?" Reid's head was hanging slightly forward now, it was obvious the drink was starting to affect him. They both knew he was a light weight.

"I dunno, just wanted to laugh." Reid then tipped his head back, a smile crossing his face. Jason watched him carefully.

"Yeah, well, as long as it's not at my expense." Jason murmured under his breath.

Reid turned his head clumsily in surprise.

"Now who needs a drink?" He teased. Jason searched Reid's eyes for any hint of malice, finding none he smiled and relaxed into the back of the couch. His body was still facing Reid. A posture that was not causing Reid any issues due to his slightly intoxicated state.

"I think that's you." He teased back, grabbing Reid's drink and forcing it up to his mouth. Reid jumped in surprise and struggled to swallow it. Some dripped down his chin and onto his jumper, some he spat out in surprise and the rest he awkwardly swallowed. He half coughed, half laughed.

Jason laughed out loud. Clearly amused by Reid's surprise.

"You son of a bitch!" Reid said in a high squeaky voice, smile plastered on his face. Jason opened his mouth in surprise.

"Oh, Dr. Reid. You swear?" He teased.

"When the recipient unquestionably deserves it, yes." He said, wiping his chin and his jumper.

"Sorry." Jason smiled. "I'll get a towel." He got up quickly.

"There's no need." Spencer said quickly, but he was too late. Jason was already up and on his way. By the time he got back, he was pleased to see Reid's drink was firmly back in his hand and he was taking small sips from it.

Sitting back down, he chucked Reid the towel. Reid nodded a thanks to him, patting his chin and jumper dry.

Picking up the bottle again, he topped up Spencer's glass one more time. This time Spencer didn't argue. His face was starting to look slightly flushed and his eyes were less focused.

"You feeling a bit more relaxed now?" Jason shuffled up on the couch, getting closer to Reid.

Reid took another clumsy sip of his drink and tipped his head back.

"I should do this more often." Reid mumbled. A combination of exhaustion and alcohol making him more tired than he should be. He licked his lips in thought. "It's hard with the team though." He started opening up. "They have so much energy sometimes... can barely keep up." He slurred very slightly. Then smiled, turning towards Jason. "How old do I sound?"

"You sound sensible, if you ask me."

"What? To never socialise?" Reid scoffed, turning away.

"To never socialise with them." Jason said nonchalantly.

Confused, Reid darted his gaze back to Jason. His eyes were questioning.

"What do you mean?" He asked softly. Jason opened his mouth to answer and then convincingly closed it, shaking his head.

"Forget it." He waved his hand dismissively.

Reid sat up properly now, he rocked slightly in his intoxicated state.

"No. What did you mean?" He pushed, his eyes wide open.

Jason turned to meet his gaze. His stomach did a little flip. _Those__ eyes._

"I just meant that they're... not my sort of people." He answered, with little commitment.

"No, no you didn't. I might be drunk, but I know when someone is telling me the truth." Reid leaned in to him without realising, over doing the eye contact as many drunk people do.

Jason smirked slightly.

"I just, I don't think they're any good for you... For your health. Always telling you that they think you're not well. It's almost like they are trying to push you off the team or something." He said sheepishly. Reid looked hurt, his eyebrows twitched as he considered what Jason had just said. Jason continued, trying to quickly recover some ground. "Of course, that's just my opinion. That doesn't mean they are! It's just..." He trailed off as Reid's gaze left him. He sat back into the couch, resting his whisky glass against his chest.

Reid in that moment felt numb. Jason had just confirmed some of the thoughts that had crossed his mind over the last few days. Whenever he saw the other team members talking without him. Whenever they would go silent when he approached, all the times they had spoken to Hotch in his office and finally his suspension. He realised that the team saw him as a liability. And if they saw him as that, then they weren't true friends.

Reid swallowed thickly. The emotion building in his throat.

"It's okay." He said softly. "You're right." He tipped his head back again.

"I'm always here for you though, Spence. You know you can trust me, right?" Spencer tightened his lips and nodded. His drink was held loosely in his right hand, balancing precariously on his chest. It slipped slightly. Jason jumped, grabbing at it. "Watch it!" The movement made Reid jerk the glass in shock, spilling more onto his jumper.

"Damn it." He muttered. Leaning forwards to put the glass on the table. He looked for the towel. He suddenly felt a firm hand on his shoulder pulling him back to relax onto the couch.

"Let me see... Relax" Jason said calmly. Towel ready in hand. He examined the stain and started patting at the younger man's chest. The touch made Jason tingle. He took a deep, heavy breath. A movement that went unnoticed by Reid, as he lowered his head back onto the couch as the drink induced tingling sensations took over again, trusting Jason to deal with the stain.

Jason stilled his movements on Reid's chest, his hand rested over his heart. He was staring straight at Reid's face now.

Furrowing his brows, Reid lifted his head, opening his eyes. He looked at Jason questioningly.

Jason stared deep into Reid's slightly unfocused eyes and pushed himself forward to kiss the younger man. Just as his lips reached Reid's he was pushed away. Reid's eyes opened wide in shock and his mouth dropped open. He pushed himself back into the corner of the couch.

"What are you doing?" His voice was tense and on edge.

Irritation flashed across Jason's features and he suddenly grabbed Reid either side of the head and pulled him into a bruising kiss.

Spencer let out a startled yelp as he was pushed into the corner of the couch. His eyes were tightly shut and his hands came up to pull the man's grip away from him. In between kisses, he tried to speak.

"Jase-" He struggled more. "What do you-" Jason tightened the grip on his head. "Get-" He was cut off. Reid managed to find enough strength to push Jason backwards. "OFF ME!" He finished. His face was red, he was panting and his hair was messed up. His eyes were wide in fear, he stared at Jason in shock, his hands held up in defence. Jason stood himself up now and started pacing the room. This made Reid even more nervous. "I won't tell anyone." Reid said weakly. "I promise."

Jason turned to look at him. Anger burning in his eyes. Reid found himself leaning into the corner of the couch again, however vulnerable a position it looked, it felt safer.

"Why?" Jason asked him. Reid was taken a back by the question. "Why did you push me away?"

Swallowing, Reid didn't answer.

Jason continued.

"Do you think you're too good for me? Is that it?" Jason spoke, deeply wounded.

"No." Reid whispered. Feeling really scared. He knew how bad this could end up.

"Do you look down at me, Spencer? Just because I'm not a fucking agent?"

"No. You know I don't." Reid sheepishly glanced at Jason, his eyes were starting to glaze slightly with tears.

"Do I?" Jason moved towards him menacingly.

Reid looked around for something to help him, anything.

"Yes!" He threw out desperately.

"Then kiss me, Spence." He knelt down beside Reid. The younger man tensed. He didn't dare look him in the eyes.

"I can't." He answered honestly.

His right hand grabbed him harshly by the cheeks, he moaned in pain as his already punished cheek bone complained.

"All that help and support I've fucking given you, man." Reid's hands came up to his face to try and free it, Jason grabbed his right wrist with his spare hand and held it down against the couch. "I think you ought to start being grateful." He practically spat. He shoved Reid's face backwards violently, releasing his grip. Reid winced. "Now kiss me." Jason ordered. When Reid just stared in frozen shock, Jason pulled out a kitchen knife. One of Reid's kitchen knives. This didn't go unnoticed.

Struggling to speak, Reid managed to squeeze out some words.

"You... planned this." He gasped as the knife came up to his cheek.

"No actually, Spencer. What I had fucking planned was that you would do as you were told, which is shut up and put up. But you've not even got the sense to do that. Perhaps a knife might chance your position on the whole kissing issue?"

Reid's face crumpled and tears started to leak from his eyes. His eyes were begging his 'friend'.

"Please don't do this." His voice came out weak.

"Oh Spence." Jason let go of his wrist and stroked his face, wiping a stray tear away. "I just can't let you go."

He moved in to kiss Reid, who out of instinct pulled his face away. Grabbing Reid by the collar, Jason pulled him back towards him and pressed the knife right up against his cheek, until a tiny drop of blood rolled down his face. Reid closed his eyes tightly as he froze. Jason started kissing him again. Getting carried away with himself he climbed on top of his victim and pushed him right into the corner of the couch again, this time with the knife keeping Spencer firmly under control. The kisses got more passionate and desperate and Reid could feel the panic building up inside of him, all he wanted to do was push the man off him but the sharp blade of the knife stopped him from doing what his whole body was willing him to.

Jason finally slowed down his movements, he was breathing heavily and his face was flushed.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that for." He smiled against Reid's lips, giving them one last quick kiss. Then to Reid's relief, he shifted his weight and stood up. Picking up his glass of whisky, he downed it.

"You wanna drink?" He held Reid's glass out to him.

Reid looked at the glass like it would kill him. He shook his head meekly. His hands were shaking and his head was pounding.

"We've gotta get outta here." Jason continued. Reid looked up at him, concerned. He hadn't really figured what this was going to lead to.

"We can stay here." Reid suggested.

Jason just laughed at him like he did when they were friends, no more than 10 minutes ago. Reid looked at him, saddened.

"No, we've gotta get out of here. It'll be better for us, to spend some time together." He said that with little innuendo. This was when Reid realised he was in deep trouble. This guy wasn't just a sadist – he was obsessed with him. This guy actually believed that he cared about him. That made him more dangerous and made Reid's position all the more precarious.

Swallowing back the panic, Reid looked to his bag which contained his mobile phone. Jason was pacing the room trying to figure out a way of getting them out of the building. He knew that Reid was a risk taker, if he saw a chance of getting away, he would take it, knife at his throat or not. In a locked room, however, he was much more controllable. He just simply couldn't walk him through the corridors of the building and out into the open air. He paced around the back of the couch.

Reid glanced over his shoulder, noticing that Jason was distracted. He quickly leaned over to his bag on the floor next to his feet and scooped out his mobile phone, finding it without trouble for once. He quickly dialled the last caller and the phone flashed up with MORGAN. Jason turned around, just in time to see Reid with his phone in his lap. Grabbing a lamp off the side table, he swung it at Reid's head before he even had chance to notice he'd been caught.

The lamp connected hard with the young agent's head. He fell forward and sideways unconscious. The phone had dropped to the floor and Jason picked it up just in time for Morgan answering.

"Reid? You okay?... You there, kid?... Reid!" Jason pulled his face and put down the phone. He hated that overprotective piece of shit. Looking down at the unconscious Reid then glancing to Reid's window, he figured the fire escape would do. After all, what were escapes for?

* * *

><p>Morgan, Rossi and Hotch all approached Reid's door, guns drawn. Hotch led the way. He and Rossi stood either side of the door. He nodded at Morgan to kick the door down. Hotch entered the apartment first.<p>

"FBI!" He shouted. The living room was empty. He looked to the two whisky glasses set down on the table. He pointed Rossi to go towards the kitchen and Morgan was to follow him to the bedroom and bathroom. Standing by the door handle to one of the unknown rooms in Reid's apartment, Hotch nodded to Morgan and he turned the knob. Morgan entered the room first, Hotch kept his eye on the corridor.

"Clear." Morgan stated. The door had led to the bathroom.

They also heard Rossi shout from the kitchen.

"Kitchen's clear."

The agents carried on, opening the other two doors in the flat, both bedrooms and both empty.

"Guys!" Rossi shouted from the living room. Morgan and Hotch followed his voice. Rossi held up Reid's phone and was stood by the slightly open window, leading to the fire escape.

A look of horror flashed across Morgan's face. Hotch tensed.

"We were too late."


	8. Chapter 8

**EDIT 26/12: Thanks for reviewing so far everyone. The next update will be up in the next day or two. Apologies, had a busy week as I was directing a play and then obviously it's been Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone. x **

**Okay, WARNINGS WARNINGS WARNINGS!****  
><strong>Sorry for the looooong winded author's note this time

**This chapter contains scenes of a sexual nature and deals with the subject of sexual assault. Whilst the imagery is not necessarily graphic, the emotions related to the event are. If this bothers you at all then please do not read. This story is now rated M for a reason!**

**There is also swearing in this chapter. Please take heed of these warnings, if you go ahead and read and are offended then I claim no responsibility for that.**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, I'm glad you are all enjoying the story. I just wanted to comment on a couple of reviews. **

**Lolyncut – Thanks for your review. I was saving the comments about Reid's apartment for this chapter, as I just wanted a short snappy ending for chapter 7, I felt that was appropriate. So the team will discuss Reid more in this chapter.**

**CMSP – Cheers for the reviews! Just referring to your review of chapter 6 and how you didn't like it :( lol. Made me sad! Just kidding. No, I totally understand where you're coming from. It completely depends on how you interpret it really. From my point of view, I was trying to show Garcia as I feel she is on the show. Always believing in the good of people, and the thought that someone she knows pretty well could do that to someone else would (I think) be inconceivable to her. Where as, Reid's issues with mental health have been pretty well discussed so I thought it would probably be easier for her believe that he is mentally ill, rather than think that Jason is a sadist who has worked in the office next to her for the last 2 years, if that makes sense? Also, the cookies thing was just another thing that I thought she might do. Particularly her and Emily, as they are always the ones who try to lift the spirits of the team. Sometimes on Emily's part, at inappropriate times (again, my opinion) but I felt they would try to act as normal as possible until they had more info. Hope this answers your questions anyway and at least helps you understand why I made certain character decisions.**

**Enjoy this chapter! And remember my WARNINGS! :)**

Jason sat in the corner of the dark room staring intently at Reid, who was lay on the bed in the centre. His heart was pounding so fast, he thought it might jump out of his chest. He couldn't believe he had done it. He had finally gotten Reid to himself.

Jason felt a flutter of excitement in his stomach as he watched the young agent stir slightly. He knew Reid would be scared, and the thought made Jason tingle. There was just something about Reid that made him want to control him. He had tried to fight it, but from the moment he laid eyes on the younger man he knew he wanted him. And like with Stephen Thompson before him, if Reid wouldn't give him what he wanted, he would be more than happy to take it.

Reid's head was pounding. He rolled slightly onto his left, moaning as another sharp pain lanced into his eyes. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he brought his hand up to rub at them. Suddenly, he froze, as the haze started to clear from his mind. Where was he?

Slowly and carefully, he opened his eyes. Initially his vision was blurred but after a few seconds it cleared. He was in a dark room, on a comfortable bed. A movement from the corner of the room caught his eye and he shot his gaze towards it. A tall, dark haired man stood staring at him. It was Jason.

His mind was racing, desperately trying to figure out how he had ended up here. All he could remember was reaching for his bag, then waking up. He desperately wanted to pretend to still be asleep, as much as he knew that wouldn't work. Some childish part of him hoped that this was all a dream. Pushing down the panic that was rising in his chest, Reid knew what he had to do.

He sat up, wincing as he did so. Before he could even focus, Jason was behind him, helping him up.

"Easy, easy." He said gently, kneeling across the bed to prop Reid up.

"I'm okay." Reid said, wincing again. He felt Jason sit behind him, one knee either side his back. He instantly tensed.

Pulling Reid back by the shoulders, Jason ensured that Reid's back was resting against his chest. Jason stroked a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hit you, but you were calling that bastard, Morgan." Reid pulled his head away from Jason as his breath hit his ear. "He would have taken you away from me."

Reid fought his urge to jump away from the contact, knowing full well that the last thing he needed to do with someone like Jason was anything to annoy him. As much as Reid hated it, if he was going to do what he would advise any other person to do, then he would have to play along. It was his best chance of survival.

Reid shifted his weight slightly, trying to get more comfortable, this was when he felt a chain around his ankle. His right ankle was chained to the base of the bed. He stared at it, as if it was going to kill him. Jason obviously had no intentions of living a normal life with him. Any chances of that were probably blown by his phone call to Morgan. Reid cursed his own stupidity. He needed to get Jason to trust him, and through his own blind panic he had gotten himself into an even worse mess.

Reid was brought back to his current situation when two arms snaked around his body and drew him even closer to Jason. A cold shiver went down his spine as Jason nuzzled his face into his neck. Trying desperately to distract him, Reid looked around the room.

"Where are we?" He asked quietly.

"Shhh... don't ruin it." Jason whispered, bringing his hand up to Reid's mouth. He stroked it gently.

Reid closed his eyes tightly trying to dispel the building panic. Voice shaking, he tried again.

"Are we in a basement?"

Jason merely laughed then kissed Reid's neck.

"You've always gotta know what's going on, haven't you?"

Trying to pull himself away slightly, Reid nodded.

"It's just my nature."

Jason suddenly shook him, giving him a warning not to move any further away.

"Just relax, Spence. _Relax_." He shook Reid again until he no choice other than to let his muscles relax a little. "That's better." He breathed in his ear.

Licking his lips thoughtfully, Reid knew he had to buy himself some time. It was clear that Jason was unstable, but it was also clear that he truly believed that he cared for Reid, in his own twisted way. He also knew that Jason's belief, that he was doing what was best for Reid, would also lead him to defensively snap. Which is when he would be most in danger. The idea of playing along, made Reid feel sick to his stomach, but he knew it was the only way he was going to buy himself any time. Steeling himself, he relaxed further into Jason's grasp, a shudder ran through his body.

"I'm sorry. This is all just happening very quickly." He spoke gently, his voice still shaking. "One minute we're friends, and now-" No matter how Reid tried, he could not finish that sentence, the breath caught in his throat.

"I know. Great isn't it?" Jason smiled, stroking hair out of Spencer's face and kissing him on the cheek.

Spencer gave an uncomfortable laugh, trying his best to be calm.

"I know you want... you want to be close to me." Reid tread carefully. "But, I- I just need some more time... to get used to it." As much as it pained him to do it, he turned his face up to look at Jason, trying to be as believable as possible. He smiled a small nervous smile.

Jason stared down at him, a look of irritation crossed his features. Then he tightened his grasp on Reid, smiling.

"Could you be any more perfect?" He held Reid in place as he gently kissed him on the lips, Reid automatically regretted lifting his head. Closing his eyes, he tried desperately not to panic. It was easier said than done. Jason then stroked his face. "Open your eyes, I wanna see your eyes." He whispered. Swallowing hard, Reid obeyed. Jason stared deep into his eyes and couldn't help but notice the slight fear that flickered across them. He kissed him again, this time not allowing Reid to break his gaze. Stroking his face again, he then released his grip. "I think you need a drink."

He shifted away from his captive and walked over to the corner of the room picking up a bottle of whisky. Reid watched him intently, breathing a sigh of relief when the man was no longer near him.

"I got some of this for you." Jason held up a bottle of whisky, identical to the one they had been drinking earlier. "You said you wanted to do it more often, so I thought, why not?" He smiled, turning to fill up a glass. He then came across the room and held out the full glass to Reid. Pulling his face, Reid paled slightly. Clearly feeling quite queezy. "Here. Take it."

Shaking his head, Reid politely refused.

"No thank you, I'm okay." He even managed a small smile.

"But I got it for you." Jason pushed.

Staring at the glass, Reid didn't know what to do. His mind was screaming at him to take it, just to have a few sips. But deep down, he knew that Jason would make him drink it all. He wasn't sure his stomach could take it. But the advice he had given to himself was do whatever he asks. _Why __is __he __offering __you __drink, __Reid? _Hotch's voice asked in his head. _To __weaken __me._He answered. _If__ I'm__ intoxicated, __I__ can't __think__ straight __and __he__ has __the __control._ Reid knew what the pros and cons of both situations were, but he just simply couldn't give his mind freely to Jason. With little physical strength to speak of, Reid knew that his mind was the only thing that could be considered a threat. And he was sure that Jason was more than aware of that.

"I know, Jay." He tried to be friendly and casual. "And that's really kind of you, but like I said, I'm really not much of a whisky drinker."

Jason's face dropped.

"Drink it." He pushed the glass into Reid's hand.

Reid looked up at him, eyes pleading.

"Please, Jay. Don't do this to me." He smiled again, trying to calm the other man down. He really didn't want to lose his senses in this situation. He needed to keep his mind straight.

"I'm doing you a favour, Spence." He stroked his face. "I don't want you to hate me, it'll make things easier to start with. Trust me."

Reid's heart started pounding, he knew exactly what Jason was talking about. The temptation to take the easy route was overwhelming. But he couldn't help but feel that drinking that drink would somehow make the inevitable even more inevitable. At least if he had a clear head, he had some way of fighting it. Or that's what he hoped.

Looking down at the drink, he licked his lips nervously, then placed it on the floor.

"I don't need it. Thank you." He smiled again, his hands were shaking.

Jason's face was completely unreadable, expressionless. He bent down and picked up the glass. Reid watched him examine it for a few moments, he could barely breathe he was so nervous.

Suddenly, Jason looked directly at him. He face was full of anger. Reid's heart leapt in fear. Jason swung the glass straight towards Reid's face and smashed it into his uninjured cheek bone. It smashed, painfully cutting his flesh. The whisky flew into his eyes and soaked his hair and already stained jumper.

He cried out in agony as shards of glass stuck into his face. The force of the blow knocked him sideways and he brought his hands over his face to protect from any further attacks.

"You ungrateful son of a bitch!" Jason screamed at him. "I try to make it easier for you! I knew you would find this hard! And I try to fucking help you and you throw it back in my fucking face!" Jason was then picking up broken shards of glass and throwing them angrily at Reid in a kind of childish strop.

"I'm sorry!" Reid screamed desperately, his voice broke and tears started to come to his eyes. He was in terrified shock. His hands were shaking violently. He wished so much now that he had just taken the drink.

Jason stood over him, watching him shaking in pain and fear. Then suddenly his face crumpled in sadness.

"Oh my god, I'm so so sorry Spence." He grabbed his victim by the shoulders and pulled him up to a sitting position. Reid flinched at the touch, his eyes wide, untrusting. His hands were still defensively up by his face. "I'm so sorry!" Jason knelt in front of Reid, trying to get him to look him in the eyes. When Reid wouldn't, Jason stroked his face again. "Spence, I didn't want to hurt you. If you'd have just done what I asked... it would have all been okay." Blood was running down Reid's face, mixing with tears and whisky. Jason reached up to his cheek to pull out a couple of stray shards of glass. Reid winced as he did so. Jason hissed. "Sorry, sorry." He spoke gently. "Don't cry."

Reid automatically felt embarrassed, he wasn't much of a crier. It must have been the shock. Taking some deep breaths, he managed to gain control of his emotions once again. He did not want to be seen as weak by Jason.

Pulling Reid into an embrace, Jason rocked him back and forth like a child, stroking the back of his head. Reid found it oddly comforting, then he mentally slapped himself for thinking such a thought. _That's__exactly__the__point._He told himself. Associating Jason with anything positive, Reid knew, was a dangerous thing.

Feeling how tense Reid was, Jason started massaging circles on his back. This just made him even more tense. Jason smiled.

"You've never been this close to a man before, have you?" Reid's hands came up to Jason's chest to create some sort of barrier. Before Reid even had chance to react, Jason had grabbed his wrists snapping them down to his sides. The speed and force he used made Reid gasp. He knew this wasn't going somewhere pleasant.

"Please." He whispered, unable to look his captor in the eye.

"Oh god," Jason gasped, "the things you do to me." He brought his face down to Reid's neck, who in return, tilted his head trying to refuse him access. Quickly responding, Jason moved his head to the other side and kissed into the juncture of Reid's neck, pushing him down onto the bed so he was on top of him. Still securely holding his wrists. He gasped again. "You're pure filth." He whispered, completely turned on.

Reid winced at this, no matter how much FBI training he had received over the years, no matter how many books he read, no matter how many different ways he tried to profile this guy, nothing could prepare him for this. The panic was overwhelming, he couldn't help but try to free himself. There was no way he was going to be able to 'play along' with this.

Screwing his eyes tightly shut, he twisted and turned his hands trying to free his wrists from Jason's grip. However, the more he focused on freeing his wrists, the more control Jason was getting of the situation. Reid knew he was trapped. He tried kicking the bigger man off him and rolling him over but Jason just interlocked his own legs with Reid's. Every time Reid struggled, Jason's strength overpowered him. In the sheer panic, Reid's mind started to wander. He thought about Gideon, and how he had said that you didn't need a gun to take down an unsub. He thought about what Gideon might have done in this situation, he cursed himself for never having picked up a weight in his life, for never having made the effort to train himself physically as well as mentally. He thought about Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, how they would deal with this. He knew that a man like Jason could never overpower one of them. He felt sick.

Reid's thoughts were suddenly broken by Jason's hands letting go of his wrists. They quickly came up to pull at his jumper. Reid's hand automatically grabbed Jason's, trying to stop him from removing his clothing.

"No, Jason. Please, please don't." Reid begged.

Grabbing Reid by the collar, Jason suddenly lifted him and pushed him up the bed until his chained right leg was completely straight, the chain was at full stretch. Reid hit at Jason in complete desperation. In return, he received a hard head butt to his eyebrow. Stars danced in front of his eyes as his already punished head complained. His head dropped to the pillow beneath him and his arms, for a few moments, fell limp. This was all the time Jason needed, as he shackled Reid's left arm to the corner of the bed. He now had little room for movement, stretched between two corner of the bed. When Reid came back to his senses, he realised his position and started kicking and hitting desperately. He was terrified.

"Please! Please Jason! I'm begging you, please, just leave me alone." Reid was sweating profusely, his breathing was coming in short sharp gasps, he was moments away from a panic attack. Then Jason stopped, straddling Reid's hips, he sat up, looking down at his captive in his vulnerable position. Reid froze, too nervous to believe that Jason might just leave him alone.

Jason's eyes were clouded with lust as he surveyed the mess beneath him. Reid's hair was stuck to his flushed face, he was covered in sweat, face still bleeding, his clothes were askew and his chest was rising and falling at a disturbing rate.

"Oh god." Jason breathed out, clearly aroused.

Reid once again screwed his eyes shut, tears escaping, running down his face. He kept trying to tell himself that this just wasn't happening. Jason then started running his hands up Reid's chest. He pulled the younger man's shirt out from his trousers and took his hand up underneath Reid's clothing.

"Relax, Spence." He said in a soothing voice. "Relax." Spotting Reid pulling at his bonds, he held his hand steady on his chest, trying to calm him. "You're gonna end up hurting yourself." He leaned over and held Reid's face tight, kissing him hard. "It's no use fighting, Spence." He said gently into his ear. "We're meant to be together. You'll see that." Giving him another quick kiss, Jason then sat up and crawled off his victim. Pulling his clothing back into position, Jason stood up straight. "I'll get you something to eat." With that, he promptly left.

Reid was left panting on the bed, the panic and shock taking over. Angrily he hit out at the mattress with his free arm and leg trying to dispel some of the frustration he was feeling. Feeling utterly helpless, he screamed in frustration banging at the mattress again. His heavy, fast paced breathing then turned into little sobs and he cried, his whole body shaking. He just wished that someone would find him.

* * *

><p>"If his phone's here, he's not been gone long." Rossi stated.<p>

"That's not a comfort, Rossi." Morgan snapped.

"Just saying, he's still gotta be in the area. We need to find out what he drives and alert local police to keep their eyes open." Rossi took out his phone and dialled Garcia. He moved into Reid's bedroom to speak with her, allowing Morgan and Hotch to keep talking.

Morgan was pacing the apartment, taking dramatic steps to avoid the mess.

"What the hell's been going on here? This isn't Reid. Reid is an anal retentive neat freak."

"An anal retentive neat freak who has been convinced that he's mentally ill." Hotch corrected. "It's only natural for him to actually experience some of the symptoms if he has been so strongly convinced."

Morgan picked up one of the glasses on the table.

"Looks like they were drinking."

"So Reid obviously let him in." Hotch added.

"But that doesn't make sense, Hotch. Reid was only just accusing Jason of having something to do with the whole phone number thing. Why would he let him in?"

Hotch dropped his gaze, knowing the answer deep down lay with him.

"Because when everyone's treating you like you're crazy, I suppose you start to believe it."

Morgan looked to Hotch, brows furrowed.

"Hotch, this isn't your fault."

"I sent him home, Morgan. I suspended him and told him he needed psychologically evaluating. If that's not saying 'you're crazy' then I don't know what is." Hotch stood, deep in thought. The guilt was written all over his face.

"Hotch, don't do that, man. Every one of us had our chance to do somethin'. I mean there is still a chance that he is mentally ill and Jason has just used that as an opportunity to get to him."

"I don't think that's the case." Rossi intervened, gaining Morgan and Hotch's attention. "Prentiss and JJ are at Jason's house now. He has a collection of books all about Schizophrenia, the signs, symptoms, everything is in there. Everything he would need to convince Reid that he was going mad."

Morgan shook his head in disbelief, how was this happening? Right under their noses.

"He also has a huge collection of photographs and keep sakes." He paused, knowing this would be bad news. "All Reid's."

"Keep sakes?" Morgan questioned.

"I'll put Prentiss on." Rossi said, dialling her number and switching her to speaker phone.

"Hey." She answered shortly, she was clearly not happy.

"Emily, what have you got?" Hotch asked, his face grave.

"What haven't we got? This guy has charted Reid's life for like the last year. We have literally _hundreds_ of photos, his published works, even a file which seems to contain his whole life history. The access he has been able to gain through his job has been used to it's full potential. Anything he could find out about Reid, he has done."

"Anything that might help us understand where he's taken him?" Morgan asked.

"We're still looking, but the guy appears to have little connection to the outside world. Which is weird."

"How is that weird?" Morgan asked again, finding it quite normal that someone so obsessive has so few friends.

"His level of confidence suggests otherwise." Rossi explained. "This guy is no Reid. He's confident in his abilities, almost to the point of cocky. He had the balls to take a team of BAU profilers and breach our defenses. You don't learn that through isolating yourself."

"But he has such a need to be accepted by Reid." JJ's voice came over the line for the first time. She sniffled, she'd obviously been crying. "Why would he be so confident and then worry so much about what Reid thinks of him?"

"Because he loves him." Hotch said suddenly, in realisation.

"In _his_ way." Rossi added.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked, confused.

"Well the man is clearly a sexual sadist-" Rossi was cut off.

"Yeah, we've more than enough evidence of that here." Prentiss spoke, clearly sickened by something she was looking at.

"-and he is clearly a sadistic stalker. The control he has had over Reid's life for the last week or so has shown that. And the fact that Reid had become so dependent on him, that just strengthens the case. However, with this type of unsub, usually they will have some reason for disliking the victim, something in their life that they want to pull apart. And because of this, they can't resist taunting the victim. But Reid's never had that."

"Rossi, the man made him think he was mad." Morgan shook his head, not understanding where Rossi was going with this.

"Yes, _but_ I don't think that was actually for the purposes of driving Reid mad. I think it was a _way __in_ to fulfil his true aim, which was to have Reid all to himself. A sexual sadist wouldn't necessarily focus all of their attentions on one person like that, unless there was a deeper connection there. The stalking and driving him mad were just a means to an end. The fact is, he's obsessed with Reid and only Reid. Why else would he spend a year of his life working on this?"

"But how does this help Reid?" JJ spoke down the phone, clearly frustrated.

"It doesn't." Morgan said, sharply.

Rossi quickly cut in.

"If we know what his aims are, then we know as much as Reid does. Which can help us predict how he might react. This guys smart. We need to keep our heads in this."

Hotch nodded.

"Dave's right. Just because we know who the unsub and the victim are, it doesn't mean we shouldn't get a working profile."

"Don't call him 'the victim'." Morgan growled. Hotch glanced to Morgan, slightly taken a back. Tears were welled up in the dark man's eyes. "Just don't you call him that. The things that could be happening to him right now, Hotch. He'll be a victim for the rest of his god damn life... So until I know what's happened to him, he ain't no fuckin' victim. You hear?"

They all went quiet for a few moments, Hotch and Rossi stared at Morgan concerned.

"Okay." Hotch answered. His stomach churning at the suggestion of what might be happening at that very second. He tried not to think of it like that. "We need to get the two scenes processed, gather any evidence that may be of use to us. We start from square one."

* * *

><p>Reid had finally managed to calm down, his breathing was back to a regular rate and he had stopped sweating. He felt exhausted. His face was stinging from where it had been battered. He was truly miserable. For the last ten minutes, all he could think about was the team. Did they even know he was missing? He wasn't expected to come back into work, so how would they know? They wouldn't come round to his apartment. No one invaded his privacy like that. They knew he didn't appreciate it. In fact, he could count on one hand the amount of times anyone, aside from him, had actually been in his apartment. He really did have trust issues.<p>

Reid's exhausted mind eventually accepted the fact that the chances of anyone noticing he was missing before his Psych. Eval. on Friday were practically non-existent. The thought devastated him, but also had an oddly calming effect too. At least he wouldn't be wasted his energy on false hope. At least not til Friday anyway. Now he could focus his energies entirely on surviving and keeping his attacker at bay. He hoped that by Friday, he might as least still be in one piece.

He thought about the team again and couldn't help but feel slightly angry. They hadn't believed him. They hadn't believed he wasn't losing his mind. Didn't that technically make this partly their fault? _No._ Reid shook the thoughts from his head. _You __sound __like __him._ _That's __what __he __wants._

Suddenly, Reid heard footsteps coming down the stairs to the room that he was in. He'd decided it was definitely a basement. It had that horrible 'basement feel' to it.

He looked up to see Jason entering with a tray. He smiled brightly.

"Are we a bit calmer now?" Reid didn't answer. Only glared. "I've made your favourite. Ravioli."

Reid looked at the meal. It was no longer his favourite. In fact, he doubted he would ever eat it again after this.

"Now I can either feed it you myself." Reid looked at him in horror. "Or I can trust you. I will let your wrist free and you can eat it yourself. But you have to promise to behave." He spoke to Reid like a child. Ruffling his hair as he did so. "What do you reckon?"

"Free my wrist, please?" Reid asked quietly.

"And you promise you won't start anything?" He leaned over him, looking deep into his eyes.

"I promise." Reid replied, weakly.

Jason reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, he used this to unlock the shackle around Reid's wrist. As he bent over, a pair of handcuffs fell out of his pocket. He picked them up, blushing slightly. Reid looked at them and then to Jason questioningly.

Jason merely smiled uncomfortably, putting them back into his pocket.

"Come on, eat up."

Reid sat up, his head spinning. The last thing he felt like doing was eating, but his stomach growled at him, desperate for nourishment. He had really been punishing himself recently. Not eating much and drinking far more coffee than is healthy. Reluctantly, he grabbed the fork and prodded at a ravioli.

"You need to keep your strength up." Jason added with a hint of innuendo.

Reid felt sick. His fork stopped moving for a few moments whilst he dealt with his emotions. He had never felt so objectified or violated in all his life. Not even after the football pitch incident, and that to date had been the most embarrassing moment of his life, second most terrifying – after Tobias Hankel. Reid wasn't happy to now put this experience to the top of that list. No matter how much Tobias Hankel beat him, it would never compare to the mental torture of having someone physically force themselves on him. He shuddered. Continuing to eat, purely because he knew he had to.

Soon he had finished the meal and had drank the water provided with it. The warm meal had made him tired. He was soon struggling to keep his eyes open, as desperate as he was not to fall asleep around Jason.

"Spence. Wake up." Jason prodded him. He opened his eyes with a start. He must have dozed off for a few moments. The thought worried him. "We're not done yet, Spence. I've done something nice for you there, giving you something to eat. Your favourite meal no less. It's only fair that you do something for me. This relationship has to be equal."

Reid's brows furrowed, clearly concerned now. Before he had a chance to answer Jason, he was rolled onto his front. Panic shot through him once again as Jason climbed on top of him.

"What are you doing?" Reid asked frantically.

"You were wondering what these were for." He pulled out the handcuffs. He grabbed one of Reid's wrists and shoved it behind his back, cuffing him. He then grabbed the other wrist and cuffed that too. Reaching round in front of Reid, between him and the bed, Jason grabbed at Reid's belt buckle.

"Oh god, no, please. Please Jason. Please!" Reid begged, digging his face into the mattress.

Jason started laughing.

"Oh calm down." He pulled the belt free from Reid's trousers. Reid's eyes were tightly shut. Examining the belt, Jason seemed satisfied. He wrapped it around Reid's neck and pulled upwards, trying to guide him off the bed. "Come on." He encouraged. Reid stiffly moved with his captor, finding himself standing at the side of the bed. His eyes darted around, unsurely as Jason's gaze levelled with his. "Get on your knees." He commanded.

Reid's eyes opened wide, his mouth dropped open in shock.

He started stuttering.

"I said, on. Your. Knees. _Now._"

Reid's eyes started to water. Jason pulled the belt tight around Reid's neck cutting off his airway for a few seconds. He coughed trying to recover his air. He was then sent to the floor by a hard blow to the back of the knees.

Crying out, due to the weakness from where he'd been shot, Reid gracelessly fell on to his knees. Wincing as he did so. Reid frantically turned his head away from his captor as he started to unzip his pants.

"Please Jason, don't do this." Begging was starting to become common place for him. 'Playing along' was an option long forgotten once sexual acts became an issue. Reid was under no illusions, fighting wasn't going to get him far, but it would certainly give him some self respect.

Shoving himself forwards, Reid tried to knock Jason over, all Jason did was pull the belt tight again, incapacitating him. Reid fell forwards, with no hands to rescue him. The belt throttled him painfully and he found himself gasping for air.

"Don't fight me, Spence." Jason spoke softly over Reid's coughing. "It'll do you no good." He bent down and dragged him as far away from the bed as the chain on his ankle would allow. With Reid still coughing, he took out a piece of black cloth and blindfolded him.

"Jason! No!" Reid managed to choke out, between coughs. Now his fear of the dark was kicking in.

"Spencer, yes." Jason mocked. Going completely silent, he didn't move.

All Reid could hear was his own panicked breathing. After around twenty seconds, he became nervous.

"Jason?" He asked tentatively. Receiving no answer, he licked his lips nervously. "Jason?" He tried again.

Jason was watching, lust building up in him as he watched Spencer nervously trying to figure out what was going on. Seeing him bound and blindfolded like that gave him a control high like no other and he loved it. He walked around his victim. Reid jumped at the footsteps.

"Jason – what are you doing?" Reid asked nervously. He heard the slight movement of clothes and the clink of a belt buckle. Terrified, he froze. Not knowing exactly where his former friend was.

Slapping Reid hard across the face, Jason aimed to surprise. Which worked. The action caused Reid to jump and gasp loudly. Allowing the older man entry to his mouth.

Reid gagged as the invasive flesh abused him, over and over. Jason held his head tightly with one hand as he had his 'favour' from Reid, the other hand held a small knife firmly to the young man's throat, keeping him under control.

He moaned, obviously enjoying the experience.

"Oh god, Spence. Oh god." He breathed, his breath hitching.

Tears were soaking the piece of cloth covering Reid's eyes. He had never felt so helpless in all of his life. He knew he wasn't weak, he knew people saw him as weak, but he knew he wasn't weak. But at that moment, he felt like the weakest person in the world. He was disgusted with himself. He had become an object.

Reid let his mind slip off to other places. If he didn't, he knew he would be sick at that very moment.

The abuse seemed to go on for an eternity, Jason pushing Reid further and further back until eventually he came with a loud, satisfied moan.

Reid automatically spat, heaving as he did so. He was bent forwards as waves of nausea swept through his body. He was very still for a good minute or so. Trying to come to terms with what had just happened to him.

Jason in this time was getting redressed. He then removed Reid's blindfold and ran a hand through his hair. The touch brought Reid back to reality and he suddenly vomited, bringing up all of his dinner and eventually dry heaving.

Jason just watched him, smiling kindly.

"You feel better now?" He stroked his head again.

"Don't touch me." Reid said, in something of a trance.

Jason started cleaning up the mess Reid had made, he was obviously prepared for it.

"Don't hate me, Spence. I'm teaching you valuable lessons. You'll realise that one day."

Reid's brows furrowed, he couldn't even answer. His mind was in turmoil.

Reaching round the young agent, Jason opened the handcuffs and removed them, putting them back in his pocket. Bending over, he kissed Reid on the top of the head. He didn't react.

"Get some rest." He instructed, and left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone. I hope you have all had a lovely Christmas! Sorry to keep you waiting longer than usual for this chapter, just had a very busy week. It's hard explaining to everyone where you keep disappearing to for hours on end. Lol. Thank you for all the great reviews for the last chapter, I really hope you are all enjoying the story. Please keep reviewing! Apologies for any grammar mistakes, I haven't read this through properly as it is very long and has been written in something of a hurry.  
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**WARNINGS: Same warnings as the last chapter apply. Sexual assault, swearing and violence. Generally Jason is one very sick dude!  
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**ENJOY!**

Hotch stood in the conference room surveying the evidence pinned up on the boards. Photos of Reid's apartment and similar pictures of Jason's house. Numerous pictures of Reid taken from the walls of Jason's bedroom also decorated the wooden boards. They intended to profile Jason's thoughts of Reid by examining the possible reasons for why he chose those pictures in particular. All Hotch could come up with so far was that they were the pictures where Reid looked at his most attractive. His eyes were big and expressive, in some pictures he was smiling fully, teeth on full display. Hotch couldn't help but stare at those pictures. Reid smiled like that so rarely, and when he did it was usually only for a few small seconds, then he would retreat back into his usual self-conscious, nervous state. It made Hotch consider whether Reid was ever truly happy, or whether he lived constantly in a self-doubting, mistrusting world. He furrowed his brows as he looked at another picture of Reid, deep in thought. This was obviously a more recent picture.

Hotch had never noticed how much Reid spoke through his eyes. It sounded ridiculous, he was a profiler, after all. Reading someone's eye contact was part of that job. But working day in, day out with someone, Hotch realised that it had become easy to dismiss Reid's expressions and thoughtfulness as another symptom of his intelligence. But sometimes, as he could see so evidently in this picture, Reid was simply just unhappy and clearly had worries on his mind.

Dismissing his distracting thoughts, Hotch moved to the box of evidence on the table. JJ and Prentiss had collected this evidence from Jason's house. By the looks on their faces when it was placed down on the table, Hotch wasn't going to like what he saw. He had asked for a few moments to go through it all alone and set up the room as their base. But it was more than that, he knew it wasn't an advantage he deserved, but he really didn't think he could manage his own emotions and those of the team right now. He blamed himself, and he needed some time to focus his energies in the right place. He knew blaming himself wouldn't do Reid any good.

Removing the lid to the cardboard box, he found literally hundreds, perhaps even a thousand or so, more photographs of Reid. His face remained calm, but his heart was pounding. He reached his gloved hand into the box and pulled out a pile of photographs. Many of these were damaged. Straight away, he saw why. Jason had been erasing the other team members from the photographs. Some pictures were burned, some had simply been torn, others – particularly photographs involving Morgan – had been scratched at in a mad fury. Especially where Morgan had been touching Reid, with a simple hand on the shoulder or ruffle of the hair. Even where there had just been eye contact, Jason had erased all of Reid's interactions. Hotch stared at the mutilated pictures. He was starting to understand the level of control Jason wanted to have over Reid. And the thought made him feel physically sick.

JJ peered around the door, seeing Hotch had organised the room somewhat, she pushed the door open and entered. The rest of the team followed her in.

"Hotch, you ready?" She asked gently, glancing back to Morgan giving him a knowing look.

Coming out of his trance, Hotch met JJ's gaze, his eyes betraying nothing.

"Yeah." He answered simply. "Sit down." The team all sat in their chairs, exhausted. "What do we have?"

Prentiss was the first to speak.

"Well, you can see most of what we found here in this room. Like I said, the guy has documented Reid's life for the last year at least. He has thousands of pictures. He must have followed Reid whenever he wasn't here. There are literally hundreds of photographs at a time, all taken on the same days. He must have just followed him round taking as many pictures as he could in the little time he had spare."

"The most we found from one day of shooting was five films worth." JJ spoke dryly. "It's all in there." She motioned to the box on the table.

"Most disturbing though is his obsession with carving people out of Reid's life. Any pictures with us on have either been defaced or we have been removed from the photographs entirely." Prentiss stated in a matter of fact professional tone.

Hotch pushed the photographs into the centre of the table, holding one back.

"He resents anyone involved in Reid's life." Rossi commented.

"Not only that, but anyone who _touches_ Reid." Prentiss corrected, presenting an example of a photo horrifically defaced because of the slightest touch. "This is quite clearly sexual."

Morgan winced at how brutally honest Emily's tone was. The team went silent for a few moments, trying to gather their thoughts.

Hotch pushed another photograph into the centre of the table.

"It seems there's another thing that gets him equally outraged." He looked to Morgan. "You."

Morgan looked at the picture, a dark skinned hand was on Reid's shoulder and the young man was smiling broadly. He couldn't even make the rest of himself out in the picture. It had been scratched beyond recovery.

"He has rage towards me?" Morgan sounded offended.

"Well it makes sense." Hotch said. "You look out for Reid. You always have."

"We all have, Hotch." Morgan spoke, his tone frustrated.

"Derek, he trusts you. More than me, more than Hotch. JJ, Prentiss and Garcia barely figure in this guy's head. He sees Reid's relationships as he sees his own. Sexual towards men." Rossi passionately argued.

"It's only natural for a man like him to look upon you as the biggest threat." He took the photograph back and held it up. "And a photograph like that, is going to fuel that anger."

"I had my hand on his shoulder, god damn it! He's a friend!" Morgan was getting very defensive. "Just because he views Reid like some sexual toy to be controlled, it doesn't mean I do!"

"Morgan." Hotch warned.

"I'm sorry Hotch, but this guy fuckin' sickens me!" The team looked around uncomfortably. Hotch knew these were old issues coming to the surface and he was desperate not to be insensitive, but in the end, this was about Reid right now. And Morgan would have to put his own demons aside. "What the fuck is he doing to him right now? What kind of sick fantasy is he playing out right now?"

"That's enough." Hotch commanded. "This is not constructive."

"Fuck constructive!" Morgan argued back. "The chances of us doing anything _constructive_ walked out that door when Reid did."

"What, so you're just gonna give up on him?" JJ asked angrily.

"I didn't say that." Morgan lowered his voice dangerously.

"No? So what are you saying Morgan?" JJ shouted, remembering how frustrated she felt with him when he indirectly blamed her for Tobias.

"What I'm saying is this guy has a 2 hour head start on us. Whether he has taken Reid two hours away, or is just round the corner, that is two hours he has ahead of us. Do you know what he could do in that time?" He practically spat. "He could tear Reid's life apart!" Morgan banged his fist on the table, his eyes started to water. His voice broke slightly. "We're probably already too late."

The team looked at him, horrified, not sure whether it was because he had actually said it, or whether it was because they had thought it themselves.

Derek stared hard at the photo that was once him and a smiling Reid. He couldn't believe this was happening to the kid. Taking a deep breath, he stood up straight and left the room muttering about needing some air.

Prentiss went to stand up, looking to Hotch.

"Shall I?"

"No." He answered. "We'll all have our moments. The important thing is that the rest of us keep working."

JJ ran a shaky hand over her face, sighing heavily. She hated confrontation, particularly with the her friends, and particularly when it was about friends. She wanted to run, she wanted to cry, she wanted to kill the man who had taken the godfather to her son. But she knew, she had to stay focused. Reid needed them all, more than he ever had before. Even more than with Hankel. There was no chance of him being able to drop them clues this time.

"Was there anything that might suggest where he has taken Reid?" Asked Rossi.

"There were a few addresses, relatives names. But we checked with Garcia, any close relatives are dead. He has an aunt in Philadelphia, but she hasn't heard from him in over ten years. His father died five years ago. We wondered whether he left him any property in his will, but no such luck." Prentiss answered, calmly.

"Garcia also checked home records for Jason and Raven Drive appears to be his only and last known address for the last two years, since he moved here. Any links to previous residences are long gone." JJ added.

"What about friends?" Hotch questions.

"He doesn't actually appear to have any. At all." Prentiss raises her eyebrows as she says this.

"Hardly surprising if he's been fixated on Reid for the last year." Rossi commented. "It's hard to keep friends when you have little interest in them."

"So what do we actually have? Any links to any properties at all?" Hotch asked, feeling slightly frustrated. This didn't go unnoticed.

"None that we could find." JJ replied, equally jaded.

"Wherever he has taken him must have a personal meaning to him." Rossi stated confidently. "It has to."

"Why do you say that?" Asked Emily.

"Because he is a control freak, he has meticulously planned every stage of this right from the beginning. He has to have the control, and these photos show he has severe insecurities too. He simply wouldn't take Reid somewhere he didn't feel completely relaxed and comfortable."

"Okay, so do you think that means he's close?" JJ asked.

"I think it's impossible to tell exactly where he is. We need the points to co-ordinate from and we simply don't have enough information. Without a geographical profile, we're looking for a needle in a haystack." Rossi answered, looking flat, remembering Reid's penchant for map reading. If he were there then, Rossi bet he would find them some points to work from.

"Okay, well Emily, JJ, I want you to go through every aspect of his life. Work with Garcia, find out where he shops, he eats, his activities, everything. Anyone he has come into contact with, anyone could be a lead. We need to start building that geographical profile." Hotch instructed. The two ladies nodded. "I think we're trying to jump ahead too much. We know Reid and Jason personally and I think we're forgetting the basics. We need to start from the very beginning."

"Victimology." Rossi stated.

"Dave, you, me and Morgan will look at that. Why Reid? Why Stephen Thompson? And if we can bring him in for interview, Prentiss, I'd like you to deal with that." Prentiss nodded. Not looking forward to that.

"I don't think that's going to be possible, sir." Garcia said meekly from the doorway. No one knew how long she had been standing there. They turned to her, intrigued. Clearing her throat uncomfortably, she continued. "Stephen Thompson committed suicide a year after he was attacked."

The energy in the room was at rock bottom, they all went completely silent as the implications of Garcia's discovery weighed on them all.

* * *

><p>Reid shifted awake from the sleep he didn't realise he was in. His body moaned, sore from the punishment it had taken within the last however many hours. He rubbed his eyes, feeling completely groggy, looking around, his heart sank. He was still there.<p>

He had been covered by a blanket as he slept, he could only assume that Jason had done it. Reid shuddered. _Jason._

What he had done to him when he last saw him had played on his mind for what seemed like an eternity. His emotions would swing between anger, sickness and feeling completely numb. But right now, he just felt anxious. Feeling vulnerable lay down, he sat himself up and was relieved to find that his head no longer pounded, just ached. He had no idea where Jason was, or when he was going to come back. Pushing aside the feeling of impending doom, Reid decided it was time to do something useful. Actually profile the bastard.

_Right. He's a sexual sadist first and foremost._ Reid shuddered. _He seems to be a psychopath, he believes he's in love with me, but it is more likely an obsession used to justify his actions. He is highly organised and extremely confident, although he does seem to crave my approval, which makes him unstable and insecure._ If he feels that I am looking down on him or disrespecting him then he'll lash out. The glass flashed through his mind. _He is obsessed with the idea of us being together and this obsession means that he is unlikely to ever let me go free. The obsession rationalises in his mind the sadistic pleasure he gains from being in control. My lack of compliance whilst initially is seen as a put down, hence the anger, it also fuels the fantasy. If I were to comply, it would cause a conflict in his mind between the sexual sadist and the part of him that is truly convinced that he has feelings for me._ Reid shuddered again. _Comply._ Pushing the thought away, he continued. _He has most likely brought me to a place that he knows well and he has decent access to. It's not easy to get a double bed down into a basement without someone knowing. Although, it doesn't feel like a house, but if it is a house, it is most likely empty. This place means something to him, he has to feel secure. It's either somewhere he's lived, worked or socialised. Although the chances of it being somewhere he has socialised are slim._ He gazed around the room some more. _No apparent means of escape. The question is, what is his ultimate aim? Will he keep me here? Will he kill me? He's not likely to let me go, his need for control would be too strong._ Reid sighed. _He will eventually kill me. It's the natural progression. The escalation. When he's no longer feeling satisfied by me, he will kill me._

Reid stared down at the mattress, completely depressed. This was never how he thought he was going to spend his last days.

Suddenly, heavy footsteps came down the stairs. Reid shuddered. He did not look up.

"Morning, sleepy head." Jason said cheerfully, walking in with a tray of breakfast. Boiled eggs and toast, orange juice and a strong coffee. He placed it down on the bed in front of Reid and ruffled his hair. Reid just stared at it. Jason sat on the chair in the corner of the room and watched his captive. "You're not still angry about last night, are you?" He leaned back in the chair, a genuine look of surprise on his face. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Reid's brows furrowed, he still didn't give him eye contact. Swallowing back the nausea that was once again rising, he answered simply.

"No." It was no more than a whisper.

They both sat in silence for a good minute or so. Reid feeling particularly self-conscious.

"I thought you might need something to eat." Jason gestured to the tray in front of Reid. This time, Reid looked him in the eye, his expression turning cold.

"Thanks." He replied, with a hint of sarcasm. Jason smiled.

"Don't be like that! I'm just trying to make it up to you, Spence. I know this is all very different for you."

"Don't call me that." Reid spoke through gritted teeth.

"What?" Jason smiled innocently. "I like Spence, it's cute." Sighing heavily, Reid rubbed a hand down his face. Jason stood and walked over to the bed. Suddenly he grabbed Reid by the hair, the young agent gasped in surprise. Gripping him tightly, Jason brutally slammed Reid's head into the bed post. Reid let out a loud cry. "Don't you dare fucking tell me what I can and can't do!" He released him.

Reid's hands automatically went up to the painful spot where he had been hit. He shielded himself from Jason.

"I'm sorry!" He cried out quickly. He then felt a soothing hand rubbing his back.

"I know, Spence. I know." Jason then moved back to the corner of the room and sat down again. "But for a genius, you ain't half stupid sometimes. How long is it going to take you to realise that I have complete control here?"

Reid looked at him, his eyes slightly pleading. He wasn't quite sure what he was pleading for, he knew the man was not going to let him go, he'd just dealt with that realisation. Perhaps it was some sort of kindness, the sort he'd shown when they were friends. Reid looked away. _We were never 'friends'._

"I don't know what you expect me to do." Reid sighed.

The statement caught Jason slightly off guard. His brows furrowed for a second, clearly not sure about his answer. This did not go unnoticed. He then softened his face.

"I just want you to be happy."

Reid could have laughed out loud at this, but instead he kept his head down and spoke quietly.

"But I'm not. How can I be when you're keeping me here against my will?" He looked up sadly, hoping to reach Jason's human side. "You're hurting me, Jay."

Jason's eyes flickered angrily.

"I'm not hurting you, Spence! I'm saving you! Saving you from the people who really hurt you!" He moved quickly across to Reid, getting onto his knees and grabbing his hands. Reid flinched. "You're safer here with me than you have ever been with them!" Reid looked at him like he was crazy. "I've rescued you, I've got you away from the loneliness, the pain your colleagues cause you. It doesn't take a genius to see that you weren't happy." He pulled a number of pictures out of his pocket. All pictures of Reid with other members of the team. "Look," He pointed to Reid's expression. "Look there, you don't look happy. And those feelings are directed at him!" Reid stared at the picture of him looking unhappily at Hotch. It was clear they were discussing something quite disturbing, probably related to a case. But Jason was taking the pictures out of context. He pulled out another one. "And look!" It was him and JJ. "Another unhappy picture!" He reeled more and more off. "And another, and another, and another! Don't you get it, Spence? These people are no good for you!"

Reid shook his head in denial.

"No. My team care, they care more than anyone has ever cared about me." Reid stared Jason straight in the eyes, unflinching. Jason's stomach did a little flip, his need to control was overwhelming him again.

"Really." He said sarcastically.

"Really." Reid said, undeterred.

Jason stood and walked around the room slowly.

"Well if they care that much, how come they never asked about you?" Reid tried his best not to look confused.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Reid simply stated.

"Today, at work. They never asked how you were. In fact, they barely spoke about you at all."

Reid's brows furrowed.

"You've not been into work." Reid tested.

Jason showed him his watch. 12.30pm.

"Lunch hour, Spence. I clearly exhausted you yesterday, you have slept for hours."

Reid shook his head, clearly confused.

"No. No, I've not slept that long. I know I haven't."

"Haven't you?" Jason said gently, "well then you must be in a different time zone to us then. I saw your team this morning."

Reid looked up at Jason searchingly.

"You wouldn't go into work. They would be looking for me."

"Only if they thought you were missing." Jason taunted cruelly. "Right now, you're just a mentally ill liability who has pissed everyone off. Hotch has ordered the team to back off and give you time to sort your head out."

Reid shook his head, feeling slightly panicked.

"No, someone would have gone to check on me by now."

"I did." Jason said kindly.

"No, someone from the team. They'd have called and when they found no answer, they would have gone looking for me."

Jason looked at him sympathetically.

"Oh Spence."

"You're lying." Reid accused, no doubt in his mind.

"Why would I do that?" Jason smiled kindly.

"Because you want control, and if you make me think that I'm crazy that the team have turned against me then I will only have you to depend on."

"Interesting." Jason pondered.

Reid turned confrontationally towards Jason, feeling stronger with the back up of his profile.

"But you're forgetting something, Jason. I'm a profiler, and whatever you're doing, I know. I can read you, every little thing you do. It's my job, so if you are planning minds games, I wouldn't bother."

Jason stared hard at Reid, loving the strength he was suddenly seeing in the young agent.

"Okay, you got me." He held his hands up. "I manipulated you, I admit. I want to be part of your life, your team get in the way, I want rid of them. So yes, I rang Bennington. I did that, I knew it would make the team trust me, as I knew they were suspicious of me. I also got you drunk, as I know you're not exactly experienced when it comes to relationships and I knew you would fight me if I tried to tell you how I feel. But I did all of this for you. I saw you were struggling, and I saw your team doing nothing! Nothing to help you! Then I watched you get the shit kicked out of you by those brothers, and still they did nothing. I watched you losing things, and they did nothing. I watched you getting depressed and they. Did. Nothing!" Jason was getting angry now. But so was Reid.

"You watched me getting depressed?" He spat. "You watched me lose stuff?" He stood now, wincing as his abused body ached. "What the hell are you talking about? The only reason why you had to watch anything was because you made sure that I thought I was crazy! _You_ did this to me! Nobody else!"

Jason stared at him, horrified for a few moments. Reid all of a sudden felt incredibly nervous, he searched Jason's face.

"No, Spencer. No. I rang Bennington, I gave you whisky. That's all... That's all I did. I took advantage, I know. But that's all I ever did." Jason look Reid right in the eyes, his gaze didn't falter. Reid's did. He started shaking his head.

"No. You're lying." His voice had nothing like the conviction it had only a few moments before.

Jason moved towards Reid and took his hand. Reid was too confused to complain.

"No, Spencer. I'm not."

"You're trying to make me trust you." Reid sounded like a child.

"Spence, I just told you what I did. I have no reason to believe that you will ever trust me again. What use do I have in lying to you now? I have manipulated you when you were vulnerable, I've betrayed your trust I know. What use is there in me lying to you now? I have you here, you're not going anywhere. You don't trust me. If I had been clever enough to make you think you were crazy, do you not think I would use that against you?" Reid was obviously conflicted. "I needed to get you out of there. Away from that place, those people."

"So you made me think the team was making me crazy."

"No, Spencer. No!" He grabbed Reid by the shoulders and shook him. "I did not do that to you! I saw what was happening to you and I _protected_ you. I took you away from it."

"And you used it against me!"

"YES! Yes I did Spence, but _only_ to save you. Do you not understand? I was saving you!"

Reid pushed Jason backwards, not wanting to hear it.

"NO! You are lying, you want me to turn against my team. I'm not stupid!"

Jason felt anger twitch through his body and he launched himself at Reid, tackling him down onto the bed. The pair struggled, each trying to gain the upper hand. Finally Jason straddled Reid, pushing his hands down to the bed. He was pinned with Jason looking down on him.

"Now _listen_!" He hissed. "Do you trust me?" Reid turned his head away. Jason released one hand and grabbed Reid by the hair, forcing him to look at him. "Do you fucking trust me?"

"NO!" Reid shouted as Jason pulled at his head again.

"Will you ever trust me again?" Jason pressed. Reid squeezed his eyes shut as the hand in his hair tightened, he tried to release some of the pressure using his free hand but to no avail.

"No." He ground out. Jason then grabbed Reid by the face, Reid let out a little yelp as Jason caught his cheek bone.

"Then why the fuck would I lie about this? You tell me, you fucking genius. What exactly is it that I have to gain? You have just said you'll never trust me. I have you here, I know at some point your team will start looking for you, they will have to, but that barely concerns me. You can't go anywhere, it's not like you trusting your team actually affects your chances of getting out of here. I already have your team well and truly out of the fucking way! So what more could I possibly want?"

"You want me to have nothing to fight for."

"Spence, I don't care whether you fight or not. To be honest, I find this whole new found strength thing rather arousing. So why the fuck would I wanna get rid of that?" Reid found himself lost for words. "The fact of the matter is, Spencer, I gain _nothing_ out of lying about that. _Nothing_ at all."

"You get to see me suffer." Reid quickly countered, his thoughts desperately trying to arrange themselves.

"Oh Spence," Jason pinned down his free hand again, moving down to kiss Reid on the neck, he spoke in between kisses. "I find this... a much... more effective... means of doing that."

Reid squirmed under his captor.

"Get off me." He ordered desperately.

"Not a chance." Jason whispered into his ear. Still kissing. "Don't you understand?" He kept whispering and kissing. "I have all of the control here anyway, Spence. I just simply don't need any more."

"No." Reid whispered, his belief in his mental sanity was starting to shatter. He couldn't argue with Jason's logic. There really was no reason for the man to lie. If anything, he should claim responsibility for making Reid believe he was going crazy. If he had indeed, deceived 6 FBI profilers, that was surely something a man like him should be proud of?

"The question is..." He licked up to Reid's ear. "Spence," he whispered lustfully, making Reid shudder. "Is it actually your mind that's letting you down?" He stopped and looked Reid dead in the eye. "Or is it the necessary budget cuts that each team is having to take?"

Reid stuttered.

"B-Budget cuts? There are no budget cuts."

Jason smiled, leaving go of Reid and standing up, he licked his lips as he surveyed Reid sitting up quickly and shyly readjusting his clothing.

"What have I told you about e-mail? If you had e-mail Spence, you would know about these things!"

"I receive hard copies of all bureau notifications." Reid countered, defending his anti-technology opinions.

"Yes, and on your desk you currently have two weeks' worth. I checked." Reid blushed, he knew his paper work had been getting on top of him. "This notification was circulated, gosh, about a week ago. Stating that due to statutory budget cuts, it is likely that there will be job losses, and any agents who may have an interest in transferring to any other offices/fields should express an interest within the next 21 days to be considered. Team supervisors were also asked to assess and evaluate the effectiveness of their teams and individuals within them. I know this because SSA Lewis was talking to me about the possibility of Technical Analysts being shared between teams and they had been asked to evaluate the performances of each T.A." Reid just stared at Jason, lost for words. "So I don't know what you think, Spencer, about who would go from your team. But the timing of it all ain't half strange." He went to sit back in the corner of the room, never taking his eyes off the young agent. "I mean how much do you really trust your team, Spencer? I mean, _really_ trust them? And how much do you think they trust you?" Reid looked up, concern in his eyes. "You've been kidnapped, been through drug addiction, you've willingly walked yourself into dangerous situations completely unarmed on numerous occasions, you've been infected by anthrax and now you're suffering from debilitating headaches and are seemingly having a psychological break down."

"I'm _not_ having a psychological break down." Reid said, dangerously.

"Perhaps not, but with a background like yours, it's hardly unbelievable is it? And if you were to 'apparently' have a sudden mental break down, who would ask questions? Surely the bureau – with a background like yours, remember – would probably find it almost... justified, their hands 'would be tied', so to speak. Or at least that's what they would say."

Reid stared into space for a good few minutes. Jason just watched him, as the implications of what he had just said, sank in. Jason was finally breaching his defenses. He knew Reid's mind would be hard to crack, but his mind and his trust issues were the very issues that could tear him apart. Jason knew that if he focused there, Reid's defenses would soon be broken.

Jason moved over to Reid and sat next to him, placing an arm around his shoulders. Reid didn't even flinch.

"I'm sorry." Jason said softly. "I've watched this happening for the last week and I just had to get you out of there."

Reid sighed.

"You don't care about me, you're a sadistic psychopath." Reid replied, his voice completely monotone.

"Oh Spence," Jason laughed. "Okay, okay I admit, I'm a sadist. That is where I get my kicks, always has been. I don't apologise for that." Reid looked at him like he was crazy. Jason tightened his arm around his shoulders. "It doesn't mean I don't care about you. I don't want to see other people hurting you. I'm crazy about you, Spence."

Reid suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable, he cursed himself for letting his guard down. He had let Jason control his emotions so much that he hadn't registered the danger he was still in. Feigning a smile, he tried to shuffle away, mumbling a 'thanks' to him as he did so.

But he was too late. Reaching across Reid and pushing the tray onto the floor, Jason then leapt on top of Reid again. A similar struggle to before took place and once again Reid found himself underneath Jason, pinned to the bed. They were both panting heavily.

"When are you going to learn? Fighting will do you no good, Spencer."

Feeling the frustration building, Reid's anger level was dangerously high, he was angry with the team, he was angry with Jason but most of all, he was angry with himself, for ever trusting any of them. He flipped. He bucked and kicked out with his legs and punched out with his arms, managing to catch Jason off guard. He punched the man square in the nose, he felt a slight pang of surprise which normally would have stopped him from carrying on, but in this state he was desperate. He kept hitting until he had enough leverage to throw Jason off him. Reid got himself straight off the bed, and stood in a defensive position, ready to tackle him again if he came near him.

Jason looked up in shock at the smaller, younger man. Completely caught off guard by the sudden display of violence. Shaking his head, he gave a sadistic smile, brushed himself off and stood.

"I've gotta give you credit, Spencer. You are _full_ of surprises. The punch to the nose was a particularly nice touch."

"Touch me again and I will give you some more." Reid said in a threatening voice that didn't even sound like his own.

Jason started laughing, Reid automatically felt self-conscious. Some of his anger dissipated and embarrassment set in. He felt like he was at school again. Jason kept laughing. Seeing his slightly hurt look, Jason stopped himself.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Spencer." He wiped a tear from his eye. "That's just the funniest thing I've ever seen."

"Don't mock me." Reid warned, his cheeks flushed. Jason laughed again. "I'm serious." Reid continued, although all he wanted to do now was cry.

"Serious?" Jason's face suddenly dropped. "You don't know what serious is." He moved towards Reid, like a predator towards prey. Reid's hands came up defensively, any threat he previously may have posed had deserted him.

"Stay away from me." He tried to sound strong, god he tried.

Suddenly Jason kicked Reid square in the stomach, he felt like he'd been hit by a truck. The kick was followed by a quick succession of 3 punches to the head and back, and then another kick, this time to the shoulder knocking him backwards. Reid landed hard on the floor, his back hitting painfully against the side of the bed. He gasped for air, completely in shock.

Jason grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up so they were face to face.

"Now that is how you fight, you fucking child! Stand up!" Reid managed to stand up by himself, he swayed slightly, his eyes were wide, hair hanging in his face. "Now hit me." Jason ordered.

"What?" Reid asked, nervously.

"Hit me." He ordered again. Reid licked his lips nervously, unsure what to do. "Fucking hit me!" He shouted.

In panic, Reid lunged for him, only for his fist to be caught in mid air and twisted behind his back. He yelped in pain. Jason head butted the side of his head and Reid fell forwards when he was released.

"Get up." Jason ordered again. Reid looked to him tiredly. "Get up." He said firmly. Reid obeyed. "Try again." Feeling highly frustrated, Reid flung himself at Jason again. This time Jason grabbed his arm and punched him square in the chest twice, winding him severely. Reid collapsed to the floor, holding his chest, unable to regain his breath.

"Get up." Jason ordered again. Reid looked at him desperately. "Get up." He repeated. Reid shook his head, still gasping for breath. "Get the fuck up. Now." Jason instructed, dangerously. Reid closed his eyes, struggling to get up again. It took a good thirty seconds, but Reid finally regained his breath and was stood on his own two feet.

"Try again." Reid just shook his head again. He couldn't do this. What good was it doing him? "Again." This time Reid half heartedly kicked out at Jason. Violently, Jason grabbed his leg and twisted it, practically flipping Reid over. Reid screamed in agony as his previously injured knee struggled with the abuse. Tears clouded his eyes and he clung onto the knee, desperately trying to relieve the pain.

"Get up." Jason ordered again. Shaking his head at Reid's heavy breathing, he grabbed him by the hair. "Get up!"

"I can't!" Reid's broken voice shouted. Tears ran down his face now. He knew the point Jason was trying to make, and he had made it very well.

Reid was now sat with his back against the bed. Jason then sat behind him on the bed, one leg either side of the young agent. He stroked Reid's hair.

"Sssshh... it's okay, Spence." Reid's head dropped to his knee. "I just hope you understand now."

Reid nodded.

"I do... I do." He tried to pull himself away from Jason's grasp, but then he produced the handcuffs again. Reid's eyes opened wide and he tried to shoot forwards, but his painful knee got in the way. Jason managed to grab his right wrist and cuffed it, soon subduing his left one and cuffing it to the right, behind his back, looped through the side of the bed. Reid was stuck to the side of the bed, sat on the floor with his back up against it. He rested his head back so he could look up at Jason. "Please..." he begged. "Please just leave me alone, Jay. If you've ever cared about me, you wouldn't want to do this to me. Please." Jason just ran his hand down Reid's chest, then blindfolded him. "No." Reid whispered. Knowing what was coming. Jason pulled his head back and kissed him, upside down, fully on the lips. At that angle, Reid didn't have the strength to pull his head away.

Jason moaned at the kiss, leaning over Reid, as he was with his legs either side, it gave him complete access to his victim and he ran his hand down Reid's chest, reaching his groin. He gave a tight squeeze and Reid gasped. Taking that opportunity, Jason deepened the kiss, exploring Reid's mouth with his tongue. Reid felt sick, he desperately wanted to bite but for some reason, he couldn't find the courage. He was stilled by shock. Jason started fumbling with Reid's button on his trousers and Reid started to protest, making noises, trying to get Jason to stop. Jason pulled away from the kiss and pushed his hand into the younger man's trousers.

"No Jason, please." Reid gasped as Jason's hand grabbed his most intimate place.

"Oh Spencer. Don't be so shy." Jason mocked. Jason's hand started moving up and down, trying to bring Reid to arousal. Reid's head was tipped forwards, trying to push Jason's arm out of the way. He didn't mind too much, he liked it more when Reid tried to fight him to no avail. "Nothing is going to help, Spence." He whispered.

Jason continued moving his hand up and down, first he started slowly, then his hand speeded up its strokes. Reid gasped, turning bright red with embarrassment as his body started to respond to the unwanted touch.

"That's it, Spence, that's it." Jason continued to whisper. Reid's breathing was getting heavy now.

"Please... stop." Reid continued pleading, his voice clouded by unwanted arousal.

"Why? When you're enjoying it so much?" Jason mocked again.

Noticing that Reid was just about to bite his arm, he speeded up his strokes again. Reid gasped once more and his head dropped forwards. He was losing control.

Jason slowed down his strokes and grabbed Reid's chin with his other hand, pulling Reid's head back. Reid pushed his head forwards, trying desperately to stop his face from looking up at Jason. Jason once again speeded up the strokes and strengthened his grip. Reid moaned lightly as his body responded, losing control of his head. This allowed Jason to pull his head back and engaged Reid's mouth in a passionate kiss. As Jason concentrated more on the kiss, his strokes slowed down.

Eventually Jason stopped kissing Reid, and Reid dropped his head forwards a shattered sob escaping his lips.

Jason pushed the young agent's head to the side and kissed him on the neck, seriously speeding up the strokes. Reid gasped and panted as his body allowed him no control over his reactions. Pulling Reid's blindfold off, Jason then grabbed him by the forehead and held his head firmly so he could see his reactions. Speeding up his strokes once more he intended to finish him off.

Reid has his eyes tightly closed, tears running down his face. Jason kissed his cheek.

"Don't cry." He whispered, kissing his neck. This only made Reid cry more. As Jason was finishing him off, Reid started panting heavily, losing control of all of his senses. Jason pulled his head back further so he could look down on Reid's face as he came. Reid's whole body tensed and Jason took his mouth into a bruising kiss silencing Reid's distressed cry. He felt Reid's body go limp after he climaxed and started massaging his chest with his hands. He reached down and released the handcuffs. Reid simply sat staring at the wall in complete turmoil. He hated himself right now. Jason moved in front of Reid, pulling him up to standing. He pulled Reid up against him, and Reid weakly tried to fight him off. His hands roamed all over Reid's body then slammed him to the bed behind him. Quicker than Reid could fight, Jason chained his arms and loose leg to the bed. Reid was begging now.

"No, Jason, please. Please stop. That's enough, please." He couldn't stop crying.

Jason merely stroked his face.

"Oh Spence. You're so selfish. Why do you deserve all the fun?" He said salaciously. He pulled at the button on his own trousers and allowed his own erection to spring forwards. Reid closed his eyes, feeling dizzy with panic.

"Ah, ah, ah." Jason said to him, like a child. "Oh no you don't. Eyes open Spence." He pulled a knife from his pocket and put it against Reid's throat. Another sob escaped Reid's lips as he felt the knife. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He opened his eyes, tears ran down his face. "Good." Jason moaned as he rubbed himself up against his captive. Reid felt so ashamed. He was sweating profusely and his whole body was shaking with shock, but he couldn't move, both the shackles and the knife kept him firmly in place. Jason explored his body with his hands, no where was left untouched. Reid was grateful that he still had layers of clothing protecting him somewhat. Although Jason's hands still went underneath them, he, at least, didn't feel exposed. Bringing the knife back up to Reid's neck, Jason threatened him again.

"Open." Reid made no movement, he knew what was coming and he felt sick. He couldn't do this again. Grabbing his face tightly and painfully, Jason shook his head. "Fucking open your mouth!" He shouted right in Reid's face. Reid sobbed again. "You're fucking pitiful!" He spat, forcing Reid to open his mouth with his hands and the knife.

Once again he violated Reid with his hard flesh. Reid gagged, and struggled to get away but it was all to no avail. Forced to keep eye contact with Jason throughout the whole ordeal, he once again let his mind wander off to happier places. Times where he felt like he belonged in the world. After an agonising ten minute assault, Jason finally came.

Jason finally let go of Reid and wiped his victim's mouth. Reid made no move. He just stared at the ceiling, his eyes empty.

"Spence?" Jason nudged him gently. No response. "Spence?" He tried again with another nudge. This time he came round. Blinking away the dream-like state, Reid looked at Jason. His eyes still expressionless, but his body started shaking. Jason released Reid's arms and he automatically curled in on himself. Jason leaned over him, rubbing his back and legs. "I've gotta go back to work now, Spence. Can I have a kiss?" Reid didn't respond. Jason leaned over and kissed him on the neck. "I'll see you later, try and eat something." He gestured to the tray.

Then he promptly left. When Reid heard the door at the top of the stairs shut, he finally broke down. His body was racked with painful sobs and his body shook violently. He cried harder than he could ever remember. He just wanted this to be over.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry to keep you waiting for an update again folks. Let's just put it this way, a chapter as long as this is not written in a matter of minutes ;) Even though I have just spent 3 hours solid writing around 10 pages. I haven't read through this completely, mostly as on my word processor it is 21 pages. So it's pretty epic. If you spot any mistakes however, please feel free to correct me. Thank you for all of your lovely reviews. Particularly to CMSP for your bloody epic review! It was like War and Peace! Thanks a lot :) They are my favourite sorts of reviews *hint hint***

**Right, usual warnings apply.**

**WARNINGS: Violence, sexual assault, non-con, swearing, etc etc... Don't like, don't read please x**

"What have we got Garcia?" Prentiss entered the Technical Analyst's office with JJ in tow.

"Well I've been tracking his card payments, all I can find as regular places he visits are the Coffee Stop on the corner-"

"Reid's favourite." JJ cut in sadly.

"Yeah," Garcia tried to ignore the sadness in JJ's voice. "He's also signed up to a gym, he pays as he goes, and he goes regularly."

"How regularly?" Prentiss asked, curious.

"Three to four times a week."

"Anywhere else?" Prentiss pressed, desperately hoping for more links.

"No sugar, zip. There are monthly payments for car insurance and various others necessities and also some online purchases, but that's it. Generally nothing suspicious. It looks like all he does is work, drink coffee and go to the gym. But obviously I can't account for cash payments for anything."

"Great." JJ sighed, angrily sarcastic.

"Well no lead is a bad lead. I suppose we should go and check out the gym, see if anyone can shed any light on his activities. If he's there up to four times a week, someone must know him." Prentiss spoke confidently, hoping beyond hope that the trip might be some help. "Thanks Garcia." She squeezed her friend's shoulder and went to leave the room. But she was stopped in her tracks.

"I can't believe this is happening." Garcia said sadly, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"None of us can." JJ replied.

"We'll get him back." Prentiss said, strongly.

"How? We have no leads."

"JJ, we can't think like that. We have one lead and we shouldn't ignore it. It could be the key to everything." Prentiss urged them both to be more optimistic.

"This is all my fault." Garcia said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"No, Garcia, no it's not!" Prentiss said forcefully.

"Emily, I worked with Jason day in, day out. I saw him everyday, and I never noticed. I never noticed anything was strange about him at all."

"But you wouldn't." Prentiss replied, "he's very clever, he knows exactly how to hide himself."

"But he used to ask me questions about Reid. Like, now that I think about it, it was a weird amount of questions. And I didn't spot that."

"What sort of questions?" JJ asked, her brows furrowing.

"I dunno, just loads of stuff, like how long has he been in the FBI, what I think about him, whether he's really as clever as he seems. All stuff like that. I can't believe I didn't make a connection." She shook her head in frustration, another tear rolling down her face.

"Garcia, it's not your job to profile people." Prentiss said reassuringly. "You trusted him, it's easy to miss."

"What if we can't find him?" Garcia asked quietly, now she really was crying. JJ's eyes started to tear up too.

"We will find him, we will." Prentiss urged, starting to feel like she was going to well up too. Taking a deep breath, she turned to JJ, speaking quietly. "You stay with Penelope. We need to find out everything he was asking her, there might be something in there that helps. I will speak to Hotch and pull one of the guys to come with me to the gym." She turned to Garcia, speaking normally now. "Can you send me the address for the gym?"

Garcia nodded, typing extremely quickly, trying to recover her emotions somewhat.

"It'll be on your PDA now."

"Thanks. I will check back with you both later." Prentiss squeezed Garcia's shoulder again and nodded to JJ who nodded back in return, her eyes still clouded with tears. Prentiss quickly removed herself from the environment and went to find Hotch, before her emotional defences finally broke down.

* * *

><p>"Anything useful?" Hotch, Rossi, SSA Lewis and Morgan all looked up as Prentiss entered the conference room.<p>

"We have one lead, to a gym in the local area. Seems to be 1.2 miles from here. It's one of the only places he regularly attends, according to his credit card. It's not great, but someone might know more about him there, he goes around three to four times a week." Prentiss answered.

"Well it's something, at least." Rossi replied. Looking rather forlorn.

"You should definitely check that out." Lewis added.

"You don't have to be here you know, Michael." Hotch turned to the man. "Your team are working on important cases, we can handle this."

"I'm working the cases with them, if they need to take the jet somewhere then of course, I'll go. But whilst they're in the offices, this is where I will be." Lewis spoke calmly but firmly. "I can't help but feel this is partly my fault, something like this should never have slipped the net."

"It's no one's fault." Rossi reassured the man. "Well except for Jason Turner's."

"After this, I don't want to hear that name ever again." Lewis shuddered.

"Can't help but feel that might be unavoidable." Rossi said dryly.

The group went silent for a few moments, all lost in their own thoughts.

"Have you had any luck with victimology?" Prentiss finally broke the silence.

"All we know is that he's a really sick bastard." Morgan spat out.

"The circumstances between what's happening with Reid and the Stephen Thompson case seem to be quite different." Hotch started.

"Stephen Thompson was attacked in his home in a one-off attack. Apparently he was raped and beaten but aside from the restraining order, there were no signs of the obsessive behaviour we have been seeing with Reid." Rossi added.

"Like the pictures, for example, or the complete need to keep him to himself." Hotch continued.

"If there had been that evidence, then there's no way he'd have gotten off. There was no evidence at his house of any obsession what so ever. In fact, there was no evidence of any kind to be found." Morgan continued.

"What do you mean?" Prentiss asked, curiously.

"The attack was reported two weeks later, when all physical evidence had seemingly vanished. The only evidence of any issues between the two was the restraining order. And Jason was holding an appeal against that, and it appeared it was going to be successful." Rossi explained.

"But what does that mean?" Prentiss was very confused now.

"We looked into Stephen's past medical records, it seems he was schizophrenic. Stephen at the time was training at the same I.T. Company that Jason was working at. Jason was helping him with his training and it seems they became good friends. But these accusations against Jason seem to correlate with Stephen's schizophrenic episodes. The doctors increased his drug dosage on both occasions when Jason was accused of stalking and then after the report of the attack." Hotch explained further.

"But surely his dosages _would_ be increased if he had suffered a trauma like that?" Prentiss questioned.

"Yes, they might be." Hotch continued, "but it does seem odd that the courts wouldn't take into account Stephen's schizophrenia when he's accusing someone of stalking."

"You would think they would just throw a case like that out the window." Rossi chipped in.

"But they didn't, they took Stephen's word on it, and there was no discussion about his mental state. Why?" Morgan questioned, they were prompting each other to get to the bottom of this conundrum.

"To protect him? So he could keep his job?" Prentiss asked.

"Maybe. But lawfully the courts wouldn't be able to ignore it." Morgan answered.

"We need to get Garcia to look into this. We are missing something vital here, things just don't seem to add up." Hotch explained. "It doesn't make sense that a court would take the word of a paranoid schizophrenic without examining his medical records."

"What are you suggesting?" Prentiss was definitely confused now.

"Maybe Stephen wasn't Jason's victim. Maybe Stephen's the one Jason's trying to get back at." Things suddenly clicked into place in Rossi's head. "It makes sense. Stephen gets Jason sacked from his job, has a restraining order put on him and then takes him to court with rape charges. He pulls apart his life. Jason wants revenge, but then Stephen kills himself. That anger is never relieved. But then 15 years later, he meets Reid. He reminds him of Stephen. They look similar. So Jason starts researching. Finds out all about Reid and his family history of schizophrenia and it sets off something inside of him that needs to punish Reid for what was done to him. So he forces Reid into a schizophrenic state of mind and takes advantage of it, putting him through what Jason implied had been done to him."

"Woah, hold up now Rossi." Morgan interrupted. "You think this is revenge? Jason has a genuine obsession with Reid. He clearly has a need to possess him, this isn't the profile of someone looking for revenge."

"No, but what if Stephen had spotted something in Jason that he didn't like, and that fear had been heightened by his mental state? People don't magically turn into psychopaths overnight, no. But what if Stephen had stopped Jason in his tracks by being one step ahead of him?"

"What, so you think Stephen's paranoia might have led him to believe that Jason was going to attack him?" Prentiss' brows were furrowed.

"Yes, but what if he actually was?" Rossi questioned.

"Then it wouldn't be paranoia then, would it?" Lewis had so far been quiet, but this all sounded slightly ridiculous.

"It would if Stephen had never actually had any physical signs from Jason to back that up. What if he just got a 'feeling' about him. Look," Rossi held out a medical form from Stephen's psychiatrist. "'Stephen spoke this week about his fears of a colleague. He thinks this man is going to sexually assault him. When asked if this man had ever said anything to him of a sexual nature, Stephen said no. But just got this feeling from him.' This is three days after the supposed assault happened. So why was this never mentioned in court? There was also no mention of any physical injuries."

"The assault never happened." Hotch said, in confused shock.

"What the hell does this all mean?" Morgan asked, frustrated. "Stephen lied about the attack because he thought something was 'off' about Jason, right? And his schizophrenia made him make up stories about him and Jason?"

"From what I can see from his medical records, yes." Rossi said confidently.

"Right, but then, as a weird twist of fate, Jason actually was planning to attack Stephen, but the schizophrenia got in the way." Morgan continued, trying to figure things out.

"And Stephen kills himself, before Jason can actually build up to his attack." Prentiss led off Morgan's thought.

"What if Stephen's accusations actually brought out a desire in Jason? What if they were the trigger that actually made him want to attack Stephen?" Rossi asked.

"So then Jason takes his time planning his assault, as he has done with Reid, but before he can put his plans into action, Stephen kills himself and Jason's lust is never satisfied." Hotch adds.

"But then what happens? Does he just not attack anyone? A guy like that surely has to develop his M.O." Prentiss thought aloud.

"Not if he can't find the perfect victim." Rossi said thoughtfully. "Look at how he found Stephen. He met him at work, he was a particularly type, small build, not particularly strong looking, had some mental issues, not that confident, good looking and young. This is exactly the same type as Reid."

"But Dr. Reid doesn't have mental issues." Lewis added.

"No, but he did by the time Jason had finished with him." Morgan stood up suddenly. "That was the final thing he needed to slot into place to make him truly like Stephen."

"But his focus clearly isn't on Stephen any more. There is absolutely no evidence of an obsession with Stephen in his home. He is totally fixated on Reid." Prentiss sighed, exhausted by this conversation.

"His type has obviously shifted according to what he saw in Reid that he liked." Morgan furrowed his brows.

"And why wouldn't it?" Hotch asked. "He has found someone perfect in Reid. He obviously reflects Stephen in many ways, but he also has more strength than Stephen. The schizophrenia wasn't used as a way to remind him of Stephen, it was used as a weapon because he knew it was Reid's one weakness. But unlike Stephen, Jason knew that Reid was stronger than that."

"He has created a new Stephen in his mind. And Reid is him. But stronger, so he knows he will be able to see through his assault this time." Rossi looked at Hotch as though they had the key to everything. The team looked at each other for a few moments, trying to decide what they do with this information. "Well, it seems we have a profile." Rossi stated confidently.

"No Dave, we don't. What we have is speculation based on one or two entries from medical records. Continuing an investigation based on a profile like this is not only irresponsible, but also dangerous. We could be wasting valuable time."

"Well let me follow it up! D.C. is an hour's drive from here, tops. I can follow up some leads, see if I can speak to Stephen's psychiatrist. Those medical records were in a sealed file. Why? And why were they kept out of the courts? This is something we need to know." Rossi argued.

"Fine." Hotch relented. "I'll come with you. We also have the address of Stephen's parents, we should speak to him. See if he can shed some light on the situation." Hotch addressed the whole team now. "Until we have any further information, we do not work from this angle. Understand me?" The nodded. "Until we find out otherwise, we assume that Stephen Thompson's word is true. Derek, Emily, you go to that gym. We shouldn't miss any leads. And Lewis, if you still want to be involved, you can work with our technical analyst Garcia and Agent Jennifer Jareau, maybe you can help them with any information you have about Jason."

"Oh, Jason used to ask Garcia questions about Reid." Prentiss quickly remembered. "They are going over those questions now."

"Perfect," Lewis responded. "Between us both, we should be able to find something useful from something he might have said or done."

"Great. Remember everyone, stay focused, and let's keep each other updated. We don't want to waste any time." Hotch ordered.

They nodded and quickly left the conference room.

* * *

><p>Reid lay flat on the bed, feeling completely exhausted. He stared at the ceiling, no expression on his face. He felt totally numb. He knew he had been in the room for a long time, but he had no idea how long. And he always prided himself on his impeccable timing of various things. But in the panic, this had deserted him. He stared forlornly at the ceiling, feeling positively sick. He couldn't even think about what had been done to him over, what he supposed, was the last 24 hours.<p>

All he could think about was the betrayal from the various people in his life. He kicked himself for knowing someone like Jason, never mind trusting him. The fact that he had even gotten to know him was bad enough. Then he thought about his team. The team who had so faithlessly assumed that he was mentally ill just because he was having some memory issues. Or had they orchestrated it all? Reid thought not, but then, who did? Or was he really going mad? The thought of that made him sick too. It was either a lack of hunger or a painful presence of it that caused him to feel so queasy. But either way, this additional distress was just too much for his body to cope with all in one go. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. He just couldn't function.

He had been on his own for what felt like hours now. He knew Jason would be due back soon. If he had indeed, gone into work. Reid couldn't get his head round that. The thought of Jason standing and talking to his colleagues whilst he was locked in a basement like some sort of animal made him frustrated. He just desperately wanted the team to realise he was missing and come and find him, like they did with Tobias. The fact that he knew the team were searching for him was his only comfort through his ordeal with Tobias, now he didn't even have that. And what made it worse, was he knew what was to come would be much worse than anything so far.

Reid closed his eyes as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He hoped beyond hope that they might be the footsteps of one of his team coming to save him from this hell. But no such luck. He heard Jason sigh and lower himself to the chair in the corner.

"I know you're awake, Spence."

"I wasn't pretending otherwise." Reid answered quickly, fed up with being afraid. He sat up and pulled his back up against the bed's headrest so he was facing Jason.

"You don't look too great if I'm honest, Spence." He looked concerned. "You look tired."

"I'm fine." Reid again answered quickly. Keen to show Jason he was still fully functional, even if he didn't feel it.

"Ooh, a bit defensive aren't we?" Jason mocked. "I've only come down here for a bit of company. Hard day at the office." He moved to pick up the bottle of whisky in the middle of the room. He motioned to Reid as if to ask whether he wanted some. Reid didn't respond. Jason just shrugged and replaced himself back onto the chair.

"Did you speak to anyone today?" Reid asked, not entirely sure whether Jason was telling the truth about work. But regardless of his reckoning, Reid thought it best to play it dumb.

"Nope. Just my team, as always. Morgan asked whether I'd heard from you. I said no, naturally." Reid stared hard at Jason, he couldn't get a read on him at all. Jason unscrewed the cap from the whisky bottle and took a large swig. He sighed contentedly. "That's much better. Been a busy one today."

"Didn't Morgan find it strange that you hadn't been in contact with me?" Reid probed.

"Nope, not when I said you'd told me to fuck off." He took another swig. "Well, in your own little way, of course."

Reid's brows furrowed, he didn't appreciate being seen as some sort of child.

"I'm perfectly capable of telling people to fuck off, you know."

"Really?" Jason smiled, a slight dare in his eyes, he took another swig.

Meeting his gaze, Reid smiled.

"Come near me again and you'll find out."

Jason almost spat out his whisky through laughing. This time Reid didn't feel embarrassed, only incredibly annoyed.

"Well bravo to you, Spence! Bravo!" He laughed, mock clapping. "You've obviously recharged your batteries after your earlier lesson. You've a lot more oil in your can than I gave you credit for." He smiled, drinking more whisky. "Shame for you though, it only makes it more fun for me. Real shame."

Reid narrowed his eyes, angrily.

"If you think that you will break me, you're mistaken. I'm not a child, no matter how much you treat me like one." Reid knew he was only going to wind Jason up, but he couldn't help himself. He knew what Jason wanted from him. And if Jason thought he was going to find it easy, then Reid was going to prove him very wrong. He let himself get beaten earlier, by Jason's stupid mind games. This time he was prepared.

Jason just stared at Reid, analysing him.

"You can fight me if it makes you feel better, Spencer." He drank again. "But the fact of the matter is, there is no way out for you. Both your legs are chained to this bed, unless you're going to drag a double bed up some stairs whilst also incapacitating me, I don't think there is much you can do. In the end, Spence. I'll win."

Reid suddenly felt very deflated. Jason was right. _No, stay strong._

"Then I'll make it as difficult as possible for you. You'll wish you'd never bothered." Reid smiled an angry, cocky smile.

"Oh Spence. You just don't get it, do you? It really doesn't matter how much you fight. I'll be the one with the knife." He said coolly, taking another sip of whisky. Reid laughed madly.

"You think a knife scares me now? One thing I've realised about you Jason, is that you aren't going to kill me. Not yet. Not till you've got what you want at least!" Reid suddenly felt dizzy, what was he doing?

"So a knife no longer bothers you then?" Jason smiled a disbelieving smile. "Okay, Spence. Well let's have it this way then. How about I strap you down to that bed so fucking tight that you can't even move? How does that sound?" Reid tried to remain calm, but his eyes betrayed the sudden panic he felt. Jason smiled. "Aah, so that does bother you then." He stated, thoughtfully. "My own personal puppet, under my complete control. That sounds pretty appealing to me. What do you think?" He drank some more whisky and looked to Reid. He knew he was winding him up.

Reid was trying his best to stay strong, but the thought of being completely incapacitated around Jason terrified him. More than any knife ever would. But he wasn't going to back down. He needed to show Jason he was strong, the man wanted to see his fear and he was damned if he was going to give it to him.

"It doesn't bother me, no." He stated simply, his eyes still betraying his calm façade.

"Hmm..." Jason looked thoughtful and then stood up. "You think you're so smart, don't you, Spencer?" Reid furrowed his brows at the older man. "Thinking that hiding your fear from me will somehow change things. Make me less likely to want you?" Jason started moving towards Reid.

"No. I don't think-" Reid was cut off by Jason.

"You're very much mistaken, Spence. If only you'd realise, I'm all for the fight. In fact, it makes it all the more worthwhile for me. The more you fight, the more I want to have you. And the more I want to have you, the less chance you have." Jason started circling the bed. "So we can do this one of two ways. You can fight me, and I will have you anyway. Or you can co-operate, which will make it a bit easier for you, but the results will still be the same... It's up to you."

Jason stopped his circling and stood in front of Reid. Reid felt his heart beat quicken to an unhealthy rate, he felt like it would jump out of his chest at any second. He tried to swallow back the panic, but it wasn't working. He could feel himself going dizzy at the thought of what was about to happen. Jason put his hand on Reid's shoulder and in return, he tensed. He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Get off me." His voice was low and dangerous.

"Or else... what?" Jason teased. Suddenly he was hit hard in the jaw by a clenched fist, knocking him backwards. He held his jaw and looked shocked towards his attacker. "I didn't think you had it in you, Spence." He almost looked impressed. Reid's eyes narrowed as his tormentor stood up straight again, not wanting to show fear, Reid stood up also. "So we're playing this game again then?" Jason snarled. He lunged at Reid, grabbing his throat.

Reid let out a cry as he landed on the bed, Jason on top of him, hands around his throat squeezing. Reid tried desperately to claw Jason's hands off him and tried his best to keep breathing, but to no avail. Spots danced in front of his eyes as he felt himself starting to pass out. Suddenly, Jason's head met his temple and he was knocked out cold. His body fell back limply to the mattress. Arms out either side of him. Jason snaked his hands around, behind Reid's head and lifted it up, pulling his unresponsive face into a deep kiss. His whole body tingled at the lack of control Reid had at that very moment. He could do whatever he wanted, and there wasn't a thing his victim could do about it. It would be even better when he was awake.

He felt himself getting completely aroused. His hands groped Reid's body, touching everywhere. He moved to pull Reid's jumper off, exposing the smart grey shirt and blue tie underneath. He loved the way Reid dressed. His unfashionable neatness was a complete turn on to him. He left the shirt and tie alone. He rolled Reid over onto his front, pulling him up the bed so the chains on his legs were at full tension. He then pulled out some straps from underneath the mattress. The straps were made out of strong leather and buckled where they fastened. Firstly he strapped Reid's hands down inserting the leather straps through carefully concealed holes in the mattress. He pulled the straps to full tightness, buckling them to secure them. He then pulled up Reid's shirt and buckled a strap across his midsection, strapping his body tightly to the bed.

Reid moaned slightly as he started to come out of his unconscious state. Jason smiled, knowing the panic it would cause his victim. Reid tried to move his arms but found his hands were held down. He tried to lift his body up from his hips but found that his body couldn't move either. His eyes shot open and he struggled desperately against his bindings. Panicked tears clouding his eyes.

"Shhh... Spence." Jason stroked his back. "I thought this didn't bother you. I mean, I did promise you this if you were to fight me."

Reid was very close to hyperventilating, knowing full well what was to come, not knowing how he was going to cope with it if he couldn't even move. He managed to kick out with his legs somewhat which gave him hope, but then Jason moved his attention to his trousers, unbuttoning them and pulling them down.

"Please, Jason. Don't do this." All he could do was beg. And try to kick out.

Jason lay down flat, on top of Reid, sloppily kissing the side of his face.

"Shhh... You have no idea what you're doing to me, Spencer." He then licked, moving his hands down Reid's body.

Reid shuddered involuntarily. He couldn't pretend not to be afraid now. The hands groped his body, then Jason lifted his weight off him again. Moving his hands to his boxers, running his fingers under the waistline.

"Please... please don't do this." Reid whispered desperately.

Jason started pulling the boxers down and Reid started kicking his legs around, trying his best to put Jason off. His knee caught Jason's hand. In a sudden flare of temper, Jason pulled out his knife and stabbed Reid in the back of the thigh. Reid screamed out in agony.

"You fucking bastard!" Jason screamed. He picked up two more straps from the floor and started arranging them around Reid's thighs. Reid was crying in pain now and when the straps tightened around his legs he then cried out of desperation and started begging again. "This serves you fucking right!" Jason shouted. "Just shut up! Shut the fuck up!"

Reid was now completely stuck. He couldn't move any part of his body to effectively protect himself. He was, as Jason said. Jason's personal puppet. A play thing.

He tried one more time to reason with Jason. Breathing heavily due to the pain in his leg.

"Please... please... don't do this Jason... We were good friends... We helped each other..." Jason climbed on top of him and started removing his own clothing. Reid's begging speeded up as he panicked again. "I can help you! I can help you with whatever you want! Please, just untie me! I will comply, I promise! I promise!"

Jason lay down on top of him and wrapped his right arm around Reid's head and covered his mouth with his hand. Reid closed his eyes tightly and began to sob.

"It's too late for all that, Spence. I've waited too fucking long for this. And I'm gonna enjoy it."

Reaching down, he pressed himself against Reid, preparing them both for what was coming next.

Suddenly, all Reid could feel was pain. He couldn't move, he couldn't escape it, and the hand tightly covering his mouth kept him from crying out. At that moment, he wanted to die.

* * *

><p>Rossi and Hotch had arrived at Stephen's family home. The journey had taken 50 minutes. It had been a quiet run, neither man willing to express their fears for their colleague. Both understanding that it wouldn't help anyone to discuss what might be happening at that very moment.<p>

They got out of the car, closing the doors behind them.

"Big house." Rossi commented.

"Yeah... Garcia said they were wealthy." Hotch replied.

"No kidding." Rossi looked around. The house was more like a mansion.

They approached the front door and Hotch knocked. They had their badges ready to display. A man, clearly in his sixties opened the door.

"What do you want?" He asked slightly aggressively. "Can't you read the sign? It says 'No Sales Men!'"

"Sir, we're not Sales Men." Hotch replied calmly, showing his badge, Rossi followed suit. "We are with the FBI. May we come in?"

"The FBI?" The man looked over his shoulder and into his house. Glancing back at the two agents, weighing them up and down, he finally stood aside. "I suppose you'd better."

Hotch and Rossi were led through the enormous house in a living room. The man gestured the agents to sit down.

"Thanks." Rossi smiled.

"What's this about?" The slightly unfriendly man asked.

"Sir, is your name Peter Thompson?" Hotch knew this was the right man, they had his photo on file. But it was protocol to ask.

"Yes... yes I am." The man's confidence seemed to take a slightly knock after realising the FBI were at the right house.

"Did you have a son, named Stephen Thompson?" Rossi asked softly, leaning forwards.

The man's brows furrowed. He clearly didn't like where this was going.

"Yes... Yes I did. Now what business is my son to you?"

"If we had more time then we would deal with this a little more delicately, but unfortunately we don't, so I'm just going to have to ask you outright. Your son made accusations against a man called Jason Turner 15 years ago, correct?" Rossi said directly.

The man looked rather taken a back. He clearly hadn't heard mention of this for a long time.

"Erm.. Yes he did."

"There was a restraining order granted and your son also accused Mr. Turner of rape. Is this correct?" Hotch continued.

"Yes he did." The man replied. Still clearly nervous.

"Did you attend the court cases?" Rossi asked.

"Of course I did. He was my son!"

"Then you might be able to help us with this, Mr. Thompson. Why, at no point, was your son's mental state mentioned during any of these court cases?" Hotch pressed.

"They didn't see it as relevant." He countered.

"No, sir. It's not a case of it being irrelevant. There is actually no documented record of this _ever_ being mentioned to either the defence or the prosecution." Rossi caught the man out.

"If you were to ask me, as an ex prosecutor," Peter looked concerned. "I would say that Stephen's mental state was highly relevant. For both sides." Hotch argued, calmly.

"It wasn't relevant!" Peter shouted. "My son was attacked! He killed himself, a year later."

"May I ask then, why didn't he mention the attack to his Psychiatrist?" Rossi asked.

"My son didn't see a Psychiatrist." Peter simply stated.

Hotch and Rossi looked to each other.

"Sir, we have your son's medical records, which clearly state he was under treatment by a Psychiatrist. There are also numerous letters addressed to you and your wife discussing his mental state." Hotch said firmly.

"That's not possible." The Peter looked away from the two men. "Now if you would kindly leave."

"What do you do for a living, sir?" Rossi asked curiously.

"I run a very successful I.T. Company." He spoke proudly.

"And would it be fair to say you wanted your son to take over the company when he got older?" Rossi asked again.

"Well, yes. Of course. But what this has to do with anything, I don't know."

"We also found invoices for your son's treatment. It was paid for by you." Rossi stated.

Peter was getting frustrated now.

"Again, that's not possible." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"How did you feel about your son's mental illness, Mr Thompson?" Rossi pushed.

"Were you angry? Frustrated? Upset?" Hotch pressed.

"No!" Peter shouted.

"Were you embarrassed?"

"Ye-" Peter cut himself off. He dropped himself to the couch. Suddenly a female head poked itself around the corner, she then moved into the room and sat herself beside her husband, putting her arm around him.

"How dare you come in here upsetting him like this." He spoke softly.

"Are you Mrs. Irene Thompson? Stephen's mother?" Hotch asked gently.

"Yes, I am." She said curtly. "And I don't appreciate you coming into our house and getting my husband stressed out about things."

"If there was any other way, madam, trust me, we would do it. But we are involved in an urgent case that requires full disclosure from all parties." Rossi reassured.

"One of our agents has been taken. A young man, Dr. Spencer Reid." Hotch pulled out a photograph and handed it to the lady, she took it, staring at it. "We believe that he has been taken by Jason Turner -" They both looked up in shock. "The man your son accused of raping him. We work as part of the Behavioural Analysis Unit in Quantico, Virginia and part of how we work is we profile the suspect and figure out what his motives are and we try to predict their behaviour. Now what we need to know is, was your son really Jason's first victim?"

Peter started to look annoyed again.

"Yes of course he was!"

"Peter!" Irene called out, stopping him. "Peter, no. No this has to stop. Right here." She spoke softly. "We can't keep pretending. Look at him."

Peter eye balled his wife for a few moments then took a look at the picture. He took it out of his wife's hand, his eyes welling up with tears, then he lowered his gaze to the floor, submissively.

Hotch and Rossi waited patiently for one of them to start speaking again.

"I never meant to hurt anyone." Peter muttered.

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked.

"We tried our best with Stephen. We really did." Irene spoke gently. "But he was very difficult. He really struggled working with people. We thought we'd got his life on track, got him a good job. He was even making friends. He met this Jason through work. We met him once or twice, he was nice enough. Seemed a little bit strange."

"He was gay." Peter cut in. Irene looked embarrassed.

"Yes, yes he was gay. That never sat well with Peter. He means no harm, but it's-"

"Just not natural! That's what it is!"

"Okay, sir. Can we please leave the debating to a more appropriate time." Hotch cut in.

Irene patted her husband on the back.

"But then, Jason started coming home saying all this stuff about the guy. That he was going to attack him," she swallowed. "Sexually."

"And what did you do?" Rossi questioned.

"Well we sent him back to his Psychiatrist."

"So you did pay for him to see a Psychiatrist?" Rossi noted.

"Yes. Yes, we did." She looked away from her husband's gaze. "But it never worked. Tablets were increased but things kept getting worse. Then we found out Stephen had taken out a restraining order against this Jason."

"We simply couldn't have everybody at his workplace knowing he was Schizophrenic. I'm in the business! I just couldn't have it!" Peter ranted.

"So instead, you allowed your son to go on with the lie, allowed Jason to lose his job and your son to carry on living as normal." Hotch pointed out.

"But what I don't understand is the courts must have looked into your son's background at some point. It's common practice." Rossi kept on with the pressure.

"Yeah, well you pay anyone enough, you can make almost anything go away." Irene looked ashamed.

"And don't think about speaking to Dr. Friar. He died five years ago."

Hotch and Rossi looked to each other, Rossi rolled his eyes.

"What about the rape charges?" Hotch pressed.

The married couple looked to each other. Clearly trying to find a way to make this not sound as bad as it did in their heads.

"We didn't know what else to do." Peter burst out. "He'd already accused him. What was I supposed to do? Make him withdraw the charges? I had a business to look out for. If that got out, the business would be in ruins."

"So to save your own embarrassment you allowed an innocent person to face trial." Rossi commented.

"Clearly he's not that innocent though. We would have done you a favour getting him locked up." Peter argued.

Ignoring this comment, Hotch and Rossi continued on.

"How did you know that your son was lying?" Rossi asked.

"He had spent the previous week with me, on holiday. There wasn't a chance in hell that that Jason had gone near him. Plus, Stephen told me."

Irene turned to her husband, shocked.

"What? Stephen told you? I thought he never understood the whole pitiful affair." Peter waved his hand dismissively.

"Well he did. I'm not proud of it. But in the end, it's what I had to do."

"Mr. Thompson, one last question. May I ask you, why did your son commit suicide?" Hotch meant this as more of a rhetorical question. One for the parents to consider, they all knew, it was because of guilt.

Peter dropped his head. Irene took the picture of Reid that had now dropped to the floor.

"Is this our fault?" She asked quietly, staring at the picture.

"We think that Jason Turner started out by acting out his revenge on Stephen, by finding a similar replacement in Dr. Reid. But in the process, he has become obsessed with him. We have reason to believe that Stephen was right about Jason. Only he just didn't know it. If your son hadn't killed himself, he may very well have been Jason's first victim." Hotch explained, calmly. Although his heart was beating at an unhealthy rate. He could feel sweat running down his back. He just wanted to get back to Quantico now they had a profile.

"You certainly didn't create the monster ma'am, but you certainly didn't help." Rossi said coolly, taking the photograph out of Irene's hands and walking towards the door. "We'll let ourselves out."

"Thank you." Hotch added, polite as always. Then followed Rossi out of the room and then the house.

Once outside Hotch and Rossi raced towards the SUV, they got in and fastened their seat belts. Hotch quickly turned on the engine and started driving.

"We need to get back to Quantico. Our profile is all wrong, Dave."

"Even with this new profile though, I'm not sure that it'll help us all that much. At least not to find out where Reid is anyway." Rossi explained. "I still think he'll take Reid somewhere he feels comfortable. I don't think it would be to a place where Reid would pick."

"Why do you say that? He's obsessed with Reid, but also obsessed with Stephen. Are you sure he wouldn't pick somewhere that either of them would choose?" Hotch needed reassurance that this new information wouldn't help them.

"I'm certain. Jason had no control over the situation with Stephen. With Reid, he will want complete control. Which means his house, his rules."

Hotch looked to Rossi, then back to the road. He quietly nodded.

The two drove in silence for quite a while. Suddenly, Hotch brought the SUV to a stop and rested his head back onto the head rest.

"What if we don't find him, Dave?" Rossi looked to Hotch, surprised he would ask such a question.

"Aaron, we are working with some of the countries best minds. We will find him." He replied confidently.

"You don't really think that." Hotch said, shaking his head. Rossi glanced back at Hotch, again surprised. When the younger man met his gaze, he found he had to break eye contact. Suddenly he felt incredibly vulnerable.

"I'm at least trying." Rossi said, without the same conviction.

Hotch nodded in understanding. Neither of them were men for showing their feelings and insecurities. Even the slightest confession of doubt in the work they do was a difficult thing for them to deal with.

Sighing, Hotch continued.

"I don't know how he's going to deal with this. He barely come through Tobias Hankel."

"Reid is strong, Aaron. Stronger than we give him credit for." Rossi answered calmly.

"We are all strong, Dave. All of us. But put any of us in the situation Reid is facing now, and I think we'd all take a knife or a gun any day."

Rossi merely nodded. He knew what Hotch was talking about, but was too hopeful to mention. However this ended up, they knew that Reid would have to deal with some issues, no matter how bad the situation had gotten. There was no way a man like Jason would leave Reid completely untouched. Rossi turned to Hotch.

"Why don't you let me drive the rest of the way?" He said in a diplomatic tone.

"No Dave, I'm fine." Hotch answered firmly. It was a tone that suggested no more questions. Rossi nodded again.

"Well let's get going then."

* * *

><p>Prentiss and Morgan were approaching the gym.<p>

"We shouldn't have stayed with JJ and Garcia, you know." Morgan looked concerned.

"I know it wasn't that helpful, but I kind of felt like they needed the extra support." Prentiss sighed.

"But what if whilst we were with them, we missed something important?" Morgan asked, frustrated.

"Like what?" Prentiss looked to a sign in the gym window. "2 for 1 on gym memberships?" She looked up to the big sign on the front of the building. "The Gymnasium... original." She said dryly.

Morgan didn't say anything, normally he would make some sort of clever comment, but today he clearly wasn't in the mood. Emily was actually slightly thankful for that. Even thought she was making persistent attempts to lighten the mood, they were just as much for herself as anyone else. She wasn't in the mood for banter.

Morgan opened the door, allowing Prentiss to enter first. They were greeted at the door by the a man wearing a name tag reading 'STEVE' beneath his name, it read 'manager'.

"Agents Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss from the FBI." Both showed their badges, Morgan shook hands with the gentleman and Prentiss followed suit.

"I spoke with a Jennifer Jareau on the phone. She told me to expect you, please, come into my office... Can I get you guys a drink?" Steve offered politely.

"No thank you." Prentiss smiled.

They followed Steve into his office and sat down in front of his desk. He moved around the other side and also sat down.

"What is it I can help you with? Your liaison said you were investigating a kidnapping."

"Yes. We are." Morgan answered seriously. "Can you tell me, do you recognise either of these two people?" First he produced a photo of Reid, the same one Hotch had provided to Stephen's family.

Steve looked at it carefully, slightly confused.

"No... But I mean obviously I don't know everyone who comes through these doors. I can check whether he's had an induction of course, as a lot of people do and come as pay as you go customers. He does look a little familiar."

"As far as our records show, he has never been here. But we can't track cash payments. So if you could check your records that would be greatly appreciated." Emily smiled.

"Of course, not a problem."

"Secondly, do you recognise this guy?" Morgan pushed a picture of Jason across the table. Steve's eyes lit up instantly.

"Yes! Yes I do, that's Jay!" Suddenly he glanced up at the agents. "Oh no – what's happened? Is he okay?"

"He is fine." Prentiss reassured the man. "We just need to speak to him regarding our investigation."

"Speak to him? Is he in trouble?" Steve looked deeply concerned.

"We really cannot comment on the nature of our investigations, sir." Prentiss spoke calmly but firmly.

"How do you know Jason Turner?" Morgan asked.

"Well, he's a gym regular. Or at least, has been for the last two years. He's been heavily involved in a lot of projects at the gym. You know, fitness challenges, charity events, you name it, he's helped at it."

"Have you ever noticed him behaving strangely around other men at the gym? Or noticed him saying any strange things to anyone?" Prentiss asked.

Steve furrowed his brows.

"No, never... Seriously, what is this about?"

"Do you ever socialise with Jason?" Morgan asked, cutting off the man.

"Not really, no. It's a strictly professional relationship. I mean, I've seen him out and about here and there but nothing you could call socialising."

"Do you know anything about what he does in his spare time?" Morgan asked.

"No. As far as I can gather, when he's not working, he's here. That's how he always says life is for him. He's been a great help if I'm honest. I never would have managed the move without him."

"The move?" Morgan raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, two months ago we moved from our old building, just down town."

"Did Jason used to help out at the old building too?" Morgan asked, suddenly his voice sounded alive.

"Well yes, of course. Like I said, he's been coming for two years." Steve was starting to look confused.

"What's happened to the old building now?" Prentiss asked. Morgan was pulling out his phone to dial Garcia.

"Well it's empty. As far as I know it has been bought out to make way for a car park. The rent was too high for me anyway. I don't know when it's due for demolition though, to be honest, now I've moved premises, I don't tend to go down town that much any more."

"Garcia," Morgan turned, on the phone to his colleague. "I need you to look up an address for me." he turned to look to the manager, prompting him to give the old address.

"1245 4th Ave." Steve replied quickly.

"You get that Garcia?" Morgan asked. Morgan listened to her speak for a few moments. "Okay, has it been demolished?... Til when?... Right, thanks." He put the phone down and turned to Steve. "Would Jason know the layout of this building?"

"Like the back of his hand." Steve had stopped asking silly questions now. He had realised that Jason was most likely in some kind of trouble, and standing in the way of the FBI was not a good idea.

"How big is this place?" Prentiss asked, quickly.

"2 floors, there is also a basement. We used to keep stock down there."

"Thanks, man." Morgan left the office quickly, with Prentiss in tow. "We need to call Hotch."

"Agents!" Steve quickly ran after them, a memory flashing through his mind. "That picture of the young man. I remember where I saw it! Jason had it in his wallet. He told me it was his boyfriend."

Prentiss and Morgan looked to each other then back to Steve.

"Thank you for all your help." Prentiss said politely and they shot out of the building.

* * *

><p>Reid was still imprisoned by Jason after what felt like hours. When Jason had finished thrusting into Reid the first time, Reid was thankful it was all over. He was shaking like a leaf, was exhausted and sweating profusely.<p>

When he felt Jason move his body from on top of him and finally release the grip from around his mouth, he cried in relief and desperation. What he didn't expect was for Jason to undo half of his straps and establish a different position. Reid was now on his side being attacked for the third time. Jason was still pounding away, but Reid's eyes were empty. He had cried all he could cry, he no longer had the energy to fight at all, so most of his restraints were now gone. Jason had complete control of him. As he wanted. If Jason wanted to shift position to gain better access to a part of Reid's body, he simply moved him. A sob would occasionally escape Reid's lips and he would sometimes try to pull himself away, but to no avail. His movements had no fight left in them. If Jason fought against Reid's manoeuvre, he would let him win.

Jason had been whispering in his ear during each assault. Reid had stopped listening to the words a while ago. Jason noticing this suddenly licked his ear and then bit. Reid winced and pulled away. Jason's hand snaked back around Reid's head and covered his mouth, pulling his head back towards him.

"Spence." He whispered lustfully, and he slowed his thrusts down, cruelly pulling Reid back into awareness. "How does it feel to have no control?" He felt a tear drip down onto his hand. "Oh Spence, don't cry again. We're almost done." He suddenly speeded up his thrusts, putting enough power behind them that Reid's head was almost hitting the head rest. He tightened his grip on Reid's face, not necessarily caring whether he was actually covering his mouth any more. Reid cried out as Jason finished off. His face was buried deep into Reid's neck as he came, his free hand roaming all over his victim's body. His breathing was heavy and laboured as he kissed deep into Reid's neck. He then went slightly limp and drew Reid into a tight embrace. Reid was shivering involuntarily, he desperately wanted the man to get off him. He wanted to clean himself up. Get out of that basement. But all hope was fading. It was already too late for him. Now he was on to damage limitation.

Jason whispered in his ear again.

"Spence, that wasn't so bad was it? It was everything I'd hoped it would be. You're mine now." He stroked his victims hair gently. Reid just lay limp in his arms. He massaged Reid's arm then sat up, pulling it out to the side. "In fact, I don't ever want you to forget it." He pulled out the knife. Reid exhaustedly looked up too late to see Jason pulling out the knife to carve into his arm.

"No." His hoarse throat whispered. He hissed as the knife cut deep into his forearm. His left arm and leg were still chained and he tried his best to push Jason off with them, but to no avail. The cutting seemed to go on for an eternity. He could feel hot blood dripping down his arm and the cuts were stinging severely.

"Keep fucking still!" Jason shouted. Holding Reid's arm by the wrist and back handing him with the hand holding the knife. The edge of the blade caught just above Reid's eye and it started to bleed. Reid winced, but didn't stop fighting. "Do you want another stab in your fucking leg?" Reid suddenly stilled. "Didn't think so. Now shhh... stop fighting. I'm almost done." Reid felt two more stinging cuts making their way across his arm, but true to Jason's word, they were the last. Reid's breathing was now heavy and raggedy. He was doing all he could to keep conscious with the feeling of the blood leaking out of the cuts. Jason stroked his head again, then his face, then his lips. Finally having enough of the man's touch, Reid bit at his hand. Jason pulled away suddenly. "You bastard! And I was gonna be fucking nice to you after this too. I can't believe you just did that!" Jason sounded genuinely offended.

"You wanna see what I've done?" He threw Reid's arm towards his face so he could see his handiwork. Reid's eyes took a few seconds to focus and then he paled. All he could see was a mass of cuts on his forearm. Spelling out the word 'MINE'. Reid thought he was going to be sick, but before he could think too much, Jason was releasing his chained arm and leg from the bed. "You don't deserve a fucking rest after that." He then redressed Reid, commmenting on how smart he looked. All the while, Reid lay on the bed. Too weak to do much else.

Jason then climbed on top of him, resting on his stomach.

"I know what your biggest fear is, Spencer." Reid furrowed his brows, trying to focus on Jason's words, rather than the pain in his stabbed leg and cut forearm. "Dark and small spaces." He smiled, as Reid's eyes opened wide at the implications. Jason climbed off the bed and started pushing it into the centre of the room. Reid eventually managed to sit himself up.

"You see what this is, Spencer?" He pointed to a door in the floor. It was around 7ft by 4ft and had a little window at one end. Reid's head started to shake, and tears he didn't realise he was still able to shed came rolling down his face.

"No." He whispered, too exhausted to say anything else. Hoping that Jason would take pity on him.

"It's 3ft deep, Spencer. Just enough for you to move around. A little."

Reid was coming very close to a panic attack. He tried to make a move off the bed as Jason approached him, but his exhausted limbs took a while to respond. By the time he had found his way to a crawl, Jason had already grabbed him around the waist. He was pulling him towards the hole.

Jason shouted through gritted teeth as Reid desperately tried to pull away from him.

"If you keep insisting on fighting me, Spencer, I have no choice! You will be able to breathe you know!" Reid fought with all his might to get Jason off him, he was almost succeeding when a blow to the ribcage winded him completely. He fell to the floor, unable to breathe. In this time, Jason opened the door to the underground coffin and pulled Reid towards it. By the time Reid had regained his breath, he had just been pushed back first into the hole.

He begged in a panicked frenzy and desperately fought to stop Jason from closing the door.

"No, Jason! God no, please! I can't do this, please!"

Jason slammed the door, trapping Reid in the underground coffin. Reid started to hyperventilate, he thought he was going to die. Jason simply watched through the window in the door.

"Oh, Spence. Calm down. There is only so much oxygen to go around. The quicker you calm down, the sooner I'll let you out. I promise."

Reid still couldn't control his breathing. He tried to move himself around, feeling only walls everywhere he went. He couldn't sit up, he couldn't stretch out. The more scared he felt in the space, the more he tried to move around. Now he couldn't stop crying.

"Please, Jason." He spoke around distressed breaths. "Please... Let me... out."

"Sorry Spence. Not 'til you understand, it's not worth fighting."

He moved out of Reid's line of sight, which caused him to panic even further.

"Jason! Jason, please!" He banged on the door frantically, knowing he was using up valuable energy and oxygen, but he couldn't help it. This was his worst nightmare.

Jason took himself to the corner of the room and picked up the bottle of whisky. He took a self-satisfied gulp and then switched off the lights, moving to the chair.

Reid's breathing sped up again.

"Jason? Oh god..." He kept hyperventilating. "JASON!" He finally stopped banging on the door after around 10 minutes. His hands raw from knocking on wood. He was still breathing heavily, but his voice had broken down into heavy, hitching sobs.

Jason still sat, unbeknownst to Reid, in the corner of the room. Whisky bottle in hand and smile on face.


	11. Chapter 11

**UPDATE! WOOP! Okay, I have to admit. I'm not entirely convinced by this chapter. I don't want to let that put you off, but I do feel perhaps I could have done more with it. Maybe you will disagree, I don't know (hopefully). It has been written in pretty much one sitting so apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy though! And thank you for all your lovely reviews. As usual, I love receiving them :)**

**WARNINGS: Violence, swearing, things of a sexual nature etc etc... If you don't know by now, you really need to read it properly ;)**

Morgan and Prentiss left the gymnasium, heading straight for the SUV. Jumping in, they quickly fastened their seat belts and Morgan started the engine.

"Garcia said the place isn't scheduled for demolition 'til late this year." Morgan informed his colleague.

"That kind of building would be the perfect place to take someone. Especially if you knew you were likely to be left alone for long periods of time. If they're not scheduled to demolish it for a good few months, the chances of anyone being on site is unlikely." Prentiss felt positive about this location.

"We need to call Hotch. Tell him we're going to the location." Morgan reminded.

Prentiss nodded, taking out her phone. She dialled Hotch and put him on speaker.

"Emily, anything?" Hotch answered.

"We might just have a possible location. A disused building scheduled for demolition later in the year." Prentiss spoke loud and clearly.

"It used to house the gym that Jason goes to. Apparently he knows the place like the back of his hand." Morgan continued.

"Yeah, he's helped out with all sorts of events." Prentiss added.

"Good." Hotch went quiet for a few moments. "We'll need to meet you back at the BAU, we're about twenty minutes away."

"What? Hotch? No!" Morgan shouted, shocked. "If Reid is there we can't waste any time! We gotta get in there, man."

"That may be so, but our profile has changed. We need to discuss how we are going to handle this. We also need all the man power we can get. We do not go near the place without SWAT teams."

"Fine, well we'll meet you there." Morgan said defiantly.

"You will meet us back at the BAU and that is an order. Under no circumstances do you go near that building with only two of you." Hotch awaited a response. Morgan was seething, he was so desperate to find out whether Reid was in the building. "Morgan?" Hotch asked firmly.

"We'll be there, sir." Prentiss intervened. "See you in twenty." And she put down the phone. She turned to Morgan, concerned. "Derek, what are you doing?"

"Can you believe him, Emily? We have a possible location but we can't go near it!" Morgan hit his steering wheel with his fist. "It's just ridiculous!"

"Morgan, stop the car." Emily said gently. When he ignored her, she tried again more firmly. "Stop the car!" Morgan turned his gaze to Prentiss then surrendered, pulling quickly and aggressively into a side lane. He eyed Prentiss for a couple of seconds, then looked out of his side window.

"I know what you're gonna say." He said, sighing.

"Well if you know, then I don't have to tell you." Prentiss was kind, but firm.

"But you're gonna tell me anyway." Morgan turned to her, an irritated look dancing in his eyes.

"You can't do this, Derek. You know how important it is that we get this right. If Reid is in there, we need to be fully prepared. That means fully armed – not just with weapons but with our profile. If we go in there now waving our guns about on an incorrect profile, we could get seriously hurt, or worse... Reid could." Morgan looked at her, his eyes softening.

"I just wanna get him back, Emily. And I hate the fact that we are wasting valuable time going back to the BAU when there are two of us ready and waiting to make a move."

"But it's what we do, Morgan. You would be the first to tell me that. We use our profile. Otherwise, we'd just be like every other cop. Then where would we be?"

"We'd be makin' a fuckin' move, right now. That's where we'd be." Morgan was so frustrated by the limitations of their jobs. Tears welled up in his eyes slightly, as he thought of what might be happening to Reid at that moment.

"I know..." She smiled sadly. "Sometimes this job sucks."

"Amen to that." Morgan sighed. He sat quietly for a couple of moments, then started up the engine again, and drove back to the BAU.

* * *

><p>After sitting and waiting patiently in the BAU conference room, Prentiss finally spotted Hotch and Rossi entering the bullpen.<p>

"They're here." She pointed out to the rest of her colleagues.

"About time." Morgan stated angrily. Prentiss had already kept his anger in check many times and she threw him another look.

"What Emily? He's right." JJ started, equally frustrated. "We should have met each other there."

"I'm not starting back on that one again." Prentiss rolled her eyes.

"Guys, tearing each other apart isn't helping." Garcia said, sadly. "They're here now. Can we not just focus on getting our baby back?"

They all looked to each other, by means of apology. They all knew Garcia was right, they shouldn't have been taking it out on each other. This was about Reid, first and foremost.

Hotch shook Lewis' hand and brought him into the conference room with him, Rossi followed closely behind, shutting the door.

"Thanks for waiting." Rossi commented when he came in, sensing the tension.

The whole team was stood, aside from Garcia. They felt that need to be in control. And sitting seemed too calm an action to be doing at a time like this.

"I won't waste any more time." Hotch started. "We need to discuss the profile."

"It turns out the revenge profile we were discussing earlier was actually rather accurate. Stephen's father paid the Psychiatrist to keep the medical records out of the courts so Jason would be sent down." Rossi started to explain.

"Why would he do that?" JJ looked shocked.

"He was at the top of a corporate empire that his son was being groomed to inherit, he was too embarrassed to admit that he was a schizophrenic." Rossi explained further.

"So Jason was implicated for a crime he didn't commit." Prentiss cut in.

"And now he's looking for revenge." Morgan added.

"Yes, which means we have to be very careful about how we approach this." Hotch warned.

"Revenge crimes are often driven by compulsion, particularly in cases like this where the revenge has been meticulously planned and perfected." Rossi carried on.

"But why the focus on Reid, Rossi? I don't get it. Revenge crimes often aren't this need based. Obviously the need is to get revenge, but why the..." Morgan's breath caught. "Why the sexual angle on this?"

"Well it was a sexual accusation, so the need for a sexual revenge seems to go hand in hand." Hotch explained.

"I see what Morgan's getting at." Prentiss nodded her head in understanding. "Okay, there's the need to get revenge in the same manner, yes. But why the obsession with Reid in particular? Surely he is just a means to an end? But the obsessive stalking and photography suggests not. It suggests that the revenge is now a secondary motive and the primary motive is now possessing Reid."

"Which is why we think he was going to attack Stephen Thompson before he committed suicide." Rossi chipped in.

"So we're looking at a guy who was a potential sex offender, getting accused of rape before he could actually commit the crime. Who then planned his attack on the very person who accused him, but again is stopped in his tracks by the potential victim's suicide. So then he goes for 15 years, never finding the need to attack anyone again? I don't get it." Morgan looked confused.

"_Until_ he saw Reid. Reid reminded him of Stephen and it brought it all back. He felt angry and the old familiar feelings of revenge began to stir. But with Reid, something changed and he began to become obsessed with him. The need for power and control overtook the need for revenge. Chances are, if he had been given enough time to plan Stephen's attack, this exact same behaviour would have emerged, but it was never given chance to manifest itself." Rossi spoke quickly and confidently.

"But surely there must have been other victims somewhere?" JJ asked, rubbing her head. "This kind of guy doesn't just stop attacking people."

"No, but the fact is, he never started." Hotch replied. "The desire was there, but after Stephen's death, he started working again. His mind was occupied and the object of his desires was out of the picture. But then on seeing Reid, the old feelings emerged."

"So he kept himself going for that long without any kind of violent sexual tendencies? That's rare." Prentiss questioned, amazed.

"Okay, this is super icky, but I've been looking through Jason's laptop for the last hour and he has stuff hidden all up in here. All sorts of awful pornographic images, videos... you name it, he's got it." Garcia said, bringing some images up on his laptop screen.

They all looked away disgusted.

"And that's all just... there?" Lewis asked. "For anyone to see?"

"Oh hell no." Garcia replied. "It has taken some almighty finding, this guy is good at his work. But not as good as me. He has had this stuff hidden in the deepest, darkest depths of his system. Probably in case people like us come looking." She pushed her glasses back up her nose with her pen, then suddenly froze. A horrified look on her face.

"Garcia, what's wrong?" Hotch looked at her with sudden concern.

"It's just sunk in... that this is the guy that's got Reid." She slammed the laptop shut and pushed away from the table, heading over to window, tears welling up. "Oh god!" She moaned. Morgan followed her to the window. Putting an arm around her. JJ stood solemnly, arms crossed tightly across her stomach.

"So how do we do this?" She asked, seriously.

"We try to catch him off guard. We go in with back up and plenty of it. He's not going to give up Reid easily. We know how that usually ends." Hotch prompted.

"Suicide by cop." Rossi spoke dryly.

"No way in hell I'm killin' him." Morgan spoke up. "We bring him back here alive. Death is too good for that bastard."

"Morgan, let's not get ahead of ourselves. One thing at a time." Hotch ordered.

"Just one thing, Aaron." Lewis spoke up suddenly. "Do you not think the location has been found a little too easily?"

The team all looked at him, curious as to what he had to say.

"What do you mean?" Prentiss spoke up.

"Well, for a technical analyst who works for the BAU, do you not think that it has all been a little too easy to track him down? I mean, obviously there's no guarantee that he's actually there. But if he **is**, do you not think he's made a lot of mistakes?"

"You mean it's like a set up?" Rossi questioned.

Garcia turned around thoughtfully, wiping a tear from her face. Suddenly the cogs started turning again.

"Well, yeah. I see what you mean. If I were to do anything like this, which I wouldn't, obviously, but say I did. I would pay for everything in cash, which Jason clearly does. Apart from the gym? I mean, he pays as he goes, why the need to pay on card? He manages to pay for everything with cash, aside from those transactions at the gym and the Coffee Stop."

Hotch nodded.

"He wanted us to find those transactions."

"Which means he wanted us to talk to the people in those places." Prentiss continued.

"Which means he wants us to find him. Why?" Morgan furrowed his brows.

"Do you think the place is rigged?" JJ asked, not quite believing she was asking this question when she knew Reid might be inside.

"That just doesn't fit." Rossi said thoughtfully. "He wouldn't want to kill everyone, that doesn't fit with the original revenge plan."

They all stood in silence for a good ten seconds, each trying to figure out in their own heads the missing piece to the puzzle.

Suddenly Lewis spoke up.

"If we look at the effects Stephen's lies had on Jason, then surely they would be mirrored in what Jason wants to achieve with Dr. Reid."

"He wants him to feel embarrassed." Rossi nodded his head.

"He lost his job, so maybe unwanted." JJ threw it out there.

"He wants the big show." Hotch said simply. They all looked to him. "He wants us to see it all. Everything he has done. And he wants to watch our reactions. Like he watched everyone's reactions towards him when he was accused by Stephen."

"And that's our missing puzzle piece." Rossi stated, satisfied.

"So what now?" Morgan asked.

"Rossi, Lewis and Prentiss, you will enter the building with me. It's safe to assume they are most likely in the basement, but Morgan and JJ you will secure the rest of the building with some of the SWATs. Those with me, we will go down to the basement. If he's there, then we do our best to bring him in without anyone getting hurt. Jason included."

"Oh hell no, Hotch! You gotta be kidding me! You're excluding me from this?" Morgan shouted angrily. He was incredibly frustrated and almost squared up to Hotch.

"You are too emotionally involved, Morgan. All Jason will do is play on that. Not to mention the fact that he clearly has issues with your friendship with Reid. If he focuses on that, it isn't going to help Reid. I need to take people in with me who are going to keep their emotions in check."

"And you think I can't do that?" Morgan asked, offended.

"I wouldn't ask you to." Hotch simply answered.

"And what about you, JJ? How do you feel about this?" Morgan turned for some moral support.

"If I would have to go in there, not knowing what I was going to see. I don't think I could do that." Her eyes started to water up. "I would rather be there for him once he's safe, where I can actually give him some comfort. I can't see him in the same room as that man. Knowing..." Garcia put an arm around her as JJ broke down and took her into an embrace.

"We can't show any emotion to this guy." Rossi spoke to all of them now. "No matter what he does. No matter what he says. No matter what Reid is saying or doing. Nothing. We can show nothing. The last thing we want to do is give the man the satisfaction he is craving. If you don't feel you can do that, then you wait outside for the go ahead."

Prentiss nodded, swallowing. She didn't want to do this, but she knew she could. She had said it before and she would say it again. Compartmentalising was her thing. Hotch just looked serious, as always. His face barely registered on an emotional level as it was. Rossi had no doubt, Hotch would be capable of this. He himself, however, had his doubts about his own abilities to keep calm. Reid was somebody he deeply respected and one of the few people in life he wholeheartedly liked. He could find few faults in Reid, which made it difficult to judge how he might react in this situation. He told himself his negotiation skills would serve him well and left it at that.

"I don't think I can do that." Lewis spoke up. "I'm so god damn angry at him right now. I don't think I would be able to contain myself. I'm sorry."

Hotch nodded in understanding.

"It's okay. I'd much rather you say."

"I'm coming." Morgan cut in.

"Derek." Rossi warned.

"I can keep my emotions under control, trust me. If it's Reid's life on the line, I will do whatever it takes to get him back safe... You have my word."

Hotch eyed him carefully, for a few moments, then nodded.

"Okay... But if I have any doubts about your state of mind, you're out." Hotch ordered leaving his eye contact lingering as an extra warning, Morgan simply nodded. Hotch then turned to the group. "Let's get moving."

* * *

><p>Jason was still sat in the corner of the room with the lights off. He had drank a quarter of his bottle of whisky then decided enough was enough. He placed the bottle down on the floor. He could still hear Reid's slightly panicked breathing, but he had to give him his due. He'd calmed down a lot over the last half an hour. Given what Garcia had told him about how bad his phobia was, Jason thought he was coping fairly well. He thought back to the time he had spent with Spencer so far. He had thoroughly enjoyed every moment. It had far surpassed any of his expectations. As had Spencer. Jason felt himself getting aroused again. He was so very tempted to open the door and let Spencer out, just so he could have him again. The feelings stirred in his groin and he found himself standing up to switch on the light.<p>

Reid had been in the hole in the ground now for forty minutes. All he could see out of the window was darkness. He was sure he had probably hyperventilated for half of those minutes. He was now feeling much calmer. Mostly because he refused to move. Whenever he did and he felt the walls surrounding him, it would send him into a panic. So he chose not to move. He had slowed his breathing down considerably using this method, so he figured it worked well. His whole body ached, he felt sick and tired. He couldn't even bring himself to come to terms with what had just happened to him. It was like a nightmare. But at least it was over now.

In some ways he wished that the hole was a coffin and he was actually dead. If the team weren't going to find him, then he'd rather not survive. Anything was preferable to becoming a sex object for Jason. His leg throbbed dreadfully from where he had been stabbed and his arm was stinging like crazy. He moved it, trying to relieve some of the pain but found himself touching the wall to the right of him. For no logical reason, he then felt his body moving just to remind him of what a small space he was in. He stretched his legs and arms outwards, then felt the panic rising again. He told himself he was being stupid, and that it was his own fault for insisting on reacquainting himself with the walls, but he couldn't help it. The urge was too strong. He really didn't know what he expected to find. Whether he thought the walls would suddenly be gone, he didn't know. He didn't know anything any more except misery and panic. He had stopped trying to profile the man when basic survival skills became more important. Keeping his mind from being flooded with pain was his primary function. The secondary was trying to survive. Last came the profile. And what was he trying to prove with that? The profile only showed him how truly doomed he was. Without people looking for him, he really had no options.

Jason had already told him that the team weren't looking. The people he considered his dearest and most loyal friends, no, his family, weren't even looking for him. He almost laughed at the irony. He worked with some of the best minds in the country, but he goes missing and they don't even notice. It was laughable. He thought about what the team would say to him. Rossi would be passionate, telling him to keep strong and not to let anything drag him down. Garcia would be sweet and soft, no doubt giving him cookies and too much fuss. JJ would be quietly emotional, but supportive. Making sure he knew exactly what he meant to everyone. Prentiss, she would be strong, no nonsense, but soft in her own way. Morgan, his closest friend, his most trusted colleague, would no doubt be heaping on the advice from his not inconsiderable life experience. Morgan to Reid was like the older brother he never had. And Hotch, would simply be diamond, strong to the core. Reid got lost in his thoughts for a few minutes, thinking about how much had changed, and how the people he cared so deeply for had let him down so terribly. He couldn't blame them for this, but in the end, they could have helped. They could have listened, and they didn't. And because of that he was stuck here. Feeling tears creeping up into his eyes again as he thought of the life he had lost, he took deep breaths to stop himself from crying. It was all he seemed to do now.

Suddenly his eyes were forced to squint as bright lights assaulted his eyes. He stared up through the glass, once again able to see the ceiling. Seeing that made him desperately want to be free. Hoping beyond hope that the lock might have been taken off, he pushed at the door. But nothing happened. He pushed harder and harder, pressing his back into the stone, but still to no avail. He hit hard at the door in frustration, wincing as pain lanced through his knuckles. Trying to calm himself before he injured himself further, he took some more deep breaths. His hot breath reflected back onto his face, reminding him of just how close that glass panel was. He knew he couldn't carry on like this for much longer, his body could only take so much. He would either die through blood loss or if his body endured much more stress, a heart attack was sounding more and more likely.

"Jason?" He called out weakly. He had to try. "Are you there?" Feeling incredibly sorry for himself, a small sob escaped his lips when no one came to answer his call. "Jason?" He called out quietly, in a broken plea. Then a tall body stood over the glass, looking down at him. It was Jason. Reid's heart leapt.

Jason stared down at Reid as he stood over the glass panel. He smirked at how desperate Reid looked at that moment. He was like a child screaming for his mother. The relief in his victim's face almost made him laugh. He walked away from the glass and out of Reid's view. Reid started calling him again.

"Jason?" He said softly, clearly in the hope that Jason would have some sympathy. When the man didn't return, Reid started shouting again and banging on the door. "JASON!... Jason, please!..." His breathing started picking up again. Jason walked to the chair where there was a square black piece of wood standing behind. He picked it up and made his way back over to the glass panel. Reid was still shouting him.

"Sshhh... I'm here." He said soothingly. Reid was breathing in hitching gasps now. He was clearly distraught.

"Please... Jason... I... I.. can't... breathe..." He continued breathing in this panicked fashion, his chest was too tight to talk properly.

"I know, I know." Jason spoke slowly and softly. "Calm down, take some deep breaths and I will let you out." Reid looked up into his eyes and Jason talked him through breathing slowly. Eventually, his breathing slowed down to a fairly normal rate. "Good, very good." Jason said, in a patronising manner. Then stood up and moved towards the lock, but instead of unlocking it, he picked up the piece of black wood. "Okay, Spence. Well, I've gotta go now for a bit. I'll just cover this up so the light doesn't bother you."

Reid's eyes opened wide as a black panel was put over the glass.

"NO! No, no, Jason! Please! Let me out."

Jason sat silently next to the hole smiling at Reid's pathetic attempts to speak to someone he didn't even know was there. Jason was on a complete control high. The more Reid suffered, the more he wanted him to suffer.

Suddenly he heard footsteps coming from upstairs. They were moving fast. Jason realised his time might just be up. He quickly moved to his chair, took his gun from the concealed storage facility within and ran back to unlock the box containing Reid. Reid pushed the door open with all his might, completely surprised that it actually opened. He was desperately breathing in the cool air that was suddenly surrounding him. Still deep in the midst of a panic attack. All of a sudden he was hauled to his feet by an arm around his throat. Jason didn't have time to even pull him out of the hole before four armed agents entered the room followed by three members of the SWAT team.

"FBI! Drop your weapon!" Hotch shouted.

Jason pushed the gun to Reid's cheek.

"Don't move a fucking muscle." He ordered. They were in a stand off.

Hotch, Prentiss, Morgan and Rossi all had their guns pointed directly at the two men. All attention was focused on the fact that Jason had his gun pointing at Reid's face. Reid was obviously in a complete mess, his clothes were torn, he also had blood caked all over his hands, face, arm and leg. They tried to ignore the hole that Reid was stood in, and how coffin-like it looked. They also tried to ignore the fact that Reid was so desperately scared by something that he couldn't calm his breathing down. Jason had obviously been in the middle of something when they arrived. They all assessed this without letting one emotion pass their face.

"Jason Turner. Drop your weapon now." Hotch ordered.

"Or else what?" He mocked, stroking the gun against Reid's cheek. Reid's eyes darted between his colleagues. Begging one of them to look at him and give him reassurance, but not one of them did. Their faces were all emotionless.

"Or else we will be forced to shoot you." Rossi spoke calmly.

"Well then you'd better have a clear head shot Agent Rossi." He smiled, knowing that none of them did. Reid was in the way of all of them. "Looks like the only one in a position to kill here, is me." He smiled a self-satisfied smile, baiting them for a reaction. He received none.

"We have seven people in here with guns trained on you right now, Jason. Do you really wanna take that bet?" Morgan chipped in.

Reid's breathing was starting to slow down, he was managing to stand on his own weight a lot easier now. He couldn't believe that the team was there. He felt like he was hallucinating. He thought they didn't know.

Jason, noticing that Reid was standing now, released the grip from around his neck but didn't move his arm.

"Well let's test that shall we?" Jason smiled. "If any of you have a shot on me, then you will, of course, take me out before I can do this." His hand moved down Reid's chest. Reid turned bright red and moved his hands to grab Jason's. The gun was then forcefully moved to under his chin. "Get off!" Jason shouted down his ear, making him wince. His hands automatically moved out of Jason's way.

Morgan wanted to throttle Jason. The look on Reid's face was killing him. He just wanted to help him, but he knew from the look in Reid's eyes, they were already too late. He kept his focus on Jason, trying to keep his face completely straight.

"You think that bothers us?" Rossi spoke.

"Doesn't it?" Jason moved his hand down to Reid's thigh then started stroking upwards towards his groin. Reid closed his eyes, deeply embarrassed.

"No... Why would it?" Rossi stared at him calmly. Reid opened his eyes slightly to look at Rossi, he looked hurt. Rossi ignored it. Whereas Jason was starting to look confused.

"So you wouldn't mind if I do this then?" He pulled his hand up to Reid's groin and squeezed. Reid shifted uncomfortably, his face flushing again. He looked desperately to Morgan, then Prentiss then Hotch, for someone to say something. But none of them did.

"Nope, go ahead." Rossi said casually.

"We're paid to be here." Hotch said in an equally carefree tone. "Otherwise, we wouldn't be here."

"Get your kicks while you can." Prentiss said, smiling slightly. She hated herself.

Reid looked to them, brows furrowed.

"Well what about you, Derek?" He licked Reid's ear. "You don't mind if I..." His hand moved to Reid's button on his trousers and started unfastening them.

"No." Reid whispered. "Please."

"Sshhh... Spence. This doesn't involve you." He reached his hand inside the trousers. Reid could feel Jason's hardness pressing up against him and his head quickly took him to being strapped to the bed. He shook away the thought.

Morgan could feel his heart pounding, he was trying his hardest to stop his gun from shaking, to stop his eyes from showing how he truly felt. He was doing well, but he knew he had to speak. And that would most likely give him away. He looked away from Reid's distressed eyes and into Jason's smug ones.

"Do what you want. The kid's no concern of mine." He said coldly.

Jason's eyes flickered for a second. He was clearly confused, but a flicker of desperation told the team they were doing the right thing.

He started rubbing at Reid's groin now, making his victim gasp.

"Morgan, please." His begged in his soft high pitched voice. He then looked to Hotch, desperately wanting someone to help him. "Hotch, help me." He whispered, his eyes wide and pleading.

"No one is going to help you, Spence." Reid moved his hands back to pull at Jason's, but the gun was pushed further into his flesh. "Get the fuck off." He hissed. Reid then broke into a sob. He didn't know what else to do. He was so embarrassed. He just wanted to die. Jason paused, tensely. "I said, get the fuck off!" Jason shouted down his ear. Reid closed his eyes in a surreal moment of calm.

Suddenly he turned himself round in Jason's grip and grabbed his hand with the gun and pushed it up against his own chin again. Now he was facing a shocked Jason. He stared him straight in the eyes and shouted.

"Shoot me!" He screamed, his voice hoarse. "Fucking shoot me!"

Jason looked at Reid completely shocked, his mouth dropped open at the sudden act from his victim. The team were equally shocked, Morgan and Hotch had suddenly called out to Reid in the heat of the moment and now they were stood watching their colleague ordering a man to shoot him.

Jason made no move, it was clear he wasn't going to shoot him. Reid's anger suddenly dissipated as he realised Jason was never actually going to kill him. What had everything been for? If Jason was never going to kill him, how on earth did he end up letting him do what he wanted? Then, all the anger and frustration he had felt since he had been taken away from his life came flooding back and he gave Jason an almighty shove, grabbing the gun from him as he did so. Jason fell backwards against the far wall and was left in a sitting position.

"Reid! No!" Hotch shouted as Reid pointed the gun at the man's head.

Hotch dropped his gun and ran towards Reid in what almost felt like slow motion. He leapt at the young agent. Their bodies collided just as Reid pulled the trigger. Reid toppled to the floor as Hotch landed on him, tripping up over the edge of the hole. His painful leg screamed at him as Hotch crushed him to the floor and the breath escaped from his lungs.

The gunshot missed Jason's head, catching him in the shoulder. The man cried out as waves of pain radiated from the bullet wound. Morgan and Rossi were then upon him.

"We need a medic in here!" Hotch shouted.

"Get up!" Morgan yelled. Tugging Jason up onto his feet.

"You're fucking hurting me!" Jason shouted at him.

"Good." Rossi stated simply.

Morgan roughly cuffed Jason's wrists.

Lewis entered with JJ and another of his team members. They had come purely to take Jason back to the BAU. They knew the team needed to be with Reid.

"Get him out of here." Morgan shoved him towards his old colleagues.

"Gladly." Lewis said, his voice full of venom.

"No!" Jason shouted pulling against the two agents. "No, you can't take him away from me!" He fought to get back to Reid. He was lay on the floor next to Hotch, who was trying to calm his breathing with a hand on his back. "Get the fuck off him!" Jason shouted. Then he was pulled out of the room.

Morgan and Rossi stood looking out after Jason for a few moments, in a complete daze. They were brought back to the present by the entrance of the medics who promptly moved Hotch out of the way.

"He's hyperventilating, he needs some O2." The younger man said.

"It's okay, son. Calm down." An older man was trying his best to hold Reid still whilst they put a mask on him and examined his injuries.

"Look at his arm." The younger man said in shock.

"Careful, careful!" The older man was trying to stop Reid from hitting out at them. Reid was trying his best to get the men away from him, he just wanted two minutes of space. Something he felt like he hadn't had for an eternity.

"Hold on!" Prentiss said, pushing in. "Just give him a minute!" She shooed away the paramedics. She knelt down next to her younger colleague. His breathing was going ten to the dozen, he pulled his mask off in a desperate attempt to have some space. "Can you here me, Reid?" No response, his eyes were tightly shut. "Reid?" She touched his arm and he flinched. "REID! It's me! Emily!" Suddenly he froze, opening his eyes, daring to look. When he saw her face, he visibly relaxed. Hotch's tackle had obviously scared the life out of him. But it needed to be done. His breathing slowed down considerably once he was more aware of his surroundings. "Reid?" She spoke softly, looking to her colleagues who were all looking at Reid sadly. JJ's had tears rolling down her face. Morgan looked desperate to help in some way and Hotch and Rossi had similar seriously concerned faces. "You need to go to the hospital. These guys are going to help you. But I will stay with you if you want, okay?"

Reid simply nodded his head, too exhausted to say anything else.

Prentiss slipped the mask back onto his face and then moved behind Reid to help him sit up. His hair fell in front of his face. He looked terrible.

"What's your name, son?" The older medic asked.

"Spencer." Prentiss answered.

"Okay, Spencer, can you stand up?"

"No... Reid." He breathed out.

"What did he say?" The younger medic looked to Prentiss. She furrowed her brows.

"I think he wants you to call him Reid."

"Okay, can you stand up, Reid?" The older medic asked.

Reid simply nodded.

"Okay, we're gonna get you onto a gurney, but we need you to stand up. Okay?"

"After three Reid." Prentiss instructed, she nodded to the older man on the other side of him to take some of his weight. "One, two, three!"

They pulled Reid up to standing, he winced as his weight accidentally went to his injured leg. Morgan looked to Rossi and Hotch, shaking his head at the condition his youngest colleague was in. Reid limped his way over to the gurney and collapsed onto it, with help from Prentiss and the paramedic, he managed to lie down.

"Okay, we need to get him into the ambulance, he needs IV fluids and some analgesics."

Reid's tired eyes opened wide suddenly, trying to abruptly sit up.

"No narcotics, no narcotics." He said, looking desperately from Prentiss to the paramedic.

The paramedics looked to the team to make sure Reid wasn't delusional.

"You do what he says, man." Morgan shrugged. They all exchanged glances. Saddened to think that Tobias Hankel was still having an impact on his life. Morgan couldn't help but wonder for how long Jason would be a part of Reid's life now.

When the paramedics were just getting Reid ready to be moved out, the team approached their youngest colleague.

"Hey kid." Morgan smiled. A sad look in his eyes.

Reid's eyes were tired, it was clear that he wasn't fully focused. His mind was obviously exhausted. Once the adrenaline had left his body, it was clear there wasn't much else left. He glanced up at Morgan, a soft expression in his eyes.

"Hey." He said quietly. He looked to the other members of his team, stood around his gurney. Thinking about how he thought he'd never see them again. "I didn't think you knew." He spoke from behind the mask, had he spoken any quieter they would have missed it.

"We knew." Rossi said, smiling. "Who do you take us for?"

Reid managed a small split second smile. It never reached his eyes.

"We're sorry for what we said just now." Hotch said in his official tone. "You know that was just for the profile don't you. He needed to see us upset to complete his fantasy."

Reid closed his eyes, nodding. Pushing away the nasty words they had said. He still had Jason's voice in his head telling him that they wanted rid of him, but he ignored it. For the moment.

They all just stood for a few moments, taking in the sight of their colleague. So grateful that they actually managed to find him.

"Okay, we've gotta move him out now. Who's riding?" The younger man asked.

The team looked at each other, all deep down wanting to go with him, but none willing to push the others out.

"I vote JJ." Prentiss said. "You can call Garcia and get her to meet you there." She then muted her voice so Reid couldn't hear. "I think a woman might be the best idea right now."

Hotch nodded, lowering his eyes to the ground.

"That okay, JJ?" He turned to her.

She unfolded her arms, surprised to be going. But completely relieved, not only was she glad to be with Reid, but she was glad to be leaving the 'crime scene'. She couldn't deal with that and she did not envy the rest of her team.

"Yes, of course." She half smiled, then turned to the paramedics. "Let's go." She followed Reid and the paramedics up the stairs and out of the room.

"Call us!" Morgan shouted after her. The team stood in silence for a good minute just surveying the scene. "My god." Morgan said, shaking his head.

"Did you see his arm?" Prentiss said, in somewhat of a trance. "That had obviously been done with some sort of knife. It looked as though it said something."

"Mine." They turned to look at Rossi. "It said 'MINE'"

They all stared at him, not knowing what to say. Hotch then pulled his gaze to the floor desperate to change the subject. The coffin shaped hole lay before him. Reid's blood staining the floor and the door from where he had cut up his hands through banging.

He knelt down, not touching anything as he knew the CSI's would be there soon.

"He must have locked him in here." He looked at the square black piece of wood. "And used this to block out his light."

"That was probably what he'd been doing when we entered. Reid was still stood in that hole." Rossi added.

"His two worst fears, enclosed spaces and the dark." Morgan shook his head in disgust.

Hotch looked up to the chair in the corner and the bottle of whisky that resided next to it. Prentiss followed his gaze.

"He'd been drinking." Prentiss said.

"And clearly wasn't in a good mood." Rossi pointed to the pieces of broken glass on the floor. Obviously from some sort of drinking glass.

This brought him to the bed. He had to close his eyes for a moment to compose himself. He had seen some awful things in his time, some crime scenes much more disturbing than this one. But he knew Reid. That made it all different. It was horrible on a completely different level.

When he opened his eyes, Hotch was next to him.

"You okay, Dave?" He said quietly.

"Yeah." Rossi was not entirely convincing, but Hotch let it go.

They all stared at the bed, all of them unable to say anything for a good minute or two. It was covered in blood from where Reid had been stabbed. The remnants of the leather straps were still evident, two at hand level, one at the midsection and two at thigh level. Then there were two chains attached to the top of the bed and two at the bottom.

Seeing how despondent everyone was looking, Prentiss felt the need to say something to fill the silence.

"We don't know that he used all this stuff guys." She said, knowing it was not her best attempt at being positive.

"I gotta go. I can't do this." Morgan said all of a sudden. Quickly turning away from the bed and leaving the room.

"He really wanted to dominate, didn't he." Rossi said, it was more a statement than a question.

Hotch couldn't take the sickened look off his face. He couldn't believe he'd let this happen to Reid. He was the youngest member of the team, that meant they should all have been looking out for him. Even though Hotch knew he wasn't a child, he was still young for his age. He needed support and once again, Hotch had failed him.

For the first time since Haley's death, Rossi turned to see tears in Hotch's eyes.

He looked across to Prentiss who had also lowered her gaze and was deep in thought. The next moment, she looked up and excused herself from the room.

"You okay, Aaron?" Rossi asked. Hotch simply shook his head. "I know it's hard, but you can't blame yourself."

"This is the second time something like this has happened to Reid whilst I've been in charge. Not to mention the fact that he has also been held hostage _and_ contracted Anthrax. I'm obviously doing something wrong." Hotch looked at the straps on the bed, they turned his stomach.

"No, Aaron. Sometimes people are just unlucky."

"Yeah, well it's about time his luck changed." Hotch said moodily. "I mean, look at this Dave." He gestured to the bed. "If Jason has done all he set out to do, then how is Reid ever going to get over that? He's not exactly trusting as it is."

"We'll deal with it." Rossi said confidently. The CSI's then started to filter into the room.

"Has anything been moved?" A female investigator asked.

"No, it's as it was." Hotch answered.

"Let's get out of here." Rossi tried to draw Hotch's attention away from the room. As Hotch turned to follow him, something in the corner of the room caught his eye.

"Wait." He said suddenly. Rossi turned around, curiously watching Hotch squint his eyes, moving over to the corner of the room. He was looking up at something. Hotch suddenly knocked on the wall. It was hollow. "This is made out of wood." He glanced up to a well concealed gap in the corner. "What is that?"

Taking a standing a few steps behind Hotch, Rossi stood on his tip toes and the light caught the object at the right angle. His eyes were suddenly apprehensive.

"It's a camera." Hotch turned to look at him in horror.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hola! Sorry for the time taken to update, I have been writing many many plays for my work at the moment. I have also found this chapter the most difficult to write, not really sure why! Writer's block has been a bit of a problem! Anyway, you have this nice long chapter to make up for it. Thank you once again for all the reviews, I'm so glad you're still enjoying the story. Apologies again for the wait. Hope you enjoy! :)**

JJ sat in the hospital's waiting room with her head in her hands. The exhaustion of the last 14 hours was finally catching up with her. She was devastated when she saw the condition that Reid was in. But couldn't believe the team's luck when they had found him in such a short time period.

Not that it made much of a difference, what was done was done. And that fact could never be changed, however short a time Reid's ordeal had lasted.

Suddenly Garcia came running into the hospital. She went straight to a nurse in a complete panic.

"Spencer Reid! I'm looking for Spencer Reid! He was brought in with-"

"Garcia." JJ called to her frantic friend.

JJ couldn't hold back a slight smile at her friend's appearance. The bright colours of her turquoise pencil skirt, red shoes and orange top were a complete contrast to the dreary colours of the hospital. That wasn't even mentioning her make up or accessories.

"Oh JJ! Thank god." She rushed over to her friend and sat down next to her. It was now JJ noticed she'd been crying. "How is he? Where is he? What's happening?" JJ grabbed her hand.

"Penelope. Calm down. Take a couple of breaths." Garcia followed her command instantly. This type of thing was JJ's speciality. There was a reason why she'd held the position of Communications Liaison for so many years.

"Sorry." Garcia said quickly. "Is he okay?" JJ furrowed her brows, not quite knowing how to answer. 'Okay' was probably not the word she would have used to describe him.

"He's alive." She nodded. "He's in surgery now."

"Surgery?" Garcia's eyes opened wide again. "Why's he in surgery?"

"The doctor said he was stabbed in the leg." Garcia gasped. "They said it's just a simple procedure to clean and close the wound."

"Oh my god. My poor baby." Garcia turned sadly away from JJ. "How did he look?" She spoke quietly, clearly not sure whether she wanted to hear the answer.

JJ cleared her throat uncomfortably, she didn't feel happy discussing this with Garcia. She worried about how her friend would react.

"He... didn't look great." Garcia turned back, a tear running down her cheek.

"Why is it always Reid, JJ? I don't understand it. He's such a good person. He'd never hurt anyone. I just wish people would leave him alone."

"I know." JJ, her own eyes tearing up, put her arm around Garcia, bringing her best friend into a hug. "I know."

They sat like that for nearly half an hour. Garcia had her head resting on JJ's shoulder when she saw Hotch enter the hospital, followed by Rossi, then Morgan and Prentiss. They went straight to the desk.

"Guys!" Garcia called them over.

"Guys, Garcia and JJ." Morgan motioned them over to the two women.

"What's happening?" Hotch questioned in his usual serious tone.

"He's in surgery."

"Surgery?" Morgan asked. "Why?"

"He was stabbed in the leg, they have to close up the wound." JJ said simply. She didn't have the energy to keep going through the same emotional revelations.

Morgan dropped onto a chair opposite the two women.

"Have they said when he'll be out?" Hotch asked.

"No. They said it would be a short procedure though. But they are dealing with everything else too whilst he's out. His examination, stitches, everything."

"Good idea." Rossi nodded in approval.

"Has anyone been to speak with you since?" Prentiss asked.

"No." JJ replied. Clearly quite frustrated with the whole thing.

"I'll find a doctor." Hotch stood up and went to the desk. A few moments later, a doctor emerged and went straight over to the group.

"Spencer Reid?" The female doctor asked.

"Hotch." Rossi called over to draw the man's attention. Hotch noticing the doctor, quickly brought himself back to the group.

"Yes. What can you tell us?" Morgan asked the doctor.

"Can we go somewhere... more private." She said, looking around.

"Of course." Hotch answered.

"I'll take you into a relative's room." She motioned for the group to follow her and she lead them down the corridor to a small room. It had dusky pink walls and 3 grey couches. Morgan looked around, he thought he may have preferred the waiting room. "Please, have a seat."

They all followed the doctor's instruction, their hearts were in their mouths. Blood pumping around their bodies at a ridiculous rate.

"I'm Dr. Marston. I will be Spencer's doctor for the duration of his stay in hospital. I have been informed of the circumstances of his situation and of your involvement with his case. So I do have permission to share his medical details with you."

"I'm Agent Rossi, these are Agents Morgan, Prentiss and Jareau. Our boss Agent Hotchner and our analyst Garcia." They each nodded as they were introduced. The anxiety was written all over their faces.

"I can't pretend I'll remember all of your names." She smiled.

"Don't worry." Hotch quickly brushed her joke aside. "How is he? We need all the information you have."

"Okay." The doctor nodded, understanding the position they were in. "Well he had a deep stab wound to the back of his thigh. It narrowly missed his artery. The surgeon was able to repair the wound. He's currently on IV antibiotics to prevent the wound from getting infected." The doctor looked slightly nervous to continue with her assessment after watching the team's reactions. "I don't have to give you so much detail if you don't want?" She looked to each of them.

"No. We are not only his colleagues, but we are working his case. We have to have the details. All of them." Rossi said, his face tense.

"Okay, as you wish. But it doesn't make for pleasant listening I'm afraid." The doctor warned gently.

"That doesn't matter." Hotch answered quickly.

"Okay, well I'll start from the top and work my way down." She looked to her notes for some help. "He has had numerous blows to the head. Seemingly with blunt objects. He had a wound to the right side of his head, which almost certainly would have knocked him out. Concussion is likely, how severe, we won't know until he wakes. There was a cut above his eyebrow that required stitching. The bruising to his face is quite extensive." She paused for a moment, not wanting to give them too much information at once. "His cheekbone has also been fractured." The team all winced at the thought. Garcia grabbed JJ's hand and held it tightly. "There was also evidence of him being hit in the face with something glass. Some of the bigger shards had been removed, but there were still some smaller shards in the wounds. These have now been cleaned and stitched" Rossi nodded, remembering the glass he found on the floor.

"Oh my god." Garcia said in shock.

"Garcia, do you want to wait outside?" Morgan asked gently.

"No... no." She whispered, trying to convince herself. "I need to hear this."

"Shall I continue?" Dr. Marston asked. When Hotch nodded, she nodded back. "Moving downwards, he has some markings around his neck, a bit like you would see on someone who has been strangled. Possibly from a belt. There are also some finger marks. He also has ligature marks around both his ankles and his wrists." Morgan dropped his head into his hands. He knew he had definitely been attached to that bed. "He has also fractured three of his knuckles, two on his right hand, one on his left. The skin on his hands has also been bleeding badly. We have cleaned them up and obviously the antibiotics will reduce the chance of infection. He also has a cracked rib and the rest of his abdomen is very badly bruised. But generally none of these injuries give me cause for concern. However, he does have some cuts to his right forearm that _are_ a cause for concern. It isn't so much the severity of these wounds as it is the nature."

"What do you mean?" JJ asked, tears running slowly down her face. She wiped them away as the team looked at her.

"The cuts spell out the word 'MINE'." Dr. Marston replied, slowly and gently.

"What?" JJ said in angry shock.

"Oh my god, oh my god." Garcia said in an upset panic. Morgan put his arm around her and she buried her head in his chest.

"How bad are they?" Hotch asked, keeping his emotions in check.

"They are quite deep. They will scar." Dr. Marston didn't want to lie to them. "But that's not my only concern." She continued, taking a breath. "There were also signs of... sexual assault."

At that moment, the atmosphere could have been cut with a knife. They all knew it was coming, but no one wanted to believe it. In a way, they had hoped that finding him so quickly would have spared him that trauma. Morgan dropped his head into his hands, he felt sick. All he wanted to do was kick the living daylights out of Jason Turner. Dr. Marston glanced around the room, taking in the reactions of the team, gauging when it might be an appropriate moment to continue speaking.

When Hotch finally took his hand away from his mouth, Dr. Marston felt able to speak again.

"I'm sure you will all understand, given this information, why my primary concern is not necessarily his physical health, more his mental health." Hotch nodded, brows deeply furrowed. "I have referred him to a Psychiatrist who, obviously, won't come to see him until his condition improves slightly, but his release from hospital will be subject to a psychological evaluation."

Dr. Marston sat for a few moments, allowing the team to take in all of this information. She then picked up Reid's file from the table to signal she had finished talking.

"When can we see him?" Prentiss spoke for the first time. She looked completely deflated. Dr. Marston smiled at her.

"He's just in the recovery room right now, so in about half an hour. He will be tired from the anaesthetic, but should be able to speak to you. But I don't recommend asking too many questions right now. I think a couple of people at a time is recommended, at least if you plan on staying for a while anyway." She waited and looked around the room as if to ask whether there were any further questions.

"Thank you." Hotch said politely, in his short business like tone.

Dr. Marston nodded and moved towards the door.

"You are welcome to stay in here whilst you wait for him. If you need anything, just ask one of the nurses." She opened the door and left.

The team sat in complete silence. Morgan was sat forwards, his head supported by his hands. Garcia was sat bolt upright in shock, the odd tear tracing a line down her face. Rossi and Hotch were seemingly entranced with the floor. Neither of them being the type for overly dramatic displays of emotion. JJ was sat back in the couch, elbow on the rest next to her, hand resting on her forehead. Her blue eyes shining bright with tears. Sat opposite, Emily was leaning back into the couch, her head resting backwards in a gesture of hopelessness. Unlike the other ladies in the room, she wasn't crying. However much she felt like it.

Suddenly Morgan sighed, filling the silence and bringing each of them out of their own thoughts. He rubbed his face, stressed.

"I wanna kill that guy." Morgan spoke, his voice dangerously low.

"Get in line." Rossi replied in a similar tone.

Normally Hotch would be jumping in, trying to get them to focus their minds on something more productive. But now, he merely nodded, feeling equally as angry.

"He scarred his arm." JJ said in something of a gasp. "He did _that_ to him and then he scarred him." She sounded almost in a trance, speaking to no one in particular.

At this Garcia started crying again.

"This is all my fault." She wailed.

"No, Garcia. It's not." Morgan reassured her.

"I worked around him. I saw him everyday. I should have known!" Garcia ranted, deeply upset. "Even when you guys told me, I still didn't believe you."

"Yeah well let's not get started on who didn't believe what." Morgan answered, clearly guilt ridden himself. He paused for a few moments. "That place is gonna haunt my dreams for years."

JJ cleared her throat, not sure she wanted to ask this question, but feeling she owed it to Reid at least.

"What did you find in there?" JJ sheepishly looked to Morgan.

"I think that's best left 'til later." Rossi quickly intervened.

"No. I wanna know too." Garcia said, wiping the tears away. "If Reid can go through it, then- then the least we can do is understand it."

"But you're needlessly putting yourselves through it... you're just punishing yourselves." Rossi argued.

"Tell us." JJ said, calmly but firmly.

Rossi started hard at the two ladies for a moment. Then he nodded his head, knowing they were not going to back down.

"Well JJ, you at least saw it. It was dark, miserable. Cold." Rossi tried to miss the main facts.

"There was a double bed, at each corner there were chains. There were also straps to keep someone completely immobile. In the middle of the floor there was also a hole covered by a door. Gave him about a foot at his head and the sides and was only three feet deep. There was blood everywhere. Pretty much anyone's idea of hell... I'm going outside for a bit. Let me know if anything happens." Prentiss stood up quickly and left the room, leaving her other colleagues watching after her in stunned silence. Hotch and Rossi really wanted to mention the camera. They looked to each other, clearly making the decision between them to leave it until later.

"Straps? Oh my god." Garcia gasped. "I can't believe this."

"We have no evidence he used them." Rossi said positively, trying to recover some ground. He felt slightly frustrated with Prentiss for reeling off the facts so quickly.

"Oh come on Rossi. We profiled this guy as a control freak. That's what gets him off, and you think he's had all that power at his disposal and not used it? The less control Reid had over the situation, the more Ja- that bastard would have enjoyed it." Morgan argued.

"Okay, too much." Garcia warned. "I can't do this like you guys can. You're used to seeing stuff like this, I can't even hear about it. I mean, a hole too? What was he trying to do?"

"I don't know. I think somehow he must have known that Reid was afraid of the dark and small spaces." Garcia looked to Morgan, suddenly her face looked terrified.

"I told him that." She said in shock. The team stared at Garcia.

"What?" Morgan asked, even though he had heard her the first time.

"I told him that. I told him Reid was scared of the dark and didn't like enclosed spaces." Garcia said, her eyes staring at nothing in particular.

"What do you mean, you told him that? How does that come into everyday conversation?" Rossi asked, slightly annoyed.

"I know, I know!" She replied desperately, she knew she had messed up big time. "We were talking about fears one day and I was telling him that I hate spiders. He said that was a bit boring, so I said something like 'at least I'm not afraid of the dark'. And he asked why I said that. And I told him that Reid still is, but he couldn't tell anyone. Then I told him the lift story. Oh my god. All of this is my fault." Garcia said with a gasp. This time no one corrected her.

"Maybe when we got there he was trying to get him into the box." Morgan said, hopefully.

"No." Hotch cut in suddenly. "There was blood on the inside of the door and on the floor. He had been in there."

"I can't believe this." JJ put her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry guys." Garcia said softly.

"So you should be." JJ turned to her angrily, the team looked at her, shocked. "How stupid can you get Penelope? You gave out personal information to a sadistic psychopath!"

"How should I know that JJ? I'm not like you guys, I don't see danger everywhere I go. I try my best to believe that people are good. And nine times out of ten they are-"

"Yeah, well Jason wasn't!" JJ snapped.

"JJ, enough." Hotch ordered. The room fell into an empty silence again. This time Hotch found himself trying to fill it. "We need to be working together here." Prentiss opened the door to the room, she had been crying but clearly didn't want anyone to mention it. Noticing that Hotch was in the middle of talking, she sat herself down next to Rossi. He turned, smiled gently and put a hand on her knee. She appreciated the gesture. "None of us are blameless. We all could have done something..." Hotch paused, his mind obviously in a memory. "He begged me to believe that he wasn't going crazy. And I didn't listen. I sent him home. And that's something I will have to live with. But it doesn't mean I can't help him now. We all have to be strong and stick together." He looked at JJ in particular. "Blaming each other isn't going to help. He needs to see that we are being strong."

The rest of the team nodded. JJ looked sadly towards Garcia, suddenly feeling terrible for taking her own guilt out on her closest friend. She took Garcia's hand.

"I'm so sorry Penelope. It's not your fault. I'm just so angry right now. I didn't mean to take it out on you." She brought Garcia into a hug.

"That's okay." Garcia said softly, squeezing JJ's hand to reassure her that she wasn't angry.

"I think a round of coffees are in order." Rossi stated simply. "Come on, let's go to the cafeteria."

* * *

><p>The team were all sat in the cafeteria, a cup of coffee each had seemed to perk them up a little. Even though they still felt exhausted, they at least didn't feel like they wanted to kill each other any more.<p>

"So what happened when I was outside? When I came in with Lewis, Jason was bleeding. What happened?" JJ asked in a much calmer manner than she would have done half an hour before.

"Reid managed to get the gun off him. Jason got shot in the struggle." Hotch said simply.

" Nah Hotch, we can't lie about this." Morgan intervened. Hotch just sighed and shrugged his shoulders. They could know as long as he didn't have to answer all the questions. Sometimes being in charge was a large weight to carry. JJ and Garcia were looking between the pair, curiously. "Reid managed to get the gun off Jason. But instead of just taking it, he pushed the gun up to his own chin and shouted at Jason to shoot him."

"Oh my god. Why would he do that?" JJ gasped in shock.

"My guess is he wanted to know whether he would actually do it." Prentiss chipped in.

"And do you think he would?" Garcia questioned.

"No." Prentiss answered. "I think that's why Reid snapped."

Morgan nodded, looking at a confused Garcia and JJ, he explained further.

"When he realised Jason wasn't going to shoot him, he shoved him backwards keeping hold of the gun. He was gonna shoot him, right in the head. But Hotch stopped him."

"Only just." Rossi added.

"That's how he got the wound in his shoulder." Prentiss summarised.

"But why didn't he kill Reid? I don't get it. He had the chance." JJ said. "Or at least go for suicide by cop?"

"I don't think he was quite ready for us. I think we found him sooner than he anticipated. Our profile pointed to someone who would be ready for the stand off, but he was anything but. He was clearly in the middle of something when we arrived. And he hadn't had the time to get Reid under his control either. So he screwed up." Rossi suggested.

"He wouldn't have killed Reid in either situation, Dave." Hotch stated. "You heard him, 'you can't take him away from me'. Those aren't the words of someone who was going to dispose of somebody like that."

"Guys, can we _please_ just stop profiling for two minutes. It's giving me a headache." Morgan said dramatically.

"Aww... poor baby." Garcia smiled at him, squeezing his cheek teasingly. For the first time since the whole drama began, the team shared a genuine moment of happiness as they all smiled at each other.

"Girl, you squeeze my cheek again, I might have to squeeze one of your cheeks, if you know what I'm sayin'." Morgan teased.

"Oh my, chocolate thunder, you have just made my month."

"Only a month?" Morgan looked mock hurt. It felt good to be normal for a short while.

Hotch was watching the pair with an absent smile, when he turned to see Dr. Marston approaching. He waved his hand at the rest of the team to signal her arrival. Suddenly, their faces dropped back into their sad expressions and they turned in the direction of the female doctor. Hotch stood to greet her.

"Agent Hotchner." He nodded, smiling a stiff smile. "Spencer is out of the recovery room now and has been admitted to a ward. Given his circumstances, we have placed him in a side room. You and your team are more than welcome to go and see him, but please don't press him with any questions. He is clearly very tired and quite distressed. He has asked for you already."

Hotch nodded. His stomach doing a little flip at the thought of seeing Reid. He was incredibly nervous, he knew he should be the one to set an example, but he was terrified that Reid would somehow not be the same.

"Will you take us to him?"

"Of course." Dr. Marston smiled.

He turned to the team and motioned for them to follow. They left the cafeteria and headed towards their friend.

* * *

><p>Reid was sat up in a hospital bed. He still couldn't quite believe that he was out of that dreadful place. He was safe. But he still felt so unsafe.<p>

Every person who looked at him, talked to him, touched him. Would they be like Jason? Trust was something he had always found hard to give and now he had very little to spare. He leaned his head back onto the pillow behind him, closing his eyes as the dull throb of a headache started to take hold.

He felt a lot cleaner now. They had obviously done a good job. He shuddered as he thought of what the medical staff must have seen.

He wanted to open his eyes but was finding it so hard. The trauma of the last... however long he had been missing was catching up with him. Pairing that with the anaesthetic, keeping his eyes open was near impossible. He soon found himself drifting off into a dream.

_It was so dark. He was lay on his back. When he went to sit up, his face hit something hard. He was back in the coffin shaped hole. _

_Reid started shaking instantly. Calling out for someone, any one who could hear him._

_"Jason?" He stroked at the wood in front of him. "Please Jason. Where are you?... Hotch? Morgan? Someone? Please! Get me out of here!" _

_He banged frantically on the wood. The door suddenly opened._

_Weakly, Reid got himself to his feet. Jason was stood in front of him. _

_"Spence..." He whispered, moving up to Reid. Reid hit out at him, but his hit was weak. So he hit again, and again, and again. No matter how many times he tried, his hit had no force. Almost as if it was going through Jason. _

_Jason was suddenly pulling him towards the bed and pushing him down onto it. He tried to beg him not to, but his voice made no sound. Jason was all over him, kissing him on his face, neck, chest. His hands roamed everywhere. The more panicked Reid got, the faster his movements were. His arms suddenly wouldn't work for some inexplicable reason. He couldn't move them. Couldn't fight._

_"You're mine Spence..."_

"No." He mumbled in his tortured sleep. His eyes were moving quickly underneath the lids.

Hotch and the team had just arrived at his room in time to hear a whimper. They all rushed to his bedside.

"Is he okay?" JJ asked, panicked.

His face was starting to look tense and his brows twitched.

"Reid?" Hotch shook him gently.

_Jason rolled him onto his front, it didn't matter what Reid did. Kicking, biting, rolling, nothing worked. Jason was still on top of him. Jason grabbed his wrists and pushed them up by his head as he continued to kiss every inch of his victim. Reid shuddered. He looked at the arm next to him, his own arm, it was bleeding heavily. Reid examined the wound, it said 'FILTH' in big capital letters. _

_"The things you do to me Spence... you're pure filth."_

Reid was shaking his head now.

"No, no, no, no. Please." He muttered again in his sleep.

Morgan leaned in, taking his hand and slapping it.

"Reid, kid! Wake up!"

"Get off me, get off me." Reid's face screwed up almost in pain as he kept muttering. His hands were coming up to fight Morgan.

Morgan looked desperately to the rest of the team, really searching for permission to be a little more forceful. Hotch nodded.

Morgan grabbed Reid by the shoulders and shook him hard whilst calling his name. Suddenly Reid's eyes shot open and he took a shocked inhale of breath. For a few moments he didn't recognise Morgan and tried to fight him off.

"Kid... kid! It's alright. It's okay, it's okay!" Reid was breathing heavily. Suddenly realising it was Morgan who had hold of him, Reid relaxed back into his pillow, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead. He looked slightly embarrassed. "You alright?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah." Reid breathed out and swallowed. "Just a bad dream." He closed his eyes for a few moments trying to steady his breathing.

"I'll go get some chairs." Prentiss nodded to Rossi who went with her.

Soon they were back and dealt out chairs to the rest of the team. They promptly shuffled around Reid's bedside and sat down. Morgan and JJ at either side closest to him.

"How you feeling?" JJ leaned in and put her hand on Reid's.

"Like I've been hit by a truck." Reid smiled slightly trying to lighten the mood.

"You look like it." Prentiss said in her usual mocking tone. JJ looked at her as if she had said something dreadful.

"Thanks." Reid mumbled sarcastically.

Hotch looked at his youngest team member, his face was badly bruised, his cheekbone swollen and almost black. He had stitches above his eyebrow and a split lip. He looked terrible. The dark circles around his eyes were a few shades darker than usual. His arm was bandaged from the elbow to the wrist and he dreaded to think what it looked like underneath. He was all of a sudden incredibly sad. He looked to the rest of his team who were clearly having the same thoughts. He watched them look Reid up and down, then frown.

This didn't go unnoticed by Reid. He shifted uncomfortably, moving his bandaged arm under the covers.

An awkward silence descended over the group. None of them really sure what to say.

"I'm really sorry, Reid." Garcia suddenly burst out. "I had no idea he was like that, I'm so so sorry." Reid shook his head, but she kept apologising. "If I had just thought about it for two minutes, if I'd noticed something, you wouldn't be here now and none of this would have happened and-"

"Garcia." Reid cut her off. "It's not important now. I'm okay." He felt incredibly uncomfortable with this.

"We're all sorry, Spence." JJ spoke squeezing his hand. But to her surprise he pulled it away, furrowing his brows.

"Don't call me that." He closed his eyes as if he was blocking something out.

JJ looked to the rest of the team, slightly hurt and confused.

"What?... Spence?" He flinched, almost like he'd been burned.

"Yeah, I don't like it." JJ looked at him concerned, she laughed defensively.

"It's never bothered you before. I've always called you Spence." She glanced around the room looking for support, but the others were staring hard at Reid.

"And I've always not liked it." He snapped back, staring her straight in the eyes.

JJ's eyes glistened with tears for a few moments until she blinked them away. She pulled her gaze away from Reid's, conceding.

"Fine." She sighed.

Reid then looked around the room at all the other eyes on him. Irritation flashed across his features.

"What?" He asked in a clipped tone. Rossi held his hands up.

"Nothing." He shook his head.

"Are you okay, kid?" Morgan sat forward, putting his hand on Reid's shoulder.

"I'm fine." Reid replied through gritted teeth.

"I know you're angry-"

"Angry? What about?" Reid interrupted quickly.

"We let you down, we didn't believe you." Morgan said gently.

"Oh yeah. No. I'm not angry." Reid replied. He was speaking quicker than usual in a muttered sort of tone. It reminded JJ of the avoidance he had when she tried to talk to him about Emily's 'death'.

"It's okay if you are, man."

"Oh no. No. The people I used to trust with my life believed in me so much that they thought I was going mad. No. I can't see there's anything that I could be angry about." Reid used a joyful tone to emphasise his point.

"So you are angry." Morgan summarised. The others noted the use of the words 'used to'. JJ dropped her head into her hands, sighing. Reid's hands were shaking.

"That's if you were just onlookers, of course." Then he suddenly went quiet.

The team exchanged concerned glances.

"What do you mean?" Rossi asked.

"Doesn't matter." He mumbled.

"It matters to us." Hotch said sternly.

"Maybe I'm the one who should be apologising for still being here. Would have solved a problem for you, right Hotch?" Reid had that look in his eyes that told Hotch he was up for an argument. This concerned him. The rest of the team were looking between the pair, curious about whether there was something they'd missed.

"I don't know what you're talking about Reid." Hotch kept his face and tone serious.

"Convenient." Reid quipped looking off to the side.

"Reid, if you have something to say, then come out and say it." Hotch ordered.

Uncertainty flickered in Reid's eyes for a few moments, then it was gone, replaced again by a hard challenging stare.

"I know about the memo Hotch." He looked knowingly into his boss' eyes. His reaction surprised him. He appeared genuinely confused.

"Memo?" Hotch asked. "Right?" He said, urging Reid to continue.

"About budget cuts and staff redundancies." When Hotch looked none the wiser, Reid continued. "I know you had to report back as to which staff you could do without. Funny that it was around the same time as my stuff started going missing and you all thought I was crazy." Reid seemed quite pleased with himself, as if he had solved some almighty riddle.

Hotch stared hard at Reid, trying to see any signs of doubt, but he saw none. Jason had really done a number on him. Garcia's mouth dropped open and she turned to Hotch for confirmation that it wasn't true.

"So you've seen this memo then." Hotch answered simply.

Reid furrowed his brows.

"No."

Hotch nodded thoughtfully.

"You came to this realisation by yourself then?"

Reid paused for a moment before answering then swallowed thickly.

"Yes."

"Right, of course." Hotch stared straight at him. "There is no such memo. There never has been. As a matter of fact, the BAU is getting more funding over the next year, not less."

Reid suddenly looked lost. It didn't make sense. Why would Jason say that to him? He was right, he had nothing to gain from it.

"No..." Reid said quietly.

"Listen to Hotch, Reid." Rossi said, trying to draw his attention.

"I have never and would never do that to you, or anyone else for that matter."

"No. He had no reason to lie. He already had everything he wanted." Reid muttered in confusion.

"Reid, come on! You're a profiler damn it." Rossi answer passionately. "Why do you think he would say that?"

"Jason was knocking down your defences, Reid." Hotch continued. "He didn't want you to trust anyone."

"Looks like he did a good job of that." JJ muttered angrily.

Reid's eyes darted between Rossi and Hotch. He knew it was the truth, in the back of his mind, he knew that Jason was lying. But the team had still let him down, and he was angry for that. Perhaps that was why he'd taken Jason's lie so easily too.

"You have every right to be angry Reid. Especially with me. I sent you home. I put you in that position. And if you want someone to be annoyed at, be annoyed with me. But don't punish the rest of the team." Hotch said, staring hard at Reid.

Reid's head dropped in response, his gaze moved down to his bed sheets.

"How long was I gone for?" He whispered, clearly trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Fourteen hours." Emily answered.

Reid's head shot up.

"Fourteen hours?" He looked horrified.

"Yeah... fourteen hours." Emily repeated, she looked at him in confusion.

"Fourteen hours." He said mostly to himself. He sounded completely exasperated. He then turned to Morgan. "So he didn't go into work then?"

"Into work, man, no! I'd have had his head on a stick if he had!" Reid's eyebrows twitched as he went over the various things Jason had said. Morgan looked around at everyone, they were all clearly as concerned about Reid's mental state as he was. He barely seemed to know what day it was. "We were only two hours behind- Reid, what is this?" Morgan cut himself off, noticing how troubled his younger colleague suddenly looked.

"He said he spoke to you. He went into work and you guys you... you weren't looking for me. You didn't know I was gone. I went to sleep, when I woke up he told me I'd slept through the night and he was just on his lunch break from work. He- he showed me his watch. It said 12.30."

The team exchanged sad sympathetic glances. Morgan's soft gaze met Reid's confused eyes.

"He lied Reid." He said softly.

"Fourteen hours?" Reid looked devastated. How could he feel so different after only fourteen hours.

Morgan glanced around at his colleagues.

"Could you give us a minute alone please?" Morgan asked them. Hotch noticed the slight apprehension that crossed Reid's face when Morgan had spoken. As did Morgan. He did feel slightly offended, but understood. "Baby girl, you stay in with us, please?" A small hint of relief flickered in Reid's eyes. Morgan had never thought he would ever have to keep a woman in the same room as him and Reid just so his friend could feel safe. The thought deeply unsettled and upset him.

Understanding Morgan's motives, Hotch nodded, standing up. The rest of the team followed his lead.

"I'll come back and see you later, Reid." Prentiss smiled as she left the room. Rossi just nodded. JJ was too upset to say anything, she clearly just wanted to get outside the room and cry. Hotch turned just before he left the room.

"Don't keep him awake too long." He ordered to Morgan and Garcia. They both nodded. Then he looked to Reid. "Good to have you back."

Reid gave a sheepish smile, feeling like a naughty school child. Hotch turned and left, closing the door behind him.

Morgan took a deep breath, Reid was watching him with a guarded expression. Morgan eventually sat himself forward and looked Reid square in the eyes, in return he looked away.

"Reid. Look at me." Morgan said gently, but firmly.

Reid didn't respond. Morgan tried again.

"Reid." When Reid refused to look up, Morgan reached over to gently grab his chin and turn his head. As he did so, Reid's yanked his head out of Morgan's reach and violently hit at his hand.

"Don't!" Reid warned.

Garcia's mouth dropped open at seeing Reid so openly aggressive.

"Sorry man, my bad." Morgan held his hands up, shaking his head at Garcia to tell her not to worry. Morgan shook his hand dispelling the pain from where he had been struck. He had never realised how much power Reid could put behind a hit before.

He suddenly noticed tears gathering in Reid's eyes. Morgan took another deep breath.

"Kid," Reid still didn't look at either of them. "We know what he did to you." Reid's head dropped and he closed his eyes. Garcia's eyes were now starting to cloud with tears. "I'm so sorry." Reid inhaled a deep breath, desperately trying to keep his emotions under control. "I just wanna let you know that what happened... it isn't your fault. I know you are feeling confused and hurt right now, but believe me when I say, I know what you're going through." Reid let out the breath he hadn't realised he had been holding and met Morgan's gaze. A tear running down his cheek. "And I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk." Morgan nodded at his younger colleague.

Morgan smiled softly at Reid, but was surprised to find Reid's gaze hardened.

"You know what I'm going through?" He spat out.

Morgan was taken a back and quickly found himself trying to recover ground.

"Yeah... you know why Reid. You know what I mean, man." He was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable doing this in front of Garcia. She kept her gaze down respectfully.

"No Morgan. No I don't. Tell me. Exactly how is it the same?" Morgan was speechless, he couldn't answer that. Garcia found herself glancing up, surprised at Reid's tone. "It's not is it! You were a small defenceless child, in a position where you couldn't fight for yourself. I'm a fully grown man. What's my excuse?" His voice was laced with venom. He hated himself.

Morgan furrowed his brows.

"Reid, don't talk like that. You didn't have a choice."

Reid's face twitched as various emotions were flying around his head.

"Look, thanks for trying, but I really don't need your help." Reid said simply.

"Reid-" Morgan tried but was cut off.

"Don't forget your jacket on the way out." Reid took his gaze away from Morgan and looked straight ahead.

Morgan was in slight shock, that had not gone the way he'd hoped. He knew Reid could be a hard person at times, but when he was like this, he was down right impossible. Knowing it would do neither of them any good to argue, he stood up, taking his jacket off the back of his chair.

"Right." He mumbled unsurely. He nodded to Garcia to stay, hoping she might have some more luck. "I'll see you later." He turned to Reid, hoping the young man would respond, but he didn't. His face was set hard like stone. Raising his eyebrows at Garcia, it was clear he didn't expect her to have much luck either. He walked to the door and left.

Garcia sat for a couple of minutes, waiting to see if Reid would tear his gaze away from the spot he seemed fixated on. He didn't. She looked sadly at him.

"Are you okay?" She asked carefully. He smiled a defensive smile, still not looking.

"I'm fine."

"You don't have to lie to me, Reid." Garcia smiled softly at him.

"I'm not lying." He answered quickly.

She looked at him for a few moments, contemplating her next words.

"You know, it's okay to be struggling with this."

"I'm not struggling, Garcia. I'm fine." He snapped.

"Yeah, you sound it." She snapped back, her voice softer than his. Reid huffed, like a child in a mood.

"I just want to be left alone." Reid wouldn't look at her.

"Well that's not my style. I didn't do it with Hotch, I won't do it with you." She said defiantly, with an edge of pride.

"This is nothing like Hotch." His voice was emotionless.

"No?" She asked, willing him to explain further. He finally turned to her.

"Hotch was in hospital for over a week. Hotch was stabbed, I wasn't. Hotch nearly died, I didn't. There are zero similarities." Reid reeled off the facts.

"Reid, it is totally similar!" She argued passionately. "You were still targeted by a psychopath with an obsession. You need support, same as Hotch did."

"For one thing, Garcia, his correct diagnosis as defined by the Third Edition Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders would be that of someone suffering from antisocial personality disorder, he's also a sexual sadist. Secondly, you are neither qualified nor experienced enough to accurately profile my behaviour or my needs, let alone truly judge exactly what did and did not happen to me and the event's similarities to another case. So if you are planning on telling me how I should feel and what I should do, I really recommend you gain some qualifications to do so, or just don't bother." He didn't look at her at all throughout the speech. His voice shook from time to time with frustration and reached higher pitches when he was feeling particularly stressed, but otherwise, his emotions were entirely closed off.

Garcia stared at him long and hard, deeply in shock. Water clouded her eyes slightly. Finally she found the courage to speak.

"You know what? I might not be a profiler, but I have been running a support group ever since I started this job. And I know what it looks like when someone needs help. You can't just run away from this!"

"I'm running no where." He interrupted, coldly.

"You're in denial." He said gently.

"No." He answered categorically, looking her straight in the eye, just daring her to say anything else. They stared each other down for a few moments. Penelope's gaze was searching Reid's eyes for some sort of acceptance. Finding none, she finally broke his gaze and sighed. She picked up her bag and stood to leave. When she reached the door, she turned back to face him.

"You know, Reid?" He looked. "You're right. This is _nothing _like Hotch..." She paused. "It's worse... And at some point, you've got to accept that." She smiled, almost as an after thought. Then she turned and left.

Reid was left sat staring at the wall.


	13. Chapter 13

**I am sooooooo mean :P Sorry guys but this is a little teaser of a chapter. I feel like a monster posting this after my epic updates, but I could help it. It seemed like the natural progression and I didn't want too much to happen in one chapter. So consider this a kind of Chapter 12a ;) I'm such a tease. Hope you like this little snippet, all the same!  
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**EDIT: ****After a very valid plot flaw was pointed out to me by lolyncut I have revised this chapter! It was like 2am when I wrote this chapter and I think I went a bit daft :S Totally agree, not quite sure what I was thinking as I am all for the realism. **

"How was he?" Hotch asked.

"Angry." Morgan answered. "Whatever that bastard said to him has really gotten under his skin. He doesn't trust us."

"Who can blame him?" Prentiss quickly interrupted. "If you were in his position, would you be likely to trust the people who didn't believe you?"

Morgan looked slightly irritated at this.

"What were we supposed to think Emily? The kid seemed like he was losin' it. All of us agreed."

"I'm not saying whether we were right or wrong, I'm just saying I understand where he's coming from." Prentiss answered defensively.

"She's right. Whatever we did or didn't do, the results are still the same." Hotch said, not moving his gaze from the floor.

"The truth is, we could have done something." Rossi added. Clearly frustrated.

"But he was a wreck, what were we supposed to think?" JJ asked, siding with Morgan on this one.

Rossi looked up at the pair, exasperated. He held out his hands in a gesture of frustration.

"Had it been anyone else, would we have jumped to those conclusions so quickly?" He waited for someone to answer him, but when they didn't he carried on. "Exactly... His mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, therefore he is too. I rest my case."

"Nobody said that Rossi." Morgan snapped.

"Nobody needed to." He replied simply.

"Look, man. I have had Reid's back ever since he came into this game. But the way he was behavin', that wasn't normal. Set up by someone else or not. If I was losing stuff, I wouldn't have snapped the way he did. What the hell were we supposed to think?" Morgan was obviously angry.

"You just imagine Derek, for two seconds, what it must be like having a mother who has a mental disorder. Just put yourself in that place." Rossi paused, he wasn't interrupted. "Then put yourself into Reid's shoes. His brain is his strongest, if not, his only weapon. It's damn sure the only thing that's gotten him to the FBI. And just imagine seeing that slipping away from you. Can you imagine how hard that must be, for someone with a mind as powerful as Reid's, to see that turning on you. That must be terrifying."

"And everyone around you that you trust is doing nothing." Hotch added negatively. "All we did was reinforce the illusion. I walked him straight into a trap." Hotch sat down onto a chair, head in his hands.

JJ and Morgan looked at each other, they had never seen their superior do such a thing. Aside from when he lost Haley. It was clearly a show of guilt and remorse.

"This isn't your fault Hotch." Morgan sat down next to him.

Suddenly the door to the side room opened and Garcia emerged from Reid's room. She took a deep breath, sat down and immediately started crying.

Prentiss moved straight to her side.

"Penelope, what's happened?" She put her arm around her shoulder comfortingly. The whole team now had their eyes on her.

"He was so horrible." She sobbed. "He hates me. And I don't blame him."

Prentiss squeezed her shoulder tightly, shushing her friend.

"No he doesn't hate you. He's just... got a lot to deal with right now." She rocked her colleague back and forth trying to soothe her.

"I just want to make it all go away for him." She wailed. "But I can't and I don't know what to do to help him."

"I think the best thing any of us can do right now is go home and get some rest." Hotch cut in. "We're no use to him half awake."

"I wanna stay." Morgan argued.

"No Derek. You're going to go home and get some sleep." Hotch ordered. "We will come back and check on him this afternoon. He needs a rest too."

"Then I will stay here and wait."

"No you will not and that's an order." Hotch's phone started to ring, irritated he pulled it out of his pocket, answering it more forcefully than he would normally. "Hotchner." The team watched him as his brows furrowed. "You're kidding?" He looked exasperated. "... How the hell did that happen?" Morgan kept trying to make eye contact with his boss, attempting to get to the bottom of the issue but Hotch avoided his gaze. "Right, I'll be right over." He closed his cell phone and looked to the team, his face in turmoil, clearly not wanting to share the news with them.

"Hotch, what's going on?" Morgan searched his boss' expression.

"Nothing important." He answered quickly. "JJ, will you drive Garcia home and make sure you both get some sleep?" She looked at her boss, still concerned about what had been said on the phone.

"Didn't sound like nothing important." Morgan interjected. The ladies hesitated.

"JJ, please." Hotch was ordering her to leave. She knew better than to press Hotch when he was in that kind of mood. She would ultimately regret it. Instead, she nodded. Taking Garcia by the arm, she helped her up to her feet. Her colleague was clearly exhausted.

"Come on Pen." She encouraged. "I'll stay at yours and we'll come back and see Spence later." She nodded to Hotch. Understanding that whatever was going on didn't need to involve Garcia.

"Get some rest." Hotch said to Garcia as she passed.

"Yes boss." She mumbled tiredly. The team watched as Garcia and JJ walked down the corridor towards the exit. When they turned the corner, the team brought their gazes back to each other.

"What's happened?" Prentiss asked, matter of factly.

Hotch sighed, he didn't know how much more the team could take.

"Lewis is dead." He said simply.

"What?" Morgan asked, glancing around at his other colleagues.

"As is Agent Howard." He added.

Rossi just stared in shock, understanding automatically what this meant.

"What the hell?" Morgan said in frustration, allowing his emotions to control his behaviour without realising the implications of Hotch's statement. Suddenly it sank in, and he stared at his boss. "But Lewis and Howard were with Jason." He said slowly. Hotch merely nodded, unable to look his subordinate in the eye. "He's killed them."

Hotch swallowed, dropping his gaze to the floor. He nodded again.

Prentiss was staring at Hotch with wide eyes, she was completely aghast.

"He's escaped?" As usual, she was quick to push her emotions aside.

"He had a knife." Hotch stated. "I don't know exactly what happened, but Lewis and Howard obviously thought that Reid had disarmed him. We didn't check for a weapon, neither did they." Morgan shifted uncomfortably, looking to Rossi. That was their fault. "On the way to the hospital, he slit their throats then stabbed the driver in the neck."

"Well that answers the question as to whether he is capable of killing." Rossi summarised.

"But slitting throats? That's messy. How did he manage that with two armed agents?" Prentiss shared her confusion.

"Takes out the one closest to him and then goes for the second one." Morgan suggested. Not entirely confident in his guess work.

"But surely in the time he has killed one agent, the other could have shot him." Prentiss asked again.

"Howard was found in the front of the ambulance. Only Lewis was in the back. It was clearly a blitz attack. He takes out the agent closest to him, before the agent in the front can react, he takes him out from behind. Then the driver is easy." Hotch informed them.

"Did the driver survive?" Rossi asked.

"So far. He's in surgery right now." Hotch nodded. He looked to Morgan who had just dropped himself into a chair outside Reid's door.

"You okay?" Prentiss asked.

"No." Morgan answered honestly. "We cannot tell the kid this." He said sternly.

Rossi nodded in agreement.

"There's no need. He's safe here. We have no reason to make him think otherwise." Rossi added.

"Won't he need protective guards or something?" Prentiss frowned. That was usually standard protocol.

"What? And have people watching him 24/7? Yeah, that just screams a return to normality." Rossi said sarcastically.

"Dave's right, the less Reid knows, the better. But two officers are on their way over now. They will just have to stay out of his sight." Hotch spoke.

"So what happens now?" Morgan demanded to know.

"I'm going back to the BAU for a couple of hours once they get here, just to keep a check on things."

"Then I'm coming with you." Morgan ordered.

"No Morgan, you are not." Hotch turned to him, his gaze unflinching. "You are going home and getting some rest. Now. All three of you, go."

"Come on, man!" Morgan tried to argue but was cut off by Rossi.

"Morgan." He turned to his older colleague. "You should know by now, make the most of any rest you get. I have a feeling we are going to be very busy over the next couple of days."

Morgan initially looked as though he was going to argue, but the senior profiler had a point. He was tired and if a man hunt was to be launched, then he would need all of the energy he could get.

Finally he conceded.

"Fine. But only a couple of hours." Rossi rolled his eyes.

Rossi grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the exit.

"Quickly, before he changes his mind!" The older man said jokingly.

Hotch merely smiled. His mind was clearly somewhere else.

Prentiss approached her boss, mindful of how tired he was also likely to be.

"You want some company?" She put herself forward to help him. Hotch's first instinct was to decline. "I make a mean cup of coffee." She smiled.

Hotch looked at her, perhaps Emily's company was just what he needed right now. She somehow seemed able to shake off the trials and tribulations of the job. He found himself idly wondering how long that would last for. But was thankful for it, all the same.

He turned to her, the corner of his mouth twitched slightly with the beginnings of what felt like an inappropriate smile.

"Okay." He answered. "Make it a strong one."


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay, here is a fairly fast update for you :) Hope you enjoy it. Once again, thank you so much for all of your reviews. I'm loving the support I'm getting from all of you lovely readers. This feels like a Golden Globe speech or something... I'd like to thank my Mum, my Dad, God (perhaps not)... Anyway, I digress. Thank you to in particular to CMSP for your reviews, which are always almost as long as my chapters! I love reading your reviews and it's nice to see that you dissect the story so much and pick out bits you really like and other bits you don't. I love how annoyed you are with Morgan too :P **

**Please, please keep reviewing! They make me all happy and warm inside. **

**WARNINGS: Usual warnings apply. Mentions of sexual assault, swearing, violence, etc etc. ENJOY!**

**P.S. I haven't read through this is one go. It's 20 pages long and I can't keep my eyes open for long enough. So please let me know about any issues. Ta!**

Hotch and Prentiss walked into the BAU bull pen. The atmosphere was beyond miserable. The remaining members of Lewis' team were gathered around one desk comforting each other. Prentiss looked sadly to Hotch. They both deeply sympathised with the team. They knew how they felt when Reid went missing. But to lose two members of your team by the hand of another team member must have been unbearable.

Hotch and Prentiss approached the desk.

"We're sorry to hear about Lewis and Howard. They were great guys." Prentiss nodded to the team.

They looked up, their eyes clouded with tears. Agent Pearson wiped the tears from his eyes and sniffled.

"Thanks." He looked to Hotch. "How's your agent?"

Prentiss and Hotch were touched that he would even ask.

"He's okay." Hotch answered. "Well, as okay as he's going to be."

"I can't believe all of this." Agent Newton said, completely in shock. As far as Hotch knew, she was the newest member of the team and would most likely take the situation badly. "You would think you'd be safe around your work colleagues." She continued.

"Talking of colleagues," Pearson interjected, "Strauss is in your office."

A look of disappointed frustration crossed Hotch's face. He really wasn't in the mood for this, and it was quite clear to everyone else.

"I'll get you that coffee." Prentiss said, patting her boss on the shoulder.

Exhaling moodily, Hotch approached his office and greeted the woman waiting inside.

"Morning Erin." Hotch closed the door behind him.

"Aaron, what on earth has been going on? I go away for a few days and come back to a disaster zone. There's been people evacuated from the building, one of our analysts has killed two of our agents and held a third hostage. All of your team is no where to be seen and you're all supposed to be on a rest week. This is just ridiculous."

"I don't know what I can say." Hotch responded tiredly. He rubbed his hand across his eyes.

"Well you can start by telling me how the hell this happened." Strauss confronted him angrily.

"I don't know how it happened." Hotch shrugged his shoulders and dropped into the nearest chair. "Jason Turner was obsessed with one of my agents, he kidnapped him, when we found him, Lewis and Howard took Jason to the hospital. He killed them... I really don't know what else to tell you."

Strauss stared at Hotch for a few moments, her gaze hard and unsympathetic. When Hotch brought his forehead down to rest in his hand, however, Strauss' expression softened.

"How is your agent?" She asked, clearly realising that Hotch was struggling to keep it all together.

"He's not good." Hotch shook his head. "It's going to take a long time for him to get over it."

Strauss furrowed her brows with slight concern.

"Which agent was it Aaron?" The other team, clearly out of respect for Reid had not given her any details.

"It was Dr. Reid."

Strauss dropped her gaze. She knew he had been kidnapped once before. She also knew that the team were very protective of him. Sometimes she felt it unnecessary, the young man had matured a lot over the years she had been in charge. However, it was clear that people saw him as an easy target.

"I'm sorry Aaron. Please let me know if there is anything I can do." Hotch nodded back gratefully. "Where is Dr. Reid now?" She asked seriously.

"He is in the hospital. He has two armed officers guarding his room. Jason Turner cannot go near him again. I don't think Reid would survive it." Hotch looked up at his boss.

"Is his condition so severe?" Strauss asked, feeling sorry for the team, they had been through a lot recently.

"Physically, no. He'll recover. But mentally... I'm not so sure. He trusted Jason and I don't think he'll get over this easily."

"He'll be fine I'm sure. He's stronger than he looks, even I know that."

"He was assaulted, Erin. Sexually." She grimaced. "He's going to need a lot of time off if he's going to recover. That's if he wants to return to work at all."

"I wouldn't blame him if he didn't." Strauss mumbled. "Anyway, you and your team, take the next three days off. Dr. Reid can have as long as he needs. I'll keep his job open." Hotch looked at her, surprised by her act of kindness. "What?" She said, confronting him over his stare. "I'm not heartless you know."

Hotch gave a small smile. Underneath the criticism that they often threw at each other, Hotch didn't completely dislike Strauss. He knew there was a good person in there somewhere.

"Thanks." He said.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do. Your team can work on finding Mr. Turner for the rest of the week. But once that time is up, I'm afraid you will have to get back to your usual work and this case will be passed on to local police." Hotch nodded, not overly happy about that prospect. "I now have two incomplete teams. I will take the lead of Lewis' team until we can find a replacement." She looked at Hotch for a couple of seconds. "And go home Aaron. Get some sleep." She walked around him and towards the door.

"Erin." Hotch called, suddenly turning. "Have we got any evidence back from the gym yet?"

"No. It won't be back here for a couple of hours yet. You know that." She raised her eyebrows at him. "Go to bed. That's an order." She smiled, knowing he was terrible at following commands. She then opened the door and left.

Hotch sat for a short while in silence. He couldn't even be bothered to lift his head up from the support of his hand. The events of the last 24 hours had exhausted him. He didn't know how much more he could take. He had come back to the BAU with the intention of carrying on profiling Jason and figuring out exactly what he was up to. But right now, all his mind was capable of thinking about was sleep. He sighed.

He also wanted to make sure that the crime scene investigators had recovered all of the tapes from Jason's camera. As much as he didn't want to watch them, he knew that it was the quickest and easiest way of profiling Jason. Predicting his next move would be instrumental in keeping Reid safe.

There was a soft knock at his door. He turned to see Prentiss holding a steaming cup of coffee, a small smile on her face.

"Coffee makes all things better." She moved in, handing the mug to her boss.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

She pulled up a chair and sat down opposite him.

"Strauss appeared quite supportive today." Hotch raised his eyebrows, clearly not wanting to comment for fear of saying something he shouldn't. "Take it she's off the bottle now." She said with a slight laugh. Hotch shot Prentiss a warning look. Emily quickly looked to the floor apologetically. "Sorry. This is what I do. Inappropriate jokes." She shrugged her shoulders, breathing out uncomfortably as her boss' gaze was on her.

"We've been given the rest of the week to find Jason." Hotch said simply.

"The end of the week? Seriously?" Prentiss did not sound too satisfied.

"Well technically she's two teams down. There are just too many cases." Hotch found himself defending her position for once. This situation wasn't kind to any of them.

"Oh." Prentiss looked downcast. "So what are we going to do now?"

"Sleep." Hotch turned to her. "If we want any chance of finding Jason then we are going to need our brains working at full capacity."

"But I thought you didn't want to sleep." Prentiss mentioned. "I would be happy to start profiling Jason with you if you like? See if we can figure out where he might go?"

"No. I've been ordered." Hotch said, pulling his face. A slight smile graced Prentiss' lips.

"Ah." She nodded. "Well, women know best of course."

"Had a feeling you might say that." Hotch said a hint of humour laced in his voice. "I'm going to get a couple of hours. I will meet you back here at 11am."

"No problem." Prentiss stood and walked towards the door. Then she turned to look at Hotch. "Take care." She smiled. "Don't dwell on things. We'll get him." She said confidently. Then she turned and left.

"I wish I could believe you." Hotch muttered cynically.

It was 11am and Morgan was sat in the BAU conference room. He had received a message from Hotch at 7.30am telling him to meet him in work at 11am. So far there was no sign of anyone. He sat staring through the blinds into the bull pen, observing the behaviour of those still working. The mood was clearly low. Occasionally he would see someone glance across to the conference room, clearly talking about him or one of his team.

Lewis' team had been sent home on the advice of Strauss. This relieved him slightly. The last thing they needed was a group of overly emotional, grieving colleagues muscling in on their investigation.

Morgan desperately wanted to call the officers who were safeguarding Reid, just to make sure they hadn't encountered any issues over the last few hours. But common sense told him that Hotch would have contacted him if anything had arisen. Impatience was getting the better of Morgan and he stood up, pacing around the room.

"You'll drive yourself mad doing that." Rossi entered the room, two cups of coffee in hand. How had Morgan not noticed him?

"It's better than sitting around doing nothing, Rossi." The older man handed him a cup, Morgan took it gratefully.

He took a sip of the hot liquid, wincing as he swallowed.

"Thought you could do with a strong one." Rossi smiled.

"You tryin' to kill me?" Morgan raised an eyebrow at his colleague.

"If he was you'd know about it." Prentiss remarked as she entered the room, placing her bag on the chair in front of her. JJ and Garcia followed close behind.

"Where's Hotch?" JJ asked.

"I dunno, I got a message from him saying to meet him here at 11am, but I've seen no sign of him." Morgan replied, sitting back down in his chair.

"He'll be here soon." Rossi reassured them.

"I hope Reid's okay." Garcia mused. "You know, with everything..."

"Reid will be fine, Garcia." Morgan snapped slightly. "He's safe where he is right now. A hell of a lot safer than he was with us!" They all turned to look at him, taken a back. The room went silent and Morgan instantly felt uncomfortable. He turned to look through the blinds again to see Hotch entering the bull pen. " 'Bout time." He sighed.

The others exchanged wide eyed glances. They weren't used to Morgan being moody. It just wasn't his way. He was never the passive aggressive type, if he had something to say he would normally come straight out and say it.

Hotch entered the conference room.

"Morning. Hope you all feel a bit more rested." He clearly didn't. He had dark circles around his eyes, he hadn't even bothered to dress in a suit, opting instead for a dark blue t-shirt and smart jeans. "Sit down please." He motioned to the table. His team all sat, he remained standing. "I know the last day or two has been difficult and it's hard to keep up morale, but we have been given 'til the end of the week to find Jason, then the case gets passed on to local police."

"What? You can't be serious, man!" Morgan interrupted.

"Morgan, it's non-negotiable. Strauss discussed it with me earlier today."

"She can't do that Hotch!" Morgan snapped.

"Yes she can." Hotch said slowly. "And she has."

"Jason could be anywhere, man! What if he vanishes into the woodwork?" Morgan asked, panicking.

"We won't let that happen." Hotch said simply.

"How can we stop it? We had our profile! None of us predicted that he would kill Lewis and Howard so how the hell can we expect to get it right this time?"

Hotch looked to Rossi then cleared his throat. It was clear they knew something the others didn't. Prentiss' eyes opened wide as she glanced between the pair.

"What?... What is it?"

Hotch took a deep breath, exhaling it quickly and Rossi rubbed his beard uncomfortably.

"Tell us." JJ said, now looking concerned.

"After Reid was rescued, we found something." Rossi started. The team stared at him hard, hating how he was drawing it out.

"What?... What was it, Rossi?" Morgan leaned in, extremely frustrated.

"A camera." Hotch's voice broke slightly as he said it.

The team stared at him, horrified.

"A camera?" Garcia's mouth was wide open in shock.

"It was in the corner of the room, disguised by a wall panel." Hotch said.

"In that light, Reid never would have seen it." Rossi added.

"Oh my god," JJ rubbed her hand down her face.

"So you're tellin' me, that not only did that bastard... _rape_ Reid" They all flinched. "... you're sayin' he fuckin' taped it too?"

"I don't know." Hotch said matter of factly. "But whatever is on that tape will help us to build a solid profile." He was trying to take the positives out of the situation.

"You're going to watch it?" Garcia said with a gasp.

"Unless you have any better ideas." Rossi questioned.

Agent Anderson suddenly entered the room. He was carrying a large box.

"Excuse me sir." He spoke to Hotch. "You asked for these. They were found behind the false wall in the building."

"Thank you." Hotch nodded to his subordinate.

They all stared at the box on the table. Knowing that once they opened it, there was no going back.

"Are you sure about this Hotch?" Morgan asked, fear in his eyes.

Hotch looked at him for a couple of moments, tempted to back away. But then he thought about Reid, lying in a hospital bed and how vulnerable he was at that very moment. Suddenly he found his hands moving towards the box's lid and removing it. Morgan sighed, running a hand down his face.

His brows furrowed as he looked in. The other team members stood to get a better vantage point.

"Oh my god, how many are there?" Garcia was aghast.

"They all have Reid's name on them." Rossi picked up two tapes to use as an example. "This explains something." He showed the tapes to JJ. They had two large white stickers running down the side and in big black capital letters was the name 'SPENCE'

She shook her head angrily. Her term of endearment had now been forever tainted. Jason really didn't realise how much he'd taken.

"What are all of these?" Prentiss questioned. She had a stack of five tapes in front of her. "He can't have recorded all of these within the 14 hours."

"This doesn't make sense." Something had been bugging Morgan about this since Hotch mentioned it. "We profiled that he would be expecting us, waiting for the showdown, right?"

"Yeah." Rossi urged him to continue.

"So if he knew we were going to turn up at some point, why did he leave us all of this evidence to convict him with?"

"Yeah, Morgan's right." JJ agreed. "Why would he set himself up like that?"

"Well he clearly wasn't ready for us. Like we said before, he hadn't had the time to get Reid completely under his control. We caught him off guard. Maybe removing the tapes was something he planned to do but didn't get round to." Prentiss suggested.

"Yeah, but why keep them there at all? I mean, this is a hell of a lot of tapes to leave lying around." Morgan emphasised his point by lifting a pile out of the box and placing them on the table.

"He wanted us to find them." Hotch realised. The team were also quickly coming to the same conclusion. "He knew he wouldn't get away with attacking a federal agent. This is all part of his sick game of revenge. He wants us to watch these tapes, to show us what he did."

"Then it becomes doubly important that Reid never finds out about them. Jason's clever, he knows the effect that would have on Reid." Rossi stated.

"And it's doubly important that we don't watch them!" Morgan banged his hand on the table.

"Morgan, if we had any other choice-" Hotch was interrupted.

"No Hotch, don't give me that! There is always another choice." Morgan was deeply frustrated right now.

"Like what, Morgan?" Hotch threw his arms out in a desperate gesture. This whole situation was exhausting.

"Let me talk to him. See if there is any information I can get. The kid's a profiler. If anybody will have an accurate profile of Jason, then it's Reid." Hotch didn't look convinced.

"No Morgan, I can't let you do that." Hotch said sternly.

"Reid will know something is wrong. As far as he knows, Jason is in custody." Rossi agreed.

"And that's what I'll tell him. I'm presuming he doesn't know about the camera. So he'll assume at some point he will have to give a statement about what happened. Let me take his statement."

"I don't know." Hotch sounded sceptical.

"What have we got to lose, Hotch? Come on, man! Reid would never want you watching those tapes. Whether he knows or not... I just feel like we're betrayin' him."

"Yeah, Morgan's right." JJ interjected. "Reid's such a private person. I at least think we should try talking to him before we resort to watching those tapes."

Hotch furrowed his brows. He was so tempted to crack open the tapes, knowing that what was on them would be a profiler's dream come true, it would save Reid any discomfort and would have them well on their way to having a complete and accurate profile. However, what they would have to endure to gain that information would be unbearable. He knew Morgan was right but he couldn't help thinking that saving time was their main priority right now.

"Okay, you have two hours. If you haven't got him talking by then, we will have to watch the tapes."

Morgan nodded in understanding, very satisfied with the reprieve. All he had to do now was gain Reid's trust. Which would be easier said than done.

* * *

><p>"Agent Morgan. How can I help you?" Dr. Marston greeted him kindly.<p>

"I'm just wondering how he's been since we left this morning." Morgan glanced over to Reid's side room where he was seemingly asleep. Two officers standing outside, either side of the door frame.

"He's been very quiet. Which is understandable. He's been to sleep a couple of times, but he's woken up both times through bad dreams. He finally got off to sleep properly about an hour ago and he's barely moved since."

"Have you been able to keep the officers a secret?"

"Yes of course." Dr. Marston smiled. Then her pager bleeped. "I'm really sorry, I have to go. But feel free to go and see him. If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to contact my secretary, Julie." She handed him a card.

"Thanks." Morgan nodded.

The doctor promptly left the ward and Morgan began approaching Reid's room.

He walked through the doorway and closed it behind him. Reid's eyes opened slightly when he heard the door click.

"Hey kid." Morgan said gently, moving towards Reid and sitting on the chair closest to him.

Reid blinked away the tiredness and let out a yawn. He then looked to Morgan sheepishly.

"Hey." He answered quietly. Not maintaining eye contact.

"How you feeling?" Morgan asked softly. Reid simply nodded to say he was doing okay. "You look tired, kid. The doctor tells me you've been having some bad dreams."

"Nothing I can't handle." Reid brushed off Morgan's concern, clearly uncomfortable with Morgan knowing.

"You know..." Morgan shuffled closer to Reid. "I used to have bad dreams all the time. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed." Reid retorted again, trying to look nonchalant.

Morgan sighed. This was going to be difficult.

Suddenly a man entered the room in a nurse's uniform and gave a loud knock on the door. Morgan jumped at the sound.

"Come to take some blood." He said simply. He wasn't particularly friendly.

The man pushed a trolley around the bed, it had various colour coded bottles and syringes.

Reid simply nodded. Morgan noticed his eyes gave away his nervousness as the man moved quickly towards him. To anyone else, they probably wouldn't notice. But Morgan knew Reid well. Probably more than either of them actually realised.

"Well?" The male nurse said. Reid looked up at him, brows furrowed. "I need an arm." He said sharply.

Reid suddenly went red as he realised that he hadn't given the man access to his arm. His mind had clearly been elsewhere.

"Sorry." He said with an embarrassed smile, straightening out his arm for the test. The nurse didn't respond, simply applying the tourniquet to his patient's arm.

"Squeeze your hand tight." He ordered, then went to finding a vein with the needle. "Relax your hand. That's it." Once he had filled all of the sample bottles, he stopped the bleeding with a piece of cotton wool. Took his trolley and simply walked out of the room.

"You're welcome." Reid said dryly. Morgan grinned at him.

"He was nice." Morgan retorted sarcastically. Reid simply raised his eyebrows. "Do you get on with the staff?"

"Does it matter?" Reid looked at Morgan like he was stupid.

"Just makin' conversation." Morgan defended himself, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. Reid felt a bit guilty.

"Yeah, they're nice enough." He shrugged his shoulders.

"He's not your nurse is he?" Morgan looked after the man who had taken the blood.

"Must be." Reid shrugged his shoulders again. "They don't talk much."

"I can see." Morgan glanced over his shoulder again. An uncomfortable silence took over the pair and Morgan found himself trying to fill it. "So, have they said when you'll be getting out of here?"

"You know as much as I do... Probably more." Reid said with a smile, it didn't reach his eyes.

"Well that's a first." Morgan grinned. Reid didn't.

Again a silence overtook the pair and Reid found himself feeling slightly frustrated.

"Morgan, why are you here?" Reid's gaze was firmly locked with Morgan's. When he was irritated seemed to be the only time he could actually look people in the eye. Morgan was completely taken a back. He found himself stuttering.

"Wh- What do you mean? Why am I here?" Morgan tried to laugh it off as if it was a stupid question.

"I mean what I said – why are you here?" Reid's eyes were cold and unfeeling.

Morgan found himself feeling more upset by this than he would have expected.

"Because I wanna make sure you're okay, kid." He said firmly.

"Bit late." Reid retorted under his breath. Morgan shot Reid a warning look.

"I know you're angry, Reid. I get that. But you can't keep doing this to us. You're gonna push everyone away."

"Who exactly am I pushing away, Morgan?" Reid said, getting very tense. His speech had speeded up rapidly.

"Us, Reid, your colleagues... your friends!" Morgan desperately tried to get through to him.

"What? Friends who, when push came to shove, were quicker to believe that I was going crazy than they were to think that something else might have been going on." Reid spat out.

"What were we supposed to think Reid? You didn't suspect him either until the whole Bennington thing! And even then you still let him into your apartment!"

"Oh what? So this is _my_ fault now?" Reid was seriously raising his voice. Morgan glanced over his shoulder to the open door, standing up quickly, he closed it and sat back down, leaning into Reid with a half whisper.

"No, Reid! I _never_ said that."

"You didn't need to." Reid spat back.

"Yeah, you're right. I don't need to, 'cause that isn't what I think. He's got in your head, kid!"

"Don't tell me what he has and hasn't done! You know nothing!" Reid shouted angrily, his chest rising and falling quickly as he regained his breath.

Morgan stared him straight in the eyes. He couldn't believe this was Reid shouting at him. Even after Tobias he had never lost his temper with him. He knew that Emily had taken the brunt of it, but even then, Morgan didn't think Reid had quite been like this, even through his withdrawal.

Morgan kept staring at Reid until he looked away. Even when he was in a mood like this, he was still submissive.

"Well why don't you tell me, Reid. What has he done?" Morgan said calmly but firmly. Reid's brows furrowed and he shook his head. "What did he do, Reid?" Morgan kept pushing. Reid gritted his teeth, nausea rising through his body. "You tell me, because apparently I don't know. What. Did. He. Do?"

Reid squeezed his eyes tightly shut, Morgan finally getting the better of him.

"He raped me! Okay?" And then his voice broke. "He raped me." He repeated, no more than a whisper.

Morgan exhaled and leaned forward, nodding.

"I know, kid." He felt awful pushing him like that, but Reid couldn't remain in a state of denial, it was doing him no good. He needed a way in, and pushing Reid to this admission, Morgan felt, was a break through. He put his hand on Reid's back. Morgan was thankful that Reid didn't tense up at this. "I know." He said in a comforting voice.

Reid was covering his face with shaking hands but he still didn't cry. After a minute, he started to pull himself back together.

"I'm sorry." He said, wiping his tired eyes. His colleague looked at him sympathetically.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Morgan asked carefully.

"I don't know." Reid said, equally as careful. "I don't know what to think, or do, or say! I'm lost Morgan." He sighed, knowing that because of the way his mind works, it was going to make getting over this even harder.

"Well, why don't you start from the beginning?" Morgan prompted. "He came round to your apartment..." He started the sentence for Reid to finish. Reid shook his head, unsure about what to do. He didn't think he could do this. Noticing Reid's reluctance, Morgan tried to encourage him. "He knocked on the door, you answered. Right?" Reid nodded. A nod was better than nothing, at least. "You both had a drink? What were you drinking?" Morgan continued.

"Whisky." Reid ground out with a raspy voice.

"Okay, good. Where were you both sat?" Morgan continued pressing him with questions.

"On the couch." Reid nodded.

"Was there anything unusual about his behaviour?"

Reid furrowed his brows.

"He kept making me drink faster. Like, literally pushing the glass to my mouth... He kept telling me to relax." He sighed deeply. "I thought he was trying to help me." His voice broke slightly.

Morgan looked sadly at his younger colleague. Reid really didn't deserve all of this guilt.

"What happened next?"

Reid shifted uncomfortably in his bed, trying to remember the event. It seemed like a lifetime ago now.

"He shoved my glass up to my mouth... it caught me off guard and some of it went down my sweater. So he went and got a towel... That must have been when he got the knife."

"The knife was yours?" Morgan asked, surprised.

"Yeah." Reid gave an ironic smile.

"Okay, so what did he do when he'd got the knife?"

"He just kept pushing me to drink." Reid looked embarrassed. "I was starting to feel intoxicated... I'm not much of a drinker."

"I know." Morgan nodded.

"But... um... the first spillage I cleaned up. Then the glass slipped in my hand and I spilled some more." Reid closed his eyes. "He took the towel and started patting at the stain." Reid rolled his eyes, clearly wondering how he could have been so stupid.

"Reid," Morgan interrupted softly. "He's very clever. He gave you the drink so you would let that happen. It's not your fault."

"Yeah well I played right into his hands didn't I?" Reid snapped, clearly angry with himself. "I'm supposed to be a genius. That was just plain stupid."

"Reid, stay with me." Morgan locked gazes with Reid and nodded. "He cleaned you up... and then what?"

Reid thought about Jason patting on his chest with the towel, then the movement stopped. He thought about how Jason was staring at him, and how he suddenly leapt towards him with his lips. He thought about how he'd shoved him off but then found himself pressed into the corner of the couch unable to shift the bigger man's weight.

Suddenly Reid's heart started pounding and the colour drained out of his face. Morgan leaned towards him. "Reid? You okay?" Reid didn't respond, he was clearly stuck in a flashback. "Reid? Talk to me!" Morgan took his hand and held it, Reid's grip suddenly tightened around his.

Reid's eyes were lost somewhere far away and Morgan dreaded to think what they were seeing at that moment.

"No." Reid whispered.

"Reid, it's Morgan. You're safe, kid." He squeezed Reid's hand. "Reid." He tugged on his shoulder. "Reid, focus on my hand, I'm here with you man. Come on."

Reid's breathing was getting erratic now and the grip on Morgan's hand was almost bruising.

_Jason pressed Reid into the mattress, kissing the side of his face. His hands were exploring every inch of Reid's body. Leather straps were tightened around his hands, completely restricting the movement of his arms._

"Reid." Morgan kept calling his name.

_Another strap was around his midsection. He couldn't move his body away from Jason. He wanted to scream. Then his legs were being strapped. Jason was on top of him again._

"No, no, no..." Reid squeezed his eyes shut. "Please, stop." Reid kept whispering.

Desperate tears were starting to well up in Morgan's eyes. He looked to the nurse call button on the wall and pressed it.

_Jason pressed into Reid, a hand tightly around his face keeping him from crying out. The pain was unbearable._

Sweat was now pouring down Reid's face. His hair was sticking lightly to his forehead. A nurse still hadn't come.

"Where the hell are you?" Morgan shouted, making a point. Suddenly, the armed police came rushing into the room, followed by a nurse.

"What's going on?" A female nurse asked, rushing towards the other side of Reid's bed.

"I think it's a flashback." Morgan answered quickly. "What the hell should I do?"

The nurse looked at the horrified expression on Reid's face and then to Morgan, who was staring at her, desperately searching for some professional help.

"Let me get a doctor." The nurse replied and shot out of the room. It was clear, she had no idea what to do either.

Tears were now running down Reid's face, the two armed police men were looking at him with shocked expressions.

Suddenly, Reid held his breath and his eyes refocused. Almost as if someone had taken him out of hypnosis. He instinctively went to fight against Morgan's supportive hands in a panic.

"Get off me! Get off!"

Morgan stood up, grabbing Reid's hand again, trying to get him to calm down.

"Reid, Reid! It's me. It's Morgan, it's alright!"

Reid's fight suddenly deserted him and he found his distraught eyes staring up at his close friend's. Then he finally broke down.

Morgan pulled Reid's head into a hug and his younger colleague cried into him. Completely distressed. Morgan felt his eyes watering up. He nodded to the two armed police officers to leave the room, they closed the door behind them.

Morgan patted Reid's head, soothingly. The young agent relaxed into the comforting gesture, but Morgan then felt him tense. Reid's hands then came up and started pushing him away.

"Please Morgan, just go." He said sniffling. Morgan being there at his most vulnerable moment was just too much for him. He gently pushed the older man away from him and turned his face away, covering his eyes with his hand.

Morgan let himself be pushed back. He was so confused. He moved to put his hand on Reid's shoulder.

"Reid, please." Morgan only wanted to help.

Reid shrugged the older man's hand off his shoulder, turning round violently.

"Just go, Morgan!" He shouted, this time his tear filled eyes stared right at Morgan, the older agent stared right back in shock.

They were both silent for a few seconds, locked in a battle of wills.

Suddenly the door opened and Dr. Marston walked in, Morgan and Reid broke their stand off to look at her. She noticed the tension in the room straight away.

"Everything alright in here?"

Morgan quickly turned his back to her and wiped a tear away from his eye, then turned back.

"Yeah. Fine... I'm gonna go." He gestured uncomfortably to the door.

Dr. Marston watched the pair carefully. They didn't even look at each other.

Morgan nodded to the doctor, then tried a glance towards Reid.

"Bye, kid." When Reid didn't look up, or answer. Morgan dropped his gaze to the floor, manoeuvred his way around the doctor and left.

Dr. Marston stared at her patient for a couple of moments then moved towards his bedside.

"You okay?" She sat down next to him. Reid wiped the stray tears away from his eyes.

"I really wish people would stop asking me that." Reid was looking straight ahead, he didn't give the doctor any eye contact either.

The doctor remained quiet for a few moments until Reid's discomfort got the better of him and he turned to look at her.

"Spencer-"

"Reid." He quickly corrected her.

"Sorry... Reid... do you feel that talking to someone... professional... might help you deal with this?"

Reid looked offended.

"Why?"

"I just thought maybe if you could talk to someone who doesn't know you personally, then maybe you could speak more openly about what you went through." Dr. Marston spoken calmly and rationally.

"What? So they can tell me I'm crazy?" Reid furrowed his brows.

"No, not at all." Dr. Marston almost laughed.

"What's so funny?" Reid picked up on it straight away.

"I'm sorry.. nothing. It's just that's not how it works."

"I know how it works." Reid said simply, cutting her off.

She looked at him for a couple of moments. Then she sighed and stood up.

"Get some rest. I will talk to you about this another day."

Then she moved to the door and left. Reid stared after her for a short while, suddenly feeling incredibly alone. He then took a deep breath and closed his eyes begging for tiredness to overtake him.

* * *

><p>Morgan walked back into the BAU offices. He looked exhausted. He was frowning deeply and his eyes appeared quite bloodshot. He glanced across the bull pen to the conference room where the rest of the team were still sat. They had noticed his arrival and were watching him eagerly.<p>

He made his way across the bull pen with his head down, trying not to draw attention to himself, but this was near impossible. At this point, the whole team were the talk of the office. The room suddenly went very quiet and he could hear the odd whisper from different areas of the room.

He felt highly irritated at this. He had an overwhelming urge to just tell them all to 'fuck off', but he thought better of it. He knew that wouldn't help matters and would only serve to draw further attention to himself. So he kept walking, knowing that they would be old news in a week or so.

He finally reached the door of the conference room, pushed it open and closed it behind him. Hotch was stood, awaiting his arrival. Morgan sighed as he entered the room.

"So, how did it go?" Hotch asked.

Morgan just shook his head.

"What happened?" JJ asked, the concern clearly in her eyes.

Morgan sat down, all energy leaving his body. The team noticed he had been crying.

"He can't do it." Morgan looked to Hotch. "We're gonna have to watch the tapes."

"Derek, what happened?" Hotch asked firmly.

"He had a flashback and broke down. He didn't even want me near him. He hates me for letting him down." Morgan put his head in his hands.

"I'm sure that's not true." Prentiss reassured him.

"Oh it's true, Emily. He's seriously pissed at all of us. He blames us for what happened."

The team all exchanged glances.

"He'll come round." Rossi interjected. "He's got to come to terms with it first."

"Yeah, well how's he gonna do that if he can't even talk about it?" Morgan snapped.

"He has no choice." Rossi stated simply. He didn't want a debate on this. He was seriously worried about Reid's mental state, but right now, he was concerned with preventing any further harm to his young colleague. This meant finding Jason.

Hotch turned to the team.

"I understand if none of you want to watch this, but you need to understand why I am."

"Hotch, we know." Prentiss interrupted. He really had no need to explain himself. He looked to JJ and Garcia, they both nodded in understanding. The profile was so important and if there was anything they could find in these tapes to help them pinpoint Jason's next move, then it had to be done.

"Okay." He moved to the box in the centre of the table and pulled out the first of the tapes labelled 'SPENCE: ******' Inserting it into the player. The tape started. It showed the bed near one corner of the room and Jason sat on a chair in the other corner.

Reid was lay unmoving on the bed. He was flat on his back, one arm sprawled out at his side, the other was bent up by his head. His right leg was chained to the corner bed post. Jason was just sat staring intensely at Reid.

The team watched Jason watching Reid for a good five minutes. Nothing was happening.

"Fast forward." Rossi nodded to Hotch.

Hotch grabbed the remote and pressed 'fast forward'. The tape sped up, but still Jason didn't move. He was still sat in that exact same position, watching Reid;.

"Wow." Prentiss commented. "Fifteen minutes of tape and he's not even moved. That's some obsession."

"He must have hit Reid's head pretty damn hard." Rossi added.

"Or he sedated him." Hotch suggested.

"He's moving." Rossi said quickly, leaning forwards. "Press play."

Hotch pressed the 'play' button as soon as Reid started moving.

Reid moaned and rolled over onto his side slightly. The team noticed him freeze as he realised he wasn't at home. His gaze shot over to Jason who had just stood up and moved towards the bed. The team could tell Reid was nervous. He went to sit up, wincing as he did so and Jason quickly moved in behind him.

Garcia instinctively grabbed onto Morgan's hand.

"_Easy, easy."_ They heard Jason say, kindly. As he moved himself behind Reid. "I didn't want to hit you, but you were calling that bastard, Morgan. He would have taken you away from me." Everyone quickly stole a glance at Morgan who looked devastated.

"So that call was Reid... I thought it was Jason taunting us." Garcia squeezed his hand.

The team watched through sickened eyes as Reid realised he was chained and was closer to Jason by two arms secured around his body. He looked terrified.

Hotch and Rossi exchanged disgusted glances when Jason started nuzzling Reid's neck as Reid desperately tried to distract him with various questions. Reid tried to pull himself away and Jason kept commanding him to stay still and relax.

"How the fuck is he supposed to relax?" Morgan snapped at the TV screen.

"_I'm sorry, this is all just happening very quickly." _They heard Reid say.

"Well done." Commented Rossi, impressed that he was keeping his head and playing along.

Jason then leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. The team all flinched, JJ and Garcia looked away.

"I can't watch this, Garcia said quickly, standing up and blocking her vision with her hand. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

"It's fine Garcia." Hotch reassured her. "Just keep doing some searches on Jason. See if there is anything that has been missed."

"Yes sir." Garcia then quickly left the room.

When Hotch turned back, Reid's face was turned to Jason's and he was locked in another kiss, this time on his lips.

"What did Jason say then?" Hotch asked, realising he had missed something.

Morgan was turned away from the screen slightly, he looked sickened.

"Open your eyes, I wanna see your eyes." Morgan repeated Jason's words. Hotch didn't respond.

They watched Jason move away from Reid and produce a bottle of whisky from underneath his chair. He poured a glass and tried to convince Reid to drink it.

"Don't drink it, Reid." Hotch muttered, as if the video was happening in real time.

"He's trying to make him lose his senses." Rossi commented.

"_Drink it". _They watched Jason force the glass into Reid's hand.

Their hearts broke as Reid stared up at Jason with large pleading eyes and spoke.

_"Please, Jay. Don't do this to me." _ Then they watched him smile.

"He's trying to get him on side." Prentiss pointed out.

_I'm doing you a favour, Spence."_ Jason stroked Reid's face. _"I don't want you to hate me, it'll make things easier to start with. Trust me." _

"Oh god." Morgan ran a hand over his head. "Why doesn't he just drink it?"

"You know why Morgan." Hotch said plainly.

"He called him Spence." JJ said quietly in saddened shock.

They watched in anticipation as Reid placed the glass of whisky down on the floor and Jason approached him. Suddenly Jason picked up the glass and smashed Reid across the face with it.

"Oh my god!" JJ shouted, her hands coming up to her mouth. Everyone in the room winced at that very moment. Blood poured down Reid's face as he clutched at it with his hands and Jason kept throwing pieces of glass at him. Jason was blaming Reid for angering him.

"_I'm sorry!" _They heard Reid shout desperately.

"You got nothin' to be sorry for, kid." Morgan spoke to the Reid on screen, whose hands were now shaking violently.

Suddenly, Jason was on his knees apologising, grabbing onto Reid's hands. He comforted the young agent as he cried.

"Get your hands off him, you sick bastard." Morgan ground out through his teeth.

"_You've never been this close to a man before, have you?" _Jason's hands were massaging Reid's back.

"Oh no." JJ said suddenly. "I don't know if I can watch this."

Hotch would have told her to leave, but he was too focused on the video right now. His heart was pounding. He was so nervous for his youngest team member.

They watched as Reid's hand came up as a barrier and were quickly snapped down to his sides by Jason's lethal grip. They watched Reid's futile attempts to get away from Jason's kissing.

Then they heard something that sickened them all.

"_Oh god, the things you do to me. You're pure filth." _As Reid was pushed down onto the bed and Jason got on top of him.

Hotch closed his eyes. He couldn't imagine anyone calling Reid pure filth. It was sickening that someone would view him like that. As an object. He was too innocent for that.

JJ suddenly stood up.

"I can't do this." She spoke quietly, clearly upset. She walked straight out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Reid was now begging Jason to leave him alone as he struggled to keep the man off him. Jason pulled Reid up the bed by his collar and Reid in response started hitting out. Jason then head butted him and Reid's arm feel limp. Again, the team winced. Morgan's chest rose and fell at a rapid rate as his breathing sped up. He really felt for Reid right now.

They watched as Jason chained Reid's left arm to the bed and Reid's complete panic as he came back to his senses and realised that he was stuck. He started begging again. Hotch's hand came up to his mouth, his face was set in a deep frown.

"God just leave him alone, you sick fuck." Morgan was talking to the TV again.

"_Oh god." _Jason moaned, the arousal clear in his voice. Rossi turned away, sickened.

Eventually they all turned away as Jason's hand ran up under Reid's shirt and then he leaned over into a deep kiss. Reid was still fighting against him.

"_It's not use fighting, Spence." _That was clearly heard over the tape, but then he leaned down and whispered something into Reid's ear. It was barely audible and most of the team missed it.

"What did he say?" Rossi asked no one in particular.

"We're meant to be together. You'll see that." Prentiss responded. Her face paler than usual.

Morgan almost laughed when Jason climbed off Reid and told him he would get him something to eat. Hotch understood where he was coming from.

"He does all that to him and then makes sure he has enough to eat." Hotch said thoughtfully.

They watched as Jason closed the door behind him and Reid let out his frustrations into the mattress and pulled desperately at his restraints. Then he broke down into tears.

Emily found herself wiping a tear away from her eye for a moment too. Hotch paused the video once Reid had settled down a little.

The team sat in shocked silence for a minute or so until Rossi started shaking his head.

"That Jason really is a piece of work." Rossi commented.

"He's a fuckin' bastard." Morgan corrected him. "And when we bring him in, he's gonna wish he'd never bee n born."

"Okay Morgan, let's keep the revenge plans for later please." Hotch shot him a warning look.

"That was worse than I expected." Prentiss said, running a hand over her face.

"What did you expect?" Rossi looked, slightly bemused.

"I don't know. I suppose I didn't think there would be any sound."

"He looked so scared." Morgan said, gutted that he couldn't help his younger colleague.

Hotch simply turned away. Tears were welling up in his eyes.

"Take ten." He said. "We'll fast forward to then next bit then."

Prentiss dropped her forehead to the table. Rossi just rested his head on his hand. He cared for Reid, a lot more than people would probably give him credit for.

Morgan was just sat brooding in his chair. Rossi couldn't help but wonder how suitable it was for Morgan to watching these tapes. Reid was a sensitive subject with Morgan. He treated him like a little brother. And if someone was doing that to his brother, he knew he couldn't be held responsible for his actions.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, he patted Morgan on the shoulder and gestured for him to follow.

"Coffee." He said simply. Morgan understood his meaning and went with Rossi to the coffee pot.

Prentiss stared hard at Hotch's back.

"You okay?" She said softly.

Hotch nodded.

"I've never seen anything like that before." Prentiss added. Hotch eventually turned around and began fast forwarding, stopping every time Reid moved. An hour of tape later, there was still no movement from Jason and the tape was coming to an end.

Rossi entered with Morgan in tow.

"Coffee for all. Strong and full of sugar." Rossi announced

"It's going to be a long day." Hotch sighed, taking a sip of his hot coffee. He grabbed the second tape and pushed it into the video player. When the tape was just showing Reid still restrained on the bed, Hotch muttered again. "A very long day."


	15. Chapter 15

**Apologies for the delays with the upload! I have had so many scripts to write for work this week, whilst also working on this War and Peace-esque chapter! Then had some uploading issues! This was supposed to be on last night. Anyway, thank you so much for all of your reviews as usual! My particular favourite was 'why are you not on the CM writing team?' :D I cannot express how childishly happy that made me. Please keep reviewing, can't wait for my 100th review :) This is a long chapter, but I can't help feeling it's not moving very far so I hope you don't find it boring! The rollercoaster hasn't finished yet anyway, so future chapters will certainly be more eventful! Enjoy!  
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Hotch, Rossi, Morgan and Prentiss sat at the table, sipping on their hot coffees. They didn't really know what to say to each other. Each of them were lost in their own thoughts about how much they didn't want to watch the next tape. What they had seen already was bad enough. As much as it made them feel awful to admit it, watching someone they knew in those videos was ten times worse than watching some unknown victim. Everything Reid went through, they could imagine exactly what he was feeling. They knew him, and how he would react. And that made everything harder.

"You know it's gonna get a lot worse than that." Morgan warned.

No one answered. He didn't need to tell his colleagues that.

Hotch simply tipped his coffee mug up as he finished the rest of the stimulating drink and reached for the remote control.

"You don't have to stay Morgan." He advised.

Morgan shot Hotch a look. No words were needed. He was staying. As long as Hotch was staying, he was.

Both Prentiss and Rossi finished their coffees before the second tape was started. It somehow didn't feel right to be doing something so normal as drinking coffee whilst watching something so abnormal.

"Ready?" Hotch said to the team.

"No." Said Rossi. But Hotch understood his meaning. No amount of preparation could ever get someone ready to watch something so horrific.

Hotch nodded, then pressed play on the remote control. The tape kicked into action. Reid was still lay on the bed, stretched out between the two bedposts. But his breathing had calmed down significantly. They watched him staring around the room. For a second, they thought he made eye contact with the camera, but his gaze quickly turned away from it.

"He didn't know he was being filmed." Hotch commented.

After a silent ten minutes of footage, Hotch finally decided to 'fast forward' the tape. A good fifteen minutes later, Jason was finally seen emerging through the door.

"He's back." Prentiss said strongly. Encouraging Hotch to press play again.

_"I've made your favourite. Ravioli."_

"How thoughtful." Rossi commented in cold sarcasm.

They watched as Reid made the agreement to behave himself in order to have his wrist freed so he would be given the privilege of eating his dinner with some self-respect. They also noticed how Reid looked to the floor at something. They couldn't see what, as it was blocked by Jason's positioning, but whatever it was, Reid didn't look happy.

They continued watching Reid uncomfortably eating his dinner under the scrutiny of Jason.

_"You need to keep your strength up." _Jason said, licking his lips.

Morgan shuddered. They watched how Reid was put off his meal by the innuendo laden remark. They also watched how Jason sat for ten minutes staring at Reid after his meal, allowing Reid to feel tired enough to drift off slightly into sleep.

Jason then went to stand up and moved towards their young colleague, prodding him awake with his finger.

_"Spence, wake up."_

They watched Reid come around with a start. Jason spoke to him, telling him that he had done something nice for Reid, so he needed something nice from him in return.

Morgan started shaking his head.

Jason quickly overpowered Reid and rolled him onto his front, straddling him.

"Oh god no." Morgan breathed out, covering his eyes with his hand. "What's he doing?" He asked, wanting to know but completely unable to look.

"He's handcuffing him." Emily said bravely.

Morgan suddenly heard Reid's frantically panicked voice.

_"Oh god, no, please. Please Jason. Please!"_

"What the fuck is he doing?" Morgan asked angrily, still refusing to look.

This time, no one answered.

_"Oh calm down."_ They heard Jason say. Hotch shook his head. Reid was not weak. If he wasn't calm then there was a good reason, and Jason was it. To tell him to calm down in that patronising manner, that really pissed Hotch off.

Morgan finally opened his eyes to see Reid's belt being pulled free from his trousers and being tightened around his neck.

_"Come on" _Jason said, pulling on the belt. As if he was talking to a dog.

Reid unsteadily brought himself to his feet, following the pull of the belt around his neck.

"He's got him like an animal." Rossi remarked, venom in his voice.

Jason stood directly in front of him.

_"Get on your knees."_

They watched as understanding dawned on the young profilers face and his panic set in again. Prentiss turned away from the screen as Jason tightened the belt and kicked the back of his weakened knee hard, sending him to the floor. When he reached for his zipper the rest of the group found themselves feeling incredibly uncomfortable, they half watched and half glanced away out of respect for their colleague.

_"Please Jason, don't do this."_ Morgan shook his head, Reid should never have been in this position. He really felt for his younger colleague, who was clearly distraught.

They all turned back to the screen as they heard Reid trying to attack Jason. He clumsily dived towards the man, trying to knock him out of the way, but Jason easily dodged it allowing Reid to fall forward, catching him by the belt wrapped around his throat.

Reid was now coughing, catching his breath.

"Ouch." Rossi commented, wincing as he did so.

_"Don't fight me, Spence. It'll do you no good." _Jason spoke in a sickeningly soft voice. Almost caring.

"What the hell is he supposed to do, you sick fuck?" Morgan was looking irate again. They all knew what was coming.

Jason pulled Reid away from the bed like he was some sort of doll. Then he took out a piece of black cloth and wrapped it around Reid's eyes.

"Oh god." Morgan gasped, dropping his head into his hands.

Reid's struggling began afresh, still coughing.

_"__Jason! No!"_

_"Spencer, yes."_ Jason smiled then moved away from his prisoner.

"He's mocking him." Rossi pointed out angrily. He watched as Jason stood completely still, staring as Reid shook slightly, unsure of his surroundings.

"This is clearly a power thing." Observed Prentiss. Noting how excited Jason was getting as Reid shook before him.

_"__Jason?"... "Jason?"_ Reid called out into the unknown. They winced as Jason's hand went to his crotch. He was obviously completely aroused by the sight in front of him. He then starting walking around Reid, allowing him to hear his footsteps. _"Jason – what are you doing?" _

"I can't believe he's staying so calm." Morgan commented.

"He has no choice." Rossi replied.

They watched as Jason removed his belt and pulled down his trousers, . They turned away as his erection sprang forward, towards Reid's face. They quickly turned back when they heard a loud slap. It completely caught Reid by surprise and then Jason grabbed his head and pushed himself into Reid's mouth, pulling a knife out and placing it against his neck.

"Oh my god!" Prentiss exclaimed. Turning completely away from the television.

"Hotch, we can't watch this, man." Morgan said, covering his eyes.

_"Oh god, Spence. Oh god."_ Jason's moaning could be heard over the sound of Reid's upset breathing and sickened gagging.

Hotch chanced a glance at the screen and wished he hadn't. He couldn't imagine how helpless Reid felt at that moment. It devastated him to know that his innocent young colleague had been made to feel so much like an object.

Hotch quickly picked up the remote and pressed 'fast forward'.

"Thank god." Morgan opened his eyes. Reid was still on the screen with Jason but they were moving much faster and it somehow made it slightly easier to watch. When Jason finally released the grip on Reid's head, Hotch pressed play.

Reid just sat there, the blindfold still covered his eyes. He was obviously in shock, trying to deal with what had just happened to him. Jason was tidying himself up. He then moved towards Reid, pulling off the blindfold and running his hand through Reid's hair.

Their colleague instantly vomited. Their eyes watched him sadly, as Jason asked if he felt better. Reid's gaze was looking straight ahead, his eyes had that far away look in them. It told the team that he was deeply distressed. Jason's hand stroked his hair again.

_"Don't touch me."_ Reid said weakly, making no move to actually stop Jason.

_"Don't hate me, Spence. I'm teaching you valuable lessons. You'll realise that one day." _Came the reply. Jason knelt down, reaching around Reid unlocking his handcuffs. He told him to get some rest and left the room.

The team all sat silently watching their colleague. Desperate to give him some form of comfort. Morgan found himself trying to think what he had been doing at the time this was happening to Reid. Not that it really made much difference, but for some reason he couldn't help himself.

Reid sat staring ahead in a daze for a good five minutes. Then extremely shaky hands moved around, trying to help him to get up. He clearly couldn't find the energy. He looked terribly light headed. In the end, he shuffled himself backwards towards the bed. When he reached the side of it, he rested against it, bringing his knees up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around them and dropped his head onto his knees. His whole body trembled, but he didn't cry. He was clearly in shock.

Hotch stopped the tape.

"We need to find him." He said simply. The hatred burning in his eyes.

Morgan's head was in his hands. For once, he didn't comment.

"I don't know if I can watch any more of this guys." Prentiss held her hands up.

"We're taking a break, Emily. We'll come back to it in again in 20." Hotch nodded.

Morgan stared at the wall.

"How is Reid ever gonna get over this?" He asked, forlornly. The other agents exchanged concerned glances. "The kid doesn't trust people as it is. How is he gonna be able to come back and surround himself with this work after everything that's happened to him?" Morgan's gaze didn't move from the wall.

"He'll have to take it one step at a time... we all will." Rossi said, confident in Reid's ability to recover from just about anything. He hadn't written Reid off just yet.

Garcia knocked on the door, then peeked round to check if it was safe for her to come in.

"Come in Garcia." Hotch gestured to her. "Have you found anything yet?"

"No, not yet sir. But I'm still looking." She glanced around the room, everyone looked very disturbed and pale. "That bad, huh?" She said softly, sitting down next to Morgan taking his hand.

"You have no idea." Morgan shook his head, closing his eyes.

"Jayje has gone to the hospital. She didn't want him to be alone." Garcia said, squeezing Morgan's hand.

Rossi nodded, approving of the idea. Reid needed all the support he could get right now.

Silence over took the room. Garcia then looked to Prentiss who had been uncharacteristically quiet.

"You okay?" Garcia asked gently.

Prentiss sighed, shaking her head.

"I have watched some things in my time. Horrific things, things that you probably should never see in your lifetime. But that.. it's... it's _Reid._You know? _Reid_..." She rubbed a hand down her face. "He just doesn't deserve that."

Garcia reached her hand across the table to her female friend. Prentiss took it and smiled.

Garcia sat comforting Morgan and Prentiss as Hotch and Rossi made another round of coffees. They didn't know why, but they seemed to help. It at least kept their exhausted minds on tick over.

They all sat, sipping at their mugs for the next fifteen minutes, saying very little. They didn't want to talk about the video, but felt disrespectful talking about anything else. So the odd comment about Hotch's coffee making skills and Rossi's addiction to sweetener was batted around, but generally they remained quiet until all mugs were pushed into the centre of the table. They were ready for round three.

"Garcia." Hotch looked to her, gesturing with the remote that he was going to start the tape.

"I'm staying, sir." She said unsurely.

The team looked at her surprised.

"No, Penelope." Morgan said taking her hand. "You don't wanna see this."

"No." She looked at him sternly. "But neither do any of you. And Reid didn't have a choice but to see this... I feel like I owe it to him, you know."

"Garcia, he wouldn't even want us watching this. If he knew..." Prentiss tried to convince her friend.

"I know! But I can't explain it. If I don't watch it, I feel like he will think that...that I'm repulsed by him." She pulled a face.

"That's not true." Rossi reassured her.

"I know." She conceded. "But I can't explain it. When I left the room, I felt like I'd abandoned him. At least if I understand even just a little part of what he went through, then maybe I can help him."

"No, Garcia." Morgan corrected her. "You're punishing yourself. Because you feel responsible." She looked her friend in the eyes, surprised at how accurately he'd judged her. "But you're not responsible, baby girl. The only person who is responsible is the bastard on those tapes."

Garcia gave him a small smile.

"Oh stud muffin." She said softly. "Tell that to yourself." He glanced at her and she smiled knowingly. She knew he was blaming himself too. "I appreciate you trying to protect me. But I've got to do this... I can always walk out the door... unlike Reid." She said sadly.

Morgan was going to say something again, but was cut off by Garcia raising her eyebrows at him. That signalled she did not want to be argued with. He closed his mouth sulkily. He knew this would kill her. Hotch didn't look too happy about it either. But he understood her motives, even if she would regret them.

He picked up the remote and pressed play again. Reid was on the floor sat curled up by the bed. He pressed 'fast forward' again, they watched him climb onto the bed at a high speed then Jason entered the room once Reid appeared to be asleep.

"He's back." Rossi pointed out. Morgan looked to Garcia, whose eyes were already looking nervous.

Hotch pressed play and they watched Jason tiptoe into the room and place a blanket over Reid. Standing over the young man. Jason watched him sleep. He stroked his face gently and pushed his hair behind his ear. When Reid stirred slightly, Jason pulled back watching. When Reid settled again, Jason bent down and gently kissed him on the neck, then moved up to his jawline, finally placing feather light kisses on his cheek. He breathed deeply, clearly feeling aroused. He brought his hand up to Reid's body and seemed like he was going to grab him out of his sleep. His fingers twitched as the thoughts crossed his mind. But he stopped himself, choosing instead to breathe in the young agent's scent. After almost ten minutes of just standing over Reid, watching him sleep, he finally left the room.

Prentiss looked around the room. They all wore the same expression. Sickened confusion.

"He seems almost like he cares." Rossi said with a frown.

"No he doesn't Rossi." Morgan countered quickly.

"But what's with the blanket and the soft stroking? That's the sort of behaviour you see when someone cares about someone else." Rossi questioned.

"He does not fucking _care_ about Reid." He argued, getting slightly angry about his definition of 'cares'.

"I don't know. It could explain why he blindfolds him. Maybe he feels remorse." Prentiss intervened.

Morgan shook his head, not saying anything, knowing that if he did he would most likely lose a friend. So he remained quiet.

Hotch noticed this. He immediately picked up the remote and pressed 'fast forward' again. The rest of the tape was just Reid sleeping, so he picked up the third one and inserted it into the video player.

Again, the tape began with Reid on the bed, under the blanket.

"At least he allowed him to sleep." Rossi said, trying to find some positives in the situation at least.

Morgan shot him another look. He was really feeling irritated by Rossi and his stupid remarks.

Finally they saw Reid stir out of his sleep. Hotch pressed play again.

They watched Reid sit up and look at the blanket, clearly surprised to find himself covered up. He sat cross-legged on the bed and went deep into his thoughts. It was an expression that they saw regularly whilst working with Reid. It was clear he was trying to figure things out, most likely profile Jason. They were all glad to see that he was still relatively focused, despite what he had just been through. However much his hands still shook.

Reid turned to the door suddenly and Jason entered carrying a tray of breakfast.

"How long is the gap between these videos? How is it breakfast already?" Prentiss said, confused.

"He made Reid think that he was there longer than he actually was." Morgan said simply. Prentiss just nodded in return, sensing that Morgan wasn't in the mood to be questioned. She shot a look to Hotch who returned it slightly.

_"Morning sleepy head!" _Morgan rolled his eyes at Jason's happy tone, feeling highly irritated when Jason ruffled Reid's hair.

Garcia was already pulling a face, and she didn't even know what had happened so far.

_"You're not still angry about last night, are you? Do you wanna talk about it?" _

"Patronising bastard." Prentiss remarked.

They all noticed how Reid couldn't look at Jason.

_"No."_ It was barely stronger than a whisper.

Garcia's face crumpled when she heard how week Reid's voice was. What had been done to him?

They watched as Jason explained to Reid how he thought he might be hungry and looked slightly taken a back when Reid wasn't grateful. But it was when Jason called him Spence, Reid looked irritated.

_"Don't call me that."_

_"I like Spence. It's cute."_ Jason smiled, clearly trying to irritate his victim.

"That's JJ name for him." Garcia said, looking around the team as if there was something they could do about it.

They watched Jason calmly walk his way over to the bed. Reid rubbed his hand down his face, feeling stressed, ultimately missing the movement Jason was making towards him.

Jason's hand was suddenly tangled in Reid's hair and their young colleagues head was slammed violently into the bed post.

"Oh my god!" Garcia jumped, wincing.

Reid couldn't help but cry out with the force of the hit.

_"Don't you dare fucking tell me what I can and can't do!"_

_"I'm sorry!"_ The desperation in Reid's voice brought tears to Garcia's eyes.

They continued to watch as Jason justified himself and Reid looked at him forlornly.

_"I don't know what you expect me to do."_ His voice was weak and hopeless.

"He's giving up." Hotch said.

"No, he's not." Morgan retorted quickly. "For god's sake, Hotch. Give him some fuckin' credit!"

"Derek, quiet! You need to listen to this." Rossi shushed him. Morgan shot him a look, before realising what Jason was saying.

_"I'm saving you! Saving you from the people that really hurt you!"_ Jason was speaking passionately. Now this was the sort of thing they needed to hear.

They all sat forward, listening intently to the conversation between the two. Desperately hoping that at some point, Jason would provide them with the information they need.

* * *

><p>JJ walked down the corridor towards Reid's room. Her stomach did a little flip at the thought of seeing her colleague again. The last time she'd seen him, he had been incredibly annoyed with all of them. And judging by what she gathered from Morgan, not much had changed.<p>

Suddenly, JJ collided with someone's shoulder.

"Ouch!" She said quickly. "Sorry!" She turned to find a man with long black hair and a thick beard looking back at her.

"Sorry ma'am, my fault." The man smiled and turned away, continuing his walk down the corridor. JJ cursed herself for being so clumsy. She really needed to focus more.

Finally she reached Reid's room. Two police officers were stood outside.

She nodded to them.

"Everything been okay?" She flashed her credentials at the officers.

"Yes ma'am. Nothing to worry about." One of the officers replied, smiling at her.

"Good. Thanks." JJ knocked on the door. When she received no reply, she pushed the door ajar. She was met with Reid's cold gaze. "Hey." She smiled, approaching the bedside, pulling a chair to where she wanted to sit. At first she had to do a double take. Reid's bruises were much darker now than they had been a few hours ago. He looked dreadful. He was partially sat up in bed, in his hospital gown, attached to two IVs and covered in bandages that were already starting to show signs of wear. Blood was already spotting around the bandage to his arm. The bruise on his cheek bone was now completely black too. It looked awfully unnatural on Reid's attractive and youthful face.

"Hey." Reid said quietly. Merely glancing up and then back to the bed covers.

"How are you?"

"Fine." He said with a slight smile and a nod of the head. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." She smiled. "A bit tired but, what can you do?" She breathed out an uncomfortable laugh. Reid just pressed his lips together into a tight awkward smile then looked away. "So..." JJ said, automatically wishing she hadn't as she desperately tried to think of something suitable to say. "How are the staff?" Was that the best she could come up with? "I mean... like with you... are they nice?"

Reid furrowed his brows, looking at her like she was stupid. She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutinising gaze.

"Yeah." He answered simply.

"Yeah?" JJ questioned a little lost.

"Are they nice?... Yeah." Reid was seeming to be very impatient.

"Right." She nodded. She leaned forward carefully. "Spence..."

"Don't."

JJ's eyes flashed unsurely. "Don't what?" She was feeling quite irritated. "Don't call you Spence? I've called you that for years and I'm not going to let him ruin that." Her eyes were determined. Reid sighed. As irritable as he was feeling, he wasn't up for an argument. He just shrugged his shoulders. This bothered JJ. "You're not just going to let him win, are you?" Her eyes looked at him full of concern.

Reid turned to look at JJ, searching her eyes. Now he was the one who looked lost.

"Hasn't he won already?" He said in a small voice.

JJ's eyes started to water up and she grabbed at his hand.

"No, Spence." He still flinched at the name. "No, he hasn't! Because you're still here! He could have killed you. You still have your life! And surely that counts for something, right?"

"Well that's just it, JJ. He never was going to kill me. Or he would have done it when he had a gun pressed to my chin... Why didn't he?" Reid almost sounded disappointed.

"Spence, don't talk like that." Reid winced.

"Please, JJ. That name..." He closed his eyes. Her eyes flashed irritated for a moment, but then turned sad when she saw the effect it was having on Reid. His eyes were closed tightly and his breathing became deep. She shook her head in sadness.

"Okay." She conceded. "Reid it is."

He opened his eyes, turning to his close friend.

"Thank you." His big eyes were clouded with tears that he desperately tried to hide.

"You don't have to hide from me, Reid." JJ said, squeezing his hand. He pulled his hand back.

"I'm not." He said simply.

JJ sighed. So it was going to be like this again.

She rolled her eyes and looked to the television in the corner of the room.

"So... you get your own TV?"

Reid furrowed his brows at JJ and followed her gaze to the corner of the room.

"Oh yeah." He said, apparently not having noticed it before.

"Pass me the remote." JJ gestured across her friend to the table next to him. He leaned across to grab at it, then took a sharp intake of breath through his teeth, wincing as his punished ribs complained. JJ quickly put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back into the pillow. "I'll get it." She stood, moving round to the other side of the bed, claiming the remote and then sitting back down where she started. Reid watched the whole time. Seemingly irritated at his lack of flexibility.

JJ looked at him and smiled, flicking on the TV.

"Please no soaps." Reid said under his breath.

"What do you take me for?" JJ joked. Automatically switching to a channel playing 'The Young and the Restless'.

Reid's looked to the TV, then rolled his head to JJ as if to say, 'really?'

She laughed at the expression on Reid's face. She couldn't resist.

"Don't worry! I hate soaps... well, most of the time." She flicked to a documentary channel. "Better?"

Reid turned back to the TV to see a documentary on volcanoes. His eyebrows twitched, there wasn't really much he didn't know about volcanoes. At least nothing that would be discussed on a television documentary.

Reid looked back to JJ, shrugging his shoulders. For once, he really wasn't bothered. When he turned away, she furrowed her brows. Reid would normally be sat forward, spouting all of this additional information. He didn't use television documentaries to learn things, he used them as a platform to teach other people. He was renowned for speaking throughout almost every documentary he had ever watched. But now he remained silent, his eyes barely even focused on the screen.

She just wanted to shake him, try to wake up the 'old Reid' inside of him. But she knew that wouldn't work. This was going to take time. Time she wasn't sure she had the patience to deal with.

Reid sat staring at the screen, but his mind wasn't on volcanoes. All he could think about was Jason. He could still feel his hands all over him. The sweat off his body, seeping through his clothes. The grip on his skin as Jason held him still and his fingers digging in as he repositioned him a second and third time. The helplessness as he tried in vain to move himself away from the man, only to be pulled back by relentless hands. The feeling of Jason's arm wrapped around his head, covering his mouth, effectively trapping his face. The delicate and passionate movement of the man's lips exploring, leaving a sloppy trail all over his body. A clouded voice suddenly broke through his thoughts. "Reid?" The voice sounded so far away, the thrum of the blood pumping around his body sounded so loud in his ears. He was lost in the motion of his body moving up and down as Jason thrust into him and the turning of his head to escape the unrelenting hand gripped around it. "REID!"

He jumped as the loud voice penetrated his thoughts and a hand grabbed onto his upper arm.

"Reid! Reid!" The hand left his arm then two hands suddenly wrapped around his face pulling it sideways. The panic seized his heart and he pulled desperately at the hands before his eyes came into focus. "It's me! It's me!" He gasped as his mind came back into the present and JJ stood in front of him gripping his face. Realising he had become lost in his memories again he panted as he regained his composure. JJ was surprised that he didn't push her off. He closed his eyes.

"Reid," She said firmly. "Look at me." He opened his dazed and confused eyes, then tried to pull himself free from her grip, but her hands followed him, careful not to hurt his cheekbone. "Reid." She said strongly. This time his eyes focused properly and he met her gaze. "Are you okay?" He furrowed his brows.

"What?" JJ removed her hands from his face and moved them to rest on his shoulders.

"I don't know what happened, I was talking to you and you didn't answer. You just kept staring." Reid seemed to be drifting off again. "Reid!"

Reid licked his lips, shaking his head.

"Sorry." He said softly. His face looking troubled.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked rubbing his shoulder. Reid nodded, his breath shaking.

"Yeah." He closed his eyes again and huffed out a breath. He couldn't believe this kept happening.

JJ pulled her chair closer to the bed and switched off the television. She sat down, waiting for Reid to open his eyes. When he finally did, she noticed how emotionally exhausted he looked. This seriously worried her.

"Reid, you know you can talk to me, right?... About anything." He simply nodded. Not even bothering to answer her properly. JJ sighed. "Not talking about it is only going to make things worse. Believe me. I know."

Reid raised his eyebrows and turned to JJ, a questioning look in his eyes.

"You do?" He appeared slightly concerned.

"Oh no! Not me, Spence." She winced at the name. "Sorry... my friend." Reid's lips tightened into a line. "When I was at school, I had a friend called Sandy. God, she was my best friend. We did everything together. She was more like a sister... but um, when we were 16, she was, um... raped at a party by some guy at our school. I was one of the only people who knew. And I was her _best_ friend. But she wouldn't talk to me about it. And I tried and I tried to get her to talk to me, or her Mom, or someone... anyone who could help. And she wouldn't. She just kept on pretending that everything was normal and she was fine. To everyone else, she seemed okay. But I knew her.. and I knew she wasn't. But anyway, to cut a long story short, when it was her 17th birthday, ten months after it happened, I was going round to her house to give her a present. And there was an ambulance outside." JJ was clearly lost in her story, her eyes started to well up. Reid watched her through sad eyes. "She'd hanged herself from the at the top of the stairs. Her parents came in to find her like that." A tear ran down her face. "Her parents, they... they never got over it." She wiped another tear from her eye. "Neither have I... I always think, if she just would have spoken to someone, or if there was anything I could have done to be a better friend, to make her trust me as she should have done. I don't know."

Reid stared hard at JJ.

"You've never told me that before." He said, gently.

"There just never seemed to be the right moment, I suppose." She smiled slightly. "But you understand why I'm telling you now."

Reid pulled his gaze away from JJ's and looked to the bed covers, deep in thought.

"Yeah. I do." He nodded slowly.

"I don't want you going down that same path, Reid. She refused to let us help her. And in the end she killed herself."

"Well maybe she didn't feel anyone could help her." Reid said softly. "What if she was already dead? What if it was him that really killed her?"

"But it wasn't Reid. She killed herself." JJ said strongly.

"No, _he_ killed her." Reid said, shaking his head. "Don't ever think like that JJ."

"I think like that because it was true, Reid. I found out two months later, he'd done it to another girl, two months before. The exact same thing. She wasn't dead. She didn't hang herself from the top of some stairs... She spoke to people. She got the help she needed to pull through it. The fact is, he had no control over her once she was away from him. So whatever either of them did after that, was their choice. Not _his, not anyone else's. One chose to fight, the other chose to die. Because clearly those around Sandy weren't important enough for her to fight for."_

"You're still angry." Reid pointed out matter of factly.

"Yes I'm still angry. Because it was needless!" JJ's eyes were watering with tears again. "He couldn't touch her again and _still_ she let him win. Where is the sense in that?"

Reid's hand came up to rub at his eye in a stressed manner.

"It doesn't make sense, I suppose."

JJ glanced up at him now, seriously.

"No... it doesn't. Not when you've got people here, ready to help you."

Reid sighed. He glanced self-consciously at JJ then quickly pulled his gaze away again.

"I... I just don't feel safe." He said with a small smile. "It's not so much... him. I know he's gone, and he can't come near me again." JJ's stomach did a flip, should she tell him? "But... I just... I... You didn't believe me. Not one of you."

"Reid. It was difficult."

"I know. So you say. So all of you say. But I _trusted_ you guys and not one of you was there when I needed you most. Even if you did think I was going crazy, which I admit, I was starting to wonder myself. Not one of you came round to see if I was okay... no one called after hours to see if I wanted to do anything. It was like you guys just thought it was some inevitable disease that I had developed and you just had to deal with it in the best way you could – by not making a big deal of it."

"Reid-"

"AND because of that, Jason managed to become the only person I could depend on. So I guess it serves me right really."

"Don't say that." JJ furrowed her brows.

"My mother always said, never trust anyone. You will only get hurt." Reid looked determined.

"Reid. Your mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, of course she's going to say that."

"Well I suppose I shouldn't trust my mother either, seeing as it's because of her that you guys all wrote me off as crazy so..." Reid's voice was in that slightly high pitched tone it enters when he is feeling stressed but trying to sound light hearted. His voice was tight and strained.

"Oh don't be ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? Ridiculous, JJ? Ridiculous is the fact that every time I trust someone it gets thrown back in my face! Ever since I was a little kid, I've trusted so called friends, who would turn up with the whole football team to see me get kicked from one end of the pitch to the other. So called friends who would promise to walk home with me, but then take a lift from someone only to leave me to get mugged. So called friends who've caused fights in bars and left me to deal with the consequences." JJ looked at Reid shocked. Reid's life sounded like a complete nightmare. "And I really thought in this job, at the BAU, I had found people I could truly rely on."

"You have!" JJ quickly interjected.

"But no!" Reid spat. "I didn't expect it from the others, but you – you've done it to me before haven't you? Lying to me for all those months about Emily. I should have known then, but again I was too stupid. I was taken in by fake sorries and thinking that you were genuinely there for me. I should never have trusted you again. I should never have trusted any of you in the first place."

"Spence!" JJ looked dreadfully hurt, her eyes watered. He was being particularly venomous.

"What did I say about that name, JJ?" He was getting into something of a panic again. He was throwing everything at everyone he possibly could to avoid talking about what had happened to him. JJ found it plain to see.

Her eyes opened wide though as Reid went to swing his legs out of bed.

"What are you doing?" She asked, standing up straight away and moving round to the other side of the bed to block his way.

"I'm getting out of here." He said simply, as if she was stupid.

"No, Reid. You have just had surgery. You can't walk on your leg." With a sharp intake of breath as his injured body pulsed in pain, Reid's feet finally reached the floor. Putting most of his weight through his right leg instead of his injured left leg he moved to stand up, wincing as his ribs, head and legs complained. "Reid, sit down now." JJ ordered, standing directly in front of him, only a few inches away.

"No." He said firmly. He found his balance, whilst he was slightly stooped, he was still stood of his own accord. Although JJ looked just about ready to push him backwards if need be. He levelled his gaze with her for a few moments. "Move."

"No way." She said standing her ground. She looked to the wall for the nurse call button, but it was on the other side of the bed. She chided herself for not pressing the button before going to stop him.

"JJ, move." He said in a stronger voice. She still didn't feel threatened. This was after all, Reid.

"Not a chance, Reid. Not until you sit down." She stared him right in the eye. Frustrated he stared back, then dropped his gaze, appearing to concede.

In return, JJ's stance visibly relaxed.

But suddenly, Reid tore the IVs out of the back of his hand.

"Spence! Oh my god."

Blood poured out of the young agent's hand. JJ had to move now. She raced round to the nurse call button. She then saw the emergency call. She made a split second decision to press the emergency buzzer. If this didn't qualify as an emergency, she didn't know what did.

Reid started limping his way towards the door, blood dripping all over the floor. The alarm was sounding from outside his room and JJ was stood back in his way holding his shoulders.

"Reid! Please!" She begged him desperately but he wasn't listening. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"JJ, I don't want to be here." He gently pushed at her trying to get her to move. His eyes were sad and pleading. He felt so on display at this hospital. Everyone checking in on him, sitting staring at him, analysing him, examining him. After having Jason crawling all over him and now this, he just needed some space.

Suddenly three nurses burst into the room and JJ quickly turned to them.

"He shouldn't be out of bed. He's trying to leave, I didn't know what else to do." She said exasperated.

"You did the right thing ma'am." A female nurse said, moving to turn off the emergency buzzer. She looked like she had the most authority.

The other two nurses, one of which was the miserable male nurse from earlier, moved towards Reid. JJ stepped out of the way.

"Spencer, you need to get back into bed." The male nurse said.

"No." Reid refused flatly, still advancing with small steps towards the door.

"Spencer-" The man tried again putting a hand on his shoulder.

Reid froze.

"Get off me." He said through gritted teeth. The man automatically removed his hand, cursing himself for not thinking about what he was doing.

"Reid!" JJ said shocked. "I'm really sorry." She quickly apologised on Reid's behalf.

"Spencer. Just stop for one minute. I need to talk to you." The authoritative nurse stepped forward. His eyes flashed up at her and then he tried to move again. "Just one minute." She tried again.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Fine."

"Get him a chair." The nurse said to the male nurse. He moved quickly. Then she turned to the young female nurse. "Get Dr. Marston." She practically whispered.

"I don't need it." Reid snapped as a chair was placed behind him.

"Come on, Spencer." The male nurse tried.

"Leave it." Said the authoritative nurse. "Spencer. I am Philippa. This here is Mark. We are looking after you today."

Reid looked at her impatiently. She could tell he was desperate to get away from everyone.

"When can I go?" He said pleadingly.

"Spencer, you know why you're in here, don't you?" She said softly.

Reid just rolled his eyes and breathed out an exasperated breath.

"I just don't want to be here."

The door then opened and Dr. Marston entered.

"What's going on here then?" She said cheerily.

Reid huffed at the sheer amount of people who were bothering him again. All he wanted to do was get away from everyone.

"He wants to go home." Philippa said.

"Right." Dr. Marston said. She turned to the two nurses and nodded her thanks as they left the room, leaving the doctor to deal with Reid. JJ stood quietly in the corner, nervous to interfere. "Why do you want to go home, Dr. Reid?"

"Does it matter?" He asked genuinely.

"Well, it does really. Because if there is something we can do for you here that can make you more comfortable then we can try to do that for you."

"There is nothing you can do." He said simply.

"So you just want to go?" She asked, brows furrowed slightly.

"Yes." His voice was uncharacteristically sharp.

"You do understand why you are here, don't you?" Reid looked at her like she had asked him the most ridiculous question in the world. She held her hands up. "I have to ask! You do understand?"

"Of course I do. I'm not stupid."

"And I'm not calling you stupid, doctor. But I have to make sure you fully understand the consequences of your actions, as I believe that early discharge from hospital is not in your best interests." Dr. Marston spoke calmly and fairly.

"I'm quite capable of taking care of my own interests, thank you." His expression matched that of when he snapped at Emily after the Tobias Hankel ordeal.

"Well, as a doctor. I believe it is in your best interests to stay in hospital for at least another 48 hours. And that is my professional opinion and recommendation. So if you are indeed, looking after your best interests then surely your decision would be to stay in hospital."

Reid smiled at her.

"Well then, I should be thankful that it is my decision to make." He moved to limp past her.

"We can detain you, if need be doctor." She said firmly, she really didn't want to play this card – but her patient clearly wasn't in the right mind.

JJ winced, this wasn't going to go well.

He looked at her, eyes wide.

"Detain me?" He challenged.

"If I believe you lack the mental capacity at this moment to make an informed choice regarding your medical condition, we can detain you for further assessment."

"I know the laws." He snapped. He was starting to look deflated. This was an argument he wasn't going to win.

"You are barely out of surgery, Dr. Reid. You have pulled out your intravenous injections, you are experiencing severe flashbacks, you are trying to walk on a leg that should be none weight baring for at least two days – and that's not to mention the high risk of infection to your wounds. The best place for you right now, is here. And you know that. Like you said, you're not stupid. Far from it in fact. So if you cannot understand this information and see what is best for you, then I can only assume that your mental state is preventing you from understanding your situation. In which case, I would have no choice but to detain you for your own welfare." She looked him dead in the eye and shrugged her shoulders. The choice was clearly up to him. Wasn't much of a choice to make.

Reid's eyes welled up with tears. He was truly trapped. He either could either stay, or be detained. He was sick of the control other people seemed to have over him.

Sighing heavily, he sat down into the chair behind him. Giving up his fight. The tension in the air instantly dissipated.

"Thank you." Dr. Marston said gently.

Reid didn't say anything. He was just staring at the floor. Dr. Marston glanced across to JJ, who nodded her thanks. The doctor then grabbed a chair and pulled it up opposite Reid.

"Dr. Reid." He wouldn't look up at her. "Dr. Reid." She tried again, more firmly this time. He responded with a sigh and then finally looked at her. "I would like to talk to you, if I may?"

Reid sat staring at the floor for quite a while. But he was coming to a realisation. All of this avoidance was doing him no good. He had just been spoken to in the same way that people spoke to his mother when she was institutionalised. He realised with sudden shock that he had been acting completely irrationally. What the hell had he been doing? He was a rational, logical person, who had just ripped two IVs out of his hand and walked on a leg that had just had surgery. He had pulled four people away from their work. Work they could have been doing with genuinely ill people. He had a sheer moment of clarity and he could see that if he was going to get over this, he was going to have to deal with it. Sooner rather than later. It had only been a few hours since he was found and he had already had the doctor rushing in twice. It had to stop, he needed some control. And his analytical brain realised that to gain control, he had to lose control. He had to let go of his emotions and allow people to see his vulnerability. The thought was utterly terrifying. But he knew he had to, or else he would destroy himself and everyone around him. Sometimes, being an expert psychologist really sucked.

He examined Dr. Marston's eyes for a few moments, seeing nothing but kindness, he nodded his head, agreeing to talk with her.

"Thank you." She said again. "Now it's quite personal. Would you prefer for us to talk in private?" She gestured to JJ in the corner of the room. Reid glanced over his shoulder, his eyes meeting with JJ's. She looked so unsure of him. He suddenly felt very guilty.

"No. She can stay." He gave her a small smile. Her face brightened immediately. His heart started beating fast at the thought of JJ seeing his weakness. But deep down, he trusted her. Deep down... somewhere. He wasn't quite sure where... but he knew he trusted her. He just needed to find it again.

"Okay. I would like to talk to you about what happened to you." He took a deep breath. "This is just intended as a quick chat. I am not a psychologist, nor do I claim to be a counsellor. So this will be brief, but I just want to discuss a few things with you." Reid nodded. She spoke very softly. "When we examined you, Dr. Reid. We found signs of sexual assault." He dropped his head. "I'm assuming this is correct." He nodded. "Okay." She said softly. "And is this why you want to leave here? Because you don't want to talk about it?"

Reid kept his head down for a few moments longer, then his shoulders started to shake as he began to cry again. He was exhausted with crying. But this was different. He finally let his barriers down and looked up to meet the doctor's concerned eyes. The look in her eyes suddenly made him break out into a sob and JJ automatically moved forward to comfort him. She put a hand on his shoulder and he sank further forwards putting his head into his hands as the painful sobs racked his body.

He spoke through the sobs, finding it hard to catch his breath for long enough.

"I... I... just... don't know... what to do..." JJ squeezed his shoulder.

"Is that what your flashbacks are about?" She asked gently.

Reid nodded.

"Yeah." He wiped his face with his forearm. He still sobbed. "I just... can't.. stop.."

"Stop what, Spencer?"

He took a deep breath, trying to steady his breathing.

"I can still feel him." His voice no more than a whisper. "Everywhere." He was starting to hyperventilate slightly. "And when... I can't... feel him... he takes... my mind." He spoke between short fast breaths.

"Okay, Spencer. I want you to calm down. Take some deep breaths, can you do that for me?" He nodded frantically. "Just breathe in... and out... in... and out..." Reid followed the doctor's relaxing motions and he soon his breathing was back to a normal rate. JJ still had her hand on his shoulder, supportively.

"Spencer... would you like me to ask for all of your nurses to be female? Would that make you a little more comfortable?"

Reid thought for a few moments.

"Yes please." He answered, ashamed. Tears were still running down his face.

Dr. Marston then stood. Reid glanced up at her quickly.

"Where are you going?" He asked, almost disappointed.

"To sort that out for you." When Reid looked away, she made eye contact with JJ and gestured for her to come and sit in the chair where she had been. She'd cleverly set it up so that when Reid finally talked, he would be talking to a friend. Rather than a strange doctor. JJ moved round to sit in the chair and Dr. Marston left the room.

"What did he do to you, Reid?" JJ asked gently, it was half question, half statement of shock.

Reid's face suddenly crumpled again and he reached out to her desperately as his body once again dealt with the painful sobs. JJ quickly stood, pulling him into a tight hug, stroking his head. Her eyes were full of tears too. She had never heard him cry like this. Even when he thought that Emily had died, he still held back. But now, his whole body was practically shaking with sobs.

"I couldn't move JJ." He whimpered. More sobs racked his body. "I couldn't move... I tried to fight it..." he gasped, with a hitching sob. "But it just made things worse."

Tears then started pouring down JJ's face. Reid was like her younger brother. Seeing him like this tore her apart. How could someone does this to someone so gentle as Reid. She felt sick.

"I'm so sorry, Reid. I'm so sorry this happened to you." Her voice was upset. He wrapped his arms around her back as tight as he could.

JJ was surprised, Reid was never a one for physical contact, she thought now he would be even less so. But it was obvious that he desperately needed some comfort from somewhere. From someone who wasn't going to hurt him. She hugged him tightly until his sobbing settled down to small hiccuping gasps.

JJ rubbed his back and then released her grip around Reid, moving to sit down in front of him. She wiped at her eyes as she did so. Reid did the same.

"Sorry." Reid said softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." She replied.

"I was horrible to you." He said, glancing at her then away again. He always looked like he was about to be told off. That was one of the things that endeared him to JJ. But it was also something that wasn't normal and if she thought about it too much, it would always make her sad.

"No Reid. You weren't. You were right, I should have listened to you. We all should." She took his hand, careful not to hurt his knuckles. Reid didn't argue. Because deep down, he really did wish they had listened. "But I also know you. You don't want to talk about your feelings. You don't do feelings. And you lashing out was your way of not having to speak to me." Reid huffed out a slightly amused breath. Dropping his head into his hand. "I'll make a profiler yet, right?" She said with a small smile.

"What do you mean, yet?" He replied. "You've been doing it for years."

She looked at him slightly surprised, and slightly pleased.

"You think so?"

"Don't think we haven't noticed..." Reid said, reassuringly, giving her hand a squeeze.

She smiled fully now.

There was knock at the door. JJ looked to Reid for permission to invite the person outside in.

"Come in." He said strongly.

Dr. Marston entered the room with a tray. She had come back to re-insert his cannula for the IVs.

"Is everything alright?"

She looked between the two, they seemed much more at ease.

"Yeah." Reid said, his voice slightly raspy.

"Good." She smiled. "Now, can I please re site these IVs?"

Reid looked to the needles on the tray and swallowed. They looked huge.

"Erm... yes." He said nervously.

Dr. Marston raised an eyebrow at him.

"I didn't know you were scared of needles Reid!" JJ said, smiling at the doctor.

He licked his lips with uncertainty.

"I'm not... but they look far too big to go in my hand." His eyes were slightly wider than usual. Dr. Marston chuckled pulling out the medium sized needle.

"This coming from a man who has been shot in the knee." JJ rolled her eyes at Dr. Marston.

"Well, if you put it like that." The doctor smiled at Reid. "Anyway, Spencer, I will have to put this further up your arm. I can't put it in the same place and I would be reluctant to place it in your other hand due to your knuckles. The damage is more severe on that hand." Reid furrowed his brows and nodded, looking at his bandaged hands curiously. "Okay doctor?" She asked respectfully.

He nodded. Giving her his left arm. For the first time, he found himself wondering what his right arm looked like under all of those bandages.

Dr. Marston had soon placed the cannula in Reid's arm. Not without a slight wince from him to JJ. She smiled at him again. Glad to see he was actually interacting. This Reid was a million miles away from the Reid she had been sat with no more than half an hour before. It didn't mean he was miraculously better. But it at least gave her hope that he was still in there somewhere.

She couldn't wait to tell the team.

* * *

><p>Morgan was staring at the screen, completely incensed. Now he understood exactly where Reid's trust issues had come from. They had just sat listening to Jason convincing Reid that the team had been trying to get rid of him. And he had a very convincing argument.<p>

"He's so clever." Garcia gasped. "I can't believe how clever he is."

Reid was confronting Jason at this point in the video.

_"So you made me think the team was making me crazy!"_

_"No, Spencer. NO!"_ They watched Jason grab hold of Reid's shoulders desperately. He genuinely looked like he meant it. That was what sickened them most. _"I did not do that to you! I saw what was happening to you and I protected you. I took you away from it."_

"It's almost like he actually believes it." Hotch commented.

"This isn't going to end well for Reid though." Rossi observed.

_"And you used it against me!"_ Reid responded angrily.

_"YES! Yes I did Spence, but only to save you. Do you not understand? I was saving you!"_

"Oh my god Jason, shut up!" Garcia feeling more frustrated that she ever thought possible. She couldn't believe how calculated Jason was.

They watched as Reid shoved Jason back.

_"NO! You are lying, you want me to turn against my team. I'm not stupid!"_

"No, Reid. Don't anger him." Hotch said under his breath.

Jason then threw himself at Reid, pinning him down to the bed.

"Oh no." Garcia said, covering her eyes, looking through her fingers.

_"Now listen! Do you trust me?"_ When Reid didn't answer, Jason grabbed him by the hair forcefully._ "Do you fucking trust me?" _

_"NO!" _Reid shouted.

"What the fuck is he doing?" Morgan banged his fist on the table, he was sick of seeing Jason mess with his best friend's mind.

_"Will you ever trust me again?"_

_"No." _Reid answered again.

_"Then why the fuck would I lie about this? You tell me, you fucking genius. What exactly is it that I have to gain? You have just said you'll never trust me. I have you here, I know at some point your team will start looking for you, they will have to, but that barely concerns me. You can't go anywhere, it's not like you trusting your team actually affects your chances of getting out of here. I already have your team well and truly out of the fucking way! So what more could I possibly want?"_

"He makes a good point. No wonder Reid was taken in." Prentiss said. "That seems like logic."

_"You want me to have nothing to fight for."_

"Yeah, well so does Reid." Morgan snapped at his colleague.

_"Spence, I don't care whether you fight or not. To be honest, I find this whole new found strength thing rather arousing. So why the fuck would I wanna get rid of that?"_ Garcia turned away from the television as Jason leaned in a little closer. _" The fact of the matter is, Spencer, I gain nothing_ out of lying about that. _Nothing_ at all." Reid was clearly lost for words.

_"You get to see me suffer."_They knew he was clutching at straws.

_"Oh Spence,"_They watched as Jason pinned down Reid again. He then moved to kiss his neck, speaking between the kisses. _"I find this... a much... more effective... means of doing that."_ The team all squirmed uncomfortably. Did he ever get a break?

"Oh god." Garcia said, forcing herself to watch and try to be strong. Although her eyes were tearing up.

_"Get off me."_ Reid's desperate voice sounded so pleading compared to the strength it had only a few moments before. Sex was definitely Jason's weapon against Reid.

_"Not a chance."_ They heard Jason say, he was still kissing spotted him licking too. When he did that, Reid really squirmed underneath him. _"Don't you understand? I have all of the control here anyway, Spence. I just simply don't need any more."_

They heard Reid whisper a simple reply of 'no'. It had no real commitment behind it. Jason had clearly made an impression.

_"The question is...Spence."_ The lust in Jason's voice made them wince. He continued kissing up to his ear. _"Is it actually your mind that's letting you down? Or is it the necessary budget cuts that each team is having to take?"_

"This is what Reid mentioned at the hospital." Rossi pointed out.

"He didn't seriously believe it did he?" Garcia asked.

"Put anyone under that kind of stress and speak to them with the same sort of logic that Jason is using and I think you would find that most people would, yes." Rossi explained.

Garcia just furrowed her brows sadly. Tears were still tracing lines down her face.

They listened carefully as Jason described the FBI memo in detail. It all sounded very convincing. When Reid argued that he wasn't having a psychological breakdown. Jason once again implied that the team might just use his mother's medical background against him to put him forward as a necessary 'budget cut'. This time, Reid didn't argue back. He merely sat, staring.

Jason had been pounding away with these accusations about the team for near on an hour. Something obviously had to give. And Reid just couldn't fight it any more.

Morgan leaned across the table when Reid allowed Jason to sit down next to him and wrap an arm around his shoulders.

"What the hell you doing, kid?... Wake up."

But Reid realised his mistake too late, lost in a trance. Jason was then jumping on top of him again and Reid was hitting and kicking out, desperately trying to free himself. Jason finally pinned down his arms again and tangled their legs together.

_"When are you going to learn? Fighting will do you no good, Spencer." _

Garcia was watching through her fingers again. Suddenly, Reid flipped. After bucking, and hitting out violently. He had managed to punch Jason square in the nose.

The team's stomachs did a flip. Although, they were initially pleased that he had managed to punch Jason. They didn't see how this was going to end well.

When Reid threatened him again, he burst out laughing. The team exchanged sad glances. Did Jason really need to embarrass him anymore?

_"Don't mock me." _Reid said, unsteadily. _"I'm serious."_

"Oh Reid." Garcia said sadly at the weakness of his voice. He was anything but threatening.

Jason stalked his way over to his victim and Reid's fight visibly dissipated.

_"You don't know what serious is." _Jason suddenly lashed out at Reid, kicking him viciously in the stomach then punching him in the back of the head and on his back. He then booted him backwards towards the bed. He fell into the side of it with a pained moan.

"Oh my god, oh my god." Garcia grabbed Morgan's hand and squeezed hard.

_"Now that is how you fight, you fucking child! Stand up!" _

Rossi's hand came up to his beard and he watched his young colleague being grabbed around the collar and shouted at. His face was deeply troubled watching this footage. It made him more determined to find Jason. But mostly, it made him want to go and see Reid.

Reid got himself to his feet, one arm was wrapped around his ribs. He was looking unsurely at Jason.

_"Now hit me."_

"For god's sake." Prentiss said, running her hand down her face. Reid didn't have a chance.

_"What?" _Came the nervous reply.

_"Hit me. Fucking hit me!"_

They watched in disgust as Reid lunged for Jason, throwing a punch his way. His fist was caught easily, then twisted behind his back. Jason cruelly held it there for a long moment and Reid took a sharp breath through his teeth. Jason then viciously head butted him, sending him flying forward onto the floor.

_"Get up."_ He said it twice before Reid found the energy to comply. _"Try again."_

Reid's eyes said it all. He was highly irritated with this game and his reaction showed it. He recklessly threw himself at Jason again, earning himself two hard punches to the chest. The team winced as Reid collapsed to the floor clutching his chest.

"Why is he doing this?" Garcia asked desperately, tears rolling down her face.

"'Cause he's a sick bastard." Morgan spat out. Squeezing Garcia's hand tight.

_"Get up." _

"Again?" Garcia said, exasperated. Reid's eyes pleaded with Jason but he was relentless. _"Get up."_ Reid shook his head trying his best to avoid another injury. _"Get the fuck up. Now."_

They all knew that was a command Reid had to follow. It was said too dangerously for him to disobey. They watched Reid struggle to stand up straight.

"This is torture." Prentiss said, sickened.

_"Try again."_ When Reid gently shook his head, eyes pleading. Jason merely told him 'again'. So Reid kicked out, barely even aiming for Jason. But the bigger man grabbed his leg violently twisting, flipping Reid over in the process.

Reid actually screamed. For the first time. He held onto his injured knee, breathing deeply trying to cope with the pain.

"That's the knee he was shot in." Hotch pointed out. "No wonder he screamed."

_"Get up."_ Jason ordered again. When Reid didn't respond, he told him again.

The team's heart broke when his broken voice shouted out.

_"I can't!" _

Jason was then behind him, comforting him. One leg either side of his victim.

"This is not good." Hotch said.

"What do you mean?" Garcia asked.

_"Ssshh... it's okay, Spence. I just hope you understand now"_

The next second, handcuffs were produced and Reid was desperately trying to scramble away. But he was deftly pulled back to the bed and handcuffed to the side of it. He looked up at Jason and spoke. The words made the team feel even worse.

_"Please just leave me alone, Jay. If you've ever cared about me, you wouldn't want to do this to me. Please."_ He was answered with a blindfold to the eyes.

"Oh god, not again." Morgan's head went to his hands.

They watched as Jason pulled Reid's head into a passionate upside down kiss. One hand was under his chin, the other started crawling down his body.

Garcia was barely watching now.

They watched in horror as Jason touched Reid for the first time and then deepened the kiss into a full on 'snog' when Reid gasped.

Reid started making little noises of protestation as Jason's hand was unbuttoning his trousers, then his hand slipped inside. Reid was begging again.

_"No Jason, please."_

_"Oh Spencer. Don't be so shy."_ Jason was obviously loving this. His hand was now stroking Reid. Garcia had turned fully away.

"I'm still here for you, Reid." she said, tears pouring down her face. "But I just can't watch you."

_"Nothing is going to help, Spence._**_"_ **Reid's body was obviously starting to respond to Jason's ministrations and Reid was feeling extremely embarrassed about it. _"That's it Spence. That's it."_Jason encouraged him, like some sick fantasy. As if it was all consensual.

_"Please... stop."_

_"Why? When you're enjoying it so much."_ Reid was just about to bite his arm and Jason speeded up his strokes causing Reid's head to fall forwards.

"He's got complete control." Prentiss said, shaking her head. "He's using his own body against him."

Jason tried to pull Reid's head back, but he fought against it. Speeding up the strokes again, Reid couldn't cope and lost the control of his head and he was pulled into another passionate kiss.

"Oh my god, poor Reid." Prentiss said quietly.

The men were barely looking now. Seeing Reid so vulnerable was too hard. Garcia was crying with her head on the table and took the occasional glance at the television. But she had done well to stay in this far.

When he was released from the kiss, finally a sob broke free from his lips. The team looked at each other, brows furrowed. They'd never heard Reid cry before. Not like that.

Jason then speeded up his strokes which caused Reid's head to drop forward again, Reid started gasping and panting. The team all turned away, only glancing back when things seem to go quiet.

"He's taken his fuckin' blind fold off. He's got his face so he can watch his reactions."

The team took a quick glance to see Reid with his held pulled back at a 90 degree angle onto the lap of Jason. A hand was clamped around his forehead.

"**Don't cry". **Jason said, with strange kindness. It gave them all the creeps. Jason seriously speeded up the strokes and Reid was soon tensing up. He cried out as his body took control and Jason silenced his cry with a sickening kiss.

The team sat in shocked silence. The shame in Reid's face was horrific. Tears were in all of the profiler's eyes, Rossi and Hotch included. Jason automatically unhooked the handcuffs and pulled Reid up to standing.

"What's he doing now?" Garcia said, through a hitching cry.

Jason's hands explored Reid's body and then he was slammed on to the bed as Jason ignored his pleas once again. They struggled with each other, but eventually, Reid was chained to the four corners of the bed.

_"Oh Spence. You're so selfish. Why do you deserve all the fun?"_

"No, he can't be serious!" Morgan shouted at the video.

They all flinched as Jason went to unbutton his own pants. They all knew exactly what was coming. So did Reid, he squeezed his eyes shut, but Jason had other ideas.

_"Ah, ah, ah. Oh no you don't. Eyes open Spence." _The knife was, again, produced and at his throat. _"Good."_

"He's talking to him like he's a child." Rossi said, curiously.

_"Open." _

"No, no, no, no! I can't watch this too. He can't do this to my poor baby. Not my poor Reid." Garcia said, tears pouring down her face. Morgan took her into an embrace.

"Hey babygirl. Stay strong for him."

_"Fucking open your mouth!" _Jason screamed in Reid's face and he visibly flinched.

They were all hoping beyond hope that if Reid didn't obey, then Jason would lose interest. But they knew that wasn't going to happen.

_"You're fucking pitiful!" _Jason shouted. Going straight for Reid's mouth, he forced it open with the assistance of the knife.

Then the video stopped. They all turned to see Hotch with the remote in his hand and tears rolling down his face. They were shocked at this.

"I think it goes without saying that none of us need to see that." He wiped at his eyes self-consciously. "I have emotions you know." He said as he glanced around the room at his confused colleagues.

Morgan just nodded in understanding. They had just seen the kid of their team be abused, mentally, physically and sexually all for the sadistic pleasure of one man. It was so needless. That their colleague's life had been destroyed, just so one man could have the kind of sex he enjoyed. In a completely dominant position. Morgan could understand partly what it was like, after his experiences as a child, the feelings of shame and disgust were hugely familiar. But he couldn't understand that. What he had witnessed just then on that tape, would stay with him for a lifetime. To go from one thing with the mental deprecation, to the physical assault, to sexual assault, straight into another sexual assault. He just couldn't imagine what that would be like. His childhood experiences, whilst never enjoyable, they were never downright cruel or sadistic.

Garcia was still gripping tightly onto Morgan, crying into his shoulder.

"How could he do that do him, Morgan?... Why?" She wailed.

Prentiss was staring at the wall, trying to calm her nerves. She had become very protective over Reid. Just like the rest of the team. Her reactions in the hostage situation showed that. But now there was nothing she could do. And it felt shit.

For all of them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ooooh! Next chapter is up! A lot quicker than I expected to be honest ;) Just got on a bit of a roll! Please don't kill me for this chapter. I did say the roller coaster hadn't ended, I do still have some more tricks up my sleeve, and a very VERY emotional chapter coming up (most likely chapter 18). Thank you so much for all of the reviews for my last chapter. I'm so pleased with how much you all liked it, I wasn't sure about it, but since reading your reviews, it has really grown on me. So thanks! You are great confidence builders! Anyway, ENJOY chapter 17!**

**P.S. If you are concerned about how this story is going to progress, there is something of a little spoiler on my profile – at least as to how it won't end anyway. So please, only look if you really really want to.**

They had sat for some time after Hotch had switched off the tape. No one saying a word. There wasn't anything they could say to make any of it better. Watching Reid struggling to keep his body under control at the hands of a sexual sadist was one of the cruellest things they thought they would ever watch. And now it was burned into their memories for an eternity.

Hotch didn't know whether switching off the tape was a good idea. Jason had just thrown Reid down onto the bed and chained him up. Opening his mouth preparing him for another assault, Hotch had switched off the tape. But now, the vision of Jason forcing Reid's mouth open and the not knowing what happened next was swimming round in Hotch's head. As if it was on loop. At least if he'd watched it 'til the end, then they could say he was finished. But now, Hotch felt like Reid was stuck in limbo. As irrational as that sounded.

He shook the thoughts from his head. The only person who had left the room was Garcia. She quickly escaped the heavy mood and retreated to her sanctuary. Seemingly more determined than ever to find Jason and make him pay for what he'd done.

Hotch could only hope she'd found something.

* * *

><p>"Anything that'll help, Garcia?" Hotch entered her office. His eyes were tired and slightly red from the hours of torturous film he had endured over the past 2 days.<p>

"I've been looking into every area of his life and there really is nothing – _but_ I did find something weird."

Hotch's interest piqued.

"What is it?"

"Well I've also been searching for any files that might have been tampered with or encrypted and so far, no such luck. _But_ it's what I've not found that seems to be the important question!"

"What do you mean?" Hotch was getting slightly impatient with Garcia's cryptic clues.

"It appears that some files have been deleted." She turned with a proud smile.

"Deleted? Who would have the power do to that?"

"Well, certainly not a technical analyst." She then lowered her voice. "But if we're talking about the ability... well then, I know three people with the capabilities, one being yours truly, another yours truly's boyfriend and the third, I'm assuming is Jason."

Hotch looked at her shocked.

"You delete FBI records?"

"Hotch, there's a big difference between having the ability to do something and actually doing it."

"But you would actually be able to delete records."

"Given long enough and the inclination to do so, I could write a programme that could hack into the FBI systems undetected for long enough to delete one file, yes." Garcia said quickly. "However, unfortunately for Jason, having that ability, also makes you completely mistrusting of any records you read, and as a result, able to spot when records have been deleted."

"Can you retrieve them?" Hotch said, his face serious. This could just be the breakthrough the team need.

"It'll take a while, I would have to figure out how he accessed the system first, then write my own programme to try and retrieve the files. And of course it would require hacking into the FBI's secure network." She pulled her face, clearly not happy about it.

"Would you be able to go undetected?" Hotch asked.

"In theory, yes. If I know exactly which files I am trying to locate, then I should be able to. But there are no guarantees, I can write the programmes, but this really would be an experiment. Before the FBI caught me, I only used to snoop! Deletion of files is a completely different game. But if Jason did it, then I sure as hell am not gonna be outdone."

"Do it, Garcia. If there is any blame to be had, I will take it. We don't have the time to go through the official channels. How long will it take you?"

"I don't know, anything from thirty minutes to a few hours. I've never done this before." She said typing away already.

"Okay, let me know when you're ready." Hotch clearly had no doubts that she was capable of it. Hotch was already walking out of the room.

"Yes, sir." She said with a little more cheer. Focusing on her work was a coping mechanism for Garcia. In fact, it was for a lot of the team. She loved nothing more than chasing up complicated leads. She had long ago learned how to disconnect the information she saw on her screens from actual people. This is what was so difficult about this case. She couldn't separate the images and the records from Reid and Jason. But she still preferred to be doing what she was doing, sifting through lots of seemingly unimportant information, rather than trying to understand the mind of the man she used to call a friend.

* * *

><p>"How is he?" Morgan sat at the table, an untouched sandwich lay in front of him. The team were all on lunch, except for Garcia. Morgan was speaking on the phone to JJ, shooting looks to the rest of his colleagues as he spoke. Nodding he gave a small hopeful smile. "Well that's something at least... Yeah... Right. Has the psychologist been in to see him yet?" Morgan went quiet again as he listened to JJ's reply. His expression suddenly dropped. "He did what?" The team all glanced at him in surprise and concern. "I am calm!" Morgan snapped slightly. "Yes, it does matter JJ... What they actually said that?" He glanced to Prentiss, shaking his head, clearly not happy about what has been going on. "But he's fine now?... Okay, good... You don't wanna know... No, really, you don't. Look, JJ, I'll speak to you about it later. Okay? Good. See you later."<p>

He rolled his eyes as he flipped his cell phone shut. The eyes of the rest of the team were now on Morgan.

"What's been going on?" Prentiss asked, leaning forwards.

"He's doing okay apparently. He opened up to JJ a little bit so that helped him let out some of his feelings."

"That's good." Prentiss nodded, glad to hear he wasn't completely avoiding his emotions. Which would be typical Reid.

"Not before he tried to escape the ward though. Dr. Marston had to threaten him with being detained for psychological evaluation."

Prentiss just sighed.

"But he's okay now though?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, apparently he's calmed right down. Was even smiling a bit... JJ was thrilled."

"She's got to be careful not to get her hopes up too much though." Prentiss warned, knowingly. "It's going to take a lot more than a few hours for Reid to feel better about all of this."

"You're tellin' me." Morgan quipped.

Hotch entered the room now and sat around the table, another cup of coffee in hand.

"You're turning into Reid." Rossi nodded to the caffeine laced drink.

"Well someone's got to keep the coffee machine busy." Prentiss joked. "But given that Reid's coffees are probably around 60% sugar, it's probably debatable how much coffee he actually drinks." She smiled. "You've probably beaten him already."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Rossi smiled back. Reid was renowned for living on coffee. No wonder he was so skinny.

Hotch completely ignored their light-hearted banter and stepped right in with a question.

"Right, what have we got?... If anything?"

"Nothin'." Morgan said forlornly.

""That's not entirely true. We have heard exactly how Jason spoke to Reid. If we can pick up on certain things then we might be able to figure out what it is he wants." Prentiss said confidently.

"Well he is clearly obsessed with Reid, that much we know. What else?" Hotch asked.

"He seems to have a weird obsession with us too. He really wanted Reid to think that he was alone." Prentiss continued.

"Now I'll tell you something that is strange." Morgan started. "Not once did Jason mention Stephen Thompson. Stephen is supposed to be the reason why Reid was attacked, he was supposed to be Jason's first. If Jason has waited this long to finally fulfill his desires, surely a mention of Stephen would be somewhere... right?"

"There's something else bothering me about all of this." Rossi said. His face looked troubled. The team looked to him, curiously.

"What is it, Dave?" Hotch asked.

"Lewis and Howard... Why did he kill them?"

"Because he was desperate and wanted to get away. I'm sure he knows what happens to guys like him in prison, Rossi."

"No, but no one wants to go to prison. And thousands of people are arrested everyday and most of those arrests go ahead without an issue." The team looked at him confused, he wasn't really making sense.

"What are you getting at, Dave?" Hotch furrowed his brows.

"Lewis and Howard, they're not weak guys. They were armed FBI agents and Jason used a blitz attack to kill them both, without either of them firing a shot. That sort of killing takes practise."

"So you think he's killed before?" Prentiss asked.

"How else would he be capable of killing two FBI agents?"

"But Rossi, he didn't kill Reid. He would have done if murder was his thing. Keeping Reid alive just wouldn't satisfy him enough, you know that." Morgan commented.

"Not if Reid wasn't his desired victim." Rossi said.

"But Dave, Reid clearly was his desired victim. We know that." Hotch corrected him.

"Yes, for the sexual assault. But what if he has an entirely different M.O. for the killings?"

"You can't be serious." Morgan stated in shock.

"So you're thinking that he has two entirely different victimologies? One for his rape fantasy and an entirely different one for murder? Like two different personalities?" Prentiss looked confused.

"No, not different personalities, but two different desires. That would explain why Garcia never found any victims matching Reid's description in blitz attacks. It would also explain why Dave hasn't acted on his rape fantasy until he met Reid. What if the killing took over and satisfied him, but when he met Reid, it reawakened the sexual desires and he had to attack?"

"I've never heard anything like this before, Rossi." Morgan said. "Are you crazy?"

"No. But he has to have learned how to kill people so effectively from somewhere. That was clearly not a first time attack. Their throats were cut with no hesitation. He knew what he was doing. And two mutually exclusive would explain why he didn't kill Reid when he was clearly capable of doing so."

"You do realise, if we run with this Dave and it's taking us in the wrong direction we could do a lot more harm than good." Hotch looked at him sternly. "You have to be sure."

Rossi met his younger superior's gaze.

"I'm not." He shrugged his shoulders. He addressed the rest of the group. "But if you have any other way of explaining the killings then I'd like to hear it."

"He could have practised on guys like Reid." Morgan said.

"No disrespect to Reid, but he's not exactly physically imposing. Lewis and Howard were big guys. Not easy to take down. Killing someone like Reid would not prepare you for that." Rossi suggested.

Prentiss nodded. This was all starting to sound rather logical.

"So what would we be looking for then? Physically imposing males killed in blitz attacks?"

"That would provide thousands of results!" Morgan argued.

Hotch watched all of this through narrowed eyes, not quite sure what to make of the suggestion.

"Essentially, yes. But there will be more to it. The victims will represent someone to him."

"Rossi, you realise how rare this is, don't you?" Morgan said simply.

"Yes. But clearly nothing about this is normal."

They all sat, contemplating Rossi's suggestion when Garcia came rushing into the room.

"I found it!" She said in a hurry. "I got it, I got it!"

"Got what?" Prentiss asked.

"I found Jason's records had been tampered with and a file had been deleted. I managed to hack into the network and restore it so I could take a look at what he was trying to hide."

"Okay Garcia, slow down." Hotch said.

"Sorry, sir." Garcia blushed.

"What was it?" Hotch asked gesturing for her to continue.

"It was his application for the FBI."

"Why would he want to hide that?" Prentiss furrowed her brows.

"No wait, here's the kicker. Initially, he didn't apply for the FBI as a technical analyst. Before he got his job working for the tech division, he applied to be an agent. And guess where for?... None other than the BAU."

"Seriously?" Morgan looked to Hotch.

"When was this?" Hotch asked.

"Eight years ago." She said, pleased with herself. "And guess who's down as having interviewed him?"

"Who?" Hotch asked.

"You are... you failed him on his psych eval."

"Why?" Hotch looked very confused now, how could he not remember that?

"Lack of empathy." She said simply.

"Well that's hardly surprising." Morgan rolled his eyes.

"That's not all, handsome. You're not off the hook either. You took his intake for the physical fitness test."

"I did?" Morgan looked to Hotch, equally confused.

"You also gave him a bad write up, recommending that he would be better suited to office based work. And finally... you can thank me later... the final piece of the puzzle that slots this great big mess together is.. guess who was the next member of the team to be taken on?"

"Reid." Prentiss nodded. It was all starting to make sense now.

"Bingo." Garcia said, obviously very pleased with her deductions.

"Good work, Garcia." Hotch nodded to her. "This changes everything."

"How?" Garcia asked, curiously.

"It tells us what he wants." Morgan explained.

"He wants the team to suffer." Hotch continued. "By taking Reid, attacking him, then leaving the tapes for us to find, he's telling us that he's smarter than us, and much more capable. He's enjoying the game."

"By killing two of our agents and escaping, he's keeping us on our toes." Rossi added.

"But there's clearly a connection there from him to Reid. It's obviously not just about us. Or he would have taken great delight in killing him right in front of us." Morgan questioned.

"And he will. He will eventually devolve and the two will merge into one. If he's allowed to get near Reid this time-"

"He won't." Morgan said angrily.

"IF he did." Rossi kept ploughing away. "We wouldn't get him back this time. He would almost certainly kill him. The desire to kill is obviously getting stronger and eventually he wouldn't be able to help himself."

"So you think he's killed before?" Garcia asked Rossi.

"I'm sure of it. And now we have our victim type." Rossi nodded.

"Successful males of a similar age to Jason, in a powerful job and with great influence. Physically fit and imposing, intelligent, either black or white." Prentiss reeled off the information.

"That's gonna bring up a lot of results." Garcia said, eyes wide open.

"Look only in the last 8 years. Start your search in D.C. then move it with Jason to Virginia in the last two years whilst he's been with the BAU. His rejection from the FBI must have been the push he needed to start killing." Hotch explained.

"Look for similar blitz attacks. Where victims were quickly incapacitated. Most likely with a knife." Prentiss continued.

"On it!" Garcia said, rushing quickly out of the room.

"If this is our profile, then it changes everything. Jason wanted us to find him, otherwise it was all pointless." Hotch looked to the team, clearly wanting a discussion.

"And he's not going to just disappear. That's not why he escaped. It's not about avoiding prison. It's about making us suffer." Rossi added.

"Every time he challenges us, he wins. He's getting a power trip out of this." Morgan said, his voice was clearly irritated.

"But guys, what would make us feel more powerless than anything?" Prentiss said, knowingly.

"If Reid was taken a second time." Hotch said, his eyes wide open.

"Is JJ with him?" Morgan asked quickly.

"As far as I know." Prentiss said unsurely.

"Reid is in real danger." Morgan said angrily.

"But he has protective officers outside his room." Prentiss said. "How would he get near him?... He couldn't, surely."

"Well he was surrounded by five FBI agents and Jason still found his way in." Morgan snapped.

"He's clever." Hotch said. "Cleverer than we've given him credit for. Reid isn't safe with anyone other than us. We need to get to the hospital."

"But are you guys safe?" Prentiss said, looking to Hotch and Morgan. "If he's been taking out his violence on surrogates for so long, surely it's only a matter of time before he comes after the real source of his rage. What if he's trying to draw you out into the open?"

"Emily's right." Rossi said. "You two are not safe either. Until we find out which one of you he is taking out his anger on, you should both lie low."

"No Rossi. Not a chance, man. If Reid's in danger, then I'm gonna be there by his side. Twenty-four seven. That bastards not gonna lay another finger on him. Not while I'm around."

"Well that's something we both agree on." Rossi said.

"We haven't got the time to be worrying about our safety right now. If Jason uses blitz attacks then we are most likely safe with you around. First and foremost, we need to get to the hospital."

"JJ's not answering her phone." Prentiss said.

"That's because I'm here." JJ said with a smile, entering the room. She looked around the room at all of the concerned faces. "What's happened?"

"Is Reid on his own?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah... but the officers are still outside." Hotch nodded, grabbing his cell phone.

"We need to get back to the hospital. _Now._"

* * *

><p>Reid sat staring at the wall as he had since JJ left. As much as he hated to admit it after the way he'd behaved with the team earlier, he felt pangs of loneliness. But as he thought about them poking and prodding into his experiences, the irritation rose again and he found himself once again grateful that he did have some time to himself. Even though he had opened up to JJ a little. He still felt irritated by their intrusions into his life and feelings. This time to himself was important for him to deal with things. Once he got out of hospital, he knew those moments would be a rarity.<p>

Reid could suddenly hear voices outside of his door, they were muted tones and he couldn't tell what they were saying. But they were clearly debating something. He could tell by the intonations and the gaps in the speech. After a good minute of trying to figure out whether it was anything to do with him, there was a knock on his door and it opened. Dr. Marston stood in the doorway with a young boy, around the age of 10. A look of confusion crossed Reid's face. He could have sworn he heard at least three voices, two of them male. But now there was no sign. A frown graced his features for a few short moments.

"Dr. Reid." He looked to Dr. Marston and raised his eyebrows in response. "This little boy says that he is your cousin. Is that correct?"

Reid's brows furrowed and he looked at the boy. He didn't have a cousin.

"I'm your cousin Jason... remember?" The boy said with a knowing nod.

Immediately, Reid recognised the hidden message. He stared at the boy for a few more seconds as his brain kicked into action.

A smile clumsily graced his face.

"Oh! Cousin Jason! I haven't seen you for years! Last time I saw you... you were like, six." Reid smiled. "I'm surprised you even remember me!..." He gestured for the boy to move towards him.

Dr. Marston looked satisfied enough. It had taken her a good few minutes for the police guards to even allow the child near the room, let alone inside.

"I'll leave you two alone." She smiled. Closing the door behind her.

Reid looked at the child, his eyes wide and expectant. The child merely smiled and placed an envelope onto the bed. Reid looked down, his face tensed as he saw SPENCE scrawled on the front in big black capital letters.

"I was told to bring this to you and pretend to be your cousin Jason." Was all he said.

Reid just stared at the letter.

"The... the person... who gave you this. What was he like?"

The boy looked thoughtful for a few moments.

"He was big, black hair, it was really long! He had a big beard too! He didn't look very nice but he was really friendly. He gave me ten dollars."

That didn't sound like Jason.

"Where was he?"

"He was outside the hospital, I sometimes play football on the field at the side. I always get told off by my Mom but I get bored!... Are you an FBI agent! Is it true? He said I'd meet an FBI agent if I came up here!"

Reid furrowed his brows unable to pull his gaze away from the letter that was begging to be opened. But fear stayed his hand.

"Hello?" The kid said, getting on Reid's nerves a little bit now. "Are you an FBI agent or what?"

Irritated, Reid shot his gaze up to the child.

"No. I'm not. Now go home to your mother."

The boy looked offended. He huffed walking towards the door.

"Prick." He said under his breath.

Reid's eyebrows twitched in surprise at the boy's use of the word. He watched the boy open the door and leave.

Reid picked up the envelope, his hands shaking now. Could this really be from Jason? The team had arrested him. He had seen it with his own eyes.

Turning the envelope over, he stroked a finger across the sealed flap thoughtfully. Curiosity eventually got the better of him.

He pushed his finger under the corner of the flap and pulled it across, breaking the seal. He quickly pulled out the letter before he had any second thoughts and opened it. Thick black handwriting met his eyes.

"_SPENCE,_

_If you and your team thought you were going to get rid of me that easily, you were very much mistaken. I have killed Agents Lewis and Howard... didn't your team tell you? They seem to be making a habit of that Spencer._

_I will be coming to pick you up from the car park outside the ER at 2pm. Be there. Or I can assure you, Agent Morgan will be receiving a rather nasty visitor tonight. _

_There are two armed police officers outside your room. Make sure they don't see you._

_Jay."_

Reid stared at the letter in shock. He felt sick. He looked at the clock. 2pm. That was twenty minutes away. He had _killed_ Lewis and Howard? His hands started shaking again. He was going to kill Morgan? Or worse... No. He wouldn't do that. Reid knew he was Jason's type, Morgan wasn't. But regardless, could Reid really take that risk? If Jason had killed Lewis and Howard, they were strong men. As a pair they were much stronger than Morgan. And if Morgan was caught off guard by himself, he wouldn't stand a chance.

He sat in bed, considering his current position. There were two officers outside his room? And the team hadn't told him that Jason had escaped. Why would they keep that from him? He instantly felt angry. JJ had just sat with him, knowing full well that Jason was free . He had put his trust in her and she had lied to him, again.

Reid looked to his cell phone on the table. Should he call the team? They would come over and he could tell them exactly what has happened. But then Jason would disappear. And like the Reaper, he might come back to finish what he started. No. Reid couldn't take that risk. If it was only his life hanging in the balance, it's a chance he would take. But he wouldn't play god with Morgan's life.

No. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

><p>The team entered the ward in a complete hurry. Dr. Marston was stood at the nurse's station, her attention was attracted the second they ran in. Morgan went straight to Reid's door and burst into his room.<p>

"He's not here." She heard him say.

"Reid! Are you in the bathroom?" Prentiss was asking, knocking on the door. The team were obviously panicked. Prentiss pushed open the door to the bathroom only to find the room empty. "He's gone." Prentiss turned, her eyes wide open with fear.

Hotch looked at the room, the distress evident on his face.

"Where the hell is he?" Morgan shouted at the armed officers.

"What do you mean?" The older of the two asked.

Morgan grabbed him around the back of the neck and shoved him into the room.

"Morgan." Hotch warned.

"What the hell do you think I mean? He's not here! Where is he?"

The man looked completely shocked. So did his colleague. He stuttered.

"W – what? That- he- I don't understand. He was there literally ten minutes ago!" He turned to the doctor who was now stood outside the room. A look of shock plastered on her face also. "Wasn't he? You spoke to him!"

"Erm, yes." She said, her voice shaking.

JJ was pacing up and down the corridors, completely distraught. They had only just got him back, how could he be gone again?

"Well why isn't he here now?" Morgan snapped, the irritation clear in his voice. "You guys are supposed to be taking care of him!"

"I don't understand it. How has this happened?" She said in shock.

"Clearly people haven't been doing their jobs properly." Rossi said, uncharacteristically.

"That's not helpful." Hotch said plainly. "You saw him ten minutes ago?"

"Yes." Dr. Marston answered, her face dropped all of a sudden. "Oh no."

"What?" Hotch said, unnerved.

She looked to the officers and then back to Hotch.

"A small boy came into the ward asking to see him. He claimed to be Dr. Reid's cousin."

"Reid doesn't have a cousin." Morgan said sternly.

"Oh my god, I should have known." The doctor put her hand up to her head, distressed.

"What exactly did he say?" Rossi asked.

"He said that he was his cousin, Jason."

"Jason! Damn it Hotch!" Morgan snapped, hitting the door.

"Did he say anything else?"

"No. Dr. Reid looked a bit confused at first. But then he seemed to recognise the boy and said he hadn't seen him since he was about six."

"Well he would pretend that wouldn't he?" Prentiss said.

"The question is, what the hell did the boy want?" Morgan snapped again.

JJ was frantically looking around Reid's room now for any clues as to where he might have gone. She lifted up Reid's pillow and found an envelope.

"Guys." She held it up, showing them the envelope marked with thick black letters. Clearly addressed to their young colleague.

She opened it and read it aloud, quickly. The team paled.

"...I will be coming to pick you up from the car park outside the ER at 2pm. Be there. Or I can assure you, Agent Morgan will be receiving a rather nasty visitor tonight." She looked to Morgan, who was horrified.

Rossi and Prentiss automatically nodded to each other and left the ward, clearly going to the E.R. entrance in vain hope that they might catch up with them.

"Oh my god, please do not tell me he's taken himself to Jason to protect me." Morgan was distraught. Tears started welling up in his eyes. He thought he'd kill Reid himself if he got chance. "How could he be so stupid?"

"He did what he thought was right, Morgan." Hotch said quietly. This was deeply affecting him also, but he really needed to keep his head.

"How the hell could you let him out of here? You were stood outside the door." JJ snapped at the officers.

"The kid. He distracted us, only for a few moments. But it must have been all it took." The younger officer said. Pulling a face showing he was desperately sorry.

"And you!" Morgan turned to the doctor. "You knew the sort of danger he was in. How the hell could you let him just walk out of here? He's not exactly easy to miss! He's just had surgery on his leg for god's sake!"

"Agent Morgan. I do have other patients. I have done my best by Dr. Reid and I have done everything within my power to keep him safe."

"Well it wasn't enough was it?" He snapped back.

"Morgan!" Hotch warned again, but he was ignored.

"Look, Agents, like it or not, Dr. Reid has left here of his own accord. There is a reason why no one saw him go – because that's how he wanted it. You can blame me, or the officers all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that the decision to leave was made by him. I have done all I can for Dr. Reid, I have already stopped him from leaving the hospital once today and I must confess, he has not been my easiest patient. But he is also not my only patient. I understand that this is hard for you, I really do. But I cannot focus all of my attention on one patient. As much as I would like to."

Morgan huffed in a mood. He knew the doctor was right. He just didn't like to admit it.

"We understand." Hotch nodded. "It's just a lot to take in right now."

Dr. Marston's expression softened.

"I know. I can't imagine what you are going through. I only met Dr. Reid earlier today and I already understand what kind of a person he is. He's clearly a kind and gentle character and to think about what has happened to him is devastating." She looked to Morgan now. "But shouting at me, the officers and everyone around you isn't going to bring him back, is it? You need to focus on what you do best."

Morgan nodded, desperately trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down his face.

"How did he know where he was? And that there were armed officers outside his room?" JJ asked, her brows furrowed in troubled confusion.

"He must have been in here." Hotch said slowly.

"But the officers would have recognised him, surely." JJ looked to them and they both nodded.

"Definitely." The younger one said.

"There has been no sign of him on this ward." The older man added.

"Dr. Marston, I'm going to need you to think of anyone unusual who has come into the ward today. Someone who looked out of place, who may have shown some interest in why the officers were there, or generally someone who fit into the normal routine of the hospital but you didn't know. A face you hadn't seen before. Can you recall anyone like that?"

She thought back to her day in the hospital, it had been incredibly busy and she had come across many different faces, some familiar, some entirely new – but no one stood out to her.

"Don't just think about visitors. Jason is clever, he could have masked himself as an employee. Were there any new faces you saw working today who you haven't seen before?" Hotch kept pressing.

Prentiss and Rossi returned at this moment.

"No sign." She sighed. Exhausted by the whole thing. "He's obviously long gone."

"I can't think of anyone. Sorry." The Dr. Marston looked apologetically to the team. She really wished she could help.

"Was worth a shot." Morgan patted Hotch on the back and then turned to the bed, looking for any clues that might help.

"Wait." Dr. Marston said suddenly. "There was an orderly! He came to collect some blood samples. He was definitely a new face. I hadn't seen him before. I assumed he was a new employee. He kept glancing over to Dr. Reid's room. I just figured he was familiarising himself with the hospital. Plus, he wasn't the only one to stare at the police. Pretty much everyone who has been through here today has either looked or commented on it."

"What did he look like?" Hotch said. Hopeful that this was Jason.

"He was tall. It was his appearance that surprised me actually. He was quite unkempt and I didn't think it was right that someone working in a hospital should look so messy. He had long black hair and a black beard."

"What?" JJ said suddenly. The colour had drained from her face.

"What's wrong?" Hotch asked.

"Oh my god. I saw him." She whispered in shock.

"What do you mean you saw him? JJ what the hell are you talking about?" Morgan grabbed her by the arms, turning her so she was looking straight at him.

"When I was coming into the ward earlier to see Spence. I- I walked into this guy by accident. He had a black beard and long hair. Oh my god, that was him. That was him and I let him go."

"JJ we don't know that." Prentiss said reassuringly.

"No. It was him. I just know it."

"Did he speak to you at all?" Rossi said.

"Erm, yeah. He said something like, 'it's my fault' or something because I apologised for walking into him and he told me not to. He smiled right at me and I looked him straight in the eye! Oh my god how can I have been so stupid?"

"JJ you weren't to know." Prentiss took her friend into a hug as she broke down.

"You looked him in the eye?" Morgan said, his voice dangerously low.

JJ just cried harder. Prentiss shook her head at him trying to advise him to stop.

"No Emily! This is not right. We can't keep making excuses for letting him down. We've let this guy get round us twice now!"

Nurses and patients were starting to look into the room.

"Derek. This is neither the time or the place." Rossi said gently.

"I don't fucking care! When the hell are people gonna start opening their eyes and looking out for the kid? We all say we care, but then we sit back and let him walk back into the hands of the guy who raped him! Knowing damn fine that Jason would be doing all he could to get Reid back into his grasp."

"I know it's my fault! Alright Morgan! I'm sorry!.. If anything happens to him..." JJ couldn't finish that sentence.

"Yeah, JJ. It is your fault! How the hell could you look him in the eye!"

"We don't even know it was him Morgan." Hotch said seriously.

"Yes we do Hotch. We do know. Deep down, we fucking know."

"Agent, I'm going to have to ask you to keep your voice down. Your language is upsetting some of my patients." Dr. Marston said, glancing around.

Morgan just rolled his eyes in an irritated manner and stormed out of the ward.

"Sorry. He's not normally like that." Prentiss said. She turned to the team. "We need to get back to the BAU and figure out where he might have taken Reid."

"Again." Rossi added in a frustrated tone. They couldn't believe this was happening again.

"I really hope you find him." Dr. Marston said sympathetically.

"So do we." Rossi nodded his thanks to her. He turned to Hotch. "You ready Aaron?" He was just staring into space. "Aaron?" He nudged him on the arm and Hotch shook himself, like he'd woken from deep slumber. He looked at Rossi confused. "You ready? To go back to the BAU."

"Oh... yeah." Hotch said quietly. He furrowed his brows and turned towards the door.

Rossi turned to JJ and Prentiss.

"You two go on ahead. We'll meet you out there in a minute." JJ and Prentiss acquiesced to his request. Rossi waited for them to leave the ward before turning to Hotch. "Aaron. Are you okay?"

Hotch turned to the older man. His eyes were tearing up slightly.

"I don't know how he's going to do this again, Dave." Rossi furrowed his brows and dropped his gaze. He had been thinking the same. "After what Jason has done to him already, I just don't know if he'll cope with that again. I don't think he will."

"He has no choice." Rossi said simply. "If he wants to survive, he will pull through."

Hotch shook his head.

"He's only been safe a few hours. We barely even rescued him and Jason already has him back. What does that say about us, Dave? Reid said to me once, if we can't even keep each other safe then what's the point in any of this? And I'm starting to think he was right."

"You can't give up, Aaron." Rossi put his hand on Hotch's shoulder.

"Out of all the people I've met in my life. The person who deserves this the least is Reid. And the person who wouldn't cope well with it, is Reid. He doesn't deal with things emotionally. He won't understand any of this, he won't know how to deal with it, and he's being forced to cope with sexual acts he's probably never even thought about, never mind participated in. He's too innocent for this. It'll destroy him."

Rossi felt a slight pang of irritation.

"He's not a child, Aaron. He's 29 years old. I know he doesn't deal with things like other people do, but that doesn't mean that he won't deal with it at all. He has been exposed to a lot over the years through his work. He's not completely shielded from the world, you know."

Hotch simply looked at Rossi. Did the man not know Reid at all?

"So how many relationships do you think Reid has been in, Dave?"

Rossi furrowed his brows.

"God, I don't know. And I would never think to ask! What he gets up to in his private life is his business."

Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"What does your gut tell you?"

Rossi ran a hand down his face, not comfortable with this conversation.

"I really don't know. I like to think I know him well, but that aspect of his life, I have no idea! I don't even know of any relationships."

"Then you know all there is to know then."

Rossi looked to Hotch, shocked all of a sudden.

"You can't be serious."

"I thought you knew, Dave." Hotch replied, his face deadly serious.

"Well no! I knew he was no Morgan, but I always assumed that there would at least be someone at some point. He's 29! How does he cope?" Rossi looked concerned, he couldn't imagine never having been in a proper relationship by the age of 29. Never having been intimate with someone.

"That's just it, Dave. That's what I mean. I don't even think it's something he thinks about. He's just not programmed in that way. The idea of being intimate with someone is probably more likely to freak him out than excite him."

Rossi just stared at the floor in disbelief.

"So, Jason... was his... his first time?" Hotch's jaw set. He nodded sternly. Rossi looked hard at Hotch. He now knew exactly what the man meant. Reid wasn't going to deal with this well. He wouldn't cope with it, and he certainly didn't deserve it. "We have to stay strong." Rossi said. Hotch noticed Rossi was no longer disagreeing with him.

"I know, Dave. But I can't believe we've lost him again. And you know what you said earlier. Reid won't survive this a second time. Jason is devolving and eventually when he's taken all he wants from Reid, he'll kill him. And we have no idea where he is... The thought of him dying in there, with him, after being used like a... like a... sex toy for his final hours, it just sickens me."

Rossi flinched at that. The more he thought about the situation, the more it bothered him. Reid was the most inappropriate person for Jason to have targeted. Hotch was right, there wasn't a remotely sexual bone in Reid's body. And that's probably what Jason preyed on. A youthful innocence that really shouldn't be present in someone of Reid's age, but was. Rossi had never considered it before, always putting the utmost importance on respecting Reid as an equal. But the very fact he overcompensated for that just showed, deep down, how Rossi viewed Reid. He was young, and he was innocent.

Rossi kicked himself for not placing more importance on protecting the young man. The only time he had done that was in Vegas when he was gunning for his father. The one time Rossi felt the need to protect Reid was during the hypnotherapy session. At which point he did realise, Reid's mind, however brilliant, lacked the ability to deal with emotions. He dealt in logic and facts, emotions later, If ever. The fact he had been angry at his father for so long demonstrated that. Reid would avoid emotions at all costs. He didn't understand them, and he didn't like things he couldn't quantify or explain with scientific jargon. Although, he often attempted to.

Realising that he had sent himself into a contemplative state, Rossi shook the disturbing thoughts away and looked to his younger superior who was in a similar position.

Rossi grabbed Hotch's upper arm supportively.

"Come on, Aaron. Covering old ground is doing us no good."

Hotch merely nodded and followed Rossi out of Reid's hospital room. Taking a glance back over his shoulder as he left. Wishing that his young colleague was still there.

* * *

><p>Reid found himself stood in the middle of a room. Very similar to the room he had been kept in originally. But this time, his wrists were secured to a chain from the ceiling, keeping him stood upright in his already tired state.<p>

His head was woozy. He just remembered going outside to the car park and everything went blank. Did he get in the car himself? Did he get knocked out? Surely someone would have seen him if Jason had attacked him in public. He must have gotten into the car himself.

He jumped suddenly as two arms wrapped around him from behind, squeezing him tightly.

"Oh Spence." He moved his way around Reid. Reid clumsily looked up through his hair. His wrists ached and his hands were sore, protesting against behind help up by the chains. "I can't believe you're back here with me."

Reid's face twitched as Jason's hand came up to trace his jaw line and then his lips.

Suddenly the fog cleared from his mind and his head lifted to find Jason staring right back at him. His heart did a little jump as the adrenaline shot through his veins. He didn't know if he could do this again.

Reid then looked to Jason's shoulder. He clearly hadn't had his gun shot wound properly seen to. Hoping that Jason might understand his pain a little more, Reid risked a question.

"Will you let me down, please? It hurts." He didn't really have to say what or where 'it' was. Jason could tell by looking at him that his body was in no fit state for punishment.

He smiled again ignoring his request, leaning close up to Reid's face.

"You came back to see me... You know why?"

Reid's now hard eyes just stared at his captor. Not really caring if he gave him the answer to his question or not.

The next thing Reid knew, Jason's hands were wrapped around his face and he was being pulled into a sloppy kiss. He squeezed his eyes shut but a hard fist to the stomach brought his attentions back. He breathed in much needed air and Jason took the opportunity to explore his mouth once again with his tongue. Jason's hands were everywhere and Reid found himself trying to pull himself away. He didn't know how he felt more vulnerable, strapped to the bed, or like this. Jason finally released Reid from the kiss and ran a hand up the back of his hospital gown, unfastening the ties.

"You came back to me because of the pleasure you felt last time, didn't you?"

"No!" Reid was then pulled close to Jason. Jason's wet lips rested on Reid's cheek, allowing him to whisper in his victims' ear.

"How did it feel, Spence? How did it feel to orgasm in my hand?"

Reid couldn't answer. He still felt far too ashamed to even argue.

Jason's hand reached down between his legs and Reid jumped at the touch, gasping and Jason once again groped all over his body.

"Please, Jason. You don't have to do this. You have an opportunity to ge- Ah!" He cried out as the man ran his hands down his front and then took hold of his most personal area.

"What's that you're saying, Spence?" Jason smiled. His hand started stroking quickly. "Keep talking to me."

Reid simply gasped and shook his head. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, as once again, his ex-friend forced his body into an arousal clouded state.

"Talk to me." Jason said.

"Jase-" Reid was cut off by fast powerful strokes, he moaned slightly. Going completely red as he realised.

"Keep talking." Jason whispered. Reid knew he just wanted to hear the arousal in his voice. He couldn't believe this was happening again. He'd only just gotten away from Jason and now he was straight back with him again. "Talk to me." Jason said, commandingly.

"I- I can't... I can-, ah!" Reid once again was cut off with speeded up strokes. Reid's head dropped forwards and Jason took it onto his shoulder. Although a lot of Reid's weight was being supported by his wrists, from the ceiling. Reid's legs were still giving way with the combination of arousal and self-disgust. The more Jason pumped away, the more Reid leaned into the man. A thin sheen of sweat covered his victim's body and he breathed heavily as his body drew near it's climax.

Jason suddenly pulled his hand away, pushing Reid's face up so he could look into his eyes, chin rested in his palm.

"You want a treat, Spence?... I'll let this..." He licked his face, Reid tried to turn away to no avail. "Finish you off."

Reid started shaking his head, he didn't stop.

"No, Jason. Oh god." He rasped out, feeling absolutely helpless as the man got to his knees. It didn't take long for Reid to finish, he cried out in a combination of arousal and distress.

"You know what, Spence? …..I'm not sure I've forgiven you for shooting me earlier." Jason slowly stood up and stalked around Reid like he was prey. He then rested his head on the young man's shoulder so he could whisper into his ear. His hands running down Reid's chest. Reid squirmed uncomfortably. "So in return, you're gonna let me make the most of you this time." He moved round again so he was facing his victim. He breathed onto Reid's sweaty face, staring directly into Reid's hate and shamed filled eyes . "I think we both know now, neither of us are walking away from this." Reid looked at him, slightly surprised. "I'm gonna destroy you... And when I'm done, I'm gonna kill you."


	17. Chapter 17

**Apologies for the long wait for this chapter. Unfortunately life got in the way somewhat! I also have this thing now that I have been writing ridiculously long chapters, I won't post anything less than 16 pages. This chapter is 18 pages. Whilst it makes me feel better about keeping you waiting so long, it's also a reason why you are kept waiting. Anyway! Thanks for your reviews, as usual. Apologies for putting Reid back in this situation, naughty me. This is a pretty intense chapter. The very emotional chapter however, might just be left til chapter 19 now as the story hasn't quite panned out the way I figured it would.**

**This chapter is pretty slow moving, particularly on the team front, but deals with a lot of the emotional issues and the relationships within the team so hopefully you will enjoy it anyway. Thank you for all of your reviews/lurking! Please keep it up :) I have a week off next week so hoping some get some real juicy chapters written, muhahahaha. ENJOY!**

Garcia paced around the conference room, nervously awaiting a response from the team. They hadn't called to let her know what was happening, and this set her on edge. A knock at the door made her jump. Strauss stood in the doorway, a frown upon her face.

"Is there a problem?" She asked simply. Her brows furrowed seriously at the technical analyst in front of her. "Only you have been walking the length of this room and back again for the last twenty minutes and to be quite frank, it's making me dizzy." She said sharply.

Garcia sheepishly cleared her throat, Strauss always made her nervous. It didn't help that she was nervous already.

"Sorry, ma'am..." She was still pacing. Suddenly realising, she consciously stopped, nodding as she reprimanded herself. "I'm just waiting to hear from the team."

"Do you not have any work you should be doing?" Strauss asked, coldly.

Garcia took a sharp intake of breath. She didn't know whether she should mention the latest developments. Strauss was never going to take it well. Mentally preparing herself, she fumbled with her words for a few moments as Strauss eyed her impatiently.

Garcia almost jumped for joy as the team walked through the door, diverting Strauss' attention away from her. But any relief she felt was short lived when she saw their expressions. She felt the blood drain from her face.

"What's happened?" She said quickly, her face showing the panic her body surely felt.

Morgan banged his hand against the wall, making Garcia jump.

"Damn it!" He shouted in frustration, as if Garcia's question had reminded him of something he'd rather forget.

"Agent Morgan!" Strauss moved towards her subordinate but was stopped dead in her tracks by a warning look from Hotch. The look he gave her told her everything she needed to know. Something was terribly wrong.

"What happened?" Garcia asked again, her eyes filling up with tears of frustration.

"He's gone." Prentiss answered, looking Garcia straight in the eye. In response, Garcia gasped and let out a little sob.

"Who's gone?" Strauss asked, her eyes lacking the care that they really required in this moment.

"Reid!... Reid's gone, Erin." Rossi snapped. "Again!"

Strauss' eyes flashed angrily.

"What? What the hell do you mean, he's 'gone'?" She looked between the team members. JJ was sat down with her head in her hands, Prentiss was sat next to her. Her face was tired and depressed. Morgan was pacing the room like a caged animal. He was clearly waiting for someone to say the wrong thing. Rossi was trying to maintain a calm façade but his fidgety mannerisms gave him away. Hotch just stood, calmly meeting Strauss' gaze. But his hand covered his mouth, as it often did when he was stressed.

"Jason took him from the hospital." Hotch said, his gaze unflinching.

"No, no, no! This isn't happening!" Garcia said, grabbing her face with her hands in distress.

"What?" Strauss questioned furiously.

"No Hotch! I think what you mean, is Reid took _himself_from the hospital and handed _himself_ to Jason." Morgan corrected him, the venom was clear in his voice. He was so angry with Reid at that moment.

"Only to protect you!" JJ countered, remembering how vicious Morgan had been at the hospital with her.

Morgan looked wounded for a few moments, but quickly recovered.

"Yeah, you're right JJ. This is all on me! 'Cause I bumped into the guy, looked him straight in the eye and let him walk off down the corridor, leaving him free to kidnap Reid again!" He spat. "That was _all_ me!"

"How dare you." JJ said dangerously. "I was the one at the hospital taking care of him, making sure he stayed put and got the treatment he needed, whilst you were sat here pretending that you were watching him being assaulted out of some ridiculous form of loyalty!"

"Pretending?" Morgan hissed. "You think that's what I was doing?"

"Well I don't see how watching Reid's most personal and private moments of desperation and pain can be viewed as loyal!"

Morgan moved dangerously towards JJ, his whole body filled with tension. Garcia was pacing the room again in desperation, not comfortable with the argument that was rising. The rest of the team wanted to jump in, but they were both retorting so quickly that whenever anyone tried to cut in, they were automatically silenced.

Strauss just watched the team, curiously. They were clearly falling apart. And it genuinely concerned her.

"Don't even go there, JJ. Don't even bring loyalty into this! I'm not the one who lied to the team for months about a friend's death." Prentiss winced. She wondered when this stone would be over turned again. "Cried fake tears as we buried a fake body and shared fake grief with fake stories and fake thoughts. Don't even go there." He warned.

"What? As opposed to pretending that watching that film was to help Reid? Y**ou **Morgan, you're his best friend, you shouldn't have been able to watch that. What did you get from it? Did it soothe your conscience? Make you feel like you'd done more?" JJ was practically screaming at Morgan now. She really didn't feel she deserved this.

"This is all your fault, JJ!" He shouted as he banged his fist hard on the table. "All your god damn fault! If you had just stayed in the fuckin' job you were in, instead of becoming some sort of 'rookie' profiler, messing around in things you don't understand maybe someone else would have been at that hospital instead. Someone who knew what they were looking for. Someone who knew what they were doing!"

"Morgan, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Hotch ordered, cutting completely through Morgan's rant. Morgan's eye flashed up at Hotch, the irritation evident. "Take a walk." Morgan shot him a warning look, shaking his head. He looked just about ready to take anyone's head off, given the chance. Hotch wasn't deterred. "Take a walk, NOW." Hotch's eyes weren't warning, they were promising. 'You disagree with me, and you won't work again'.

Relenting, Morgan finally sighed, his face still angry and tense. But resigned to the fact that this wasn't an argument he would win. He turned on his heel and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

The silent tension that JJ had held in her body as Morgan was reprimanded, suddenly broke down, as did she. Tears started coming afresh as she shook and wept as the harshness of his words set in. Prentiss wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a comforting hug.

"He didn't mean it." Prentiss said reassuringly. "Any more than you meant what you said." She rubbed her friend's back soothingly.

Strauss looked around the room, completely frustrated with the whole situation. She had never been in a more unprofessional environment in all her life.

"Aaron, a word" She looked to the Unit Chief and gestured to the door. She wanted a private word. This was never good.

Sighing, clearly not in the mood for the woman's judgements, he followed her, shooting Rossi an irritated look as he moved past. The older man simply raised his eyebrows. A small warning, trying to get Hotch to keep his head.

Rossi looked to Prentiss, concerned about Hotch's reaction. Hotch had been through more than most in recent years and shouldering the responsibilities of a team that apparently couldn't keep themselves safe for longer than two months was a strain that was starting to tell on Hotch's appearance and attitude. The man simply didn't cope like he used to. Prentiss answered Rossi's gaze with a small smile. The type of smile that read 'I don't know what to do either'.

* * *

><p>Strauss led Hotch out of the conference room and into his office. He followed behind her, uncharacteristically submissive. He closed the door as he entered, waiting patiently for her to turn around and meet his gaze. He watched as she took a deep breath, her chest expanded out and up, then dropped down as she huffed the breath back out again. Whirling round, her arms folded sternly, her eyes blazed angrily at Hotch. His lips constricted into a tight, tense line.<p>

"What the hell is going on, Aaron?" She asked angrily, not giving him chance to answer. "Your team, in a matter of two days, has managed to lose someone, not once but twice. And I also gather Dr. Reid was endangered by the armed men who broke into the offices yesterday too! As a result of your team, two of my staff are dead, a third is missing, presumably out of action when – indeed if – he returns to work. The one team that has the capacity and the staffing levels to fully function is tearing each other apart and I'm trying to find out where the blame lies. And once again Aaron, I find myself in a room with you, describing the multiple failures of the team you are supposed to be managing." She stood, staring hard at the man. Waiting for some sort of reaction. He gave her little.

"I know." He said simply. His eyes tired. "I know how this looks." His voice had no force or conviction behind it.

"I really don't think you do, Aaron. Do you realise how ridiculous this whole thing sounds? You are top FBI profilers. Supposedly some of the greatest minds in the country. And you have been outwitted by someone who has worked alongside you for the last two years. How on earth do you expect to be trusted with cases if you cannot recognise a psychopath when they are right in front of your eyes."

"With all due respect, Erin, _we_ didn't work alongside Jason. Garcia was the one who knew him fairly well and she is not a profiler. She cannot be expected to make such connections." Hotch argued gently but firmly. "Clearly Lewis and Howard saw no reason not to trust him either."

"Clearly." Strauss replied dryly. "And I will be dealing with that team in due course." Hotch drew his gaze away from Strauss for a few moments. Not quite believing that she would punish a grieving team for mistakes that could not be undone. "So Dr. Reid is gone again." She said with a coldly amused tone in her voice. "Care to explain to me how this came about?"

Hotch went to sit down. He was struggling with this. He wanted to be hunting for Jason. To be trying to find Reid. Not having to explain himself to his boss. That was the least of his priorities.

"Jason managed to get into the hospital. He disguised himself as an orderly and managed to get a note into Reid, threatening Agent Morgan's life if he refused to meet him outside."

"And Dr. Reid went willingly?"

"Willingly isn't the word I would use, no." Hotch said in a clipped tone.

"But he chose to leave the hospital of his own accord?" Strauss asked quickly.

"Yes." Hotch replied simply. A slight sigh in his voice.

"Well, that says it all doesn't it." Strauss retorted.

"What exactly does it say?" Hotch asked, trying his best not to get frustrated with the woman.

"Dr. Reid is a long standing member of this team. He understands how it works, the capabilities of each team member and the limitations of the team also. Is this fair to say?" It sounded like Hotch was on trial.

"Yes." He answered, the word hung in the air like an unanswered question.

"Well clearly, with all of the knowledge and understanding Dr. Reid has of your team, he still felt it necessary to hand himself back to a sexual predator rather than trust in the team to protect the life of Agent Morgan."

"No." Hotch tried to intervene.

"Doesn't exactly suggest that he trusts you, does it?" Strauss raised an eyebrow, knowing she had backed Hotch into a corner somewhat. She also knew that Hotch was far from himself today. Usually he would have tied her up in knots.

"He was very distressed, he wasn't thinking straight." Hotch said, trying to defend his team.

"I think he was thinking perfectly straight. I don't see any reason why he should trust your team." Strauss said coolly. This angered Hotch now.

"We have done everything in our power to keep Reid safe-" But he was cut off again. Strauss was clearly dominating this conversation.

"But you haven't Aaron. Clearly. Or he would still be here." She walked over to the window and stared through the blinds into the bull pen. Her back turned to Hotch. "No. Your team is a mess. It is disorganised, disruptive and clearly hasn't a clue what the next move should be. The team needs a strong leader. Someone who knows what to do in a situation like this – and you obviously don't."

"Erin, I know what I'm doing." Hotch argued back. She turned to meet his gaze.

"So tell me, where is he?" Hotch looked at her, slightly taken a back. "If you know what you're doing, then your profile will tell you where Mr. Turner is."

"It doesn't work like that. Not every time." He tried to correct her, but she was having none of it.

"Aaron, just admit. You are out of your depth." She said harshly. This time he didn't answer. He did feel out of his depth. Not professionally, but emotionally. And it was affecting his judgement. He couldn't deny that. "Well your silence speaks volumes Aaron. I think it's about time that this team had someone they can depend on."

Hotch looked at Strauss, and for the first time, he looked hurt by her words. He sighed, rubbing his hand across his eyes. Strauss watched him carefully, something akin to pity and guilt buzzed through her veins. It was a slightly foreign feeling to her.

"All I can ask Erin, is if you are going to replace me, at least let me get Reid home safe. That is all I ask." He looked at her imploringly. Her stomach flipped at the look on Hotch's face. He had no fight left in him. He was practically begging. His past experiences had obviously taken their toll. This was clearly the last thing he needed.

Strauss took a deep breath, still keeping the stern look on her face. Although her eyes had unintentionally softened slightly.

"Fine. You do what you need to. But your time in charge of this team is coming to an end." She said harshly. She turned, moving towards the door then stopped. She didn't turn back. "I hope you find him." She stood for a few moments, then opened the door and left.

Hotch sat staring depressively at the photos on his desk. Haley was smiling back at him with his son on her lap. There was also a picture of the team all smiling happily, aside from Reid of course, who looked slightly awkward, but still had laughter dancing his eyes. For the first time in a long time, Hotch silently cried.

* * *

><p>Reid was still stood with his arms above his head, the chain from the ceiling taking the majority of his weight. As a result, so were his wrists. His whole body ached. He had never felt so uncomfortable. His head hung down, his hair dangling into his face.<p>

Looking up, he saw Jason sat on a bed across the other side of the room, staring at him. He sighed slightly, tired of this whole game. He was fast starting to realise that it wasn't an accident that he had ended up in captivity a second time. This room was ready prepared, there was no other way Jason could prepare another room in such a way in only a matter of hours. A chill ran down Reid's spine. It was clear that Jason was a lot cleverer than any of them gave him credit for.

"You figuring me out, Spence?" Jason said with a slight smile on his face. Intrigued by the looks the young agent was giving him. He stood and moved slowly towards Reid. "Do you think you've got my _profile_ now?" He grabbed Reid gently by the chin, bringing the young man's face level with his own so they were looking into each other's eyes. Reid didn't answer. "Tell me, Spencer. Why are you here?" Jason still held Reid's chin.

"Because you threatened a member of my team." Reid simply.

"Come on Spence. You can do better than that." Jason stroke his cheek.

Reid took a deep breath, tiredly trying to read the man to a satisfactory level.

"Because you are obsessed with me." He said flinching slightly. That felt like a ridiculously big headed thing to say.

"Well that's a given." Jason mocked. "Look at you." He ran his hand down Reid's side, still cupping his chin with his other. Reid's eyes closed as the hand slipped under his gown. "You can still do better, Spence."

Huffing and opening his eyes again, Reid stared hard at Jason. He genuinely thought that the man was a sexual sadist with an obsession. But he was clearly wrong. Well, not wrong, but he was clearly missing something. And Jason seemed intent on helping him get to the truth. He didn't know why this was so important, but he had to get it right. A certain level of self-respect depended on it. It was nice for him to realise that Jason hadn't taken his competitive streak away from him. There were still some parts of him that remained a constant.

Jason watched as Reid's eyes examined him. He was desperate to lean forwards and kiss the young man at that moment. Especially when Reid bit his bottom lip signalling that his mind was examining some sort of profile. But Jason resisted. His desire to see Reid's profiling skills in action was too good an experience to miss.

_Okay, think. What am I missing? He's a sexual sadist. I know that. He has clearly planned this, he needed time to prepare this room. So it was clearly not a last minute construction done this afternoon. That meant he always meant for the team to find me the first time. And he always meant to break me out of the hospital. But why? Why would he want to do that? Why would he risk being caught? Or in this case, why would he kill two FBI agents? It doesn't make sense. That isn't the profile of a sexual sadist. A sexual sadist wouldn't want to be caught and one as intelligent as Jason would have taken longer than fourteen hours to be traced by the FBI. He definitely wanted to be arrested. If he was trying to make me suffer then surely keeping me under his control for a long period of time would be a better way of doing that. Why allow me to gain strength from the team?..._

Jason watched as Reid's brows furrowed. His quick thoughts had obviously led him down a path that he was confused by, then a look of realisation spread across his features.

_The team. He wanted them to see what he had done. He wanted to give me back to them, only to take me away again. The way he was trying to make turn me against the team, the hatred clearly displayed on the defaced photographs, the venom with which he said their names. It all makes sense._

"This isn't just about me. This is about the team. You want them to suffer too." Reid said, blinking at Jason. His voice weak with shock.

Jason smiled lightly, mocking Reid with an impressed look.

"Well done doctor. The BAU clearly haven't wasted their money on you." He slapped Reid's cheek gently in a patronising gesture then moved away.

Reid furrowed his brows again. Why? Why the team?

"What happened?" Reid asked gently. Sounding slightly sympathetic. Although that was intentional.

"You're the profiler. You tell me." Jason shrugged his shoulders carelessly.

Reid eyed him carefully, noting the tone in his voice as he answered. Was that a hint of jealousy? He didn't bring it up.. yet.

"You don't like my team."

Jason scoffed.

"You can do better than that, Spence."

Reid shook his head, feeling rather irritated by this stupid game.

"Jason." He said sternly. "I really have no interest in playing these games with you. If you brought me back here just to get me to profile you then I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed. There is nothing I can tell you that you don't already know yourself. You are a natural profiler, I can see that. And if you really expect me to believe that you have a _serious_ interest in listening to your personal profile for any reason other than to hear me say it out loud – believing it will cause me distress – then you have another thing coming. Profiling is one thing I don't attach emotions to. So if you believe you can upset me by making me profile you had better look for another way of getting to me." Reid looked at Jason indignantly. He had no intention of letting Jason get under his skin this time. Especially if he was going to die. He was going to do so with some self-respect.

"Well... that was quite the sermon." Jason said, a smile spreading broadly across his face. He sat down on the bed again. Not saying a word. This odd behaviour was setting Reid on edge. He shifted, trying to stop his legs from giving way underneath him. His left leg was throbbing painfully. He desperately wanted to sit down.

The two men allowed the silence to over take them. Neither of them willing to be the first to break the silence. Almost like it was a staring competition. After a good minute of looking at each other and saying nothing. Reid simply sighed and dropped his head. He couldn't be bothered with this now. If Jason was going to kill him, what the hell did it matter what his motives were?

"You took my job." Jason said sharply.

Reid's confused and slightly irritated face looked up to meet Jason's.

"What?" He snapped.

"You took my job." He repeated again, as if it explained everything.

Reid swayed tiredly from side to side, his mind working overtime to focus figuring out what Jason meant, rather than just allowing his body to succumb to the exhaustion.

"You applied for an agent's position." Reid stated, rather than questioned. Jason silently nodded. His face completely serious now. "And I got it instead." He swallowed. This made some more sense now. Jason nodded again. Reid's head dropped down. All of this was jealousy over his job? It couldn't be. It was all too extreme. All of a sudden, it became very important for Reid to get to the bottom of Jason's motives. Before he could ask any more questions, Jason started talking.

"I applied for the BAU and I was rejected by your fucking Unit Chief because he thought I had no empathy! I can empathise! I empathise with him, I understand how fucking hard it must be to run the BAU office! How hard it must be to work around someone like you and not jump on you every time you enter a room." Jason smiled sarcastically. "I empathise all the fucking time, but _he_ said I couldn't do it!" Reid glanced up at Jason, not saying a word. He certainly didn't want to tell him that he agreed with Hotch. So he kept his mouth shut. "Then, _Derek Morgan,_" he almost spat the man's name, "takes me for physical training and tells me I should work behind a desk! And surprise surprise, I'm shoved onto a fucking desk job while that piece of shit lords it up at the BAU playing the big 'I am'."

Reid could see the anger in Jason's face. If he was a dog he would, no doubt , have been foaming at the mouth. Jason stood up suddenly and moved quickly towards Reid. He grabbed him roughly by the face, squeezing hard. Reid winced as Jason's fingers dug into his injuries.

"Eight fucking years I worked in D.C. Eight years! And when I finally got here... I saw you." Jason wrapped his free arm around Reid's waist, pulling the young agent's body up against his own, Reid took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I was going to jump you one night when you were walking home from work." Reid's eyes then opened wide in a combination of surprise and disgust. "I actually stood and watched you walk past as I waited down the alley way. I was so close to doing it. But then I thought about their fucking smug faces and I saw how they protected you, how fond they all were of you. And I knew, if I just waited a little bit longer, I could have you and get to them at the same time." Reid was now shaking, this was more premeditated than he ever even cared to imagine. But it still didn't make sense.

"So you took me, so you could punish them?" Reid said, his voice nervous and unsure.

"No." His hand reached up under Reid's hospital gown again, stroking at his stomach. Reid flinched at the cold hand. "I took you because I wanted you." He reached round to massage Reid's back. "I let them find you and sent them the tapes to make them suffer." Reid froze, his face set in terror.

"What tapes?" He asked carefully.

Jason started laughing, finally removing his hand from Reid's face. He dropped it down to the young man's hips, pulling him close again.

"So shy, Spencer." Jason spoke seductively, rubbing himself up against the tense body in front of him. "The tapes of us, of course."

Reid felt like all of the blood was suddenly draining from his body. He went white as a sheet and he started to stutter.

"Y- you... sent..." His breathing was starting to become heavy and panicked as he searched Jason's face for a bluff.

Jason nodded mockingly.

"Yes... yes I did." He smiled when Reid's eyes closed and his mouth dropped open gasping in much needed air. "Well... I left the tapes somewhere they would find them anyway." Reid opened his eyes again now desperately searching Jason's face for a lie, he was practically begging for it. "You can examine me all you want, Spence. But they have those tapes. And I'm sure they've watched them... A chance to see you writhing in pleasure? I'm sure they loved it. Especially Agent Morgan." Reid winced, disgusted and angered by Jason's suggestion. Jason pulled a photograph from his back pocket and shoved it in Reid's face. It was defaced like all the others, but Morgan's arm was clearly around Reid's shoulders. "He likes to touch you, doesn't he?... I'm sure that's not all he likes to do."

Suddenly Reid kneed Jason, hard between the legs. Jason could insult him, but never his friends. Not when they weren't there to defend themselves. Jason let out a load moan and grabbed at his crotch, trying to ease the pain. He dropped to his knees. Instinctively, Reid then kicked Jason in the face, knocking him to the floor. He then started pulling at his chains. Realising there was no chance of escape, he instantly regretted his decision. Before he knew it, Jason was back on his feet again.

"You little shit!" He shouted, still holding his crotch but moving quickly towards Reid. Reid's eyes widened in fear as the man approached him. Jason punched him hard in the stomach. Reid coughed loudly and tried to curl in on himself, but the chains holding him from the ceiling would not let him. Jason kept punching, over and over, using Reid as a punching bag to allay the anger he suddenly felt. After what must have been at least the tenth punch, Reid was begging from him to stop through desperate gasps. Tears were running down Reid's face, his midsection was in agony. He tried to lift up a knee to relieve some of the pain, but this only meant he had to rely on his injured leg for support. The leg suddenly gave way and he found himself putting his body weight through his wrists once again. Jason then grabbed Reid's face tightly. The young man moaned as his already injured cheekbone complained against the grip. "Don't you ever fuckin' do that again, Spence! DON'T YOU DARE!" He screamed in his face.

Reid's eyes were screwed shut, unnerved by the proximity of Jason's face to his.

"OPEN YOUR EYES WHEN I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!" He once again screamed in Reid's face, tightening his grip and shaking him violently. Reid automatically opened his eyes on that command and let out a scared sob. "You're gonna pay for that, Spence." Jason reached into his back pocket, pulling out the key to Reid's chains. He quickly reached up and unlocked them. Reid fell unceremoniously to the ground with a loud thud. But he didn't care. He just curled in on himself, desperately trying to relieve the ache in his stomach.

Jason then bent down, grabbing Reid harshly by the hair and dragging him towards the bed in the corner. Reid instantly started fighting again. He grabbed Jason's hands trying to release his grip but to no avail, so he resorted to hammering at the man's torso, desperately trying to find a weak spot. His frustrations were getting the better of him. Jason in response, stamped on Reid's injured leg and he cried out in pain. Jason continued pulling at him and Reid continued his fight. He managed to get some leverage on his uninjured knee and managed to yank Jason away from the bed, the man stumbled a bit in surprise. He turned his incensed eyes on his victim again and launched for Reid.

Jumping on top of the young agent, he instantly went for his throat but Reid managed to stop him, wrestling with the stronger arms. Reid was starting to go red with exhaustion, as was Jason. Reid managed to catch Jason in the face with the palm of his hand, but that was all Jason would allow. He quickly brought a clenched fist down into Reid's face and then into his chest, severely winding him.

Reid was in agony as the air involuntarily left his lungs. He found himself unable to breathe in for a few moments and this was all Jason needed to gain the advantage. He found his arms pinned down either side of his head by Jason's hands, and the older man was straddling him, placing all of his weight on Reid's already aching stomach.

The panic still set into Reid and he tried desperately to free his arms and kick out his good leg, but his energy was waning.

"Stop!" Jason shouted, shaking Reid, trying to knock some sense into him. "Stop it." This time, he sounded more gentle, persuasive.

Reid screamed out in frustration. He had never, ever felt as useless as he had over the last few days.

Clutching both of Reid's wrists into the one hand now, Jason used his other hand to place it against Reid's face.

"Calm down." He said soothingly. But Reid tried to bite at his hand. He was like something wild. Jason shook him again. "Calm... Down." He repeated in a firmer but still incredibly gentle tone.

Reid's panicked breaths suddenly broke down into tears of desperation and a small part of him wanted Jason to kill him right then and there.

"I can't do this." Reid spoke between hitching gasps. "I can't do this any more." He broke down, his voice merely a whisper. His fight had left him.

"Ssshhh... Spence." Jason stroked his face soothingly. But to Reid, it was as comforting as being stroked with a wire brush. He just wanted the hands to leave him alone. "Ssshhhh..." Jason kept hushing him, like he was a temperamental child. When Jason felt all of the tension leave Reid's arms, he let go of his wrists. His victim was still crying inconsolably. The shame of his team seeing him in this state was the final straw. This was just too much to handle. The façade of strength he displayed at work had been penetrated and he had nothing left to hide behind. The team had seen him at his worst. Treated as less than human, used as an object for someone's sexual gratification. No. Worse than that. Used as a pawn in some sick revenge plan. He couldn't even place that much importance on himself in all of this now. If it had been him alone that Jason wanted to mess with, this ordeal probably would have been over in a matter of minutes, not drawn out into this long dramatic saga. No. He was now secondary in his own ordeal.

Reid barely noticed when Jason's weight shifted off the top of him and his body came to rest at his side. Jason's hand was then on Reid's shoulder, rolling him onto his right hand side. Reid's left hand met the floor and pushed back, trying to roll himself onto his back again, but he was too late. Jason's body was now wedged in behind him and his left leg was strewn across Reid's body. Jason then wrapped his arm around Reid's chest, subduing his fighting arm and pulling him into a tight hug.

"Oh, Spence... don't cry. Calm down." He nuzzled his face into the side of Reid's and Reid pulled away, turning his head to the floor. Reid was quickly giving up. Not because he was weak, but because he wasn't sure what he was fighting for any more. The team had only found him the first time because Jason had purposefully set it up that way. Jason was clearly extremely clever and had already made it clear that his intention was to kill him. Reid had no doubt that Jason would make good that threat. Not after killing Lewis and Howard.

Jason consoled him as his body shook with more silent tears. He then threaded his fingers through Reid's and held tightly onto his hand. To his pleasure, Reid gripped back, desperate for some form of comfort and Jason pulled him closer, Reid didn't fight it now. They lay like that for a good ten minutes, Reid's body shaking from time to time, then he went still. Jason knew Reid was giving up, he could feel it. Reid looked so depressed and exhausted. Reid had gone limp over a minute ago now and Jason was pleased to find that the young man had fallen asleep. He smiled at Reid's stupidity. He doubted that this is something that he would intentionally do. A combination of anaesthesia and lack of sleep was most likely the cause. But he didn't care. Reid was vulnerable and he loved it.

Jason carefully extracted his hand from Reid's and slowly and gently removed his leg from atop of his victim. He pushed himself up slightly, using his right arm so he could get a better look at Reid's battered but peaceful face. His could feel his arousal growing as he touched the young man. His hand then started to gently explore the rest of his body, careful not to wake him up. He ran his hand up and down the young man's side, then dipped it underneath his hospital gown. It was open from when he had unfastened it all earlier. Jason was quickly becoming hard now as he ran his hand up the plains of Reid's stomach. Reid then furrowed his brows in his sleep and brushed his hand down his body to unconsciously stop the movement of Jason's hand. Jason smiled. He was really going to enjoy this.

He lifted Reid's hospital gown up and pushed it forwards so that his bottom half was exposed. He took a sharp intake of breath as he ran his hand over the exposed skin. Jason then stood himself up, unfastening his belt and then removing his trousers and underwear. His erection springing free, aching for a piece of the agent lay beneath him. Jason then removed his t-shirt. He wanted to feel the warmth of Reid's skin against his chest, feel the young man's sweat as he fought desperately to free himself and he wanted Reid to feel him for the first time. Reid had gotten himself into this position, so Jason figured he should suffer the consequences.

Laying himself down next to Reid again, he pushed himself up against the young doctor. He swept his hand down his body and teased his finger at his entrance. Gently and slowly he pushed his finger inside and Reid's body tensed in his sleep and he shifted to pull himself away. Reid whimpered slightly as his unconscious mind realised that the finger wasn't going anywhere. Jason slowly inserted another finger and this time Reid came round with a gasp, his hips automatically pulling away from the intrusion.

"Stay still, Spencer." Jason whispered in his ear, soothingly. Reid's arm reached behind him to stop Jason from violating him and Jason's right arm wrapped itself around his neck, squeezing threateningly. Instinctively, Reid's hand went to the arm around his throat and Jason quickly released the choke hold and caught Reid's wrist, immobilising his free hand. The other was trapped beneath his own body and the floor. Jason then nuzzled his face into Reid's neck, leaving marks as he sucked on the skin.

Reid's heart was beating fast and erratically. He could feel Jason's stiffness pressing into his lower back and he desperately wanted to pull away. The fingers invading his body, pulled in and out, sickeningly slowly. Teasing for what was to come. He felt claustrophobic. His right arm was trapped underneath his own body and his left arm was pulled tightly across his chest as Jason pulled on his wrist. Jason's body was wedged in right behind him and no amount of shifting could stop the contact of skin to skin. He desperately wished he had some clothing on. His stomach was churning with anxiety and a shudder ran down his body when Jason nuzzled his neck in a sensitive spot.

"You like that?" Jason whispered. Nuzzling into his neck again, making Reid squirm.

"Please stop." Reid said in a weak voice. He knew it was pointless. What was he trying to save that hadn't already been taken from him anyway? But he couldn't help it.

Jason then removed his fingers and started stroking himself.

"You ready?" Jason whispered in his ear and licked the side of Reid's face. Reid in response squeezed his eyes tightly shut and started shaking his head from side to side, in complete denial. He tried to shuffle himself away, but Jason's hand pulled his hips back towards him. He pushed Reid's injured leg forwards so he could gain better access. Reid cried out as a pain shot up his leg and he tried to move it back, but Jason kept him in position with strong hands.

"No." Reid said, stronger this time. Finally finding some energy to fight. He bucked and wriggled and tried desperately to roll away from Jason but it was too late. Jason thrust into Reid quickly and mercilessly and the young man cried out in agony and his whole body tensed. Once Jason knew he had access to Reid, he let go of his leg and wrapped his free arm across his stomach, pulling him as close as he could. He wanted Reid to feel him as he thrust in and out.

Tears were running down Reid's face again in utter devastation. He was so trapped. The pain he was feeling was excruciating and he found himself panting, trying to cope with it. The initial fight that he put up was soon forgotten as he just tried to cope with the agony and violation of what was happening. He could feel Jason's hot breath against his cheek and the occasional wetness from when the man licked him or placed a sloppy kiss somewhere.

The next thing he registered was Jason's hand reaching downwards and starting to stroke him. Reid realised he had zoned out for a while. At this though, he gasped and started pleading again.

"No... no please.." Jason slowed down his thrusts and speeded up his strokes and Reid was soon becoming hard once again.

"Why would I stop, Spence? You clearly like it." He whispered cruelly.

"No." Reid gasped, trying to pull himself together, he tried to wriggle his hand free from Jason's grip but to no avail. His voice sounded more focused now. "It is a normal physiological reaction that bears no relation to psychological decisions." Jason just speeded up his strokes, causing Reid to push the side of his face into the ground and moan slightly.

Jason was completely composed, he knew how to control himself in this situation.

"I take it the moaning is a normal physiological response too?" He started thrusting faster now in time with the strokes and Reid couldn't control the whimpers that escaped his lips. His body was responding against his will. His mind stuck in turmoil, somewhere between highly aroused and in excruciating pain.

Reid found himself desperately trying to escape to somewhere else like he had the last time. He thought about happier times, working with his team and thinking about the various things they had done together, both in work and outside of work.

Eventually, Jason felt the fight leave Reid's body. Stopping his movements, he looked over the young agent's face. He was just staring. Staring at nothing. Jason smiled. He didn't want Reid's mnd wandering off elsewhere. He wanted to keep him in the present. There was no point in this otherwise. He suddenly brought his hand up to slap Reid across the face, the young agent yelped as he was brought back from his reverie. His body instantly tensed up again as he realised his ordeal wasn't over.

"Stay with me, Spence." Jason moaned into his ear as he started thrusting and stroking at the younger man again. Reid winced, closing his eyes in pain. But he didn't fight now. It was too late, the damage had been done. Jason was soon coming to his climax, he started bucking his hips harder at Reid but then slowed down to a stop, focusing his attentions on bringing Reid to his climax first. As he speeded up his strokes, he could feel sweat running down the young man's back and his face was clammy. He was panting heavily, Jason licked his face as he finally came. Reid shuddered as the unwanted arousal took over his body and finally dissipated. Jason used the tension in Reid's body at that moment to bring himself to a climax, he buried himself deep inside Reid, holding him tightly in place until he was completely spent. As he came he let go of Reid's wrist and grabbed at his face instead, his other hand ran all over the agent's body. Jason panted heavily as his arousal subsided. His body felt relaxed and drowsy. Reid was shivering involuntarily beside him. Finally released from Jason's bruising grip, he quickly covered himself back up with the gown and wrapped his arms tightly around his body.

Jason then shifted himself away from Reid and rolled him onto his back. Reid's hands came up defensively and he bent his good knee up to protect himself. Jason just leaned over Reid, looking down on his face, making him incredibly uncomfortable and self-conscious. Jason stroked his face and Reid's hands twitched as he tried to resist swatting his abuser's hands away. Jason then leaned down and took Reid's mouth into a passionate kiss. Reid gently rested his hands on Jason's shoulders, not pushing him away but, at the least, keeping him at a distance. Jason then collapsed his body down so he was half on top of Reid. He threw his arm across the young man's chest and his leg rested across his body half.

The tension in Reid's body was exhausting. Jason didn't know how his body could keep fighting in this way. He pulled away from the kiss and looked deep into Reid's eyes.

"Relax. We're done... get some rest." He dropped his head down to lie right next to Reid's. His mouth resting at the young doctor's cheek. When Reid moved to brush off Jason's arm from his chest, the older man just grabbed his wrist again. But gently this time. He snuggled into Reid. Reid didn't know what was worse, this Jason, or the sadistic violator. At least with the latter he didn't feel so responsible. When Jason was being gentle, he felt like he was allowing the man to do these things to him. Even though he knew in his mind that he had no choice, these were the moments when the guilt was at its strongest. Reid was forced to relax a little. Jason clearly wanted to enter a sex induced sleep and he obviously planned on enjoying it with his conquest. Trapped beneath him. So Reid would have to remain where he was, shivering on the cold floor. Covered by the man who had brutally abused him.

He really wished Jason would just kill him.

* * *

><p>"What do we do now then?" Prentiss asked, looking to Rossi and JJ sat opposite her. "Garcia has already searched through his transactions. There's nothing to be found in there that he didn't want us to find. We have our profile, but all we know is he will take him somewhere of his own choosing and not Reid's. Somewhere that means something to him... but where?"<p>

"He's like a ghost, Emily. He hasn't left anything in his records that we could trace to a building or anything like that. He does my job, he knows exactly what I would look for." Garcia said. Her face flat and tired.

"Well what would we do if we didn't have all of this information on him? If we didn't know him?" Rossi asked.

"Ask people he knows." JJ nodded.

"Exactly." Rossi said.

"But anyone he knows would include people here. Surely if they knew anything that could help, they would have mentioned it." Garcia asked.

"Even profilers can miss things when they're right in front of their faces, Garcia." Prentiss commented. She clearly believed that Rossi's idea was a good one. It was easy to overlook the obvious when they were dealing with a case so close to home. Protocol often went out of the window. As they had clearly demonstrated.

"Are you going to want to talk to me?" Garcia said quietly, as if it was implicating her in some way.

They all looked at her, understanding her guilt and treading carefully around it.

"I think that would be a good idea." Rossi said gently. "It doesn't mean you could have done anything about it... But there might be some tiny detail that may have been overlooked."

Garcia nodded quietly. The door to the conference room suddenly swung open and Morgan walked in, sombrely. He chanced a glance at JJ who automatically moved her gaze to the table. She was still incredibly upset.

Sensing the mood in the room, Prentiss looked to Rossi and Garcia, nodding to them as she stood up.

"Right, I'd better help Garcia look into his friends. You wanna come too, Rossi?" She smiled knowingly.

He stood up in response.

"Lead the way." He said simply, giving Morgan a look as if to sarcastically say 'smooth'.

Morgan raised his eyebrows at his colleagues and their apparent lack of acting skills. But he appreciated the gesture anyway. Once they had left the room, he moved his gaze back to JJ and sat down.

"I'm sorry." He said calmly but firmly. "I really am." She finally looked up to meet his gaze, the hurt was obvious in her eyes. "I was angry and I took it out on the wrong person. And that person was you. You didn't deserve that." He said softly and honestly, his gaze unwavering.

Tears started welling up in JJ's eyes.

"I don't know who I'm more annoyed with." The upset was showing in her voice. "You... or myself."

"JJ, don't." Morgan leaned across the table. "Don't do that to yourself. I didn't mean what I said. Not one bit. You shouldn't listen to me... You were right, I blame myself. It is my fault that Reid went back to Jason. I shouldn't have taken that out on you."

"No, Morgan. I didn't mean that either... Reid did what he did because he cares about you. Not because you expected him to. You're his best friend. He protected you like you would protect him."

Morgan didn't feel the need to respond. He just smiled softly at JJ, feeling incredibly stupid for taking out his venom on one of his close friends. The look on JJ's face was rather similar and she smiled back.

Morgan stood and moved to sit next to her, placing an arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Why do we always do this?" JJ asked. "Whenever anything happens to Reid, we always argue."

"Because we're both the same." Morgan said with a knowing smile. "We love our boy so much that we think we're the only ones who care as much as we do."

JJ laughed slightly. That was the truest thing she'd heard in a while.

"Why can't you have these epiphanies when we're arguing?" She glanced up at Morgan, a small joke in her eyes. Morgan didn't answer. Only smiled. They sat in silence for a minute or so, dreading leaving the conference room to return to the living hell that was their current case. JJ looked at Morgan again. "You know I didn't want to lie about Emily, don't you?" This was obviously so important for her.

"Yeah, JJ. I know." Morgan said, squeezing her shoulders.

"I know Spence is still angry about it. I can tell. He made the effort to try to trust me again, but I know he doesn't... he's a good liar."

"That's not true. Reid trusts you with his life."

"No, Derek. No he doesn't." JJ said strongly. "He doesn't... God!" She pulled away from Morgan now. "You have no idea how many times I was **this **close", she demonstrated with two fingers held an appropriate distance apart, "this close to telling you. All of you... It killed me to see you all grieving. Knowing that two little words could just fix it all."

"Don't do this to yourself." Morgan said gently, rubbing her shoulder.

"Spence came over to my house. Every week for ten weeks. Crying." JJ said turning to Morgan. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. That didn't sound like Reid. "He really loves Emily. He's a lot closer to her than I thought. She looks out for him too, I think. I never realised just how much Reid knows about everyone on this team." She realised she was rambling now and shook her head free of the distracting thoughts. "He cried for ten weeks solid. I'd never, ever seen him cry before. And that was when I knew, after all the time I've worked with him, that Reid truly trusted me. And all the time I was lying to him. Every time he trusts someone, he gets it thrown back in his face."

"You sound like him." Morgan said quietly. She looked at him questioningly. "He said that to me, many years ago now." JJ turned away.

"Well now, it took all of my effort just for him to show a little emotion in front of me... I've ruined everything." Tears started running down her face and she sniffed.

"No, JJ. No you haven't. You had no choice. Emily needed you and you did what was right. Reid knows that."

"Doesn't mean that he trusts me though." She said sadly.

"Okay... maybe he is a bit unsure right now. But that doesn't mean he always will be. Reid understands your reasons... and he knows you have a good heart. He'll come round... you'll see." Morgan stroked her hair and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Thanks Derek." JJ said gently, turning to give him a big hug. She was so glad they had settled their differences. She hated arguing with Morgan. He was always so light-hearted and fun. Falling out with him was like being bitten by a Labrador. It was just uncharacteristic.

"No problem." He smiled, returning the hug. "Now let's go find our boy." He said positively.

* * *

><p>Hotch sat in his office. Head in his hands. Strauss' words were running through his head in never ending circles.<p>

_'You're out of your depth... time the team had someone they can depend on.'_

Strauss didn't often get to him, but she caught him at a particularly low ebb. After being stabbed, then losing Haley, coping without JJ, then holding the team's hand through the grief of losing Emily and now this. He really wasn't sure, when he looked back, how he had gotten through it all. Maybe it was because someone else had pointed it out to him, but he suddenly realised what a mess the last couple of years had been. There had been hard times before, with Elle, Gideon leaving, then Reid's drug problem – all in quick succession. But nothing that had been quite so gut wrenching as the issues the team had faced, this year in particular. The team was closer than ever, and that made every loss all the more painful. And Hotch couldn't help but think that Strauss was right. He hadn't been strong for the team. He had been too focused on himself and his own issues.

He thought back to Ian Doyle and Emily's inability to share her past life with the team. Had that been because he hadn't instilled trust in the members of his team? He thought about Reid and his headaches. Another thing that had been swept under the carpet, keeping everyone out of the know. Had Reid felt unable to tell him because he worried he might be judged?

He thought the team was close, but they seemed to have this ability of not reaching out to each other when it was at the most important moments. And this time was no exception. Reid had purposefully not told the team about the letter because, Strauss was right, Reid didn't think the team would be able to keep Morgan safe from Jason.

Hotch couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't something he could have done to make Reid have more faith in the team when he was most in need. He had no doubt that if Gideon had still been here, Reid would have thought twice about returning himself to Jason.

Hotch sighed and looked to his cell. Picking it up, he dialled a carefully selected number and held the phone to his ear.

"I need to talk to you. Can you come into my office?... Thanks." He spoke seriously, his face expressionless.

He waited a minute, until he heard a knock on his door. The door pushed open and in walked his colleague.

Hotch gestured to the seat.

"Sit down."

"Well this is serious." Rossi replied, noting Hotch's tone and the fact that he had been called rather than taken aside. "I take it your meeting with Erin didn't end too favourably."

Hotch tightened his lips, to keep himself from saying what he really wanted to. Which would have been more than unprofessional.

"Dave, my time in charge of this team is coming to an end." He took Strauss' words as he couldn't think of a better way of saying it.

"What?" Rossi said, sitting forwards, his eyes angry. "What has she been saying to you?" He looked like he wanted to murder Strauss there and then.

"Nothing that I've not been thinking myself." It wasn't strictly true, but she had stirred up some considerable doubt in his mind. Doubt that he figured was already there anyway. "I've been struggling to stay on top of things for a while now. And all of this... it's just getting too much."

Rossi shook his head in denial.

"This isn't the Aaron Hotchner I know. This is Erin Strauss talking."

"No. This is me talking. I've changed... The last two years, they've changed me. I don't feel as in control as I used to be."

"So what? We've had a bad couple of years, you more than most! But you're forgetting the important part. You got through it."

"No, Dave. We're still getting through it. And right now I don't trust myself to be head of this team. I can't focus, I'm not profiling well... I'm... I'm crying for god's sake."

Rossi narrowed his eyes.

"That just makes you human, Aaron. Hell, every time I think about what's happening right now I wanna cry."

"But the important thing is, you don't." Hotch said seriously, looking Rossi dead in the eyes.

"How do you know what I do? I've cried. I've cried practically everyday. I cry all the time. Hell, I cry like a new born... Like I said. It's what makes us human, what makes us good at what we do... we care." Hotch raised his eyebrows slightly at this confession. He knew Rossi was a passionate man but didn't have him pegged as the crying type. But then, what exactly was 'the crying type'. Reid could look like the 'crying type'.. but he wasn't. He realised that even he could judge a book by its cover sometimes.

"Look Dave, the fact of the matter is, regardless of whether its right or wrong to cry, I'm not focused. I need to take a back seat on this. If we want to find Reid alive, I **have** to take a back seat. I can't head this case." Rossi shook his head, opening his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a raise of the hand from Hotch. "That's why I need someone I can depend on to keep the team focused and on the right track. To stop them pulling each other apart and get them working together regardless of how they are feeling."

Rossi's eyes narrowed again.

"And you think that person is me?" He sounded surprised.

"I do." Hotch said simply. "I know you hate the politics and I promise you, I wouldn't ask you if I felt I had any other choice, but it would only be until we find Reid. Then I would take charge and review my position again. I really don't want to see Reid passed to another team, or worse, the local P.D."

Rossi nodded in agreement, he shared that sentiment. Although he was deeply unhappy with the rest of Hotch's statement.

"Why me, Aaron? Morgan surely would be a better candidate. He's younger, he's fitter, he has a lot more going for him than I do right now."

"But he's also too emotionally involved. You are able to take a step back. Morgan can't. I've watched the team carefully throughout this whole disaster, Dave. You are the only person who has kept your focus throughout. If it wasn't for you, we would have missed so many parts of the profile. The team needs someone who leads by example right now. And I'm not capable of setting the example they need." Hotch stared at Rossi pleadingly. He hated putting him in this position, but he couldn't see Reid be failed by them again because they weren't focusing in the right place. Rossi had consistently had his wits about him. He was the only one right now he could trust to get the job done.

Rossi stared back hard. Trying to figure out if this really was how Hotch felt, or if it was Strauss' influence affecting Hotch's judgement. He figured it was a combination of the two. But if Strauss was throwing Hotch this much off his game, perhaps he was right. He needed to step down for a while. At least while the stakes were so high.

"Fine." He answered. "But only until we get Reid home safe. My obligations end as soon as Reid is back with us and Jason is in custody."

Hotch breathed a sigh of relief, smiling a little.

"Deal."


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm nervous posting this one :O Oh, this is an intense chapter. These are seriously getting harder and harder to write without covering the same ground and getting stale with the plot. Perhaps I should have let Reid stay in the nice cosy hospital... nah! **

**Okay, firstly I must apologise for the length of time between chapters. As I say, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to write as I took myself down a plot line that hasn't been fully thought out just as yet. The subject matter is also particularly draining and I can find myself getting lost in my own head space a lot, so I need to take myself away from it for a while then. But I am pretty sure on where I'm going now. The next chapter, I'm hoping will be the emotional one. It's just a case of what comes out when I start typing really. **

**I would also like to thank all of you who keep reviewing the chapters, they really mean a lot to me so I would love more of you to do so too ;) ;) I'm really grateful to those of you who really stick with me. Anyway, don't hate me too much for this chapter, this is probably as bad as it's gonna get. It's a dark one :O Poor Spence. **

**WARNINGS: Please take heed, things get about as bad as they can possibly get in this chapter. If there was a sticker for being cruel to a character and creating a feeling of utter hopelessness, I think I might just get it for this chapter. But hopefully it's been done well :/ Non-con, swearing (lots), violence, all the uglies.**

**(Ha just read this chapter through, wow I'm evil) ENJOY!**

Rossi, Morgan and Hotch sat around the table in the conference room, still staring at the same information. JJ and Prentiss had gone back to the gym to interview Steve again. They knew it was a long shot, but they figured that even a little bit of extra information would help.

Morgan sighed loudly, dropping his head onto the table.

"This is useless! We're just looking at the same stuff over and over again and finding nothin' new!"

"There has to be something in all of this somewhere. Something to suggest where he might have taken him." Hotch reassured.

"But what if there isn't Hotch?" He turned his concerned deep brown eyes to the other man.

"Don't lose hope, Morgan. We've got to keep going." Hotch said strongly.

"What? Like you have?" Morgan snapped. "You've given Rossi the lead on this, man. You can't lecture me on not giving up!"

"Morgan-" Rossi warned.

Morgan automatically reprimanded himself.

"Sorry, Hotch. I shouldn't have said that."

Hotch shook his head, a signal for Morgan to forget it. Hotch didn't want him to know that his comment had stung.

The men sat in silence for a good minute, still looking through various papers and lists of possible victims. The list seemed endless. So many men fitting the profile had been killed in blitz attacks over the last ten years.

"It's like looking for a needle in a haystack." Rossi sighed. Morgan looked up, a memory playing on his mind.

"Or Reid would say we were looking for a particular needle in a pile of needles." Rossi raised his eyebrow curiously at Morgan. He shrugged in return. "A needle would stand out in a haystack... apparently."

"Ah." Rossi smiled slightly. There were so many reasons why the team cared so much for Reid. His unnecessary correction of common phrases was one of them. An uncomfortable silence overtook them again. Rossi shifted nervously. "You know we still have some evidence that we haven't used yet..." He eyed the other two men, carefully.

Hotch looked up at him, knowing what he was going to say.

"What?" Morgan questioned, willing to try anything.

"The rest of the tape." He said searching Morgan's gaze for a reaction.

Morgan's brows furrowed.

"We can't watch any more of that, Rossi." He said categorically.

"Nobody said you had to watch it. Either of you... But I will if it means we get some information."

"But what is he really gonna say? Reid clearly didn't know that Jason planned on taking him again. And Reid's not stupid. He would have been profiling the guy constantly. He wouldn't have missed something like that."

"No, but he wouldn't understand the significance of Jason talking about his favourite bar or about a friend, or anything like that. It's only now we can make that connection." Hotch clearly thought watching the video was their only option right now.

Morgan ran a hand over his face, sighing.

"I hate this." Morgan had obviously conceded. Rossi nodded to Hotch to grab the next tape.

"You don't have to watch this, Morgan. You know that." Rossi reassured him.

"I do." He answered simply, leaving no room for questions. They all understood each other's reasons for not avoiding watching the video. They hadn't been there for Reid, this seemed like their only chance to do something right by him. As invasive as it felt.

Hotch pressed play and they were greeted with the sight of Jason leaning over Reid after assaulting him. Reid's arms and legs were chained to the bedposts and he just lay flat, staring at the ceiling.

_"Spence?" _Jason nudged him, trying to rouse him. Reid wasn't responding so he tried again. This time he was successful. Reid blinked and shook away his daze.

"He was dissociating." Rossi noted.

Morgan shook his head in sadness. Seeing Reid's mind slowed down so much was painful to watch.

Reid started shaking then and Jason released his arms from the chains. Reid curled in on himself and turned on his side. Jason was looking at him, almost sadly.

_"I've gotta go back to work now, Spence. Can I have a kiss?"_

Hotch scoffed. Both at the lie and the ridiculous request. They watched as Jason placed a gentle kiss on Reid's neck and advised him to 'eat something', before leaving the room. Reid didn't respond at all. He was obviously deeply disturbed. The odd shudder ran down his body. But again, he didn't cry. He was completely silent. They watched for any movement for a good five minutes and then Hotch decided to 'fast forward' the tape.

"He must be asleep." Morgan commented.

They watched as the tape rolled through the footage quickly and Reid moved onto his back and again, wasn't moving.

"He's not asleep." Hotch noted thoughtfully. "He's just staring at the ceiling."

They all furrowed their brows when they thought about what this suggested. Jason was obviously starting to have a serious effect on Reid's mental state and this did not bode well for his current situation.

Eventually they came to the end of the tape and inserted the next one. This tape contained much of the same. Reid staring up at the ceiling. In fact, that was all that tape contained.

"He was like that for hours." Rossi said, shaking his head.

The next tape was then inserted. Eventually they came to a point where Jason entered the room again, he moved straight over to the chair and sat.

_"I know you're awake, Spence."_

Reid snapped uncharacteristically.

_"I wasn't pretending otherwise."_ Reid then shifted, sitting himself up.

"He's trying to hold it together." Rossi commented.

_"You don't look too great if I'm honest, Spence. You look tired."_

Morgan scoffed, shooting an angry look to Hotch. Hotch shook his head in disbelief.

_"I'm fine." _They heard Reid quickly retort.

_"Ooh, a bit defensive aren't we? I've only come down here for a bit of company. Hard day at the office."_

He picked up the whisky, offered some to Reid, when he didn't respond, he returned to the chair in the corner.

"Like good old friends having a chat over a drink." Rossi commented sarcastically. They couldn't believe he was bending Reid's ear over a job he hadn't even been in to. And depending on Reid for emotional support.

_"Did you speak to anyone today?"_ Reid's voice was quiet. It wasn't clear whether he really believed Jason's work story, but they figured he might have been playing along. But at the hospital, he'd clearly had his doubts.

_"Nope. Just my team, as always. Morgan asked whether I'd heard from you. I said no, naturally."_

Morgan sprang out of his seat. If Jason had been in the room right then and there, he most certainly would have been unconscious by now.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Morgan shouted at the screen. He paced the room, trying to keep himself calm.

Neither Rossi nor Hotch had the heart to tell him to sit down. It seemed that Jason liked to push his buttons. And was succeeding.

_"Didn't Morgan find it strange that you hadn't been in contact with me?"_

"He doesn't believe him, Morgan." Hotch said calmly.

"No, but he did, didn't he? There was that little bit of doubt there. And that was enough." Morgan said frustrated.

_"Nope, not when I said you'd told me to fuck off... Well, in your own little way, of course."_

"I wanna kill this guy." Morgan said, still pacing.

_"I'm perfectly capable of telling people to fuck off, you know." _Reid sounded offended, irritated.

"Morgan, sit down." Rossi ordered. Sensing that something was brewing. Morgan turned to the man and reading his body language, he realised he hadn't meant it offensively. So he sat.

_"Really?" _Jason's eyes danced with laughter, which made Reid's colleague's eyes dance with anger.

_"__Come near me again and you'll find out."_ Reid said, his voice low and deadly. Like the team had never heard it before.

"Oh no, Reid. Don't antagonise him." Morgan said, rubbing his hand over his face.

This is the mood that Rossi had been sensing.

_"Well bravo to you, Spence! Bravo! You've obviously recharged your batteries after your earlier lesson. You've a lot more oil in your can than I gave you credit for."_Jason was completely patronising Reid at that moment, taking almost a victory sip from his whisky glass. _"Shame for you though, it only makes it more fun for me. Real shame." _

_"If you think that you will break me, you're mistaken. I'm not a child, no matter how much you treat me like one."_Reid calmly retorted back, also his voice was laced with unexpressed anger.

They watched Jason stare long and hard at Reid. Reid stared back, his gaze unflinching.

"He's got some guts, I'll give him that." Hotch commented proudly.

_"You can fight me if it makes you feel better, Spencer. But the fact of the matter is, there is no way out for you. Both your legs are chained to this bed, unless you're going to drag a double bed up some stairs whilst also incapacitating me, I don't think there is much you can do. In the end, Spence. I'll win."_

They watched as Reid's gaze flinched. His shoulders dropped slightly. If it was obvious to them, then it was definitely obvious to Jason. They all knew Reid was never going to win this battle. And watching this, knowing already that he had lost made it all the harder. As much as they tried to cheer him on inside, they knew deep down, Jason had already won this battle of wills.

_"Then I'll make it as difficult as possible for you. You'll wish you'd never bothered."_ Reid smiled.

"I bet he did an' all." Morgan said. Feeling a sad pride at the strength Reid was showing, despite how terrified he must have been.

_"Oh Spence. You just don't get it, do you? It really doesn't matter how much you fight. I'll be the one with the knife."_ Reid suddenly burst out laughing, the team exchanged concerned glances.

_"You think a knife scares me now? One thing I've realised about you Jason, is that you aren't going to kill me. Not yet. Not till you've got what you want at least!" _

"What is he doing? He's giving away all he knows." Hotch said, frustrated.

_"So a knife no longer bothers you then?"_ Jason sat smiling. It was obvious he didn't believe Reid. Who would? The team knew that Reid had done himself no favours here.

_"Okay, Spence. Well let's have it this way then. How about I strap you down to that bed so fucking tight that you can't even move? How does that sound?"_

"Oh my god." Morgan gasped, turning away from the screen. His jaw tight with tension. Rossi took in a deep breath. Hotch found himself wanting to reach in through the screen and pull the young man out. Knowing Reid was back with Jason was making this so much harder. Even though they knew it wasn't live, it may as well have been for what might have been happening to him at that moment.

They watched the panic scuttle across Reid's face and he quickly pulled it back. But it had been there. That much was undeniable.

_"Aah, so that does bother you then."_Jason was teasing him. _"My own personal puppet, under my complete control. That sounds pretty appealing to me. What do you think?"_

Hotch paled, feeling as though the blood had drained out of his body.

"Oh come on, man!" Morgan shouted, devastated for his friend.

_"It doesn't bother me, no."_

Reid was clearly trying so hard, but he just couldn't keep that shake out of his voice.

_"Hmm... You think you're so smart, don't you, Spencer?"_ Jason was now moving slowly and carefully towards Reid. The team's stomachs flipped as they thought about what his intentions were. _"Thinking that hiding your fear from me will somehow change things. Make me less likely to want you?"_Reid tried to interrupt but was cut off. _"You're very much mistaken, Spence. If only you'd realise, I'm all for the fight. In fact, it makes it all the more worthwhile for me. The more you fight, the more I want to have you. And the more I want to have you, the less chance you have."_

"He really is one sick son of a bitch." Morgan said. The energy had left his body. He was in shock now.

_"So we can do this one of two ways. You can fight me, and I will have you anyway. Or you can co-operate, which will make it a bit easier for you, but the results will still be the same... It's up to you."_

Reid looked as though he had just given up, his shoulders were slumped and his body language was tired and depressed. Until Jason's hand sneaked onto his shoulder. He tensed instantly.

_"Get off me."_ He spoke through gritted teeth.

_"Or else... what?"_Jason smiled mockingly.

Reid suddenly punched Jason in the face. The team looked to each other, concerned.

"What's he doing?" Rossi said passionately. "He's just making it worse."

"What's he supposed to do Rossi, just sit back and take it?" Morgan said frustrated.

They both went silent again as Jason started speaking.

_"I didn't think you had it in you, Spence."_When Reid stood up to meet his tormentor's gaze, Jason continued. _"So we're playing this game again then?"_

The team watched helplessly as Jason launched himself at Reid and grabbed him by the throat. He looked as though he was going to strangle the younger man. Eventually, Reid's fight started to leave him slightly, as the oxygen began to leave his body. This is Jason head butted him, knocking him out cold.

"Fuck." Morgan said as Jason's head met Reid's and his young colleague's arms fell limp.

"Wake up, Reid... Wake up." Hotch was muttering.

The three men looked sickened as Jason brought the unconscious Reid into a passionate kiss then started groping his lifeless body. Out of respect and disgust his colleagues only glanced occasionally.

"He's not even talking. He's not said a fuckin' word that will help us."

"We knew it was a long shot Morgan." Hotch said.

"He would never have told us about any of this." Morgan said glancing through his fingers at the screen. "Oh god, he's rolling him over." He said without thinking. Turning away again.

Hotch and Rossi watched as Jason pulled him up the bed then started routing under the mattress.

"What's he looking for?" Rossi said curiously. His question was soon answered when a leather straps were produced through holes in the mattress. His mouth dropped open slightly.

Hotch dropped his face into his hand.

"Oh god." He said uncharacteristically.

"What? What?" Morgan said, refusing to look. When no one answered, his curiosity got the better of him and he glanced at the television. "No! You gotta be fucking kidding me?" Morgan shouted angrily. Both Reid's hands were strapped down and his midsection was just being secured to the bed. Morgan was stood again, pacing. He only stopped, freezing completely when Reid moaned slightly, coming out of his unconscious state.

As he tried to move and found he couldn't, he made little panicked noises and his eyes opened wide.

Hotch's eyes started watering. Watching this was almost like watching a son. It was too much.

They watched as Jason stroked his back gently, 'soothing' him.

_"Shhh, Spence. I thought this didn't bother you. I mean, I did promise you this if you were to fight me."_

Reid was now crying, all calm was gone. Reid knew he had lost this battle.

_"Please, Jason. Don't do this."_

Morgan's eyes were now filling up with tears too. He was so frustrated. To hear his friend begging someone who he had trusted not to force him to do something he desperately didn't want to do was just heartbreaking. They were words they would never be able to erase from their memories. Along with the pictures. As unfair as it was on Reid, they knew when they looked at him, they would never quite look at him the same way. They would always remember this sight and always feel sad. If they got him back at all that was.

The sight was just made worse by Jason lying flat down on top of Reid and pushing his lips to his cheek.

_"Shh... you have no idea what you're doing to me, Spencer."_

"Sick fuck... you sick fuck!" Morgan banged his fist hard on the table. The was constantly swinging between anger, sadness and shock.

Reid was begging again but Jason carried on, moving to remove Reid's boxers. Out of respect for Reid the men turned away. But a sudden sound of shouting drew their accident back to the screen, followed by a loud shriek of pain coming from their colleague.

_"You fucking bastard!"_

"That's when he stabbed him." Hotch said quietly.

"What happened?" Rossi asked.

Hotch picked up the remote and rewound, only going as far back as was necessary. They didn't want to watch a repeat of this whole trauma.

"He bent back his fingers with his knee... look." Hotch rewound again to show them.

They nodded.

"So he has uncontrollable rage when someone hurts him. Good job for him Reid wasn't the same, right." Rossi commented humourlessly.

Jason then kept telling Reid to shut up and strapped his legs to the bed now, so he was completely incapacitated. The men turned around again.

_"Please... please... don't do this Jason... We were good friends... We helped each other..."_ Jason simply ignored Reid and started undressing, causing the young man to panic further, desperately trying to save himself from his seemingly inevitable fate. _"I can help you! I can help you with whatever you want! Please, just untie me! I will comply, I promise! I promise!"_

"Oh god, Reid." Morgan said sadly, not even looking at the screen. He couldn't do it.

_"It's too late for all that, Spence. I've waited too fucking long for this. And I'm gonna enjoy it." _

Rossi was the only one watching as Jason finally laid himself down on top of the young man and wrapped his hand around his face, covering his mouth. He turned away before the actual rape began. Having the sudden urge to be violently sick.

* * *

><p>Reid lay on the cold floor. Barely daring to move. Jason had fallen asleep almost straight after he'd brutally raped him. Jason's hand was still gently wrapped around Reid's wrist and his arm and leg were still strewn across him, trapping him against the floor. Reid's body was a lot less tense now, having been forced to relax purely by the sheer duration in which he had been in this position.<p>

He felt numb. He no longer felt frustrated, he no longer felt angry. He no longer felt tired, or awake, or anything. He just stared at the ceiling, lost in the disbelief and hopelessness of what his promising life had so fast become.

He could feel Jason's hot breath tickling his cheek as the man slept. Reid had pulled his face away enough times by now to know that it was a useless task. Jason would simply shift in his sleep and pull him back closer again. Although Reid hated the feeling of the man being in such close proximity to him, it was certainly preferable to him being on top of him and awake. So he kept still, willing his body to stop shaking.

As he stared at the ceiling, he winced as a shot of pain darted up his leg. His body was battered. His stomach in particular, ached dreadfully. And his wrists stung from where they had been used as a hanging device for the rest of his body. The bandages that covered a large percentage of his body right now were starting to unravel. His swollen, broken knuckles were now exposed. Reid didn't think he would ever feel like himself again. He now lived in a world clouded by pain, he felt consistently dirty and his mind was slowed considerably by depression. Emotions were fast becoming too exhausting to deal with, so he pushed them back as he tried to calmly come to terms with the fact he most likely wouldn't make it out of there alive.

Reid stopped breathing for a few moments, his body tensing as Jason moaned in his sleep slightly. He shifted, rubbing his mouth against Reid's cheek. Jason then settled into stillness again and Reid breathed a sigh of relief.

"You still awake?" Jason said softly. Reid quickly closed his eyes, trying his best to feign sleep. Jason lifted his head to examine Reid's face. He smiled slightly when he saw Reid had his eyes closed. Jason wasn't stupid, he knew when someone was faking it. His smile broadened. "Well I guess if he's asleep, he won't mind if I do this then."

He ran his hand down Reid's front, Reid sucked in his stomach and tensed. His hand moved to stop the progression of Jason's. He opened his eyes, knowing he'd been caught out, but not particularly caring. Reid sighed. Did Jason ever give him a break?

"I can't sleep." Reid said quietly with a hint of accusation in his voice.

"I slept very well." He stroked Reid's face and then turned it to kiss him on the lips. Jason breathed in Reid's scent as he did so. He let out a satisfied moan against Reid's lips. Reid didn't react. "Not fighting me now, Spence?" Jason smiled, looking deep into the young man's eyes.

Reid sighed.

"What's the point?" He turned his face away, avoiding Jason's predatory glare.

Reid's face was forcefully pulled back towards Jason's and he playfully bit Reid's bottom lip. Again, Reid didn't react, just closed his eyes for a short moment.

"Because I like it." Jason growled, clearly irritated by Reid's lack of reaction.

"Of course you do, you're a sexual sadist who gains arousal through the pain and exploitation of your victims. You like to dominate, because it makes you feel important in a world that otherwise ignores your existence. You struggle to make waves in your professional life, working in an office where you have gone unnoticed for the largest part of two years. Rejected from the BAU as an agent, few friends to speak of, no relationships, no parents. It's hardly surprising you need to force someone to be intimate with you. It's the only way you can feel in control." Reid said calmly, with no emotion in his voice. He clearly wasn't scared right now.

Anger flashed in Jason's eyes and he grabbed Reid by the throat. Reid flinched, Jason tingled slightly at the sight. But soon Reid was calmly looking him straight in the eye. Then Jason flipped.

"You think you know what dominating is, kid?" Jason quickly stood, dragging Reid up by his throat. He winced as his body complained. "You're gonna regret the day you ever fuckin' went there." He pushed Reid over towards the bed, again Reid made no effort to fight. He was definitely scared, but his body didn't have the energy to keep the adrenaline pumping around his body at such a rate. Something had to give. He grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, he pushed Reid forwards and down onto the bed. His face pressed firmly into the mattress. He cried out slightly as his body ached and twinged. Jason was stood behind him and leaned over to lick his cheek. "Shut up, Spence."

"All you're doing is proving the profile correct." Reid said a little faster than he would have liked. Jason pushed the back of Reid's gown open and rubbed himself up against him. "You're doing this because you want an ego boost. This isn't even about intercourse." Reid tried to keep his voice calm and level, as difficult as that was.

Jason groped around Reid's body then readied a finger at his entrance.

"No, Spencer? Not about intercourse?" He asked curiously, teasingly.

"No, this is about-" Jason inserted his finger and Reid lifted his body off the bed in a gesture of extreme discomfort, but he desperately tried to keep talking. "T-this is about power. Most of the time-" Jason inserted another finger and Reid's hands grabbed at the mattress desperately trying to alleviate some of his discomfort. Reid stuttered. "Most of the time," Reid continued undeterred. "A man doesn't even have to be homosexual to attack another man. It's often less about the victim and more about the attacker."

"Well I can assure you, Spence." Jason inserted another finger making Reid's back arch. "I am most definitely homosexual. And this is _all_about you." He leaned over his victim, pushing his weight onto Reid's neck so his face was painfully pushed into the mattress. Jason nibbled and licked at Reid's ear.

"You can't even see how pathetic this is, can you?" Reid said with a little desperate laugh. His body arching again as Jason manoeuvred the fingers inside him.

"I can see how pathetic you are. Pushed into a mattress, writhing underneath my touch and doing nothing to stop it." Jason snarled.

Reid dug his fingers deeper into the mattress, that comment stung.

"What's the point in fighting if you'll only enjoy it more?" Reid snapped.

"Ah, so that's what you're doing then." Jason smiled, licking at Reid's ear again and speeding up the movement of his fingers. Reid's face contorted. "I will enjoy this anyway, Spencer. Have no doubt about that." He bit Reid's ear again. "I'm gonna take my time with you. Show you what control _really_ means. And I'm not gonna stop 'til you're begging me to." He withdrew his fingers from Reid quickly and then rolled him onto his back, pinning his arms down. He lay on top of Reid and kissed him hard. "Think that'll make me feel 'important' doctor?"

Tears stung at Reid's eyes. Jason was always one step ahead of him, no matter what tactic he tried. Blinking the tears away quickly before Jason saw them, he went to speak as Jason caught his mouth with another bruising kiss.

"No speaking, Spence." Jason breathed against the younger man's mouth.

Reid was stuck in a confused position. Did he follow Jason's orders? Or keep trying to throw him off with observations about his personality? He had never felt so confused by a person before. The exhaustion was starting to mess with his abilities.

When Jason lunged in for yet another kiss, this time he deepened the kiss with his tongue. Reid couldn't help the automatic reaction to bite down. Not hard. He didn't want bloodied tongue in his mouth, but just enough to give Jason a warning. Jason quickly pulled away, his eyes flashing angrily. He smacked Reid hard across the face and he cried out as his fractured cheek bone met with Jason's hand. "You wanna bite like a dog? You can be treated like a dog." He grabbed Reid by the hair and pulled him to the head of the bed. Reid tried desperately not to fight, refusing to spur Jason on. "You can wear this."

Reid looked to Jason's hand. He was holding a collar attached to a long chain, which in turn was attached to the bed. His eyes opened wide.

"You can't be serious." Reid said in shock. Jason suddenly thrust the collar around Reid's neck and clamped it shut. Reid grabbed at it trying to loosen it, but it was no use. It was locked tightly in place. Jason then yanked hard at the chain, making Reid choke. He coughed and Jason used the distraction to pin down Reid's arms and buckle them to the bed.

He took Reid's mouth into another brutal kiss.

"No speaking, I said." He then covered Reid's mouth with his hand as he started kissing and groping all over Reid's body. Reid put up no resistance. "You just gonna keep still through _all_ of this?" He leaned over Reid's face, mouth still covered. Reid just stared back at him. Jason smiled. "Brave choice, Spence." He then reached his free hand between the young man's legs, causing Reid to jump slightly and his eyes to open wider slightly. Jason smirked, staring deep into Reid's eyes. "But I guarantee you, that won't last long."

* * *

><p>Prentiss and JJ entered the gym to be met by the manager Steve.<p>

"Hi again." He said confidently. He moved to shake Prentiss' hand and then JJ's.

"Agent Jareau. We spoke on the phone." She introduced herself.

"Ah. Nice to finally put a face to the name." He smiled. She returned it. "Come into my office. I'm not really sure how much help I am going to be to be honest. Like I said last time, I really don't know that much about Jason at all."

"Anything you can tell us will be helpful." JJ nodded, moving to sit down next to Prentiss at the man's desk.

"What can you tell us about his daily routine?" Prentiss asked.

"Well, from what I can gather, he must finish work at about five or six 'o clock. He comes here as often as he can, usually at around half past six. But like I say, that's as often as he can. He doesn't have set days or anything. He'll often come at the weekend too. Especially when there are any events going on."

"You said he helps out a lot with any events here, right?" Prentiss thought back to their earlier conversation.

"Yeah, he's really very helpful." Steve smiled. He clearly thought a lot of Jason. "Have you not managed to find him yet?"

"We really can't go into any details, sir." JJ said strongly.

"Did he ever show any aggressive behaviour towards anyone here? Particularly men who would be considered perhaps more physically imposing, doing well for themselves in their career? Anyone like that?"

Steve furrowed his brows and shook his head.

"Like I've said, he really is a stand-up guy." He smiled.

"Do any of the staff here ever work around him?" Prentiss asked.

"No." Steve said suddenly. "He's not an employee."

"I know," Prentiss raised her eyebrows, "but if he's a regular helper, then surely they have had some interactions with him?"

"Not likely." Steve said. "He keeps himself to himself."

"So the only person he has ever spoken to here, is you?" JJ looked at him sceptically.

"Pretty much." He shrugged his shoulders, not looking entirely comfortable with the line of questioning.

Prentiss furrowed her brows at the man opposite her. He was clearly hiding something and she wanted to know what. She suspected they knew each other a lot better than he was making out.

"Mr. Kent. Were you and Jason Turner romantically involved?" She said strongly, not afraid to ask the question.

"What? You must be joking!" Steve scoffed, looking horrified at the suggestion. "I'm a married man, Agent!"

"It wouldn't be the first time that a married man has cheated on his wife with someone of the same sex."

"No, I'm sure it wouldn't be, Agent Prentiss. But I can assure you, my interests lie only in the fairer! I can assure you, I have never had a relationship with Jason Turner and I'm, frankly, offended at the suggestion!"

"What is it you're not telling us then, sir?" JJ asked. Any light was completely gone from her eyes right now, she was tired of this man messing them about.

"What do you mean, what am I not telling you?" Steve was clearly frustrated now. His temperament was a lot different to how he had been a few moments ago.

"You're being very defensive, Mr. Kent. If you are not willing to speak to us here, perhaps a visit to the local station might jog your memory a little?" Prentiss smiled. Not taking any crap from him. His eyes opened wide at the suggestion.

"Okay, okay! Fine! Look, there was a guy who used to work out here a few months ago. Drove a nice car, had a good job. He was a big guy, he worked out a hell of a lot. He never liked Jay. He started making up all sorts of crap about him because he found out he was gay. Jay was walking around with his hands in his pockets all the time, you know? The guy just made things difficult for him, so I told him where to go. He didn't come back again and that was that. No one's mentioned it since, but the staff still keep their distance. It pisses me off, but Jason doesn't seem to bother."

"Did you ever see Jason talking to this guy?"

"No. He genuinely kept his distance. That's what was so ridiculous. Jay just dropped that picture of his boyfriend one day and then it all kicked off. The guy was just a homophobic ass." Steve rolled his eyes.

"Jason had a boyfriend?" JJ questioned.

Before Prentiss could cut in, Steve answered.

"Yeah, you guys have a photo of him. That skinny kid, right?"

JJ furrowed her brows and went to answer, when Prentiss put a hand on her arm, effectively cutting her off.

"Can you remember this guy's name?"

"Yeah... I think... I think it was Roger Lineman." Prentiss nodded to JJ, taking out her phone. She went to ring Garcia. "That kid's not Jason's boyfriend, is he?" Steve asked JJ with a concerned look on his face.

JJ looked at the man, her eyes sad and full of worry.

"No, sir... No he's not." She felt like telling him all about what his friend was capable of, but knew it wasn't professional and would most certainly influence any information he had about Jason. So JJ decided to keep quiet about the relationship between the two. "Is there anything else you can tell us about Jason? Anything at all? Whether there was anywhere in particular he liked to socialise, or someone he liked to visit? Anything like that?"

He shook his head sympathetically.

"I'm sorry. Like I said, the guy's a bit of a mystery to me really. We get on really well, but we don't discuss personal stuff. I dunno, sometimes you just meet people like that, you know? You can talk to them for hours but when you think about it, you've not really talked about anything at all. I guess that's us. I'm sorry."

JJ smiled a disappointed smile. It seemed as though Jason was something of a ghost.

"JJ." Prentiss summoned her towards the door where she had clearly just come off the phone from Garcia. JJ glanced to Steve, nodding slightly out of politeness as she excused herself. Prentiss spoke in hushed tones. "Looks as though we may have found one of Jason's practise victims. Roger Lineman was found dead three months ago down an alley way. Clear blitz attack. Throat was cut and he'd been stabbed."

"His victims must all have some sort of personal connection to him." JJ pointed out.

"Or have pissed him off in some way." Prentiss added.

"We should get back and keep searching for any victims who may have had a connection to the gym or to the Coffee Stop. Jason obviously wanted us to look at those two places, so maybe there is more information to get out of them."

"I wouldn't hold your breath." Prentiss said dryly. JJ shot her a warning look. She didn't want this negativity when it came to saving Reid's life. Prentiss merely shrugged her shoulders, continuing on her negative thought path. "He wanted to be caught the first time. But now, he's leading up to his end game. Chances are, he's cut all ties with those places. They've served their purpose."

"Excuse me." Steve suddenly interrupted the conversation. "Do you know the kid in that picture?" He looked at the two agents searchingly. JJ's face gave it away. "Is he a friend?"

"And colleague." JJ sighed.

Steve furrowed his brows, clearly not liking what he had heard. He quickly changed the subject.

"Is there anything else you need from me?" Steve asked casually.

"Actually sir, if we could take a look at your CCTV footage from the days when Roger Lineman was last here, that would be a great help." JJ smiled at Steve, he didn't smile back.

"What exactly would you be looking for?" He asked seriously.

"We would just like to establish what might have happened the week leading up to you asking him to leave." Prentiss replied, slightly irritated by the man's apparent nosiness.

"Well... erm, I'm sorry, you can't."

"We can't?" JJ questioned, surprised.

"No. I've not saved them... They're gone."

"Mr. Kent, we can get a warrant and come back at a more convenient time, if you like? Or you can co-operate now and make life a lot easier for us all. We are not trying to invade your personal life. We just want to know what happened." Prentiss tried carefully.

"And I've told you what happened." Steve said plainly.

"We just want to see if there is anything that can help with our investigation." JJ lowered her voice and softened her eyes. "Please, a young man's life depends on it."

Steve's expression softened in return and he looked as though he had been convinced.

"I'm sorry agents. I really want to help you. But I just don't have the tapes. I'm really sorry." He then moved past them, grabbed JJ's hand and shaking it. Then moving to Prentiss. "Is there anything else?"

Prentiss' gaze hardened.

"No, that's all for now Mr. Kent. Thank you for your time."

She nodded and turned on her heel, leaving the gym. JJ was right behind her. They went straight to the SUV and sat in it.

"What's he got to hide?" JJ said, looking back to the gym.

"I don't know, but he sure as hell isn't gonna like this warrant." Prentiss replied.

"Do you think he knows where Reid is?" JJ asked, concern evident in her eyes.

"It's unlikely." Prentiss answered honestly. "But there's definitely something on those tapes that he doesn't want us to see."

"He's just going to destroy them isn't he." JJ said forlornly. "Do you ever get the feeling that something just isn't going to end well?" JJ looked out of the window, tears gathering in her eyes.

Prentiss didn't say anything. Theyall knew time was running out and finding Reid was looking less and less likely. She didn't have the heart to deny it any more. Things didn't look good.

* * *

><p>"Please. Please stop." Reid breathed out, exhausted.<p>

"What?" Jason asked, also panting. Teasing his victim.

"Please." He barely managed to say the word. His body was so tired. Jason hadn't left him alone for what must have been a good hour. How Jason kept going seemed impossible. Reid could only assume, although he didn't like to think about such things, that he had given himself a little assistance.

At first Reid hadn't fought, trying reverse psychology. That didn't work. So he tried fighting, trying to exhaust Jason into stopping. That didn't work. That only served to tire him into submission. So Reid had started begging hoping that Jason would keep true to his word that it would be the only thing that would stop him. It hadn't. Reid had been begging on and off for the last 20 minutes. But still Jason teased him. If Jason wasn't raping Reid, he was being pleasured by him, or giving 'pleasure' to Reid, or he was just exploring every part body with his hands, mouth, any part of him. Making sure he'd owned every inch. This is what Jason was doing now.

Reid rolled himself away slightly, turning onto his side and putting his face into his hands. He burst into tears, the breath sounding harsh in his throat.

"You said you'd stop." He weeped.

Jason grabbed Reid gently by the wrists and rolled him onto his back, trying to move the hands away from his face.

"Did I?" He whispered. Reid couldn't bring himself to answer verbally, he just started sobbing and nodded his head from behind his hands. Jason pulled Reid's hands away from him face, but Reid screwed his eyes shut in upset and turned his face away from Jason. Holding his wrists with one hand and pulling him face towards him with the other, he whispered. "Open your eyes, Spence... Unless you want another hour with me." Reid's eyes automatically opened. The tears escaped his down his face. "You talk about knowing your 'unsubs'. Using words like 'dominating' and 'controlling', thinking that you can control me with them" He whispered. He then looked Reid, dead in the eye, his gaze hard and threatening. A look Reid hadn't seen in him before, it made his blood run cold. "I know what dominating is. Now so do you. You don't control me with your words, Reid. I tell you to beg... you beg. Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop." He grabbed his face hard, making the young man wince. "Understood?" Reid's face crumpled up again and he nodded. Jason had even called him Reid. He was clearly in no mood for pleasantries. "Good boy." He said, tapping Reid's cheek. He then fingered thoughtfully at the collar around his neck for a few moments. Reid froze, swallowing thickly.

Jason then suddenly climbed off the bed and collapsed into the corner of the room. Reid lay shaking on the bed, hardly daring to breathe.

"Get some sleep." Jason said, his voice dead.

* * *

><p>Jason suddenly heard a strange knock at the door. It was seven knocks, wrapped out in the beat of a tune. He raised his eyebrow. He hadn't been expecting this. He stood, moving slowly over to the door and gently opened it, peering cautiously through the newly created gap.<p>

Upon seeing the person outside, he visibly relaxed and opened the door, allowing the other man inside. Taking a quick, precautionary glance outside, seeing everything was okay, Jason quickly locked the door behind him before turning his attention to his guest.

"What are you doing here?" He said with a slight smile.

The other man was stood over Reid, looking down at his sleeping form.

"Come to see what all the fuss is about." The man smiled down at Reid, pushing some hair back behind his ear. "I'll tell you something Jay, you don't disappoint."

Jason shifted uncomfortably, looking at the man, incredibly confused.

"Is everything alright?" Jason asked, sheepishly.

"Is everything alright?..." The man slowly approached Jason. "Not really Jay, no." He stopped still again. "I've had the Feds on my back for the last couple of days. Maybe you wanna explain why?"

Jason's eyes looked nervous and unsure. He didn't answer.

"Is he a Fed?" The man said, gesturing to Reid. "IS HE A FED?" He suddenly shouted at Jason. Reid was startled out of his sleep by the loud voice. He jumped when he saw the second man in the room.

"Yes! Yes he is!" Jason said quickly, looking over to Reid who was now staring back at him wide eyed. Confusion clear on his face.

The other man followed Jason's gaze and turned to find Reid's eyes open. Fear shining in their hazel depths.

"What the hell were you thinking?" The man said, his gaze still resting on Reid. The young man shifted uncomfortably. The man then turned back to Jason. "They are getting a warrant, Jason. A fucking warrant. They wanna know what I'm hiding. I said, if you were gonna fuckin' do this, you had to keep the cops away from my door!" Reid looked between the two men, clearly Jason was involved in a lot more than was originally thought. "I could lose everything thanks to you. And I ain't even made any fuckin' money outta this one!" He gestured again to Reid. Reid paled.

"We never agreed you were gonna take him, Steve." Jason argued back.

"No. But we never agreed that the Feds would come poking into my business either, did we, Jay?" Steve shouted. Jason flinched, he was clearly subservient to Steve. "This is what is gonna happen now Jason. You are gonna get the hell out of my premises, right now and you're gonna find somewhere else to have your fun with this kid. You ain't using my premises and drawing attention to my dealings without payment any more. Now get the hell out."

Reid was in shock, he stared between Jason and this Steve man, a feeling of hope fluttered in his chest. He knew Jason had no where else to go.

"The Feds won't find anything on you Steve! You make all your transactions untraceable, geez, I know that, believe me, I've looked!"

"It's too late Jason..." Steve moved towards Reid and he scooted back on the bed, distancing himself from the larger man. "I'll tell you what, why don't you let me take the kid off your hands? Make things easy for you. You can just go home, pretend like nothing's happened."

"But I thought you didn't want any part in this?" Jason said, confused.

Steve grabbed the chain around Reid's neck and pulled him close. He had no other option but to crawl towards the other man. His heart was pounding in his chest. Jason was unpredictable, but at least he knew him well enough to know he was unpredictable. This guy was a complete unknown and that was terrifying. Jason eyed the pair carefully. He clearly wasn't happy with this.

Steve turned to Reid who was shaking, and stroked his cheek.

"You're even nicer than your photo suggested." Steve licked his lips suggestively.

Reid found his gaze darting to Jason for help, as nonsensical as that was. Jason's eyes opened wide.

"You planned this all along." Jason gasped.

Steve looked at him, searching his face.

"Jason, you are kidding right? This is what we do! You know that! You get the guys, I pay you, then we move on." Reid's mouth dropped open as he looked between the pair. This was obviously some sort of illegal sex ring.

"But you knew this was different Steve." He pulled Reid's chain out of Steve's hand and dragged the young man towards him and off the bed. Reid had no choice but to follow and kneel beside him, wincing as he did so, his body was so sore.

Steve laughed.

"Why? Because we're friends? Give me a break, Jay! Business always comes first and that kid could make me a fuckin' fortune! You know that." He pointed to Reid and he found himself moving behind Jason somewhat. If he got lost inside an illegal sex ring, the team would most likely never find him.

Jason moved forward, challenging Steve.

"No, you said you would give me the space to spend time with him!"

"And I have." Steve retorted coolly. "But now it's time to give him to me."

"I can't believe you've done this to me." Jason said moodily.

Reid looked up at Jason in disbelief and then burst out laughing manically. Both men turned to look at him, exchanging confused glances.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?" Jason snapped, turning to the young man kneeling beside him.

"Ironic isn't it?" Reid still kept laughing, but it wasn't a healthy laugh. It was the laugh of someone who had been through far too much and couldn't see things getting much worse. He clearly wasn't happy.

"What do you mean it's fuckin' ironic?" He pulled Reid up by the collar so he was looking up at him. Steve watched the pair with intrigue. Jason had clearly grown far too attached to the young man. He needed to change that if he was ever going to make some money out of the young agent.

"Well, I thought you were my friend... and you betrayed me. Funny that the same thing should happen to you. If I believed in such a thing, it could almost be karma." Reid's voice despite the laughter, was completely dead. He took great pleasure in Jason's screw up, but it didn't show. His emotions were no longer connecting. Jason's whole body tensed and he pushed Reid sideways violently using the collar. He knelt menacingly over the young man, his face full of venom. He took the breath from Reid's lungs momentarily.

"I don't know why you're laughing, Spence. It's you who's gonna be passed around a brothel like a peace pipe." Reid's gaze darted over to Steve who simply smiled and nodded in agreement. "Oh yes," Jason snarled. "They would love you." He moved dangerously over Reid but Steve grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Jay, you alright?" Steve looked at him, concerned. Jason did not seem stable.

"Course I'm fucking alright." He grabbed Reid's chain again. "Have you seen this?" He yanked on it slightly, making his point. "This is a fuckin' dream."

Reid kept his gaze to the floor. He was deeply ashamed, he felt like a piece of meat.

"Okay Jason." Steve took his shoulders and slowly moved him away from Reid. "Sit down for a minute. You're lookin' a bit strung out."

Jason looked at Steve taken a back slightly. But then nodded and moved himself over to the chair in the corner. Steve then moved his way back towards Reid who glanced at him nervously. When the man reached down and grabbed him under the arms, Reid flinched away. Steve pulled him up to his feet and sat him on the bed. Reid winced as he did so.

Steve then sat next to Reid, eyeing him carefully. Reid kept his gaze low still, trying to ignore the look. Steve then lifted his gaze to Jason.

"He's pretty." Steve said, nodding like he was looking at some prize.

"Yep." Jason smiled. "Pretty boy." Reid's gaze shot up to meet Jason's, his brows furrowed at the nickname. He tightened his lips into a thin line as he often did when he was nervous or upset and glanced back down. "I'm obviously not the only one who thinks so either, am I, Spence?" That was clearly a dig at Morgan. Reid didn't respond. This frustrated Jason a little. Steve cut in.

"But you keep treating him like this and he won't be for long. You gotta take it slow, be gentle." He stroked Reid's face. Reid just closed his eyes, shifting away slightly. He was in a different world now. What he wanted no longer mattered. So what was the use in fighting?

"Don't touch him." Jason eyed Steve dangerously.

"What is your aim here, Jason?" Steve asked confidently. "You ain't givin' him to me, I know that. I couldn't take him anyway, he's hot property. But what do you plan on doing with him? You can't keep him here."

Jason just shrugged his shoulders.

"We both know where this is going, Steve. There's no way I'm getting out of this state with him." Jason said calmly. "I've come to terms with that."

Reid just sat staring at the floor, listening to the men talking about his death.

"So you gonna do it tonight?" Reid didn't even flinch. Something strange was happening with him. He almost found the thought a comfort.

"Well I had planned on it." Jason said pointedly to Steve. Blaming him for his intrusion.

"Look man, if you're gonna do it, you've gotta do it properly. And I can get you out of here, no problem. But you can't just do this on a spur of the moment thing. There's preparations you've gotta make, loose ends you've gotta tie up... his body can't turn up here. I wanna keep this place."

Jason was getting frustrated now.

"I know! I know!"

"And not to mention the fact that you really don't wanna do it right now." Steve said softly. Jason looked at him and then to Reid. He almost looked sad. "You've grown attached. I can see that, man. It happens."

Reid glanced up for a short moment, finding the statement a bit odd.

"Look man, I can see that you need some more time and I'm willing to give it to you. I'm not a bad guy, you know that, I'll look out for my friends. Hell, I'll get you out of the country and as far away from the FBI as you fancy."

Jason stood, moving quickly towards Steve.

"Oh god, Steve, thank you so much, man."

"You gotta make sure everything's planned and dealt with, okay? I don't want any of this shit leading back to me. The FBI are already too close for my liking."

"I will sort it... everything." Jason said eagerly. Grateful for the extra time.

"But..." Steve said, standing up and looking Jason straight in the eye. "You gotta do something for me."

Jason's brows furrowed he looked at Steve confused. Reid gazed at the man knowing what was coming but showing little reaction. He was numb.

"What?... Anything." Jason answered.

"Anything?" Steve smiled. "Good answer." Jason then looked concerned. Steve licked his lips and turned to Reid, who was now moving backwards, his tired eyes just slightly more alive than they were a few moments ago. He glanced between to Jason for help. Steve moved towards him smiling. "Come here, Pretty boy."


	19. Chapter 19

**Oooooh, here's the next chapter! Fast I know, I've impressed myself, honestly ;) I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with it, let me know if it seems a little rushed. I think it might. But anyway, I hope you enjoy :) Thank you once again for all of your reviews, I would love some more :P Keep reading, hope you ENJOY!  
><strong>

**WARNINGS: ****The usual, non-con, violence, gore (in this chapter), character death... did I really say that****? Woops!**

Hotch, Morgan and Rossi sat in silence in the conference room. The lights were off and they felt no need to switch them back on. They had not said a word to each other since they stopped the tape. Which was when they had arrived finding Jason with a gun to Reid's head. They had watched at least three hours of their colleague being beaten, raped and then locked in a tomb like hole in the floor, suffering through his worst fear of the darkness and small spaces, begging for an ounce of kindness. All for the sick pleasure of someone else. And still, they had nothing that could help them.

Hotch felt dangerously close to being sick. He knew he must have looked pale. Watching this tape had been in vain and any wishes he had held to at least know what had happened to their colleague had now completely dissipated. He wished he'd never known, he wished he could erase those memories from his mind forever.

Morgan was feeling much the same. He felt so angry that he could barely function any more. He was just devastated for Reid. The frustration he felt whilst watching that tape would not settle. He just wanted to turn back time so badly, to rescue Reid from the man who had done this to him. He hated Jason. But most of all, he hated himself right now. He had been the one that Reid had tried to protect by going back to Jason. So he was to blame that he was there with him now. He knew that feeling would stay with him for a lifetime.

Rossi just felt incredibly sad. He had seen a lot of things in his time, and he was getting to a point where nothing could shock him any more. But seeing someone he knew in that position, Reid in particular, was very hard. Rossi always respected and admired Reid, but never took him too seriously. He would often feel slightly irritated by his 'know-it-all' attitude and other times would just make fun of him because of it. Under normal circumstances, that wouldn't bother him. But now he was thinking of every time he'd ever done or said anything that Reid could take badly. He knew it was ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. Guilt was playing on his mind a lot. The rest of the team had put a huge emphasis on protecting Reid, he was the only one who didn't so much. He couldn't help but wonder, if he had, would things be different now?

A knock came quietly at the door. Garcia poked her head around. She furrowed her brows at the darkness in the room and switched on the light.

"Everything okay in here?" She said gently, noticing how ill the men sat in front of her looked.

Hotch ran a hand over his face, trying to regain his composure.

"Yes." He sighed. "Come in, what is it?"

"I thought you were watching it again. I didn't think it would take that long." Garcia said sheepishly. She had avoided entering the room three times now. "I told JJ and Emily to have a look at the possible victims to see if they thought anyone matched the victimlogy. We also have a name for one of the guys we think Jason might have killed."

Garcia suddenly had their interest. They all turned, intrigued to see who she was talking about.

"Roger Lineman. He went to the gym where Jason used to go all the time. JJ and Emily said that Lineman knew Jason was gay and made sure that everyone around him knew it too, so he wouldn't be trusted by other men in the gym."

"Did he fit the victimology?" Hotch asked.

"He was a big guy, drove a nice car, director of some manufacturing company... if that's what you mean."

"How was he killed?" Morgan asked.

"His throat was cut." Garcia said simply, pulling her face.

"Certainly sounds like Jason." Rossi said.

"We need to speak to this Steve again, get any information we can on what happened." Hotch said.

"This is where the problems arise." Prentiss said, confidently walking in with a small pile of folders. JJ was quickly in behind her. Everyone turned to look at the pair who had seemingly come out of nowhere. "Speaking to Steve is useless. He claims he barely knows Jason, they're 'friends but not really friends' sort of friends. So he's claiming to know very little. So we asked to see footage from the CCTV cameras from the last few times Roger Lineman was in the gym just to watch the exchanges between him and Jason.. and guess what?"

"He doesn't have them." Morgan said flatly.

"Get a warrant." Hotch said seriously.

"We've applied for one, but it'll take a while." JJ said, her voice depressed. "I've seriously pulled some strings to get a rush on it, but it's still taking longer than I'd hoped. The paper work alone took long enough." JJ sighed.

"But on a more positive note," Prentiss said with a small smile, "we seem to have narrowed down the victim pool."

"To how many?" Morgan asked.

"Thirty possible victims in the last ten years, taking into account D.C and Virginia." Prentiss replied quickly, pushing the folders into the middle of the table.

"Assuming he's not crossed state lines." JJ said, rolling her eyes. This was obviously a discussion they had done many rounds, as Prentiss just shook her head.

"How many have we got in Virginia?" Rossi asked, noting the pile.

"Eight possibles in the last two years." JJ replied.

"Eight?" Morgan gasped. "Eight victims?"

"Possibles, Morgan. Not definite." Hotch reassured him.

"We came to the conclusion at the gym that Jason has most likely crossed paths with his victims at some point before killing them. Or how else would he know that they fit his type?" JJ questioned.

"And they may have all done something to annoy him, helping to convince him that killing was a necessity for his survival rather than an actual pleasure. Hence still having the need for a sexual release. Perhaps the killing wasn't giving him the pleasure he was hoping for." Prentiss suggested.

"But isn't that working backwards? Don't you always say sex offenders progress to killing? Not the other way round?" Garcia asked, the confusion clear in their voice.

"This is a very unusual case, Garcia." Rossi started, flicking through some of the victim files. "It's like the two needs are mutually exclusive. There's no sexual component, no stabbing, no overkill. No signature. Almost like he's a hired assassin or something. But the sexual component has to be there somewhere."

"Perhaps it's a compulsion?" Prentiss suggested.

"Not likely with someone like him." Rossi shook his head.

"Did you notice any compulsive behaviour whilst working with him?" Morgan asked Garcia.

"Compulsive? Like nervous ticks?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah... or anything he seemed like he had to do."

"No. No, nothing like that. Only thing I did notice is that he had one hell of a temper sometimes." The group looked at her, intrigued. "His computer would sometimes screw up and he had a tendency to kick it pretty hard. Not a lot. But just like once or twice."

"And would he calm down then?" Hotch asked, leaning forwards.

Garcia looked up thoughtfully for a moment and then back down to Hotch.

"Yeah. Almost instantly." She furrowed her brows, not quite understanding why the team looked like it all made sense.

"He has a lot of rage and he controls it well, with short bursts of anger. We saw that with Reid on the video, he would become incredibly annoyed, very quickly, but then the anger would be dispelled. A bit like his kills, he gets a control thrill from it, but he it's fast, like it instantly relieves his rage." Rossi commented.

"But at his core, he's a control killer. He wants to control his victims because he feels that he's worthless. He goes after men like us because we rejected him, made him feel like he's beneath us." Hotch explained.

"But we watched that tape Hotch, a control killer wouldn't behave with Reid like he did. That is all about the fantasy. That isn't the profile of a power/control killer." Morgan shook his head. "What are we looking at here?" Morgan said, eyebrows raising. "He is a power/reassurance rapist who is also capable of power/control murder but managed to refrain from killing Reid, even though he was clearly acting out a fantasy that could have easily led to Reid's death. I don't get it. Why didn't he kill him?"

"Because he's not his type." Rossi said strongly.

"But a power/reassurance rapist with past experience of murder will almost always take it too far and kill their victim. You know that." Morgan snapped.

"I'm not pretending to understand it. I'm just saying, that's how it is. He murders one type, rapes another. I don't know why!"

Prentiss sat down, sighing loudly. This profile was confusing the hell out of them. She grabbed a couple of files.

"If we can find the men in here who might have been Jason's victims, we might be able to find a link to him, or some evidence of a dispute... or something. Anything that will help."

Hotch nodded.

"You're right, men who have wronged him would certainly be a fitting target. That's his issue with us and if he's using surrogates to relieve his feelings of rage then if somebody did something to annoy him and they fit his type, it would only be a matter of time before he struck."

"Like a ticking time bomb." Rossi added thoughtfully.

* * *

><p>Steve held Reid firmly by the chain around his throat, his body had been pushed down into the mattress for the last ten minutes whilst Steve explored his body. He just lay still, his eyes staring off like a ghost, lost to the world.<p>

During this time, Jason had been pacing up and down uncomfortably. He barely looked at what was happening on the bed. He took the odd glance here and there but never liked what he saw. He felt oddly possessive of Reid. He'd met a lot of young men during his time assisting Steve with his work, keeping his ear to the ground within the FBI. But none had ever done to him what Reid had done to him. It was inexplicable. Jason always knew he had sexually dominant side. He'd discovered that with Stephen years before. But he'd never acted on it. Was never given the chance. And he knew the Steve had seen that in him only two years ago when he'd moved to Virginia for the BAU. Jason was never quite sure how they'd found each other, but they always did say that people with common interests will often find each other somehow.

Of course, Steve had an inkling about Jason's murderous streak, but he never asked him about it. But when Roger Lineman suddenly turned up dead, Steve hadn't seemed surprised. In fact, he smiled and patted Jason on the shoulder. Jason supposed that it was always handy for a man like Steve to know a man like Jason. But Jason didn't doubt that Steve had his murderous streak too. And he didn't have a preference either. Anyone, male, female, young, old, big, small. It didn't matter. If they were in his way, they were in his way. And Jason was fully aware of that.

This thought crossed his mind as he looked at Steve straddling Reid. His blood boiled but he had to remain calm. A man like Steve goes missing and it's not just the police you would be answering questions to.

But he couldn't help it. Spencer was **his.** He'd worked hard on gaining his trust and planning this whole event for himself. Not so Spencer could be taken away from him by someone who never does any of the work. Jason spent his life manipulating and gaining the trust of seemingly weak people. That's what he did for Steve. Originally he thought it would be an ideal way of satisfying his sexual desires, but when it came down to it, they just didn't do it for him. Spencer was always there in the back of his mind. He was his perfect goal. He reminded him so much of Stephen it was unreal. But he was better than Stephen. Because he was strong and intelligent. Whilst Stephen was both of these things, he lacked the ability to put them into practise. And ultimately, that meant he was boring.

Spencer had been a challenge definitely worth taking. But he had let his psychopathic tendencies get in the way. Taunting the FBI, whilst it was a planned manoeuvre, he wished he hadn't bothered. He could have taken Spencer far from here by now. He also had to admit, he'd gotten carried away with his fists. The kid looked like shit right now and any chances of keeping him alive for a long period of time were slipping away. At some point he would need a hospital. So that had left Jason with the only option he now had. He had to kill him. Which again, was part of the original, not so well thought out, plan. But he would certainly make his name and the BAU would be talking about him for years to come. Which had been a lifelong dream to say the least.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a moan from Steve. He was running his hand down Reid's bare back and down to his buttocks whilst getting himself prepared. Jason furrowed his brows and scrunched up his face in disgust.

"Do you really have to?" Jason asked, pulling his face at Steve to show his disdain.

"Oh come on, Jason!" Steve laughed. "It's just a bit of harmless fun." He smacked Reid on the backside. The young man jumped very slightly, but was soon summoned back to a world of numbness, where his thoughts no longer registered his physical feelings. "You're acting like you've never seen it before." He winked jokingly at Jason and Jason faked a tight lipped smile back. Steve leaned over Reid then nuzzled into his ear, whispering. This brought Reid slightly out of his daze. "I bet Jason was gentle with you, whispering sweet nothings." Jason watched, his chest rising and falling heavily as Steve nuzzled at Reid, pressing against his backside with his erection. "Well I don't, pretty boy." He pulled away, ruffling Reid's hair. "I just get on with it." And he pushed into Reid. The young man barely reacted, just pulling his face slightly at the intrusion. Steve was a larger man than Jason and physically more intimidating, but he clearly didn't need the same power trip that Jason did. It was a more carnal desire that Steve was soothing.

He grunted as he increased the speed of his thrusts.

"Fuck! Jason, you chose well." Steve gasped, obviously enjoying himself.

He didn't notice Jason's tightly fisted hands and the anger burning in his eyes. He was furious that Steve would do this to him. He knew the thought that Jason had put into this whole plan. And he just wanted to use his power and influence to get a free ticket to Reid's body. As if he didn't have enough access to young men. Jason had provided him with enough. No, this was just a power thing. Steve wanted to show Jason who was boss. And he wasn't having any of it.

Pulling the knife out of his back pocket, Jason quickly came up behind Steve whilst he was busying himself playing with Reid's hair, and cut his throat.

Steve all of a sudden stopped thrusting and Reid felt his body go tense. It knocked him out of his daze when he felt a warm fluid running all down his back and spraying onto his face slightly. A desperate gurgling noise could be heard and Reid turned, nearly jumping out of his skin on the sight that presented itself. Blood was racing out of a long, large gash across Steve's neck. His eyes were wide and his hands had gone up to try and stem the bleeding, but it was useless. The blood was escaping too fast.

Reid's terrified mind was desperately trying to organise his thoughts as his body crawled away from the man, but very quickly Steve's body collapsed forward onto Reid. His eyes shot open wide and he thrashed and shuffled desperately to get out from underneath the dead man. The look in his eyes haunting him.

"Get him off me! Get him off me!" He begged desperately.

Jason simply moved quietly, depressively towards the pair and pulled Steve's dead body off Reid, discarding him carelessly to the floor.

Reid just stared down at the man in shock. His breath panting. Jason's hand came to his shoulder. This time he didn't flinch.

"I had to stop him, Spence... I had to." He said strongly as Reid looked up at him with a horrified expression. He then dropped his gaze back to the dead man again. He'd only seen someone die like that once. And it was by his own hand in a terrorism case. But that man had a complete look of calm on his face. Steve hadn't. It was horrific. However deserving he was of it.

Reid suddenly had an incredible urge to get himself off the bed. It was covered in blood, as was he. Noticing this, Jason helped him up, then to Reid's surprise, removed the collar from around his neck. This allowed him free movement around the room. Jason then left his side and walked to the far corner of the room where he dropped on the floor.

Reid stared at him curiously for a short while. This was his post-killing depression. Many books talked about this, many serial killers had described it. But not many had seen it. Reid realised he was one of those unfortunate people who would witness it, purely because he was never meant to survive. The thought started to depress him, and he soon found himself leaning against a wall and falling down to the floor. His gaze shifting to Steve's body and soon he was simply staring, in an almost catatonic like state.

Jason was now watching him. "You know I would keep you alive if I had the choice, don't you, Spencer?"

Reid furrowed his brows as he was staring at the fresh corpse. Then he slowly brought his tired gaze up to meet Jason's.

"Would you." He said, disinterested.

"I would... really." He stared hard into Reid's eyes. When Reid looked away, Jason felt another pang of anger. "Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you."

Reid just sighed, his shoulders heaving upwards and dropping like a child in a mood.

"You can't control your temper. You would always end up killing me anyway." His voice was quiet and sad, he nodded to himself, almost to reiterate his point. Any hope of survival was worthless, so there was no point even dwelling on it. Then he met Jason's gaze.

"What did I say to you, Spence about control?... Let's not go there, right?" Reid tightened his lips and furrowed his brows, remembering earlier. "It won't be long now, Spence." He said, getting himself up. He moved towards the young man and knelt down next to him. "I'm really gonna miss you." He brought the knife up to Reid's throat, teasingly. Reid sucked in a breath and he closed his eyes, his hands shaking in anticipation. "I knew you were scared of death." Jason said smugly. "Don't worry. I'll make it quick." He teased with the knife again. Reid still didn't breathe. "But first thing's first." He pulled the knife away and Reid instantly breathed a sigh of relief. He really didn't think he would be as scared as this.

Jason stood and from behind his chair in the corner, and to Reid's horror, he grabbed a video camera and a tripod. He set them up in the middle of the room. He then set the chair in front of the camera. He worked to figure out the best angle, messing around for a good minute. Then he pressed record and sat down. Reid watched him curiously.

"Hello Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Rossi, Prentiss, Jareau and my lovely Garcia. When you receive this tape, Spencer Reid will be dead."

* * *

><p>"Richard Pearson, aged thirty six, six foot five inches tall. Found with his throat cut down an alley way just over six months ago." JJ questioned.<p>

"That sounds promising." Rossi said. "Put him up on the board." The team all nodded in agreement. They now had four out of the eight victims in Virginia. "We need to build a geographical profile of where the bodies were found. We'll need to know if there were any connections between the victims themselves. See if there is a similar place they visited on the same day." Rossi turned to Garcia at this point.

"Yes, sir! On it." She said. Quickly, shuffling out of the room.

"I think we need a press conference." Hotch said simply.

"Are you serious?" JJ asked. "Could that not push him underground?"

"Underground? JJ he's not exactly dancing through the streets." Morgan said, irritated.

"I know, but couldn't it panic him into doing something stupid?"

"Only if he actually has access to a television. Looking at where he was keeping Reid last time, he certainly didn't have that. So it's probably safe to assume that he doesn't have that again." Rossi commented.

"We only need to find out if anyone recognises him from anywhere. We don't need to mention what he has done, we just need information about him." Hotch explained.

"Okay. I'll set it up." JJ nodded, pulling out her phone, as she did it started ringing. "Agent Jareau." She answered quickly, she nodded a couple of times listening to the voice on the other end. "Okay... yes... brilliant, thank you." She cut off the call and turned quickly to the team. "We've got our warrants. One for the gym and the other for his flat."

The team were automatically on their feet. Rossi quickly designated their tasks.

"Prentiss, Morgan you go to the gym. See what you can find there. Hotch and I will take the house. JJ you set up that press conference and we'll meet back here when we're done."

They all nodded leaving quickly, not wanting to waste any more time. Reid had already been gone long enough.

* * *

><p>JJ stood in front of the large crowd of reporters she had invited to the press conference. She felt incredibly nervous, but wasn't entirely sure why. She never really thought about the consequences a press conference could have for the victim. Now she did. She was nervous she would somehow make it worse for Reid, or somehow, get him killed.<p>

She cleared her throat to speak and then stood up to the microphones.

"I am Agent Jareau with the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI. We are wanting to speak to a man called Jason Turner in connection with a current investigation." She held up a photograph of Jason and the cameras quickly zoomed in. "He is six foot three inches tall and lives in the Virginia area. We are looking for information on his daily routine, where he might go, who he sees, what he does. If anybody has any information, however small, that may help us track him down, please contact us straight away." JJ then read out a helpline number. "It is extremely important that if you do see this man, you do not approach him. Just call the number provided. Thank you."

JJ then stepped away from the podium she was stood on, as reporters tried to swarm her. Asking all sorts of questions. She quickly hurried away from them, not wanting to answer anything. She ran towards the safety of the BAU offices and straight towards the elevator and pressed for her floor. When the doors closed, she broke down into shaking sobs. That had been the worst press conference she thought she'd ever have to give. She just hoped she hadn't made things worse for Reid.

When the doors opened on her floor, she noticed Hotch, Rossi, Morgan and Prentiss were all stood in the corridor, discussing something. She approached, quickly wiping her eyes.

"Press conference is done." She said shakily. They all turned to look at her, they looked rather pale.

"Good... you okay?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, just found this one hard, you know." She said with a small, upset smile. "Did you find anything at the gym or the flat?"

They all looked at her forlornly.

"No." Prentiss answered. "Not a thing. No CCTV footage, nothing. He's either destroyed it, or never had it in the first place."

"So where does that leave us?" JJ asked.

"Leaves us two days down the line, with nothing. That's where it leaves us." Morgan said angrily.

"Not totally true." Garcia suddenly entered the conversation. "It seems the victims don't visit the same places and have no real connection but they do actually visit similar sorts of places. They exercise a lot, drink a lot of coffee and socialise in swanky bars."

"Have you got the names of these places, Garcia?" Rossi asked.

"Sir, who you talking to?" She said with a smile, handing him a piece of paper with a list of locations the victims had visited. Rossi smiled slightly, looking at the extensive list. "I have highlighted the places the victims visited in the lead up to their deaths."

"Thank god for that." Prentiss said, sneaking a look at the extensive list.

"Did you find anything else on Steve, Garcia?" Hotch asked.

"No, nothing. He seems clean to be honest. Either that or he has a completely different life on the side." She said half joking.

Hotch just nodded thoughtfully, not happy with the answer Garcia gave. They just kept coming up empty.

"We need to start visiting these places-" Hotch said.

"Wait." Prentiss said quickly. A thought had clearly entered her mind. "Jason kept Reid in that old abandoned building, right?" They nodded, brows furrowed. "And he had absolutely nothing there aside from what he set up in the basement."

"Yeah?" Morgan said, waiting for the revelation.

"Well where did he get the food from?" They all looked at her suddenly. "Each of those meals looked freshly cooked, complete with a tray, hot drink. It was clearly warm the food. There was no sign of a microwave. So, where did he get his food from?"

Morgan started nodding.

"Well Jason lives on the other side of town. That would be too much of a risk."

"But who lives just a block away?" Prentiss asked.

Hotch and Rossi looked at each other.

"Steve." They said together, shocked that they hadn't thought about this when they were in his flat. Where Reid was being held originally was literally a stone's throw away.

"So we think Steve's in on this now?" Morgan said angrily.

"He may not even know what he's doing. Jason might have tricked him into helping without him even realising." Hotch said.

"Sir." Agent Anderson approached. Hotch turned. "This arrived for you a few moments ago. It was handed to the desk in reception." He handed a packet to him. On the front was scrawled in big black marker pen, 'AGENT HOTCHNER'. The writing was clearly Jason's.

Anderson stared at the packet for a few moments, knowing the predicament the team was in, he was intrigued to know what was inside. Hotch looked at him hard.

"Thank you, Anderson." He said firmly, meaning it as an order to leave. He did, quickly.

They all stared at the envelope as Hotch's slightly shaking hands fumbled with the sealed flap. He got it open and pulled out a tape. He breathed deeply as the team shared concerned glances.

Before they could even discuss it, Hotch was making his way over to the conference room. The team chased after him.

"Do we really need to watch that?" Garcia asked, desperately as Hotch shoved the tape into the player.

"He obviously wants us to." Morgan said.

"Do we really have a choice?" Hotch said in a highly irritated, angry voice. The team looked at him, slightly shocked. This was really getting to Hotch, that was becoming very clear. Trying to ease the tension, Rossi sat down.

"No... no we don't." He said gently.

The team all looked to him, then sighed, sitting down. Their nerves absolutely shot.

"I dont know if I can do this." Garcia said, shaking.

"You don't have to stay baby girl." Morgan said gently, grabbing her hand.

"I need to see if he's okay." She said, shaking her head.

The picture switched on, and Jason moved to sit in line with the camera lens.

_"Hello Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Rossi, Prentiss, Jareau and my lovely Garcia. When you receive this tape, Spencer Reid will be dead."_

They all gasped and looked at each other in panic.

"No!" Garcia said desperately.

_"But I thought I'd let him say his goodbyes. It's only fair isn't it. After all, I know how close he is to all of you."_ He said with a smile.

The screen then went to black.

The team couldn't say anything, they were too in shock. This couldn't be happening.

Then the camera turned back on and Reid was uncomfortably sat in front of it. He kept looking into it and shifting his gaze away. He had never liked cameras.

"Oh my god." Morgan said, taking in the state of his best friend. He looked terrible.

Reid took a glance over his shoulder. A voice could he heard, but it wasn't clear what it said. Reid nodded and looked back to the camera.

Reid stared into the camera, his lips and eyebrows twitched nervously. He swallowed, obviously trying to hold back his emotions. The team stared right back at him, devastated to see the state he was in. He was absolutely covered in blood, his bruises were dark and his face looked drawn and tired.

"Oh Reid." Garcia said sadly, tears sliding down her face.

His eyes were nervous and scared. Any signs of happiness had long since deserted them. He then dropped his gaze, furrowing his eyebrows for a second as he tried to think of what to say. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

_"Hey..."_ He said uncomfortably, his voice breaking slightly. He cleared his throat again. _"Hey... guys."_ His voice was a little stronger. He gave a quick lop-sided smile. _"Um... I suppose when you're watching this,"_ he cleared his throat again. _"I'll be, um... gone."_ He furrowed his brows again. Hotch looked around at his team. They were all distraught, even Rossi had his forehead resting in his hand, a deep frown marring his face. Reid continued. _"But uuuh, I have a few things that I... that I want to say... for the first time in my life... I'm uh, acting on feelings rather than logic and reasoning. So... make the most of it."_ He smiled slightly. He looked down, closing his eyes. _"Firstly, to my Mom."_ His voice broke again. He swallowed again, trying to push down the emotions that were clearly threatening to take over. _"I... I would appreciate it, if er, if you could pass on a message to her."_ He looked back into the camera lens, his eyes asking a favour. _"Tell her... that I love her."_ His eyes were starting to water up. _"And that... that I'm sorry I didn't write to her for a while. But... that I thought about her everyday... and that... I couldn't have asked for a better... kinder... or more loving person to be my Mom. And I really hope..."_ A tear escaped his eye. _"That she was as proud of me... as I was of her."_

A tear ran down Morgan's devastated face. He couldn't believe this was Reid saying goodbye. That this was the last thing he would ever see of his youngest colleague. Morgan's thoughts were interrupted when Reid's eyes suddenly became determined.

_"She can never see this. You must promise me that you will never show this to her... I don't want her to remember me like this... I want her..."_ He took a deep, shaking breath. _"I want her to think that... that I was happy..."_ Reid smiled slightly, a small laugh escaping his lips. _"Tell her I got hit by a car coming home from some place nice... or..."_ He trailed off, dropping his gaze to the floor again.

A small sob escaped JJ's lips and Rossi put his arm around her, his eyes full of unshed tears.

_"Just tell her it was quick... and I was happy."_ He nodded. _"Promise?"_ Reid said in a small voice, looking up into the lens again.

"Promise." Rossi said quietly.

_"Thanks Rossi."_ Reid gave a tight lipped smile to the camera. The team quickly glanced at Rossi in surprise. _"What? I am still a profiler you know._" Reid's attempt at a joke earned him a couple of small smiles from the group, which quickly turned into more tears. Reid then furrowed his brows again and looked down. He sat quietly for a good minute or so. The team sat in silence, just watching him, they couldn't tell if his eyes were open. Finally he looked up again, his face streaked with tears. His eyes opened and more escaped, tracing more lines down his face.

_"I'm sorry."_ Reid spoke in a broken voice. "_I'm so sorry to all of you... I didn't trust you. And I was stupid and wrong and..."_ His breath hitched. "_And I need you to know that... I don't blame you."_ He wiped some tears away from his eyes. His hand was covered in dried and fresh blood, some of which wiped across his cheek.

"Why's he doing this?" Morgan said, frustrated and upset. He was feeling angry with Reid for even feeling the need to mention his behaviour.

_"I pushed you guys away... and I'm so sorry. And I don't want you thinking that I... died..."_ His voice shook. _"Still mad at you."_

"Oh god." Garcia gasped, then broke down, sobbing.

_"I was so rude to you all... I just want you to know that... that I didn't mean it. I needed someone to blame and... and it was you..."_ His face became very serious and his voice steadied. _"And I know you will all be blaming yourselves. I didn't want to be stopped from leaving the hospital. So I made sure I wasn't. That's my fault. Not yours. So please, in my... in my memory... don't blame yourselves."_ The team all glanced at each other, at the mention of his memory. Morgan covered his eyes with his hand as tears escaped them.

Reid's gaze dropped again and the team watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took in a deep breath.

_"Garcia."_ She looked up in shock, her mouth falling open, listening intently. He breathed out, lifting his gaze again. _"You are... one of the kindest... most amazing and... and caring people I have ever met."_ She let out a distressed breath as the tears started anew. _"Every time I speak to you, you make me want to smile... and that's really a gift. That even when we've been in some of the darkest places, you always pull everyone through... You'll be an amazing Mom one day and even though they won't..."_ He took a shaky breath. _"They won't know who I am... You must always tell them that I thought any child of yours is the luckiest child in the world... and I'm a genius... so they can't argue."_ Garcia broke down into sobs.

_"Rossi."_ Reid continued. Taking another deep breath. Rossi's watery eyes shut for a moment as he tried to hold back the tears that were sure to come as Reid spoke to him. _"Working with you... has been a childhood dream come true... I... I never thought I would ever get to meet David Rossi."_ Reid smiled. _"But to actually get to know you... as a person as well as a professional... I can honestly say, has been my privilege."_ Reid's voice started to break again. _"You are nothing like I hoped you'd be..."_ Rossi furrowed his brows. _"You surpassed my expectations completely."_ Rossi's face twitched as he tried to keep his emotions under control. _"Every time I work with you, I feel truly respected..."_ Reid swallowed. _"And I can honestly say... you have..."_ A tear ran down Reid's face. _"You have been my role model."_ Reid dropped his head down to compose himself. Rossi turned away from the screen for a few moments and put his hand to his eyes. His shoulders shook slightly as he silently cried. They both composed themselves at the same time. Reid wiped his eyes and continued, his voice a lot stronger._ "Aside from the fame, you are the person I figured I would try to be like when..."_ Reid's eyes went slightly cold. _"When I was older... but... I-"_ Reid huffed, finding it difficult to say what he really wanted to say. _"Just know that you are and always will be my role model. You're a true gentleman and I have appreciated every second I've ever worked with you."_

Shaking his head in disbelief, Rossi tried to say something in return. But his voice wouldn't work. He was too upset. Prentiss put a hand on his shoulder.

_"Emily."_ Reid continued. _"You are the strongest woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing... and one of the most intelligent."_ Prentiss smiled, tears running down her cheeks. _"I will never forget the... the support you have given me over the years. You've always... always protected me... Even when I haven't wanted you to."_ Reid put his head down, trying desperately not to cry. But he couldn't stop himself. His hand came up to cover his eyes as he finally broke down. He turned away from the camera and looked to someone across the room.

_"Can I just..."_ He gestured that he wanted a break away from the camera.

_"No."_ Came the sharp response.

"For god's sake, give him a minute." Prentiss whispered.

Trapped uncomfortably in front of the camera, Reid turned further away from the lens to give himself some privacy. He didn't like crying in front of people. But he had done so much of it recently, he barely thought it mattered any more. He used to tell himself never to cry in front of anyone, and he'd stuck to that for most of his life. Dealing with bullies had taught him those skills. But now, as he was reaching the end of his life, he no longer cared. But he still kept a tiny bit of dignity by turning away.

_"Turn around."_ Jason said from off screen. Reid didn't move. Suddenly, Jason's body came into the camera's view. He grabbed Reid tightly by the hair, making him gasp. _"You'll fucking listen to me, Spence!"_ He pulled his head up so he was looking up at him. Reid made no move to fight him off. _"If not, then they'll be watching an entirely different kind of show."_ He ran his hand down Reid's cheek and traced his lips with his finger. Reid blushed, closing his eyes.

"He never stops." Rossi said in exasperation.

Tightening the hand in Reid's hair, he shoved him off the chair towards the camera.

_"GET BACK IN THE FUCKING CHAIR!"_ Jason screamed. Reid quickly got himself up and into the chair once again. This time he was facing the camera. His eyes nervous and embarrassed. _"Now you know the rules, Spence. Don't break them again. Or your team,"_ Jason leaned down so his face was in shot. He pulled Reid's head to one side and kissed into his neck. Reid closed his eyes, deeply ashamed. _"Will have..."_ He reached his free hand around onto Reid's chest and it worked it's way down his body. _"A completely different memory of you."_ Reid gasped again, screwing his eyes tightly shut.

Morgan looked away, sickened.

"Why's he not doing anything?" Morgan said in frustration.

"What's the point? The only control he has is what happens to him before... before" She was going to say 'he dies' but the words just wouldn't come. "... I would do the same thing." Prentiss said, sadly.

Hotch watched all of this with a stern expression. All he could think was how badly he had failed Reid. After Gideon left, he swore to himself he would protect Reid at all costs, but now, he was watching the young man coming to terms with his own death. It all seemed so unreal.

Jason suddenly released his captive.

_"Now... carry on. There's a good boy."_ He kissed him quickly on the cheek and rushed out of shot.

Reid was visibly shaken up. He breathed deeply for a good thirty seconds to calm his nerves.

_"Sorry."_ Reid said, his gaze nervously glancing up at the camera.

"He shouldn't be sorry." JJ said with a sob. Rossi once again, put his arm around her.

Reid kept his gaze low for the moment taking more deep breaths to remind himself of where he was before.

_"Emily..."_ His voice was hoarse. _"I just want you to know, that without you... I probably wouldn't be here, right now."_ Then he suddenly looked up at the camera. _"No, I don't mean **here**. But I mean... alive. You have been my... my saviour. On more than one occasion. How you repay someone for that, I guess I'll never know."_ Tears started to escape his eyes again. _"I just hope that telling you that you... you're friendship... everything you are... you've changed my life for the better. And when I thought that... that you were gone... you left a huge hole in my life. And I know I was angry... but I don't ever want you to think I didn't want you back..."_ He smiled, more tears running down his face. _"You've been the best big sister I could ask for. And I'll miss you."_ He nodded, wiping tears away from his face again with his bloody hand.

Prentiss looked to Garcia who was still weeping and finally she let her barriers down and cried.

_"JJ."_ Reid said quietly. JJ looked up almost in shock. She was dreading this.

"I don't know if I can do this." She whispered.

_"I know you're upset... but I really need you to listen... Please listen."_ JJ tried to compose herself as best she could._ "You know how I feel about you JJ... I trust you with my life. I feel a part of your family... You um... you are a true friend... I admire your strength but... but also your warmth. You're not afraid to be human... and that... that has taught me so much... And allowing me to be Henry's godfather... gave me one of the best days of my life."_ JJ broke out in a sob. _"I, um... I wish,"_ Reid's voice cracked with emotion again. _"I wish I could be around to watch him grow... to help him through school and... and see what sort of a man he grows into... But sometimes, things just don't work out that way... and life doesn't always go the way..."_ He stopped, taking his gaze away from the camera again, having a deep breath. _"I need you to find something, JJ. Go to my apartment, under my bed. There's something there."_ JJ glanced around at her colleagues, suddenly desperate to go to Reid's apartment. _"I was saving it for when Henry goes to school, so will you please give it to him then?"_ She nodded, more tears sliding down her face as she thought of a life without Reid. _"Tell him... that his godfather was very proud of him. And he can do anything he wants with his life... He's capable of anything. Please JJ... please tell him."_

"I will." She cried out, suddenly moving up to the screen and stroking Reid's face as she cried. She just wanted to comfort him. If he had to die, she didn't want him to have died alone with Jason. Was that too much to ask?

_"And please... don't ever tell him about this."_ Jason's laugh could be heard in the background. Anger flared up in JJ's eyes for a few moments. Reid tightened his lips obviously trying to ignore his tormentor. He leaned closer into the camera, his big hazel eyes staring right into the lens. _"If I can't be perfect in death, when can I be, right?"_ He gave a small nervous smile and leaned back again. He cleared his throat. _"You mean the world to me, JJ."_ Tears started running down his face again. _"And knowing that you..."_ He cleared his throat again. _"You have been such a big part of my life... for the last few years... it just... it gives me all the comfort I need... I really am the luckiest person in the world."_

JJ stroked the screen again, tracing his bruised cheek.

"Oh Spence." She doubled over crying hard. Prentiss stood up straight away and took her into a tight hug, trying her best to calm her down. The irony of what he had just said stuck in the front of their minds.

Reid then wiped all of his tears away. They waited with baited breath to see who he would address next.

_"Hotch."_ His voice was no more than a raspy whisper.

Morgan took a deep breath, he was being left til last.

_"I really don't know how to express how much you have given me... I was always told I could do anything when I was a kid... although I knew, in theory, I could... I never really believed I would... Your... belief in me... made my life worth living."_ His voice started to break again as the emotions welled up inside of him._ "I don't know how to ever repay you."_ Hotch's eyebrows twitched and water started welling up in his eyes. He brought his hand to his mouth, trying to shield himself. Reid's head dropped down and he breathed deeply again. Controlling his nerves. _"You are the strongest man I have ever met. After everything you've been through... being attacked... losing Haley... whilst also looking after Jack... and then all of us... I really don't know how you do it. You um... You lead by example... and..."_ Reid sniffed and wiped his eyes, trying to be strong. _"You couldn't have set me a better one... I just hope..."_ A sob suddenly broke from Reid's lips. He rubbed his eyes quickly in a stress. _"I just hope that... when you think of me... you'll think of me as a strong person... If I can be remembered as being even an eighth as strong as you are... I... would be happy."_

A tear slid down Hotch's stoic face. He couldn't believe Reid's life was ending like this.

_"And I know you'll blame yourself... But you can't... That is all I ask of you, Hotch... My... my last request, I suppose... Don't blame yourself."_ Reid stared hard into the camera, knowing that Hotch would take him seriously. He hated to guilt trip people, but if something good could come out of his death then this might be it. The team all looked to Hotch who was staring right back at Reid. Suddenly his face crumpled slightly and tears started leaking from his eyes. He turned away, finally sitting down at the table.

_"Morgan."_ Reid said, slightly apprehensively. Morgan's eyes looked up to meet Reid's, his jaw was set and his eyes shined with tears. _"I just want to say... how sorry I am... for everything. Don't argue."_ Reid said quickly. Morgan was just about to open his mouth to protest before he was cut off by his friend on the video. _"I let you down."_ Reid started crying again. _"It's taken me, all of this to... to realise how little I express how I feel. And that's why... why I pushed you away."_ Reid furrowed his brows. _"I had... all of these... feelings, that I couldn't understand or express... I was scared... Scared that... if I told you how I felt... I somehow wouldn't be me any more. If that makes sense? And I'm sorry."_

"You got nothing to be sorry for." Morgan replied, wiping his eyes. Appreciating Reid's honesty. They all knew that was his issue, but they would never have pulled him up on it.

_"Morgan..."_ Reid breathed out a shuddering breath. _"You are my best friend... I never liked that term... I always thought it was discriminatory... But I can't think of a more appropriate way of describing you."_ Morgan smiled slightly, he knew it was hard for Reid to express his feelings, so the fact that he was being so open was a real rarity. _"I've never had a best friend, 'til I... 'til I met you. And you... you seem to have this way of making me feel like... I'm normal."_ Reid breathed out an amused laugh. _"You taught me how to trust, Morgan... and that's the greatest gift that anyone's ever given me."_ Reid sat thoughtfully for a few moments. Morgan watched him intently. _"You've been like... a brother, to me."_ Morgan nodded, tears shedding again. _"You've had my back the whole time I've worked with you. And..."_ Reid lowered his head and sniffed. _"And I let you down. Instead of talking to you, I pushed you away and instead of trusting you, I ignored you."_ Reid looked into the lens. _"But I couldn't help it. I'm sorry. Morgan... I've told you some of my biggest secrets... I've laughed with you, I've argued with you, I've nearly died with you..."_ Suddenly he went very quiet. _"I know you're angry. And I know..."_ He looked sheepishly over to Jason, _"You won't stop 'til he's locked up. But you've gotta let me go, Morgan..."_ Morgan shook his head, tears rolling down his face.

"No, kid." He muttered.

_"I know you don't want to... but you've done all you can for me now."_ Reid's shoulders shook as his emotions got the better of him for a few moments. _"Oh god."_ He whispered. _"This is so hard."_ He put his face in his hands and rubbed. Reid looked back up again, his emotions now completely under control. His mood swinging between detached calmness and desperate upset. Prentiss clearly wasn't the only one who could compartmentalise. _"You've protected me since the day I met you... But you can't now... For your own sake... you've got to let me go."_

Morgan kept shaking his head.

"No, kid. No, I can't do that."

_"I guess what I've been trying to say to you guys, for the first time ever... is that um... you're the closest thing to a normal family I have ever had... And that, because of each and every one of you, my life has been more... fulfilling... and happy than... than I ever thought I deserved."_ Reid swallowed. _"And I'm sorry it has taken me this long to say it... I should have made sure you knew it every day of your lives... At least you'll know it for the rest."_ He squeezed his eyes shut as the tears came falling once again.

The whole team were sat watching his distressed face, desperate to comfort him, knowing that Reid had most likely taken his last breath hours before they knew. That thought killed them. They were already grieving for him before he'd even finished his goodbyes. All of them were crying now, Hotch included. However silently, the tears were still there. And he wasn't ashamed of it. Reid was almost like a son. He was the baby of the team and for him to die under such horrific and shameful circumstances sickened Hotch to the core.

Reid was really weeping now, the fear showing in his body.

_"I don't want to leave you guys."_ His shoulders shook. _"But I don't have a choice any more. And I told myself I'd be strong and here I am falling apart in front of you."_ He took some deep breaths. It helped a little.

"Oh sweetie." Garcia moved to stroke his face on the screen. Still the tears were running heavily from her eyes.

_"Spence! It's time."_ Jason called from the sidelines.

"No!" JJ called.

"Oh god!" Garcia said desperately.

Reid looked directly at the camera, his eyes sad.

_"I... I love you all... more than you'll ever know."_ He swallowed thickly.

"We love you too, kid." Morgan said softly. His face streaked with tear tracks. The others also responded with their own little message.

_"Bye"_ It was barely a whisper.

Jason's body suddenly came into shot again. His hand went straight to Reid's shoulder. The young man instantly tensed. But his eyes were sad, resigned to his fate. His gaze dropped away from the lens.

"No, no, no, no, no." Garcia kept wailing. Morgan grabbed her and took her into hug, they both kept their eyes on the television, comforted slightly by the touch.

The hand then moved, a blind fold was then tied around Reid's eyes. He jumped at the intrusion.

"What the hell's he doing?" Morgan said angrily. Annoyed that Reid was still being toyed with.

Jason then moved out of sight of the camera. Reid sat still as a stone, clearly unsure of where Jason was either. He was completely tense.

Reid frowned. He hated this game. But Jason loved it.

Reid licked his lips nervously.

Suddenly he was violently thrown sideways off his chair by a hard kick to the shoulder. He gave out a startled yelp.

"Oh my god, no, no, no, no..." Garcia hid her face in Morgan's chest. Reid could no longer be seen on the camera and Jason was seen moving across towards him. The sound of Reid being beaten blasted out through the television.

JJ covered her ears. She couldn't hear her friend die.

"Turn it off." JJ asked. "Please turn it off."

She was ignored.

The sounds of Reid being hit and kicked suddenly stopped, and he began coughing. Seemingly trying to recover his breath. Jason's slimy voice could be heard.

"Now Spence. We can do this the hard way, or the easy way... Get on the bed." He ordered. The clink of chains were heard. "Now I know you probably just wanna get this over and done with. But I wanna make this special. This is the last time we will be together, Spence. I'm gonna fuckin' destroy you." He breathed out. His voice filled with innuendo.

"Oh my god, oh my god, turn it off, turn it off!" Garcia was shouting now.

"We can't watch this." JJ repeated over and over.

Jason then came up to the camera, looking directly into the lens.

"Nice try BAU... but I'm afraid..." He turned the camera so they could see Reid bound and blindfolded on a blood covered mattress, his whole body shaking in fear. Not knowing whether he was going to die or be raped. "You lose." The screen went black.

The team just stared in shock at the black screen in front of them. When Reid was talking, they felt so close to him. As if by watching the video, they were at least doing something comforting for him. But now the video had finished, that only meant one thing. Reid was dead. And most likely had been for a good few hours.

Garcia wept uncontrollably. JJ was stoic, lost in her own devastating thoughts. Morgan still had his arms around Garcia. She was his priority right now. He would think about himself later. Rossi wiped tear after tear away from his eyes. Prentiss had her head in her hands. In complete disbelief. And Hotch, he kept staring at the TV, hoping something useful would suddenly flash up and they would know where their youngest team member is... or was.

"There's still a chance that he might be alive." Hotch said robotically.

"Don't." Morgan warned. Mindful that any of them could take that tiny bit of hope and cling to it like it was the last thing on earth. He'd seen first hand how paralysing hope could be. He stood and left the room, slamming the door loudly behind him.

Any hope was now gone.


	20. Chapter 20

**Oooooh, an update. Sorry I kept you all waiting for so long. It's taking a lot out of me writing these chapters at the moment! But anywho, all plot developments will be revealed! :)**

**Thank you so much to each and everyone of you who reviewed the last chapter, I had a record of 12 reviews and that's amazing, thank you! Glad it made so many of you cry... it was my aim ;) Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter. As usual, it hasn't been read through at it is 20 pages and it's 4am and I have work in the morning. So you guys can tell me of any glaringly obvious mistakes. Please keep R&Ring, they make the lack of sleep totally worth it! ENJOY!**

**N.B. Did try to post this at 4am but was having issues, so posting now at 8.30am!  
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Morgan sat at Reid's desk, his head in his hands. He couldn't get the image of Reid's nervous and bruised face out of his mind. According to the tape, Reid was dead. And Morgan found that impossible to comprehend. He sat staring at what was left of Reid's belongings. There were no pictures. Reid wasn't the type. There was a pile of papers to the right of the desk, each of them had Reid's scrawled handwriting all over them. Morgan picked up a sheet and stared at it, a tear running down his face as he thought about how he would never see Reid writing again. It was a ridiculous thing to be upset about, but it really didn't matter to him. He promptly spent the next ten minutes looking at all the items on Reid's desk remembering the various little quirks Reid had with each object. He knew it wasn't going to help, but he just needed to feel close to him.

"Agent Morgan." Strauss was stood behind him. He didn't bother to turn around. Her brows furrowed at his demeanour, something was clearly very wrong. "What's happened?" She asked, her voice tense, knowing that the team couldn't take any more hits.

"We're too late." He said plainly.

Strauss looked around the room to see the few remaining people who were working in the bull pen, watching them intently. They all knew the team hadn't had good news. And they clearly had a feeling what that news was too, judging by the sad looks on their faces.

"What do you mean? Too late?"

"We were too late!" He snapped. "He's gone."

Strauss felt like her heart skipped a beat.

"You've found him?" She said sadly. It was more a statement than a question. She hadn't expected to feel this upset. She pulled a chair up behind her and sat down in shock.

"No." Morgan said. Strauss looked confused. "He sent us a tape." Morgan's voice was laced with anger and bitterness.

"No." Strauss gasped. She was truly shocked. "He filmed his death?" This was said more to herself than to her subordinate.

"Not exactly." Morgan said, finally turning round to meet Strauss' gaze. She could see the tear tracks down the agents face. "He sent us a goodbye tape. He forced Reid to say goodbye to us, telling us that by the time the tape reached us, Reid would already be dead."

Strauss' mouth dropped open in shock.

The door to the conference room opened and Rossi emerged, looking equally devastated. Strauss turned to look at him.

"I'm so sorry." She said, standing up, looking between the two agents. "If there is anything I can do..." She trailed off when Rossi shook his head, signalling that now was not the right time.

She read the cues from Rossi and gathered that he wanted to speak to Morgan by himself. Nodding respectfully, she moved away from the desks and headed up to the conference room to see the rest of the team. Rossi moved to take the seat Strauss had occupied. The pair sat in silence for a short while. Morgan then shook his head.

"Now is not the time, Rossi."

Rossi sighed heavily.

"Hotch is right you know. There is still a chance." He said gently.

"Don't you think I know that?" Morgan said, his voice full of emotion. "Of course I do. But what are we supposed to do? Cling onto the small chance that Jason was lying or Reid managed to escape those chains and kill Jason? That he cast a fucking magic spell and that let him walk through walls?" Morgan was sounding angry now. "No Rossi. We can't do that. Because when we find... his... his body, it'll make it ten times harder than it already is."

"I understand that Derek. But****_until _we find his body, we can't know for sure what's happened."

"Rossi, face it. He's gone." Morgan said harshly, his voice cracking.

Rossi swallowed, looking to Prentiss' desk where a photograph of the team was stood proudly next to her computer screen. It was a fairly recent photograph, taken when they were celebrating Emily's return to the BAU. They all had broad smiles on their faces. The girls were together giggling at something, Hotch had a relaxed smile, he was stood with Rossi. They looked like the sensible ones of the group. Morgan had his arm wrapped around Reid's neck, clearly trying to get him to enjoy himself. Morgan was flashing his usual bright white smile and Reid, uncharacteristically, was mirroring it. It was a rare photograph of Reid smiling fully. Not because he was a miserable person, he was just often so self-conscious that he couldn't relax long enough to actually enjoy himself.

Rossi found himself just staring at the photograph. The tears were making their way down his face before even realised. Things were never going to be the same after this. Losing Emily had been bad, it took them a long time to pull themselves together after that. But this, it was entirely different. The level of cruelty and pain that Reid had been subjected to before his death was just unbearable to think about. It was devastating and not befitting of such a gentle and harmless person. Knowing that Reid had died alone under such circumstances would haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Rossi pulled his mind out the depressing thoughts, he wiped his eyes and stood up.

"Derek, we need you." He said firmly. He stood and looked at the younger man, waiting for him to make his move. Morgan turned to look at Rossi. Eventually he surrendered, sighing and standing up. Rossi gave a smile smile, nodding then leading the way back to the conference room. Morgan followed.

When the two entered the conference room, the atmosphere was heavy with grief. Garcia and JJ were still sobbing. Prentiss had a serious frown on her face and Hotch's face was set in a stern look of concern. Strauss was just leaving as they entered. She had clearly been filled in on the latest developments. She looked pale.

As she went to close the door she poked her head through again.

"I really am very sorry." She said softly. "Dr. Reid was a lovely young man. A good agent. Really, if there is _anything_ I can help with... and I mean _anything_, don't hesitate to ask."

Hotch nodded silently. She gave a small smile and closed the door behind her.

"_Was_ a lovely young man... That's just horrible." Prentiss said, rubbing her tired eyes.

"Well what do you expect her to say?" Morgan said, his brows furrowing moodily.

"Perhaps save the epitaph for when we know what has actually happened." Prentiss replied dryly.

"We know what's happened, we've just had it spelled out for us." Morgan snapped back.

"Okay, this isn't helping." Hotch said commandingly. "I know it's hard and we're all upset, but we've got to stick together. We need to keep profiling Jason, figure out where he is and we can't do that if we're tearing each other apart."

"Aaron's right." Rossi nodded. "We have to keep focused. Don't let that tape distract us. For all we know it was just Jason trying to upset us."

"Well it's worked." JJ said sniffling.

"Oh come on, Rossi. If there was no truth to that tape, why the hell was Reid so upset? Reid can bluff but he's no actor. That emotion was genuine."

"And it would be if Jason told him he was going to die." Rossi said plainly.

"You are kidding yourself Rossi, if you think that Reid is still alive after that."

"Morgan!" Garcia gasped in shock at the brutality of his words.

"Garcia, it's true. If Reid saw any lie in Jason, he would have known it. He could have given us a clue and he didn't. And why do you think that is?"

"Because he knew he wouldn't be alive long enough for us to actually be able to help him." Hotch said depressively.

"Exactly." Morgan said strongly. He was finding it difficult to control his anger.

"Well maybe it's just me, but I would rather believe he's alive until we get proof that he isn't." Garcia said with a soft kind voice.

"Me too." Prentiss supported her.

Morgan just shook his head, clearly distressed. A hand came to his shoulder. It belonged to Rossi.

"I know you are upset Derek. I know how close you two are and how protective you are of him. But we need you with us if we are going to figure out exactly where Jason is."

Morgan shrugged off the hand, finding it slightly patronising.

"Isn't it all a bit pointless now?" Morgan said in frustration. "He's gone, we were too fucking late."

"Well I don't know about you Derek, but if he is gone, then I sure as hell wanna catch the man who did this to him." Prentiss snapped, finally having enough of Morgan's attitude. "And if he _is... _he is gone..." She swallowed. "Then he deserves to be laid to rest. I won't let Jason take that from him too." She said, tears welling up in her eyes as the other agents looked at her, completely saddened by what she'd said. Morgan just stared at her, his strength waning. The mention of laying Reid to rest was just too much.

He started nodding, understanding how terribly wrong he had been and then broke down. Garcia quickly grabbed him, pulling him into a tight hug as the man cried, devastated by the loss of his friend.

The team all exchanged uneasy glances. This was going to happen a lot over the next few days. Anger followed by tears. It had happened many times already. And they were already exhausted by it.

Morgan suddenly broke away from Garcia's tight hug and stood up, wiping his eyes. He was trying to regain some level of self-respect.

"Okay..." He wiped his eyes again and sniffled. "Where do you think we should start?"

Rossi caught his eyes for a few moments and nodded, a short gesture, to tell him that he was doing the right thing.

"Before we received the tape, Emily mentioned something about where the food was coming from." JJ reminded them.

"Yeah. I didn't even think about where he was getting the food from when I was watching that tape. But it does seem as if he might have been getting the food from Steve's flat."

"But what does that mean?" JJ asked. "Does it mean he's involved?"

"Possibly." Rossi said. "But like we said before, there's also a possibility that Jason gained access to his place at times when he was out at work."

"But surely he would spot a break in?" Garcia questioned, wiping tears away from her eyes.

"Not if Jason had a key." Rossi said.

"But that would mean they'd be close. Steve claims to only know Jason from the gym. He doesn't socialise with him... apparently." Prentiss pointed out the various flaws to that argument.

"Okay, well that's mystery number one." Hotch said, pushing that aside for the moment.

"What's mystery number two?" Morgan asked.

"Who brought the package into the building?" He said simply. JJ stood straight away.

"I'll get Anderson." She moved quickly out of the room, clearly desperate for even just a few short moments away from that room and the constant profiling.

"He has to have sent that package out somehow. It wasn't post marked so it was clearly hand delivered. So who delivered it?" Hotch said thoughtfully.

"Could have been Jason himself." Prentiss suggested.

"No. The men on the front desk have his photograph. I made sure of that." Rossi said confidently.

"Then someone he paid." Prentiss gave another suggestion. They were really working on guesswork.

JJ entered with Anderson in tow. The team automatically stopped their conversation and looked towards the pair.

"Who gave you this package?" Hotch asked quickly and firmly.

"The guys on the reception desk brought it up. They said that a man dropped it off. I've got them reviewing the CCTV as we speak."

"Did they describe him?" Prentiss asked.

"Yes. I showed them photographs of both Jason and Steve. Neither matched his description. It seems as though he sent someone else in, possibly paid someone. Apparently he didn't seem sure of what he was supposed to be doing with the package."

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked, brows furrowed.

"Well he dropped it off at the ground floor desk for starters. Anyone who knows this building, or has at least been given detailed instructions would know to bring it up to the second floor for distribution."

"So you think Jason was in a rush when he spoke to the man?" Prentiss questioned thoughtfully.

"Possibly." Anderson shrugged. "All I've been told is the guy looked very nervous, seemed unsure of himself and asked for a receipt for the package."

"So Jason wants to know that we have it." Rossi said.

"So are we assuming that this is someone that Jason has picked up off the street or something?" JJ looked confused.

"It's possible. If Jason had grabbed someone off the street then that would explain the lack of information given to the deliverer." Hotch said.

"Yeah, but wouldn't it also be equally possible to say that Jason would know that people in the distribution office would be on the look out for any unusual post? Especially to this team. Isn't it possible that Jason had spent his time with the guy and told him exactly what not to do to avoid being tracked back to the location?" Morgan said sitting forwards. Not wanting to throw a further spanner into the works but not able to help it.

"Is this actually getting us anywhere?" Garcia asked, wiping her eyes again. She still hadn't stopped crying.

"No." Hotch said exasperated, sitting down in his chair, feeling any hope slowly slipping through his fingers, like grains of sand through an egg timer.

"But wait, let's just think about this for a minute." Prentiss started, her red puffy eyes slightly squinted as she made her point. "Jason said that Reid would be gone by the time we watched this tape. So we assume that Jason sends someone out with a tape, after he's killed Reid... then why ask for a receipt? Surely he'd want to get himself out of Virginia as soon as possible?"

"So what are you suggesting?" Rossi asked.

"Well, what I'm thinking, is if I were Jason, I would record the tape, _then_ deliver it..." She struggled slightly with the next words. "... Kill... my victim and then go. Not even bother with a receipt."

"He can't do that." Hotch said.

"Why not?" JJ asked.

"Because he needs to know that we are suffering. The receipt gives him that." Rossi said.

"It also gives him chance to get rid of his delivery guy." Morgan said, rolling his eyes, not believing he hadn't thought of that sooner. They all nodded in agreement, none of them had thought of that. Their brains were far too tired by now.

"_But_ the point I was making," Prentiss continued with her original point, "is that, if Jason had killed Reid hours ago.. why have we only just received the tape now? Jason wouldn't hang around long after killing Reid." Morgan shot her a look, warning her not to bother with hope. She held her hands up. "I'm just throwing it out there. By my estimations, Reid was either killed just before the tape was sent out... Or Jason planned to do it in the time that the delivery guy was gone and coming back."

Garcia looked at her hopefully.

"So you think there's a chance he might be alive?" She reached out to Emily's hand, as if she had given her the best news in the world.

"I don't know, Garcia. I honestly don't know." Prentiss looked sadly to her friend and then around the table. Tears were starting to creep back into all of their eyes. They were getting nowhere fast and the longer they took, the further away Reid seemed.

"This is fucking useless!" JJ suddenly snapped, surprising everyone. "We're supposed to be top FBI profilers and we can't even fucking find our friend who probably hasn't even left the city!... We're just a joke." She put her head into her hands and ran her fingers backwards through her hair. Nobody had anything they could say. They all knew it was true. Jason had stumped them all. A combination of Jason's knowledge of how their team worked, missed opportunities and again, Jason's knowledge of exactly what a technical analyst would look for just kept bringing them up empty. The stage they were at, even the simplest tasks would take too long.

"We shouldn't give up, JJ." Prentiss said, trying to sound strong.

Rossi stared at the table in deep depression, he wanted to lead the team so much, but it was so hard. He couldn't understand how Hotch had taken that pressure for so many years. Holding your own emotions on your shoulders in these situations was hard enough, never mind the emotions of everyone else too. He sighed, knowing he had to do something. He had to keep the team moving.

"You need to set up another press conference, JJ. To find the man who delivered that package. We need to speak to him." He ordered.

"But that'll take too long, Rossi." She answered, the frustration clear in her voice.

"Too long for what?... One way or another, we have to find him." Rossi said plainly, staring straight into JJ's eyes. "Like Emily said, if nothing else, he deserves to be laid to rest... Jesus, after all he's been through, the least the kid deserves is that." Rossi said, his eyes watering up.

JJ stood up right away, nodding. They all desperately wanted to believe that they were working to save Reid. But deep down, they knew, they were working to recover his body. Jason wasn't going to take away their only chance to say goodbye and leave their young genius at peace. As hard as that was to remember, they had to keep reminding themselves that it was just as important as finding Reid alive.

"I'll set it up." She said as she moved to leave the room. Anderson opened the door for her, having observed all of this sadly. He didn't know the team particularly well. He knew Hotch mostly as he was his Unit Chief. But he had spoken to all of them briefly on many occasions. He genuinely liked Reid. Although he was the one he'd had the least to do with. Due to his shyness, it could often make Reid very difficult to talk to. However, he was admired by most of the people in the office. Despite his lack of confidence, he never failed to educate everyone. Almost turning into a different person when he became a profiler. His apparent fear of public speaking seemed to desert him. This had been registered on many occasions by those around the bull pen, by Anderson in particular. Although he didn't really know him, he could understand why the team thought so highly of him and he knew Reid would be missed. The circumstances of the event were already sending shock waves through the building, no matter how much Strauss tried to keep a lid on it. In one way or another, Reid's name would not be easily forgotten at the BAU.

Anderson pulled himself out of his thoughts and turned to follow JJ out of the room when they were both suddenly stopped in their tracks by another agent flying towards them.

"We have a witness!" He said quickly and excitedly. He pushed past JJ and Anderson into the conference room. The team were all looking at the man eagerly now. "We have a witness!" He repeated, throwing his pad down onto the table in front. "A man, who is on his way in now, claims that Jason became friends with him but then it all went sour when he was introduced to one of Jason's friends and held captive... They were going to sell him."

"What? Are you serious?" Rossi said, his eyebrows tightly furrowed. He moved towards the pad, grabbing it to read through the untidy notes on the page.

"That's what he said. He's coming in to tell us what happened." The agent smiled.

"Did he ever report it?" Morgan asked, confused as to why they had never heard of this before.

"No. He said he would explain his reasons when he came in."

"How far away is he?" Hotch asked, standing up in anticipation.

"Only a twenty minute drive." The agent looked around the room at all of the nervous faces. They didn't hold the same optimism he felt. They clearly didn't even dare to hope that this might be the resolution they were looking for.

Rossi turned to the team.

"Right, Hotch and I will talk to this guy. JJ, we still need you to set up that press conference. At this stage we can't get rely on one witness, we need to find the guy who delivered that package. Garcia, we need you at the ready for any information that comes your way. If we get anything that can help us, then I want you on it straight away. I also want you to keep checking through this Steve's background-"

"But sir, there's nothing."

"I don't care Garcia. There's got to be something somewhere that links him to all of this. If Jason feels comfortable enough to access Steve's flat to make food, then they are a lot closer than they are making out. Keep checking properties either of them might own or have access to. See if you can find any links between Jason, Steve and any of the places Jason's victims visited in the days before their deaths. Anything Garcia... just find us something."

Garcia nodded obediently.

"On it, sir."

She quickly stood up and left the room. Eager to do something to help.

"Morgan and Prentiss, you continue with the mapping out of the geographical profile. See if you can figure out somewhere of importance to Jason or a common connection between his victims. Garcia can help you with the locations."

Prentiss and Morgan looked to each other, nodding.

Anderson and the other agent followed Hotch and Rossi out of the conference room as Morgan and Prentiss set to work on the profile again. They weren't quite daring to hope, but the news of a witness had certainly renewed something within them. In one way or another, they were going to bring Reid home.

* * *

><p>"What's your name?" Rossi asked gently.<p>

The man opposite him and Hotch shuffled uncomfortably in his seat.

"I didn't realise I would have to give my name."

Rossi shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't. But if you want us to trust what you're saying, then trusting us with your name is generally a good start."

The man shifted again. He was obviously very on edge, a little too much so, the two agents thought. But they'd leave that alone for the moment. The man leaned in and spoke in hushed tones, as if telling a secret.

"Look. I got a couple of things on my record... that I... I ain't too proud of."

Hotch looked the man dead in the eye.

"We're not here to judge you. We simply want to hear what you know about Jason Turner. We need you to tell us what happened to you." Hotch kept his gaze steady. The man searched it for a few moments, then turned to examine Rossi's eyes. His were equally steady.

The man finally conceded. Nodding to the agents.

"Mark Bridges." He smiled slightly.

Rossi and Hotch were completely aware that Anderson was ready on the other side of that glass feeding information to Garcia. Any issues would come through their well concealed ear pieces.

"Agents Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi." Rossi smiled back. "Pleased to meet you Mark."

"Mark." Hotch pushed a photograph of Jason onto the table. "Do you know this man?"

"Yeah. Well, I did. He was a friend of mine... Some friend." He laughed to himself, obviously having a private memory. "But he ain't this Jason Turner you keep talking about. At least, he wasn't when I knew him."

Rossi and Hotch looked at him curiously.

"What was his name?" Rossi questioned.

"He told me his name was Daniel Harris... I never had any reason not to believe him." The man shrugged.

"How did you two meet?" Rossi continued with the questioned.

"We met in a bar. Chequers, I think it was. I had been at the bar for a while and Daniel came in and sat next to me. I was a bit worse for wear. I was er... going through a tough time."

"Did you drink a lot?" Hotch asked in a direct but gentle manner, but Mark knew his meaning. He sighed, knowing that this would come out.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic... But I wasn't back then. I was just an alcoholic back then." He said with a small smile. "Daniel bought me a couple of drinks, he could tell I was down on my luck. He said he'd been back in the next night. And we just kinda, started hangin' out, you know."

"Did he ever mention his sexuality to you?" Rossi asked.

"Not directly, no. But he did mention in passing once or twice that he had a boyfriend. So I knew he was gay."

"Did he say who his boyfriend was?" Hotch prodded.

"He kept a picture of him in his wallet. The kid looked too young for him if I'm honest. But I tried not to judge. He seemed like a nice enough guy so I became really good friends with him. We just kept going out drinkin' all the time, just to the various bars around Virginia. He seemed like a good laugh." He shifted uncomfortably again, a frown now marring his face.

"What went wrong?" Rossi asked, noticing the change in Mark's demeanour.

"One night, we went out for drinks and Daniel said he would take me to meet some of his friends. He'd talked about them loads so I was happy to go and meet them. But we ended up going down some alley way – the next thing I know, I'm knocked out and wake up in the back of this guy's car." Mark closes his eyes in distress. "My hands and my legs are tied and I'm sat upright so I can see the driver. He was a big guy, bald, clearly worked out a lot. I could _hear_ Daniel talking in the front of the car with this guy." He took a deep breath to compose himself.

"What was he saying?" Rossi pressed again.

"They were arguing over price. Daniel was saying to this guy, who was called Michael, that he wasn't happy with the price he was getting and he wanted some more money. The next second, this Michael guy is offering me up for sex with Daniel." He shuddered. Rossi and Hotch exchanged very concerned glances.

"What did he say?"

"In all fairness, he said that Michael knew he wasn't interested in any of that. He had his boyfriend... I think his name was Spencer or something." Rossi and Hotch' glanced to each other again. "I'm sorry, I was still hazy from the booze." Mark apologised.

"No need to apologise. You're doing great. What happened next?" Rossi said, encouraging the man. He knew this must have been hard.

"They started arguing. It sounded like Daniel was recruiting men for some sort of sex ring by becoming friends with them and bringing them to Michael. But Daniel was quite new to it all. That's the only reason I can think of for why my car door wasn't locked. I couldn't believe my luck. So I bided my time and waited til we were in a populated area where people were about, I launched the door open and threw myself out of it. I dislocated my shoulder in the process, but I escaped. I don't know if it was the drink, or the situation, but I honestly didn't care that I was throwing myself out of a moving car."

"And what happened then? Did they stop?" Hotch asked.

"For a few moments, but they couldn't really. The second I was out of the car, two people were helping me. So Daniel and Michael just shot off. These guys were trying to help me, I'm pretty sure they called the police. But the second they had freed my legs and arms, I ran."

Rossi brows furrowed curiously.

"Why would you do that?"

"Look, man. I told you, I was an alcoholic. I didn't live a very clean life." He sighed when they looked at him incredulously. "I dealt drugs. I didn't take 'em, but I dealt 'em. The last thing I needed was police sniffing around my life. And I think Daniel knew that."

"But you said you think these men called the police?" Rossi asked.

"Yes. I think they did." Mark nodded.

"That should be on record somewhere." Hotch added. They knew Anderson would be listening to this, sending the information out to Garcia.

"So you've never seen Jaso- Daniel," Rossi corrected himself, "around this area since, then?"

"I moved. I left for D.C. Not far, I know, but it was far enough for me to start afresh. I'm only back here today visiting family. Lucky I was really..." Mark stared at the two FBI agents opposite him. "So what's all this about?"

Hotch pulled another photograph out of the file.

"Do you recognise this man?" He asked, his face stern.

Mark took one quick glance at the photograph before looking at the agents in surprise.

"Yes! Yes, I do. That is Michael!"

Rossi's eyes lit up.

"You're certain?" He wasn't daring to hope just yet.

"Yes. Absolutely. I would know him a mile away..." Suddenly Mark went very quiet and thoughtful. "How long have they been doing this for?"

The two agents shook their heads sadly.

"We have no idea." Rossi said. There was a long silence as the men all considered their own answers to that question. It was obvious that this was a lot bigger than just Jason and Reid.

"Are you trying to stop them?" Mark asked, his eyes looking hopeful.

"We will." Hotch nodded. Mark looked slightly confused at this answer.

"This is the first time we have heard about this. We didn't even know there was a sex ring in operation." Rossi said quite honestly. "We were trying to find someone in particular. Someone Jaso- Daniel, has kidnapped."

"Really?" Mark's face was full of concern. "Who is it?"

Rossi took a deep breath.

"A colleague of ours. Spencer Reid." He smiled slightly, seeing the recognition light up in Mark's face.

"Spencer..." He whispered, mostly to himself. Realisation dawned on him. "So Spencer wasn't his boyfriend?" His mouth hung open at the two agents in front of him.

"No." Hotch said dryly. "He was his ultimate victim."

"The only one he wanted." Mark nodded, saying the words as if they made perfect sense.

"What did you say?" Hotch asked, eyeing the man.

"Sorry." Mark shook his head. "It's just what he used to say when he talked about him. Spencer was the only one he would ever want. Or so he used to say." Mark's brows furrowed. "Is he the same kid as in the photos?"

Rossi simply pulled a photograph out of his pocket and pushed it towards Mark. The man simply nodded sadly and pushed the photo back. "I hope you find him." He said kindly. Mark was about to ask questions about the FBI, why was Daniel targeting an agent? Why Spencer? Why hadn't they known about the sex ring? So many questions that needed answering, but Rossi's phone started to ring, automatically silencing him.

"Yes?" Rossi answered, obviously knowing who was on the other end.

Hotch and Mark watched him nod a couple of times, then there was a flash of something in his eyes. Was it hope? "Okay thanks, Garcia." He put the phone down and stood up straight away. "She's found the car, it was registered to a Michael Phillips." Hotch also automatically stood. As Rossi moved to leave the room, Hotch followed him.

"Thank you very much for your time. You've been a great help." Hotch nodded to Mark who made no move to leave, but the agents didn't care. They needed to see Garcia. They turned and quickly left the room.

"The car was registered to a Michael Phillips in 2006 and falls off the grid in 2010, shortly after the report was filed against him. The case was thrown out as the victim couldn't be found." Garcia read the information from her screen quickly. "It looks like Michael Phillips might have been an alias."

"A guy like him will be changing his name all the time to avoid detection." Rossi said.

"Wait." Garcia said, her face suddenly tense and very interested. "It says here, that Michael Phillips still has a house registered in his name."

"He will have various properties all under different names. He needs as many places as possible to run a business such as his." Hotch said grimly.

"What is his business?" Garcia asked innocently. Rossi and Hotch exchanged uneasy glances. Garcia looked between the two of them, concerned. "What?" She asked frantically. "What is it?"

"He's involved in a sex ring. He takes vulnerable men and sells them on. Jason is his 'groomer'." Rossi said, the disgust clear in his voice.

"He befriends them, gets himself into their lives then sets them up. He gains their trust." Hotch said, equally disgusted.

Garcia's mouth dropped open.

"That isn't what they wanted Reid for, is it?"

"We don't think so, no. This is a personal thing for Jason. It seems he had no interest in sex with the other men. But if Steve has anything to do with it..." Hotch trailed off. He didn't want or need to finish that sentence. He furrowed his brows.

"What about this house Garcia?" Rossi asked, changing the subject.

"Erm, let's see." She typed on her keyboard. "It's empty. No residents. It's been empty for two years. Five bedrooms, three bathrooms, yikes, that line of work clearly pays well." She pulled her face. Her mouth dropped open again and her face went completely serious. "It also has a basement."

Hotch and Rossi were already on the move.

"Send us the address Garcia." Hotch said, as they left her office.

"Call a SWAT team, we need all the back up we can get." Hotch nodded in return. Rossi turned the corner into the conference room. "We have a possible address." He said plainly to the two agents. Immediately they were out of their seats and readying themselves for a raid. The nerves were buzzing through their veins, causing all sorts of tingling feelings. They were both exhilarated and terrified at the same time.

"What? What do you mean, we have an address?" Morgan asked, following Rossi out of the room.

"There is a house registered to Steve under another alias. Chances are, Steve was helping Jason to hide Reid." Rossi replied.

Prentiss looked as confused as Morgan.

"What? Hold up Rossi." He grabbed the man's arm, stopping him in his tracks. "What the hell are you talking about? Steve is helpin' him? Since when?"

Rossi leaned in and spoke in hushed tones.

"Since he was at the centre of a sex ring."

"What? A sex ring? You can't be serious." Prentiss said, shaking her head in shock.

"Jason has been grooming vulnerable men and luring them to Steve for sale. He's been doing it for at least eighteen months." Rossi said matter of factly. He didn't have the time to explain the hows, whats and wheres.

"So Reid is going to be sold?" Morgan said, his brows furrowed in a combination of confusion and disgust.

"Oh my god, what if that tape was to throw us off their tracks? So we would assume he was dead and would stop looking?" Prentiss exclaimed.

"You're sure about this, Rossi?" Morgan asked. The nerves were tingling all through his body.

"Not completely, Steve could have any number of properties under any number of aliases. It makes sense that Jason would keep Reid somewhere belonging to Steve. Steve is clearly the dominant and Jason is the submissive in that relationship."

"But what if we're wasting time in the wrong place?" Morgan interrupted.

"It's better than overlooking the right place." He said simply. They were checking out this house. That was final. "You can always stay here if you want, Morgan?"

"Hell no, Rossi. If Reid is in there, I wanna see him." Morgan eyes burned with fury. He couldn't imagine what they might find inside that house. And he really didn't want to either. But if Reid was in there, he needed to be there too.

"Right." Rossi nodded. "Well let's do this."

* * *

><p>The motors pulled up outside the house, lights flashing and sirens blazing. The team piled out of the SUV and the small SWAT team quickly followed.<p>

They all gathered at the front door, armed and ready to shoot anyone who got in their way. The SWAT team looked ready to kick the door in.

Rossi glanced around the team for a few moments. From Hotch, to Morgan, from Prentiss to JJ. They all looked so terrified and so concerned about what would be inside. As far as they knew, they were retrieving the body of one of their closest friends. They were no longer on a rescue mission.

"Whatever we find inside this house, we stay strong, right?" They were all looking at him now, not saying a word. They knew exactly what they might find in there, they had seen it once before and had been horrified. But that time Reid had survived it, this time they were too late. They just kept looking back at Rossi, clearly too hesitant to answer. "Right?" He said again, emphasising the point.

"Right." Hotch nodded once. As did Morgan and JJ. Rossi didn't need to tell Prentiss and deep down she knew the comment wasn't directed at her. Morgan took a deep breath. His hands were shaking. He looked to JJ, who appeared to be in the same condition. Since they had seen that tape, all of them had been in a state of shock. Stuck in some strange limbo where they needed to grieve but didn't want or have permission to. A strange limbo where they all wanted, more than anything, to know the truth, but were too terrified to accept what that truth might reveal. They all wanted Reid to be inside this house, to find him and bring him home, but another part was begging for him not to be there. For Jason to have used that tape to allow him an easy escape. So Reid would still be alive somewhere, waiting to be found. And as selfish as they all felt thinking those thoughts, they found comfort in the fact that each of them knew that they were all feeling the same.

JJ gave Morgan a small smile and nodded to him. A supportive gesture that the older man appreciated. Her eyes sent him an unspoken message: 'We can do this'. Morgan then looked to Prentiss, her face was tense, but determined. But her hands shook also. He then looked to Hotch. Hotch was exhausted, his face was creased with lines of worry and stress. His skin was slightly too pale and his eyes had the look of someone who just couldn't take any more set backs. It was at this moment that Morgan realised, this wasn't just Reid's life they were fighting for. It was Hotch's too. Or at least the life he loves, a life based around his work and the family of colleagues he has at the BAU. That was why Hotch had been so much against assuming Reid was dead. He simply couldn't take it.

Morgan set his jaw strongly. They had to find Reid alive. Morgan looked back to Rossi who looked somewhere between severely pissed off and tired with worry. The older man nodded to the SWAT team and at that moment the door was kicked in.

They burst into the house, Morgan and two officers from the SWAT team went straight up the stairs in front of them to explore the bedrooms. Prentiss and Hotch took the living room and Rossi and JJ and the remaining officer took the kitchen.

"Clear!" Hotch shouted, returning back to the hallway with Prentiss.

"Clear!" Rossi also shouted from the kitchen. Morgan was soon moving back down the stairs after having cleared the upstairs of the property, as agreed.

"Did you find any doors for a basement?" Hotch asked assuming it must have been in the kitchen.

"Nope." Rossi said simply.

"There has to be another entrance then." Hotch suggested.

Morgan nodded to the team and the SWATs to follow, he moved out of the front door and they split up into two groups to move around the outside of the large house. They met at the back.

"Guys!" Morgan said in somewhat of a whisper. He directed their gaze to a set of wooden doors that appeared to lead to a basement underneath the house. Morgan nodded to one of the SWAT team who was ready with a pair of bolt cutters. He leaned over and cut the lock away. As soon as he had, Morgan pulled the doors open violently, allowing himself and the other two SWAT officers access to the stairs in front of them. "FBI!" Morgan shouted. Ahead of them, the stairs led downwards and at the bottom was a sturdy looking door. Morgan looked up to Rossi who simply nodded.

Morgan kicked the door harder than he'd ever kicked any door in his life and it flung open. The SWAT team flooded the room and Morgan soon followed, as did the rest of the team.

The room was dimly lit which may have been why Morgan was seemingly oblivious to the huge pool of blood that he slipped in the second he entered the room. He fell to the floor, almost landing on top of the body that had expelled the fluid. His eyes widened in horror and he pushed himself away from the corpse immediately, forgetting all protocol for a few short moments. Then his gun was back to darting around the room, looking for any enemies. The team had now piled in and a gasp was heard from JJ as she entered. Two dead bodies were on the floor, one was clearly Steve's. However, it was the other body that brought tears to their eyes.

It wasn't Reid.

Jason's body was propped up against the wall, a knife sticking out of his neck, hitting directly into the artery. His eyes were wide in shock and pain. But he was definitely dead. At this discovery they all automatically turned their gaze to the bed that they had subconsciously realised was there but couldn't pay attention to until they knew the coast was clear. The bed was absolutely covered in blood, but there was no sign of their colleague. Morgan crumpled his face in disgust at the state of the bed. Hotch took a step back a little and something hit against his head. He turned and to look at what it was, distracting the team momentarily. They followed his gaze to some chains hanging from the ceiling. Hotch's mouth opened in disgust, baring his teeth slightly. They all knew at some point, Reid had been suspended from those chains. They exchanged horrified glances, how much more had Reid had to endure?

A sudden clink of metal brought their attentions back to the bed. Morgan's brows furrowed and he looked to the team before moving towards the bed. He crouched down and peered underneath. What he saw made him cry instantly. Reid was pushed up as far against the wall as he could get and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut, terrified to look at who had found him. But he was alive. Very much alive.

"Oh thank god." Morgan breathed out in relief.

"He's alive?" JJ asked quickly, in disbelief. The team instantly rushed forwards to look at the person under the bed. This made Reid slightly startled, but his eyes opened upon hearing the familiar voices of his colleagues and the complete and utter relief flooded his features. They had found him.

He was shaking hard and covered in blood, much like he had been on the video. Realising how much in shock he must be at the sudden intrusion by the team, Rossi put his arm across as a barrier to stop anyone reaching him.

"Slowly." He said, cautioning the team. "He needs an ambulance." Rossi nodded to JJ. She looked at him, very irritated at his obvious attempt to get her out of the way. "He needs it now." Rossi said firmly. JJ looked at him, desperately. The tears gathering in her eyes. She just really needed to be with Reid now, and that was why Rossi needed her out of the way.

She shook her head angrily and pulled out her cell phone. "Morgan... you go with her." Rossi said strongly.

"What?" He said angrily, looking between Reid and the older man. "You want me out of the way? What the hell, Rossi?"

"That is an order." Rossi said categorically. His priority was helping Reid and unstable, emotional personalities were the last thing he needed at that moment.

"I won't forget this." Morgan said moodily. He took one last glance at Reid and shook his head in disgust then left the room, following JJ.

Rossi turned to Hotch and Prentiss who both nodded in support of his decision. Rossi knelt back down and looked to his young colleague under the bed.

"Can you get out?" Rossi asked, noticing how weak Reid appeared. His body had been through too much.

"I..." Reid took some deep, wheezy breaths. His chest was not in good condition, Rossi noted. "I... think so." He spoke between loud breaths.

He started shuffling himself out from underneath the bed, wincing every time his chest, leg, head, any part of his body, moaned at him.

"Can't we move it?" Prentiss asked, referring to the bed.

"It's bolted to the floor." Hotch said simply.

Reid then stopped moving, breathing heavily. He was struggling. Whatever damage had been done to his chest, it was affecting his breathing.

"Come on Reid, you can do it." Rossi said gently.

He breathed in and out shakily.

"... Can't..." Was all he managed to squeeze out. But he pushed his hand towards Rossi and the older man grabbed it tightly.

"Okay Reid. This might hurt." Reid just nodded in response, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

Rossi pulled strongly backwards, tugging Reid out from underneath the bed. It took a couple of attempts but he managed it with some help from Hotch. Reid panted on the floor. He had cried out a lot as Rossi had pulled him out. His body was in agony.

Reid was trying to sit up but was struggling. Rossi quickly, but carefully, moved in again to help him. Reid sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth as he did so. The team could see he was obviously in a lot of pain. Now the three of them had a proper opportunity to take in the young man's state. Rossi moved around Reid to his right hand side, pulling him up.

"Aaron, help me get him up." Automatically, Hotch was on his young colleague's other side, placing his hand underneath his skinny arm and pulling him up with Rossi mirroring the action on the other side. Reid cried out loudly as his ribcage and stabbed leg complained at the movement. "Sorry, sorry." Rossi said through gritted teeth. They placed him down on the bed, intrigued by the rattle of chains as they did so. It was in that moment that they took in the metal collar around his neck. Reid's breathing was heavy and laboured, he was clearly struggling to stay focused.

"Reid, stay with us." Hotch said, putting a hand to his bloody back and kneeling down in front of him. Reid's injured hands were now wrapped around his stomach and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut in pain. Rossi's eyes teared up as Hotch tried to look after his young colleague. Reid looked absolutely destroyed. Rossi glanced around the room at the devastation before him. Two dead men, one with his throat cut, another with a knife sticking out of his neck. Chains hanging from the ceiling, chains attached to each corner of the bed. A collar wrapped around the young man's neck to stop him from going anywhere. What hell had he been through?

When he turned back, Hotch had moved to sit himself next to Reid on the bed. The young man leaned heavily against his boss, his head was almost resting on Hotch's shoulder.

"I... didn't... think you'd... find me." Reid squeezed the words out between exhausted breaths. His eyes were tightly shut in pain.

"We were never going to give up, Reid." Hotch said simply, yet comfortingly.

"We need to get that collar off you." Prentiss said gently, her eyes tearing up as she looked at her close friend.

"... Jason... ..key." That was all Reid could say. His head started to drop forwards as though he was going to lose consciousness.

"Reid, stay with us." Hotch said again, putting his arm around the young man's skinny frame. This brought Reid back to the present, his head shot up as if he had been woken from a deep sleep and his body tensed suddenly, as though he was expecting someone else to be sat next to him. "Reid! Reid, it's me." Hotch said kindly, loosening the grip around his shoulders very slightly.

Reid's exhausted eyes looked towards his boss and then away to Jason at the wall. The look of horror still evident on the dead man's face.

As if reading his mind, Rossi nudged the body with his foot.

"He's gone, Reid. He can't hurt you any more."

"I... killed... " He took a deep breath again, turning his panicked eyes to Hotch. "I... killed... him." Reid's eyes looked haunted. Stabbing someone in the neck was a lot different to shooting someone. It had obviously seriously disturbed him.

Prentiss came over to Reid and knelt down in front of him.

"Reid? Did you mean that Jason has the key?" She asked softly.

Reid simply nodded, closing his eyes in complete exhaustion.

Rossi was already at Jason's body, searching his pockets for a key. Suddenly he found what he was looking for. He raced across the room and unbuckled the collar using a small key. They looked at the collar as it was removed, completely disgusted by its presence.

"Where the hell is the ambulance?" Hotch said, the more he felt Reid's body lean into him, the more frustrated and impatient he became.

"I'm sorry." Reid muttered. His eyes not completely focused. Prentiss looked to Rossi and then to Hotch, tears clouding her eyes.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Reid." Hotch said quietly, stroking his head tenderly. A gesture that would normally make him incredibly uncomfortable, but at this moment it felt like the right thing to do. And it clearly was, because for a short moment, Reid smiled.

Morgan suddenly entered the room, with two paramedics behind him carrying a stretcher. His brows furrowed at Reid's appearance, he was leaning heavily onto Hotch. He was absolutely covered in blood and bruises. His hands were shaking violently and the bandages that had been so fresh and clean in the hospital were now dirty and unravelling, revealing most of his injuries from his first abduction. His hospital gown was torn and also covered in blood. But what disturbed him most, was the look in his eyes. He was clearly present and alive, but his eyes seemed absent. He knew what was going on, but they were completely devoid of expression, almost as if his mind had hit a reset button and he was on some sort of default setting.

Morgan shook his head. The relief in finding him was incredible. But as he looked around the room, the implications of what had happened were starting to sink in. Not only was Jason dead, but so was Steve. And Steve appeared to only be half dressed. He looked from Steve to Reid and back again. One person was bad enough, but two? Morgan's mind couldn't even comprehend what Reid had potentially been through. Morgan looked up to find Rossi and Prentiss gazing back at him, their thoughts were clearly the same as his. There was no reason for Steve to be undressed unless he had been... No. They couldn't think about it.

Hotch was still sat with his arm tightly around Reid as the paramedics examined him. He wanted Reid to feel safe and judging by how tense the young man had gotten when the unknown men started poking and prodding at him, Hotch thought it had been a good decision on his part.

"What's his name?" One of the paramedics asked.

"Spencer Reid." Hotch said.

"Okay, Spencer. What we are going to do is get you onto a stretcher." The paramedic spoke clearly and carefully, as if talking to a child.

"We need to get him back to the hospital as soon as possible. He sounds as though he may have a punctured lung." The other paramedic said under his breath to Hotch.

"Please sir, we need you out of the way." The younger paramedic said to Hotch, but the agent made no move. "Sir, please?"

"I'm sorry, Reid." Hotch conceded gently. "I'm going to have to leave you alone for a minute."

"No." Reid moaned out.

"Yes. I'm really really sorry." He pulled himself away, trying to keep Reid upright at the same time.

The paramedics swooped in.

"Spencer, we need to take a look at your chest." The man grabbed at his hospital gown, Reid just kept shaking his head. He didn't have the energy to do anything else. He was teetering on the brink of unconsciousness.

"Please, don't." He breathed out from his pained chest. The paramedics exchanged concerned looks.

"He's been sexually assaulted for god's sake, or did the call centre not tell you that?" Morgan said aggressively, pushing the two men out of the way. They looked at him in shock.

"Morgan." Hotch warned. "Let them do their jobs."

"If he's gotta get on a stretcher, Hotch, then we are going to be the ones to help him. Not two people he doesn't know... We're his family damn it, hasn't he been through enough without causing unnecessary distress?" His eyes were burning with fury. He knew it wasn't the fault of the paramedics, they were doing what they had to, but the fear was evident in Reid's voice and Reid deserved to feel safe and protected.

"Sir," the older paramedic said, approaching Morgan. "We need to get him to a hospital right away."

Reid's head suddenly dropped forward as he lapsed into unconsciousness. The eyes of the team were suddenly wide with fear. "He's lost consciousness, blood pressure's dropping." The older paramedic spoke quickly. The two paramedics got Reid onto the stretcher within a matter of seconds and he was being raced into the ambulance. They clearly considered this a medical emergency.

The team followed immediately and watched as the stretcher was rushed past a panicked JJ.

"Oh my god, what's happening? He's turning blue!" She raced towards the ambulance only to be grabbed by Rossi who pulled her back. Hotch was doing his best to keep Morgan under his control too. "What's happening?" JJ screamed in frustration. The doors to the ambulance were closed and they no longer knew what was going on. After a few minutes of working on him, a third paramedic they had not seen before, emerged from the back and ran round to the driver's door. Before he could even hear the team asking what was going on, the door was closed and the ambulance was driving off, sirens blaring.

JJ stared after the ambulance, crying her eyes out. One minute she knew that Reid was alive the next he was being rushed into an ambulance and taken away from them again. It was all too much. The whole team stood in complete shock for a while. Shocked at what they had found, shocked that Reid was alive, shocked that despite his strength and determination to survive, a lung difficulty could still take their young genius from them.

This just wasn't fair.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N from 23/03/2012: Can the reviewer "Silver" please contact me? This is quite random but if you have an account please PM me. Thanks xx And thanks for all the reviews so far x  
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**Woop, update! This is a slightly shorter chapter. It has been rather exhausting too. I'm not totally sure about it to be honest, I know I've said it before, but I'm really not sure how people will feel about this chapter. I suppose in a way, some characters are a tad OOC, but I need to keep this story moving at a fair pace and I felt that this might be how they might deal with this. Anyway, please let me know what you think! Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews of chapter 20! I hit a record 13 reviews for the last chapter! So thank you :) please keep R&Ring, they make my little world go round! ENJOY!**

The team waited impatiently in the waiting room. Morgan was pacing the room, Hotch constantly shifted, trying in vain to make himself comfortable. Rossi tapped his leg up and down incessantly, JJ kept running her hands through her hair, piercing each member of staff with a deadly glare when they walked towards the group and carried on past. Prentiss was sat forwards, head in her hands sometimes, other times she huffed tired breaths out, resting her chin on her fist.

They were all fed up of waiting. It had been well over an hour since they had arrived at the hospital and were told that Reid had been rushed in for emergency surgery.

Garcia shuffled her way through the waiting room with two plastic cups of hot coffee. She handed one to JJ, spilling it over her own hand as she did so.

"Ouch." She hissed under her breath. She was a nervous wreck. Which automatically made her clumsy.

"Thanks." JJ said quietly. "You okay?" She asked, as she watched Garcia blowing on her hand trying to stop the small burn from stinging.

"Yeah." Garcia said. Her voice slightly choked. She was going to cry again if she wasn't careful.

"What the hell is taking so long?" Prentiss asked, suddenly seeming very frustrated. She stood up and started pacing the room.

They all watched her for a few moments through concerned eyes. Morgan then grabbed her gently by the arm.

"Come on, Emily. Let's go get some coffee."

"I'm sick of drinking coffee." She said, the frustration not quite leaving her voice.

"Well get something else then. There's plenty of machines." Morgan answered straight away, not put off by her attitude.

"You think they do gin?" She asked dryly.

"If they did, you think I'd be sat here?" Rossi said, half humorously, trying to lighten the mood slightly.

"There'd be none left." Hotch added quietly. A rare small smile on his face.

There was something about hearing Hotch make a joke, however small. It always made them smile, as if they had permission to have a little bit of fun.

"He'd have to get past me first." Garcia said, eyeing Rossi in a gentle challenge.

"No, babygirl. You'd be at the wine." Morgan retorted, a little smirk on his face.

JJ turned to Garcia, giving her a sly little smile, remembering her story about Derek being in her shower at 7am.

The team all smiled and chuckled at each other for a few moments. It felt so good for them to laugh.

"Spencer Reid?" The voice suddenly cut through the light-heartedness and their faces returned back to the troubled and depressed expressions they had been wearing for the past week.

"Yes. That's us." Hotch said, automatically standing and shaking the doctor's hand. They were all holding their breath, desperate to hear that Reid had made it through the surgery.

"I think you'd better sit down." The doctor said sadly, his face was pale and he looked tired. Either he'd been on a long shift, or Reid had exhausted him. The team exchanged uneasy and terrified glances. Hotch immediately fell to his seat, Prentiss returned to hers but Morgan remained standing, feeling more in control in that position.

JJ's teary eyes looked to the doctor.

"Is he..." She couldn't finish the question. Tears escaped from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. He couldn't be dead, not after all of this.

The doctor furrowed his brows.

"Spencer suffered a fractured rib, which caused damage to his left lung, puncturing it, causing it to collapse. We managed to repair the damage to the lung," The team breathed a huge sigh of relief. JJ and Garcia broke down into tears, hugging each other. The doctor continued, "it can take many weeks for breathing to return back to normal, however. So he may struggle to begin with. He will have to patient, he won't be able to do as much for a while."

"Thank you so much, doctor." Rossi said passionately. He could have given the doctor a huge kiss right there and then.

The doctor gave a small smile in return, but his face did not look relieved.

Morgan's heart leapt up into his throat.

"What is it?" He asked, his eyes wide.

"His injuries are quite extensive. I was looking at his earlier report from just over two days ago and it documented a variety of injuries. Aside from the stitched wounds, none of these injuries are showing any improvement, which, under the circumstances is to be expected. The cuts to his hands are showing signs of infection, as is the wound to the back of his leg. He may have a fever for a day or two, he has been prescribed IV antibiotics to treat the infection. He now has fairly large wounds around his wrists, seemingly from some sort of chaffing from one thing or another. These have been cleaned, stitched and bandaged." Hotch nodded, they all knew that had most likely come from being suspended from the ceiling. "The bruising to his chest and back is severe. He will be in a lot of pain for the next few days as they heal. The same goes for his fractured cheekbone. He will need plenty of pain killers at regular intervals if he's going to rest comfortably."

"He doesn't want narcotics." Hotch said simply.

"This isn't something I can discuss with you I'm afraid. So far, I have gone by his wishes, however, when he's more alert, it will need to be discussed with him. He is going to experience a lot of discomfort and I really do feel a mild opiate would be beneficial to his recovery."

"No... No way. He won't agree to that." Morgan said, categorically.

The doctor looked slightly taken a back, but met Morgan's gaze regardless.

"As I said, this isn't something I can discuss with you. It is Spencer's decision, at the end of the day, none of us can make that decision for him."

"Is he awake?" Garcia asked gently.

"Yes, he is, but he is still in recovery. He will be out in about half an hour. You can see him then."

"Thank you." Hotch said in a professional manner. Effectively finishing the conversation. But the man didn't leave. He just shifted uncomfortably.

"There's something else you should know... I noticed on the report from his last admission that he had been sexually assaulted. I'm afraid he has been subjected to the same ordeal again and..." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "And frequently... by the looks of it."

They all knew it, they didn't need telling. But hearing it made it harder to take in somehow. It made it all much more real.

They had yet to really deal with that issue. They hadn't kept him safe long enough to ever deal with the aftermath. Now this time, it was going to be much worse. Going through an ordeal like that once is bad enough, but escaping from that, just to thrown right back into it again had to be soul destroying. It had been bad enough for them as spectators, never mind as the victim.

"Yes. We did expect that." Rossi said quietly. His normally olive skin was now a paler version of itself.

"I will be transferring him back to Dr. Marston's care once he has left the recovery room. She will be able to do referrals for psychologists and various other services." This time the doctor stood up to leave.

"Thank you again. You saved his life." Hotch said, reaching his hand out to shake the doctor's.

The doctor just nodded once, dutifully and left the waiting room.

Hotch fell back down into the chair behind him, sighing in complete relief.

"We've got him back." Garcia said shakily. The tears running down her face. Her eyes were wide in disbelief. "We've got our baby back, Morgan." She looked to the agent who was brooding over her. He then smiled, tears escaped from his eyes as he wrapped his arm tightly around Garcia's shoulders. A few hours ago, they had thought they would be planning a funeral by now.

"I can't imagine what he has been through." Prentiss said, her voice emotionless. She knew how she felt after the whole Doyle saga, but seeing that room and the state her colleague was in, clearly Reid's experiences far surpassed her own.

Garcia furrowed her brows, asking a question she didn't want to ask.

"Was it bad?" She asked tentatively.

"Yeah baby girl. It was bad." Morgan said, honestly, tightening his grip on her shoulders. "Steve and Jason were both on the floor, dead. Steve's throat had been cut and Jason had been stabbed in the neck. Reid said that he'd killed him."

"Oh my god." Garcia gasped at the thought. That sounded horrific.

"When he heard us coming downstairs, he hid himself under the bed." Rossi said sadly, shaking his head.

"Oh my poor baby." Garcia gasped, just desperately wanting to see him. Reid was a fighter, they all knew that, but if he had resorted to hiding himself like a scared child, he'd clearly taken as much as he could.

The team then sank into their own depressed thoughts. Each focusing on the moments of Reid's ordeal that had affected them most, whether it was finding him under that bed, watching the tape, finding the various restraints on a blood covered bed – each of them had their own personal idea of hell. But they all agreed on one thing, Reid had been there and back.

After a good half an hour of sitting around having stunted conversations, a familiar face finally came into view. She smiled brightly at the team, knowing that this time Reid was definitely safe.

"Can't say I'm glad to see you back here, but I am glad to hear of the developments regarding your friend's attacker." She moved to shake the hand that Rossi presented to her.

"You're not the only one. Perhaps this time, he'll get the chance to heal." Rossi said dryly.

"I've no doubt about that." She said positively. "If you come with me, I will take you to his ward. He is awake, but I must warn you, so far he hasn't been very talkative. We will be starting from scratch with him again I think." She said, thinking back to the small progress that was made last time he was under her care. The team were now following her through the corridors, their stomachs flipping at the thought of speaking to Reid again.

"We don't care." JJ said instantly. "We're just glad to have him back. We will do anything to help him."

"I know you will." Dr. Marston smiled. "He's lucky to have you... all of you." The team smiled to themselves. That was the first time they had felt that way since he had gone missing the first time. They had spent the last week thinking about how _unlucky_ Reid might have considered himself, to have such useless profilers for friends.

Dr. Marston then turned off into a ward, it was different to the last ward, but the layout was almost identical. She stopped outside a room.

"Okay, this is Dr. Reid's room. Ideally I would say two of you at a time, but I know how desperate you will all be to see him. So I must insist that you do not crowd him and if you see any signs of him becoming overwhelmed, then please leave the room immediately. There are a lot of you and he might find it a little daunting, however well he knows you." Her eyes were serious now. However much she liked the team, Reid was clearly her priority.

They nodded.

"We will be sensible." Hotch answered seriously.

"Let's go then." She said, knocking on Reid's door. No response came. She opened the door regardless and looked to the young man who was sat up slightly in the bed. "I've got some people here to see you, Dr. Reid." She smiled, motioning the group inwards.

Reid barely moved his gaze to meet his colleagues. They went straight towards him, but not too quickly. Dr. Marston then smiled sadly, closing the door behind her.

Reid looked awful, but a damn sight better than he had looked just a couple of hours before. He looked clean at least. But the bruises and swellings marring his face made the team wince. His face must have been consistently throbbing. His bandaged arms lay on top of the white sheet that covered him and his dirty, blood covered hospital gown had been replaced with a clean one, that was clearly two sizes too big. Two IVs were linked up to his arm and a sphygmomanometer was wrapped around the other, automatically checking his blood pressure at regular intervals. His hair was still dirty however, in tangled knots hanging down around his face.

But it was his eyes that told them everything they needed to know. Last time, his eyes were haunted. This time, they were dead. They were the eyes of someone who had seen all they could see, endured all that they could endure. They were the eyes of a person who had come to terms with death and had already detached their thoughts and emotions from their body, in order to deal with the inevitable journey to the other side. But for Reid, that never came. So now he just looked like a man, living, who was ready to die.

As always, Garcia was the first to move up to Reid. She quickly pulled a chair up to the bed.

"Oh my god, Reid, sweetie." She grabbed his hand gently, taking care not to squeeze his broken knuckle. Reid just stared forwards, his eyes not looking at anything in particular. Prentiss was in his line of sight, but she knew he wasn't registering her. His chest rattled as he breathed in and out. Hotch and Rossi exchanged worried glances, then each pulled in chairs to sit down. "We thought we'd lost you." Garcia cried to her younger colleague, kissing his hand gently.

"Reid?" JJ asked, glancing to Morgan who now had a similar concerned expression. "Reid?" JJ tried a little louder and stronger. She then nudged his shoulder with her finger, desperate tears were starting to trail down her face at his lack of response. But suddenly, his eyes became alert, as if he had been pulled from underwater. He gasped slightly and instinctively pulled away from the hand that was gripping his.

"Reid. It's me." Garcia said, looking slightly hurt by her colleague's apparent brush off. But at that, his body instantly relaxed and he sank back into the pillow.

"Garcia." He breathed out, the relief clear in his voice. He closed his eyes, not quite believing he was finally safe.

She took hold of his hand again and this time, he allowed her to keep it.

"We thought we'd lost you." She said quietly, tears streaming down her face once again. It was surprising any of them had any tears left.

Reid just gave a tight lipped smile. It wasn't genuine. He then winced.

"Are you in pain?" Morgan asked quickly.

He nodded, his face scrunched up slightly. He took a sharp inhale of breath through his teeth.

"Where does it hurt?" Garcia asked, feeling him squeezing her hand tightly.

Reid gave a small, humourless laugh.

"Everywhere."

"Reid," Hotch started seriously, "the doctor wanted to speak to you about pain medications-"

"I don't want any." Reid snapped quickly, wincing again.

"They said they can give you some mild-"

"I said no." His stern gaze landed on his boss. It was unflinching.

JJ raised her eyebrows.

"That's okay, Spence." Suddenly realising what she'd called him, she became very uncomfortable. "I'm so sorry!" She said quickly.

Reid just waved his hand dismissively.

"S'okay." He said, his eyes closed. He made no attempt to say anything further.

JJ looked across the bed to Garcia. She looked back, shaking her head to tell her to let it go. The rest of the team also exchanged glances, this was going to be hard work.

Rossi then sat forward.

"Reid. Would you like us to leave you to rest?" He asked kindly, but firmly. The team turned to look at him, as if to say they didn't want to go yet, he just shrugged his shoulders. In his opinion, if Reid wasn't getting anything from this, then they would be better trying another time.

Reid's eyes suddenly opened.

"No." He said quickly. His grip tightened on Garcia's hand and she sucked in a breath. His sad eyes landed on Rossi and he shook his head, almost begging him to stay.

"Okay." He said gently. "We're not going anywhere." Rossi reassured him.

"I'm sorry." Reid breathed out, feeling frustrated with himself. "This is... just so quick." He struggled to get his words out due to his current lung capacity.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked, looking confused. She grabbed his other hand that was fiddling nervously with the bed sheets.

"You mean, one minute you're there and the next you're here?" Morgan asked, seeming to understand.

Reid's lips twitched nervously, as they always did when he was struggling to explain himself.

"Yeah." Was all he said. Then his expression went dark, his mind had obviously gone to a bad place. His brows furrowed as he tried to explain himself. "I thought... I was going... to die."

They all looked at him sadly. JJ squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"We thought you had." Prentiss said, her expression was soft. Reid nodded at her in understanding.

"When we got that tape, we thought we'd never see you again." Garcia spoke, her voice breaking slightly. She brought his hand up to her face and leaned into it, but his hand tensed. As did the rest of him. JJ felt it too.

"Reid?" JJ questioned when he then refused to meet anyone's gaze. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said quietly, still not lifting his eyes.

"Reid. You know you can talk to us, man." Morgan said gently.

Reid's face twitched nervously again and he sighed, clearly not wanting to discuss what was on his mind.

"It's not important." He said weakly.

"It is to us." Morgan continued on.

Reid now closed his eyes, his face blushed.

"What was on the tape?"

The team exchanged confused glances.

"It was you..." When Reid didn't answer, Morgan kept talking, shifting uncomfortably. "You were... saying goodbye."

Reid took a deep, painful breath and then looked up. His face was slightly cold.

"Sorry about that... he wanted me... to make you... upset." He tried to recover his breath. "Just forget about it." He said quickly. He felt his face burning hot through embarrassment. He had forgotten that they would have seen the tape by now, the tape of him crying like some child about how much he loves them all and how he sees them as his family and how he didn't want to leave them. He felt like such a fool, how had he let his emotions take control of him like that? They probably thought he was a complete idiot by now.

"Forget about it?..." Morgan looked around the team, they were all smiling slightly, sharing a small joke about how ridiculous it was that Reid had told them to forget it. "Reid... the things you said-"

"Were what he wanted to hear. Nothing more." He snapped, having to take a few breaths to recover. "So just leave it."

Morgan, JJ and Garcia looked taken a back, and a little hurt. Garcia pulled her hand away from Reid's, placing it sadly in her lap.

They all sat quietly for a few moments. Then Reid cleared his throat.

"Did he... send you anything... else?" He looked to Hotch and Rossi, knowing they would tell him the truth. Although, Prentiss' face gave it away instantly, she glanced to the two older men to see what they were going to say. Her face looked concerned. Hotch's mouth dropped open to say something, but the hesitation told Reid all he needed to know. "Oh god. He wasn't lying." He gasped, his cheeks blushed. He pulled his hand away from JJ and dropped his head again, refusing to look at anyone.

"Reid, you have nothing to be ashamed of." Hotch said strongly. Reid took a deep shaking breath, he was clearly on the verge of crying. "What he did to you, was not your fault."

"Did you watch it?" Reid cut in coldly, then looked up at his boss. They didn't miss the tear that escaped his eye as he did so.

Hotch didn't need to say anything. Reid just nodded, barely reacting. A severe look of disappointment crossing his face. Hotch thought that was worse than anger. Anger he could cope with, disappointment, he couldn't. Reid dropped his gaze to the end of the bed and said nothing. The room became very tense as the rest of the team exchanged nervous glances and shifted uncomfortably, each wanting to say something to him, but really not knowing what to say to comfort him.

"Will you go please?" Reid said, his voice emotionless. Garcia's mouth dropped open.

"Reid, sweetie. You asked us to stay." She said softly, shifting her chair closer to him.

"Now I'm asking you to go." He didn't look at her, or anyone for that matter.

"Reid, we really don't want to leave you on your own." Prentiss said honestly.

"Won't you just let a couple of us stay with you. Just for a while?" Rossi asked.

Reid huffed, frustrated.

"I'm asking you to go." His eyes were getting more intense but they still weren't looking at anyone.

"But Reid-" JJ was cut off.

"Please go." His eyes were now starting to tear up and his voice broke slightly.

"Okay." Hotch said quietly. Morgan, JJ and Garcia looked at him like he was insane, but he ignored them. He stood up, Prentiss and Rossi followed suit.

JJ turned back to look at Reid again, she reached out to him.

"Reid?" She said softly.

He turned his face further away from her and shook his head. JJ sighed in frustration then stood up moodily. Morgan shook his head, clearly not happy but both him and Garcia pushed themselves out of their chairs. They couldn't believe they were being kicked out.

"We'll be back." Garcia said warningly, like she was talking to a child.

Reid still paid them no attention. Hotch led the way out of the room and they all reluctantly followed, Morgan took one glance back at his colleague, then closed the door behind him.

The tension suddenly left Reid's body and he brought his hands up to his face, tears fast escaping his eyes and painful breaths racking his chest. He couldn't deal with them seeing everything that had been done to him. Why on earth would they watch that tape? His worst moments in life, immortalised on film and they had watched it all. Every filthy and degrading second. Any hopes he had of maintaining any dignity in this situation were completely dashed. He was completely disgusted by himself and so embarrassed he didn't think he would be able to look any of them in the eye ever again.

Suddenly the door flung open and Morgan walked in, shutting the door hard behind him. He made Reid jump. He quickly wiped the tears away from his face, looking unsurely at Morgan.

"You're not doin' this to me, man. Not this time." Morgan stared directly into Reid's eyes, his posture was strong and confrontational. "I'm goin' nowhere."

Reid looked back down to the bed, his face flushing with embarrassment again.

"I've asked you to go." He said, trying to sound strong.

"And I'm saying no." Morgan purposefully sat himself down next to the bed.

Reid met his gaze again, this time irritation danced on his features.

"You can't just stay where you're not wanted."

"Who's gonna stop me?" Morgan looked around the room to emphasise his point. Reid appeared lost for words for a few moments, so Morgan continued. "You ain't pushin' me away this time, Reid. You can be as nasty as you like – pretend you didn't say those things in that video – but nothing's gonna change the fact that we are your family and we're here for you." He said matter of factly.

Reid stared at him, his face appeared calm, but Morgan knew different. Reid had so much anger inside of him. It was understandable. He'd been completely controlled, belittled, embarrassed, used and abused for a number of days and hadn't been able to do anything about it. That anger had to go somewhere and as many things did with Reid, it went inwards.

"I'm gonna stop you..." He took a few breaths to catch up. "I'm telling you to get out." Reid completely ignored Morgan's kind words. He looked annoyed now.

"And I'm tellin' you, Reid. Not a chance." Morgan levelled his gaze with Reid's. They were having a stand off. After staring at each other for a few long moments, Reid turned his head away dismissively.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I care about you Reid! We all do."

"Don't." Reid said, holding his hand up as a barrier.

"Well we do, Reid. We care about you and we wanna help you through this!" Morgan said, passionately.

"I said, don't." Reid was staring a hole in the bed sheet. He wouldn't look at Morgan.

"And we know you feel the same about us. You told us on that video... we are your _family_ Reid. We... _I_ love you, man." He reached out and grabbed Reid's hand, but Reid pulled it back violently.

"Get the hell off me." He snapped viciously. His chest throbbing at the effort. He stared at Morgan defensively. Morgan stared back, reading a meaning from the look on Reid's face. He furrowed his brows in disgust.

"What the hell did you think I was gonna do, Reid?" Reid then blushed uncomfortably and dropped his gaze to the bed.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly.

"Yeah, you should be. What the hell do you take me for?" Morgan obviously assumed that Reid had taken his confession of love completely the wrong way.

"I said I'm sorry." Reid said, getting irritated and tense again.

"I don't know why you're getting annoyed with me, Reid. I think I have the right to be a little offended right now. Firstly, you refuse to talk to me, you tell me to get out of your room, then when I tell you that I care 'bout you, you take it as me tryin' it on. I think I have the right to be offended, not you. Not when I'm tellin' you I care 'bout you. Now if you wanna keep pretending that you never said anything on that video-"

"Stop mentioning the damn video." Reid snapped again. It wasn't like him to curse either.

"Why? Because then you would have to admit that you care about us too? Because then you'd have to _let_ us help you?" Morgan leaned forwards. This seemed like an odd way of going about things, but Morgan didn't want Reid to start off in an avoidant mind set. Reid would avoid issues forever if allowed. Morgan was setting the precedent this time. Reid was going to talk about it and he was going to receive the help from his friends he needed. Whether he liked it or not.

Reid chewed nervously on his bottom lip. He was feeling under attack right now, but he wasn't stupid, he knew exactly what Morgan was doing. He was trying to get a rise out of him and so far, he was succeeding. Morgan continued. "I'll sit here all day and all night if need be, Reid."

"Then you're a fool." Reid said simply.

Morgan was all of a sudden speechless. His mouth dropped open slightly. He really didn't know what to say to that. He knew why Reid was being defensive, but nothing was getting through to him. After staring at him slightly wide eyed for a short while, Morgan shook his head.

"Why are you doing this Reid? Are you determined to lose me?"

Reid started laughing.

"Lose you? Morgan, please tell me, what _exactly_ is it that I would be losing?" He looked at Morgan, teasing him to answer. When Morgan stared at him dumbfounded, he carried on. "When I needed you, you weren't there. Now I don't want you here, you're here. Frankly Morgan, your timing needs vast improvement." He smiled at him mockingly.

Morgan just kept staring at him, his eyes searching Reid's uncharacteristically cold, hazel depths.

"Reid, talk to me." Morgan said gently. The smile dropped from Reid's face and he tensed up again. "What is this? This isn't you." Morgan leaned towards his friend, leaning on cot sides of the hospital bed.

"Yeah well, people change." Reid said harshly.

"You don't." Morgan said coolly.

"You don't know me... clearly." Reid's gaze was hard and unflinching.

Morgan tensed his jaw for a few moments, deep in thought.

"Fine. Whatever. Have it your way, Reid... If being this hard-faced bastard is what helps you sleep at night, then fine. You do that... I understand if you're just too scared to face this, it's a scary thing. But at least be a man and say so."

Reid looked at Morgan, hurt. Morgan wanted nothing more than to reach out and give Reid a hug at that moment. He felt awful saying things like that to him, but he was the only one who would be able to do this. And he was the only one who had even the remotest idea of how Reid was feeling.

"Just go." Reid said, his eyes tearing up.

"No." Morgan said simply. His gaze challenging Reid's again.

"I don't want to talk... to you right now." Reid's voice cracked slightly with emotion. Breathing was becoming gradually more difficult too.

Morgan just levelled his gaze with Reid and purposefully sat back in his chair, as if he was relaxing. The gesture was clear: 'I'm staying'. Reid face twitched with nerves and anger. "You heard me, Morgan." He said with more force. When Morgan made no move to go, Reid's face crumpled and he started to get upset, he took a deep breath. "Why are you doing this to me?" He asked desperately.

"You're doing this to yourself, Reid." Morgan answered calmly and rationally.

Reid's lips twitched, as if Morgan was trying to drive him mad.

"No, you're doing..." He winced as a pain shot through his chest. When Morgan leaned forwards to put a hand on his back, Reid leaned away and shot him a warning look. "You're doing this to me." He said through gritted teeth.

Morgan smiled then held his hands up.

"Fine... You win. I give up." He stood up and started walking towards the door. "But don't blame me if you start having nightmares about him strapping you to that bed and wake up to find nobody here."

"About him doing what?" Reid looked at Morgan dangerously.

"Well whatever he did." Morgan said nonchalantly, but in reality his heart was pounding in his chest, his palms were sweaty and he felt sick.

"You have no right." Reid said.

"No right?" Morgan questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Reid started shaking his head, getting more and more upset.

"You have no right... you shouldn't even..." The thought of Morgan knowing what was on the tape was too much for him. "Oh god." He rolled his eyes as he darted his gaze around the room, desperately trying to stop himself from becoming upset.

"Oh, Reid. What difference does it make?" Morgan knew exactly what difference it made.

Reid took a couple of deep breaths to stop himself from flipping. The anger was building dangerously inside of him. He spoke between heavy, almost panting breaths. This stress couldn't have been good for his body.

"What difference does it make?... The people who _claim_... to _love_ me... leave me alone with... with a psychopath... then sit and watch... every sick fucking thing...he did to me. Did it make you feel better... about _yourself_Morgan?...Help you to... face your demons?" Reid practically spat. "A nine year old boy... doesn't seem quite... so pathetic next to... a begging 29 year old... does it..." Morgan's initial anger at the mention of his own past dissipated at the look of shame that was now fixed on Reid's face. It broke Morgan's heart. This was what it was all about, the tape.

"No doubt he'll have... left you a home movie... for this time too. Do you know what... you'd get to see on... on that one Morgan?" Reid was intentionally trying to make Morgan uncomfortable. He just wanted him to go and never come back. He couldn't face this. "Me being chained to the bed... like some sort of animal... round the neck... whilst Jason's friend... attacked me too!" Morgan looked shocked.

"Would you like to see that, Morgan?" Reid's face was full of venom now. "You've seen everything else... I'll tell you what... why don't I just... take this off..." He reached his hand to the shoulder of his gown and Morgan rushed forwards to stop him. Reid struggled with him, he kept pulling at the gown and Morgan kept pulling it back over his shoulder, he was continuing his rant. "You can get a... proper look then..."

"Reid! What the hell are you doing?" Morgan said desperately, wrestling with Reid's hands. Reid's movements were getting more and more distressed.

"I'm giving you what you want... did you enjoy watching that video, Morgan?..." Morgan grabbed his hands gently pulling them away from his gown once and for all. He pressed them into the bed to ensure they didn't move. Reid tried to free himself. "Don't touch me!" His chest complained terribly. "Morgan... get off me! Morgan... please." He started to break down, his head falling forwards. "Please... Oh, god, I'm disgusting." He said quietly as his defenses came down and he started to cry hard. His shoulders shook as the sobs escaped his lips. As much as it hurt his chest, there was little he could do.

Morgan shook his head, his face looked pained with sadness. He released Reid's hands and put his arms around the young man's back and head, pulling him into a tight hug. Reid at first tried to push him away, but Morgan didn't let go. Reid's sobs just became louder and finally his body stopped fighting. Accepting the comfort from his best friend.

"You are not disgusting." Morgan said gently and firmly. He stroked Reid's head as he sobbed into his stomach.

"I am disgusting." He sobbed desperately. "I'm dirty and... and disgusting. And weak... and filthy and..."

"Reid." Morgan cut through. "You are none of those things. The things he did to you, nobody should have to go through that. But it was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to stop it." Reid just cried harder at this. "And yes, I've seen the tape and I'll tell you what I thought Reid. I didn't think you were weak, or disgusting, or filthy or _anything_ like that." Morgan's eyes were starting to tear up too. "I thought you were so strong. And I was proud of you, man. And that is _all_ I thought."

A shudder ran down Reid's body as he looked up at Morgan.

"Really?" He questioned. He felt terrible for all of the things he had said.

"Really." Morgan nodded, then instinctively placed a kiss on the top of Reid's head pulling him back into the hug. Reid cried for a good ten minutes. Morgan held him the whole time, reassuringly.

Eventually, Reid's sobs melted away into little hitching gasps.

Morgan stroked Reid's head again. The tears had been running down his own face now too.

"I'm sorry." Reid said quietly, finally pulling away from Morgan.

Sat down next to the bed, holding his hands up.

"Don't be. This is what I'm here for, Reid. To support _you_."

"But I said some awful things to you."

"None as bad as what you said about yourself. Believe me Reid, if I had to pick which one of us it is that you hate, I'm in no doubt that it wouldn't be me. You were protecting yourself."

Reid closed his eyes, he was exhausted. The combination of the anaesthetic, the pain and the emotional roller coaster he had been on were all lulling him off to sleep.

"Get some sleep, Reid."

"Are you leaving?" Reid asked carefully.

"Do you want me to?" Morgan asked equally carefully.

Reid shook his head. "No."

Morgan smiled. "Well I'll be here then. And if you want to talk, my ears will be here too."

Reid looked at Morgan with big eyes for a few moments, he looked as though he was going to cry again, but stopped himself.

"Thank you, Morgan."

Morgan simply smiled and then nodded. Reid then closed his eyes and sank back into his pillow, wincing as he did so. After a short while, he drifted off into a fitful sleep, secure in the knowledge that he was finally in safe hands.


	22. Chapter 22

**Firstly, I am soooo sorry for the lack of update over the last MONTH eek! That's bad! But this chapter has been the bane of my life for the last 4 weeks. It has been incredibly difficult to write, mostly due to the lack of action within the chapter and the sheer amount of emotions flying around. This chapter is 36 pages long. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Over the last two days I have written 16 pages and I just hope they have done the whole situation justice. It's not a particularly satisfying chapter to post as everything is still so unresolved! So there is a good chance that this chapter is just far too dialogue heavy! If this is the case, please tell me! Also, I'm a little confused about where I left this chapter, but it had to be done, as I couldn't find a natural break and it may well have gone on for all eternity. A bit like this A/N! But thank you so much for your patience and your AMAZING reviews! I just hope this chapter is worth the wait! ENJOY! :) **

Morgan stirred out of his sleep, he had fallen asleep many hours ago in the not-so-comfortable chair next to Reid's bed. Morgan shifted in the chair, trying to find a more agreeable position. He rubbed his eyes as he did so, feeling incredibly tired. As much as his eyelids complained, he opened them to check on the young man in the bed next to him. Just to make sure he was still asleep as he had been earlier. Morgan jumped in shock, finding the shape in front of him not lay down, but bolt upright in bed. He took a few moments for his vision to clear, allowing the shadowy figure to come into focus. Reid was sat, his back straight and stiff as a plank, just staring at the wall. Morgan was about to swear, shaking off the shock that had filled him only a few moments before. But he stopped in his tracks, an eerie feeling filling him, as his friend sat there as still as stone.

He couldn't explain why, but he felt creeped out and nervous. Perhaps it was because he couldn't see his friend's face. He leaned forward slowly, holding his breath as he did so, his eyes wide in anticipation and slight fear. Reid almost looked unearthly in a strange glow, his white gown tinged a green colour in the hospital night lights. His hair was untidy and unclean, but it was the lack of movement that scared Morgan most. The young man was completely still, not even his chest looked as though it was moving. Morgan was very tense and felt his skin clamming up slightly. He finally shifted far enough up to be able to lean across and see Reid's face. His heart almost skipped a beat as he did so. He moved silently around his friend, finally seeing his face. Morgan felt like his stomach dropped out of his body.

Reid's face was pale, his skin was covered in a sheen of sweat and his eyes stared at nothing. His eyes didn't have that troubled look to them though, as if lost in a nightmare. Instead, they had the appearance of glass. They were wide and completely expressionless, like a doll. In fact, that was the expression that had taken over all of his face. That of a doll. A shiver ran down Morgan's spine, the look on Reid's face was really scary. And he didn't mind admitting that.

Morgan opened his mouth to speak to the young man, but he couldn't find the words to say. He didn't dare touch him either. His appearance was just too strange. He finally managed to whisper out his name.

"Reid...?" Morgan asked, tentatively. When the man didn't even flinch, Morgan leaned a little closer and tried again. "Reid?" He asked, a little stronger.

This time Reid seemed to respond. His eyes never changed expression, in fact, his face didn't even twitch. But his head turned, slowly and mechanically round to face Morgan. His eyes still staring, his head only stopping turning when his eyes came to rest on Morgan's face. Morgan swallowed as he felt his heart in his throat. "Reid?" He asked, leaning a little closer, his voice shaking nervously as he tried to gain recognition from his friend.

When Reid's glassy eyes showed no sign of movement, Morgan tentatively reached out. His eyes had a certain look of horror about them, his mouth was dropped open in fear as he went to touch his friend. Morgan's hand reached Reid's bandaged arm and his palm landed on a bare bit of skin, somewhere Morgan knew was unharmed.

Suddenly, images painfully flashed through his mind. Morgan grabbed his head, trying to relieve the apparent pain they were causing.

_Reid tied to the bed. Reid hitting the mattress in desperation. Reid hitting Jason in desperation. Jason hitting Reid over and over, getting him up onto his feet to knock him down again. Reid being handcuffed to the side of the bed and pushed to arousal. Jason strapping Reid to the bed and climbing on top of him. Reid's cries and pleads as Jason carried on regardless._

The images were coming thick and fast and Morgan couldn't stop them, they were invading his mind. "Stop it!" He cried out.

Then Reid's hand suddenly grabbed his wrist, pulling him away from the visions. Morgan looked up, Reid's eyes were wide in horror, almost as though he was possessed, his face was incredibly close to Morgan's. He was impossibly pale and the darkness around his eyes made him almost look like a corpse.

"It's too late." Reid said, his voice not sounding like his own.

He suddenly pulled out a scalpel, cutting through the bandages into his arm.

Morgan grabbed desperately at his friend as he sliced at his flesh, but his hands had no strength. Morgan watched helplessly as his friend carved out the word FILTH. Morgan stared wide eyed and panting in shock at his friend's arm, his gaze then returned to his friend's face. Reid was covered in cuts and lacerations and his eyes were looking at Morgan, pleading, like they had been on the goodbye video. "No!" Morgan shouted at Reid as he knew his friend was slipping away. Just out of focus, a shadow stood in the corner of the room and a firm hand curled around his friend's shoulder.

Morgan woke with a startled gasp, eyes wide and sweat dripping down his face. He sat forwards in the chair straight away, looking over to the bed where he was shocked to find Reid sat, bolt upright, staring at the wall.

Morgan forgot to breathe for a good ten seconds, considering his heart was pounding so fast, that was no easy feat. Reid was still as stone, much like he had been in the dream. But the room was brighter and the colours were much more natural. Although it still didn't do his battered skin any favours.

Furrowing his brows, Morgan released his breath and leaned forwards.

"Reid?" He said gently. This time he didn't touch the young man. He didn't need to. Reid blinked away his trance and looked down, suddenly pulling the cover over his arm. A movement that did not go unnoticed by Morgan. He glanced sadly at his colleague, it was all of a sudden painfully obvious what Reid had been doing. Looking at the cuts on his arm. His young colleague's tired gaze came up to meet his.

"You were breathing weird." Reid said simply. "You were dreaming." He stated, without question.

Morgan shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, kid... I was."

"Did you know that a study on the vividity of dreams and their relationship to our experiences and influences in daily life showed that, despite what they may think, the majority of people, whilst they might assume that a dream is particularly vivid, actually find themselves unable to recall very specific details about their dreams. In fact, the study showed that only 23.5% of the dreams recalled by the subjects were remembered in great detail and of the 170 dreams studied, as many as 52% appeared to have no source of suggestion." Reid finished with a slight smile. As he always did when he reeled off facts.

Morgan just sat staring at him. Had any of what Reid just said actually related to anything? He didn't think so. Morgan just raised his eyebrows at him.

"Right." He said, clearly displaying his lack of interest. There were other things he felt deserved more attention right now. Like the arm hidden under the sheet. Morgan leaned forward to speak to Reid, he was suddenly cut off.

"It's funny, although 52% of the dreams displayed no relation to the subjects' lives and showed no suggestive patterns, there was evidence to show that outside influences such as visual, auditory and dermal stimuli could cause what would be called a representation dream, where the body subconsciously recognises the stimulus and causes a cerebral reaction, hence a dream relating to that stimulus. In fact, as many as 87% of the dreams studied, were considered representation dreams, as opposed to 13% of presentation dreams where no physical stimuli or relationship was detected."

Morgan just kept staring at Reid. Trying to get the young man to meet his gaze, but he wouldn't. He was using his knowledge as a shield. As always.

"Reid, I don't need an in-depth knowledge of dream analysis, man." Morgan said, eyebrow slightly raised, although his face was serious.

"I thought you liked dream analysis? I got you that book, remember?"

Morgan smiled.

"Yeah, well, had I known it was going to be full of statistical gems such as that, then I would have given it back to you."

Reid furrowed his brows.

"But I already read it."

"Clearly." Morgan said dryly, with an amused expression. Morgan shifted himself again, clearly preparing to strike up a conversation with Reid. "So..." He said rising his eyebrows.

Reid furrowed his again and licked his lips nervously.

"So?" He asked, his voice climbing to a higher pitch as the nerves constricted his throat.

"Your arm." Morgan said, motioning to the arm under the bed sheet. "How is it?" He didn't know why he was asking this or where to even start. Anywhere seemed just as right as it did wrong.

Reid finally met his gaze.

"What do you mean?" A look of seemingly genuine confusion spread across his face.

"The... the scars, Reid."

"Well given that they are currently sutured and being treated for infection, I think the use of the word scar is a little premature." He said with a dry smile.

Morgan shook his head, Reid loved being pedantic. Morgan had to call them scars, as much as he didn't want to. That was always what they were going to be and the sooner that was dealt with, the better. Reid continued. "Treatment for the prevention of scars has come on in leaps and bounds over the last few years-"

"Reid." Morgan tried to interrupt.

"There are all sorts of therapies that have proven results and have ultimately made the-"

"Reid!" Morgan said strongly, pulling Reid out of his statistic influenced trance. When Reid looked vaguely irritated at the interruption, Morgan sighed and sat back. Now wasn't the time to discuss those scars. They were for much later down the line. Reid needed time to process things. As always, Reid processed first, did emotions later. If Reid needed to look at those cuts, it didn't mean he needed to talk about them.

Reid leaned back in bed finally, wincing as his punished ribs complained.

"So what was your dream about?" Reid asked directly. The question was clearly to set Morgan on edge, he could tell by the abundance of eye contact Reid was giving him at that moment, and it worked. Morgan shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat.

"Nothing." His voice came out slightly squeaky, he cleared his throat again, trying to sound stronger. "Nothing. Just uncomfortable in the chair, I think... Representation dream." Morgan said, referring to Reid's earlier statistics about dreams. He looked Reid hard in the eyes, daring him to challenge the theories he had so clearly supported only moments ago.

Reid eyed Morgan for a few moments. Frustrated that he'd used his own defense against him. He smiled lightly, trying not to look bothered about the fact that Morgan had just killed off that conversation.

Morgan was shifting again, still trying to think of the right words to say. The atmosphere was incredibly uncomfortable and awkward.

"Reid-" He started.

"Do you think I'll be allowed a cup of coffee?" Reid asked, innocently.

Morgan's eyebrow twitched at the interruption, he took a few moments to respond.

"Uh, I dunno." He said, leaning back and glancing to the door. He didn't really want to leave to go and ask.

"I don't see why I shouldn't. Recent studies have shown that despite it's bad reputation, coffee can be quite the healer, often effective in reducing the chances of developing Parkinson's disease, dementia, heart attacks, type 2 diabetes... in fact up to 92% of the-"

"I'll go and get you one." Morgan cut in brashly, standing and holding his hands up. Pushed into submission by Reid's obsession with studies.

Reid smiled at Morgan, and the dark man smiled back, shaking his head. As much as he knew Reid's current mental state was a ruse, it _was_ nice to see him smile.

"Are you hungry?" Morgan asked.

Reid paled slightly.

"Um, no thanks." He swallowed back the sudden nausea that started creeping up his throat. "Just coffee." Morgan noticed the reaction, but didn't mention anything. Yet another point that was stored away for later.

"Okay... you be okay if I get some air?" Morgan asked gently.

Reid shot him a look.

"Morgan, I'm not going to dissolve."

Morgan gave him an amused smile.

"Okay, kid... I'll see you in a bit."

Reid just nodded a tight lipped smile as he watched his friend leave the room. As soon as the door closed the smile dropped from his face and he just stared at the wall again. Lost in his own thoughts.

* * *

><p>Morgan stood outside the room, his back leaned against the door for a few moments. He ran a hand down his face, sighing. He couldn't get that dream out of his head. The look on Reid's doll-like face, the way his head turned mechanically, the sudden desperation the young man's eyes held, his white knuckles as he cut into his own arm, labelling himself 'filth'.<p>

Morgan shook the thoughts away. He couldn't do this. Getting lost in his own distress was not going to help Reid. His younger colleague had to come first.

"Is everything alright?" Dr Marston's voice suddenly brought Morgan back to his surroundings. The doctor was stood in front of him, chart in hand.

Morgan blinked at her for a few moments, not quite taking in the question.

"Uh... yeah... just fine." Morgan said with a hint of sarcasm, rubbing his hand down his face once more.

Dr. Marston smiled slightly.

"Sorry... not the best question." Morgan waved her off dismissively. "Is he awake?" She motioned to the door, meaning Reid.

Morgan folded his arms and leaned against the door, the tiredness evident in his eyes.

"Yeah he is." Morgan sighed, making no effort to hide his exhaustion.

"How is he this morning?"

"Avoidant." Morgan said simply, shaking his head. "He's doing everything to avoid talking about it."

Dr. Marston nodded in understanding.

"Well that's hardly surprising... I don't think I would want to talk about it... Would you?" Dr. Marston added thoughtfully.

Morgan furrowed his brows. No. He hadn't talked about it. Not for a long time.

He just mumbled some incomprehensible reply.

"Are you going somewhere?" Dr. Marston asked, sensing that the conversation had reached uncomfortable ground.

"Oh, just going for coffee. On request... He is allowed coffee, right?"

Dr. Marston broke out into a small laugh.

"Of course he is. Whatever he wants!"

Morgan shot her a warning look.

"Don't tell him that, the hospital's coffee supply will run out within the hour." He said half-jokingly.

"Oh I see... No wonder he's so slim." She remarked, looking down at her chart. "Well, if you wouldn't mind taking your time... I need to have a word with him about his treatment."

Morgan nodded in understanding. He was planning for some fresh air anyway, so this gave him the excuse he needed to take longer than he felt appropriate.

"No problem."

"Say, about half an hour?" She glanced at her watch. Morgan did the same.

"I'll be back then." He said with a small smile. Then turned and left the ward.

* * *

><p>A soft knock sounded from Reid's hospital door, pulling him out of his thoughts. Although it made him jump slightly, he was thankful for it. He could feel his mind being pulled down into some sort of flashback. His heart rate had rapidly increased and he was finding it increasingly difficult to rid his mind of the painful memories.<p>

His tired eyes looked to the door and he cleared his throat.

"Come in." He said softly.

Dr. Marston poked her head around the door.

"Good morning, Dr. Reid." She smiled brightly. "How are you today?"

He gave a tight lipped smile back and nodded his head awkwardly.

"Fine." He said simply, then remembered his manners. "How are you?"

"Aside from dying for some breakfast, I'm not so bad!" She said cheerfully, but not so cheerfully as to annoy him. "May I?" She gestured to the chair next to the bed. Reid nodded, watching her curiously. "I would like to speak to you about your treatment options, Dr. Reid."

"Okay." He said quietly.

"I know this was discussed with you after surgery, so I'm assuming you know the plan as far as medical treatment is concerned?"

Reid nodded again. He wasn't feeling very talkative.

"How's your pain, Dr. Reid?" She asked, leaning forwards analysing his expression.

He was caught slightly off guard with that question.

"Um... fine." He nodded again, nervously.

"I'm surprised." She smiled slightly. "I was expecting you to be in a lot of pain."

Reid just gave another tight lipped smile. He didn't answer. He was in pain. And a lot of it.

"I can give you something for it if-"

"No!" He said quickly and abruptly.

"Are you sure? It doesn't have to be a high dosage." She reassured him.

"I said no." Reid answered, staring her straight in the eye, uncharacteristically dominant.

"Okay." She held her hands up in defence. "Well I will prescribe you Tylenol and Advil but I can't guarantee they will relieve your pain-"

"That's fine." Reid said curtly.

"Dr. Reid, I do have to make it clear to you however, that this is against my recommendation. As a doctor, it's my job to make my patients as comfortable as possible and I know for a fact you will be in a lot of pain over the next few days. It would be my recommendation for you to take a stronger analgesic-"

"I understand that Doctor." Reid said simply. "I know you're... covering your back but I don't…... need to hear it... This is my decision."

"Okay." She shrugged. A little taken a back by how forceful Reid was being. "I would also like to speak to you about the psychological evaluation." Reid huffed out a breath. He was clearly not looking forward to this. "I have arranged for a Psychologist to come and have a chat with you this afternoon."

Reid's eyes opened wide.

"This afternoon?" His voice sounded slightly panicked.

"Yes, she specialises in trauma so she has a good understanding of how you might be feeling and what you might want to discuss with her. She is really very nice." She looked at Reid's expression. "You don't look very happy about that."

"No. Talking to a... complete stranger sounds great... A real treat." He said sarcastically, folding his arms around himself.

"Many people find it helps." Dr. Marston said gently.

"Many people don't." He didn't look at her, he refused to.

"Well you don't know which category you will fall in to until you try it, do you?" She smiled, fully understanding Reid's reservations but not giving in to them. He needed this.

He just sighed, dropping his gaze to the bed. He looked exhausted. Dr. Marston softened her gaze as she looked upon her patient. She couldn't imagine what he had been through. What made it worse was that it was at the hands of another person. That sickened her. And the fact that he had been safe and then dragged back into that hell again was incomprehensible. It was hardly surprising that he had no patience.

She glanced at her chart.

"I'm going to have to take your vitals again. They've not been done for a couple of hours." She stood up, pulling the sphygmomanometer towards her and Reid.

When she reached in to take his arm, he quickly recoiled, flinching slightly. Then he shook his head with a small, nervous laugh.

"Sorry." He closed his eyes for a few moments to calm his nerves.

"It's okay," She went to take his arm, her hand hovered over his elbow. "May I?" She asked.

He nodded, lifting his arm slightly.

"Oh, what's happened here?" She asked, gesturing to the loose bandages on his arm.

He looked at her sheepishly, seemingly embarrassed. It was clear he'd taken them off.

"I, um... Sorry." He said again, quickly.

"It's perfectly natural that you would want to look." Dr. Marston said casually, wrapping the cuff around his arm. "But it will need to be re-bandaged."

As the cuff inflated, Reid kept his gaze firmly fixed on the bed sheets. He was clearly in a depressive state. This worried Dr. Marston.

"Tell me honestly," He said quietly, "will it scar?"

Dr. Marston took a deep breath and raised her gaze to look Reid straight in the eye, even if he wasn't looking at her.

"Dr. Reid... Do you think it will?"

Reid flicked his gaze up to her for a few moments, a little taken a back. They both knew he was intelligent enough to answer that question for himself.

"Scars are..." He snapped his mouth shut. This really didn't need the intellectual answer. He dropped his gaze back down again, sighing. "Yes... I know it will." He said sadly.

Dr. Marston nodded, her face serious and sympathetic.

"I'm sorry." She said gently as the blood pressure cuff finished its ministrations. "We have already tried to minimise the chances of scarring, but I'm sure you understand, the cuts are particularly deep in places."

Reid just nodded again. He was going to wear the word "MINE" like a possessive brand for the rest of his life. The only comfort he could find, is that the person he belonged to could no longer take breath. Dr. Marston reached in, removing the cuff from his arm, he felt a slight pang of irritation as the cuff was pulled from him. All this messing about was starting to make him edgy. She then leaned in to check his temperature using a tympanic thermometer. She placed it in his ear and he heard a small beep.

"Your temperature is still a little high." She mumbled a little, sensing that Reid was not up for conversation. She then reached for her stethoscope and moved towards Reid's chest. "I'll just check your-"

"Please!" Reid said quickly and angrily. "Just-" He cut himself off as he felt his anger over boiling. He took a deep breath. "Just... give me a minute." All the touching was making him incredibly tense.

Dr. Marston automatically took a step back.

"It's okay. I don't have to do this now. I can come back later."

Reid rubbed a shaky hand down his face, embarrassed by his own reaction.

"I'm sorry." He whispered again, sadly. He didn't know what else to say.

"Don't be." Dr. Marston smiled kindly. She replaced her stethoscope around her neck and picked up her chart. "I will check your chest later. I'll just go and get you the Advil and Tylenol. Is there anything else you need?"

Reid gave her a tight lipped smile and shook his head.

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute." She moved to the door and opened it, Morgan was stood on the other side.

"That was quick." He said lightly.

"Well, he's no trouble." Dr. Marston smiled casually. "Excuse me." She said, manoeuvring herself around Morgan and he stepped into the room.

Seeing Reid's troubled look, he moved in and sat next to him. Take-out coffee cups in hand.

"You alright?" He waved the coffee cup in front of his friend's face. "Reid?"

Reid blinked for a few moments then turned to relieve Morgan of the cup.

"Oh... thanks." He said gently. As Reid held the cup, Morgan noticed his hands were shaking.

"Reid, you okay, man?"

"Yeah." He sighed.

Morgan furrowed his brows.

"What did the doctor say?"

"Nothing." Reid said, taking a sip of his ridiculously strong and sweet coffee. He let out a satisfied moan after swallowing the hot liquid.

"They have a Starbucks." Morgan smiled knowingly, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"Do they do deliveries?" Reid asked seriously.

Morgan examined his face for a few seconds, coming to the conclusion that Reid was joking, he shook his head and laughed slightly. Reid furrowed his brows in return.

"So, did Dr. Marston talk to you?" Morgan asked, searching Reid's face.

"Talk to me about what?" He answered quickly and quietly, as he always did when he was trying to avoid something.

"Whatever she came in to talk to you about."

"That's really none of your business." Reid snapped suddenly, he didn't dare look at Morgan.

"Okay." Morgan relented. Feeling slightly upset at the volatility that his younger friend was showing. "Sorry." He said quietly. He shifted back in his chair and stared into his coffee. He wished desperately that he knew what to say to make Reid feel better, but nothing was coming.

Reid just stared again, his eyes were angrily boring a hole in the wall. The pair sat like that for a good minute before either of them spoke. Reid sighed.

"I've got an... appointment with a Psychologist." He said miserably.

Morgan looked up, pausing for a few moments before answering, realising Reid didn't appear too pleased at the prospect.

"When for?" He raised an eyebrow.

"This afternoon."

"Oh." Morgan said, slightly surprised. "That's quick."

"Yeah." Reid said with a slight laugh.

"That's good though." Morgan said leaning forwards, trying to coax Reid into conversation.

"You think?" Reid asked incredulously.

"The sooner you start talking about it, the better." Morgan nodded encouragingly.

"What? Like you did?" Reid snapped again, meeting Morgan's gaze with a cocky smile and a piercing glare.

Morgan's heart leapt up into his throat for a moment before crashing back down again. This was the second time Reid had mentioned his experiences in a non-too-subtle manner. It was making him on edge. It didn't help that Reid was right.

"This isn't about me, Reid. I know the mistakes I've made." Morgan said calmly, his voice effectively masking his real feelings.

"You can't contradict yourself like that." Reid continued on.

"I know." Morgan said, trying to placate his friend.

"It's not fair for... you to tell me... what to do when you... didn't follow your own advice." Reid kept talking, taking deep breaths, but his words still sped up up slightly. "Besides, you're fine and... have done okay... without talking to someone... I don't see why I... should be any different. It's... not like... talking about events... that have already happened... alters anything anyway... It doesn't... change what's... been done, I can't... see the sense in it."

"I kept a lot of stuff locked up, Reid. Take it from someone who knows, it's not good for you. You have to deal with it, come to terms with it... You don't talk about it, you don't deal with it."

"So you never dealt with it?" Reid asked plainly.

"Not properly... I avoided it." Morgan shook his head.

"And look..." Reid said, gesturing to Morgan. In return, the older man looked confused. "You're still here." Reid said with a small smile. "I don't need a Psychologist." Reid said categorically.

"Reid-" Morgan tried.

"I _said_ I _don't_... need a Psychologist." Reid was clearly getting angry now.

"Well I don't think you have a choice, kid. It's one of your discharge conditions." Morgan shrugged his shoulders.

Reid winced as pain lanced through his chest. His whole body was tensing, which in turn was causing him pain.

"It's up to me who I speak to." Reid snapped.

Morgan dropped his gaze, trying to bring the tension down. He couldn't have Reid hurting himself like that. He didn't speak for a good few moments, allowing Reid to take some deep breaths and calm himself slightly.

Reid closed his eyes. He suddenly felt extremely light-headed.

"You okay?" Morgan leaned forwards, noticing Reid's sudden change in demeanour. His younger colleague didn't answer. "Reid?" Reid's hands were no longer holding his coffee steady. Morgan reached in to stop it from spilling. The second Reid felt Morgan's hands on his, he nearly jumped out of his skin, ultimately spilling more coffee than if Morgan had left him alone. "Shit!" Morgan cursed, quickly placing his coffee down and automatically grabbing some tissues. Before he even registered what he was doing, his hands were taking Reid's coffee and dabbing at his gown with the dry tissue.

Reid by this point had completely frozen, his eyes wide. But Morgan was so conscious of the fact that he'd made him spill his coffee, he failed to notice.

"What are you doing?" Reid whispered so quietly that Morgan didn't even hear him. He continued dabbing furiously at the stain on Reid's gown. Suddenly Reid flipped. He hit out at Morgan catching him in the face, he was pushing and hitting out at whatever he could.

"GET OFF ME!" Reid shouted.

"Woah! Reid!... Woah!" Morgan said, taking a step back, holding his now aching nose. But Reid didn't calm down. Whoever he was fighting, it wasn't Morgan. His eyes were far away and unfocused.

"Please don't do this. Get... off me!"

"Reid!" Despite the injuries, Morgan grabbed onto one of his wrists, trying to calm him. "Reid! It's Morgan! Snap out of it, man. I'm here... you're safe!" Reid struggled with him, desperately trying to get free from the older man's grip. He was panicking so much his gown was starting to slip down his shoulders.

"Please." Reid begged sadly. Tears suddenly streaming down his face

"Reid?" Morgan tried to get Reid's unfocused eyes to see him. "It's me... Morgan!... Come back to me, kid."

But Reid was no where to be found, his mind was locked in a painful memory. Morgan ran his hand down his face. Panicking was not going to help Reid. He knew that. He'd learned enough about psychology in his years to know that flashbacks needed a gentle approach. And he'd probably just made it ten times worse. Releasing his friend's wrist, he forced himself to take a deep breath and sat himself back in the chair.

Reid's hands instantly went to grasping tightly at the bed sheets. Morgan stared softly at him, his gaze sad and sympathetic. He couldn't imagine what horrors were playing out in his friend's mind at that moment. "I'm here for you, kid." Morgan said gently. "Just remember, it's not real. You're safe... He cannot hurt you now, just listen to my voice... he cannot hurt you." Morgan kept repeating this mantra to his younger colleague, knowing that somewhere in there, Reid could hear him and was trying to fight through the memories.

_This_ Reid, sat in front of him, was barely recognisable. His usually soft and bright eyes were haunted and confused. His skin colour was pale, marred with dark bruises, red cuts and sutures pulling uncomfortably at the flesh. But what bothered him most was the trail of reddy-purple markings travelling down from the side of his face, down his neck and onto his exposed shoulder. Marks that were usually reserved for teenagers in the first throes of passionate relationships. Seeing hickeys marking Reid's skin like that just made his experience all the more real. It almost gave Morgan a blueprint for where Jason's mouth had been. And he didn't doubt there were more. Many more.

Reid whimpered and another tear ran down his face. Morgan considered what had triggered the flashback. He had moved in too quickly, no doubt. Morgan mentally slapped himself for being so stupid. In future, he would make no sudden moves. "Reid, I know you're in there... you're safe." He continued.

Reid took in a shaking breath, he sounded as though his mind was releasing him slightly. His fingers loosened their grip on the bedsheets and his eyes then slipped closed.

"Reid?" Morgan asked softly. Reid jumped a little at the sound of his voice and his eyes shot open. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his friend.

"Oh... sorry..." Reid furrowed his brows at Morgan, the older man returned the gesture.

"Reid, you okay?"

Reid's lips twitched. Then he broke into an uncomfortable laugh.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" His cheeks blushed slightly. Morgan then raised his eyebrows, curiously.

"Reid, I think you just had a flashback..." Morgan said leadingly.

Reid smiled at him again, scoffing.

"No!"

"I think you did." Morgan said calmly but firmly.

Reid just shrugged his shoulders. Clearly the topic was not up for discussion. Reid was still trying to catch his breath from the horrific images that had invaded his mind so suddenly a few minutes ago. Threads of images were still clouding his mind, flashing up like faint projections into his vision.

It started when Morgan spilled the coffee and dabbed at his gown. The memory of Jason doing that exact same thing was too much. The next thing he knew, his mind was overpowering him, much like the man himself had done. Trapping him in a world where he had little or no control. He could hear Morgan's voice, in the very far distance. It was barely even tangible. But it was there. Perhaps that was something to hold onto.

Morgan sat back in his chair, gazing thoughtfully at his friend.

"Reid-"

A knock on the door stopped him in his tracks.

"May I come in?" Dr. Marston's voice came through the crack in the door way.

"Yes." Reid said quickly, thankful for the reprieve.

She came in, smiled at the pair and produced a cup of water and a small pot with containing four tablets.

"Two 500 milligram tablets of Tylenol and two 400 milligram tablets of Advil." She held the pot and the water out to Reid. Morgan shifted uncomfortably at the lack of narcotics in the prescription. It was clear he needed them. Reid was painfully aware of this too. His gaze flicked quickly from the tablets to Morgan then back again. He bit his lip awkwardly.

"Thanks." He mumbled, his shaking left arm taking the tablets and tipping them into his mouth. He then exchanged the pot for the cup of water, still carefully keeping his right arm shielded from Morgan's view.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Marston asked, noticing Reid's shaky demeanour. His hand was literally vibrating as the glass was lifted up to his face.

"I'd be a lot better if people stopped asking me that." Reid said quietly.

Dr. Marston shot a glance to Morgan. He just smiled non-committally.

"Okay." Dr. Marston said gently. She pulled a fresh, rolled up bandage from out of her pocket and held it up. "May I?" She gestured to the arm under the bed sheet.

"I can do it myself." Reid said quickly.

"I don't doubt it. But I will do it for you." Dr. Marston said confidently, moving to sit next to the bed. "Would you like Agent Morgan to wait outside?" She asked, glancing to his arm hidden under the sheet.

"No." Reid answered plainly.

"It's okay, Reid. I don't mind." He was very aware of how little Reid wanted to show off his injuries.

"I don't want you to do my bandages, thank you." Reid smiled politely at the doctor, but a hard coldness was dancing in his eyes.

"I'm afraid I cannot leave your arm like that, Dr. Reid. The risk of infection is too high." Dr. Marston leaned in. "It'll only take a couple of minutes, maximum." She smiled.

"Why should that matter?" He asked, not looking at her.

"Excuse me?" She looked to Morgan confused, then back to her patient.

"I have all the time in the world in here. The amount of time it takes, really bears no influence on my decision." He said in a slightly arrogant tone.

Dr. Marston was taken a back for a few moments. As was Morgan, he'd never seen Reid speak to anyone this way. He'd seen him make sniping comments once or twice, mostly in relation to his addiction. But never like this, now he was just being down right difficult. Morgan was grateful for the fact that Reid had been awarded a patient doctor. He dreaded to think what would happen at the inevitable shift change which, he realised, must be soon.

"So you just don't want _me_ to do it?" Dr. Marston tried and failed to keep the slightly offended tone out of her voice.

Reid didn't answer.

"Reid?" Morgan leaned towards him, feeling very uncomfortable and embarrassed at this moment. He shot an apology across to the doctor.

"It's okay." Dr. Marston answered. "Dr. Reid. Would you like to do it yourself then?" She carefully placed the bandages down in his lap on top of the bed sheet. He felt like a mental patient, being cautiously given his daily medication. This must be how it felt for his mother, having people watching everything you do with a guarded and careful expression. At that moment they looked at him like he was the most unpredictable person on the planet. He would have hated to disappoint.

He picked up the bandages and threw them across the room, silently.

"Reid!" Morgan got up from his seat instantly, chasing after the material, scooping it up from the floor.

"It's okay." Dr. Marston looked quickly to Morgan. "It's alright." She turned back to Reid. "I'll leave you be - for now. I will send in a nurse in the next half hour and they will have to do it."

"Did you not hear me?" Reid said, his cold eyes landing on Dr. Marston. "I don't want them doing."

"Reid, the doctor is trying to help you." Morgan said sternly, as if talking to a child.

"You don't really want to leave your arm like that, do you?" Dr. Marston tried, gently. "If it gets infected-"

"What? It's going to look worse than it already does?" Reid asked angrily, pulling out his arm from under the sheets and displaying it like it didn't belong to him. Morgan, on seeing the arm, took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few moments. "How can it possibly get worse?"

Dr. Marston bit her lip slightly. She didn't know what to say. No answer was a right answer.

"Reid, you've gotta think of your health." Morgan said, composing himself, unable to fully draw his gaze away from the deep, angry cuts on Reid's arm. It was like looking at a horrific car accident, he didn't want to look but his eyes kept flicking to it, picking out a different detail every time.

"My health?" Reid laughed ironically. "Let it get infected!... Let the damn thing drop off!"

Dr. Marston looked to Morgan, shaking her head to stop him from arguing with his distressed colleague.

The words hung in the air for a few moments.

"Okay. Well we can review it later." She said simply, then stood moving towards the door.

"You may as well go too." Reid didn't even look at him but the comment was obviously directed at Morgan.

"What?" Morgan furrowed his brows. "Wha- Why?"

Reid didn't answer him. He just stared straight ahead, stony-faced. Anger skittered across Morgan's features and his mouth dropped open. He looked to Dr. Marston, her face was deeply concerned. She simply nodded. Telling Morgan to respect his friend's wishes. It was clear she thought Morgan wasn't going to get anywhere.

Taken aback slightly, Morgan huffed, shaking his head.

"Fine, kid." He reluctantly stood up. "But I _will_ be back." He walked across the room moodily, looking back at Reid, hoping that he would suddenly change his mind. Or at least say something. But he didn't. Dr. Marston opened the door for him and he skulked his way out shortly followed by the female doctor who closed the door behind him.

"I can't believe him." Morgan said angrily. "What the hell is he doing?" He was pacing the corridor anxiously.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?" Dr. Marston said carefully.

He looked at her as if she had two heads.

"Get some rest?... Did you not see what he is doing?... He's refusing medical treatment!"

"I can't say it's completely unexpected." She said nonchalantly.

Morgan furrowed his brows.

"What do you mean not 'completely unexpected'?"

"Agent Morgan, he has been through a very traumatic experience. It isn't uncommon for patients to resist people's help."

"I'm aware of that, but you expect me not to be concerned? That isn't Reid in there! He doesn't talk to people like that." He said emotionally.

"No. But you have to remember, your friend has been in a situation for the last four days where he has had little or no control over what happens to him. I'm no psychologist, but right or wrong, it seems to me like he's trying to get back some control over his life."

Morgan went silent in consideration for a few moments. That's exactly what Reid was doing. Morgan's voice was softer now.

"What am I supposed to do though? Sit back and watch?"

"What can you do Agent?" Dr. Marston questioned strongly. "If you interfere and force things upon him, you are just reinforcing his lack of control. This is obviously something he feels he needs to do, whether he understands why he is reacting in such a way or not. He needs to be allowed to go through this. Forcing him to have medical treatment when he's telling us he doesn't want it, is only going to make him feel more powerless."

Morgan sighed and suddenly felt the need to sit down. He made his way to the nearest chair and dropped into it. His head fell into his hands.

"I just don't know what to do. I want to be able to help him and he just isn't gonna let me, is he?"

Dr. Marston smiled softly and sat down next to Morgan.

"Probably not right now, no... He needs some time to get his head straight. Give him a couple of hours to just have some time to himself, things might seem a bit clearer to him then."

Morgan shook his head.

"This whole thing is such a mess... He really didn't deserve any of this." He said depressively.

"You should go home – get some rest. You need a break. How about sending someone else in later too?"

"No. I'm coming back." Morgan said quickly.

She held up her hands defensively.

"I'm _just saying_... It's likely that the more he gets used to you coming back, the more he will act up around you. If he sees you've not come back, then maybe he'll realise that he can't talk to you in that way."

"_Or_ he'll just think I've abandoned him." Morgan snapped.

"I'm sure he won't think that." Dr. Marston looked at Morgan. He was fraught with worry. It wasn't healthy for him to be there any more. He needed a break. "Okay, well, consider this. These are probably going to be the hardest steps that Dr. Reid will have to take. Do you really want to be forever associated with those times?" Morgan furrowed his brows at the doctor. "If yours is the only face he sees, that _is_ what will happen. You will become a constant reminder of the hardest time of his life. I don't think that is what you want, even if you mean well... you have a lot of good friends. Let them do their bit too." Dr. Marston spoke kindly and gently. She stood up and patted Morgan on the shoulder. "Perhaps a bit of female company wouldn't go a miss." She smiled knowingly at him and walked off down the corridor. Morgan watched her go, despite himself, a small thoughtful grin tugged at his lips. He knew who she was talking about.

Perhaps that wasn't such a bad idea.

He pulled out his cell phone, his fingers deftly pressing the buttons until he found the number he was looking for. He lifted the phone to his ear and waited until there was a voice on the other end.

"Baby girl, I got something I need you to do..."

* * *

><p>"I hate hospitals." Prentiss moaned as she approached Garcia in the corridor leading up to Reid's room.<p>

"I know." Garcia walked up to her friend and hugged her. "After Hotch and then... losing you... I didn't think it could get any worse." Despite her depressive state, Garcia's clothing displayed a stark contrast. She wore a bright orange top with a purple skirt, matching purple glasses and turquoise shoes. Somehow, despite the colour clashes, the outfit worked. In her own quirky style. This was exactly the sort of thing Morgan had been hoping for when he'd called her.

Prentiss sighed.

"Is JJ coming?" She asked casually.

"No. Derek didn't want her here."

"Oh?" Prentiss looked intrigued.

"Apparently she's too emotional." Garcia shrugged her shoulders.

"Erm, Garcia," Prentiss smiled. "No offence, but you are one of the most emotional people I know."

Garcia returned the smile.

"Aw, you're too sweet." She gave Prentiss a flirty nudge with her shoulder. "I think that's why he asked you too. We'd make a good team, he said."

"Well who's gonna tell JJ that she missed out on a visit? She's gonna be pissed."

"Hotch." Garcia shrugged again. "I don't know. All I want to do is go and see our baby." She turned and headed quickly towards Reid's room. Only to be stopped in her tracks by Prentiss' hand on her elbow.

"Penelope, remember what Morgan said... Slow and steady. Stay calm."

Garcia nodded, realising she was letting her excitement at seeing her friend again get the better of her. She needed to put Reid first. Regardless of what she was feeling. She had a sneaking suspicion that was why JJ hadn't been sent. As thoughtful as JJ was, she often couldn't get past her own emotions. Garcia would never forget her lack of concern over Reid's condition when he came into contact with Anthrax. JJ's thoughts were with Henry, who had been perfectly safe. Garcia could never quite get her head round that.

"You're right." Garcia said quickly. "Yes. Slow and steady." She nodded. Prentiss smiled at her.

"Come on." She moved forward and knocked gently on Reid's door.

"Excuse me!" They were stopped in their tracks by a large nurse. "May I ask who you are?" She wasn't particularly friendly.

"Oh..." Garcia was slightly taken aback by the forceful woman. Prentiss stepped forward confidently.

"Agent Emily Prentiss and Penelope Garcia of the FBI Behavioural Analysis Unit. We work with Dr. Reid." She showed the woman her ID. She eyed it carefully.

"Wait here." The woman skulked over to the desk, seemingly to check something.

Garcia shot Prentiss an exasperated look, Prentiss raised an eyebrow. If this was Reid's nurse, God help him. "You can go in." The nurse said strongly. "But you mustn't stay too long. He needs his rest."

Prentiss looked at the nurse, reading something into her words. She stepped towards her, her demeanour now full of concern.

"How has he been?"

The nurse almost stared her down for a few moments, weighing up how honest she should be. She then lowered her gaze respectfully, nodding.

"Not good. Medically, he's doing fine. The antibiotics seem to be holding off any infections. But it's his mind we're concerned about. He's swinging between denial, anger and depression and not necessarily in a predictable manner. He's having severe flashbacks, which, if he has one when you are there, do NOT, under any circumstances, touch him. Call for one of us if you feel the need, but don't touch him."

"We won't." Prentiss nodded.

"If he is rude to you, don't take it personally." The nurse smiled a little, an action that looked slightly foreign on her face. "He is still clearly very distressed."

"It's okay... we study behaviour." Prentiss cut in confidently. "It's nothing we haven't seen before."

"Okay." The nurse said sceptically. She took a step aside. "Well go ahead." Garcia stared at the woman for a few moments, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous. The nurse had been there to warn them and she had definitely done a good job. If Garcia had been there by herself, she probably would have thought better of the visit and left. But Prentiss stood strong. Morgan's reasoning for sending the pair was suddenly becoming very clear.

Garcia knocked gently on the door. Hearing no reply, she pushed the door to and peered round.

"Hey." She said gently, upon seeing her younger colleague propped up in bed. He was staring at the bed sheets, much like he had the last time she saw him. Reid brought a lazy gaze up to look at her. Her bright purple glasses and orange top made a refreshing change to the clinical mint colour painted all over the walls. Reid had to admit that. He gave a small, feelingless smile.

"Hey." He wasn't sure he was in the mood for Garcia. She entered the room, shuffling about on heels that were clearly a little too high for her. Prentiss then followed her in.

"Hey Reid." She said confidently. She moved straight to the bed, took off her coat and sat down in the chair next to him.

Reid nodded and smiled that small smile again.

Garcia soon followed Prentiss' lead and took root in the chair opposite, so Reid couldn't escape from either side. He suddenly felt very on display.

"How are you feeling?" Garcia asked.

"Fine." Reid answered quickly, with another smile.

"We brought you some stuff." Prentiss said smiling. She pulled out a carrier bag. "Some clothes, chocolate, books, chess board, cards..." She trailed off when she noticed Reid's lack of interest.

"Better than sitting here doing nothing." Garcia said jovially. Reid eyed her for a few moments, then sighed, giving in. He reluctantly took the bag from Prentiss, wincing as he did so. He was still in complete agony. He fished his hands through the various belongings that, before this whole situation, would have been so important to him. But now, they seemed trivial. Unnecessary in fact. Right now, playing through every permutation on a chess board was a pointless, useless task and why the hell he ever bothered doing it was a mystery to him.

He took a disinterested glance into the bag then pushed it down the bed.

"Thanks." He said half-heartedly.

Prentiss and Garcia exchanged disappointed glances. They had hoped that a few of his possessions would make him feel a little more at ease.

"Oh!" Garcia exclaimed suddenly. "I made you cake!" She quickly extracted a pink tin from her large handbag, she smiled proudly.

"Is it that bad?" Reid raised an eyebrow at her. Garcia looked back at him confused.

"What do you mean?" She asked, not knowing whether to be offended.

"Not even Hotch got cake." Reid said seriously. Almost defensively.

Garcia smiled uncomfortably.

"Well, don't tell him. But I like you a little bit more." She winked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Favouritism." Prentiss remarked, an amused tone in her voice.

"Oh yeah, of course." Reid said sharply. "That and this is worse than Hotch, right Garcia?"

She shifted awkwardly, remembering her words from the last time she had spoken to him in private. She still believed it to be true, but the words coming from Reid's mouth sounded harsh. Harsher than she'd meant them.

Prentiss shot her another glance.

"I think she just wanted to do something nice for you, Reid." Prentiss defended Garcia. "It's chocolate cake." She said, temptingly, still trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Just what I need." Reid remarked sarcastically.

Garcia looked upset. She stared down at the tin in her hands, suddenly feeling very stupid.

"I'll- um... just leave it... here." She placed it cautiously on the table next to Reid's bed.

"Reid... Garcia went to a lot of effort to make that for you." Prentiss said, not letting him get away with the seemingly childish behaviour.

Reid's hard stare came up to meet hers.

"Oh right, I'm sorry. I forgot that chocolate cake makes up for everything." He snapped. Ignoring Garcia completely.

"What?" Prentiss asked, her brows furrowed in confusion.

Garcia was now looking down at her hands in her lap. She knew why Reid was annoyed, possibly even better than he did. It hadn't taken long for Reid to figure out where the blame lay.

"It's okay, Emily." Garcia whispered, then rested her eyes on Reid's battered face. "I'm so sorry, Reid... I'm so sorry I didn't see it."

"See what?" Reid snapped again. He felt so angry.

"Jason." Reid flinched at the name. "I'm sorry I didn't see Jason for what he was."

"Garcia, don't do that to yourself." Prentiss said, her mouth dropping open slightly. "No one is to blame."

"No. No one is to blame Garcia. No one." Reid said dryly.

"_Except_ Jason." Prentiss spoke commandingly.

Reid shot her a look, almost telling her to stay out of it. For a split second she felt like she was back in the aftermath of Tobias Henkel.

"Reid?" Garcia tried gently. "I'm am so, so sorry. You're right, I should have noticed."

"I didn't say that." Reid cut in abruptly.

Garcia was slightly taken a back.

"No, but..." She fumbled for her words for a few moments. "I should have seen." Prentiss rolled her eyes a little. Reid was running her round in circles and he knew it.

"You're not a profiler, Garcia." Reid said coldly. "How can you possibly understand how to recognise a sexual sadist?" The last two words were said so confidently they almost made the two ladies wince.

"Well, I know. But I worked around him. I was friends with him for two years. I should have seen!" Garcia said passionately.

Reid finally met her gaze.

"You're right." He said simply. "You should have."

Prentiss' mouth dropped open and Garcia's eyes started watering up with tears.

"Reid!" Prentiss exclaimed.

Reid just shrugged his shoulders and reached for the bag, stifling a wince. He pulled out a book and started reading. If he felt uncomfortable he didn't show it. Prentiss and Garcia watched him in fascination.

Prentiss took a deep breath, desperately trying to think of something to say.

"Pass me the chocolate cake, Garcia. If he doesn't want it, I'll have it." Prentiss said lightly, trying to bait him. It didn't work. Reid had no interest in food. The nurses found that out at lunchtime. He left his whole lunch, settling for two coffees from Starbucks. No matter how much they tried to persuade him, he simply couldn't stomach it, so chocolate cake was certainly off the menu.

Garcia bit her lip uncomfortably as the silence fell over the room once again. Prentiss opened the tin to the chocolate cake, now feeling the need purely to keep up pretences. She took out a small piece and started eating. She then reached into Reid's bag and pulled out the chess board.

"Game of chess, Garcia?" Garcia noticed Reid's interest pique slightly and for a split second his gaze lifted off the page.

She sat up taller in her seat, a little more confident.

"Yeah, sure... I'm not very good though." She said, shyly.

"That's alright. I'm nearly an expert in chess now." Prentiss said confidently, hoping once again to bait her younger colleague. "I'll help you if you need it."

Garcia pushed Reid's hospital table across the bed and they set up the board right in front of him, playing from either side.

"Who goes first?" Garcia asked.

"White." Reid cut in quickly. Not looking up from his book.

Prentiss smiled very slightly.

They played quietly for the next ten minutes, noticing Reid glancing up from time to time to survey the game. The speed at which he was reading his book had depleted slightly as his attention was shared between the two activities.

"I'm never sure how to move these things." Garcia said, like a child, pointing to a knight.

Reid bit his lip wondering whether to help. But before he could, Prentiss jumped in, picking up Garcia's knight and demonstrating the various manoeuvres Garcia and her knight could accomplish.

"What use is that?" Garcia exclaimed, looking at the odd paths the chess piece could take.

Prentiss shrugged.

"I dunno. I never hold onto mine long."

"Well if I move it here, will you just get rid of it for me?" Garcia said, picking up her knight to move it to a space where she was open to attack from Prentiss' pawns.

"No!" Reid suddenly said, dropping down his book into his lap. "Knights are an incredibly... effective playing piece... in chess." He was still struggling with his breath, which made Garcia and Prentiss sad to watch. "Particularly in the centre of... a crowded board. They are... the only piece that can actually... _jump_ over other pieces... making it invaluable... There's a reason why the move hasn't been... changed for centuries." He tried to regain his breath, suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed at his weakness. A pain lanced up through his chest and he gritted his teeth, sucking in some air.

"Are you okay?" Garcia quickly went to put a hand on his shoulder, he shrugged it off.

"I'm fine."

"Do you need me to get a doctor?" Prentiss asked, moving to stand up.

"No." Reid said quickly. "Thanks." Trying to remember his manners. "Just need... to catch my... breath." He said, his chest wheezing.

They sat with him in silence for a good minute, as he brought his breathing back to normal. "I'm okay." He said, resting his head back onto his pillow, suddenly feeling very tired. "Carry on." He said, his voice now a lot stronger. They looked at him confused for a few moments. "Your game."

"Oh!" Garcia exclaimed. She still had her knight in her hand. "I don't want to move this now."

"You've picked it up, Garcia. You've gotta move it now, right Reid?" Prentiss looked to her colleague. He didn't answer. The smile she was sporting left her face.

"L shapes, right?" Garcia said thoughtfully. Prentiss nodded.

Garcia placed her knight down onto a square and the game started moving again. After a short while, Reid appeared to lose interest again, picking up his book.

Despite Prentiss' best efforts to tempt him into explaining the rules further, he seemed to have shut down. The two women were starting to feel quite frustrated. They didn't even want a game of chess.

"Chess goes on forever." Garcia sighed. They had been playing for nearly forty minutes now.

"The longest game ever took over eighteen hours." Prentiss said nonchalantly.

"Twenty hours and fifteen minutes, actually... Totalling two hundred and sixty-nine moves." Reid chipped in, not looking up from his book.

"Twenty hours?" Garcia opened her eyes wide. "Wow, people really have far too much time on their hands." She shook her head.

"I think we're gonna be here for twenty hours at this rate." Prentiss said dryly.

"Check mate in sixteen." Reid said, glancing up from his book.

Garcia looked at him like he was insane.

"Are you kidding?" He shook his head, his gaze fixed back on his book. "How can you tell that?"

He just shrugged.

Garcia stared at the board in confusion. Prentiss furrowed her brows, trying to see what Reid might be suggesting. Garcia moved a pawn then winced as Prentiss claimed it with her knight.

"Oh! I hate this game!" She exclaimed.

Reid placed his book down.

"Here, let me show you." He pulled the table towards him and claimed Garcia's side of the board. She smiled as he quickly made the next move. Prentiss sat back, fully engaged in the game, now she was playing against someone capable of beating her. She took longer than she wanted to make her next move, Reid quickly countered.

"Check mate in four." Reid said simply.

"What?" Prentiss looked at him in surprise.

"I had to take into account... the different playing styles... You would play differently against... Garcia."

"Oh." She said gently, nodding her head. She made her next move. Within three seconds, Reid had countered it.

"Woah." Garcia breathed out. She had never seen Reid play chess before. Quite rightly, she'd never considered herself a worthy opponent, nor did she actually have the interest.

Within two minutes, the game was finished.

"Oh well." Prentiss sighed. "The days of me beating you at this are long gone."

"You only beat me once." Reid said, picking up the book again.

"True." She said with a small smile. But Reid's attention was back on his book again.

The two women exchanged uneasy glances again. They knew they had to broach 'the subject' with him at some point. They couldn't all sit in denial.

Taking a deep breath, Garcia moved her hand to Reid's book and pulled it gently down towards the bed.

"Reid?" Prentiss said gently. "Look at me."

Reid sucked in his lips for a few moments then reluctantly looked up.

"You know you can talk to us about anything don't you?"

Reid switched his gaze between the two women.

"Yeah."

"You know can trust us, right?" Garcia asked, with a small smile.

No answer.

"Reid? You can trust us, you know that... right?" Prentiss pressed. Reid dropped his gaze to the bed, reaching for the book again.

"Can we talk about this another time."

Garcia quickly snatched the book.

"Ah, ah, ah. No you don't. We need to know that you trust us, smarty pants." She said lightly, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Her attitude was grating on him.

"Just give me the book Garcia." He said calmly.

She put it on the table out of his reach. He stared at her for a few moments.

"I don't know." He said suddenly. Prentiss and Garcia raised their eyebrows at him, looking for further explanation. "I don't know if I trust any of you."

"But Reid, in that tape you said-" Garcia was cut off.

"In that tape I _thought_ I was going to die!" Reid snapped. "I didn't want you guys to... to feel any guilt... that doesn't mean that I..." Reid had taken his gaze away from the two women again. That was what they found most frustrating, the lack of eye contact. It was making him all the harder to read.

"That you what? Trust us?" Prentiss asked.

"I didn't say that." He said, getting frustrated.

"Reid." Garcia spoke softly. "Look, I understand why you're angry with me. I agree, I should have seen it... and I didn't."

"Garcia, no-" Prentiss tried to cut in.

"_I _was his _friend_." Garcia carried on regardless. "These guys weren't. They didn't know him."

"But they knew me!" Reid snapped, then he looked her dead in the eye. "They knew me, Garcia!"

Prentiss looked down sadly. It was true, they knew Reid. But Reid didn't realise the concerns they had for him. By knowing him as well as they did, it left him open to the natural judgements of the human mind. Rather than seeing a threat, they took his biggest insecurities and piled them up against him. Schizophrenia and drug addiction. Both of which came as automatic assumptions when they saw him struggling.

"We're so sorry, Reid... But he did his job well. You _were_ acting completely differently. We didn't know what to make of it." Prentiss shook her head in the team's defense.

"You know what?... It doesn't matter." Reid said, brushing it off.

"Yes it does." Prentiss countered.

"No... it doesn't." Reid said moodily.

"You brought it up, so it obviously matters."

"Well I don't want to talk about it now." Reid snapped back.

"You can't just say something like that and then stop talking!" Prentiss said with a slight laugh.

"Well you had a funeral and then just walked into the BAU so it seems anything goes." Reid spoke coldly.

Prentiss' mouth dropped open.

"Don't take it personally." Garcia whispered to Prentiss, echoing the words of the nurse earlier.

Reid shot his gaze to Garcia.

"Excuse me?" Reid said, his hard eyes now burning holes into Garcia's. She suddenly felt slightly light-headed, she'd never had a confrontation with Reid before.

"I- I said... don't take it personally."

""Why?" He asked curiously.

"Because... because you don't mean it." She shifted uncomfortably when Reid didn't answer. "You've been through a trauma... you're not thinking straight." The second the words left her mouth she regretted them.

"I'm not thinking straight... Is this a bit like when I... 'wasn't thinking straight'... when I said I wasn't crazy?" He said through gritted teeth. Reid suddenly started speaking in a slightly different tone. Completely dissociated from his own voice. "You've been kidnapped, been through ….. drug addiction, you've willingly walked... yourself into dangerous situations completely ….. unarmed on numerous occasions, you've... been infected by anthrax and now you're suffering from debilitating …... headaches and are seemingly having a psychological... break down... - I'm _not_ having a psychological break down." Reid seemingly answered himself. The other emotionless voice answered. "Perhaps not, but with a …..background like yours... it's hardly unbelievable is it? And if you were to 'apparently'... have a sudden mental break down... who would ask questions?... Surely the bureau – with a background like yours... remember – would probably find it almost... justified, their hands 'would be tied'... so to speak... Or at least that's what they would say."

Reid's eyes were now far away. Lost in memories.

"What was that?" Garcia asked, her eyes full of concern.

"I don't know. I think that must have been a discussion between him and Jason." Prentiss said, her face scrunched up in confusion.

Reid continued his detached mumbling.

"I'm sorry. I've watched this happening... for the last week and I just had... to get you out of there - "You don't care about me... you're a sadistic psychopath - ...Oh Spence."

"We can't let him do this." Prentiss said suddenly. "Reid?" She reached out to touch him.

"Emily. No!" Garcia put her hand out to stop her. "Remember what the nurse said, she said no touching."

"Okay, okay I admit... I'm a sadist. That is where I get my kicks... always has been."

"But this isn't a flashback... is it? I mean... what does a flashback look like?" She furrowed her brows.

"I don't apologise for that..." Reid was still carrying on this monotone conversation.

"I think that's what he's having... at least some form of one anyway... I wouldn't touch him." Garcia said gently.

"Then what do we do?" Prentiss asked. She was very good with human behaviour, but she had to admit, trauma was not her speciality.

"It doesn't mean I don't care about... you. I don't want to see other people... hurting you... I'm crazy about you, Spence." Reid continued.

"Talk to him... When I've had people in my group go through flashbacks, I've spoken to them and it seems to calm them."

"He seems pretty calm, Garcia."

"Trust me." Garcia said. "He's not."

Reid hands gripped the bed sheets almost on cue.

"When are you going to learn? …... Fighting will do you no good, Spencer... I've gotta give you credit, Spencer... You are full of surprises... The punch to the nose …... was a particularly nice touch."

"Reid?" Prentiss said gently. Reid closed his eyes as memories seemed to cloud his vision once again. The flashbacks were becoming more and more powerful every time.

"Reid. Listen to my voice... It's Garcia... you are safe here with us sweetie."

"Touch me again and I will give you some more." Reid's voice was seemingly emotionless, like he was reciting a list. But his face was contorted and his body was tense.

"No one can hurt you, you're here with me and Emily and we're here to look after you... listen to my voice honey... you don't have to go back there. You're safe."

"Oh! I'm sorry Spencer... That's just the funniest thing... I've ever seen - Don't mock me. I'm serious."

"Reid! Come on! Snap out of it!" Prentiss said, getting a little panicked.

"Serious?... You don't know what serious is..." Reid was clearly starting to become distressed now, it was finally reaching his voice. "Stay away from me." He whispered, his desperation was apparent.

"Emily, calm down." Garcia said, feeling very on edge. "Reid? We're still here for you sweetie, don't listen to him, he isn't there. You're here safe with us."

"Now that is how you... fight, you fucking child." The curse almost sounded foreign coming out of Reid's lips. "Stand up! Now hit me!"

Reid's hands tightened in the sheet.

"Reid?... Reid? Talk to us! Come on!" Prentiss' panic level was now starting to match Reid's. Garcia was just exasperated, she'd never had such little success at getting someone through a flashback.

"What? - Hit me!... Fucking hit me!" Reid shouted pulling at his sheets. At that moment, Emily took her hand and slapped him across the face, avoiding his injured cheekbone. Garcia immediately reprimanded her, completely in shock at her actions.

Reid stayed in the flashback for a few moments but the next second he registered the hit. He gasped loudly and pulled his injured arms up over his head. "I'm sorry!" He said desperately.

"Reid!" Prentiss tried, grabbing softly onto his left forearm. "Reid! It's Emily. You're safe." A shaky hand retracted from his face slightly and his face was scrunched up as a squinting eye surveyed the area. Almost like he was expecting another hit. "I'm sorry, Reid. You were having a flashback. I didn't know what else to do." She looked at him apologetically, then to Garcia.

"Not that." Garcia said under her breath. Then she stood, leaning over to Reid slightly. "Sweetie, you're with us in the hospital. Jason is dead. He can't hurt you again." Reid visibly relaxed at this. Garcia felt slightly proud that her voice still had a calming effect. Even if it wasn't so effective during the actual flashback.

Reid's hands were shaking. When he lowered his arms to uncover his face, he cried out loudly. All of the movement he had put his body through had obviously not done him any favours. "Oh sweetie," Garcia cooed. "Are you okay?"

Reid closed his eyes and lay back into his pillow, trying to catch his breath once again. His hands were shaking violently now. He could also feel the beginnings of a headache. He moaned slightly as a shooting pain travelled through his chest.

"What happened?" He breathed out.

"You had a flashback." Garcia said, taking one of his shaking hands into her own and rubbing it gently. Careful not to hurt his knuckles.

"No." He said, his brows furrowed.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Prentiss asked, eyebrow raised.

"I'm not having flashbacks." He said categorically.

"Erm, yes sweetie, I think you are." Garcia responded tactfully.

"You were talking to yourself, Reid. You were repeating everything you said to each other." Prentiss added.

""I'm not crazy." Reid snapped.

"Jeez, flashbacks don't mean you're crazy Reid!" Garcia smiled. "It's just your mind's way of dealing with what happened to you."

"You start seeing and hearing things…... that aren't there…... and tell me that you don't feel crazy... then I'll agree." Reid breathed out, exhausted.

"Reid... have you thought about... talking about it?" Prentiss leaned in and onto the cot side of the bed.

"About what?" He looked at her incredulously.

She scoffed slightly.

"About Jason, about what happened to you." Reid automatically pulled his gaze away, he felt like his stomach had just dropped out of his body. He was suddenly light-headed.

"There's nothing to talk about." He said quickly.

"Really." Prentiss said sceptically.

"Reid." Garcia pressed gently. "There's a reason why you're having these flashbacks... it's because you need to talk to someone, you can't keep it all bottled up inside."

"I'm not." Reid said, getting a little breathless again. He was starting to feel slightly panicked now.

"You are... you always do." Garcia said with a small smile squeezing his hand lightly..

"Just back off." Reid snapped suddenly. Then cried out in pain again.

"I think he needs some more pain meds." Prentiss said, standing up. She turned to Reid. "What are you on?"

"Tylenol..." He said through gritted teeth, arm tightly wrapped around his chest, trying to comfort his painful ribs and lungs. "And... Advil."

"Tylenol and Advil! No wonder you're in pain!" Prentiss exclaimed, immediately regretting her reaction upon remembering his 'no narcotics' rule. "I'll get a doctor." She said, standing from her chair and leaving the room quickly.

Garcia just rubbed his shoulder comfortingly and for the first time, Reid didn't feel irritated by the action. He actually found it rather soothing. He found his head leaning to one side to rest on her hand and he closed his eyes, almost in an apology for his earlier actions. The warmth emanating from Garcia was sometimes too nice to resist _and _he already felt guilty for the way he'd spoken to her. He didn't know why he kept saying these things. Partly because they were true, but there were many true things he'd never said to people before. He was just so angry and any target would do.

Garcia smiled at Reid's action, brought her lips to the top of his head and kissed him. She then rested her cheek on the same spot.

After around a minute of being in that position, Reid was starting to doze off slightly. He hadn't slept since he was first admitted, so sleep was fast catching up with him. The door suddenly opened, bringing both Reid and Garcia out of their reverie. Prentiss eyed the pair with a soft smile. Reid immediately sat himself up, blushing slightly at the closeness he and Garcia had been displaying.

"Dr. Reid." A male nurse walked in. He was big and burly. Certainly no Dr. Marston. "I've come to give you your pain meds." He picked up the chart.

"Um... okay," Reid smiled a little, pulling the sheet a bit further up his body. He didn't register the unconscious reaction, but Prentiss and Garcia did.

"You only had your meds two hours ago. Dosages are every four hours... Sorry." He said in a feelingless voice.

Reid closed his eyes. The Tylenol and Advil hadn't been doing anything anyway. Now with the headache starting, those meds didn't have a hope in hell of being effective. He _needed_ something stronger... and the more his hands shook from the aftermath of the flashback, the more he _wanted _something stronger.

"Is there nothing else you can give him?" Garcia's soft voice asked. It was laced with concern.

"Well, there are other options. I know Dr. Marston has discussed them with you. I can ask the doctor to prescribe you some Tylenol #3, which contains codeine... Exactly how much pain are you in, Dr. Reid?" By the way he was looking at him, the nurse clearly knew that Reid had issues with being honest about his pain levels.

For a few moments, Reid was tempted to lie. To tell them everything was okay, to protect his pride and stop the pitying looks that were constantly being shot his way. But he felt so desperate. He just wanted the pain to go away, even just for ten minutes. He remembered the feeling of relaxation that he used to get from the dilaudid and even though he knew he shouldn't, he found himself hoping that he would get a similar release from a weaker narcotic. Just enough so he could stop shaking. Stop feeling. Just for a short while. Tears clouded his eyes as he was about to answer.

"A lot." His voice cracked slightly. He felt so weak.

Garcia's eyes watered up too when she looked at her colleague. She glanced up to Prentiss and a tear ran down her face. She had been desperate to cry since she'd walked into the room and seen the state he was in.

"On a scale of one to ten - one being no pain and ten being excruciating – where would you say you are?" The nurse asked. He was very matter-of-fact. The women didn't like him.

Reid wrapped his arms tightly around himself again.

"Umm... about an eight?" He said, almost as if he was checking it was okay.

"Right, I'm not sure Tylenol #3 is going to do much for you to be honest. I'll have to get a doctor."

"Wait!" Reid said quickly, panicking at the implication of narcotics. The nurse turned around questioningly. Then Reid thought better of it. "Never mind."

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute." The nurse said, leaving and closing the door behind him.

"I don't like him." Garcia said, like a moody child.

"No, I don't think much to him either." Prentiss responded. She turned to Reid. "How do you find him?"

Reid just shrugged, he really didn't want to discuss his feelings about men right now.

Prentiss continued, "he seems to know what he's talking about though."

Reid's heart was pounding in his chest. What was he doing? He was pushing himself towards being prescribed narcotics. And not necessarily because of the pain. The pain was becoming unbearable, but it was the relaxation they would bring that was most attractive. He hoped that they would stop him feeling Jason's hands crawling all over him like a relentless itch. Stop him from fidgeting with the bed sheets and wanting to cower every time a man looked upon him in his vulnerable position in the bed. He hoped they would stop him feel so angry, so irritable... so desperate to break down. The emotions were all becoming too much to cope with. Paired with the pain, he didn't think he could find the strength without some help.

The doctor didn't take long, there was a knock at the door and the nurse entered, followed by a male doctor appearing to be in his forties. Reid sighed. _More men._

"Where is Dr. Marston?" Garcia asked, noticing the abundance of men on the medical staff that afternoon.

"She has finished shifts. She's not back in until tomorrow morning now. I am Dr. Wright." He shook Garcia's hand, then Prentiss', then he looked to Reid. Reid made no move to greet him, so the doctor did the same, glancing down at his chart. "So, Mr. Reid."

"Doctor." Prentiss added.

"Yes?" Questioned the doctor, looking none too pleased to be interrupted.

"Doctor Reid." Prentiss corrected him. It really irritated her when doctors clearly had no idea about their patients.

"Ah." The doctor smiled a little. "Dr. Reid... sorry... Dr. Reid. Paul here tells me that you experiencing a lot of pain." It was a question, even if it didn't sound like it.

"Umm... yes." Reid's face flushed as the doctor came closer to the bed.

"Where is your pain?"

Reid swallowed, lifting his left arm up to demonstrate.

"My chest, ribs... I have some pain in my leg too... and my arm is throbbing." He pointed to his freshly bandaged arm.

"Pain from one to ten?" The doctor asked nonchalantly.

"Eight." Reid said with less embarrassment this time.

"Right." The doctor said thoughtfully. "Your chart says no narcotics... Are you allergic?" The doctor raised an eyebrow. Reid felt as though he was on trial.

"... No..." He said nervously.

"Ah. I see." Dr. Wright looked at the chart, his brows furrowed, deep in thought. "Well, Tylenol #3 is not going to do much for you." He said plainly. "But we can try it." The doctor noticed a distinct lack of interest in Reid's face when he mentioned the weaker medication. "Or, if you like," he started carefully, "we can try you on something a little stronger. Such as Vicodin... or a very low dosage of Percocet?... It's up to you."

Garcia and Prentiss looked to each other in concern, then to Reid, nervous about his response.

Reid looked deep in disturbed thought for a good twenty seconds, he was obviously weighing up his options. But he knew he'd already made up his mind, it was more a case of finding the strength and the bravery to actually say what he was thinking.

He swallowed thickly then nodded.

"Okay... I'll try that." His voice was dry and raspy.

"Are you sure, Reid?" Garcia asked in a soft but slightly high-pitched voice.

"Yeah." He said simply.

"Okay, well I'll start you on a small dose of Vicodin, we will see how that works." He wrote on Reid's drug card and handed it to the nurse, who automatically retrieved the drug cabinet keys from his pocket. "Is there anything else, Dr. Reid?" The doctor was friendly enough, but Garcia and Prentiss still weren't keen.

Reid simply shook his head.

"I'll be back in a minute." Paul, the nurse said, following the doctor out of the room.

Prentiss and Garcia eyed each other carefully, then sat down either side of Reid. Prentiss stared hard at Garcia, trying to get her to speak first, but she had no such luck. Garcia looked back at her, slightly wide-eyed and nervous, shaking her head a little. She wasn't broaching the subject. But neither was Prentiss. They both sat back in their chairs.

Reid felt extremely uncomfortable at that moment. He knew exactly what they were thinking, because he was thinking the same thing. Did he really know what he was doing?

He really wasn't sure himself.

* * *

><p>Hotch, Rossi and Morgan stood in the room where Reid had been kept the second time round. Surrounded by crime scene investigators all dressed in the same protective clothing they were currently wearing.<p>

Rossi looked around the room.

"Welcome to Hell." He commented.

Hotch looked at him, his face creased with stress.

The bodies of Jason and Steve had been removed from the scene hours ago, as soon as the forensic work had been done. Now Hotch, Rossi and Morgan had come back to oversee the investigation.

Hotch approached once of the CSI's.

"Did you find any tapes?" He asked seriously.

"None, sir." The young man answered. "I can tell you what we have found so far though."

Hotch glanced back at the other two men, then nodded. They wanted to know as much as they could. Morbid curiosity or not.

"Okay." The young CSI continued. "On the body of the man identified as 'Jason Turner', the murder weapon was found, as you likely saw. He had been stabbed in the neck once. His body showed multiple defensive wounds, most likely inflicted by your agent. We also found two sets of fingerprints upon the knife. One obviously being Jason Turner's, they are running the prints as we speak, but we think it's quite safe to say that the other set will belong to your agent."

"He did say he'd killed him." Rossi said gently.

"Secondly, on the body identified as 'Steve' there were also multiple defensive wounds. We're not entirely sure whether these have come from your agent or Jason Turner. Skin scrapings were found under the nails of Jason Turner, but again we're not sure of the origin. These are also in the process of being tested, as are the samples taken fro your colleague. However, it did appear that at some point, Steve had sexual intercourse with someone."

"Okay, that's enough." Hotch held his hand up. "Just write it all in a report and we will look through it later."

The CSI blushed slightly. Feeling a little embarrassed.

"Certainly, sir."

The three profilers surveyed the room a little longer.

"You know the kid's right... don't you?" Morgan said matter of factly, without looking at Hotch.

"About?" Hotch said, also neglecting eye contact.

Morgan now turned to him.

"Steve..." He then dropped his gaze. "Reid told me." He shook his head in disgust. Rossi and Hotch looked to Morgan in shock. They had both suspected it, but to hear it confirmed was ten times worse.

Rossi couldn't find any words to say. There was nothing that could be said. They could call the men all the names under the sun and it still wouldn't describe the hatred that they felt at that moment.

Morgan was about to speak when his phone rang. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID.

"It's Prentiss." He flipped open the phone and automatically put it on speaker phone. "Hey, you got me, Rossi and Hotch."

_"Hey, it's me and Garcia."_ She answered. _"Where are you?"_ She asked confused.

"We're at Steve's old house, where Reid was kept." Morgan said.

_"What? What are you doing there?"_ Garcia asked, her voice full of concern.

"Overseeing the investigation." Rossi said simply.

_"Overseeing?... Why?"_ Garcia's voice sounded even younger when she was confused. _"There's no one you can arrest."_

"No." Hotch cut in. "But as we have found out before, when they are bodies, their deaths have to be explained. Whether they are an unsub or not." He was referring back to the investigation regarding the death of George Foyet. Strauss had been the bane of his life. He was there to ensure that this time, things were different. "We're just making sure that everything is done properly." Some of the CSI's eyed him, looking slightly offended.

_"Oh."_ Garcia answered.

_"Good."_ Prentiss added.

"So, have you been to see him?" Morgan asked. "How is he?"

A loud sigh was heard down the other end of the phone, Morgan shot Rossi a look.

_"He's all over the place."_ Prentiss answered honestly. _"It's hard to know where you're at with him. One minute he's fine, the next he's saying nasty things, then he's getting angry and then he can just go back to normal."_

_"That's not even mentioning the flashbacks."_ Garcia added quietly to the side.

"He had one with you?" Morgan asked, curiously.

_"Umm... yeah."_ Prentiss said, still feeling a little embarrassed about slapping him across the face. _"He literally started reciting conversations between him and Jason, word for word... The doctor says they think his flashbacks are so strong because of the strength of his mind."_

"Which doctor?" Morgan jumped in.

_"Dr. Wright."_ Garcia answered.

"Don't know him." Morgan remarked.

_"He says that they should calm down a little once he starts talking about the... what happened to him. But he did seem surprised at how early the onset of the flashbacks were."_ Prentiss explained.

"He's got an appointment with the Psychologist this afternoon." Morgan added.

_"Yeah, she was just going in as we were leaving."_ Garcia said softly.

_"He wouldn't even look at her."_ Prentiss said coolly.

"I don't see that Psychologist having an easy time, do you?" Rossi spoke, with a slightly amused tone. As good a psychologist he considered himself, he did not envy the woman one bit. Speaking to Reid about personal matters was difficult enough, he knew how to run rings round some of the best psychologists. But speaking to Reid when he was in a closed down mind set, that was near impossible. Like trying to break through diamond. Rossi always wondered why Reid seemed to consider himself so weak, because Rossi had always seen him as impenetrable when he wanted to be. His defenses were second to none. But they often did him more harm than good.

_"Oh... and there's something else."_ Prentiss said, carefully.

Morgan glanced and Rossi and Hotch, the nerves suddenly racing through his body.

"What is it?" Hotch asked, bracing himself.

_"They've changed his pain meds."_ Garcia said. _"He's on Vicodin now."_

"What?" Morgan snapped, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. "But that's a narcotic. They were told! No narcotics!"

_"We know, we know! But he asked for it. Derek, he was in agony. He really needed it."_ Garcia said, getting a little upset.

"Well that's different." Rossi added, in Reid's defense. "If he's in agony, then it can only be sensible."

_"Yeah."_ Prentiss added down the phone, sceptically.

"What?" Morgan asked. "What Emily?"

_"I'm not saying he's not in agony, because he clearly is. But you should have seen him when they gave him the tablets. Within fifteen minutes, the shaking from his hands had gone, the constant tension and irritability had disappeared and he had relaxed back into the bed."_

"That's the effects of Vicodin though Emily. That's what it does." Rossi commented.

_"I know. But am I the only one who thinks that he might just learn to enjoy that feeling?"_ Prentiss asked, the concern clear in her voice.

"We can't think like that right now." Hotch commanded. "Reid is where he needs to be, getting the treatment he needs and talking to the people he needs to talk to. We have to trust they to make sure nothing like that happens... they know his background, they will keep an eye on him. I'll make sure of it." Hotch told them sternly.

_"Okay..."_ Prentiss agreed reluctantly._ "Well we're going home for a while now. I'm sorry, it wasn't a very successful visit."_ Prentiss apologised.

_"We didn't even get a smile out of him."_ Garcia added sadly.

"Don't worry. It's going to take time." Rossi reassured them.

"I'll call you both later." Morgan said his goodbyes, along with Hotch and Rossi then turned to look once again at the scene before him. The bloodied floor, the chains hanging from the ceiling, the blood covered bed, complete with straps, chains and collars all designed for immobilisation and complete dominance. He suddenly felt extremely queasy.

"The curse of an eidetic memory." Rossi said under his breath, remembering what Prentiss and Garcia had said about the flashbacks. He dreaded to think what horrors Reid's mind could conjure up. The room alone was enough to give you nightmares.

"I can't do this." Morgan said suddenly. He wanted to be back with Reid at the hospital, but visiting hours weren't until 7pm. It was only 5pm.

"Morgan, go home." Hotch ordered. "There's no need for you to be here. The scene is nearly processed now. I won't be here much longer myself." He reassured him. He knew how loyal Morgan could be. He wouldn't leave if he felt that Hotch or Rossi might struggle.

Morgan eyed him for a few moments, reading him for any lies.

"Okay." He conceded. "But if you need me, for anything. Call me."

"I'll come with you to the hospital later." Rossi nodded.

Morgan nodded, then looked at Hotch expectantly.

"I have Jack tonight." Hotch avoided eye contact, knowing that it wasn't a very good excuse.

Morgan and Rossi looked to each other, Rossi shook his head, effectively telling Morgan to leave it. Morgan sighed.

"Fine. I'll pick you up later." He spoke to Rossi. Morgan took one last glance at the room he hoped he would never see again. At least not in person, then headed out.

Hotch and Rossi stood in awkward silence for a few moments. Rossi never took his eyes off Hotch.

"Aaron-"

"We have work to do, Dave." Hotch turned away, ignoring him completely.

It clearly wasn't only Reid who needed emotional support.


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! Forever to update, I know. I have been working on this chapter for ages! And it only ends at Reid's third day in hospital. Eek! This chapter is 39 pages long. It was 50. However, I wrote 11 pages of Reid's fifth day in hospital then found myself having to fill in the gaps between. So had I actually managed to do that, it probably would have been around 70 pages long – which is a _bit_ excessive. The other scene I have written will be posted in the next chapter. Thank you for all of your lovely reviews. I haven't had chance to actually reply to them as I have been working hard and writing harder so I will come back to you I promise. Thank you so much for your patience. I hope you're not too angry ;) or bored with this chapter. It is quite slow moving. Anyway, I'll let you make up your own minds. ENJOY!**

Reid was dozing a little when a knock came at the door. He barely roused himself. He was so tired and the relaxing effects of the Vicodin were lulling him into sleep. He felt a pang of irritation when he was awoken, just as he was starting to drift off. He didn't speak, he didn't seem to need to, as the next moment the door opened and an older female poked her head round the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I really hope I didn't wake you." She said with a small smile. Her eyes were piercing and her gaze lingered on Reid's face. She was clearly the psychologist.

With this realisation, Reid felt even more irritated. He was just about to get a welcome reprieve from his mind only to be awoken by some woman who wanted to search and examine his life. Bring up all past and present issues. Reid huffed. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to this woman. So he decided he wouldn't. But he met her gaze, unflinchingly. He wanted her to feel uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as he felt at the prospect of her trudging through his life.

She simply smiled again. "I'm Ruth. Dr. Marston told you I was coming? I'm from the Psychology department." She moved towards Reid hoping for some sort of interaction. All he did was turn his face away in disinterest. She was not deterred. "Now I just want to explain to you what the purpose of my visit is." She moved to sit down in the chair next to Reid's bed. "I'm from the trauma team. I have been working with people who have been through traumatic experiences for the last eight years. I know it has been explained to you that you will not be discharged until you have received a psychological evaluation. And that's what I'm here to do. I'm not here to judge you, I'm not here to force you to talk about anything. I'm just here for the initial process. A simple evaluation so that we can direct you along the right path to help you towards recovery... Now does that sound alright?" She leaned forward a little, trying to make eye contact with Reid, but he avoided it. Keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the door.

Ruth took out her first paper, trying to appear nonchalant. "Today will not be my only visit. I will come to see you on a number of occasions whilst you are here." Reid dropped his head back, taking his gaze to the ceiling in an exasperated manner. Ruth continued, regardless. "What we discuss during the sessions will be entirely up to you and kept completely confidential. But I must also explain to you that if you do say something that leads me to believe that harm may come to you or another person then it is my obligation to report that. Do you understand?" She asked kindly. Her brows furrowed a little. "Dr. Reid?" He looked at her, his eyes cold. "Do you understand that?" She asked again. Reid just blinked at her, then turned his head away again.

Ruth bit her lip thoughtfully. She had to continue with this. "I will also discuss with you a variety of options that will be available to you after your discharge from hospital." She sat in silence, staring at Reid waiting for a response. He was rudely looking in the other direction not saying a word.

Ruth sighed. "Okay, let me take some details from you. Your name is Dr. Spencer Reid, right?" No answer. Another sigh. "It says here your date of birth is October 9th, 1981. Is this correct?" She looked at Reid again, waiting for a reply. He, once again, didn't answer. He was now staring at the door, almost like a moody child. Ruth stared at him for a few moments longer, then glanced at the papers in the her file. She swallowed, closing the file then looked back to her patient.

She spoke softly. "You don't want me here do you?"

Reid let out a small, amused huff of breath.

"What made you think that?" He replied in a slightly sarcastic tone.

She weighed him up and down for a few moments, analysing him. Her brows furrowed thoughtfully.

"What's making you so uncomfortable, Spencer?" She wanted to understand why he was so reluctant to speak to her. Dealing in trauma, she met a lot of unwilling patients. But not normally ones who wouldn't even confirm their own name. Most, out of some level of respect, would be polite and answer her questions until they became uncomfortable. Not just ignore her from the very start.

"I'm fine." Reid snapped back quickly. Still not looking at her.

Ruth smiled a little.

"And you think I'm going to tell you that you're not?"

She stared at him, waiting for a response, but all she received was silence. This was going nowhere. He clearly wasn't ready to speak to anyone, perhaps his first day in hospital _was_ too soon. After all, he would be in for a few days.

Ruth stood up smiling at Reid, waiting to see if he would add anything else. He stared at the door, he was still as stone and his face was tense. She knew that if she were to press him any further it wouldn't end well. She moved to the door. "Okay, I think we'll leave this for today. I will come back later in the week." Still no eye contact, no answer, nothing. "It was nice meeting you, Spencer."

"Dr. Reid." He answered quickly, finally looking at her. His gaze was cold and hard, he was clearly trying to put her on edge, hoping that she wouldn't come back.

"Dr. Reid." She reiterated simply, then turned, opened the door and left.

* * *

><p>Morgan entered Reid's room bearing two cups of coffee. It was early in the evening of Reid's first full day in hospital. Given that he wanted Reid to sleep at some point, the coffee probably wasn't a good idea. But he couldn't resist. At this point he would do anything just to return Reid to a state of normality.<p>

Morgan wasn't surprised to find Reid's eyes wide open, despite the dark circles that suggested the young man was in need of a good sleep. Reid's gaze met his for a few short moments, then dropped down to the take-out coffees in his hands.

"My treat." Morgan winked. His eyes twinkling with a hint of humour.

"Thanks." Reid said simply, taking the offered coffee. He stared down at it for a few moments, appearing to consider it, before lifting it to his lips and taking a sip.

Morgan smiled again, a little amused huff escaping as he did so. Reid was always very particular about his coffee, he was glad to see that some things never changed.

He looked at Reid for a few moments longer before taking a sip of his coffee.

"JJ sends her love." He said kindly. "She wanted to come and see you but Henry is sick."

"Sick?" Reid said, his brows furrowing with concern.

"Yeah, she says he's running a fever. She was going to come anyway, but I told her not to leave him. She said she'll be here tomorrow."

"There really is no need." Reid said, it clearly wasn't only for JJ's benefit.

"She'll be here." Morgan stated. He had no doubt of it.

Reid knew he wasn't going to win this one. So he took another sip of his coffee. Then he shifted uncomfortably.

"You alright?" Morgan raised an eyebrow at him.

Reid blushed a little.

"Yeah."

"Did the psychologist come to see you today?" Morgan asked carefully.

"Yep." Reid said, nonchalantly.

Morgan waited for a few moments, expectantly.

"...And?"

"It was fine." Reid lied. He knew the amount of discussion it would cause if it came out that Reid hadn't actually spoken to her at all. He couldn't be bothered with the interrogation. Besides, Morgan had never taken counsel from anyone in his life. So what right did he have to advise others to do so?

"Oh..." Morgan exclaimed, surprised. "Good... that's great... So are you seeing them again?"

"No doubt." Reid said with a tight smile. Then sipped at his coffee again.

Morgan eyed Reid for a few moments, then smiled a little, relieved that if he wasn't speaking to him, he was at least speaking to somebody else.

"So, you managed to get any sleep today, kid?"

Reid scoffed.

"Oh yeah, loads. Between the visits, the doctors coming in and prodding at me every couple of hours and the psychologist, it's just been one long snooze." He took another sip of his coffee.

Morgan raised an eyebrow, a smirk crossed his lips. He shook his head, he always appreciated Reid's sarcasm.

"Well I'll tell you what, man. Just be glad you've not had Garcia on the phone to you all day. I've never heard so many cookie recipes in my life. I'm sure that woman's house must be made out of ginger bread or somethin'."

"She lives in a flat." Reid remarked. Always quick to be pedantic.

"Okay then genius." Morgan grinned. "A _flat,_ made out of ginger bread."

"Oatmeal and raisin."

"Huh?" Morgan furrowed his brows.

"Her favourite. Oatmeal and raisin." Reid looked seriously at Morgan.

"You're tryin' to make me slap you." Morgan said, as a gentle joke.

Reid laughed a little, a small smile gracing his lips. It warmed Morgan's heart. But then Reid shifted uncomfortably again. Morgan gave Reid a scrutinizing gaze.

"You alright?"

"Yeah." Reid said, his cheeks blushing slightly. Morgan raised an eyebrow.

"You sure?"

Reid bit his lip, looking embarrassed. He dropped his head and looked up at Morgan shyly.

"I... I need to, um... go to the bathroom." Reid's cheeks flushed even more.

"Oh." Morgan nodded in realisation. Understanding Reid's embarrassment completely. "Do you want me to get someone?"

Reid closed his eyes and huffed a little, seemingly in disappointment. Mostly with himself.

"I guess."

"Okay, no problem." Morgan said, trying to make this seem as normal as possible. "I'll be back in a minute."

Reid merely nodded. Morgan swiftly left the room and Reid sat in bed, wringing his hands nervously. He had been dreading this moment.

Morgan was entering the room again, followed by a male nurse. Reid cringed inwardly and Morgan shot him apologetic look. The man was clearly all he could find.

"So what's the problem?" The male nurse asked. Reid hadn't met him before.

"Um..." Reid bit his lip again. "I.. uh... need to go to the bathroom."

"You are aware you have a catheter in aren't you?" The man quickly countered.

"You do?" Morgan looked at Reid in surprise. No one had mentioned anything and he hadn't seen it. Reid shot him a quick, nervous glance. The subject was obviously a touchy one.

"Yes." He answered quickly, his lips then straightened into a tight embarrassed line. The catheter clearly wasn't going to be any help. Reid looked to the bathroom. "Will you help me?" He asked in a small voice.

The male nurse looked from Reid, to the bathroom and back again. Realisation crossing his features.

"Oh... I'm sorry.." He said shaking his head. "You can't get out of bed, I'm afraid. It'll have to be the bed pan." The nurse said matter of factly.

Reid blushed and Morgan looked at him sympathetically then dropped his gaze respectfully, feeling that Reid was already under the spotlight enough.

The nurse moved towards the bed slightly. "Do you want me to get it for you?"

Reid chewed on his lip. He didn't want to do this. Could he not just get out of bed? Could he not just be given that tiny shred of self-respect? Jason really didn't know how much he'd taken from him.

"Do I have a choice." Reid said flatly. It was a statement rather than a question.

The nurse gave a small smile, glanced quickly to Morgan then left the room. Reid and Morgan stayed in uncomfortable silence, with Morgan doing everything to act nonchalant, which in turn, made everything more uncomfortable. Reid's eyes were starting to tear up in frustration when the nurse returned with another nurse. Another male nurse. Reid quickly blinked away the tears and sat up. Trying to retain some pride.

Morgan eyed him with concern but moved out of the way of the two nurses.

"Okay, Spencer. You ready?"

"Dr. Reid." Morgan corrected quickly. The male nurse shot him a look.

"_Sorry_. Dr. Reid then." He said curtly.

Reid licked his lips nervously and nodded.

"I'm just gonna wait outside, okay kid?" Morgan moved towards the door, despite noticing the slight look of panic that flickered across Reid's features. Again, Reid nodded, swallowing thickly.

Morgan opened the door and exited the room. He headed straight across the corridor to the bench opposite, sat down and dropped his head into his hands.

He hadn't even considered how much shame and embarrassment could be conjured up from simply needing to go to the bathroom. He was also annoyed at the lack of female nurses on the staff today. The last thing Reid needed was two men pawing at him. Morgan shook his head. How many other seemingly simple activities would now be affected and tainted by Jason's cruelty? How many times would that nervous look cross Reid's face when he was being left in a room with another man? How would he cope with doing his job? Interviewing sadists, psychopaths, sociopaths? Morgan rubbed a hand down his face. Trying his best not to write his friend off before he'd had chance to help himself. But he just couldn't see it. Reid was strong, one of the strongest people he knew. Although he didn't look it. But certain things, Reid just wasn't meant to deal with. Hankel had nearly cost him not only his life, but his career too. Morgan just wasn't sure whether Reid could pull through this one. How were you supposed to tell someone that _this_ could make you a better person. There's not a person on the planet who wouldn't take being a worse person to avoid being raped.

The door opened and the two male nurses emerged. One huffed out an exasperated breath slightly, not noticing Morgan across the corridor. The two men leaned against the wall outside of Reid's room.

"Jesus Christ." The younger of the two said, shaking his head.

"I know." The other man nodded in understanding. "Hard work isn't it?"

Morgan's brows furrowed at the comments and anger bubbled through his veins.

"Yep." The young nurse replied, a disturbed look on his face. "You know what I don't get though?... How does an FBI agent get themselves into that?"

The other man raised his eyebrows, a small unamused smile gracing his lips.

"God only knows. You'd never think it would you."

"Do you know what _I_ don't get?" Morgan asked, suddenly in front of the men, they appeared slightly taken a back. "How two insensitive _bastards_ such as you ever became nurses."

"Oh my god." The young nurse was staring at Morgan in shock. "I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean it like _that_. I was- I was just... talking. I'm really sorry.

The older nurse stood his ground a little more. He obviously felt bad, but didn't feel the need to attack Morgan with apologetic verbal diarrhoea. Morgan just shook his head in disgust, growling a little.

"You should think about what you say, man." He pointed at the young nurse, not threateningly but it was certainly a warning. Morgan's gaze softened slightly as thoughts of Reid's pain entered his mind. "He doesn't need that." Morgan moved away from the two men as tears clouded his eyes and he went to sit back down on the bench.

The young man dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I know, I'm sorry." He said, defeated.

The older man nodded.

"I'm sorry too. It wasn't meant the way it sounded." He stepped towards Morgan, moving to sit next to him on the bench. He suddenly felt the need to explain himself, the comments really weren't meant the way they sounded. He took a deep breath before speaking to the man, who now had his head firmly back in his hands. "This is... a strange situation." The older nurse spoke honestly. Morgan looked at him as if he had dropped off another planet. "Look... we don't get rape victims in here often. People here aren't trained to deal with this. We have the psychology department, but how often do you really think they deal with internal patients? Generally, we don't have to deal with trauma in this sense... Please believe that we're not being insensitive. We're just trying to get our heads round it... we have to talk to each other or else we wouldn't be able to do our jobs sometimes. I'm sure _you_ understand that Agent."

Morgan eyed the man carefully, then nodded.

"Yeah, I get that, man. I've been there. I know what it's like to feel uncomfortable with a situation you're working with. But you gotta understand, I don't wanna hear you talkin' about my man like that. I mean, what was the whole FBI comment about, kid?" He looked to the younger nurse now. "Why would you say that? What difference does it make?"

"It makes all the difference, agent." The older man spoke strongly. "You don't realise how out of the ordinary this is for everyone on this ward. To have an FBI agent as an inpatient. We see you guys portrayed on TV and through your press releases... books, whatever. It's another world to us, agent. It's just taking a little bit of time to get our heads round it all."

Morgan furrowed his brows. The FBI had become so normal to him over the years that the man's comments seemed completely ridiculous. But he also knew that this was a perception shared by many people across the country. He only needed to listen to how many people exclaimed 'FBI?' when they were being approached for interview.

"I know. I know." Morgan said, nodding his head in understanding. "But that's my colleague in there. His name is Spencer Reid. He is _not_ some _character_ out of a film. Right now, he's not an FBI agent. He's just a distressed victim of a violent crime. He's scared and he's upset and he needs understanding and he needs protecting. Regardless of the job he does, it doesn't mean he'll react any better to this. He is just like any other patient. He has the same needs, the same fears." A tear ran down Morgan's face.

"I know." The older man said. "And we understand that. Trust me, we do. I've been nursing a long time... and whilst I've never taken care of someone under these circumstances, I do know what my patients need. I'm sorry you felt we disrespected your colleague. That really was not our intention."

Morgan nodded, sighing. Before he could speak again, a buzzer sounded and a little red light flashed above Reid's door. The older nurse who, according to his name tag, was named Phillip, looked to the younger one as he knocked on the door.

Phillip then turned to Morgan. "We'll be back out in a minute."

Morgan nodded again in response, watching them carefully as they entered Reid's room. They seemed genuine enough. He just couldn't help this over protective streak that kicked in whenever Reid was in trouble. He wanted nothing more than to be in the room with Reid at that moment, just to support him around the strange men who were no doubt making him incredibly uncomfortable. However unintentionally. Morgan sighed to himself. What right did he have to be so protective? The one time Reid actually needed protecting, he hadn't helped him. Yet now he was lashing out at two nurses who had done little more than express their disgust at the treatment of his colleague. He felt like a fraud. Only being protective of Reid at times when it really didn't matter, earning his self-respect from these small acts so that when something major did happen, he could look back at all of the times he had protected him. No matter how insignificant they were.

Morgan sat depressively for the next few minutes, until the younger nurse suddenly emerged from Reid's room, he ran straight over towards Morgan.

"We need your help." He said quickly, motioning for Morgan to follow him. Panic flashed in Morgan's eyes and he was straight up, almost running after the nurse who was fast returning to Reid's room.

When Morgan entered the room, Phillip was stood by the bed talking softly to a hyperventilating Reid. His chest was rising and falling at a remarkable rate and his eyes were wide in fear. He was having a panic attack.

The younger nurse looked helplessly to Morgan. "We can't calm him down!"

"Mark, keep your voice down." Phillip hissed. Aware that the last thing his patient needed was panic from the nurses.

Morgan was suddenly at Reid's side and automatically grabbed his hand, Reid tried to pull it away, but Morgan held on. He kept his grip as soft and controlled as he could, trying not to squeeze his damaged knuckles.

"Reid. I'm here with you, man... Take some deep breaths, calm down. No one is going to hurt you." He said softly.

"I know... I know... I know." Reid kept repeating through his panicked breaths. "Can't... breathe..." The fear in Reid's eyes was terrifying. He looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"Reid, listen to me. You need to get your breathing under control. Take a deep breath in..." Morgan tried breathing in and out slowly to encourage Reid to do the same. "And out..."

Reid tried to copy Morgan, but his heart was pounding too fast. His chest was in agony but he couldn't help his breathing. He felt like he was going to die.

Reid was squeezing Morgan's hand so tightly, it was making the older man wince.

Morgan, noticing that Reid wasn't following his instruction tried again. "Reid. You are safe. _Nothing_ bad is going to happen to you." He knew he needed to reassure him and give him positive thoughts.

Reid nodded frantically.

"Say it to yourself, Reid. You're safe."

Through panicked breaths, Reid repeated the words over and over.

"I'm safe... I'm safe..." He was nodding still. The pressure not relenting from Morgan's hand. The breathing was not slowing down. Reid must have been in agony. "I'm going... to die..." Reid closed his eyes.

"No, Reid... No you're not. It's just a panic attack, man." He took his other hand and covered Reid's with it in a comforting gesture. "It'll all be over in a few minutes... I promise."

Reid nodded again, desperately.

Morgan whispered calmly. "You're fine... you're fine." Reid's hair was starting to stick to his face now, Morgan stroked it back off his forehead. "Tell yourself... you are fine." Morgan ordered, not harshly, but firmly.

Reid nodded quickly, over and over.

"I'm fine... I'm fine..." He choked out between gasps. Tears were starting to run down his face, but Morgan was sure it was more from the pain and the fear of dying than anything else. "I'm fine..." After a good minute of repeating the words over and over, he was finally starting to sound like he was believing it. His breathing calmed down a little and his chest wasn't pumping away quite so violently.

"Now take deep breaths..." Morgan suggested. Once again talking him through the deep breathing. It took a good ten minutes before Reid was actually breathing relatively normally. It was still heavy and laboured but at least he wasn't hyperventilating. He kept muttering the words 'I'm fine' to himself. He slumped forwards as much as his injured ribs would allow, his head dropping in exhaustion.

"Good job." Phillip said with quiet admiration. "I don't think we could have done that." He said honestly.

Morgan looked up, a slightly exasperated sigh leaving his lips as he did so.

"A familiar face helps a lot." Morgan said knowingly. When the nurses were clearly waiting for an explanation, he answered. "My aunty used to have panic attacks a lot. I used to talk her through them. Positive thinking, reassurance and deep breathing. Works almost every time... Well at least it has done so far."

Morgan felt Reid squeeze on his hand and his attention was drawn back to his colleague.

"I'm sorry." Reid said weakly.

"Don't be." Morgan said seriously.

"Thank you for your help, agent." Phillip cut in suddenly, realising it was time to leave the room.

"Morgan." He nodded to the nurse.

Phillip smiled and nodded.

"Let us know if you need anything Dr. Reid. Anything at all." He said.

Reid didn't look up, he was too embarrassed. But he at least answered.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

The two nurses then left the room. Morgan couldn't help but wonder what they were saying on the other side of the door this time. He hoped they had learned from their original mistake and would discuss it somewhere more private in future. If they really had to discuss it at all.

"Reid, lie down." Morgan suggested, taking the remote control for the bed and lying the back rest flatter. "You need to get some rest." He pressed a hand to Reid's shoulder and the young man didn't argue.

"I made... a complete... fool of myself." He said, lying back and closing his eyes. He didn't want to look at Morgan.

"No you didn't." Morgan countered.

"I did." Reid said, with a tired sigh. He was clearly in desperate need of sleep and looked as though he might actually drop off at any second.

"Reid, stop judging yourself. The only person who thinks that is you... You're doing well." Morgan said reassuringly.

Reid snorted.

"Feels like it." He said sarcastically with a small smile.

Morgan stared hard at him.

"You are."

Reid looked at him, disbelieving, his face asking the question he couldn't be bothered to speak: 'seriously?'

"You're coping." Morgan said simply. "And it's a start."

Reid looked at Morgan for a few moments longer, thoughtfully, then nodded a little.

Morgan patted Reid's hand.

"Get some rest. I'll come back tomorrow."

* * *

><p>"Dr. Reid."<p>

Reid jumped slightly as he was brought out of his daze. He had been staring at the same page in his book for the last five minutes. It was his second day in hospital and he wasn't yet used to his surroundings. If he had to stay much longer, he figured they may as well install a revolving door for the constant stream of people who were in and out all day long.

It was only 2pm and he had already had a visit from the attending doctor, a nurse for blood tests and Morgan, JJ and Rossi.

He looked up to find Ruth, his psychologist gazing at him. His shoulders slumped at the realisation that she was back for round two.

"Thought you said later in the week." Reid remarked, looking back down at his book. Now focusing his attentions on actually reading it. Anything to get rid of her.

"It is later in the week." Ruth said, moving towards the bed. Her gaze was then taken to Reid's hands and the speed at which he was turning the pages. "You're a fast reader." She commented.

"Hmm." Reid didn't look up, flicking a page over.

"How are you today?" She smiled a little, trying not to be overly patronising.

"Sick of that question." Reid said with feigned cheerfulness, still not looking up from his book.

Ruth huffed a small laugh, nodding a little in understanding.

"Sometimes I get sick of asking it." She said lightly, trying to bridge the icy gap between them.

"Then stop asking it." He said simply.

She raised her brows at his tone. Reid was so on the defensive, tapping away at his shell wasn't going to do anything. Often, bull-dozering through could be more effective.

"I'm here to talk about what happened to you, how does that make you feel, Dr. Reid?" She asked, calmly.

Reid brows furrowed and he had clearly stopped reading down his page. He then swallowed and shook his head unconsciously, clearly making the decision to ignore the question and keep on reading.

The psychologist made the decision to sit this one out. Reid had already spoken to her much more today than she had the day before so that was, at least, an improvement. Regardless of how much venom he had put behind the words.

She sat and watched him, not trying to make him uncomfortable, but at least make him acknowledge her presence. She sat in silence, just gazing between him and his book for a good minute and a half. About half way through, the pace of his reading had noticeably slowed. By the minute and a half mark, it was clear he was only turning pages to keep up the pretence.

Reid sighed, finally loosening his grip on the book in his hands.

"Why are you here?" Reid asked coldly.

"To help you explore your feelings." Ruth replied simply.

Reid then looked at her.

"No. _Why_ are you here? Haven't you got better things to be doing... Shouldn't you be at home with your daughter?"

Ruth furrowed her brows. How did he know she had a daughter?

"After all, the divorce must be taking its toll on you, and her. She will need all of the support she can get from you. I mean, what is she? Thirteen? Fourteen?... It's a difficult enough age as it is without the added pressure of a divorce."

"Excuse me." Ruth said, trying to cut him off, but Reid ploughed on.

"But instead you've been logging more hours at work than ever, pushing her further and further towards her father. You feel like you're to blame so you don't see why you should have your daughter's support. Perhaps the affair wasn't a good idea, or maybe it was and that's why you're logging more hours. What is the rule on relationships in the workplace?"

"Okay, that's enough!" Ruth snapped. She stared hard at him, her gaze a combination of disbelief, concern and awe. Her arms were tightly folded protectively in front of her. She shook her head. "How...?" She couldn't even finish her sentence.

Reid sat back a little, taking great pleasure in making the woman feel uncomfortable.

"You wear a necklace saying 'MUM'... It's too delicate to be a gift from a boy and... too inexpensive to have been bought... by an older child or an adult on behalf of a child... So it's probably safe to say it was bought... out of pocket money. Typically, a thirteen or fourteen... year old child would deem that a suitable gift for their mother... Whereas an adult might overcompensate on behalf of the child... and an older child might buy you something more practical... or hard-wearing. Your divorce is clear... You don't wear your wedding ring, but your thumb... is still drawn to its original position. If you were wearing it... you would spend your life spinning it around... You had no reason to come in to see me again today... in fact, it probably would have been more... beneficial had you left it a couple of days... But still, you're here. Which suggests to me... that there is something you don't want to go home to... Perhaps an angry teenage girl? When I said you... blame yourself for the split, you automatically... crossed your legs, a body signal for hiding your sexuality... You also instinctively reached for your ID, as if it was being shielded... Shielded from the damage your work-place affair would cause." Reid smiled a little self-satisfied smile as he regained his breath into his aching chest.

"Are you done?" Ruth asked, coldly.

Reid raised his eyebrows momentarily seeming to think, then nodded, taking his gaze back to his book.

Ruth shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Okay, I think that concludes our sessions..." Reid didn't look at her. "I am going to transfer you to my colleague's service. He is very good and extremely understanding."

Reid looked up suddenly, his eyes flashed with panic.

"He?"

"Well yes, Dr. Reid. There is only two of us on the inpatient psychology team. Myself and Peter. So if you do not want to work with me, then I will refer you to him."

"I don't want to speak to him." Reid said simply.

"Well as I no longer wish to work with you, I'm afraid you don't have any other option. You require a psychological assessment before you can be discharged. I will refer you to Peter and he will arrange an appointment." She stood, leaving Reid aghast.

"You can't do that." He said suddenly, slight desperation creeping into his voice.

"I have no other option." She shrugged her shoulders, playing Reid at his own game. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"But- you- ….. you can't do this." Reid said helplessly.

"Dr. Reid, I do not expect to be spoken to in the manner you have just spoken to me."

"But- I-" Reid was fumbling with his words. He hadn't expected this. He didn't want to speak to her, but he wanted to speak to a man even less.

"I'm sorry." She said, shrugging her shoulders, appearing as though her hands were tied. "I will refer you to Peter."

Reid's mouth hung open slightly. He didn't know what to say.

In contrast, Ruth stood confidently, knowing exactly what she was doing. True enough, she didn't appreciate the way he had spoken to her and his words had been painfully true. But in a way, he had just given her the perfect way in. Even if it didn't seem like it at that moment.

Reid dropped his gaze, depressed. Mentally slapping himself for being so stupid. Why had he said those things?

When he looked back up, Ruth had gone. He sighed.

* * *

><p>Hotch was sat in his office, pawing over the papers in front of him. His forehead was resting a little on his hand and if anyone were to look at him in that moment, he looked like a man who had far too many troubles on his mind.<p>

He had been filling in incident reports all morning, cursing the fact that every event had to be described in complete detail. He also had to fill in the forms for Reid to take personal time, once again, explaining the circumstances in exhausting detail. Not to mention that he had to figure out the logistics of running two teams when they were missing three agents and a technical analyst.

He felt his blood boiling at the thought. One of his technical analysts, someone he had helped to employ had been behind all of this. He had single-handedly torn the BAU apart, killing a lead agent and one of his subordinates, raping another, leaving him too traumatised to work and then not to mention the fact that Garcia would have to take on the responsibilities for two teams.

The whole situation was a complete mess. He put his pen down with a sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

"You don't have to do all of that now." Strauss said, standing at the door.

Hotch looked up quickly, in surprise. He sighed again.

"It's got to be done." He shrugged. "I don't want to be doing it when the team is back in."

Strauss nodded in understanding.

"How long have you given them?" She crossed her arms.

"Two days... just so they can get their heads round things. They'll be back in tomorrow."

Strauss nodded again. She moved into the room, closing the door gently behind her. She headed towards the chair on the opposite side of Hotch's desk. Her gaze softened, an expression that almost seemed out of place on her face.

"How is he?" She asked gently.

Hotch just shook his head, depressively.

"I wish that bastard was still alive so I could kill him myself."

Rather than looking taken a back, Strauss just dropped her gaze in contemplation.

"That wouldn't change anything, Aaron." She said simply.

"No?" He raised his eyebrows. "Well it would make me feel better."

Strauss shook her head a little, mostly at the situation, rather than what Hotch had said.

"How is he?" She tried again, realising he'd dodged the question.

"If he'd lived, I'd have made sure he got the death penalty and spent the rest of his life on death row for what he's done. I'd have him rot in hell... Put in some cell like an animal, like he treated Reid." Hotch's fists were now clenched.

Strauss looked at him in concern.

"He's not important now, Aaron. He's gone. What's important is getting your agent – your team, through this."

"Easier said than done." Hotch muttered quite uncharacteristically.

Strauss furrowed her brows, realising Hotch still hadn't answered her question. He was just about to start off on another rant when she cut him off completely.

"How is he?" She asked strongly, making it clear she wanted an answer.

Hotch's eyes flashed uncomfortably.

He took a deep breath, then let it out.

"Not good." He said simply. "Morgan called before. He's having panic attacks and flashbacks."

"Have you been in to see him?" She asked, curiously.

Hotch dropped his gaze and picked up his pen again.

"Not since he was admitted. He's had lots of visitors." He said as if to justify himself.

Strauss raised her eyebrows.

"Are you going to see him later?"

Hotch started flicking through the papers.

"This needs doing and I have Jack, so I don't think I'll get over there today."

"I've already said leave that." Strauss said, motioning to the papers.

"It needs doing." Hotch said simply.

Strauss looked at him for a few moments, sensing his reluctance.

"You can do that tomorrow." She said firmly. "And that's an order."

Hotch looked at her, hard.

"I will get over there when I can." He said simply.

"Good." She answered lightly. "I will meet you there later."

Hotch appeared slightly taken a back.

"You are going?"

Strauss straightened up proudly.

"And why not? He is one of my agents." She stood up. "He needs to know that he has our support." She moved towards the door, leaving Hotch in slight shock. "I will see you later... seven o'clock." Then she left the room.

* * *

><p>Rossi sat next to Reid who was fidgeting in the bed, playing with his fingers, taking the odd glance to the clock on the wall.<p>

Rossi watched him for a few moments, then smiled. He'd only arrived a few moments before, so the bag he had brought with him lay unopened on the floor. Reaching down, he lifted it onto his lap opening it dramatically.

"I've brought you something." He said mysteriously.

"Oh?" Reid said, barely listening.

He pulled out a portable DVD player, it was small, but more than adequate for its function.

"Here." He held it towards Reid who wasn't really paying attention. "Reid."

The younger man turned, slightly irritated and looked at the DVD player as if it was a foreign object.

"What's that?"

Rossi snorted, highly amused that a man of twenty-nine years of age didn't know what a portable DVD player was.

"It plays DVD's." Said Rossi proudly. He reached down into his bag again, pulling out a pile of DVDs. "You can watch them when you get bored." He smiled, clearly pleased with himself.

Reid stared at the pile, furrowing his brows.

"You've been going through my things?" He said, seemingly unhappy.

Rossi raised his eyebrows.

"Just your DVDs... You have quite the collection." He joked, holding up a Star Trek DVD. Reid snatched it from him.

"You had no right." Reid said quickly.

Rossi was more than aware of how private Reid was. The idea of people being in his apartment full-stop was strange to him. But Rossi couldn't help but feel a little offended that he wasn't trusted enough to be in his apartment.

"Reid... I only went for DVDs. I didn't touch anything else." He said defensively. Reid eyed him for a few moments, then nodded. He then turned to look at the clock again. "You're welcome." Rossi said under his breath. Reid ignored him, fidgeting again. Rossi watched him for a few moments, curious about his behaviour.

The next moment, a nurse walked in. She smiled as she saw Rossi at the bed.

"Hi." She said sweetly. Then she moved towards Reid with a small medicine pot in her hand. "Here you go." Reid looked eagerly towards the pot and took it, automatically taking the pills that were resting inside.

"Thank you." Reid said, he couldn't help the slight look of relief that crossed his features. This didn't go unnoticed by Rossi, he sucked in a concerned breath.

"Is there anything else you need?" The nurse said, signing his drug card.

"No, thanks." Reid answered, leaning back into his pillow, looking much more content than he had moments before.

"Okay. Well I'll see you later." The nurse turned with a smile, nodded to Rossi, then left the room.

Rossi stared at Reid for a few long moments, Reid seemed oblivious.

"So... you still having bad pain?" Rossi asked, not necessarily hiding the accusation from his voice.

Reid met his gaze then licked his lips uncomfortably.

"Yeah." He said, his voice cracking slightly with nerves.

"And they're helping, are they?" Rossi said pointedly.

Reid's gaze hardened.

"That is the point." He snapped back.

Rossi raised his brows, not rising to Reid's attitude. Instead, he sighed a little and sat back in his chair, deflated. He didn't really feel that way, but the body language was for Reid's benefit.

They sat in silence for a short while, until Reid started to become uncomfortable. "I'm sorry." He said, quietly, looking to the DVDs Rossi had proudly displayed on the table. "I _am_ grateful." His soft gaze landed on Rossi's and he gave a small awkward smile.

Rossi just smiled and nodded in return. He was too old to be made to feel uncomfortable by someone so much younger than him. Regardless of the circumstances. He wasn't going to suddenly change his behaviour towards Reid just because he'd been through a traumatic experience. If he wasn't happy with the way he was behaving, he was going to make damn sure he knew it. Within reason, obviously.

"So, what we watching?" Rossi said, gesturing to the pile.

"I don't think I feel like watching anything." Reid sighed. Then quickly looked to Rossi again, nervous he might have offended him. "But I will... at some point." He added.

Rossi just nodded, his lips in a tight line.

A knock came at the door and it opened slightly.

"Can I come in?" A female voice asked.

Reid furrowed his brows at the voice, however Rossi didn't seem surprised at all.

"Yes." Reid said, sitting up straight trying to make himself look more presentable. He looked to Rossi but his gaze was focused on the slowly opening door.

Strauss' head popped round, a serious expression marred her face.

"Dr. Reid." She said formally, then glanced to the chair next to the bed. A look of surprise washed over her features. "David." She exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Aaron called. Asked me to come over, Jack's had a bad day at school." He said simply.

Strauss moved into the room, not taking her eyes off Rossi.

She opened the door wide behind her.

"A word." She said, sternly.

Reid furrowed his brows as Rossi automatically stood.

"You're not in the office now, Erin." He said casually. Shooting a look to Reid before walking past her and out of the room.

Strauss didn't look at Reid. She just dropped her gaze.

"Excuse us." She said respectfully.

Closing the door behind her, she followed Rossi across the corridor.

"So..." Rossi said, a slight joke in his voice. Although it wasn't meant lightly. He really didn't want to be dealing with Strauss and her command and conquer attitude. He met her gaze, calmly.

"David, why isn't Aaron here?" She asked, folding her arms.

"He said he had Jack." Rossi answered simply.

"And Haley's sister couldn't take him?" She raised her eyebrows in a challenge.

"What can I say? The kid had a bad day at school." Rossi said nonchalantly, not rising to the bait.

"I asked him to be here, personally."

"And Jack asked him to stay... personally. If you ask me, I know which person I'd listen to." Rossi said, knowing he was winding her up. But not entirely sure why. Sometimes he couldn't help it.

Strauss just stared at him for a few moments. Rossi didn't normally feel uncomfortable under Strauss' scrutinising gaze, but this time it was different. Strauss shook her head.

"And what about Dr. Reid?"

"Reid has had non-stop company for the last two days, Erin. I think Hotch can afford to take a back seat to help out his son."

"But how long is he going to be in this back seat?" Erin asked, curiously. "What else will come up?"

Rossi glared at Strauss now.

"He is supporting his son."

Strauss looked back at him calmly, almost sympathetically.

"Well if you believe that, then perhaps your profiling skills aren't as good as we thought." She said pointedly, turning away from the old profiler. Rossi stood in silence, words unable to leave his lips.

She was right and he knew it. But what was he supposed to do? Accuse Hotch of lying? If it was paperwork or anything else, he would have taken great pleasure in telling Hotch he was being as asshole and to get his behind down to the hospital. But it was Jack. Jack was always going to have to come first, regardless of the excuse.

It was only Reid's second day in hospital after all. Hotch would be there tomorrow, no doubt. The kid meant too much to him to just leave him without the support of his boss. Although Reid knew that people were supporting him, Rossi was extremely aware of the level of respect Reid held for his boss. He also knew how much Reid tried to prove himself. He would need Aaron's full support if he were ever going to have any self-respect again. He needed reassurance from them all, most importantly, from Hotch.

He shook his head, annoyed that Strauss had silenced him. It was unfamiliar territory. He reluctantly followed her back into the room and returned to his seat.

Strauss had settled herself down in a chair on the opposite side of the bed and was eyeing Reid carefully. She couldn't believe how bad he looked. He had clearly been badly beaten, the bruises looking out of place on his soft, youthful features. She cast a glance to his arm and wondered if the rumours were true. It appeared as though they might be. His arm was bandaged in exactly the place she had heard about. She had meant to ask Hotch if there was any truth in it, but she supposed when she returned to the office, there would be a full report on her desk anyway. Then her gaze wandered to the hickeys marring his neck and side of his face. Nothing gave away the sexual elements of his experiences more than that. Her lips tightened into an angry line for a few moments.

"So, how are you?" She said, seriously.

Reid cleared his throat, feeling completely scrutinised.

"I'm fine, thanks." He gave a small smile. "And you?"

She raised her eyebrows, seemingly surprised at the question.

"I'm okay... thank you for asking." She shot a glance to Rossi, as if to say 'this is how you speak to your boss'. She then sat for a few moments, considering why she had made the effort to show her face. "I just want you to know that you have full support from everyone at the Bureau."

"Thanks." Reid said in a small voice, suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed at the prospect of everyone knowing about his situation.

"Your post will be kept open, should you decide to return." She smiled a little. Giving softer eye contact than Rossi actually thought possible. There was something strange about all of this, he thought. He'd never seen Strauss appear so concerned. Normally something like this would have been considered a hindrance, an irritation. But there she was, giving her full support to a colleague that she barely even knew. And Reid didn't look surprised in the slightest. It was odd to say the least.

Reid's lips tightened into a troubled line.

"Well... we'll see what happens." He said non-committally.

"Of course." Strauss nodded in understanding. The room quickly descended into silence again.

Rossi watched the pair carefully. Strauss looked to be trying to make eye contact with Reid, but he wasn't giving her anything. Which wasn't like him. Normally he would feel obliged to give eye contact out of respect for her position. But he wasn't. And Strauss didn't seem bothered by it in the slightest. They almost appeared comfortable with each other. Almost.

Strauss then shifted slightly in her chair, her full focus on Reid. Almost as if she was trying to push Rossi out of the conversation. "I never got to thank you." She said in muted tones. She was aware that Rossi was listening, but made the point that it was something he was privileged to be hearing.

Reid's brows furrowed a little.

"For what?" He asked, finally looking at her.

She shot an insecure glance to Rossi, then hushed her voice even more.

"For helping me with... well..." She gave him a knowing look.

Reid face lifted in realisation.

"Oh... you're welcome." He said gently. That explained why she was here there.

"You helped Erin with her drinking?" Rossi asked tactlessly.

Her face flushed at this and she dropped her gaze to the bed in embarrassment. Reid quickly shot him a look.

"And?" Reid said, defensively.

"Nothing." Rossi said quickly. Pissing off both his boss and Reid at the same time was not something he wanted to do. He cared less about the boss part, it was his colleague he was concerned about. He really didn't want to push Reid any further away than he was already. He stood.

"I'll wait outside for a few minutes." He said respectfully, moving to the door and leaving the room.

"I'm sorry." Reid said, apologising on behalf of the older profiler.

"Don't." Strauss replied. "I'm more than used to David Rossi by now." She said, the beginnings of a smile crept into her eyes. However, she couldn't help but notice the lack of light in Reid's. She couldn't imagine what he had been through, what he was going through now. And frankly, she didn't want to. "I'm sorry for what you've been through." She said sincerely.

Reid just nodded uncomfortably. Strauss continued. "What he has done to you... it's absolutely disgraceful. I don't know how else to say it."

Reid was looking gradually more and more tense. He'd managed to go almost half a day without it being mentioned, since Ruth in the morning, and it had been bliss.

"Hmm..." He hummed, not giving her an answer.

"I just wish he was still alive so he could pay for what he has done. He deserves to rot in hell. The fact he got through the Bureau interview process..."

"I don't want to talk about it." Reid snapped quickly, having had enough. Then his face dropped, as he remembered who he was speaking to. "I'm sorry, Ma'am." He corrected himself. "I just..." He was lost for words.

No matter how she tried, Strauss couldn't lift the sudden darkness that had graced her features. She couldn't help it. It was an instant reaction for her. If anyone talked back to her, then she would shoot them a look.

"It's okay." She replied quickly. Unable to keep the slight bite out of her voice. She had hoped that the fact she was so open with him once or twice would stand her in good stead to help him. But apparently not. She sat up, suddenly becoming very business like. "Do you think you will return to the Bureau?" She asked, curiously.

Reid's lips tightened into a straight line. Now this was the Strauss he had expected. Having been given a non-committal answer to her earlier mention of work, she was testing the ground to see if he needed to be replaced. Reid knew if Rossi had been in the room at that moment, he'd have taken her head off. Sensitivity and tact were not Strauss' strong points and Rossi would have been quick to point that out.

"I..." Reid stuttered for a moment, not sure how to answer. He certainly didn't want Strauss filling his space at the BAU. But equally, the thought of returning to that office, where _he_ had been, where this had all started, was enough to give him a panic attack. He felt his heart fluttering a little in his chest and took a deep breath. "I... I don't know." He mumbled, honestly. "I... um... I can't really... think about that right now." He said carefully, trying his best not to offend her.

Strauss fixed her gaze on him for a short while. It was hard and slightly challenging. The Section Chief side of her was clearly coming out. She was down three agents and a technical analyst. An 'I don't know' answer just didn't seem to cut it somehow.

Reid was sure she was going to force him to make a decision at that moment. He watched her take a deep breath, he tensed slightly in preparation for her orders.

"Well, I will assume you are returning at some point, unless I am told otherwise." She said, gently. "If you do decide not to return, please tell me sooner, rather than later."

Reid raised his eyebrows in surprise. Was that it? Simple as that? He nodded, unsure what to say. Her understanding attitude had caught him off guard. Even though he had taken the time to speak to her on various occasions about her addiction, he still didn't feel _that_ comfortable with her. The first time he had broached the subject of addiction with her, he had been unceremoniously thrown out of her office. The second time, she had approached him in a somewhat sheepish manner. Not long after, she took some time off. During that time, Reid had visited her three times to help her look into various treatments and support groups. She had never questioned why he had such an understanding of addiction. Nor did he feel it necessary, or appropriate, to question why she might be in such a position herself. They seemingly had a mutual, unspoken agreement that it was kept completely impersonal, professional and entirely out of the knowledge of their co-workers.

Although they could never call each other friends, in a way, they had gained a certain level of respect for each other. Reid came to learn that Strauss did actually have a vulnerable side and wasn't always the 'dragon' she portrayed in the office. And Strauss came to understand that the agents working beneath her were actually real people, as ridiculous as that sounded. People like Reid, to her, were unimportant, dispensable. But now, she realised their importance. Reid wasn't just an agent any more. He was human, a caring, thoughtful human being who had taken the time to help someone, who had never been particularly nice to him, to overcome a hard time. And that's what made this whole situation so hard. Comparing the kindness and support he had shown to the abuse and cruelty that had been inflicted upon him made her sick to her stomach. It made her almost wish she'd never come to know the person behind the nameless, faceless being he had been before.

She shook her head, deep in thought. The room was completely silent until a small knock on the door roused them from their thoughts. Rossi poked his head round.

"Everything okay? Is it safe to come in?" He jibed light-heartedly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Strauss stood suddenly.

"Yes. I'm just going." She said quickly.

"So soon?" Rossi said in mock disappointment.

Strauss just ignored him.

"You take care, Dr. Reid. And remember what I said. Sooner, rather than later." She said simply, moving towards the door. She clearly never forgot to assert her position as section chief.

Reid nodded quickly, suddenly feeling under increasing pressure to make a decision he wasn't ready for. He now wished she hadn't come at all.

Strauss moved past Rossi and to the door. "Always a pleasure, David." She said dryly.

"Likewise." He smiled a sickly sweet smile back.

Strauss shot him a look and then left the room, not even glancing back towards Reid in the bed. This only served to make Rossi smile more. She made all the effort to come over and see Reid, to thank him for his support. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. But still, she was too embarrassed to admit it. _Typical Erin. _He thought.

He was still smiling when he went back to the side of Reid's bed and sat down in the chair. Reid stared at him, his face an unreadable mask.

"What?" Rossi asked curiously. The smile dropping from his face somewhat.

"You can't help yourself, can you?" Reid replied shortly.

Rossi appeared slightly offended and confused.

"What?" He asked again, more of an exclamation this time. Reid gave him a look as if to say 'you know what'. Rossi opened his mouth a little in realisation. "Oooh... Erin, you mean?" Reid nodded. "She's a big girl, she can take it."

"Yeah, she also takes a drink. It doesn't mean it's good for her." Reid said curtly.

"I doubt very much that Erin's drinking has anything to do with the way I speak to her." Rossi said, brushing off Reid's concerns. "I think whatever _that_ is, it can't be blamed on other people. She did that to herself." Rossi said casually.

"She's not weak." Reid snapped suddenly.

Rossi raised an eyebrow.

"I never said she was weak, Reid."

"Just because she's found things difficult to cope with and found an outlet for her stress and feelings, doesn't mean she's weak."

"I know that, Reid." Rossi tried to cut in, but Reid was on a rant.

"It might mean she needs some support, yes. But it doesn't mean that she's weak or a pushover. Or someone to be mocked or judged-"

"Yes, Reid." Rossi tried again to no avail.

"She deserves the support of the people she works with, not to be made to feel like an outcast or as if there's something wrong with her."

"Reid!" Rossi cut him dead this time. When he realised he'd got the younger man's attention he continued. "I know that. Erin knows I don't mean half of what I say. Sure, she's a pain in the ass sometimes and she knows it. But it's just how we work. It's how it is. Always has been, always will be. You know that. A drink problem doesn't change a thing... At least not my opinion of her."

"Of course it doesn't." Reid said, disbelievingly.

"It doesn't." Rossi insisted. "Jeez, we all have our vices... mine is ex-wives." He said with a small smile.

Reid studied him for a few moments, wondering whether to believe him. Then he broke into a small smile. Rossi smiled brightly back at him.

They both knew exactly why he was being so defensive. But neither of them were going to broach the subject of drugs just yet. It wasn't the time or the place. Reid had to be allowed time to deal with his feelings before the issue of the drugs was raised.

Rossi sat forward. "Look kid, I've got to make tracks. I don't think I'll see you tomorrow, but I'll be back."

The smile left Reid's face.

"Okay." He said, seemingly disappointed.

"But take care." Rossi said, kindly. "And don't watch too much Star Trek." He joked, gesturing to the pile of DVDs on his side table.

Rossi stood and moved towards the door.

"Rossi?" Reid called unsurely.

"Hmm?" He turned around, his brows raised with curiosity.

"Is Hotch coming tomorrow?" He asked, like a nervous child.

Rossi's lips twitched.

"I'm not sure." He answered honestly.

Reid gave a tight lipped smile, it wasn't genuine, and nodded once.

"Get some rest." Rossi said casually, dodging the subject of Hotch.

For once, Reid listened and rested back into the pillow, allowing the lull of the Vicodin to wash over him.

* * *

><p>It was Reid's third day in hospital and today had been fairly quiet compared to the last two. The medical staff were reducing the frequency of their observations, so he wasn't being disturbed every two minutes. He had actually managed to have a fairly successful sleep the night before, probably due to exhaustion more than anything else. But either way, it made him feel a little more prepared for breakfast this morning. He still didn't eat much. A couple of bites of toast and a large mug of coffee seemed more than sufficient. Although the nurse seemed reluctant to agree.<p>

It was now after lunch time and it was visiting hour. He didn't expect anyone. He knew the team were going back in today. Not necessarily to do work, but at least get back into the 'swing of things'. The BAU was too many staff members down to allow a whole team some time off. Despite his life being put on complete hold, the BAU cogs still kept turning. And people were needed to keep the machine running smoothly.

As much as he felt nasty admitting it, it was nice to have some peace. He was getting a little sick of visitors coming in and looking at him as if he was some sort of abused puppy. He was also sick of the scrutinising looks he was garnering. Everything he was saying and doing was being profiled and it got on his nerves.

He couldn't even take a pain killer without attracting attention. That was a particular bone of contention. He still felt annoyed at Rossi's blatant accusation yesterday. He had no right. The painkillers were purely to numb the pain, which if Reid was honest, _was _improving a little. But what did it matter if they had a relaxing effect? Surely he deserved a small bit of comfort. It wasn't like he was going to become addicted to prescription painkillers. Sure, he'd had one only half an hour ago, but his chest had been aching. And he was due.

A sudden realisation hit him. He couldn't do this. He was becoming dependent and was in complete denial. It had been a long time since he had felt the itch in his veins that came with the insatiable need to take a drug. But the feeling over the last two days had started to return. He was on edge and twitchy until he had a dose. This scared him and also annoyed him. How could he have been so stupid? As if he didn't have enough to be dealing with, without giving himself a drug dependency to overcome.

He looked to his nurse call buzzer and picked it up. His thumb danced over the button. All it would take was a quick word with the staff and the painkillers would be gone. It was so easy. He didn't even have to stop it himself this time, it would be done for him. Easy. He wrestled with the small part of his mind that was telling him that the painkillers were helping, that they weren't doing any harm, just helping him to relax a little. He knew that was wrong, but there was another part of him that knew exactly what he was doing, but still wasn't quite sure it wanted to give up the feeling yet.

His thumb twitched at the button. Then a familiar face rounded the door frame.

JJ and Prentiss entered the room, their faces in tight expressions. They smiled reassuringly as they entered. JJ was carrying a briefcase, Reid glanced down at it instantly. His small smile dropping into a frown, he dropped the buzzer down to his side.

"This isn't a social visit." He said, his voice miserable.

JJ smiled again, this time her expression was sad. This was clearly something she didn't want to do.

"No." She said softly, moving to sit down next to the bed. Prentiss followed suit.

"Back to work today then." Reid said slightly bitterly.

"Well I was hoping to book a cruise, but Hotch wouldn't allow." Prentiss joked dryly, a small grin on her face.

JJ shot her look, finding her timing highly inappropriate. Prentiss quickly wiped the grin off her face, clearing her throat uncomfortably. Her attempt to lighten the mood had achieved the opposite effect.

"We... um... we need to ask you a couple of questions." JJ said carefully.

"Why?" Reid asked irritably.

"Hotch has to submit a report and he needs to know what happened." Prentiss said simply but gently. She wasn't one for dancing around an issue.

"What happened?" Reid laughed a little. "I thought you had a home movie." He said coldly.

Prentiss swallowed, images suddenly invading her mind.

_Reid being knocked out and strapped down to the bed. Jason climbing on top of him. Reid's hands gripping the mattress as he tried to escape. Reid's eyes, staring deep into the camera as he said her name, then breaking down into tears only to be violently knocked off the chair. The look in his eyes as Jason's hand ran down his body._

She shook the thoughts from her head.

"After all of that, Reid." She said calmly, although her heart was pounding.

"Oh." Reid said with sudden realisation. "This is about what happened to them."

JJ nodded.

"Hotch needs to know what happened." She said diplomatically.

"Hotch isn't here." Reid snapped. He couldn't keep the slight bitterness from his voice.

The two women glanced at each other. This was clearly an unresolved issue.

"He's having problems with Jack." JJ said, not really believing the story she had been fed.

Reid nodded thoughtfully. JJ and Prentiss watched his eyes narrow as he considered the situation, then his eyes softened slightly, taking on a sad appearance. His eyes suddenly started to tear up a little and he looked to the briefcase.

"I don't want to do this." His voice sounded so small.

"We're with you all the way, Reid." Prentiss said reassuringly.

Reid started shaking his head.

"No... no. I... I'm not doing this."

"Spe- Reid. You can't keep all of this inside. You need to talk about it."

"I don't need to talk about it." He countered quickly.

"Okay, well then _we_ need you to." Prentiss said, honestly. "The cops have two dead bodies on their hands, Reid. They are looking for answers that Hotch can't give them."

JJ took a deep breath, she wasn't expecting Prentiss to be _that _open about the situation.

"So they are blaming me?" Reid said, his eyes wide. This was all he needed, to be charged with murder.

"No!" JJ corrected him, quickly. "No, not at all, Reid. They know the circumstances. They just need to know what happened." She spoke gently.

"You know how it works." Prentiss said, sounding exasperated with the whole idea, hoping that Reid would understand that she wasn't any happier with this situation than he was.

Reid sat fidgeting for a few moments, his gaze darted nervously around the room. He looked trapped. His mind was racing. So many memories were flooding his mind, he didn't even know where to start. It was all too much.

"I- I can't." Reid said, his heart pounding. He could feel the beginnings of another panic attack. A fluttering sensation began in his chest and his breathing hitched slightly.

"Okay, Reid. Take your time." Prentiss reached to grab his hand but he pulled it away. He didn't want physical contact right now. He didn't want anything. He just wanted to be left alone.

Nausea was suddenly sweeping up through his body as his mind started to unwilling recall the events. He pushed it down, along with the memories and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Displaying a strength that the two women thought impossible at that moment, Reid calmed himself and opened his eyes. They were cold.

"I killed him. That's all you need to know." He said, plainly.

"Killed who, Reid?... Jason?" Prentiss asked, knowing the answer, but asking 'for the record'.

"I stabbed him in the throat..." Reid's eyes took on an almost dream-like appearance. "I stabbed him... I was going to pull the knife out and stab him again... but he moved away from me... I wanted him to suffer... but it was so quick." He furrowed his brows. "He didn't deserve to die that quickly. It was so... anti-climactic. One minute he was there, the next, gone. And I didn't know what to do. I wanted to throw things at him. But I had nothing to throw. He was dead but I wanted to hurt him." Reid shook his head in disgust. "What does that make me?"

"Human." Prentiss said, shaking her head. She didn't want to imagine what she would have done to the man had he still been alive.

"Reid... what happened before? How did you get the knife?" JJ asked softly.

Reid seemed to be sifting through memories in his head. His eyes were a little squinted as they often were when his brain was working overtime. He suddenly closed his eyes and gasped.

"No." He said, the intake of breath making his voice weaker than it should be. "No, I can't." He shook his head, tears filling his eyes. "Please..." His eyes then opened, looking pleadingly at the two women. A tear escaped down his cheek.

JJ's deep blue eyes suddenly filled up too. Seeing her Spence looking so vulnerable broke her heart. What upset her most though, was the sheer embarrassment that was written all over his face. It wasn't just distressing to him, it was completely embarrassing and was making him cringe. And he shouldn't have to feel that way. It wasn't his fault. Whatever memories were inside his head, they were clearly far too traumatic for him to explore at that moment. She leaned forwards.

"It's okay, Spence." She said, without thinking, focusing on his face.

"_It's okay, Spence." Jason pulled up Reid's gown and stroked gently down his chest, feeling the muscles tense beneath his fingers. His hand dropped down to his lower stomach and circled around, teasingly._

_Blindfolded and chained to the bed, Reid couldn't see or stop what Jason was doing. Only feel his hand delicately tracing along his stomach. It made his skin crawl._

_Jason then ran his fingers down Reid's leg and back up again, then down the other. Reid's jaw was clenched. The feeling was like torture. He knew exactly what Jason was doing. He was trying to make him aroused using the tickling sensation. Reid tried to shift his legs to throw Jason's hand off but it stayed put and moved up and down his body, slowly and softly caressing. The more Reid shifted away from the hand, the softer and more fleeting the touches became. The hand explored every inch of Reid's body._

"_Stop it." Reid snapped, becoming irritated by the sensation._

"_Nah-ah-ah." Jason said teasingly, running his fingers up Reid's neck, making him shudder and pull away. Jason knew how much Reid hated to be touched, that just made it all the more enjoyable._

"_Please." Reid asked through clenched teeth._

_The hand left his body suddenly._

"_Oh Spence. You're ruining the atmosphere."_

_Reid then heard what sounded like tape being pulled off a roll. The next second, the tape was pressed to his mouth, effectively silencing his pleas. This was the first time he had been unable to speak around Jason. He was now completely incapacitated. Not even a profile would be any use to him now._

_The room was completely silent. He had no idea where Jason was. He calmed his breathing a little to attempt to hear footsteps, or a breath, anything to tell where his tormentor had gone._

_He stayed still as stone as he listened, to no avail. Then, he felt a feather light touch, gliding it's way up his inner thigh. He tensed. The touch was so gentle, it made his skin itch. Then it lifted again, leaving his thigh. The touch then returned, this time climbing from his inner wrist, up to his elbow, making him squirm._

_Reid began to make little noises of protestation, but they remained unheeded._

_The touch left again and then danced up the bottom of a foot. He jumped at this. _

_Jason kept up these movements for nearly an hour, which to Reid, seemed like forever. He watched the arousal slowly building in Reid's body. _

_Reid felt completely ashamed, but after a while, when Jason's fingers left his body, they left a strange feeling of absence. He knew his body was betraying him. The only thing he could liken the feeling to was that of addiction. The itch in his veins at that moment was over powering. He needed something that he neither wanted or enjoyed, but his body was craving it and that was exactly what Jason wanted. Had Reid not been gagged, he would have been gasping with every single touch by now. Every muscle was tense and there was a warm tingling sensation stirring in his groin. He felt sick._

_Jason lifted his touch away from Reid again and walked casually around the bed, pondering his next move. _

_He leaned over the young man's chest, dug his nails in and scratched harshly, down towards his groin. Reid's back arched at the sudden movement, a whimper sounded in his throat. Jason smiled, letting his fingers dance around Reid's groin. He then traced a finger up Reid's erection. Reid's back arched again and his head started shaking from side to side. He knew it was helpless, but it made him feel slightly better about the situation. Regardless of the signal his body was giving, this was in no way consensual._

"_There's no point saying no, Spence." Jason's voice was slightly hoarse with arousal. He hadn't used it for nearly an hour and the sound of it startled Reid a little. "We both know what filthy thoughts are running through your mind right now... I'm just showing you what you are." His hand grasped around Reid's hardness and started stroking painfully slowly. Reid bucked his hips at the action, then turned bright red with embarrassment. Again his body had betrayed him. "Now, now Spencer. Don't get ahead of yourself."_

_Jason brought his face to Reid's chest and started sucking and biting down on the skin, leaving marks. A deep intake of breath from Reid had Jason smiling. "You really are a dark horse, aren't you?... Steve was right about you... you would have made a great rent-boy."_

_He licked down to Reid's lower regions and found the head of his erection. "Of course... no woman will ever touch you now... not after this. Perhaps a sex toy is the right profession for you." He licked and Reid's body arched once again. He started pulling against his chains, trying to free himself to no avail. _

_Jason put a firm hand on Reid's chest. "Now, now Spence. Don't get carried away. You're giving me mixed messages here." A whimper sounded in Reid's throat, had the tape not been over his mouth it would have been a sob. The blindfold covering his eyes was now soaked with tears. Jason stroked his hand through Reid's hair in a comforting manner, but Reid jerked his head away. He was sick of being touched. _

_Jason ran his finger up Reid's erection again and watched his body shudder. "And you behave like you don't want this. Just face it, Spence. You're made for this. Why else would you be shuddering under my touch?" Reid was shaking his head and pulling at his chains again. _

_Suddenly, Jason wrapped his lips around Reid's hardness and took him deep into his mouth. Reid stilled, every muscle in his body tensed with unwanted pleasure. He arched again, unintentionally thrusting. Jason chuckled a little, removing his lips momentarily. "See?" He said, smiling, knowing what this was doing to his former friend. _

"Reid!" A voice sounded far away.

_Jason kept up his motions, causing Reid's body to shiver. Beads of sweat were running down his body._

"Dr. Reid?"

_He stopped again. "You have no idea how hot you look right now." He whispered, leaning right up to Reid's ear and licking. "You're filthy."_

"What's wrong with him?" A panicked voice cut in.

"I'm gonna be sick." He mumbled as his face paled.

A bowl was quickly placed underneath his chin. Reid promptly vomited. His eyes finally coming back into focus a little.

JJ placed a soothing hand on his back.

"Don't touch me." Reid whispered. She flinched as if she'd been scolded.

Reid's hands were shaking violently and his hair was stuck to his face with sweat.

Prentiss was stood, breathing heavily, at the end of his bed. There had obviously been a lot of panic. Dr. Marston had been called in when Reid wasn't responding to verbal or physical stimuli. They had been trying to rouse him out of his memories for the last ten minutes. Dr. Marston was concerned that if they couldn't bring him round, his mind would simply give up. The last thing Reid needed was to go into a state of catatonia.

"Here." Dr. Marston said to Reid, holding out a glass of water.

Reid's brows furrowed as if his mind was still clouded, then he turned his head in a stupor to look at the glass. He then looked at the arm holding it, then up to the doctor's face as if he was seeing her for the first time.

The doctor reiterated her point. "Have some water, Dr. Reid."

His shaking hand reached out to take the glass and she handed it over. The second she released her grip, it slipped to the floor and smashed.

"Hmm?" Reid hummed slightly, seemingly responding to her earlier words. His body was responding to them but his mind was clearly slowed.

Dr. Marston resisted the urge to curse when the glass dropped to the floor. A habit she often had to put a lid on when she was around patients. She quickly poured a second glass and this time held it to his lips. He didn't argue. He took a couple of sips, his shaking hands trying to take the glass.

"Let me." She said gently. Reid didn't seem to be listening and his hands stayed put, fumbling with the glass but not taking it from her. After a couple more sips, he took a shuddering breath, running a shaking hand through his hair. He was looking more alert now. "Better?" She asked.

He nodded slightly, his face flushing red for what seemed like the millionth time.

JJ stood back, watching her friend. She moved towards Prentiss.

"I told Hotch it was too soon." She said quietly, the anger was evident in her voice.

"He didn't have a choice, JJ." Prentiss said gently. "The local police have been all over him. He had to try."

"Yeah – well next time he can do it himself." JJ snapped back.

"I want a shower." Reid suddenly said in a trembling voice.

Dr. Marston glanced to the two female agents, then back to Reid.

"You can't right now, I'm afraid. We can't let you out of bed for at least another day or two."

"I need a wash." He insisted, almost scratching at his arms.

Prentiss shook her head sadly at JJ. Looking at Reid right now was like looking at a stranger.

Dr. Marston nodded uncomfortably.

"I know... all I can do is offer you a bed bath." She said carefully. "But the nurses would have to do it, I'm afraid."

"No." Reid answered quickly.

"I'm sorry." She said sadly.

Before she realised what she was saying, JJ stepped forward.

"I could help him." Both Reid and Dr. Marston looked at her. "If he wants me to, of course." She added.

Reid appeared unsure – nervous even. This upset JJ, but she understood.

"Well we don't normally allow it." Dr. Marston turned to Reid.

"I wouldn't do any lifting or rolling. I would just help him to have a bit of a wash." JJ could see the longing in Reid's eyes at the thought of feeling slightly cleaner. His fingers seemed to be scratching at his skin as if he had a relentless itch. He then started chewing on his finger nails, a completely uncharacteristic mannerism.

Dr. Marston nodded.

"Well.. I don't see what harm it would do. But it's up to Dr. Reid."

Reid looked up at the doctor, uncertainty flickering in his eyes.

Dr. Marston leaned slightly in to him. "Would you like that?" She said gently.

Reid glanced between the doctor and JJ a few times, weighing up the situation. He could feel Jason's hands tracing all over his body. He had to scrub them away or the sensation was going to drive him insane. He felt filthy and the thought of a wash was making his stomach twist with longing. But he really didn't want to be undressed around another person. Whether it was JJ or not. She would be repulsed by him, he was sure of that. And he didn't know if he could cope with her touching him, the thought made him nauseous. But he needed that wash so badly. And in the end, it was only JJ. He could trust her, couldn't he?

He then looked to Prentiss who was now stood respectfully in the corner of the room. Somehow, the thought of two people being with him wasn't as nerve-racking as one. The last time he'd been in a bed at the hands of one person – no. He wasn't going there.

He turned to the doctor and nodded, swallowing nervously.

"If Emily stays too." He said in a small voice. His stomach was already doing somersaults. He was going to be put in a vulnerable position once again. But he had to. He couldn't stand the sensation from the tiny insects that seemed to be crawling under his flesh.

Prentiss raised her eyebrows in surprise. Not entirely pleased at the prospect. JJ looked a little offended, but tried not to take it too personally. The two women looked to the dark haired woman expectantly. Her mouth opened, unsure of what to say, then she snapped it shut and unconsciously shook her head.

"Sure." She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Okay." Dr. Marston said, moving away from the bed towards the door. "I'll get you a bowl."

"Thanks." JJ replied as the doctor left the room.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Prentiss whispered to JJ, looking at Reid's shaky demeanour.

"No." JJ replied honestly. "But he needs our help."

Prentiss breathed out a nervous breath and made a point of relaxing her body. She'd made her decision and she was going to stick by it. She only hoped it was the right one. She moved towards Reid.

"Okay... you ready?"

Reid bit his lip and nodded. A knock came at the door and Dr. Marston returned with a bowl of water, two aprons, gloves, some wipes and a bar of soap.

"There you go." She said cheerfully to the two female agents. They took the items gratefully. The doctor then glanced around the room. "But if anyone asks, this _never_ happened." She said with a smile and a wink.

The two women smiled back and then made light work of the aprons and gloves. Prentiss grabbed the two towels that had been placed on the chair in his room earlier in the day.

"Okay Reid. Can you sit up for us?" Prentiss asked, moving towards him.

He winced as he tried to comply. He hissed as his ribs ached again, but by using the bars on the side of the bed, he managed to eventually get himself sat upright.

Reid looked unsure as the two women stood either side of the bed.

"We're going to need to unfasten your gown." JJ said carefully. "Can I?" She didn't move until she had absolute permission. He nodded nervously. "You sure?" She asked again, just to be certain.

"Yes." He said quietly, gripping the sides of the bed tightly.

JJ pulled at the ties on the back of Reid's gown and they came apart easily. The cool air against Reid's back made him feel very exposed all of a sudden and he shuddered.

"You okay?" Prentiss asked, her brows furrowing with concern.

"Mm." Reid just hummed his answer. Not confident enough to actually trust his voice to speak.

"Okay Reid, I'm going to pull this down at the front. I'm not going to put it any lower than your stomach. We'll just do your chest and back." JJ explained. Reid nodded a few times, trying to reassure them that he was sure about this. Even though he wasn't.

JJ pushed the gown off his shoulders and down so it was resting in his lap. The bed sheets still covered his legs and more intimate parts.

Prentiss' mouth dropped open slightly at the sight that was before them. Reid's chest was black and blue, there were numerous scratches, that looked awfully like finger nail marks, tracing their way down his chest and stomach. JJ's eyes opened wide and she looked to Prentiss in horror. Reid seemed oblivious to their reactions. He was focused too much on keeping his breathing under control. He didn't care if they were women he had known for years. At that moment, he didn't feel comfortable.

Their eyes followed the track of hickeys from Reid's neck, down his chest where they became more severe, sickeningly, down to his lower stomach. JJ's stomach did a flip. What the hell had Jason been doing to him? He must have been everywhere. No wonder Reid felt so dirty.

Prentiss caught JJ's eyes and motioned to his shoulder, where there were clearly teeth marks. JJ's eyes welled up and her face started to crumple a little. She was so angry. But she took a deep breath, trying to sound cheerful, but her voice shook with unshed tears.

"Okay Reid," she said with a smile, her eyes twinkling with tears. "We'll be as quick as we can."

She reached for a wipe and rubbed it against the soap allowing it to foam up. Reid stared at the cloth as if it was some sort of delicious delicacy.

JJ moved the wipe behind Reid, ready to wash his back. "Okay?" JJ asked again, trying to ignore the teeth marks and multiple bruises on his back.

Reid nodded again and JJ rubbed his back with the cloth. Reid hissed a little at first as the warm cloth ran over some of the bruises but soon relaxed as he felt the water running down his back, cleansing away the filth.

Prentiss held the towel at the bottom of his back and JJ squeezed out the cloth between his shoulder blades, allowing the water to run freely. Reid closed his eyes contentedly. After a good minute of washing, Prentiss lifted the towel and started patting his back.

"No." Reid said quickly. "It's not clean." JJ glanced at Prentiss then back to Reid.

"It is, Reid. I promise you." JJ said, reassuringly.

"No." Reid shook his head. "No, it's not."

Prentiss removed the towel.

"Do you want me to do it again?" JJ asked, re-soaking the wipe, patiently.

Reid nodded eagerly.

Prentiss and JJ exchanged knowing glances and JJ moved to wash Reid's back again. This time, she took two minutes, making sure that no area was left unwashed. She soaked it numerous times, even changing wipes half-way through.

"Okay?" She asked. Prentiss was ready with the towel again.

Reid furrowed his brows and bit his lip. His skin must have been clean, but it didn't feel it. The sensation of little insects crawling underneath his flesh had not subsided. He still felt absolutely filthy.

He shook his head, thoughtfully.

"No?" Prentiss questioned, slightly exasperated.

"It's not clean." Reid said again, almost like a mantra.

"Reid, I can assure you, it is." JJ said, with a slightly nervous laugh.

Reid kept shaking his head.

"It isn't... I can _feel _it. It's not clean."

Prentiss moved in with the towel regardless.

"Well I'm afraid it's the best we can do right now, Reid."

Reid bit his lip as Prentiss dried off his back. The rougher feel of the towel was more comforting. As if it was scrubbing away the filth. He leaned into it a little.

"Okay, I'm going to do your chest now." JJ said.

"I'll do it." Reid said quickly.

"It's okay, you shouldn't get your bandages wet." JJ said, motioning to the bandages protecting his damaged knuckles.

She wet another load of wipes and started washing his chest. This time, Reid tensed hard. JJ was being very careful and gentle, which seemed to only make Reid more uncomfortable.

"Please... let me." Reid said, through a tense jaw.

"I will be done in a second." She reassured him.

Reid suddenly grabbed JJ's hand, stopping her movements. She looked at him questioningly but he wasn't looking at her. He was fully focused on the cloth and his body. He was examining his skin as if he could see something they couldn't.

All of a sudden, Reid snatched the wipe from her hand and started scrubbing at his skin. A lot harder than JJ would have dared to.

"Reid! What are you doing?" JJ tried to grab the cloth back but he pulled it away, taking it to his arm and scrubbing another spot, making the skin red.

"Reid, stop it." Prentiss said, gently.

Both women were reluctant to touch him, he was really on edge and looked as though he could snap at any moment. So they both clearly thought talking should be their first option.

"Reid. Please give me the wipes. You're going to hurt yourself." JJ said carefully.

Reid just ignored her, dipping his hand into the water, oblivious to his bandages. JJ resisted the urge to snatch the wipes out of his hand. Reid took the soaking wet cloth and started rubbing at his face, then down onto his neck. The friction from his motions caused his neck to turn bright red, but there was obviously something he could feel that they couldn't. Judging by the appearance of his neck, Jason clearly spent a lot of time there. Reid was seemingly trying to scrub him away. But in reality, all he was actually doing was scrubbing away layers of skin.

"Reid, come on now, that's enough." Prentiss said, reaching for the wipes. Reid snatched his hand away, irritation flashing in his features.

"No." He snapped moodily.

"Reid. Give Emily the wipes." JJ said sternly, like a teacher talking to a child.

Reid just continued on regardless, now scrubbing at his stomach, rubbing angrily at the hickeys marring his body.

Prentiss and JJ looked to each other in a fluster, then they nodded to each other, seemingly coming to the same decision. They both suddenly lunged for Reid. Prentiss putting an arm across his collar bones and pushing him backwards into the pillow behind and JJ grabbed his arm straightening it and fighting with the hand clasping the wipe.

He let out a pained yelp and struggled to maintain his hold on the wipes, to no avail. JJ got him to release his grip and quickly snatched back the wipes. The second she had done so, they both stepped back instantly. They were all breathing heavily and Reid hit at the cot sides of the bed in frustration, letting out a low growl. He then flinched as the action sent a shooting pain through his knuckles.

Reid breathed in and out, huffing as he did so, until he regained his breath. He refused to look at the two female agents. He was like a moody child.

"Here, let me dry you." Prentiss said gently. Moving to softly pat Reid with the towel. JJ looked on, tensely, sure that Reid was going to try to take the towel. But he didn't. He just sat completely still.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Tell that to your skin." Prentiss said with a dry smile. Reid did a small lopsided smile, appearing to be very embarrassed about the situation.

"I think we'd better leave the rest of the wash." JJ said kindly.

Reid's head snapped up quickly, he seemed as though he was going to protest. But then he gave a small nod.

"Okay. Yeah." He sounded unsure. JJ understood. Of course he didn't want to leave it. He wanted to scrub away all traces of Jason. But that wasn't realistic.

"Come on, let's get this back on." Prentiss said, reaching for the gown. Reid jumped a little at her movement but allowed her to pull it back onto his arms and over his shoulders. JJ made quick work of the ties then moved to dispose of the water down the sink in the corner.

Reid watched the water pouring into the sink. The disappointment on his face was clear. His hands were still shaking violently, his nerves were shot.

Reid's gaze was still fixed on the sink. Prentiss looked between Reid to JJ and back again.

"Reid?" She asked, curiously. He didn't answer.

JJ turned and then moved to wave a hand in front of Reid's eyes. No response.

"Emily. Get the doctor." JJ said suddenly, trying to keep calm. Reid couldn't go through another flashback.

Prentiss nodded and left the room right away.

JJ poked Reid gently in the shoulder. "Reid?" She tried again. "Reid?"

Reid's whole body was shaking now. If JJ hadn't known better, she'd have thought he was having some sort of fit. But she knew, that it was, once again, Reid's memories taking over his powerful mind. She felt helpless, there was nothing she could do to stop this. Until Reid started coming to terms with what had happened to him, the flashbacks were going to control his body and mind whenever his brain saw fit.

"Don't panic." Dr. Marston was saying as she re-entered the room. "It's not uncommon for people to experience flashbacks in such quick succession. It's like panic attacks. It can take hours for someone to recover." This time a nurse was following the doctor. Prentiss trailed behind.

"Dr. Reid?" The nurse asked gently. He didn't respond. His gaze was still fixed on the sink. "Dr. Reid?" She tried asking louder this time. The nurse went to touch his shoulder.

"Don't touch him." Dr. Marston said quickly. "I'm going to give him a Benzo."

"You're going to sedate him?" JJ asked, in angry shock.

"If I don't, he could be going in and out of flashbacks for hours. They are exhausting. He's not eating much as it is, which isn't helping. He can't afford to be using this much energy. He is here to heal."

"But isn't there something else you can do?" JJ sounded desperate. She didn't like the idea of sedation. It was just another loss of control for her friend.

"JJ, let them do their job." Prentiss said, calmly.

"My main priority is keeping Dr. Reid stable medically. The psychologist will explore the cause of his flashbacks, something I am not qualified to do. But right now, what he needs is some rest and a Benzo will give that to him."

JJ reluctantly nodded, moving away from the bedside to the corner of the room. She shook her head sadly. Prentiss moved to join her.

Dr. Marston swiftly left the room to get the medication.

A small whimper sounded in Reid's throat. JJ stared at him, her eyes hardening with thoughts of Jason.

"That isn't Reid." She said coldly. "I don't know who that is, but it's not Reid."

Prentiss shot a scrutinising gaze her way.

"Reid is strong... He'll get through this." Prentiss said.

"But for him to be like that." JJ nodded her head to the bed. "What the hell did he do to him?"

Prentiss furrowed her brows. She couldn't answer that. They knew what had been done to him. Well, at least the first time. She didn't think Reid was unjustified being as distressed as he was.

Dr. Marston soon returned to the room and moved straight to the bed to give Reid the injection. She injected the drug into his arm with ease. Within a minute, Reid's eyes started blinking slowly as if his eyelids were heavy.

The doctor stood watch over him, until the shaking subsided and he looked just about ready to drop off to sleep.

She placed a hand on each shoulder and pushed him back onto the pillow behind.

"Come on, Dr. Reid." He flopped back onto the pillow and his eyes closed peacefully. It was the calmest she'd seen him since he arrived.

She turned to look at the two agents in the corner. JJ now had tears running down her face.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Marston asked kindly.

"That's not Spence." She whispered in sad shock.

Dr. Marston nodded in understanding.

"Follow me." She said to the two ladies, leaving the nurse to see to Reid's pillows and covers.

She walked directly across the hall and into an office. Prentiss and JJ followed obediently.

"I need to talk to you about Dr. Reid's discharge." Dr. Marston said calmly.

The two agents nodded nervously. "He is yet to have his assessment with the Psychologist, but I'm expecting when he does he is going to be diagnosed with severe PTSD. The flashbacks and panic attacks are clear indicators and it's going to take a long time for him to overcome them."

JJ furrowed her brows and Emily nodded sadly.

"He is going to need someone to stay with him whilst he deals with these problems."

"We have already discussed this." Prentiss said confidently. It was still undecided where he was going to go, but most of them had expressed interest in taking Reid in for a few weeks.

"No. I don't think you understand." Dr. Marston chipped in. "He is going to need someone to stay with him, _full-time. _He is not in a position to be able to care for himself, right now. Whoever he stays with is going to have to be patient, understanding and most importantly be available 24/7. At least for a couple of weeks."

Dr. Marston could tell by the expressions on their faces that they hadn't considered this.

The BAU was down four workers, they were going to be strained as it was. Losing someone else so they could look after Reid seemed impossible. Strauss would never agree to it.

The doctor frowned a little. "Does he not have any family he could stay with? I noticed that Agent Hotchner is listed as next of kin. But does he have any family?"

Prentiss and JJ exchanged uneasy glances.

"No." Prentiss said. "None that are capable of looking after him." The depression she felt right now was expressed in her voice. "How long do you think he will need full-time care?"

"It's difficult to say." Dr. Marston answered honestly. "His mobility issues shouldn't be a problem for very long, perhaps a few days. But my main concern is the panic attacks and flashbacks. He needs someone with him to monitor these. At least until they become less intense and that could take any length of time. It really depends on whether he deals with his experiences."

That did not sound hopeful. They knew how notorious Reid was for dodging issues.

"What happens if no one can take the time off work?" Prentiss asked.

"We'll find someone." JJ snapped. "I'll have him, I'll take some leave."

"But JJ, you have Henry. That's not going to be good for him, seeing Reid like that."

"Is Henry your son?" Dr. Marston asked.

"Yes." JJ nodded.

"Well I'm inclined to agree with Agent Prentiss here, I'm afraid. I don't think it would be a good idea to have Dr. Reid around children right now. Children are naturally inquisitive and he won't understand what is going on. It could ultimately make things worse and distress him - both of them."

"So what do we do?" Prentiss asked again.

"Well, that really depends on Dr. Reid's circumstances. The obvious, and less favourable option, is to have admitted to a Psychiatric centre." JJ gasped. "_Not_ for long-term care, just until his mind is stabilising."

"We can't do that to him." JJ stated, categorically.

"Okay, well the other alternative really depends on his financial situation. It might be possible to pay for a live-in carer to come in and look after him. But it is very expensive and might exacerbate his anxiety as it's someone he doesn't know and he might feel quite vulnerable."

"So that doesn't leave us many options at all then." JJ said angrily.

Dr. Marston smiled sympathetically.

"Look, you don't have to make any drastic decisions today. Go back and talk to your team, discuss the options and see what you can work out. It's early days right now, we might see an improvement over the next couple of days, particularly if he allows the Psychologist to talk to him."

"What? And he might make a miraculous recovery?" JJ said sarcastically.

"No. But an improvement is not impossible." She looked JJ right in the eye. "Your friend is still in there, Agent Jareau. But he's been through a terrible trauma and his mind doesn't know how to cope. In situations like this, everything shuts down, including personality. His brain is in shock. It's very possible that over the next few days, the shock will clear and you will start to see a glimpse of the Dr. Reid you know. Just give it time."

"And what if we don't?"

"You will." Dr. Marston said confidently. "Go back and talk to your team. It's amazing what people can come up with when you all put your minds to it." She said kindly.

"Come on JJ." Prentiss put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "Let's go."

"I just need to get my briefcase."

JJ left the room as Prentiss mouthed a 'thanks' to the doctor. It wasn't like JJ to leave out the pleasantries, but she was so distressed by Reid and his behaviour, Prentiss wasn't sure whether she could even think straight.

Prentiss followed her across into Reid's room to find her stood next to the bed, leaning over Reid. He looked so peaceful. It was nice to see. He was lay on his back, his eyes gently closed. His chest rising and falling softly. His hair had been swept back out of his face. The only things wrong with the picture were the IVs and the numerous bruises, stitches and bandages covering his hands, face and neck.

Prentiss felt her eyes welling up, then stepped out of the room. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the thought of Reid never being the same didn't only worry JJ. It terrified her too. She just wished they could rewind the clock to a week ago, when everything was so different. She wiped a tear away that was running down her cheek. She heard JJ softly whispering to Reid, she looked back in to see her gently kissing his forehead and stroking his cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow." JJ said, picking up her briefcase and leaving the room. The tears running freely down her face.


	24. Chapter 24

**Now this had been an uber-long wait and once again, I can only apologise. I have gotten into the habit of writing ridiculously long chapters and as a result I will not post anything shorter than around 35 pages. Hence the long wait, as I don't always have that much time in my life to write. So I have made the decision that I am going to cut my chapters in half to allow more regular updates from now on. **

**I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Just want to say also, there is a particular story that is a fave of mine that has recently had a similar plot development with Reid and Hotch as shown in this chapter. When I read theirs, I thought 'oh no!' But I had written a fair bit of the exchange before posting the last chapter (god knows why this chapter has taken so long!) But anyway, please enjoy this chapter and apologies for the wait, again. Please keep reviewing! Thank you to all the AMAZING reviewers so far :)**

Morgan entered the BAU bull pen. It was his first day back at work and lunch hour had just finished. He looked exhausted. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and his face seemed drawn and tired. He had hardly slept the previous night. It appeared bad dreams were contagious.

It had been a slow day so far. Very little work had been thrown their way. They were all more than aware that they were there to 'settle in', rather than actually work. Morgan headed straight for the coffee machine, despite the fact he'd just had two in the local café. Uncharacteristically he had opted to have his lunch away from the office for a change.

He opened the cupboard and reached in for his mug. It had been a gift from Garcia. He'd cringed when he'd seen the colour. Bright pink. But the fact that it had 'CHOCOLATE ADONIS' scrawled on it and a hand-drawn stick figure of him drawn by none other than the lady herself, automatically made him love it. But even looking at his favoured mug couldn't make him smile today. Pushing the mug to the side, he pulled out a plain white one. Somehow a cheerful, pink mug didn't seem befitting.

He filled up the lifeless mug and turned, leaning against the counter. He surveyed the office. It seemed so strange to see the BAU so alive. It felt wrong. How could it be that things could just go on as normal, when Reid was stuck in hospital? His life permanently scarred. Morgan felt like he was in a bubble of grief. Things weren't the same, but the wheels kept turning as if nothing had ever happened. He wasn't resentful of it. But looking at it seemed so strange.

He stood for a long while, just staring at the office until Rossi entered his eye line. He too, filled up a plain coffee mug and leaned next to Morgan against the counter.

They stood together in silence for a good minute.

"Doesn't seem right, does it?" Rossi mused quietly.

Morgan raised his eyebrows as if to question what he meant. "Everything's changed. Nothing's changed." Rossi answered simply, gazing around the bull pen.

"Hmm..." Morgan agreed.

"When JJ and Prentiss come back from the hospital, Strauss wants to see us all in the conference room." Rossi said, patting Morgan on the shoulder.

Morgan furrowed his brows.

"Why?"

Rossi shrugged, non-committally.

"There's a lot to sort out." He moved away from Morgan before he could reply. Heading across the bull pen, he took refuge in his office. Morgan sighed. He wanted to be at the hospital with Reid. Not sitting in the conference room with Strauss. Running a hand down his face, he sighed again. Placing his mug into the sink he then pushed away from the counter. He walked aimlessly around the bullpen, seemingly looking for something to fill his time.

He couldn't help but notice the occasional glance that was thrown his way by other agents. It was clear that they were all concerned. Probably desperate to ask about Reid. The petulant side of Morgan told him that it was because they were nosey and just wanted some good gossip. But his rational mind knew that it was genuine concern. Reid, whilst not always the most forthcoming member of the team, was part of the fixtures and fittings. He was well-respected and was often a consult for other teams when they were struggling with patterns and geographical profiles. At some point, every team in the office would have come into contact with him.

But it didn't stop Morgan being highly irritated by the seemingly casual glances.

For some reason, he found himself moving to Reid's desk. He stood staring down at the numerous papers and files that were strewn across the surface and the pen resting on top. He shook his head, remembering sitting there only a few days before thinking that he would probably never see him again. He hadn't dared to dream that there was a chance that Reid might still be alive after that video.

He thought he might find comfort in the fact that Reid's belongings still had an owner. But he didn't. As he stared down at the papers, it reminded him of the all of the deserted houses he'd seen during his time working in law enforcement. The houses where people had cooked dinner or started decorating and had suddenly been pulled out of their lives. He reminded himself that most of the time, those people didn't return. Statistically, Reid had been one of the fortunate ones. But seeing Reid's handwriting scrawled all over papers he would never finish made the idea of life seem so strange somehow. What had been the point?

Morgan found himself sitting down in Reid's chair, much like he had done before. Perhaps if these seemingly important tasks could have been put aside once in a while, Reid could have just made the most of being alive. Something he probably wouldn't do now for a long time. Morgan furrowed his brows. _No one really knows what's around the corner._

He mused over the papers a little longer, glancing over Reid's notes about a case he had been consulting on. There were notes written everywhere. Some seemed to be questions to himself, others were definite decisions about the unsub's behaviour and M.O. Some notes Morgan couldn't even read. Even his written language seemed to be a complex arrangement of letters and numbers in need of deciphering. Which, he figured, was probably the point.

His gaze was then drawn to Reid's coffee mug, stashed next to his 'in' tray. It was another Garcia special. His was maroon coloured. Despite Garcia's confidence that the ever-so-masculine Morgan would accept a pink mug, she couldn't quite muster up the same courage for the ever sensible Dr. Reid. Although she had managed to embarrass him completely by writing 'NAUGHTY BOY' in huge letters. The stick man showed Reid on crutches with a tag around his neck saying 'Garcia's b*tch'. Morgan smiled as he thought back to Garcia presenting his younger colleague with the mug, shortly after he'd been shot. His eyes had nearly popped out of his head.

"_I'm not drinking from that!" He said in a slightly squeaky voice._

"_You have mortally wounded me, Reid." Garcia said, with feigned hurt._

"_Hey, pretty boy, if I can drink from this..." Morgan trailed off, holding up his bright pink mug ._

"_Now you just be grateful that I didn't have one of your photo-shopped pictures printed onto that mug instead, hot stuff." She smiled, winking at Morgan._

_Morgan raised an eyebrow._

"_Photo-shopped?"_

"_Oh yes, baby. Photo-shopped." She said with extra emphasis._

_Prentiss then held up her red mug, presenting her high school photograph to the rest of the group._

"_Yes Morgan, be very grateful." She said dryly._

_Reid was examining his mug like it was some sort of puzzle that needed solving. After a few moments of contemplation, he furrowed his brows and turned to Garcia._

"_I'm out of proportion." He said simply._

"_**That's** what's bothering you?" JJ said, staring in disbelief at the length of the stick man's trousers._

"_My head's too big." He remarked seriously._

"_Well, it's for that big ol' brain of yours." Garcia joked with a little nudge to his shoulder._

"_Actually, there is no conclusive evidence to suggest that the size of a brain directly influences the level of intelligence."_

_They all groaned and rolled their eyes at each other. Reid, still stared at the mug. "In fact, studies have shown that-"_

"_Drinking from a mug designed by yours truly, brightens up your day!" Garcia interrupted cheerfully._

"_I wouldn't be so sure." Prentiss remarked solemnly, staring at her mug._

_Reid glanced around the table at the various mug designs then furrowed his brows again._

"_Where's yours?" He asked Garcia._

"_I can't design a mug for myself, sweetie." She said with feigned horror. "Besides, have you seen my drawings? My stick-woman would not be flattering."_

"_No, you couldn't inflict that upon yourself." Rossi quipped, from the corner of the room. He moved to put his mug on the table pointedly. _

_They all leaned in to examine the older man's drawing and burst out laughing. _

"_God Garcia, what is **that?**" JJ asked through her laughter._

"_It's Rossi." She said, pouting._

"_Yeah, deformed after a horrific accident perhaps." Prentiss corrected._

"_Okay, okay, facial hair is not my speciality." She said with a smile._

"_Or legs." Morgan added, looking at the strange gait Rossi's stick man seemed to possess._

"_Or heads." Reid added, looking most concerned by his stick-man._

_The look on his face sent them into a fit of laughter. Reid glanced around the room, looking utterly confused as to what they found so funny. Then he looked back to his mug again and squinted his eyes. After a few moments, he looked to Garcia in horror. "You- You **tagged** me!" He exclaimed, finally noticing the label around his neck reading 'Garcia's b*tch'._

_They all smirked at each other._

"_How long have you been looking at that mug for, kid?" Morgan nudged him. _

"_I have to claim my property." Garcia shrugged her shoulders. _

_Reid's mouth dropped open a little at the remark. "It's only 'cause I love you." She added, pinching at his cheek a little. He pulled away quickly, but a small smile graced his lips. Morgan found himself watching the young man looking down at the mug with a fond smile. _

Despite Reid's initial horror, he became very protective of his mug. Morgan spotted him fishing it out of the dishwasher on numerous occasions, opting to carefully hand wash it instead. Morgan picked up the mug, a sad smile gracing his lips. It was saddening that such a small gesture should mean so much to him. Not that it didn't to Morgan, but the mug almost seemed like it was a symbol of Reid's place on the team. A symbol that he was cared about and more likely, that he was loved.

Morgan found his mind wandering to the numerous phone calls he'd received after he'd been presented with his precious mug. Usually late at night, full of apologies, Reid would call asking Morgan cryptic questions like Garcia's favourite colour and words to describe her. Three days after the presentation, Reid had sheepishly approached him at work with three hand drawn pictures of Garcia, asking him which one he thought represented her best. As always, Reid's analysis of the pictures was complicated at it's simplest, so Morgan, naturally, chose the most attractive.

Within another three days, Garcia was presented with her own mug. And Reid, in his shy, unassuming way had decided to leave it on her desk, full of piping hot cocoa with cream and marshmallows.

Morgan would never forget the look on Reid's face when Garcia ran through into the bull pen and gave him a big kiss. At first he had gone bright red and shifted uncomfortably, but then broke into a large smile when she told him she absolutely loved it and would drink out of it everyday. The large smile was then replaced with a smaller one, which remained with him for most of the day.

Morgan's heart warmed as he thought of the nearly child-like smile Reid had displayed. It had almost made him want to go over and hug the kid himself.

Suddenly, Morgan felt a hand on his shoulder causing him to jump slightly.

"Woah, easy." Prentiss said calmly. "I called your name three times." She said, concern laced through her voice.

Morgan shook the thoughts away.

"Sorry, was just thinking."

Prentiss reached around and took the mug out of Morgan's hand. A small smile graced her lips as she examined it.

"It looks as good as the day he got it." She said softly.

Morgan became very uncomfortable and grabbed the mug back, putting it back onto Reid's desk. He suddenly felt very protective over the item.

Prentiss raised her brows at him, trying her best not to be offended. Morgan took a deep breath then swung around in the chair to face his colleague.

"How is he?"

The slight smile that had been in Prentiss' eyes suddenly left and she paused for a moment, wondering how honest she should be.

"Not good." She said sadly.

Morgan dropped his gaze for a few moments, disappointed. His attention was suddenly drawn to JJ, who rushed into the bull pen and past the pair. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She looked distressed.

Morgan's eyes opened wide in concern.

"What's happened?" He asked quickly, standing up out of Reid's chair. "JJ?" Morgan called after her, only to be stopped by Prentiss' arm on his elbow.

"Leave her." Prentiss said gently.

"No, if some thing's happened then I wanna know about it." Morgan snapped, still staring after JJ.

Prentiss put another hand to his other arm and turned Morgan towards her.

"Derek... look at me." She spoke firmly.

Morgan blinked a couple of times, then reluctantly redirected his gaze to Prentiss. She rubbed his arm comfortingly. "There's just a couple of things that need to be discussed. Between us all. It's just upset her, that's all."

Morgan started to look agitated.

"Things? What things?"

"Prentiss, Morgan." Rossi cut in. "Conference room... you ready?" He asked, noting their body language.

"Come on." Prentiss said encouragingly.

They made their way across the bull pen and into the conference room. Garcia was already sat there, nervously tapping on the table with her pen. She wasn't wearing any of her usual bright colours, opting for darker shades of brown and black. Her hair was uncharacteristically tied back and she wore barely any make-up.

She looked up at her colleagues, looking slightly scared.

"What is this about?" She asked tentatively.

Prentiss just shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, moving to sit next to Garcia. She squeezed her hand comfortingly. "Oh I hate these meetings." Garcia moaned like a small child. "Nothing good ever comes from them."

Both Morgan and Rossi glanced at each other. Neither one confident enough to reassure her. They had no idea why they were there themselves.

JJ then entered the office. She kept her head down and went straight for the chair in front of her. The team watched as she self-consciously wiped at her eye.

"You okay?" Prentiss asked knowingly.

"Yeah." JJ answered, her voice cracking slightly. After taking a deep breath, she lifted her gaze to the team, feeling incredibly embarrassed about her puffy eyes. "What's going on?" She asked softly.

"We don't know." Garcia whined. "I wish someone would tell us something!"

"Hotch will be here in a minute." Rossi said simply.

At this, they all went silent. They had barely heard anything from Hotch since Reid was taken into the hospital. JJ and Prentiss had seen him briefly in the morning, purely so he could order them to ask Reid some questions. But aside from that, he had mostly flown under the radar. His office blinds had been closed all day and they'd only seen him emerge once to get some coffee. There was something about his demeanour that made him seem unapproachable at the moment.

But as Hotch was getting more and more introverted, Morgan was getting angrier. He was more than aware of the fact that his boss hadn't been in to see Reid as yet. And it was irritating him. A lot. It wasn't the fact that he couldn't. If Morgan knew that to be true, he wouldn't bat an eyelid. Hotch had a lot of responsibilities and out of all of them, he would probably struggle the most with getting to the hospital regularly. But it was the reluctance he sensed whenever he saw him. He was avoiding the issue. And in Morgan's opinion, he had no right.

Morgan looked around the room at the thoughtful faces of his colleagues. They all seemed to be lost in their own worlds. This was the first time they had all been in each other's company since they had found Reid. It was clearly bringing back bad memories.

"Every thing's so messed up." Garcia said suddenly, shaking her head. "How can things change so quickly?... I just... I don't..." She trailed off, her mouth dropping open as she tried to conjure a word to describe how she was feeling.

"I know, baby girl." Morgan said softly. "But we've gotta stay strong. We can't let him win."

"Hasn't he already?" JJ said suddenly. "Look at us... we're a mess."

"JJ, come on." Prentiss tried to reason with her.

"No, Emily!" She snapped. "He has no idea how much he has taken from us! And he's not even here now to pay for it. How is that fair? Reid's sat in a hospital bed, suffering, while he rests in peace. No, Garcia's right. It is messed up."

Prentiss dropped her gaze and shook her head. She couldn't really argue with that.

"Am I the only person who's glad he's dead?" Rossi said casually.

"He should be paying for what he's done." JJ said simply.

"If he was, then Reid certainly wouldn't still be with us." Rossi replied. "So I'll take that gladly."

JJ stared at him for a few moments, seemingly unable to speak. She let out a long breath and dropped her head into her hand.

"I know... I know." She sighed. "I'm just so angry."

"Join the club." Rossi said dryly. The room fell into silence as they all retreated to their own thoughts. Rossi was staring at the centre of the table when he next spoke, his brows furrowed and his face contorted with disgust. "You know... I don't think I'll get the image of Reid hiding under that bed out of my head for as long as I live."

They all looked at him, surprised by his honesty and his apparent delicacy. They weren't used to seeing the older man so emotionally affected. Rossi continued, shaking his head as his features softened. "His face... God, he just looked so scared and... lost." The room once again fell to silence.

Rossi stared at the table, his gaze sad and sympathetic. Then he took a deep breath and stood from his chair. "Excuse me." He mumbled, leaving the room.

The team all looked up, their eyes following his passage out of the room with mild surprise. Once he'd left, they turned to look at each other.

"Well that's something I never thought I'd see." Said Prentiss, coolly.

"I'll go talk to him." Morgan said, standing.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Prentiss asked, raising an eyebrow.

Morgan froze in contemplation. Rossi wasn't really the sort of person to discuss his feelings. Hence why he had left the room. He didn't share his emotions. If Rossi had left the room, then it meant he wanted to be left alone. And Rossi wasn't the sort of person you could ignore like that. Whatever his wishes, you had to respect them.

Sighing, Morgan dropped down dramatically into his seat.

"You're right." He sighed again, dropping his head onto his hand. He just wanted to do _something. _ The room once again descended into silence. Morgan's fingers tapping impatiently on the table was the only sound. After a good minute of silence, Morgan sat back in his chair, snapping the rest of the team out of their thoughts. "Where the _hell_ is Hotch?" He said, angrily.

"He'll be here." Prentiss said confidently.

She was starting to irritate Morgan. Her ability to 'compartmentalise' was just too damn good.

"Yeah, well five more minutes and I won't be."

Suddenly the door to the room opened and Strauss walked in, followed by Hotch.

"Good afternoon." She said, seriously.

None of them made an effort to greet her. They simply nodded at her presence. This didn't surprise her.

Although, she surprised them. She motioned for Hotch to sit down at the table, then uncharacteristically followed suit, joining them on the same level for once. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I've asked you to come in here today." She then glanced around the room, furrowing her brows. "Where's David?" She asked, looking to Hotch as if he had the answer to everything.

"I'm here." He said strongly, entering the room again. Strauss was now sat in his chair. He rolled his eyes and moved round to the other side of the table to sit down.

"Oh... good." She said, honestly. "Right, well as you know, this last week has been... difficult, to say the least."

"You can say that again." Rossi muttered.

Strauss continued on.

"And as a result, there are a few issues we need to sort out." She said, eyeing the team carefully. She knew they were not going to like this. "Agent Hotchner and I have been discussing ways of keeping the unit running effectively. As you know, we've lost three agents and a technical analyst in the space of a week which means that one team is missing three members. Whilst your team can still remain fully functional, the other cannot. Agent Pearson, whilst he is an experienced profiler, cannot be expected to run cases by himself. Agent Newton is too new to the BAU to be his only support. We will be recruiting new agents, but this is going to take time and in the meantime we cannot be turning away cases-"

"Oh, come on, Erin! Get to the point!" Rossi said, frustrated. The woman was really grating on him. He knew exactly where this was going.

She sat up straight, her eyes flashing with anger. But she didn't snap back.

"We are going to have to move some of you over to the other team." She said simply.

"What?" Morgan said suddenly.

"No!" JJ cried. "You can't!"

"It's already done." Hotch said stoically. The team looked at him in despair. This was the worst possible time for them to be pulled apart. And whilst they understood the reasons, it didn't make it any easier.

"I'm sorry." Strauss said, genuinely.

Hotch sat forward, leaning his hands on the table in front of him.

"Morgan, you will lead Lewis' team until a new lead agent is found and Emily, you will be going with him." He said simply, his tone was absolute.

Morgan furrowed his brows.

"But what if I don't want to lead another team, Hotch?" He asked like a petulant child.

"There's nothing I can do, Morgan. I'm sorry. We need you." He looked to Emily, who hadn't said a word since this discussion began. She seemed to simply accept whatever was thrown her way. "Both of you." Hotch nodded to Emily, who just nodded back in understanding. After all, it wasn't a permanent move.

"And... what about me?" Garcia said, nervously.

"You will be acting Technical Analyst for both teams. I know it's a lot of work and your pay will reflect that." Hotch nodded as if that was the end of it.

"For both teams?" Garcia's mouth dropped open. "Sir, I'm really not-"

"It is only until we can find a replacement for Mr. Turner." Strauss said, calmly.

Garcia looked like a floundering fish for a few moments, her mouth flapped open as if she was trying to say something, but nothing came out. Then she snapped her mouth shut in acceptance, realising that everyone had to do their part. And in the end, had she been more aware, none of this would have even happened.

"I know this news is hard to take and honestly, if there was _any_ other way of keeping the unit running then we would do it. But we've not had a disaster like this since the Bale case. And I know you understand that, because some of you were here then. It's how your team was formed. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do, for the greater good."

"So these teams will be functioning from tomorrow. I will be heading up this team with Rossi and JJ. And Morgan will be leading Lewis' team, with Prentiss, Pearson and Newton".

Morgan dropped his head into his hands, deeply unhappy.

"Agent Morgan, your team will start receiving cases from tomorrow morning and Agent Hotchner's team, you will be working with sex crimes for the next few weeks to see if you can crack this sex ring."

"What?" Morgan snapped. "Why the hell do they get to do that?"

"Because that's how it is, Agent Morgan." Strauss said simply.

"Ma'am?" Prentiss suddenly spoke. "Whilst everyone is here, there's something else we need to discuss." She exchanged a quick glance with JJ.

Strauss furrowed her brows but looked as though she was listening intently.

Prentiss took a deep breath then began. "This afternoon when we went to the hospital to see Reid, the doctor took us to one side." She looked to JJ again who just dropped her gaze to the table, sadly. Suddenly the team looked increasingly worried.

"Oh God, what's happened?" Morgan asked.

"Well, to get to the point, Reid is going to need 24 hour care, for at least a couple of weeks when he leaves hospital. And if one of us can't provide it, he will be admitted to a psychiatric unit for his own safety."

"What?" Rossi said in shock.

"Fuck." Morgan swore under his breath, head in his hands once again.

"They can't just put him in a psychiatric unit. He's not mentally ill." Rossi said, his voice laced with concern.

"No, he's not. But his flashbacks are severe enough to make it dangerous for him to live by himself. At least at the moment. He's also having panic attacks and they are worried that if he is left by himself, then something could go wrong."

"He can stay with me." Morgan said categorically.

"No he cannot." Strauss replied, equally strongly.

"I'll take unpaid leave."

"Agent Morgan, you do realise that you are now leading a team?... You cannot just take unpaid leave whenever it suits!"

"Well you're going to have to do something about it." Morgan stated. "Because there is no way in hell that I'm leaving Reid in a psychiatric unit. It's his worst fear. And after everything that bastard has put him through, I'm not gonna let that happen to him."

"Agent Morgan-"

"No! I'm sorry, but no way." Morgan stood up.

"This is not your decision to make Agent." Strauss also stood, making her point, angrily.

"I'll quit if I have to." He said categorically.

Strauss' mouth dropped open. There was nothing she could say to that. The Bureau simply couldn't afford to lose another agent.

"It won't come to that." Rossi said simply, then looked to Strauss. "Will it." It wasn't a question.

Strauss floundered.

"This is above my head." She said, shrugging her shoulders in defeat. "I simply can't authorise leave when the teams are in such a mess."

"Well don't authorise it." Rossi said. "Morgan could take unpaid sick leave for two weeks." He made it sound so simple.

"But that doesn't solve the issue of the teams." Strauss said weakly, looking to Hotch for support. He had been uncharacteristically quiet during this exchange. And she wasn't getting anything from him now. Hotch barely seemed present. This hadn't gone unnoticed by the team.

Rossi rubbed a hand down his face, sighing.

"Then I'll lead the other team."

Morgan looked at him, surprised.

"Seriously?... You would do that?" He sounded concerned. They all knew how much Rossi hated the politics of it all and how little he wanted to be in a position of power. He really didn't need the stress of it at his age.

"Yes. I would." He sounded reluctant, but it was more for dramatic effect that anything.

Rossi looked across the table to see Hotch staring at him, brows furrowed.

"Dave, are you sure about this?" Hotch remembered how reluctant he had been to take care of his own team, never mind a different one.

"Yes." He snapped slightly, wanting to confirm his decision before he was tempted to change his mind. "Besides, it'll only be for a few weeks."

"But it still doesn't solve the problem of us being _another_ agent down. Aaron, your team would consist of you and Agent Jareau. I don't think we could consider that a fully functioning team." Strauss smiled a little.

"Well let them have Emily back." Rossi shrugged. "Agent Pearson is an experienced profiler. We would work well together. And we would still have Agent Newton."

Strauss shook her head, giving up.

"I'm not happy about this."

"You don't have to be." Rossi said, the team looked at him in surprise. He was being particularly forceful today. "It's the right thing to do and you know it."

Strauss took in a deep breath and then sighed.

"Let's just hope the director sees it that way." She muttered as she went to leave the room.

"Ma'am." Morgan called after her. She turned before opening the door. "Thank you." He said with a nod.

She stared back at him, then briefly nodded her head. Then she turned, opened the door and left.

Morgan sighed heavily, relief flooding over his features. He dropped into the chair next to Prentiss.

"Well that was a lot easier than I expected." Prentiss said, casually.

"I can't believe she actually agreed to it." JJ said in disbelief.

"Now all we need to do is get Reid to agree to it." Rossi said, ominously.

They all exchanged uneasy glances and Hotch stood and left the room, without saying a word.

* * *

><p>"Hey, kid." Morgan smiled at the door, yet another cup of coffee in his hand.<p>

"Hey." Reid replied, glancing up at him with tired eyes. His gaze was instantly drawn to the coffee. "That for me?" He said in anticipation.

"Yep." Morgan entered the room, passing the coffee to his colleague. "Didn't think I'd forget, did you?" He smirked. Reid simply examined the coffee and then took a sip, not responding. "So, have the doctors spoken to you about discharge yet?" Morgan asked casually.

Reid sighed.

"A little. I think I'm going to be in for a few more days." He said, pulling a face. "They want to make sure I can walk properly before they send me home."

"Hmm..." Morgan nodded in understanding. He took a deep breath. "Have they mentioned your living arrangements?" He took a sip of his coffee, trying to appear nonchalant.

Reid furrowed his brows.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you do know someone has to stay with you, don't you?"

Reid let out an amused breath.

"I know they said that... but I don't think it really matters that much. I'll be fine." He said dismissively.

Morgan raised his head a little and bit his lip thoughtfully, as if he wanted to say something. The move didn't go unnoticed by Reid. "What?" He asked curiously.

"Well JJ and Emily spoke to the doctor the other day..."

Reid looked seriously at Morgan.

"And?"

"Well... she said that, um... someone has to stay with you for a while."

"Yeah, I know, she said. But like I said, I don't think it matters that much." Reid said dismissively, drinking his coffee.

"No, Reid... it really does matter." Morgan shifted uncomfortably.

Reid furrowed his brows, looking a little irritated.

"What do you mean?" He asked shortly.

Morgan cleared his throat, knowing that Reid wasn't going to like losing control of yet another situation.

"The doctor says that you need someone with you twenty-four hours a day. At least for a couple of weeks."

Morgan was completely tense. He watched Reid carefully as he processed the information. Reid seemed confused and shook his head quickly. Then a small smile broke onto his face.

"Very funny." He said with a laugh, looking at Morgan slightly searchingly.

Morgan furrowed his brows, then dropped his gaze self-consciously. The smile then left Reid's face. "You're not joking." He said, disappointed.

"No... I'm not." Morgan said, chancing a glance at his friend.

"W- Why?" Reid asked insecurely.

Morgan cleared his throat again.

"They don't think it's safe for you to be by yourself." Morgan said carefully. "At least not at first."

Reid looked highly offended.

"Safe?... I'm not going to hang myself!" Reid snapped indignantly.

Morgan winced.

"No. That's not what they mean, Reid."

Reid stared back at him, disbelievingly. "Honestly, Reid. That's not what they mean!" Morgan said quickly.

"Yeah, right." Reid muttered, sulkily.

"They are worried about the flashbacks and panic attacks." Morgan said gently.

Reid looked at him with brows furrowed. Morgan continued. "They are worried about how severe they are and they don't want you to be left alone."

Reid's tightened his lips.

"I'll be fine."

"You can come and stay with me."

"You're working." Reid countered quickly.

"I've taken some unpaid leave."

Reid looked annoyed.

"Why?"

"Why?" Morgan stared back at Reid, confused.

"Yes.. why?" Reid pressed again, the frustration barely masked in his voice.

"So I can stay with you!" Morgan said simply. "I'm not leaving you."

Again, Reid looked offended.

"I don't need baby sitting."

"I'm not saying you do, but your health has to come first."

Reid crossed his arms.

"And it will, but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Thank you." Reid replied bluntly. As if ending the conversation.

"Look Reid..." Morgan tried his best to be tactful. "It really isn't your decision to make."

"Excuse me?" Reid raised his eyebrows warningly at his older co-worker.

"It's not negotiable." Morgan simply stated, his gaze unflinching.

Reid laughed a little.

"No, you're right. It's not negotiable. I'm going home, by myself."

"No, Reid."

"Morgan, don't tell me what to do!" Reid snapped, slamming his coffee on the table in front of him.

"I'm sorry." Morgan took a deep breath, trying to keep a lid on the situation. "But this isn't something you have a choice in." He leaned forward, trying his best to get his friend to understand.

Reid's eyes flashed angrily.

"What do you mean 'this isn't something I have a choice in?' This is my life! If I want to go home by myself I can do as I damn well please!"

"Well you can do as you damn well please in a psychiatric unit then!" Morgan finally snapped, also slamming his coffee down on the table.

Reid looked at him in shock. Morgan closed his eyes, allowing the air out of his lungs. He really hadn't intended for this conversation to go that way.

"You would put me in a psychiatric unit?" Reid looked completely hurt.

Morgan shook his head, sighing.

"Not by choice." He leaned forward again, imploring Reid to understand. "But that's where they will put you if you won't stay with me... Like I said, they won't see you left alone."

"They think I'm crazy." Reid whispered, his eyes wide with concern.

"No, Reid. They don't." Morgan said gently, but strongly. "They think you're distressed... and you just need some support."

If Reid had appeared depressed before, then now he looked completely despairing. The colour had drained from his face and his features had dropped into a deep frown.

"How much more is he going to take?" He whispered.

Morgan looked up in slight surprise. This was the first time he'd heard Reid refer to Jason for a few days. Then his gaze dropped again.

"I know, kid... I know." He said quietly.

The two sat in silence for the rest of the visit.

* * *

><p>Reid sat in his hospital bed. This was his forth day in hospital and to say he was sick of it was an understatement. He just wanted to go home. But after what Morgan had told him the night before, even the refuge of his own space was now to be tainted with pitying looks and over-protective behaviours.<p>

He could feel the irritation buzzing through his veins. He felt like an almighty jolt of his joints would somehow dispel it but, with his injuries, that wasn't an option. He sighed, looking to the clock. It was nearly lunchtime. That dreaded time of day where the nurses would enter the room with a miserable looking tray, adorned with the hospital kitchen's latest rearrangement of slop. Reid's face twitched in disgust at the thought.

Which staple meal would they destroy this time? The last few days had certainly provided his bored mind with an 'interesting' game of 'guess the foodstuff'. More disturbingly, he had been incorrect on more counts than he'd care to admit. He told himself that any logical human being would consider that fact alone to be a good enough reason for not eating the produce. But deep down, he knew, any man who had eaten as little as he had over the last few days could not provide any 'logical' reason strong enough to not eat. But still, he allowed his stomach to rumble and his hunger to be prolonged.

It had clearly not gone unnoticed by the nursing staff, who had helpfully provided him with a protein drink in the morning. The sort they dished out to the elderly who no longer seemed to have an interest in eating any more. He had stared at the drink for nearly a half-hour, feeling like it almost summed up what his life had suddenly become. Not as much a 'fight' for survival as a general roll from one milestone to the next. No enjoyment, no real interest, just living, for the sake of being able to say that you're alive.

After the half-hour of eye-balling the carton, he finally spotted the word 'chocolate' and suddenly, the thought of rolling on a little further didn't seem quite so pointless. He figured he could at least make it to the afternoon without entirely giving up. Sipping at the not-completely disgusting drink, he watched people milling around the hospital, continuing on with their daily routines. Which, oddly enough, had entertained him up to twelve o'clock. But now he was feeling restless.

Reid bit his lip, his leg tapping slightly under the bed sheet. He unconsciously looked to the clock again.

_Ten minutes. _He thought to himself.

He clenched his jaw with slight determination, but couldn't help glancing at the clock every thirty seconds, just to see the progress he was making.

Blinking with frustration, he sighed and took out a book from his bedside cabinet. He started reading, his finger quickly gliding down each page. He found after the twentieth page, his concentration started waning. He shifted himself in the bed, wincing as a pain lanced up his chest. He sucked in a breath to keep from cursing. A spike of irritation shot through him again.

Clenching his teeth again, he tried to relax himself into the pillow behind. He opened the book again and proceeded from where he left off. After another minute or so, he found himself glancing up at the clock again.

_Seventeen minutes. _He noted.

Looking down at the book, he suddenly found himself extremely irritated by its presence. Shaking his head, he snapped the book shut and threw it back down into the cabinet.

Running a hand through his hair, he scrubbed a little at his scalp then started chewing on his lip. It was like there was an insatiable itch travelling around his body and down his limbs. He knew the sensation, a little too well.

Over the next ten minutes, he found himself shifting about more than was helpful to his recovery. Reaching for Rossi's DVD player, he figured he'd give that a shot. Leaning across, his bandaged right arm stretched out for the item. The loose ends of a stitch poked out from underneath the bandage and Reid found himself fascinated by it. Discarding the DVD player, Reid stared at his arm.

Sudden flashbacks entered his mind.

_Reid lay on his side as Jason finished with him._

"_Don't cry." His voice was soft and made Reid's skin crawl. "That wasn't so bad was it? It was everything I'd hoped it would be. You're mine now... In fact, I don't ever want you to forget it." _

Reid gasped, pulling himself out of the memory, a shudder running down his spine.

Again, Reid's temper flared. Why couldn't he control his mind? It seemed as though he had no choice any more about when his mind allowed a memory to come flooding in. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he took a couple of deep breaths.

Suddenly a loud noise came from the door, making him jump. Again, the pang of frustration buzzed through his veins and into his already tense jaw. He sucked in an irritated breath through his teeth.

"Woops, sorry Dr. Reid!"

Ruth was stood by the door, a pile of charts on the floor. "I need to look where I'm going I think." She said with a smile.

The anger quickly left Reid's body when he realised who it was. He suddenly felt very self-conscious and embarrassed. He smiled awkwardly at her. She lingered for a few moments to see if he would answer her. When he didn't, she smiled again. "Well, I'd better get on." She said softly, turning to leave.

Reid's back quickly straightened and his mouth set into action to call her back, then he bit his lip to stop himself. In a matter of milliseconds, Reid's mind argued with itself over calling the psychologist back.

"Ruth!" He called out, sounding more desperate than he wanted to. He winced at the tone of his voice, blushing slightly. She came back faster than he expected.

"Yes?" She leaned against the door frame, charts now held safely in front of her.

"Um..." Reid's brows furrowed. He looked for a moment as if he was going to say 'never mind'. He swallowed. "Have you, um... have you done the referral to the other psychologist yet?"

"No, not yet." She said simply. "I'm afraid I have been pretty snowed under. I will do it this afternoon." Reid's face dropped. "I thought you might want a break anyway." She smiled again, then waited, as if to ask, 'is that all?'

Reid nod was slightly delayed.

"Oh." He said, clearly sounding disappointed.

Ruth moved further into the room now.

"Why? Did you want to see him today?" She asked, moving towards his bed.

"No." Reid answered quickly. He dropped his gaze. "It doesn't matter." He said quietly.

She dropped herself into the chair next to his bed.

"What is it?" She asked gently.

Reid licked his lips uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry." He said cautiously. He wasn't used to apologising to people. He wasn't used to _offending_ people, so it wasn't something he did very often.

"Thank you." Ruth said with a nod.

Reid looked up at her, desperate to tell her that he couldn't speak to a male psychologist. But he didn't know how to say it without sounding like he was begging or pressuring her. And she wasn't giving him anything.

Ruth sat gazing at Reid, waiting for him to make the first move. She certainly wasn't going to assume that he wanted to see her instead, it wasn't her job. Even if she knew it to be true. Her job was to get her patients to tell her what they wanted, not make their decisions for them.

After a good thirty seconds, Reid still hadn't spoken. When he simply looked up and gave her an awkward smile, Ruth felt extremely disappointed. She had hoped that Reid had seen sense. But it looked as though the referral was going to have to go ahead.

She reluctantly stood.

"Oh well, I'd best get on." She smiled again, huffing out a little laugh. She turned her back to him.

Reid could feel the words almost travelling up his body until they blurted out of his mouth.

"Can I not stay with you?" Reid shook his head as soon as the words left his lips. They sounded so child-like and ridiculous. "No – I mean, on your service. On your service." He repeated, just to reiterate.

Ruth sucked in a breath through her teeth.

"Well you see, Dr. Reid, I've had a couple of new patients over the last two days and I'm not sure -" When she saw the look of disappointment on Reid's face, she stopped dead. "Look," she moved towards the bed again, as if sharing a secret. "It just so happens that I have a spare hour later today at three o'clock. How about we start afresh and see if we can sort something out?"

Reid nodded, hanging on her every word. He had felt so bad about what he had said to her, even if they both knew it was only a defensive tactic. It didn't mean he wanted to speak to her any more than he did before, but it was certainly preferable to a male psychologist. And he supposed he could find the odd issue to talk about.

Ruth smiled again. "Good." She said cheerily. "I will see you later then."

Reid nodded again his eyes a little wider than normal at the prospect of his appointment later, but he managed a small relieved smile. And for Ruth, that was enough.

She walked out of Reid's room, catching Dr. Marston's eye. The female doctor had been watching Ruth with intrigue. The psychologist then winked at her and mouthed 'three o'clock'.

Dr. Marston grinned with satisfaction. Now that was finally a step in the right direction.

* * *

><p>A knock on his door brought Hotch out of his reverie. His forehead had been firmly in his hand, pen grasped loosely in the other, twitching over the report laid out in front of him. Although his eyes hadn't actually focused on it for the last ten minutes. His thoughts were with Reid.<p>

Blinking slightly at the intrusion, he sat himself upright then leaned back in his chair, trying to appear composed.

"Come in." Hotch said firmly.

Rossi opened the door and entered, closing it behind him. He moved straight over to the chair on the opposite side of Hotch's desk.

"May I?" He gestured to the chair.

Hotch simply nodded and his colleague sat down. Rossi stared at him knowingly for a short while. They both knew what this was about. "Does it help?" Rossi asked strongly. Hotch furrowed his brows. Rossi continued. "Closing your blinds, burying your head in paperwork-"

"Stop right there, Dave." Hotch said suddenly with an authoritative tone. Rossi didn't even flinch. "What I do when I am in my office is not your concern... I'm working."

"And how long have you been 'working' on that report for?" Rossi said knowingly, looking at the minuscule amount of information Hotch had filled in. Hotch looked down at the sheet, irritated. Turning it over, he pushed it to one side.

"Is there something you need, Dave?" Hotch asked harshly.

"As a matter of fact, there is." Rossi's gaze was unflinching. Hotch, uncharacteristically, felt very self-conscious underneath it. And Rossi was more than aware of that fact. "I need you to accompany me."

Hotch's brows furrowed, looking sceptical.

"Where?"

"To the hospital."

Hotch felt his stomach flip suddenly. His face visibly paled. His gaze dropped to the desk and his hand started fumbling with a pile of papers to the right of him.

"I have a lot of work to do." He mumbled uncomfortably.

"Your in-tray is empty." Rossi said simply.

"And I have Jack. He's still struggling."

Rossi's gaze hardened.

"More than Reid?"

Hotch closed his eyes then sighed.

"Are you trying to get me to abandon my son?"

"No. I'm trying to get you to stop _using_ him."

Hotch's eyes flashed angrily.

"Remember your place, Dave." Hotch said sternly. Although Rossi wasn't intimidated.

"My place is and always has been with the team." Rossi replied, not put off by Hotch's attitude.

Hotch cleared his throat.

"Not always." He said under his breath. The fact that he was resorting to such childish tactics told Rossi he was prodding at a sore spot.

"You're right." Rossi said, conceding. "But I never took _you_ for the selfish type."

Hotch quickly glanced up, mild surprise in his eyes.

"I'm not." Hotch said in an embarrassingly weak tone.

"Well what would you call this?" Rossi asked, a small smile in his eyes.

Hotch's mouth dropped open to speak but no words came out. It was one of those rare moments where Hotch looked totally lost. He just shook his head, a tired hand coming up to his forehead.

Rossi gave a self-satisfied smile. "Whatever it is that's making you uncomfortable, push it aside. Hell, Aaron. We all have our own demons... some more than others." His thoughts flicked to Morgan. "We all get affected, by one thing or another. But avoiding it is not the answer." Rossi leaned forwards, his forearms resting on the desk in front of him. "Guilt helps no one."

Hotch lifted his gaze to his colleague, his face was depressed.

"I let him down." Hotch said simply.

"We all did." Rossi countered quickly.

"No Dave. I am his boss. I'm responsible for the safety of the people on this team. And I let him down."

"So what now?" Rossi asked passionately.

Hotch shook his head, hopelessly.

Rossi sat back in his chair. "You're just going to ignore him? Pretend that he doesn't exist? Because I'll tell you Aaron, that's only going to make things ten times worse."

"I have been with my son." Hotch said strongly.

Rossi nodded his head, his face serious.

"This is about Foyet." Rossi said suddenly.

"What? No!" Hotch scrunched up his features, as if the comment was ridiculous.

"You're avoiding the issue."

"And you're out of line, agent." Hotch snapped back, trying to regain his authority.

The two agents stared each other down for a few moments. It was a battle of wills. A small smile came to Rossi's face.

"In all the time I have worked with you, Aaron, I have had nothing but complete respect for you. You're professional at all times, you give yourself to the job, to the people we are helping and you are always a pillar of strength. You care. I see that. You care a lot more than people might initially think. But those are qualities I see in every member of the team, in one way or another. And I tried to figure out when I first came here, why it was _you_ heading this team. And not one of the many other agents who have excelled over the years. Why _you_ were chosen above every one else. And do you know what I came to?"

Hotch levelled his gaze with the older man, furrowing his brows in intrigue.

Rossi met his gaze unflinchingly. "You are the driving force. You are the one that keeps everything moving when the cogs are getting rusty. You're the one who delves in to take a look at the mechanics to see what the problem might be and instead of replacing the parts, you oil them and refine them until they work better than they did before. You are a fixer, Aaron. You don't solve a problem by discarding of it. You work at it and deal with it. It's just who you are."

Hotch shook his head with slight denial.

"Look Dave, as much as I'm grateful for the analogy, I really don't see what point you're trying to make."

Rossi looked deep into his eyes.

"Yes, you do." Rossi leaned onto the desk, once again, with his forearms. "The reasons why you feel you can't help him are exactly the reasons why you are the only person who can."

Hotch took a deep breath. The reasons flashed through his mind. _I'm his boss. I should have protected him. He respects me... Foyet._

Rossi stood now. "I'm not saying he will be magically healed. But Reid respects you. More than anyone else. The fact that you respect him too is probably one of the most important things to him. I don't need to tell you that... Without your support, well..." Rossi trailed off. He didn't need to finish that sentence. "Respect is earned, Aaron. You've already done the hard part. Make sure you don't lose it."

Rossi walked to the door, not appearing to wait for a response.

"I'll see you at seven." Hotch said, a hint of determination finally entering his voice.

Rossi turned to his younger colleague and gave a slight, respectful nod. Then opened the door and left.

* * *

><p>"Okay Dr. Reid. Are you happy with the way this works?" Ruth asked, flicking through the papers in front of her.<p>

"Yes." Reid nodded. He really didn't have strong feelings either way, so 'happy' was not necessarily the word he would use.

"And you understand the assessment process and what we are trying to achieve?"

"Yes." He said again, glad that the term 'understand' had been brought into it. That one he could he could be definite on.

"Okay... so let's begin." Ruth placed the papers in her file and sat back in her chair, hands resting limply in her lap. "What would you like to talk about today?" Her gaze was friendly, but still piercing. Reid could feel the nerves buzzing under his skin and his flesh getting hot as he blushed uncomfortably.

"Umm..." He furrowed his brows. Well this was an open question if ever he'd heard one. He was already assessing her therapy style. He shrugged his shoulders weakly.

Ruth remained silent for a good minute while Reid's thoughts flew his mind at an incredible rate. He knew what he should be talking about, but the words just wouldn't come out. He searched through all of his recent experiences and found nothing he was prepared to talk about. Every time he was about to open his mouth, he stopped himself. He just didn't want to talk about it. It was too much. Again, he shrugged his shoulders weakly, with a small, nervous laugh.

Ruth smiled a little.

"Why did you laugh just then?" She asked softly.

Reid furrowed his brows.

"Excuse me?"

"When you shrugged your shoulders, you laughed. What made you laugh?"

Reid stared at her, dumbstruck for a few moments.

"Umm... I – I don't know. I just... feel uncomfortable, I guess."

"What is that feeling of 'uncomfortable?'" Ruth asked plainly.

Reid opened his mouth to speak, then snapped it shut.

"You keep going to say things, Dr. Reid. What stops you?"

"I- I don't know." He said helplessly. Ruth didn't answer this time. He fumbled through some more indistinguishable words shaking his head. Then he took a deep breath and allowed his shoulders to relax a little. "I- I guess I just... don't really talk that much... about feelings." He said with a small smile.

Ruth nodded, her brows furrowing a little in thought.

"And why is that?"

"I don't know." He said laughing slightly, as if it was a ridiculous question. "I just don't."

Ruth nodded again in understanding.

"How does it make you feel when you talk about your feelings?"

Reid sat for a few moments, for the first time seeming to properly consider his answer. Then his face turned serious and he swallowed nervously.

"Vulnerable." He said honestly, looking at her as if it was the right answer.

"Why does it make you feel vulnerable, Dr. Reid?"

"I don't know, it just does!" He suddenly snapped becoming incredibly defensive. He had only allowed her in for a few seconds and it was already making him feel 'vulnerable'. He didn't like it.

Ruth gave him about a minute's silence, just to calm himself a little. He hadn't met her gaze during that time and seemed to be fidgeting with his hands. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft and imploring.

"What made you angry just then?"

"I know exactly what you're doing." Ruth raised her eyebrows in intrigue. "Cognitive behaviour. You think if you change the way my mind perceives the feelings and talking about them, my reactions to stress and the associations between expressing my feelings and negative thought patterns, I will somehow be able to divulge my experiences to you."

Ruth opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by Reid's nervous rambling. "And I know, _I know_ the therapy has its merits. But every time you speak to me... that is all I can think of. 'I know what she's doing'. And it's making it _really_ difficult." He said honestly, looking a little exasperated.

Ruth nodded again.

"And why do you think that is?"

"What? Why it makes it difficult?" Reid furrowed his brows.

"No... why do you think you can't stop thinking about my techniques?"

Reid sat for a few moments. A few reasons flashed through his mind. _Because I do what you do. Because psychology interests me... Because it takes my mind off what you're actually asking me._

"I don't know." He said quietly.

Ruth looked a little disappointed, but smiled regardless. He had already told her so much about himself purely by avoiding her questions.

"Okay... well, let's talk about something else." He nodded a little, swallowing. "How are you feeling today?"

"Physically or mentally?" He gave a bitter smile.

"Both."

Reid had the sudden urge to snap again, but managed to stop himself. He tried to remind himself that he had asked her to come. She was ready to palm him off to another psychologist and he had practically begged her to see him again. Trying to keep his temper in check, he took a deep breath.

Reid furrowed his brows and swallowed. Forcing himself to be honest.

"Well physically... I'm better." He gave a small smile, trying to seem pleased. Then he nodded, trying to distract from the fact he'd dodged the other question.

"Good... and mentally?" Ruth asked.

"Um... I'm... I'm alright." Reid said, letting out a breath. He dropped his gaze to the bed sheets.

Ruth watched him carefully. His mind was obviously somewhere else at that moment. There were so many things he wasn't saying. But that was hardly surprising. She was starting to realise it was going to take a lot of therapy for Reid to open up to anyone.

"Dr. Reid." She tried gently. "Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

Reid furrowed his brows again, then looked up to her. His face flushed red at suddenly being put on the spot. So many different things flashed through his mind at that moment. So many things that he could discuss but physically couldn't put into words. It felt like the words were knotting in his chest and his heart started beating faster, the pulse thumping sickeningly in his throat.

"I..." His breath caught a little and he swallowed it down. "No."

"Okay. Well... why don't you try telling me about yourself then?" Ruth smiled.

Reid looked up at her, slightly surprised.

"Um.. well... what do you want to know?" His gaze shifted uncomfortably.

"Anything you want to tell me."

Reid bit his lip thoughtfully. Now this he could cope with.

"Well... there's not really a lot to tell." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm from Las Vegas, I now live in Quantico. I'd probably call myself an 'academic'. I graduated high school at 12." He nodded, as if to explain. "I have PHD's in Chemistry, Mathematics and Engineering and also B.A's in Sociology, Psychology and Philosophy." At Ruth's raised eyebrows, he went on to explain further. "I have an IQ of 187." He said with a small smile. "Although there are debates as to whether IQ can be accurately quantified." He stopped himself then, preventing a long-winded explanation regarding the various studies looking into the accuracy of IQ testing and it's reflection on the general population.

"That's a lot of studying. It must take a lot of focus." Ruth said, clearly impressed. And if she was honest, slightly unnerved. The degree she had undertaken to qualify her to do this job was simply a side note on his resumé.

"I find it can be quite therapeutic. My mind doesn't tend to 'switch off' so studying helps me to focus rather than forces me to do so." Reid said with a little smile.

"How do you find working and studying?"

Reid looked thoughtful for a few moments before answering.

"I haven't been able to study as much since I took the job... but it's a good distraction. We all have our distractions." Reid shrugged.

"What do you mean by 'distractions'?" Ruth asked curiously.

"Something we do to divert our attentions away from where they might otherwise be."

Ruth smiled a little. She wasn't necessarily meaning a literal definition. Not feeling put off, she continued.

"Do you feel like you need a distraction?"

Reid bit his lip again as he thought.

"Sometimes. We all do."

Ruth nodded.

"You keep talking about 'we'. Who are you talking about?"

The team flashed into Reid's mind.

"Well... everyone." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

Not letting him escape his work colleagues, Ruth pushed forward.

"What about your work colleagues? Do they have 'distractions'?"

Reid swallowed a little.

"Um... yeah... I guess." He gave a tight lipped smile, avoiding eye contact. When Ruth didn't answer and just kept looking at him expectantly, he felt slightly pressured to go on. "Well JJ... she has Henry – her son – and her husband, Will. She has a family. Emily... She likes her own company. 'Sin to Win' weekends... whatever they are." Reid said with a quirk of an eyebrow. Ruth let out a slightly amused breath. "Rossi, well... he writes books... he's very private.. but I know he has his own forms of escape – cooking probably." Reid paused and swallowed. "Hotch... well he's got a son." He said quickly, almost dismissively. "And Morgan... he spends most of his social life in the clubs 'picking up hotties'. As he says."

"And you?... What do you do?" Ruth asked gently.

Reid looked at her as if she was stupid.

"I study."

"All the time?"

"Well... no. But I do a lot of reading."

"Do you and the team never socialise?" She asked, trying to get an idea of the team dynamic.

"Sometimes. We go to the movies sometimes. They go out to bars but I don't go often."

"Why not?"

Reid gave a small laugh.

"I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not exactly the 'going out' type."

Ruth raised her eyebrows with intrigue.

"And what sort of 'type' would you say you are?"

"The 'socially awkward' type." He said with a self-deprecating smile. "A night out for me invariably ends in disaster, embarrassment or a combination of the two. I've come to terms with that fact a long time ago. It's not a problem." Reid said simply. "Besides, alcohol and I don't mix too well. I've been told repeatedly that I'm a 'light-weight'. It's safer for the general population if I keep myself away from it." He said with the first genuine smile she had seen. She smiled back, unable to stop the warmth filling her heart. It was obvious why his team felt so protective over him.

"What do you mean by 'safer for the general population'?" She asked, probing once again.

The small smile that had lingered on Reid's face dropped a little as he thought about his words. Then his expression darkened.

"I... um... I don't have a lot of luck when I'm intoxicated." He said dryly. His mind obviously wandering to unpleasant places.

"What were you thinking about just then?" Ruth asked softly.

Reid shifted, his gaze darting around slightly as he tried desperately to come up with the right words.

_Jason sat on the couch, next to him, his knee pressing into the side of Reid's thigh and his face was just that little bit too close. The warmth of the whisky was buzzing through Reid's veins and he dropped his head back onto the couch. _

"_I should do this more often."Reid said with a smile._

"Dr. Reid?" Ruth asked strongly, pulling him away from the memories. Reid blinked for a few moments then brought his gaze back to Ruth. He looked a little confused.

"Sorry." He mumbled, then looked at her expectantly, as if he hadn't heard her question.

Ruth tried again with a different question.

"What did you mean when you said you don't have a lot of luck when you're intoxicated?"

Reid's lips tightened.

"I... um... I just seem to... I don't know... get into trouble, I guess." Reid's gaze dropped to the bed, depressively, his hands wringing a little.

"Trouble?" Ruth questioned, with a raise of her brows.

"Mmm..." He hummed in apparent recognition of her words.

"What do you mean by trouble?" She probed again, gently.

After a few moments of silence, she leaned forwards a little to get a look under Reid's hair at his eyes. They had a far away look in them and his hands were wringing repetitively.

Sighing a little, she stood, leaning to talk into his ear.

"Dr. Reid... it's Ruth." She said calmly and quietly. "You are perfectly safe. You are in the hospital in a safe and secure environment. What you are seeing now is memories, that's all. They are not real." She gently and tentatively put a hand to his back. "That is my hand on your back, concentrate on that feeling and bring yourself away from the memories. You are safe. You are in the hospital. Nobody can hurt you." She repeated the words like a mantra, talking softly into his ear until she heard a deep inhale and saw his face lift a little. He blinked a few times, as if clearing his vision.

She removed the hand from his back and moved in front of him to gain his attention. "Dr. Reid. Do you know where you are?"

He swallowed, trying to regain his bearings. He pulled his face away from hers. She spoke calmly but assertively. "Dr. Reid, look at me... Do you know where you are?"

He swallowed thickly turning to look at her, his eyes were still slightly glazed.

"Yes." He said, sounding a little breathless, although his breathing appeared normal.

He pulled his face away again.

"Dr. Reid!" Ruth said strongly.

"Yes!" He said quickly and a little too loudly. This time Reid shook his head, seemingly bringing himself back to reality. Suddenly he was much more attentive.

Ruth looked deep into his much clearer eyes.

"Do you know where you are?" She pressed again.

"Yes." He nodded. "I'm in the hospital."

"Good." Ruth said with a relieved smile. "Are you okay?" She asked softly.

At this, Reid's eyes started to tear up a little but he swallowed, closing his eyes. Then he nodded.

"I'm fine." He whispered. Not sure who he was trying to convince.

Ruth looked at him for a few moments then picked up her file.

"I think we've talked enough for today." She stood up. "You've done really well, Dr. Reid." She smiled, trying her best not to sound patronising. "Do you mind if I see you again before you are discharged?"

Reid chanced an embarrassed glance up at her.

"No." He said weakly.

"Okay, well the nurses will sort out your next appointment for you. If you feel the need to see me any sooner, just ask... Okay?"

"Okay." Reid nodded, letting out a deep breath. His hands were shaking a little as he reached up to tuck his hair behind his ear.

"I'll see you soon." Ruth smiled and left.

* * *

><p>Rossi and Hotch walked into Reid's room. He was dozing a little, which was good to see. Hotch was shocked to see Reid's condition. He hadn't seen him since he was brought in five days ago and it didn't make for pleasant viewing. Now he was all cleaned up, he had hoped his appearance would be more appealing. But no. His bruises were still dark and overpowering, if anything, they were darker. Although the swelling on his face had gone down somewhat. But he looked thin. Thinner than when he was admitted. That hadn't gone unnoticed by anyone so far. Whatever the hospital had been feeding him, it wasn't enough. He didn't look particularly clean either. But that was to be expected. He was hardly surprised that Reid didn't look to be accepting bed baths.<p>

Reid mumbled in his sleep slightly, bringing Hotch's attention back to the task at hand. He moved forward, following Rossi's lead.

"God, he still looks so young." Hotch whispered involuntarily.

"It's easy to forget he's twenty-nine." Rossi added quietly.

"That's still no age, Dave."

"You're telling me." Rossi said with a small smile, sitting down next to the bed. "Reid?" Rossi said gently, trying to rouse the young man.

Hotch leaned in from the other side.

"Do we have to wake him?"

Rossi just shot him a look as if to say 'you are seeing him whether you want to or not.' He knew, Hotch had been avoiding this. Despite Hotch's protestations to the contrary.

"Reid?" Rossi gave him a small nudge. Reid stirred from him sleep, making a small humming noise as he came round. He wiped his eyes tiredly as he awoke. "Afternoon doctor." Rossi said with a smile.

Reid finally opened his eyes. For once, he didn't jump out of his skin at the sound of a voice. He was finally adjusting to his surroundings.

"... Hey, Rossi."

"How've you been, kid?"

"Asleep." He said with a little smile. He felt better for having a had a few peaceful hours. Reid shifted to get himself more comfortable, then sucked in a breath as his chest complained.

"You alright?" Hotch asked, leaning forward, concerned.

"Oh, hey... Hotch." Reid said, suddenly appearing very on edge. His cheeks blushed a little.

Reid then looked at the clock.

"I'm due some more painkillers..." He turned to Hotch. "Will you ask the nurse for me, please?"

Hotch nodded and went to stand.

"I'll go." Rossi cut in, suddenly standing up, his gaze was challenging. He then turned and vacated the room. Reid and Hotch looked to Rossi with slight panic in their eyes. When he left the room the tension could have been cut with a knife. Hotch sat forwards, looking down at his hands, taking the odd small glance up to Reid's face, careful not to be noticed. Reid's mouth twitched nervously and his gaze darted around the room, desperately looking for inspiration to strike up a conversation.

"So." They both started at the same time, Reid gave a little tight lipped smile with a small huff of amusement, whilst Hotch furrowed his brows. He was completely furious with himself for feeling so uncomfortable. This was _Reid._ This was his job. This was _Reid_, damn it!

"How's Jack?" Reid asked, knowing that he was the excuse that had been used on many occasions throughout the last five days.

"He's fine." Hotch answered with slight embarrassment. "How are you?" He asked, his eyes full of concern.

"I'm okay." Reid said, taking his gaze away from his boss. Reid glanced at the clock then shifted again, chewing on his lip slightly.

The room descended into an uncomfortable silence again. Neither of them quite knowing what to say to each other. Five days was a long time between visits given the circumstances.

"Bored." Reid added, trying to keep conversation afloat. He was trying his best not to be angry with Hotch for the lack of visits. Hotch was a busy man, he couldn't be mothering over him 24/7.

"Shouldn't be too long until they let you out of here." Hotch commented hopefully.

"Nope." Reid replied with a quick smile, then turned his face away from Hotch, looking at the other side of the room as if there was something of interest.

Hotch examined his sub ordinate's face then found his gaze following the faint purple bruises that were tracing their way down the side of Reid's face and neck. The hickeys still hadn't faded yet. Hotch swallowed. He really should have been here. Reid shouldn't have had to go through this without the support of his boss. Not only had he let him down before his whole ordeal, he had let him down after. If Reid ever forgave him, it would be a miracle.

Hotch had gotten so lost in his own thoughts, he hadn't realised Reid was now looking at him. He was still staring at Reid's neck.

Reid shifted insecurely, pulling his pyjamas up around his neck, knowing what was there.

Hotch's eyes suddenly came back into focus and he sat up abruptly.

"Sorry." He said quickly.

Reid had now gone bright red. He had been dreading Hotch coming in enough as it was. He already felt like less of a man. Hotch had been through so much with Foyet and never even blinked. The Foyet saga had gone on for months. His own ordeal had only been a few days and he'd begged and cried, had flashbacks, nightmares, all of the clichés you could possibly think of. The last thing he needed now was ever so strong Hotch sitting in front of him, examining his weaknesses.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hotch asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Yes." Reid snapped quickly. He looked again to the clock. His fingers started tapping lightly on the bed sheet.

Hotch watched his hands for a few moments. Reid was clearly on edge. He looked up to Reid's face, who was looking back at him again.

"You don't have to lie to me, Reid." Hotch pressed.

"Why do you think I'm lying?" Reid asked defensively. Hotch was silent for a few moments as he considered his answer.

"After what you've been through, it wouldn't be surprising if you were struggling." Hotch said, maintaining eye contact with his subordinate. Reid shifted, appearing slightly offended.

"Why? Because it's me?" Reid's hard gaze held onto Hotch's.

Hotch seemed confused for a few moments.

"What?"

"Well, I'm just wondering if you would be asking the same question if I were Rossi or Morgan."

"Reid, that's ridiculous." Hotch scoffed.

"What is?" Reid challenged.

"Comparing yourself to Morgan and Rossi." Hotch said passionately.

"Why? Because they would never be in that situation?"

"No-" Hotch tried to argue but was cut off.

"Because only I am weak enough to get myself into a position where I could be.. be... _overpowered_ by another man?"

"No, Reid." Hotch's eyes were upset now and a little frustrated. "Not at all. It could have happened to _any _one of us."

"Sure it could." Reid spat back.

They sat there in silence for a few moments, considering the words that had been said. Reid was clearly starting to deal with what had happened to him, he wasn't completely avoiding the subject which, in Hotch's opinion, was a good sign. But the self-loathing was a concern. Perhaps it was anger at Hotch for not being there, perhaps it was anger at himself for 'allowing' it to happen. Most likely it was a combination of the two, along with the fact that he felt a need to be strong in front of his boss. A need that Reid had likely become resentful of. It was obvious to Hotch that his opinion of Reid was highly important to the younger man. Not being visited had, clearly, only driven a wedge. Allowed insecurities to set in. It seemed Reid felt that Hotch would no longer value him. Or respect him, which Hotch knew, was so important to the young doctor.

After a long period of silence, Hotch brought his serious gaze up to Reid's face, he didn't return it.

"I understand how you feel." Hotch said simply. His gaze never faltered. He wanted to show Reid he was honest. Reid glanced at him for a few moments then scoffed a little. He turned away.

Hotch continued. "To feel weak and helpless..." The words didn't come easy to Hotch, they came from the very pit of his stomach. "To feel like less of a man."

Reid's eyes opened wider and his gaze shot to his boss, he searched his eyes for a few moments. His mouth dropped open to say something.

"Here we go." Rossi said, swinging the door open. "One lovely young nurse at your service." He presented a young female nurse like a prize. She smiled at the joke.

Hotch automatically sat back in his chair, turning to Rossi, although it was obvious to the older profiler that something had been going on between the pair. Reid didn't take his eyes off Hotch. He was clearly both intrigued and confused. Hotch on the other hand, seemed quick to dismiss their conversation.

"Excuse my colleague." Hotch said to the nurse with a smile. "He's not quite caught up with the whole sexism thing yet."

"Hey, I'm not a sexist." Rossi said holding his hands up in a humorous manner.

"Well nurse Lesley will be glad to hear it. He's always fishing for compliments." The young nurse said with a wink to Rossi.

Rossi chuckled. The only thing he liked better than a young nurse, was a young nurse with a good sense of humour.

She moved forwards to pick up Reid's chart. "Now let's have a look here." She said thoughtfully. "Yes, it appears you are due." She said to Reid, who was now looking at her in anticipation. She produced two pills in a pot and handed them to the doctor. "How is your pain, Dr. Reid?" Before she had finished her question, Reid had grabbed his water and swallowed the tablets.

"Not good." He replied honestly.

"Is it any better than yesterday?" The nurse was writing little notes.

"A little."

"From one to ten?"

"About a six or seven?" He winced slightly as he shifted in the bed.

The nurse smiled.

"Well that's an improvement! At least we're going in the right direction."

Reid just nodded, looking more than a little fed up of being spoken to in a patronising manner.

The nurse swallowed, suddenly feeling unwelcome. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No... thanks." Reid answered, not even acknowledging her with a glance. He had spent the last five days under the care of young female and male nurses. Each and every one of them knew why he was there and what had happened to him. He didn't appreciate it. He didn't appreciate the sympathetic smiles and the forced jokes. He didn't appreciate the child like way they spoke to him, or the scripted compliments they handed out to him on a daily basis. He didn't appreciate that female nurses felt the need to giggle and overcompensate to show Reid he was still a normal man. Or that the male nurses felt the need to 'respectfully' avert their gaze every time they entered the room. As much as the miserable nurses could be quite forceful and unfeeling, in a way he preferred them. There was no ceremony, no apparent need to make him feel special or fuss over him. He just felt normal around them, like any other patient.

"Okay, well I will come back and check on you in a while." She smiled sweetly, turning to Rossi who nodded his thanks. Then she left.

"My, my." Rossi said with a grin. "If I ever have an accident, I know which ward I'll be coming on to."

Hotch just shook his head in amused dismay. Reid couldn't help smiling a little too. If anyone else would have said it, the sexual undertones probably would have bothered him. But Rossi was such a womaniser, it had almost become a part of who he was. It was no more offensive than Garcia's ridiculously tight skirts and fishnet tights.

The room descended into silence again and Reid quickly started eyeing Hotch expectantly. Hotch was avoiding his eye contact. Rossi, sensing that something had been left very much unsaid, shifted a little, clearing his throat to draw their attention.

"Does anyone want any coffee?"

Hotch just shook his head, knowing that regardless of his answer, Rossi would be leaving the room.

Rossi turned to Reid. "Reid?"

"Please."

"Caffe mocha?" Rossi said with a small smile, knowing that Reid would likely want one of the sickly beverages.

Reid winced a little, shaking his head.

"Caffe Americano. Two sugars."

Rossi lifted his eyebrows at this, even Hotch turned to look at the doctor. This was quite uncharacteristic.

"Are you sure?..." Rossi asked. "...No chocolate? No sprinkles? Cream? Caramel? _Syrup?"_

Reid paled slightly.

"No. Just black please."

Rossi nodded.

"Fair enough, black coffee for the doctor, calorific mocha-choca syrup coffee explosion for me.." He said with a small smile. "... I'll be back in ten." This was directed mostly to Hotch. Rossi knew they had things to discuss. He then left the room, closing the door behind him.

Hotch weighed Reid up and down for a short moment.

"You're not eating." He stated simply. Reid bit his lip.

"I am." He said with no real commitment.

"Reid." Hotch looked at him with a scrutinizing gaze.

"Okay, so I've not got much of an appetite. Food isn't exactly top of my priority list right now." Reid's expression was serious and tight.

"You've lost weight." Hotch pointed out. "What _have_ you been eating?"

Reid met his gaze unflinchingly, weighing his boss up for a few moments.

"You've really come here to discuss my diet?... I'm eating. That's all you need to know." He said simply, his tone was abrupt, but not necessarily abrasive.

Hotch felt slightly reprimanded by Reid at that moment. It was a foreign feeling to him. Had this not been the first solo visit he'd made in the last five days, he probably would have put the young man in his place. But he felt as though he was on unsteady ground. Reid was clearly, and quite rightly, feeling let down by Hotch. That much was apparent. And the feelings were not unfounded. Hotch knew it was purely his status as Unit Chief that was forcing Reid to accept his company right now. Further driving the point home by reprimanding him back, didn't seem like the best idea. So Hotch held his tongue.

They sat in silence for a good minute. Both desperate to broach the subject that had been raised before Rossi's interruption, but neither brave enough to actually raise it. Hotch sighed, he had come to Reid to help him. Not to set him on edge. He mentally slapped himself. He couldn't let his pride get in the way of this, what use was it? And he was sure Reid had very little left. The notion of pride to Reid was probably ridiculous right now. Hotch had to put himself in his colleague's shoes. Hotch had managed to regain his pride, now he had to help Reid do the same.

"I understand how you feel." Hotch said simply, finally taking the conversation back to its original destination. Although this time, Reid looked less interested. Depression had clearly set in.

"Really." Reid said, with little concern.

"When..." Hotch started then took a deep breath. "When Foyet did what he did to me... I felt weak..." He took another deep breath. This was clearly an uncomfortable place for Hotch to be in. "I felt like less of a man."

Reid eyed him carefully for a moment, unsure how to take the confession. He couldn't see much similarity in the two situations if he was honest. Hotch had been stabbed multiple times by a psycho with a knife. There wasn't really a lot that one could do about that. But Reid had been attacked by a friend, a friend who he had allowed into his life. Not someone who forced their way into the house, waiting in the shadows. But someone he had sat on the couch with, laughed with, drank with. Ultimately putting himself in a vulnerable position. _That_ was the difference. Foyet wasn't Hotch's fault, where as Jason _was_ his.

Hotch spoke again. "Reid." He pulled his colleague out of his self-deprecating thoughts. "After Foyet, I felt like... I'd let myself down. That I'd let him into my home and somehow I deserved what I got because I let my guard down."

Reid only listened to his boss. He made no move to argue or agree. Nothing. He just listened. Hotch wasn't sure whether it was good or bad. His face was unreadable. He was clearly in a deep depression.

Hotch continued. "I felt like less of a man... because I hadn't been able to protect myself. I'd allowed myself to be stabbed nine times and as a result, I no longer trusted my own judgement."

Reid then furrowed his brows.

"You didn't exactly _allow_ it." Reid's small voice replied.

"No." Hotch replied confidently. "But it took me months to realise that... Then when he... he killed Haley, I realised it wasn't just me I couldn't protect. I couldn't protect her either and that's what a man is supposed to do. Protect their family. Protect themselves." Hotch's voice was becoming passionate, a little lost in his own overwhelming memories and feelings. "We are supposed to fight, no matter what. We are supposed to be strong. And I couldn't do that." He dropped his gaze to his lap. "I couldn't keep them safe any more than I could keep myself safe."

Hotch took another deep breath, this time it was full of emotion. Then glanced up at Reid. He was surprised to see silent tears rolling down his young colleague's face. He leaned forward slightly, his concern for Reid now overshadowing his own emotions. "Reid?" He asked.

Reid shook his head. Refusing to respond.

Hotch shifted towards Reid in his chair. "Reid. Talk to me."

Reid fruitlessly wiped the tears away from his eyes, they were quickly replaced by more. He cursed himself for his lack of self-control. He closed his eyes, trying to make his next words easier and less embarrassing.

"I'm weak." He breathed out, more tears rolling down his face. Hotch resisted the urge to wade in and tell him the contrary for fear of cutting him off. "I let... Jason... into my life." He pulled his hands up to his face, covering it out of embarrassment as he cringed. "God, I must be so pathetic."

Hotch winced at the words. He remembered those feelings well. Not necessarily for the same reasons and he imagined that Reid must feel completely exposed. But he remembered having those exact thoughts.

Reid continued on, his voice shaking. "I... I just keep thinking... what is it that he... he saw in me? Am I really _that_ weak and pathetic that he knew he could get away with it?" Reid shoulders shook as a sob escaped his lips. "And I just proved him right... God, the things I let him do."

At this Hotch had to stop him.

"Reid. You did not _let _ him do _anything_. You had no choice."

"There's always a choice." Reid said bitterly.

Hotch looked softly at Reid.

"Not _always._" Hotch sat back in his chair feeling like he was getting through to him. Something that, apparently, no one had been able to do as yet. "What else could you have done?" Hotch said, shrugging his shoulders.

Reid's brows furrowed and he started to stutter.

"I-... I could have fought."

Hotch looked at him pointedly, doing a quick sweep over his body with his eyes.

"I think you did enough of that, looking at you." Hotch said simply.

"I-... I should have seen it. Stopped it before it even happened."

"What?" Hotch raised his eyebrows. "Like everyone does?... Like I did?... Like Morgan did when he was a kid?... It doesn't happen that way Reid. These people are skilled at what they do."

"But so are we!" Reid snapped. "What sort of a profiler am I if I couldn't spot what was right in front of my face?... What- What kind of _man_ am I, when I can't fight off another man? What kind of FBI agent can't fight off another man?" Reid said angrily, his face going red.

"You tried." Hotch said passionately. "You tried and that's all that matters."

Reid scoffed.

"I tried." He started laughing. "I _tried._... I _failed_, Hotch. And as a result I got used as some... some... _sex doll_ by a pervert who I _thought _was my friend."

Hotch winced at the words. They were explicit, particularly coming out of Reid's mouth. They sounded completely wrong.

"It wasn't your fault." Hotch spoke the words before he'd even considered them. They were so clichéd. So overused. Reid, understandably, laughed in his face. He was getting slightly hysterical. It was clear he didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Hotch spoke again, more confident with his words this time. "It wasn't, Reid." He looked at his colleague seriously. Reid's face then turned equally serious.

"Hotch..." He took a few moments of silence to choose his words carefully. Hotch's attention was undivided. "Do you know why I don't have friends?"

Hotch appeared a bit taken a back by the question. He shuffled back in his seat, feeling the ground slipping out from underneath him slightly.

"You have friends Reid."

"Outside of work." Reid countered quickly.

Hotch considered his answer for a few moments, he couldn't find a better answer.

"No." He replied, honestly.

"Because every friend I have ever had in my life has betrayed me." Reid said bitterly. He looked as though he was going to explain further, but couldn't bring himself to. He snapped his mouth shut and took a deep inhale. "I should have known better." He said simply. His eyes hard.

Hotch shook his head.

"No Reid. There is nothing wrong with trusting people."

"I think between Jason and I, we've proved that theory incorrect." Reid countered with cold humour.

Hotch just stared at his younger colleague for a few moments. So many emotions were radiating from Reid at that moment. There was hatred, both for himself and Jason. And seemingly everyone around him could have a sample from time to time too. He was embarrassed, humiliated, undermined, insecure, guilty, depressed... too many to name. Hotch didn't think he'd ever seen such a melting pot of emotions in the machine of logic that was normally Dr. Reid. Embarrassment and insecurity were generally common place. He could sometimes see sadness, or flashes of anger here and there. But generally, Reid kept his emotions hidden. Hotch also felt honoured that he was trusted enough to share this moment with Reid. Perhaps it was his own confession that brought Reid to him, or perhaps Reid was finally realising that his team would always be there for him. To Hotch, it didn't really matter. The fact he was discussing things, however little, was a step in the right direction.

"Trusting people is what makes you human, Reid. Men like Jason and Foyet, they don't know how to trust, because they're not human. They can't empathise... they don't _feel_. If you start pushing away the things that separate you from him, what do you become?" Hotch looked at Reid, seriously asking the question.

Reid furrowed his brows for a few moments. He knew Hotch was right. But what on earth was he supposed to think? Trust had gotten him nowhere in the past and it seemed to still be working like a charm for him now. Reid licked his lips uncomfortably and shot Hotch a quick, nervous glance.

"I hate people." He breathed out a little laugh. Hotch didn't laugh back, he merely looked thoughtful for a few moments.

"Does that include us?" Hotch asked gently. Reid quirked an eyebrow at him as if to suggest it was a strange question, Hotch continued. "We let you down... _I_ let you down." Hotch said, almost shyly.

Reid dropped his gaze to the bed.

"I don't hate you." He said simply. That was all Hotch was getting.

The older man eyed Reid for a short while, refusing to respond to such a vague answer. He felt bad using his profiling skills on his distressed colleague, but he knew how to get people to talk. And he knew Reid. As expected, Reid started getting edgy underneath his scrutinizing gaze. He started chewing on his lip and shifting around a little in the bed. Hotch waited.

"I-... I..." Reid started to stutter, desperate for Hotch to rescue him, but he didn't. "I don't hate you." Reid reiterated his original point. Hotch raised his eyebrows as if to say 'really?' "Honestly, I don't." Reid said quickly. "I just..." He trailed off, finding himself too nervous to say what he was about to say. "I..." Reid took a deep breath, then huffed it back out in frustration. "I'm just so god damn angry!" He snapped suddenly. Then he shot a nervous glance to Hotch, expecting him to be annoyed. But he wasn't, he was just sat, listening. He breathed out another moody huff, judging it to be okay to show his anger to his boss. "Nobody was there for me. _Nobody_! I needed help. And not one of you saw that! You spend your lives identifying potential psychopaths, sadists, sociopaths... and one was right in front of you and you guys never saw it. You called me a drug addict. You called me _crazy _before any one of you saw the signs. And then it was too late. I _trusted_ you guys with my life. I _trusted_ you guys to recognise when I needed help. And instead of helping me, you sent me home."

Hotch suddenly felt the need to jump in.

"Reid, I had no choice. You physically attacked a co-worker."

"While that co-worker _mentally_ attacked me! Right in front of your eyes! I didn't see him being reprimanded - Oh no, sorry. He got rewarded didn't he? Sent home nice and early so he could come round and rape me!" Reid was getting to the point of furious now. His words were harsh and brutally honest. Five days worth of anger was coming out in one fell swoop.

Hotch closed his eyes at the words. They were painfully true.

Reid continued, his voice low now. "But do you know what really bugs me most? Out of everything?" Hotch looked at him, an indication for him to carry on. "The fact that I trusted you guys to look after me if I became like my Mom." His voice became shaky with upset and his eyes started to cloud. "And... for the _tiniest_ moment of time, that was becoming a reality. I felt like I was going mad. And instead of being supported, I was exiled." A tear ran down his face. Hotch's gaze softened as the implications of his actions became painfully clear.

Before Hotch could answer, Reid cut in again. "I know I was acting strangely and it looked like I was going mad. I _felt_ like I was going mad..." He eyed his boss for a short moment. "I was... scared... Scared I was becoming like her. And you guys knew that." Reid's voice softened with upset. "And not one of you helped."

Hotch's brows were furrowed. His face set in deep thought as it often was when he heard something sad or disturbing. He sat for a good thirty seconds without speaking, considering his answer. Did he argue? Did he defend the team and himself for the decisions they made? Or did he admit fault? And if he did, would it really make a difference? Would he just be creating more issues between everyone?

"I'm sorry." He said in a low, depressed tone. "I'm so sorry." Reid looked up, tears clouding his eyes. Hotch stared back at him, the guilt dancing nervously in his features. Reid's lip started to quiver slightly and Hotch felt the sudden urge to comfort his young subordinate. He put his hand on Reid's shoulder in a supportive gesture, then Reid's barriers dissolved. He slumped forward, towards Hotch and broke down, a loud sob escaping his lips.

Hotch quickly stood, wrapping his arms around the young man's back, allowing Reid's face to rest against his abdominals as he sobbed into his shirt. Hotch's hand went to Reid's head and stroked gently.

The only time Reid had ever hugged Hotch was after Hankel. But there was none of the relief in this exchange that there had been in Georgia. The hug in Georgia had been like a heavy sigh, the weight was there but it was quickly lifting at the relief of finding Reid alive. But this was entirely different. Hotch felt like Reid was sinking. He was clinging to him, as if Hotch was the only thing grounding him at that moment.

Hotch closed his eyes. He really shouldn't have left it so long. The team meant too much to him to abandon them when they most needed him... Reid meant too much to him.

Reid cried for a good few minutes, the sobbing that had racked his body slowly dissipated into small sniffles and hitching breaths.

"I'm sorry." He said, suddenly pulling away and quickly wiping his eyes.

Hotch released him instantly, very aware that Reid needed to be in control of this exchange.

"Don't." Hotch said with a slight warning in his voice, looking pointedly at Reid as he sat down once again. "You have _nothing_ to be sorry for."

Reid just closed his eyes and smiled a self-deprecating smile. He huffed out a small breathy laugh. His mental state was deeply concerning.

Hotch watched his subordinate carefully, through concerned eyes. He'd never seen Reid like this before, which was hardly surprising. But he had to admit, after the video-taped confession of love, Hotch had hoped that Reid would be a little more receptive to their care.

They sat for a good minute in silence.

"I'm sorry I avoided coming here." Hotch admitted flatly. Reid looked at him in mild surprise. "Sometimes I'm not as strong as you think I am." Hotch gave a slightly wry smile. "Whatever example you feel I've set for you, I just want you to know that it's only because I work with such talented and gifted people that I can set such an example. I learn from all of you, just as much as you learn from me. I've never been more proud of a group of people in my life as I am towards all of you." Hotch's eyes were completely sincere and unflinching.

Reid furrowed his brows and dropped his gaze.

"Don't do this, Hotch." He said quietly.

Hotch shook his head.

"Do what?"

"Take what I said to you... on... on _that_ tape and... and feel like you need to return the favour."

"Reid-"

"Please, just don't patronise me. I'd rather be seen as a liability than be praised with false respect."

Hotch's mouth dropped open a little with shock.

"Reid. I would _never_ see you as a liability and I certainly wouldn't tell you that I respect you if I don't."

"What choice do you really have?" Reid asked with a raised eyebrow. Hotch sighed, feeling a little frustrated. "Well really? What choice _do_ you have?" Reid reiterated the question. "You have an agent sat in a hospital bed like some feeble cripple incapable of defending himself, psychologically incompetent enough to befriend... _him_ and emotionally erratic to the point where I can't stop crying like some deprived pre-pubescent school child. Throwing respect at me is probably the most considerate thing you can do for me right now." Reid huffed like the moody school child he perceived himself to be.

But despite Hotch's concern, he couldn't help the slight quirk upwards at the corners of his mouth.

"You are far too hard on yourself." Hotch said simply.

Reid glanced at him quickly. It wasn't quite the reaction he had been expecting. In a way, he had hoped that Hotch would argue with him, so he could carry on down the destructive path of self-loathing a little longer. He really felt like he needed to pull himself apart. He was so disgusted, he just wanted to take his anger out on its source: himself . Which was a dangerous position to be in and Hotch knew it. He wasn't going to let Reid do that.

"You are brilliant." Hotch said matter-of-factly. "The only thing that makes you psychologically incompetent is the fact that you can't see it."

Reid shook his head in embarrassed denial but Hotch cut him down. "And I won't argue with you about this. This is probably the only time in my life where I can positively and confidently tell you that you are wrong. And you won't take that small victory away from me." Hotch said, almost petulantly.

It was unusual for Hotch to speak in such a way, but it was exactly what Reid needed at that moment. He seemed to be organising his own pity party and Hotch didn't like to see it. Reid had every right to feel sorry for himself. But Hotch didn't want to bear witness to Reid's self-assault. He'd been assaulted enough without further injuring himself.

Hotch leaned forwards in his chair, looking Reid straight in the eye. "I'm not going to tell you that this is going to be easy and I can't tell you how to deal with this. But what I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, is that you are one of the strongest people I know. And eventually, you will get through this... and we'll be with you every step of the way."

Reid looked straight back at Hotch, his eyes wide and unsure. The thought of ever getting over this seemed like an impossibility at that moment. But the fact that Hotch was finally there to support him made the process seem slightly more worthwhile. He didn't know why the man's support meant so much to him, but it did. Much like Gideon's once had. Reid gave a small nod in agreement. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

A knock came at the door and Rossi walked in.

"I come bearing gifts." Rossi said in a light-hearted manner, holding two cups of coffee. He headed straight towards Reid and handed him the cup, then sat down. Rossi could already feel the tension that had permeated the room earlier, lifting. He smiled. "Wanna watch a film?"

For the first time since he'd been found, they saw Reid smile a genuine smile.

"Yeah... why not?"


End file.
